My brother wrote this! oooof...

[irisetta]

Bear in mind that this boy has never *studied* literature, in fact he only really ever picked up a book and started reading at the age of 20 or so (amazing us all!) and is still now only 25... he got a 2:1 in Sports Journalism last year from St Martin's College (despite never having sat a single A-Level), and now he wants to be sub-editor. Of some

Comments

[blacktimberwolf]

It's very good indeed. Is there more to the story? That last sentence sounds more of a "hook" line than an ending.

What's really impressive when you mention his background is that the points for correction are merely mechanical; some awkward punctuation decisions mainly. I'd also make the first paragraph less "literary" in style too - but that's a personal preference, I've been known to throw works of "modern literature" in the charity shop when I think the author needs to unstick their head from their arse and rewrite the story in English. In the real world it would purely be down to what end of the market you though best to pitch to.

Has he considered looking into local writing groups? By which I mean people seriously looking for or even having already been published somewhere other than the church magazine.

[irisetta]

He needs a kick up the arse to do so. Seriously, he's been writing this stuff purely for himself - the fact he's got to share with his immediate family what he's been working on as of late is a massive plus point, and I'm very proud of him

[alexmatt]

Highly impressive. Would still be impressive if he had a degree in English Lit. Not even at work I read English of this quality very often.... he definitely has a future writing, the tricky part as usual will most probably be know what to write on, whom for and get the proper contacts.

[irisetta]

Indeed. I'll be feeding all of this back to him, obviously! Thanks for the input cheri :) I just want to make sure he doesn't lose this!! I'm so proud of him right now as it is, but his potential is incredible. Thank you again x