그렇지 마...
그렇지 마... (Don't be like this...)
pairing: none, ninja!Key/Nicol fwb
rating: PG-13
beta-read: a_life_defiant
requested by: mimi_oly
Jinki entered the coffee shop near their company. This shop was mostly used by SM company as it was close, and the owner made an agreement with the management. He ordered macchiato latte and then he spotted it.
It was Kibum sitting by the small table with … Kyun-ha. One of the dancers from Jinki's musical. Yong Kyun-ha was a girl that Jinki started to date few weeks ago, but had to let go of her not much later. He, Kyun-ha, Kibum, and Jonghyun once or twice met for karaoke. But he never knew... he never anticipated Kibum would keep meeting her after their break up. If it was Jonghyun, he'd consider letting it go but...
“Hello, what a … surprise.” He said bitterly and invited himself to their table.
The girl looked ashamed, and Kibum instantly looked pissed off.
“Jinki oppa, what are you...” the girl started but the older boy never let her finish.
“Well, this is our coffee shop. I go here daily. It's a place where SM Ent. people come, and we also take our dates here; which leaves the question…” He looked at Kibum, who was now gritting his teeth and his eyes were fixed on the table.
“Did Kibum bring you here as his date, Kyun-ha?“ Jinki asked, turning to face the confused girl again.
His voice all tinkly and friendly, but the sarcasm and irony in it was just as audible. Even a dumb person would get what Jinki was trying to do.
“Yes, he did. And what do you want to do about it?!”
Kyun-ha raised her voice and her eyes filled up with tears. Still the same tears he saw so many times...as many times as it took her to finally accept the fact that he cannot carry on with their relationship. He knew she was doing this in spite of him. Good for her, but not with Kim Kibum.
“Kyun-ha, I know you won't believe it, but I am telling you this because you really meant something, even though you refuse to believe it. Kibum will hurt you, just as I did.”
Kibum finally found his breath to talk back.
“Hyung! Would you just...leave us alone? I didn't tell you about Kyun-ha and I first, but that doesn't give you any right to be mean like this.”
Onew turned to him.
"You are not supposed to be with her. I know it, you know it and you,” He turned back at the girl, “you can just believe and accept it, or go through the hell and learn your lesson with another gallon of tears.”
The girl broke into tears and left the coffee shop quickly. Kibum didn't even try to run after her. He just sat there. Nostrils widened as he tried to breathe out the anger that was building inside.
“You know it Kibum. You are not supposed to be with her. Here, anywhere. Not on a date.” Jinki continued.
“And who am I supposed to be with?!“
Kibum looked at his older friend. Lips tightly locked when he wasn't speaking. He was obviously angry, but from the way his eyes almost pleaded to him... Jinki knew he couldn’t watch the young boy suffer all by himself anymore.
“Not her, not any other girl, Kibum. You don't need to do this. You don't!“ Jinki took Kibum's hand in his and squeezed it to show his support.
Key's eyes filled with tears but he blinked them away and took a deep breath. He does not cry in public like this. He does not cry because of his hardships. He loves life and he is too proud of what he achieved to cry over little hardships.
"What do you mean? Don't I deserve a love life as you have? Or Jonghyun, or Minho?” He twisted his hand out of Jinki's grip and avoided his look once again.
“Kibum-ah, I know. I know and you don't have to keep it all inside, hell you know we all love you too much to let something like this get in a way.” Jinki was trying to prove his point but also he couldn't raise his voice much because they were in public.
Kibum looked at Jinki and caught a single tear that escaped his eye before he managed to hold them back again.
“How'd you know?“
Jinki bit on his lip.
“I saw you with Nicole the other day; in our dorm. I came home sooner than the rest and saw you two getting dressed after...well it was kind of obvious what happened there. And you crying, Kibum. She was telling you that everything was ok, that it is ok. I … I mean we all already guessed, but that night I finally knew for sure.” Jinki finished talking and now it was his place to avoid Kibum's eyes.
Kibum quickly caught the new tears that found their way out of his abused eyes. Hell, did he remember that day. He asked Nicole for help. He asked her to come with him into bed, that he wanted to know if he is even capable of … well. It turned out that he was capable of being with a girl.
He remembers how he enjoyed the foreplay. Kissing, nibbling, biting...
The second he entered her though, something was wrong. The feeling was completely wrong. Yet, he didn't stop. He thrusted into her, in and out as a fucking machine until he came. He broke into tears immediately. Sitting up, rolling the condom down, he was sobbing quietly. She put his shirt on and sat next to him. Patting his naked back and saying that … that everything was ok. She was there until he calmed down a little and then he went to see her off to the subway station nearby.
When he got back to the dorm (after taking a “long-cut” taking his time thinking about what just happened and how it will affect his future life) the rest of the group was back.
He never knew though that the oldest member came, saw, and left again to give him privacy before.
This happened like half a year ago. Since then, he kept dating girls, just for the sake of feeling normal. Showing that he was normal. But showing normal to whom?
"Jinki hyung. Fighting some prejudice of this fucking stupid, rigid society is an honor. Someone has to do so. But not me; this is ... way too big for me."
Key hung his head and silently let the tears fall into his lap.
Jinki grabbed Kibum's hand and squeezed it for encouragement again.
This time, Kibum squeezed his hand back instead of refusing it like few minutes ago.
Two young unhappy men sat there, in a small coffee shop, in small country whose society seemed to grow bigger and stronger every time they tried to get just a tiny little step closer. A step to their needs, loves, and dreams.
pairing: none, ninja!Key/Nicol fwb
rating: PG-13
beta-read: a_life_defiant
requested by: mimi_oly
Jinki entered the coffee shop near their company. This shop was mostly used by SM company as it was close, and the owner made an agreement with the management. He ordered macchiato latte and then he spotted it.
It was Kibum sitting by the small table with … Kyun-ha. One of the dancers from Jinki's musical. Yong Kyun-ha was a girl that Jinki started to date few weeks ago, but had to let go of her not much later. He, Kyun-ha, Kibum, and Jonghyun once or twice met for karaoke. But he never knew... he never anticipated Kibum would keep meeting her after their break up. If it was Jonghyun, he'd consider letting it go but...
“Hello, what a … surprise.” He said bitterly and invited himself to their table.
The girl looked ashamed, and Kibum instantly looked pissed off.
“Jinki oppa, what are you...” the girl started but the older boy never let her finish.
“Well, this is our coffee shop. I go here daily. It's a place where SM Ent. people come, and we also take our dates here; which leaves the question…” He looked at Kibum, who was now gritting his teeth and his eyes were fixed on the table.
“Did Kibum bring you here as his date, Kyun-ha?“ Jinki asked, turning to face the confused girl again.
His voice all tinkly and friendly, but the sarcasm and irony in it was just as audible. Even a dumb person would get what Jinki was trying to do.
“Yes, he did. And what do you want to do about it?!”
Kyun-ha raised her voice and her eyes filled up with tears. Still the same tears he saw so many times...as many times as it took her to finally accept the fact that he cannot carry on with their relationship. He knew she was doing this in spite of him. Good for her, but not with Kim Kibum.
“Kyun-ha, I know you won't believe it, but I am telling you this because you really meant something, even though you refuse to believe it. Kibum will hurt you, just as I did.”
Kibum finally found his breath to talk back.
“Hyung! Would you just...leave us alone? I didn't tell you about Kyun-ha and I first, but that doesn't give you any right to be mean like this.”
Onew turned to him.
"You are not supposed to be with her. I know it, you know it and you,” He turned back at the girl, “you can just believe and accept it, or go through the hell and learn your lesson with another gallon of tears.”
The girl broke into tears and left the coffee shop quickly. Kibum didn't even try to run after her. He just sat there. Nostrils widened as he tried to breathe out the anger that was building inside.
“You know it Kibum. You are not supposed to be with her. Here, anywhere. Not on a date.” Jinki continued.
“And who am I supposed to be with?!“
Kibum looked at his older friend. Lips tightly locked when he wasn't speaking. He was obviously angry, but from the way his eyes almost pleaded to him... Jinki knew he couldn’t watch the young boy suffer all by himself anymore.
“Not her, not any other girl, Kibum. You don't need to do this. You don't!“ Jinki took Kibum's hand in his and squeezed it to show his support.
Key's eyes filled with tears but he blinked them away and took a deep breath. He does not cry in public like this. He does not cry because of his hardships. He loves life and he is too proud of what he achieved to cry over little hardships.
"What do you mean? Don't I deserve a love life as you have? Or Jonghyun, or Minho?” He twisted his hand out of Jinki's grip and avoided his look once again.
“Kibum-ah, I know. I know and you don't have to keep it all inside, hell you know we all love you too much to let something like this get in a way.” Jinki was trying to prove his point but also he couldn't raise his voice much because they were in public.
Kibum looked at Jinki and caught a single tear that escaped his eye before he managed to hold them back again.
“How'd you know?“
Jinki bit on his lip.
“I saw you with Nicole the other day; in our dorm. I came home sooner than the rest and saw you two getting dressed after...well it was kind of obvious what happened there. And you crying, Kibum. She was telling you that everything was ok, that it is ok. I … I mean we all already guessed, but that night I finally knew for sure.” Jinki finished talking and now it was his place to avoid Kibum's eyes.
Kibum quickly caught the new tears that found their way out of his abused eyes. Hell, did he remember that day. He asked Nicole for help. He asked her to come with him into bed, that he wanted to know if he is even capable of … well. It turned out that he was capable of being with a girl.
He remembers how he enjoyed the foreplay. Kissing, nibbling, biting...
The second he entered her though, something was wrong. The feeling was completely wrong. Yet, he didn't stop. He thrusted into her, in and out as a fucking machine until he came. He broke into tears immediately. Sitting up, rolling the condom down, he was sobbing quietly. She put his shirt on and sat next to him. Patting his naked back and saying that … that everything was ok. She was there until he calmed down a little and then he went to see her off to the subway station nearby.
When he got back to the dorm (after taking a “long-cut” taking his time thinking about what just happened and how it will affect his future life) the rest of the group was back.
He never knew though that the oldest member came, saw, and left again to give him privacy before.
This happened like half a year ago. Since then, he kept dating girls, just for the sake of feeling normal. Showing that he was normal. But showing normal to whom?
"Jinki hyung. Fighting some prejudice of this fucking stupid, rigid society is an honor. Someone has to do so. But not me; this is ... way too big for me."
Key hung his head and silently let the tears fall into his lap.
Jinki grabbed Kibum's hand and squeezed it for encouragement again.
This time, Kibum squeezed his hand back instead of refusing it like few minutes ago.
Two young unhappy men sat there, in a small coffee shop, in small country whose society seemed to grow bigger and stronger every time they tried to get just a tiny little step closer. A step to their needs, loves, and dreams.