Two Weeks In Hawaii [4a/14 + Epilogue]
Title: Two Weeks In Hawaii [4a/14 + Epilogue]
Author: ipanicdaily
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Pete (past), Gabe/Will, Nate/Alex
POV: 3rd; Ryan-centric.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone/anything other than the plot. The title belongs to the band Hellogoodbye.
Summary: “So can I get you anything?”
Brendon turned towards Ryan.
Of course Ryan’s mind had two different responses.
“No, I’m good.” he gave a small smile, the reasonable side of his brain winning. Brendon tried not to let his expression fall to the slight disappointment he felt, glancing between the screen of the television and Ryan; lips pressed firmly together to keep from drooling at the way the setting sun nearly made Ryan’s pale skin glow beautifully. He moved a little closer to Ryan who noticed but didn’t take his eyes off the television.
Anyone could sense the tension between the two.
Warning: Man/man, language, sex, angst; more to come probably.
Beta: lilrainforest
Author Notes: Divided into 2 parts due to length.
Past Parts: Prologue ♥ Day One ♥ Day Two ♥ Day Three
Day Four
A low groan rose from Ryan’s throat as he slowly regained his consciousness, his head and overall body aching with a dull throb no matter how he moved; or didn’t. There was a very quiet noise buzzing in Ryan’s ears, a melody of some sort, but he couldn’t make out exactly what it was. It sounded almost like a guitar. Ryan couldn’t be absolutely sure since the primary thing he heard was the beating of his heart in his head as though he had some incredible hangover. Ryan doesn’t really drink though; not since after he got incredibly wasted one night back in Vegas and Pete thought it would be funny to take advantage of Ryan’s inebriated state. He had gotten an expensive hotel room, trashed it, and paid hookers to stay in there so when Ryan woke up he thought he had slept with them. Pete accused Ryan of cheating on him, waiting until Ryan was practically in tears before telling him it was a joke.
No, Ryan really doesn’t drink anymore.
Ryan’s head felt incredibly weighted down and he managed to pry one eye open, his vision blurry which was typical when he first wakes up. After blinking a few times, the other eye opening in the process, Ryan’s vision cleared enough for him to lose the fuzzy haze around everything his eyes focused on; though he had no idea where he was. The ceiling was not the ceiling of the hotel where he had spent the past few nights staring himself to boredom but rather a nicer looking ceiling arching up into a point with a fan hanging down just over where Ryan lay, moving at a very leisurely pace just to keep the air circulating. It reminded Ryan of the cabin he was in for summer camp when he was younger.
The only thing Ryan remembered about the previous night was being on the beach and playing volleyball. That’s probably why his body ached; he should have stretched first. Little details such as stretching slipped his mind though as he was preoccupied with staring at the man across the sand from him. He couldn’t remember winning, or even losing for that matter, or what he did after. All he remembered was staring at Brendon and he hoped that he didn’t make a fool of himself because, well, Ryan has a tendency to speak before he thinks, often embarrassing him and everyone else around him.
Sitting up, Ryan became painfully aware of just how bad his body hurt; especially his head. It was killing him. He shut his eyes and placed his face in his hands, groaning once again into his palms this time because he had never had a headache so bad before. It felt as though something was being forced through his skull and into his brain, an unbelievable amount of pressure making his head feel reading to explode. Ryan couldn’t take it so he fell back against the what he assumed was a bed, the mattress comfortable and the blanket soft as he turned onto his side and pressed his face into it, trying to get back to that dull ache stage he awoke to. At the moment, his head temporarily consumed all the pain he had felt in the rest of his body.
There was a light, consistent pattern of little tapping noises drifting to Ryan, growing louder and closer. When they stopped there was a soft creaking noise that irritated Ryan all the same so he lifted his arm enough to let it rest over his ear, hoping that by at least muffling the noise that his headache would go away. “Ryan?” A hesitant yet recognizable voice entered the room, Ryan forcing an eye open again to see William standing a few feet away from him, half in the room and half outside, a concerned look on his face. “Hey; you’re finally awake.” he smiled, pushing open the door a little more to slide his entire body inside, dressed only a plain white v-neck with an unzipped purple hoodie and a pair of boxers. “How do you feel?” Bill asked as he walked to the bed and carefully sat down on the edge, barely moving Ryan to his relief.
“Like shit.” Ryan spoke into the blanket beneath him. Will made a very soft laughing noise, pushing his hair from his face. “Wha’ ‘appened?”
“Well…” William exhaled a bit dramatically and looked at his hands which were playing with the ends of the hoodie he wore; even if it really wasn’t all that cold. “You and Brendon were playing volleyball, it was four-four, which is completely amazing, by the way; you really have talent to have kept up with him.” Ryan shut his eye again. “Brendon ended up hitting the ball really hard and it went flying your face and kinda…took you out…” he quietly spoke, almost as though he was afraid to say it out loud. “I mean, you won, because the ball bounced off your face and over the net again but you were out cold and it was kind of freaky.”
“Wonderful,” he mumbled into the blanket he was contemplating stealing just because it was so soft and nice feeling. At least he knew why he couldn’t remember much of anything from the previous night and why his head hurt so much. He was afraid to see what his face looked like though; no doubt having bruising of some sort if the ball hit him hard enough to knock him out.
“We were going to take you to the hospital but Spencer said you would be fine; once we determined you weren’t dead.” A small smile came over Will’s lips as he thought about the nice argument they all had around Ryan’s unconscious body. “Brendon ended up having a panic attack, rather convinced he killed you no matter what anyone said. We just brought you back to the house and to Brendon’s bed, which you’re currently on, and have just been waiting for you to wake up; well, hoping you would at least.”
“Good to know I’m not dead.” Ryan sighed, relieved that the pressure was starting to disappear, freeing his head from some of its pain. “S’Brendon okay?” he asked, strangely not mad at the boy for impaling him with a volleyball.
“Yeah; I eventually got him to calm down.” Bill smiled a bit more, watching as Ryan moved onto his back, eyes still shut, rubbing his head with one hand. “He sat in here for a few hours before I told him to go to sleep and that you would be fine. He ended up just going downstairs and playing around with his guitar which he’s been doing ever since. I’m amazed he hasn’t just passed out.”
“How long have I been out?” Ryan asked, a bit afraid of the answer.
“A good fourteen hours.” he answered, looking at the alarm clock beside the top of Brendon’s bed. “It was around eight when we brought you here and now it’s a little after ten. Everyone else ended up passing out all over the living room by four so I’m sure they’ll be out a bit longer unless disturbed.” Ryan hummed quietly, not all that concerned with anyone else at the moment. “Need anything?”
“Morphine,” he said groggily, ready to fall asleep again.
“Well I don’t think we have any of that.” Bill laughed a bit, hugging himself lightly in the hoodie he had taken from Gabe before he left; missing the older man a lot but loving being around his best friend again. “But I know there’s Tylenol or something in this house. God knows how many people crash here with hangovers.” Ryan exhaled loudly and opened his eyes again, pushing his body into a sitting position, waiting for his head to stop spinning before moving again. “You might want to lie down a bit longer.” William suggested with a frown, reaching his arm out and placing his hand on Ryan’s shoulders as Ryan looked ready to fall over again.
“I’m fine,” Ryan said, twisting his shoulder so Will’s hand fell off him. “Where’s Brendon?”
“He’s downstairs in the studio still playing that guitar.” William answered, still frowning as he carefully watched Ryan. He was amazed that there wasn’t even a mark on Ryan’s face from the ball; the noise of the object colliding with his face echoing over the music that was pumping from the speakers on the beach. “Want me to go get him?” he asked, trying not to smile at the thought that Ryan requested Brendon; having had it with Ryan trying to deny his attraction.
“No.” Ryan shook his head, whining softly as he regretted doing so since it brought the pain back. “I can…go down there…” he mumbled, grabbing his head again to hold it steady until it settled. “If I remember where it is.”
“I really think you should lie back down,” Will said as Ryan slid off the bed, his free hand pressing into the mattress for support so he wouldn’t fall down. “I’m sure whenever Alex gets up that he’ll end up cooking something. Alex’s an amazing cook.”
“I don’t plan on staying long, thank you,” Ryan said as he stood straight, taking a deep breath and focusing on exhaling his pain away while keeping his balance. He really did feel like he had a massive hangover or something along those lines. “I just want to thank Brendon and then find a way to get back to the hotel to sleep the next week ‘n a half away.” Ryan opened his eyes completely.
“You know, Spencer and Jon are downstairs.” Bill told Ryan as he started towards the door, wobbling a little along the way and sticking his arm out to grab the door frame for support. “Seriously, Ryan. You’re going to fall down or something…” William got off the bed to go help Ryan to make sure he didn’t fall down and hit his head anymore.
“I will when I get back to the hotel.” Ryan answered a little bitterly, tired of everyone worrying so much about him. He was fine; his head just hurt and he was slightly dizzy. You try getting impaled in the face and rendered unconscious by a volleyball at roughly 20 mph. You’d be a little off center too.
“Fine.” Will sighed as he slid off the bed as well, following Ryan out of the room towards the stairs. Ryan was completely blind to the pink furniture he passed as he found the stairs, glancing quickly towards a hall which was lined with doors. He had a sense of curiosity that made him wonder what was behind each of the closed doors but Ryan just dismissed the curiosity, figuring they were probably bedrooms and a bathroom or two, grabbing a hold of the golden railing. “Don’t fall,” Bill said as he passed Ryan to head towards the door at the end on the left, disappearing behind it.
Ryan sneered in Will’s general direction, blinking his eyes to ensure clear vision then stepping down onto the first step of the twisting staircase from the second floor to the first. He had to hold tightly onto the railing, his head still spinning a little, walking slowly down the steps and following them around. The light melody Ryan had heard earlier was growing louder, the instrument most definitely being a guitar; no doubt Brendon’s. Ryan stood on the tile at the bottom of the stairs and straightened his clothes, dragging his fingers along the wall as he followed the noise to find Brendon. He walked down the hall, recalling the path from when he had been there a couple of days before.
When he got to the end, the heavy door was cracked open, the music flowing smoothly through the opening. Ryan inhaled deeply and slowly released it before placing his hand against the door and pushing it open enough to look inside. Brendon was sitting on a bar stool, bent over his guitar with a tired but determined look on his face as he plucked away at the strings of the guitar resting in his lap. “That’s really nice.” Ryan quietly spoke, Brendon’s head snapping up and face quickly taking on a worried but relieved look as he set the instrument down and jumped from the stool, throwing his arms around Ryan and causing Ryan to stumble back from the sudden force.
“I’m so sorry!” Brendon said, sounding ready to cry as he nearly suffocated the man in his arms. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Ryan said breathlessly, Brendon slightly crushing his body. The only good thing about being up so tight against Brendon was that Ryan could feel Brendon’s nice muscles against his own body and that was totally worth temporarily suffocating over. “Just…headache…” he told Brendon, letting his body be crushed a moment longer before moving his arms enough to try and push Brendon away enough to allow oxygen to flow easily in and out of his body.
“Do you need anything? Like Tylenol or an ice pack or whatever else?” Brendon pulled away and looked at Ryan with his eyes wide, the chocolaty brown color shimmering with regret in the light above him. “And if you need to go to the hospital or something I’ll pay for anything you need.” Ryan couldn’t contain a small smile, leaning back against the wall.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with dismissal. “It’s just a headache, Bren.” Brendon seemed to perk up a little at the nickname as it slipped Ryan’s lips unintentionally. It’s not like he doesn’t hear it every day; William most always calling him ‘Bren’ or ‘B’. But hearing it come from Ryan, slipping between his luscious lips in that silky voice just made it sound like more than a name. “The only thing I can think of that I need is a ride back to the hotel so I can spend the day in bed.”
“You can stay here, if you want.” Brendon offered a little hesitantly. “I mean, you’re more than welcome to lie back down on my bed or whatever. When everyone wakes up they’ll probably leave so it’ll be quiet. And William is hanging out with Nate and Alex so I’ll be the only one here; unless you don’t want me to or something.” he spit out, almost in one constant stream, to Ryan; traces of desperation in his voice. Ryan just figured it was because Brendon felt bad about the previous night.
“I don’t mind going back to the hotel, Brendon.” Ryan held onto his arm, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t like Brendon’s pout; it made him feel sad too. “Plus, Will said you were up all night. You need sleep too.”
“I can sleep on the couch.” Brendon shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Sleep in your bed.” Ryan’s voice got a little stricter, his head rising to look at Brendon but avoid direct eye contact. “We had quite a workout last night; my own body is still protesting against me.” Brendon’s face softened and he smiled.
“That’s because you didn’t stretch,” he said playfully, sliding his hands in the pockets of yesterday's shorts which were still on his body. He hadn’t made it to the shower yet; trying not to freak out again about nearly killing Ryan. “But hey; you won.”
“So I’ve been told.” Ryan gave a little nod, just enough to express the motion but not get a headache again. “I don’t think it was entirely fair, though.”
“Well the ball only bounced on your side once then came back over the net where I failed to hit it so it was completely fair.” Brendon purposely avoided saying that Ryan’s face was what successfully returned the ball. “You won, Ryan. And you definitely put up one hell of a fight. I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted.” he smiled, sticking his hand out in ‘good sportsmanship’. Ryan looked at Brendon’s hand for a moment before giving in, trying not to over think the action because there is no reason for him to feel awkward or nervous or anything else about touching Brendon. It was just a friendly gesture.
Ryan put his hand in Brendon’s and allowed it to be moved up and down, Brendon yawning as he let go. “Go to sleep, Brendon, before you pass out,” Ryan said a little firmly, leaning back against the wall again.
“I’m not tired,” Brendon said, yawning once again but trying to hide it. Ryan lifted an eyebrow with that ‘yeah fucking right’ kind of look, Brendon’s face adapting his signature pout. “I feel shitty about nearly killing you last night and I want to make it up to you.”
“You didn’t almost kill me,” Ryan said. “You just gave me one fucking hell of a headache.” he tried to tease, fortunately not upsetting Brendon as the younger man’s face softened some with amusement. “So there’s nothing to make up.”
“Okay so maybe I just like hanging out with you.” Brendon tried, his pout being exchanged for a grin; almost a smirk. “If I’m asleep we can’t hang out. And I know you don’t really like me but-“
“I never said I don’t like you.” Ryan cut him off with a frown, Brendon’s smile growing a fraction more. “I don’t really like anyone.”
“But I like you in a completely ‘lets grab some beers and watch football’ kind of way; not that I really like beer or football. I like red bull more.” Brendon slightly rambled, Ryan feeling his face get warmer. It annoyed him how much Brendon refused to give up because it was making it very difficult for Ryan to stay strong against him. It’s not that Ryan doesn’t want to hang out with Brendon and be his friend or anything, it’s that he just likes being on his own to a certain extent; especially when he’s depressed such as his current state is. Ryan knows he needs to move on and forget about Pete; but fantasizing over Brendon isn’t how he supposed to go about it. And Ryan’s really only fantasizing about Brendon’s body, which is rather conceded and rude or disrespectful or whatever other word you come up with while he stares.
“How about I go back to the hotel and lay down while you stay here and get some sleep then later this afternoon we can hang out again.” Brendon went back to frowning.
“Why can’t you stay here? I have a guest room somewhere upstairs…” his eyes looked to Ryan with some pleading.
“Because I need to shower and my clothes are at the hotel and your house is already holding a bunch of passed out people.” Ryan answered with his usual hinted bitter tone. Brendon opened his mouth again but Ryan cut him off before anything could come out. “The only way you’re going to get proper sleep is if you do it in your own bed.” He didn’t exactly know if that was true or not but he didn’t want to stay there any longer; really needing a shower and fresh clothes which were at the hotel.
“I rarely sleep in my bed,” Brendon mumbled to himself, acting similar to a disappointed kid. Ryan strangely liked that. “If I agree to this,” Ryan scoffed because it’s not like Brendon could keep him there, he hoped, “Will you agree to go on my boat with me later?”
“I told you I don’t like water.” Ryan half scowled.
“Well you’re on an island which, by definition, is a piece of land completely surrounded by a body of water. So, if nothing else, by the time you leave, you’re going to love water.” Brendon grinned almost stupidly. “And I promised you that I would give you a brief tour of the island via my boat which is really pretty.”
“You promised Spencer a boat tour; not me.” Ryan tried and Brendon rolled his eyes, exhaling a puff of air.
“Details are irrelevant. What matters is that I promised a tour and when I make a promise I intend to keep it unless I become like physically incapacitated or some other big word.” A noise along the lines of a grunt escaped Ryan’s throat at the statement because Brendon just had this ridiculous charm that Ryan wish he could strangle out of the boy. It was almost damn near impossible for Ryan to dislike Brendon and that frustrated him. No one was supposed to be that damn perfect; especially not to him.
“I’m sure I’ll get sea sick,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest so his shoulders pressed back against the wall; his head barely a dull throb again to his relief.
“The beauty of it is that there’s plenty of sea for you to be sick in.” Ryan bit his lip to keep silent. “Come on, Ryan; there’s plenty of safety gear and a deck where you can relax and the boat doesn’t really rock all that much and the wind-“
“Okay!” Ryan loudly exclaimed. “If I say we can go on your boat, will you stop talking?” he asked, not wanting to sound rude per say but having enough of a headache that noise of any sort for prolonged periods of time made it his head hurt again.
“May-be,” Brendon said with a childish tone, still grinning madly. Ryan rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, playfully shoving Brendon while barely removing himself from the wall. “So will you do it?”
“I s’pose.” Ryan sighed, rubbing his face. “Now go to bed.” He stepped away from the wall to turn and point out of the room towards the stairs he had come from. “That’s the deal; you go to bed, I go to the hotel.”
“Fine.” Brendon sighed, scowling playfully at Ryan. “I’ll find William to give you a ride.” He sulked from the room, Ryan following and tugging on the heavy door to shut, turning to head towards the living room as he heard Brendon stomp up the stairs; dramatically. Brendon was in a way like Pete; making things all about him and being rather dramatic. Only, Brendon was a lot better than Pete in all ways possible; even if Ryan only knew him a few days. Brendon was unbelievably perfect. “See you at three, Ross!” Brendon called from the second floor while Ryan somehow managed to find his way to the kitchen to find the two men Brendon had been talking to the previous night; one sitting at the counter and the other having half of Brendon’s fridge on the counter.
Ryan slowly walked into the kitchen, debating finding another way out because he doesn’t do well around strangers. The one cooking looked up and caught his attention before Ryan could slip away though, smiling at him and wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Hey Ryan; how are you feeling?” he asked, walking around the counter towards Ryan while the other man turned his head. Ryan stayed a little distant though because he didn’t know the man who apparently knows him; from the game of course. “Oh yeah, right; sorry.” The man laughed, extending a hand. “I’m Alex, and this is my boyfriend Nate.” He used his head to nod towards the other man who gave Ryan a small wave, looking half asleep. “We’re Bill and B’s friends.”
“I gathered.” Ryan nodded, lightly shaking Alex’s hand. “I was uh, just leaving. So…nice meeting you,” Ryan said nervously.
“Want some breakfast?” Alex asked, eyebrows pulling together as he walked back around the counter to keep whatever was in the frying pan from burning. “I’m a chef so I promise nothing is poisoned.”
“I haven’t died yet,” Nate said with a smile, still looking at Ryan. “And it actually tastes half decent.”
“Shut your mouth.” Alex threw the towel at his boyfriend, sticking his tongue out playfully. “Please, Ryan, have a seat and I’ll make you breakfast. It’s no big deal or anything. I always tear apart Brendon’s kitchen when I’m here.”
“You make enough of a mess in our own,” Nate mumbled while setting the towel aside.
“I sort of made a promise-“
“Sit.” Nate basically commanded, Ryan about to say something else before shutting his mouth and walking to the empty chair beside the man, placing his hands in his lap and watching Alex on the other side. “So, what brings you to Hawaii?” Nate asked, reaching over the counter and grabbing a strawberry, Alex slapping his hand as Nate smirked happily and sat down with his treasure.
“Spencer,” Ryan said, looking down at the counter because if only knowing them for a lousy five minutes, he could tell the two really loved each other; and he was jealous. Ryan wanted that with someone. He wanted what Nate and Alex had; what Jon and Spencer had even. “Spencer thought it’d be good to get away from Vegas for a bit.” Ryan left out the specifics; they didn’t need to know.
“That’s cool,” Alex said, flipping what Ryan decided was a piece of bread over in the pan; the one side already a nice golden brown color. It smelt good, that was for sure. “Vegas is pretty neat. I spent a year there studying the culinary arts. I know that Bill really likes it there.” He grabbed a bag of shredded cheese and sprinkled some over the bread.
“Likes it where?” William asked as he strolled into the kitchen, his long legs allowing him to move in strides so that he really didn’t need to put much effort into moving his body from one spot to the next. Nate’s eyebrows rose up a little with amusement, the corners of his mouth curved with a smirk but he remained silent. “I see you’ve met the most disgustingly perfect couple.” Bill teased as he sat down on the barstool next to Ryan, supporting himself on his elbow on the counter. Alex laughed and stirred the pan of eggs which were mixed with a variety of different things, leaving a little on the spoon which he extended out to Nate to try. “See? It’s disgusting!” William gestured towards the two with a disgusted look, Ryan smiling to hide the jealousy of watching them fit so perfectly together.
“As if you don’t act the same way with Gabe.” Alex rolled his eyes, going to attend to some other part of his grand array of food while Nate downed some of the juice resting in front of him. “That’s disgusting.” Alex looked to Ryan.
“So are you staying with the love birds or going home like you told Brendon?” William asked Ryan, ignoring Alex’s comment.
“Uh…” Ryan looked at Alex apologetically. “I…it looks good but…I…I told Brendon I was going back to the hotel and we made a deal…” he played with his hands nervously.
“It’s okay.” Alex gave Ryan a friendly smile. “You’re here for almost two weeks, right?” Ryan gave a few short nods. “Well I’ll get something down you before you leave.” he teased, moving around the kitchen so perfectly.
“It was nice meeting you.” Ryan looked from Alex to Nate, his gut twisting and trying not to notice the way their eyes had an identical sparkle or how both their faces had the looks of pure happiness written all over them.
“See you around,” Nate said, giving Ryan a small wave again as Ryan slid off the stool.
“Bye, Ryan,” Alex said after his boyfriend, giving a small wave of his own as Ryan walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room; bodies laying all over the place. He heard soft talking coming from the kitchen as Ryan stepped as quietly over the sleeping people as he could, sighing as he spotted his friends curled up together in front of the large window; Spencer using Jon as a pillow and both in a tangle of limbs.
Ryan went to them and shook his head at the two, as sickening as Nate and Alex in their own way, before kicking Spencer until his best friend began to whine and stir from his sleep. “Get up, Spencer; we’re leaving.”
“Ryan?” Spencer sleepily asked, releasing Jon’s sleeping form to lay on his back and looking up with half lidded eyes.
“No, it’s fucking Santa Clause.” Ryan sarcastically answered, rolling his eyes. “Come on; William’s going to give us a ride back to the hotel.” He kicked Spencer again. “Wake Jon up.”
“I told Brendon you weren’t dead,” Spencer grumbled, forcing himself to a sitting position and yawning. “It was fucking hilarious though.” He laughed lightly, looking up at Ryan with a smirk. Ryan scowled and kicked Spencer a third time; harder than before. “Ow; stop that, Ryan!” Spencer frowned as he rubbed his leg.
“Just get Jon up so we can leave,” Ryan said, arms crossed over his chest as he stepped back over the sleeping bodies towards the door. Spencer shook Jon awake before standing up to follow Ryan, yawning more and stretching his arms out, slightly stiff from sleeping half on his boyfriend and half on the wooden floor. William emerged from the kitchen, twirling a ring of keys around his finger and stepping over everyone as though they weren’t even there. He smiled at Spencer and Jon as they headed for the door where Ryan was already waiting with his usual annoyed look on his face.
“Oh, hey Ryan.” Jon lazily greeted his friend before yawning. “How’s your face?” Spencer smiled even though Jon meant it seriously.
“Fabulous.” Ryan half snapped. “Can we go now? I want to go back to sleep.”
“Brendon offered his bed.” Bill smiled while unlocking then opening the door, a burst of warm air suddenly flooding in. Spencer looked at Ryan with a raised eyebrow as though to ask ‘oh really?’. Ryan just turned away from Spencer and pushed the screen door open to head outside instead of giving him an answer of any sort. He knew that Spencer would only harass him about it. “And I told you to lie back down earlier but you wouldn’t listen.” Will called after him, politely holding the door open for the other two.
“Which vehicle?” Ryan asked, ignoring William’s words as well.
“Uh…” Will looked at the keys in his hand. “Car,” he said after figuring out exactly what keys he held. Ryan headed for the small compact vehicle, glad not to have the wind pounding on his face from the metal deathtrap instead. Bill unlocked it and Ryan slid into the passenger seat while Jon and Spencer took the back, settling against the seat and pulling his seatbelt on. “You know he’s sad you’re not staying longer,” Bill said while getting into the car and shoving the key in the ignition.
“He needs sleep.” Ryan answered with a small shrug. “I need a shower and clean clothes.”
“As if you couldn’t fit into anything he owns.” Spencer spoke under his breath from the back but still loud enough for Ryan to hear. Ryan pretended not to hear though. He had every right to go back to the hotel to get his own clothes.
“I told you he likes you.” William smiled as he backed up. “And I told you that you like him.”
“Not like that.” Ryan answered, knowing full well that he was lying which meant everyone else could tell too.
“Then why’d you agree to come back later?” Bill asked with a small smirk.
“We’re coming back later?” Spencer asked with more curiosity than harassment of Ryan.
“Brendon wants to give us a tour on his boat,” Ryan said dryly. “It was the only way I could get him to go to sleep and let me go back to the hotel for a few hours.”
“Awesome.” Spencer cheerfully smiled, having wanted to see the island for awhile. That’s mainly why he chose to cash in Ryan’s honeymoon tickets to Hawaii. Sure, he wanted to help Ryan get over his disastrous relationship, but you can’t blame Spencer for having his own intentions too. He’s always wanted to go to Hawaii; especially with Jon.
“Unfortunately, I’ll be hanging with Alex and Nate for the day so you guys are all on your own.” Bill gave a light sigh, still smiling.
“How tragic.” Ryan sarcastically answered, shutting his eyes and leaning against the window, enjoying the blow of cool air coming from the cars air conditioner. As soon as he shut his eyes he saw Brendon’s smiling face which had been on his subconscious for some time; and he didn’t really care.
~+~+~+~+~+~
Ryan stepped out of the warmth of his bathroom which was filled with relaxing steam from his shower, making sure everything was covered just in case Jon and Spencer decided to come in again. His bed was empty though, to his relief, and Ryan went to fall down on it to relax; only his towel around his waist. The sound of the waves and distant laughing came in through Ryan’s window, allowing him to drift off until his phone suddenly began to ring and disturb his peace. Ryan groaned and sat back up, reaching over to the small nightstand next to his bed to grab the device.
He froze as soon as he looked at the screen.
“H-hello?” Ryan flipped the phone open to answer it, no matter how much his gut was telling him not to.
“Hey, Ryan.” Pete’s ever-smooth voice flowed through the speaker, making Ryan wince.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asked, an overwhelming wave of anger nearly drowning him.
“I just wanted to see how you are,” Pete said with that fake sense of care Ryan once grasped for.
“You have no right to care about me, Pete!” Ryan snapped at him, trying not to get too loud so his friends wouldn’t hear next door. The last thing he wanted was Spencer getting upset with him for talking to Pete; probably breaking Ryan’s phone should he still find him talking to Pete. “You left me, remember? You gave up any right you had to care about me that night.”
“I panicked, Ryan!” Pete was trying to make Ryan forgive him like he always did whenever he fucked thing up; and Ryan always would. But something was stopping him this time. Ryan didn’t know what it was; maybe the distance, maybe balls, or maybe even Brendon. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.” he quietly spoke.
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Ryan sneered back. “I fucking lost it, you know. For a week, a fucking week, Pete, I couldn’t leave my bed. I wasn’t eating, I destroyed half the apartment, and I cried so much I could have drown myself.” Everything he had pent up for Pete was suddenly coming out. And Ryan hadn’t felt better. “Spencer basically had to break in to check on me because I refused to get up and open the door myself.”
“Ryan…” Pete actually sounded upset, something foreign to Ryan’s ears, and it made Ryan smile. Not big, but a little, dark smile. “I…I didn’t mean to do that…”
“Yes, you did, Wentz. Don’t fucking deny it!” Ryan shot back. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have ever agreed to marry me since you don’t love me. You shouldn’t have fucking lied to me like that! I loved you, Pete! You were just fucking using me!”
“I never used you, Ryan!” Pete desperately spoke back. “And I do love you! I’ve always loved you!” Ryan couldn’t help but laugh dryly, rolling his eyes. “I panicked about marrying you because I was afraid! I never thought I would be married, tied down like that, but when you asked I didn’t know how to tell you I felt that way.”
“Stop fucking lying to me, Pete!” Ryan did yell that time. “You don’t mean a single fucking word of that and we both know it! Why are you even calling me? You have Patrick to use now! Can’t you leave me the fuck alone?!” Ryan suddenly found himself wanting to just break down and cry. It’s impossible to get over someone when they can’t even leave you alone.
“Ryan, stop acting this way!” Pete’s voice grew as well. “I do love you! And I love Patrick too!”
“That’s not how it works!” Ryan felt a warm tear trail down his face. He was losing the battle against himself not to cry. “You can’t do that to me or to Patrick, for that matter! So since you’ve already fucked things up with me, leave me the fuck alone!”
“Ryan, baby-“
“Don’t call me that!” Ryan’s voice was so angry and upset that it was heavy in his throat. “Don’t ever fucking call me that!” Tears started trialing one by one from each of his eyes. “Better yet, don’t ever fucking call me again! “
“Ryan-“ Pete started but Ryan snapped his phone shut and threw it, wiping his eyes and falling back against the bed. His head started hurting again from getting worked up and he just couldn’t take it any more. Ryan was just starting to get over Pete for good but the asshole had to ruin that as well. He’s already fucked up so much of Ryan’s life; and Ryan.
“Ryan?” Spencer knocked on the door to his room, voice concerned. “Ryan, are you okay?” Ryan didn’t answer though. He just turned over so he was on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow to silence himself. “Ryan?” Spencer tried again, voice a little louder. “You know I’ll come in there, Ross.”
“G-go away, Spencer!” Ryan yelled into the pillow angrily. He didn’t want to deal with him right now.
“Ryan, why were you yelling?” Spencer asked, doing what all good friends do by not giving up easily. “And why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying!” Ryan of course lied, breathing all uneven and voice choppy.
“So are you letting me in or am I using the nifty little spare key I had the desk give me?” Spencer asked, Ryan scowling into the pillow. That’s how he and Jon had gotten in. He should have known, really. Ryan didn’t move though. He heard the door opening a moment later as Spencer came in. “First of all, you need clothes on,” Spencer said. “Second, why were you yelling and now crying?”
“Just leave me alone.” Ryan choked into the pillow. He wasn’t even concerned with being half naked.
“Right; because I’m really going to turn around and leave again just because you told me to.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “Is there a reason your phone is all the way over here?” he asked, noticing the cell on the floor.
“Because I fucking want it there!” Ryan was back to yelling, Spencer instantly knowing it had something to do with Ryan’s sudden mood change. “Don’t touch it, Spencer!” he snapped as he turned his head to look at his friend through blurry eyes, noticing Spencer bend down to pick it up. “Spencer!”
“Come stop me.” Spencer replied, flipping Ryan’s phone open and going to his call history. His blood began to boil as he saw the most recent call. “You fucking answered it?!” he nearly yelled back at Ryan with anger. “What the fuck, Ryan?!”
“I told you to leave it!” Ryan buried his face back in the pillow, his attempt to hide from Spencer.
“What’d he do? Try to get you to come back to him so he could treat you like a whore again?!” Ryan shuttered at the word. Spencer had never called him a whore; that was always his dad’s word for him. “God, you’re fucking stupid sometimes, Ryan.” Spencer exhaled frustration, pressing the green phone button to call Pete back and settle this for good.
“Spencer! Don’t!” Ryan could hear the quiet ringing coming from his phone. His face was absolutely pleading but Spencer just turned around, phone still pressed against his ear.
“Ryan?” Pete picked up, sounding almost desperate.
“No, you disgusting, sad excuse for a human being!” Spencer replied in a near snarl. “Ryan’s busy crying his fucking eyes out behind me once again over you.”
“Spencer!” Ryan’s voice was as pleading as his face now. He hated Pete; but he didn’t want Spencer to chew him out either. Part of Ryan told him that Pete didn’t deserve that, no matter how much the man really did. Spencer continued to ignore him.
“You better listen well, Wentz. I swear to fucking god if you call or attempt to have any contact with Ryan ever again, I will drag you from the back of my car by your dick over the rockiest road I can find until it comes off; got it?!”
“I-“
“Good!” Spencer shut Ryan’s phone again, ending the call. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise, taking a few deep breaths before going to the bed where Ryan had his face pushing into the pillow again. “Ryan, why do you do this to yourself?” he asked, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on Ryan’s bare back, right between his shoulders. “You know you’re not over him, yet. Why would you answer the phone and let him do this to you?”
“I…I don’t know…” Ryan mumbled, inaudible to everyone who didn’t know him as well as Spencer did. “I just…some hope…”
“Ryan, Pete will never think of you the way you think of him. He’ll never love you because he’s not capable of love, okay? Pete is that type of person who just uses people until they can’t be used anymore than moves on. You’re finally away from that and you don’t need to go back.” Spencer spoke calmly to Ryan, rubbing slow circles on his back to try and calm him. “Do you want me to call Will and have him tell Brendon today probably won’t work?”
“No!” Ryan quickly spoke, lifting his head from the pillow and shaking it. “I…I’ll be fine…” Spencer smiled again. It was clear that Ryan liked Brendon. “I just need a few minutes to calm down…” he coughed a bit.
“Well you have about three hours to calm down,” Spencer said, looking at the clock on the wall. “Don’t forget clothes.” He patted Ryan’s back as the older man settled against the mattress again. “And get Pete’s number blocked from your phone too.” Spencer stood and walked to the door, taking Ryan’s phone with him just in case.
Ryan got himself to calm down as he lay against the bed, glad to be alone again. He clutched the pillow, curling his body up some on the bed, and shut his eyes. He smiled as he drifted off to a light sleep, imagining Brendon laying right there with him to make him feel better.
Part Two
Author: ipanicdaily
Pairing: Ryan/Brendon, Spencer/Jon, Ryan/Pete (past), Gabe/Will, Nate/Alex
POV: 3rd; Ryan-centric.
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don't own anyone/anything other than the plot. The title belongs to the band Hellogoodbye.
Summary: “So can I get you anything?”
Brendon turned towards Ryan.
Of course Ryan’s mind had two different responses.
“No, I’m good.” he gave a small smile, the reasonable side of his brain winning. Brendon tried not to let his expression fall to the slight disappointment he felt, glancing between the screen of the television and Ryan; lips pressed firmly together to keep from drooling at the way the setting sun nearly made Ryan’s pale skin glow beautifully. He moved a little closer to Ryan who noticed but didn’t take his eyes off the television.
Anyone could sense the tension between the two.
Warning: Man/man, language, sex, angst; more to come probably.
Beta: lilrainforest
Author Notes: Divided into 2 parts due to length.
Past Parts: Prologue ♥ Day One ♥ Day Two ♥ Day Three
Day Four
A low groan rose from Ryan’s throat as he slowly regained his consciousness, his head and overall body aching with a dull throb no matter how he moved; or didn’t. There was a very quiet noise buzzing in Ryan’s ears, a melody of some sort, but he couldn’t make out exactly what it was. It sounded almost like a guitar. Ryan couldn’t be absolutely sure since the primary thing he heard was the beating of his heart in his head as though he had some incredible hangover. Ryan doesn’t really drink though; not since after he got incredibly wasted one night back in Vegas and Pete thought it would be funny to take advantage of Ryan’s inebriated state. He had gotten an expensive hotel room, trashed it, and paid hookers to stay in there so when Ryan woke up he thought he had slept with them. Pete accused Ryan of cheating on him, waiting until Ryan was practically in tears before telling him it was a joke.
No, Ryan really doesn’t drink anymore.
Ryan’s head felt incredibly weighted down and he managed to pry one eye open, his vision blurry which was typical when he first wakes up. After blinking a few times, the other eye opening in the process, Ryan’s vision cleared enough for him to lose the fuzzy haze around everything his eyes focused on; though he had no idea where he was. The ceiling was not the ceiling of the hotel where he had spent the past few nights staring himself to boredom but rather a nicer looking ceiling arching up into a point with a fan hanging down just over where Ryan lay, moving at a very leisurely pace just to keep the air circulating. It reminded Ryan of the cabin he was in for summer camp when he was younger.
The only thing Ryan remembered about the previous night was being on the beach and playing volleyball. That’s probably why his body ached; he should have stretched first. Little details such as stretching slipped his mind though as he was preoccupied with staring at the man across the sand from him. He couldn’t remember winning, or even losing for that matter, or what he did after. All he remembered was staring at Brendon and he hoped that he didn’t make a fool of himself because, well, Ryan has a tendency to speak before he thinks, often embarrassing him and everyone else around him.
Sitting up, Ryan became painfully aware of just how bad his body hurt; especially his head. It was killing him. He shut his eyes and placed his face in his hands, groaning once again into his palms this time because he had never had a headache so bad before. It felt as though something was being forced through his skull and into his brain, an unbelievable amount of pressure making his head feel reading to explode. Ryan couldn’t take it so he fell back against the what he assumed was a bed, the mattress comfortable and the blanket soft as he turned onto his side and pressed his face into it, trying to get back to that dull ache stage he awoke to. At the moment, his head temporarily consumed all the pain he had felt in the rest of his body.
There was a light, consistent pattern of little tapping noises drifting to Ryan, growing louder and closer. When they stopped there was a soft creaking noise that irritated Ryan all the same so he lifted his arm enough to let it rest over his ear, hoping that by at least muffling the noise that his headache would go away. “Ryan?” A hesitant yet recognizable voice entered the room, Ryan forcing an eye open again to see William standing a few feet away from him, half in the room and half outside, a concerned look on his face. “Hey; you’re finally awake.” he smiled, pushing open the door a little more to slide his entire body inside, dressed only a plain white v-neck with an unzipped purple hoodie and a pair of boxers. “How do you feel?” Bill asked as he walked to the bed and carefully sat down on the edge, barely moving Ryan to his relief.
“Like shit.” Ryan spoke into the blanket beneath him. Will made a very soft laughing noise, pushing his hair from his face. “Wha’ ‘appened?”
“Well…” William exhaled a bit dramatically and looked at his hands which were playing with the ends of the hoodie he wore; even if it really wasn’t all that cold. “You and Brendon were playing volleyball, it was four-four, which is completely amazing, by the way; you really have talent to have kept up with him.” Ryan shut his eye again. “Brendon ended up hitting the ball really hard and it went flying your face and kinda…took you out…” he quietly spoke, almost as though he was afraid to say it out loud. “I mean, you won, because the ball bounced off your face and over the net again but you were out cold and it was kind of freaky.”
“Wonderful,” he mumbled into the blanket he was contemplating stealing just because it was so soft and nice feeling. At least he knew why he couldn’t remember much of anything from the previous night and why his head hurt so much. He was afraid to see what his face looked like though; no doubt having bruising of some sort if the ball hit him hard enough to knock him out.
“We were going to take you to the hospital but Spencer said you would be fine; once we determined you weren’t dead.” A small smile came over Will’s lips as he thought about the nice argument they all had around Ryan’s unconscious body. “Brendon ended up having a panic attack, rather convinced he killed you no matter what anyone said. We just brought you back to the house and to Brendon’s bed, which you’re currently on, and have just been waiting for you to wake up; well, hoping you would at least.”
“Good to know I’m not dead.” Ryan sighed, relieved that the pressure was starting to disappear, freeing his head from some of its pain. “S’Brendon okay?” he asked, strangely not mad at the boy for impaling him with a volleyball.
“Yeah; I eventually got him to calm down.” Bill smiled a bit more, watching as Ryan moved onto his back, eyes still shut, rubbing his head with one hand. “He sat in here for a few hours before I told him to go to sleep and that you would be fine. He ended up just going downstairs and playing around with his guitar which he’s been doing ever since. I’m amazed he hasn’t just passed out.”
“How long have I been out?” Ryan asked, a bit afraid of the answer.
“A good fourteen hours.” he answered, looking at the alarm clock beside the top of Brendon’s bed. “It was around eight when we brought you here and now it’s a little after ten. Everyone else ended up passing out all over the living room by four so I’m sure they’ll be out a bit longer unless disturbed.” Ryan hummed quietly, not all that concerned with anyone else at the moment. “Need anything?”
“Morphine,” he said groggily, ready to fall asleep again.
“Well I don’t think we have any of that.” Bill laughed a bit, hugging himself lightly in the hoodie he had taken from Gabe before he left; missing the older man a lot but loving being around his best friend again. “But I know there’s Tylenol or something in this house. God knows how many people crash here with hangovers.” Ryan exhaled loudly and opened his eyes again, pushing his body into a sitting position, waiting for his head to stop spinning before moving again. “You might want to lie down a bit longer.” William suggested with a frown, reaching his arm out and placing his hand on Ryan’s shoulders as Ryan looked ready to fall over again.
“I’m fine,” Ryan said, twisting his shoulder so Will’s hand fell off him. “Where’s Brendon?”
“He’s downstairs in the studio still playing that guitar.” William answered, still frowning as he carefully watched Ryan. He was amazed that there wasn’t even a mark on Ryan’s face from the ball; the noise of the object colliding with his face echoing over the music that was pumping from the speakers on the beach. “Want me to go get him?” he asked, trying not to smile at the thought that Ryan requested Brendon; having had it with Ryan trying to deny his attraction.
“No.” Ryan shook his head, whining softly as he regretted doing so since it brought the pain back. “I can…go down there…” he mumbled, grabbing his head again to hold it steady until it settled. “If I remember where it is.”
“I really think you should lie back down,” Will said as Ryan slid off the bed, his free hand pressing into the mattress for support so he wouldn’t fall down. “I’m sure whenever Alex gets up that he’ll end up cooking something. Alex’s an amazing cook.”
“I don’t plan on staying long, thank you,” Ryan said as he stood straight, taking a deep breath and focusing on exhaling his pain away while keeping his balance. He really did feel like he had a massive hangover or something along those lines. “I just want to thank Brendon and then find a way to get back to the hotel to sleep the next week ‘n a half away.” Ryan opened his eyes completely.
“You know, Spencer and Jon are downstairs.” Bill told Ryan as he started towards the door, wobbling a little along the way and sticking his arm out to grab the door frame for support. “Seriously, Ryan. You’re going to fall down or something…” William got off the bed to go help Ryan to make sure he didn’t fall down and hit his head anymore.
“I will when I get back to the hotel.” Ryan answered a little bitterly, tired of everyone worrying so much about him. He was fine; his head just hurt and he was slightly dizzy. You try getting impaled in the face and rendered unconscious by a volleyball at roughly 20 mph. You’d be a little off center too.
“Fine.” Will sighed as he slid off the bed as well, following Ryan out of the room towards the stairs. Ryan was completely blind to the pink furniture he passed as he found the stairs, glancing quickly towards a hall which was lined with doors. He had a sense of curiosity that made him wonder what was behind each of the closed doors but Ryan just dismissed the curiosity, figuring they were probably bedrooms and a bathroom or two, grabbing a hold of the golden railing. “Don’t fall,” Bill said as he passed Ryan to head towards the door at the end on the left, disappearing behind it.
Ryan sneered in Will’s general direction, blinking his eyes to ensure clear vision then stepping down onto the first step of the twisting staircase from the second floor to the first. He had to hold tightly onto the railing, his head still spinning a little, walking slowly down the steps and following them around. The light melody Ryan had heard earlier was growing louder, the instrument most definitely being a guitar; no doubt Brendon’s. Ryan stood on the tile at the bottom of the stairs and straightened his clothes, dragging his fingers along the wall as he followed the noise to find Brendon. He walked down the hall, recalling the path from when he had been there a couple of days before.
When he got to the end, the heavy door was cracked open, the music flowing smoothly through the opening. Ryan inhaled deeply and slowly released it before placing his hand against the door and pushing it open enough to look inside. Brendon was sitting on a bar stool, bent over his guitar with a tired but determined look on his face as he plucked away at the strings of the guitar resting in his lap. “That’s really nice.” Ryan quietly spoke, Brendon’s head snapping up and face quickly taking on a worried but relieved look as he set the instrument down and jumped from the stool, throwing his arms around Ryan and causing Ryan to stumble back from the sudden force.
“I’m so sorry!” Brendon said, sounding ready to cry as he nearly suffocated the man in his arms. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Ryan said breathlessly, Brendon slightly crushing his body. The only good thing about being up so tight against Brendon was that Ryan could feel Brendon’s nice muscles against his own body and that was totally worth temporarily suffocating over. “Just…headache…” he told Brendon, letting his body be crushed a moment longer before moving his arms enough to try and push Brendon away enough to allow oxygen to flow easily in and out of his body.
“Do you need anything? Like Tylenol or an ice pack or whatever else?” Brendon pulled away and looked at Ryan with his eyes wide, the chocolaty brown color shimmering with regret in the light above him. “And if you need to go to the hospital or something I’ll pay for anything you need.” Ryan couldn’t contain a small smile, leaning back against the wall.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with dismissal. “It’s just a headache, Bren.” Brendon seemed to perk up a little at the nickname as it slipped Ryan’s lips unintentionally. It’s not like he doesn’t hear it every day; William most always calling him ‘Bren’ or ‘B’. But hearing it come from Ryan, slipping between his luscious lips in that silky voice just made it sound like more than a name. “The only thing I can think of that I need is a ride back to the hotel so I can spend the day in bed.”
“You can stay here, if you want.” Brendon offered a little hesitantly. “I mean, you’re more than welcome to lie back down on my bed or whatever. When everyone wakes up they’ll probably leave so it’ll be quiet. And William is hanging out with Nate and Alex so I’ll be the only one here; unless you don’t want me to or something.” he spit out, almost in one constant stream, to Ryan; traces of desperation in his voice. Ryan just figured it was because Brendon felt bad about the previous night.
“I don’t mind going back to the hotel, Brendon.” Ryan held onto his arm, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t like Brendon’s pout; it made him feel sad too. “Plus, Will said you were up all night. You need sleep too.”
“I can sleep on the couch.” Brendon shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“Sleep in your bed.” Ryan’s voice got a little stricter, his head rising to look at Brendon but avoid direct eye contact. “We had quite a workout last night; my own body is still protesting against me.” Brendon’s face softened and he smiled.
“That’s because you didn’t stretch,” he said playfully, sliding his hands in the pockets of yesterday's shorts which were still on his body. He hadn’t made it to the shower yet; trying not to freak out again about nearly killing Ryan. “But hey; you won.”
“So I’ve been told.” Ryan gave a little nod, just enough to express the motion but not get a headache again. “I don’t think it was entirely fair, though.”
“Well the ball only bounced on your side once then came back over the net where I failed to hit it so it was completely fair.” Brendon purposely avoided saying that Ryan’s face was what successfully returned the ball. “You won, Ryan. And you definitely put up one hell of a fight. I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted.” he smiled, sticking his hand out in ‘good sportsmanship’. Ryan looked at Brendon’s hand for a moment before giving in, trying not to over think the action because there is no reason for him to feel awkward or nervous or anything else about touching Brendon. It was just a friendly gesture.
Ryan put his hand in Brendon’s and allowed it to be moved up and down, Brendon yawning as he let go. “Go to sleep, Brendon, before you pass out,” Ryan said a little firmly, leaning back against the wall again.
“I’m not tired,” Brendon said, yawning once again but trying to hide it. Ryan lifted an eyebrow with that ‘yeah fucking right’ kind of look, Brendon’s face adapting his signature pout. “I feel shitty about nearly killing you last night and I want to make it up to you.”
“You didn’t almost kill me,” Ryan said. “You just gave me one fucking hell of a headache.” he tried to tease, fortunately not upsetting Brendon as the younger man’s face softened some with amusement. “So there’s nothing to make up.”
“Okay so maybe I just like hanging out with you.” Brendon tried, his pout being exchanged for a grin; almost a smirk. “If I’m asleep we can’t hang out. And I know you don’t really like me but-“
“I never said I don’t like you.” Ryan cut him off with a frown, Brendon’s smile growing a fraction more. “I don’t really like anyone.”
“But I like you in a completely ‘lets grab some beers and watch football’ kind of way; not that I really like beer or football. I like red bull more.” Brendon slightly rambled, Ryan feeling his face get warmer. It annoyed him how much Brendon refused to give up because it was making it very difficult for Ryan to stay strong against him. It’s not that Ryan doesn’t want to hang out with Brendon and be his friend or anything, it’s that he just likes being on his own to a certain extent; especially when he’s depressed such as his current state is. Ryan knows he needs to move on and forget about Pete; but fantasizing over Brendon isn’t how he supposed to go about it. And Ryan’s really only fantasizing about Brendon’s body, which is rather conceded and rude or disrespectful or whatever other word you come up with while he stares.
“How about I go back to the hotel and lay down while you stay here and get some sleep then later this afternoon we can hang out again.” Brendon went back to frowning.
“Why can’t you stay here? I have a guest room somewhere upstairs…” his eyes looked to Ryan with some pleading.
“Because I need to shower and my clothes are at the hotel and your house is already holding a bunch of passed out people.” Ryan answered with his usual hinted bitter tone. Brendon opened his mouth again but Ryan cut him off before anything could come out. “The only way you’re going to get proper sleep is if you do it in your own bed.” He didn’t exactly know if that was true or not but he didn’t want to stay there any longer; really needing a shower and fresh clothes which were at the hotel.
“I rarely sleep in my bed,” Brendon mumbled to himself, acting similar to a disappointed kid. Ryan strangely liked that. “If I agree to this,” Ryan scoffed because it’s not like Brendon could keep him there, he hoped, “Will you agree to go on my boat with me later?”
“I told you I don’t like water.” Ryan half scowled.
“Well you’re on an island which, by definition, is a piece of land completely surrounded by a body of water. So, if nothing else, by the time you leave, you’re going to love water.” Brendon grinned almost stupidly. “And I promised you that I would give you a brief tour of the island via my boat which is really pretty.”
“You promised Spencer a boat tour; not me.” Ryan tried and Brendon rolled his eyes, exhaling a puff of air.
“Details are irrelevant. What matters is that I promised a tour and when I make a promise I intend to keep it unless I become like physically incapacitated or some other big word.” A noise along the lines of a grunt escaped Ryan’s throat at the statement because Brendon just had this ridiculous charm that Ryan wish he could strangle out of the boy. It was almost damn near impossible for Ryan to dislike Brendon and that frustrated him. No one was supposed to be that damn perfect; especially not to him.
“I’m sure I’ll get sea sick,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest so his shoulders pressed back against the wall; his head barely a dull throb again to his relief.
“The beauty of it is that there’s plenty of sea for you to be sick in.” Ryan bit his lip to keep silent. “Come on, Ryan; there’s plenty of safety gear and a deck where you can relax and the boat doesn’t really rock all that much and the wind-“
“Okay!” Ryan loudly exclaimed. “If I say we can go on your boat, will you stop talking?” he asked, not wanting to sound rude per say but having enough of a headache that noise of any sort for prolonged periods of time made it his head hurt again.
“May-be,” Brendon said with a childish tone, still grinning madly. Ryan rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, playfully shoving Brendon while barely removing himself from the wall. “So will you do it?”
“I s’pose.” Ryan sighed, rubbing his face. “Now go to bed.” He stepped away from the wall to turn and point out of the room towards the stairs he had come from. “That’s the deal; you go to bed, I go to the hotel.”
“Fine.” Brendon sighed, scowling playfully at Ryan. “I’ll find William to give you a ride.” He sulked from the room, Ryan following and tugging on the heavy door to shut, turning to head towards the living room as he heard Brendon stomp up the stairs; dramatically. Brendon was in a way like Pete; making things all about him and being rather dramatic. Only, Brendon was a lot better than Pete in all ways possible; even if Ryan only knew him a few days. Brendon was unbelievably perfect. “See you at three, Ross!” Brendon called from the second floor while Ryan somehow managed to find his way to the kitchen to find the two men Brendon had been talking to the previous night; one sitting at the counter and the other having half of Brendon’s fridge on the counter.
Ryan slowly walked into the kitchen, debating finding another way out because he doesn’t do well around strangers. The one cooking looked up and caught his attention before Ryan could slip away though, smiling at him and wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Hey Ryan; how are you feeling?” he asked, walking around the counter towards Ryan while the other man turned his head. Ryan stayed a little distant though because he didn’t know the man who apparently knows him; from the game of course. “Oh yeah, right; sorry.” The man laughed, extending a hand. “I’m Alex, and this is my boyfriend Nate.” He used his head to nod towards the other man who gave Ryan a small wave, looking half asleep. “We’re Bill and B’s friends.”
“I gathered.” Ryan nodded, lightly shaking Alex’s hand. “I was uh, just leaving. So…nice meeting you,” Ryan said nervously.
“Want some breakfast?” Alex asked, eyebrows pulling together as he walked back around the counter to keep whatever was in the frying pan from burning. “I’m a chef so I promise nothing is poisoned.”
“I haven’t died yet,” Nate said with a smile, still looking at Ryan. “And it actually tastes half decent.”
“Shut your mouth.” Alex threw the towel at his boyfriend, sticking his tongue out playfully. “Please, Ryan, have a seat and I’ll make you breakfast. It’s no big deal or anything. I always tear apart Brendon’s kitchen when I’m here.”
“You make enough of a mess in our own,” Nate mumbled while setting the towel aside.
“I sort of made a promise-“
“Sit.” Nate basically commanded, Ryan about to say something else before shutting his mouth and walking to the empty chair beside the man, placing his hands in his lap and watching Alex on the other side. “So, what brings you to Hawaii?” Nate asked, reaching over the counter and grabbing a strawberry, Alex slapping his hand as Nate smirked happily and sat down with his treasure.
“Spencer,” Ryan said, looking down at the counter because if only knowing them for a lousy five minutes, he could tell the two really loved each other; and he was jealous. Ryan wanted that with someone. He wanted what Nate and Alex had; what Jon and Spencer had even. “Spencer thought it’d be good to get away from Vegas for a bit.” Ryan left out the specifics; they didn’t need to know.
“That’s cool,” Alex said, flipping what Ryan decided was a piece of bread over in the pan; the one side already a nice golden brown color. It smelt good, that was for sure. “Vegas is pretty neat. I spent a year there studying the culinary arts. I know that Bill really likes it there.” He grabbed a bag of shredded cheese and sprinkled some over the bread.
“Likes it where?” William asked as he strolled into the kitchen, his long legs allowing him to move in strides so that he really didn’t need to put much effort into moving his body from one spot to the next. Nate’s eyebrows rose up a little with amusement, the corners of his mouth curved with a smirk but he remained silent. “I see you’ve met the most disgustingly perfect couple.” Bill teased as he sat down on the barstool next to Ryan, supporting himself on his elbow on the counter. Alex laughed and stirred the pan of eggs which were mixed with a variety of different things, leaving a little on the spoon which he extended out to Nate to try. “See? It’s disgusting!” William gestured towards the two with a disgusted look, Ryan smiling to hide the jealousy of watching them fit so perfectly together.
“As if you don’t act the same way with Gabe.” Alex rolled his eyes, going to attend to some other part of his grand array of food while Nate downed some of the juice resting in front of him. “That’s disgusting.” Alex looked to Ryan.
“So are you staying with the love birds or going home like you told Brendon?” William asked Ryan, ignoring Alex’s comment.
“Uh…” Ryan looked at Alex apologetically. “I…it looks good but…I…I told Brendon I was going back to the hotel and we made a deal…” he played with his hands nervously.
“It’s okay.” Alex gave Ryan a friendly smile. “You’re here for almost two weeks, right?” Ryan gave a few short nods. “Well I’ll get something down you before you leave.” he teased, moving around the kitchen so perfectly.
“It was nice meeting you.” Ryan looked from Alex to Nate, his gut twisting and trying not to notice the way their eyes had an identical sparkle or how both their faces had the looks of pure happiness written all over them.
“See you around,” Nate said, giving Ryan a small wave again as Ryan slid off the stool.
“Bye, Ryan,” Alex said after his boyfriend, giving a small wave of his own as Ryan walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room; bodies laying all over the place. He heard soft talking coming from the kitchen as Ryan stepped as quietly over the sleeping people as he could, sighing as he spotted his friends curled up together in front of the large window; Spencer using Jon as a pillow and both in a tangle of limbs.
Ryan went to them and shook his head at the two, as sickening as Nate and Alex in their own way, before kicking Spencer until his best friend began to whine and stir from his sleep. “Get up, Spencer; we’re leaving.”
“Ryan?” Spencer sleepily asked, releasing Jon’s sleeping form to lay on his back and looking up with half lidded eyes.
“No, it’s fucking Santa Clause.” Ryan sarcastically answered, rolling his eyes. “Come on; William’s going to give us a ride back to the hotel.” He kicked Spencer again. “Wake Jon up.”
“I told Brendon you weren’t dead,” Spencer grumbled, forcing himself to a sitting position and yawning. “It was fucking hilarious though.” He laughed lightly, looking up at Ryan with a smirk. Ryan scowled and kicked Spencer a third time; harder than before. “Ow; stop that, Ryan!” Spencer frowned as he rubbed his leg.
“Just get Jon up so we can leave,” Ryan said, arms crossed over his chest as he stepped back over the sleeping bodies towards the door. Spencer shook Jon awake before standing up to follow Ryan, yawning more and stretching his arms out, slightly stiff from sleeping half on his boyfriend and half on the wooden floor. William emerged from the kitchen, twirling a ring of keys around his finger and stepping over everyone as though they weren’t even there. He smiled at Spencer and Jon as they headed for the door where Ryan was already waiting with his usual annoyed look on his face.
“Oh, hey Ryan.” Jon lazily greeted his friend before yawning. “How’s your face?” Spencer smiled even though Jon meant it seriously.
“Fabulous.” Ryan half snapped. “Can we go now? I want to go back to sleep.”
“Brendon offered his bed.” Bill smiled while unlocking then opening the door, a burst of warm air suddenly flooding in. Spencer looked at Ryan with a raised eyebrow as though to ask ‘oh really?’. Ryan just turned away from Spencer and pushed the screen door open to head outside instead of giving him an answer of any sort. He knew that Spencer would only harass him about it. “And I told you to lie back down earlier but you wouldn’t listen.” Will called after him, politely holding the door open for the other two.
“Which vehicle?” Ryan asked, ignoring William’s words as well.
“Uh…” Will looked at the keys in his hand. “Car,” he said after figuring out exactly what keys he held. Ryan headed for the small compact vehicle, glad not to have the wind pounding on his face from the metal deathtrap instead. Bill unlocked it and Ryan slid into the passenger seat while Jon and Spencer took the back, settling against the seat and pulling his seatbelt on. “You know he’s sad you’re not staying longer,” Bill said while getting into the car and shoving the key in the ignition.
“He needs sleep.” Ryan answered with a small shrug. “I need a shower and clean clothes.”
“As if you couldn’t fit into anything he owns.” Spencer spoke under his breath from the back but still loud enough for Ryan to hear. Ryan pretended not to hear though. He had every right to go back to the hotel to get his own clothes.
“I told you he likes you.” William smiled as he backed up. “And I told you that you like him.”
“Not like that.” Ryan answered, knowing full well that he was lying which meant everyone else could tell too.
“Then why’d you agree to come back later?” Bill asked with a small smirk.
“We’re coming back later?” Spencer asked with more curiosity than harassment of Ryan.
“Brendon wants to give us a tour on his boat,” Ryan said dryly. “It was the only way I could get him to go to sleep and let me go back to the hotel for a few hours.”
“Awesome.” Spencer cheerfully smiled, having wanted to see the island for awhile. That’s mainly why he chose to cash in Ryan’s honeymoon tickets to Hawaii. Sure, he wanted to help Ryan get over his disastrous relationship, but you can’t blame Spencer for having his own intentions too. He’s always wanted to go to Hawaii; especially with Jon.
“Unfortunately, I’ll be hanging with Alex and Nate for the day so you guys are all on your own.” Bill gave a light sigh, still smiling.
“How tragic.” Ryan sarcastically answered, shutting his eyes and leaning against the window, enjoying the blow of cool air coming from the cars air conditioner. As soon as he shut his eyes he saw Brendon’s smiling face which had been on his subconscious for some time; and he didn’t really care.
~+~+~+~+~+~
Ryan stepped out of the warmth of his bathroom which was filled with relaxing steam from his shower, making sure everything was covered just in case Jon and Spencer decided to come in again. His bed was empty though, to his relief, and Ryan went to fall down on it to relax; only his towel around his waist. The sound of the waves and distant laughing came in through Ryan’s window, allowing him to drift off until his phone suddenly began to ring and disturb his peace. Ryan groaned and sat back up, reaching over to the small nightstand next to his bed to grab the device.
He froze as soon as he looked at the screen.
“H-hello?” Ryan flipped the phone open to answer it, no matter how much his gut was telling him not to.
“Hey, Ryan.” Pete’s ever-smooth voice flowed through the speaker, making Ryan wince.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asked, an overwhelming wave of anger nearly drowning him.
“I just wanted to see how you are,” Pete said with that fake sense of care Ryan once grasped for.
“You have no right to care about me, Pete!” Ryan snapped at him, trying not to get too loud so his friends wouldn’t hear next door. The last thing he wanted was Spencer getting upset with him for talking to Pete; probably breaking Ryan’s phone should he still find him talking to Pete. “You left me, remember? You gave up any right you had to care about me that night.”
“I panicked, Ryan!” Pete was trying to make Ryan forgive him like he always did whenever he fucked thing up; and Ryan always would. But something was stopping him this time. Ryan didn’t know what it was; maybe the distance, maybe balls, or maybe even Brendon. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.” he quietly spoke.
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Ryan sneered back. “I fucking lost it, you know. For a week, a fucking week, Pete, I couldn’t leave my bed. I wasn’t eating, I destroyed half the apartment, and I cried so much I could have drown myself.” Everything he had pent up for Pete was suddenly coming out. And Ryan hadn’t felt better. “Spencer basically had to break in to check on me because I refused to get up and open the door myself.”
“Ryan…” Pete actually sounded upset, something foreign to Ryan’s ears, and it made Ryan smile. Not big, but a little, dark smile. “I…I didn’t mean to do that…”
“Yes, you did, Wentz. Don’t fucking deny it!” Ryan shot back. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have ever agreed to marry me since you don’t love me. You shouldn’t have fucking lied to me like that! I loved you, Pete! You were just fucking using me!”
“I never used you, Ryan!” Pete desperately spoke back. “And I do love you! I’ve always loved you!” Ryan couldn’t help but laugh dryly, rolling his eyes. “I panicked about marrying you because I was afraid! I never thought I would be married, tied down like that, but when you asked I didn’t know how to tell you I felt that way.”
“Stop fucking lying to me, Pete!” Ryan did yell that time. “You don’t mean a single fucking word of that and we both know it! Why are you even calling me? You have Patrick to use now! Can’t you leave me the fuck alone?!” Ryan suddenly found himself wanting to just break down and cry. It’s impossible to get over someone when they can’t even leave you alone.
“Ryan, stop acting this way!” Pete’s voice grew as well. “I do love you! And I love Patrick too!”
“That’s not how it works!” Ryan felt a warm tear trail down his face. He was losing the battle against himself not to cry. “You can’t do that to me or to Patrick, for that matter! So since you’ve already fucked things up with me, leave me the fuck alone!”
“Ryan, baby-“
“Don’t call me that!” Ryan’s voice was so angry and upset that it was heavy in his throat. “Don’t ever fucking call me that!” Tears started trialing one by one from each of his eyes. “Better yet, don’t ever fucking call me again! “
“Ryan-“ Pete started but Ryan snapped his phone shut and threw it, wiping his eyes and falling back against the bed. His head started hurting again from getting worked up and he just couldn’t take it any more. Ryan was just starting to get over Pete for good but the asshole had to ruin that as well. He’s already fucked up so much of Ryan’s life; and Ryan.
“Ryan?” Spencer knocked on the door to his room, voice concerned. “Ryan, are you okay?” Ryan didn’t answer though. He just turned over so he was on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow to silence himself. “Ryan?” Spencer tried again, voice a little louder. “You know I’ll come in there, Ross.”
“G-go away, Spencer!” Ryan yelled into the pillow angrily. He didn’t want to deal with him right now.
“Ryan, why were you yelling?” Spencer asked, doing what all good friends do by not giving up easily. “And why are you crying?”
“I’m not crying!” Ryan of course lied, breathing all uneven and voice choppy.
“So are you letting me in or am I using the nifty little spare key I had the desk give me?” Spencer asked, Ryan scowling into the pillow. That’s how he and Jon had gotten in. He should have known, really. Ryan didn’t move though. He heard the door opening a moment later as Spencer came in. “First of all, you need clothes on,” Spencer said. “Second, why were you yelling and now crying?”
“Just leave me alone.” Ryan choked into the pillow. He wasn’t even concerned with being half naked.
“Right; because I’m really going to turn around and leave again just because you told me to.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “Is there a reason your phone is all the way over here?” he asked, noticing the cell on the floor.
“Because I fucking want it there!” Ryan was back to yelling, Spencer instantly knowing it had something to do with Ryan’s sudden mood change. “Don’t touch it, Spencer!” he snapped as he turned his head to look at his friend through blurry eyes, noticing Spencer bend down to pick it up. “Spencer!”
“Come stop me.” Spencer replied, flipping Ryan’s phone open and going to his call history. His blood began to boil as he saw the most recent call. “You fucking answered it?!” he nearly yelled back at Ryan with anger. “What the fuck, Ryan?!”
“I told you to leave it!” Ryan buried his face back in the pillow, his attempt to hide from Spencer.
“What’d he do? Try to get you to come back to him so he could treat you like a whore again?!” Ryan shuttered at the word. Spencer had never called him a whore; that was always his dad’s word for him. “God, you’re fucking stupid sometimes, Ryan.” Spencer exhaled frustration, pressing the green phone button to call Pete back and settle this for good.
“Spencer! Don’t!” Ryan could hear the quiet ringing coming from his phone. His face was absolutely pleading but Spencer just turned around, phone still pressed against his ear.
“Ryan?” Pete picked up, sounding almost desperate.
“No, you disgusting, sad excuse for a human being!” Spencer replied in a near snarl. “Ryan’s busy crying his fucking eyes out behind me once again over you.”
“Spencer!” Ryan’s voice was as pleading as his face now. He hated Pete; but he didn’t want Spencer to chew him out either. Part of Ryan told him that Pete didn’t deserve that, no matter how much the man really did. Spencer continued to ignore him.
“You better listen well, Wentz. I swear to fucking god if you call or attempt to have any contact with Ryan ever again, I will drag you from the back of my car by your dick over the rockiest road I can find until it comes off; got it?!”
“I-“
“Good!” Spencer shut Ryan’s phone again, ending the call. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise, taking a few deep breaths before going to the bed where Ryan had his face pushing into the pillow again. “Ryan, why do you do this to yourself?” he asked, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on Ryan’s bare back, right between his shoulders. “You know you’re not over him, yet. Why would you answer the phone and let him do this to you?”
“I…I don’t know…” Ryan mumbled, inaudible to everyone who didn’t know him as well as Spencer did. “I just…some hope…”
“Ryan, Pete will never think of you the way you think of him. He’ll never love you because he’s not capable of love, okay? Pete is that type of person who just uses people until they can’t be used anymore than moves on. You’re finally away from that and you don’t need to go back.” Spencer spoke calmly to Ryan, rubbing slow circles on his back to try and calm him. “Do you want me to call Will and have him tell Brendon today probably won’t work?”
“No!” Ryan quickly spoke, lifting his head from the pillow and shaking it. “I…I’ll be fine…” Spencer smiled again. It was clear that Ryan liked Brendon. “I just need a few minutes to calm down…” he coughed a bit.
“Well you have about three hours to calm down,” Spencer said, looking at the clock on the wall. “Don’t forget clothes.” He patted Ryan’s back as the older man settled against the mattress again. “And get Pete’s number blocked from your phone too.” Spencer stood and walked to the door, taking Ryan’s phone with him just in case.
Ryan got himself to calm down as he lay against the bed, glad to be alone again. He clutched the pillow, curling his body up some on the bed, and shut his eyes. He smiled as he drifted off to a light sleep, imagining Brendon laying right there with him to make him feel better.
Part Two