Oh I love you maybe; and I hope it goes away.
Was going to do all my homework tonight. Such is the life of a procrastinator. Of course, I didn't. I did get my computer working more efficiently than it had been, which included a complete reformat since I had been messing with the terminal and command-lining my way into slow processing. Ah well. ./compile one too many times. Stupid kernels.
Trying to get everything back to the way it was, as well. And I'm not just talking about my computer.
Danny made it quite clear he would not be jealous if I hung out with all the guys this weekend... which struck me as odd. I mean, we are all friends, right? Why would he even mention it..? Maybe I am overthinking. Overthinking for me is rare, however.
I am forgetting words. Listening to sad Sonata Arctica songs. Sometimes I think I emotionally torture myself on purpose. Makes me feel more alive, maybe. Feeling more alive to want to feel (much) less alive. I don't understand. I probably never will. I wouldn't feel half as bad about it if it didn't affect other people as well.
I really should just retire from society. Go live in the woods, you know. I could...
Trying to get everything back to the way it was, as well. And I'm not just talking about my computer.
Danny made it quite clear he would not be jealous if I hung out with all the guys this weekend... which struck me as odd. I mean, we are all friends, right? Why would he even mention it..? Maybe I am overthinking. Overthinking for me is rare, however.
I am forgetting words. Listening to sad Sonata Arctica songs. Sometimes I think I emotionally torture myself on purpose. Makes me feel more alive, maybe. Feeling more alive to want to feel (much) less alive. I don't understand. I probably never will. I wouldn't feel half as bad about it if it didn't affect other people as well.
I really should just retire from society. Go live in the woods, you know. I could...