The Ashleigh Legacy | Gen. 2.4.
Archive | ✖ Naughty language, sexual situations/pixel nudity, and general disregard for the status quo.
Last time: Buffy died. I know, I know, so sad. :( Sasha and Scarlett aged up to children, which gave Kash anxiety (which gave Sasha pleasure). We found out that Juliet was pregnant about five minutes before she went into labor in the Ashleigh's living room. She and Finn now have a son named Aaron, and both mother and son moved in. Kash aged up to a teen, giving him about triple the anxiety. Bishop and Dylan were finally confronted by a representative of the vampire hierarchy in Neverglade, and Bishop was told to tone down his behavior, or else. Dun dun DUUUUN. Finn convinced Bo and Ares' ghosts to watch the kids while the adults went away for the weekend.
Ares: So. Since your parents and uncle are gone for two days, you going to have a party?
Kash: I don't know. I don't really know anyone. I get picked on sometimes... It's hard to make friends.
Ares: What better way to make friends than to let them get drunk at your house when your parents are away?
Kash: Damn, grandpa; that's a great idea!
Ares: And while you're partying, make sure you break that damn record player. It's always giving me attitude.
Kash: Hey, Jayme. I'm having a party tonight... I was wondering if you wanted to come? And maybe could you bring some people with you?
Scarlett: *girlie voice* Ooo, Jayme, and maybe then we can go to prom together, too? Because I'm a loser whose only girlfriend is his cousin.
Kash: I'm going to set you on fire, you little twerp! (...) No, not you, Jayme...
This is Kristin Sommer, daughter of Ivan Sommer, so that's probably going to be drama. I believe that she's madly in love with Kash because the moment she got to his house she literally ran into the backyard to talk to him, and mad dashing = love in my book.
Kristin: This is so great, Kash. I've always wanted to see inside your house. It's so yellow.
Kash: I, um. Uh. Hi, Kirs- *nervous laugh*
Kristin: You have two dads, right? How wild is that? Is it weird not having a mom?
Kash: I don't... um... I mean, I never-
Kristin: Hey, you want to go inside? I smelled pizza. Did you order pizza? That's so great of you.
Kash: Your, uh... shirt is see-through.
Kristin: It is. Thanks for noticing.
Kash: You're a great dancer.
Kristin: I know. I have a lot of energy! That's why I talk so much. Do you like to dance? You're kinda stiff. You should loosen up!
Kash: Hahaha, yeah, I'm kind of stiff. (I feel a little funny in my pants. Maybe this is what the health teacher was talking about.)
Yeah. You're totally straight, kiddo.
Oh, Jayme. Like mothers, like daughter.
During the party, this was all the girls did. Hid out in the kitchen while Scarlett princess'd at her invisible subjects and Sasha played with her IF. They have no interest in these silly teenage shenanigans. But when it came time for bed, they absolutely needed a bedtime story.
Jenny: And then the egg floats down the fallopian tube and attaches to the uterine wall, waiting for a sperm to swim up the vagina to fertilize it.
This is Jenny Bayer. She's decided that the girls need to read Totally Preggers, which is maybe not the best bedtime story, but maybe it scared Jenny straight enough that she wants to share her experience with the girls. Scarlett isn't paying attention to a word because she's too hypnotized by the amount of leg hair this hippie has, and Sasha is pretending to be asleep because the idea of sex is gross and cooties.
Oh haaaay, who invited Magic Mike to the party?
Kash: So, um, Kristin... I, uh... I was wondering if... you...
Kristin: Uh, Kash? Is that a real cop, or..?
Cornrows: (I see you checking me out, cop.)
Cop: Time's up, Ashleigh. Time to close the disco.
Kash: Disco... what? Auugh oh my god pleasedon'tarrestme.
Kristin: (This would be so much hotter if this cop was actually a stripper.)
Cop: This is a small town, you punk. We know you're home alone. Underage drinking? Really? With your sisters and a toddler in the house? You should be ashamed!
Kash: You're right! I'm a terrible person! Please don't cuff me!
Kristin: (Hnnngh please cuff him. Move closer, Kash... just kiss.)
In my mind Kristin is a tumblr fangirl who is fangirling her actual real life.
Cop: Break up the damn party. Send these kids home. And I suggest you clean up this house because I've already called your parents.
Kash: What?! But-
Cop: It's procedure. Now, I mean it. I want everyone gone in 15 minutes.
Flee!
Kash: ARE THEY ALREADY HOME?!
They're already home, kiddo.
Dylan: I can't believe this. We weren't even gone a full day before the cops called. I never expected this from Kash.
Finn: Don't blame him, man. Blame dad.
Dylan: ...seriously?
Finn: Seriously.
Bishop: Wait. Before we ground the hell out of our firstborn, I just want to say something. I'm... sorry. For keeping secrets and for the danger I put you in. That I put the kids in. I was trying so hard to protect you... my family. I never in a million years thought I would actually have a family. I guess I just panicked. I got all alpha and territorial and really, you're lucky I didn't piss on your leg.
Dylan: Bishop...
Bishop: You don't understand how bad it is, beautiful. I know what they're going to ask of us and I don't think we'll be able to do it.
Dylan: I don't understand.
Bishop: Just... let me try and smooth things over, okay? Let me try and fix this mess. I made it and I want to fix it.
Dylan: Bishop... I want to trust you. If you think you can do something to fix this, then do it. But don't you dare keep me in the dark like that ever again.
Bishop: I'll do my best, Dyl.
Dylan and Bishop aren't the only couple that's been rocky lately. :(
Dylan tries to distract himself by talking to reptiles. He already lost the girls' turtle, Harvey, and here he is about to lose Kash's snake, Dax. And no, I'm not being facetious. Spoiler alert.
Bishop, like any good addict, does exactly the opposite of what he's promised his loved ones he'll do. After his freak out and his show of weakness to his partner, he decided to just screw up all of his progress and called up an acquaintance, whose name I can't remember. Naturally, turning her into a vampire in the middle of the day, in this beautiful and idyllic yard, would be a really nice middle finger to both the fae and the vampires. Because Bishop is stuck in a state of perpetual and immortal immaturity.
He was just about to sink his teeth into this nice young lady...
...but oh my god, look at her adorable face. It's killing me. He couldn't do it. Call it a sobering moment, if you will. But it was in this moment that Bishop realized he really did need to fix things or he would lose everything.
Kash was invited to Ivy's house after school where he managed to make an epic fool of himself.
Kash: So, uh... you know prom is tonight, right?
Ivy: Uh huh.
Kash: Aaaaaaand Kirstin has to work, so... I wanted to know if you'd go with me?
Ivy: Like, as a consolation?
Kash: Well, I wanted to go with her, but you're here, so...
Ivy: If you don't leave my house right now, they'll never find your body.
Kash: Um, so is that a maybe..?
Yeah. He ended up going solo. But he was crowned prom king (though I'm pretty sure it was just a cruel joke to get him on stage so he'd have a panic attack), danced badly, and kept seeing crazy alien lights. Pretty appropriate if you ask me.
Finn: Just like dad said. It's just like dad said. And they're going to need my help down the line. (...) I know. Aaron is an unexpected variable, but one I can factor in. Juliet was predicted. (...) Of course I listened. It's right here. This is it. I'm always accurate. (...) Don't be snide, sir Guardian. I am a professional, you know.
Finn This potion will let me live forever.
At the exact same time upstairs, someone else was in the process of not living forever.
Juliet: Oh god, are there wrinkles? Am I a crone?!
Fuck yes. I love MLCs. And apparently so does Juliet. Look at that evil glee. Her dad would be so proud.
And the unaccounted for variable himself sparkles into childhood.
Much cuter than toddler!Aaron. Now we can acknowledge your existence. He rolled Coward which should surprise no one considering he spent all of his toddler years in a dark basement being babysat mainly by a ghost.
Oh, Bishop. There's self-hate and then there's whatever it is you're doing.
Bishop: It's ironic, satirical erotica. I fucking love myself.
Of course.
Now that you're finally self-sufficient, you can be allowed out of the basement, Aaron. He now shares a room with Kash and Bo and Ares have their morbid mausoleum back to themselves.
No, I'm never going to stop teasing him.
Finn was enjoying some leisurely fishing in the experimental ponds out behind the science facility after work when this crazy old woman started verbally assaulting him.
Beatrice: You, pink-haired boy. Stop fishing in that toxic water and let me give you a piece of my mind.
Finn: Thanks for the offer, ma'am, but I already have plenty of samples and slices of brain tissue inside-
Beatrice: Don't get smart with me! I know all about your family. There's good people in Neverglade and you heathens should just move along. I don't know why you came here in the first place, but I think we've tolerated you all long enough.
Finn: ...Excuse me? I don't-
Beatrice: You heard me. Boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls. Children traipsing around at all hours of the night. And the sounds coming from the basement! Like screaming and yowling! I heard a young lady's voice crying out, and I have half a mind to send the police around to investigate!
Finn: *bitch-face*
Beatrice: And I swear your house is infested with the undead! And ghosts! It's just so disgusting and unseemly! Probably ghosts of all of the poor girls that have been slaughtered in that basement of yours. When I close my eyes, I can steal hear the caterwauling and sobbing cries-
Finn: Ma'am, no one was being murdered in my basement. That was just me fucking my girlfriend. And if you don't want my undead family members hunting you down and showing you the real meaning of slaughter, then I suggest you stop spitting on me and walk away now, before I give them my shirt, which is now soaked in your nasty old lady saliva, which they'll use to get your scent and track you down. But they probably won't eat you because you're wrinkled and probably taste like spite and bitterness and Virginia Slims menthol 100s.
Beatrice: Well I never!
Finn: Well you should. It might help you remember how to be happy.
While Finn was so gallantly defending his family's honor against cantankerous old ladies, Juliet went to get a new look. Her mid-life crisis has been mild so far, but she was jonesing for some new clothes. Too bad it wasn't going that well.
Stylist: I'll see what we have, but no offense, you might want to consider one of the department stores. We're a boutique, you know? We cater to, well... younger ladies.
Stylist: Also, um... thinner.
Juliet: Say what?
Stylist: Here, maybe you can hide your potbelly with this coat? The pattern is sop bold no one will even be looking at the weight you've gained.
Juliet: Oh hell no. Did you just call me fat?
Stylist: Whoa! Wait a minute-
Juliet: Do you have any idea who I am? Do you know who my father is?!
Stylist: You better calm the fuck down before I call the cops!
Juliet: Yeah, I'd like to see you try it. Now who's fat, bitch?
Stylist: *melts*
Despite the rumors around school of Kristin already having a boyfriend, Kash decided to try his luck anyway and asked her out to the faerie arboretum. Because girls like faeries and all that crap, right?
Kash: Hey! I'm glad you made it.
Kristin: Hey, Kash. Look, before we do anything, I need to say something-
Kash: Well, before you say anything, let me say something first? I just wanted to let you know how much fun I had with you at my party the other day. It's like we had this instant connection, and I'm sure you felt it, too.
Kristin: Well...
Kash: I know you're seeing another guy, but I was hoping you might want to give me a chance, instead.
Kristin: Kash, look... how about we sit down, okay?
Kash: (Oh man, watching the stars in the faerie arboretum with all the twinkling lights and shit; this is perfect. I am so in.)
Kristin: Okay, so... basically... my dad told me that your dad turned him into a vampire against his will, and now my dad despises your dads and says if I ever see you again, he'll rip your face off and wear it over his own face while tearing both of yours dads' hearts out and using them for putting practice. While still wearing your face over his.
Kash: Hahahaha! ... Haha? .... Oh my god, you're not kidding, are you?
Kristin: Nope. But I do still like you, just so you don't feel bad. You're just not allowed to be within 300 feet of me anymore without supervision, so I should probably go.
Kash: Uh.
Kristin: Okay, see you at school! Thanks for taking me out tonight.
Kash: Er.
Kristin: Bye!
Kash: Ugh.
Just down the block, the most badass bartender of all time was coyly re-creating scenes from Cocktail, like a boss, for Dylan's amusement.
Look, it's everyone's favorite vampire stalker.
Bailey: Hi, Dylan. Hi. Hey, Dylan.. what's up? Dyla-
Dylan: Nope.
And everyone's favorite townie lothario.
Don: Hey, there, pretty pink-haired girl-
Dylan: I'm a man. And nope. Baby, save me.
But Bishop was too busy tormenting Erica Wolff to save Dylan from sexual harassment.
Bishop: Damn, woman, you have more hair on your back than my 70-year-old ex-Marine grand-dad. You seriously have an odor. Did you know that? And I think you have a matting issue in your cleavage. You might want to invest in some product or look into Nair, or something, because fuck. That's nasty.
Erica: At least I can grow body hair, you barely-legal, post-pubescent leech. The only hair that ends up on your body is that overly-bleached straw on your head that you probably tore out and glued into a pathetic happy trail so your candy-headed freak boyfriend can find his way to your tragic excuse for a toddler's penis.
Bishop: Hey! My penis is great! You leave my penis out of this!
Erica: MAKE ME.
Bishop: IT'S ON, BITCH.
I hope your money wasn't on Bishop because, well, he didn't win.
Dylan: Hello? (...) Yeah, this is Dyl- Oh, hi, Emelie. How did you get my- (...) Yeah, of course. You own people in the the phone company. I knew that.
Dylan: Oh, really? That meeting, huh? Already? (...) Right... of course your time is precious.
Dylan: Hey, look, there's no need for threats, okay? We'll be there. (...) Fine, yes, this weekend. Goodbye.
Kash: And then she just left. That's it. I have no chance at all because dad fang-raped some random guy.
Dylan: Kash-
Bishop: She sounds like a bitch to me. Forget her.
Dylan: Bishop-
Bishop: I'm serious. Kid, you're going to live forever. You'll have thousands of women. Don't let one little girl get you down.
Kash: But I really liked her.
Dylan: Look, to an extent, your dad's right, though personally I would have been a little more sensitive about it...
Bishop: Pussy.
Dylan: Shut up.
Bishop: Kash, stop fucking moping. Your dad and I are going to be gone for the weekend. Invite some girls over. Try some new flavors, okay?
Dylan: Just make sure you give Sasha and Scarlett a little attention. They'll be having their birthdays without us and I want to make sure they don't feel abandoned.
Kash: Fiiiiiiine.
The next day Bishop and Dylan found themselves faced with a sort of cadre of not-too-friendly-looking vampires.
Ayden: Mr. Ashleigh, Mr. Bowyer. How nice of you to accept my invitation.
Bishop: More like your pathetic threat.
Emelie: Watch your mouth, Bowyer, and have some respect for your elders. It's time for you to own up to your mistakes and make recompense.
Bishop: What fucking mistakes?
Jordan: Is he fucking serious?
Ivan: Probably. Pretty sure he's a sociopath. And a moron, on top of it.
Darius: I don't see what the big deal is. I'm not complaining. I like being a vampire.
Tristan: Listen, Bowyer; there are laws here in Neverglade. Rules that all of us who aren't human follow. It's how we survive here. It's how we prosper. And you threaten that.
Bishop: I'm seriously not getting the problem.
Dylan: Oh, fuck..
Bishop: What the fuck is going on? I don't even know who these guys are.
Emilie: You turned these three men into vampires against their will, you fucking idiot. That's three lives we have to give back to the fae. There's a balance, moron. And you broke it. The only reason they don't set us on fire while we sleep is because we agreed to a certain number vampires a long time ago.
Ayden: Daughter, calm yourself. Show some decorum.
Emilie: This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Father, you need to deal with him now.
Dylan: The guy with the short hair... he's a bouncer here, remember? The first night we came to town? And the red-haired guy... that was the night my dad died.
Bishop: ..Oh, yeah, okay, I think I remember. And the hot guy with the glasses... I think I did him when I was carrying the girls. *chuckles* Pregnancy hormones are a bitch, huh?
Jordan: You smug sonofabitch. You stole my life from me and you're making a fucking joke out of it?!
Ayden: Enough of this foolish talk! Tristan, remain. The rest of you, leave us. This is my one and only offer, Mr. Bowyer, Mr. Ashleigh; in recompense for the harm you have done, we require three lives paid back to the light. And since these gentlemen were turned against their will, they will not be punished for your crimes. My family has decided that the lives of your three children will do.
Bishop: What?!
Dylan: Are you out of your fucking mind?
Ayden: I will hear no more arguments, and I will see proof of their deaths by week's end, or the two of you will witness what lengths I am willing to go to when I am crossed not a moment after.
Dylan: You can't ask us to do that! We're not killing our children because Bishop made some mistakes. This is insane.
Bishop: Yeah, what he said. And fuck you, Cryptkeeper.
Ayden: As I stated before, I will hear no more arguments. This is not a negotiation. Tristan, if you would-
Tristan: Absolutely.
Ayden: My son is always looking for new toys, Mr. Bowyer. You will do as I say and restore the balance, or I will take your children and Tristan will take your lover, and we will introduce them all to a deep, dark place. Do I make myself clear?
Bishop: *choked* Dyl-! Fuck-
Ayden: If you push me, you will never see any of them ever again. Despite your appearance, I can't imagine you're stupid enough to not comprehend how incredibly serious I am.
Ayden: Do we have an accord, Mr. Bowyer?
Bishop: Yes! Fine! Just fucking let us go!
Ayden: Keep your word, boy. Kill them quickly and with mercy, because if you do not, I won't be so kind to the ones you love. Tristan, let him go. And let's be on our way.
Bishop: Baby? Oh, shit... Dyl, I'm so fucking sorry. I swear, I wont let anything happen to you ever again, and those fuckers aren't going to lay a hand on our kids.
Bishop: We'll figure out a way to fix this, I promise.
Text from Kash: ‘Hey dads. Figured you guys must be off somewhere having fun since neither of you are picking up your phones. Sasha and Scarlett had their birthdays and they wanted me to send you this picture since you guys couldn’t be here for it. We love you and miss you and we’ll see you guys when you get home.’
Guest Sims:
Ares Live by emalso
Bishop Bowyer by nice_days
Juliet Fortune by hopeless-sims