The Ashleigh Legacy | Gen. 2.1.
Archive | ✖ Naughty language, sexual situations/pixel nudity, and general disregard for the status quo.
Last time: Brigid married Bobbie and moved out, achieving one of her lifetime wishes. Dylan asked Bishop to marry him and became a full-fledged member of the undead that very same day. Charlotte and Austin became "real" and conned Finn and Étain into getting their family to move to Neverglade so they could find their faerie kin and become fae again. Ares became an elder and passed his position of liaison with the Guardian to Finn, who is now charged with protecting the family. Dylan came out to his parents as a vampire, and Finn and Étain had their YA birthdays.
Charlotte welcomes you to this update with a very disdainful birthday derp. You know how they say if you make a face like that it'll stick that way? Well, her's did and I had to reset her. Though I was really tempted not to. Because look at it. It's magnificent.
Austin: Think the con worked?
Charlotte: Absolutely. Finn already told me that Ares sold the house. We're moving back to Neverglade, my love.
Ares: I made the final call today. Our house has been sold and we leave in the morning, early.
Bo: Oh ...you were serious?
Ares: Yeah, I was serious. We need to get Austin and Charlotte home to their fairy kin because fairy magic is the only thing that will help Finn create a potion for Dylan and Bishop that will help them be able to conceive children, despite being both gay and dead.
Bo: Right! Of course. Naturally.
And so off they went. Bye Bye, Ridgewater!
We'll start off the Ashleigh's new lives in Neverglade by officially introducing Bishop, now that he's a part of the household. Isn't he special? Bishop loves soul music, the color spiceberry, and o-positive. His lifetime wish is to Turn the Town.
Ares: Now that we're all settled in, I'm depending on you to get Charlotte and Austin to where they need to be, Finn.
Finn: What? Who?
Ares: Finn, focus!
Ares: Remember, your and Étain's former imaginary friends who are actually changelings stuck in the bodies of dolls? You need to take them to meet a family called the Chestnuts. I'll give you the address of the meeting spot.
Finn: Right, right! Sorry, dad. Fugued off there for a minute.
Ares: It's fine! You're just connecting with the Guardian of this house. It's a good thing, kiddo! Your signal is strong and I'm proud of you.
Finn: Thanks, dad! I do try my hardest to be as crazy as you.
Ares: Now, just make sure you get some fairy dust from one of them. You'll need it to make the potion that will allow Dylan to carry on the family legacy.
Finn: Got it. Fairy dust for the fairy.
Meet the Chestnuts. Jon, Maggie, and their son Timothy.
Jon: You know, you do look really familiar...
Charlotte: Austin and I were kids here in Neverglade. Young love and all that.
Charlotte: My dad caught us kissing under a willow tree and he got so furious that he banished us to the mortal world in doll form, hoping that by giving us that time alone to think, we'd reconsider our choices and I would come back to him and marry the man he wanted me to marry.
Finn: But you guys are still in love, after all that time apart. I think that's awesome.
Charlotte: True love can never be torn apart, right sweetheart?
Austin: Absolutely. I'll always find her, no matter what happens to us.
Maggie: Welcome back to the fold, Charlotte.
Jon: It'll definitely be nice to have another guy around to hang out with.
Charlotte: Perfect. Now everything is as it should be.
Austin: Damn, it feels so good to be me again.
Finn knew that this might possibly be the last time he ever saw Charlotte again. The doll that had kept him company when he was a toddler, the imaginary friend who laughed at his jokes and always encouraged him to try new things and never condemned him for being different, and now the beautiful fairy who had once again found her people. He couldn't help suddenly feeling a little lonely.
Charlotte: Finn! This is all because of you. I can't even think of a way to thank you.
Charlotte: Here, please take this. I know it's silly, but fairy dust can help dreams come true. You'll find a use for it, I'm sure.
Finn: I'll miss you, Charlotte. Maybe I'll see you around town, hm? If you guys are going to stay?
Charlotte: I think we're going to stay here for a bit, yes. Until we get things sorted out; decide what we want to do with our lives, now that we have them back.
Austin: You're welcome to contact us any time, man. You're the reason I got Charlotte back. Oh, and uh... despite how Étain feels about me, please tell her I said thank you and the same goes for her. She can contact me any time.
And with that, Finn left that part of his life behind, a little melancholy to be taking these steps into adulthood alone, but definitely anxious and curious about what his future would hold.
A few days later was a summer festival in Neverglade. The Ashleighs were thrilled, having never lived anywhere that had real seasons before. So they decided to celebrate Bo's elder birthday there.
Étain: Do you think real snow is like this?
Bo: I hope not. I don't want to get all sticky from syrup while making a snow angel.
Étain: Mom. Seriously.
Finn tried out roller skating. "Trying" being the operative word.
Seeing as hot dogs are Dylan's favorite food (innuendoinnuendoinnuendo), and with his new insatiable vampire constitution, it was pretty obvious who was going to win the eating contest.
Then came time for Bo's birthday.
Bishop: Stop copying me.
Dylan: Stop copying me.
Bo: (Hm, what do I want to wish for..? I guess I wish for my idiot son and his even more idiotic fiance to actually bear me some children who aren't quite as idiotic as they are.)
Ares: Hooray! I'm not going to be the only old fart around anymore!
Étain: Ugh, parental birthdays. What could be more lame? I'll be on my phone.
Bo: Well. That was lackluster.
Ares, having given up a very promising career in sports for the military, decided that hitting things was how he wanted to spend the rest of his evening.
And Bo just wanted to blow shit up. Typical.
Étain: Oops! Sorry. I didn't mean to roll into you like that. *laughs*
???: Oh, it's fine! I don't really know what I'm doing out here, either.
I see you, Dylan.
Dylan: Who the hell is that meat sack talking to my baby sister? If he makes one wrong move, I swear I'll eat his face.
Fierce, bb.
???: I'm Ryan, by the way. You look familiar... I think your family moved in across the street from me and my roommate.
Étain: Oh, yeah? That's... great. Really great. (Oh my god he's so cute) Hey, mind giving me a hand here? Maybe we can help each other get better at this.
Ryan: Absolutely.
Ryan: ...or not. *laughs*
Étain: holyshiti'msoembarrassed.
Bo retired. She didn't think that spending time in the clink would be good for a woman her age. But in reality it was just laziness. And she really wanted confetti.
Étain started working on Dylan and Bishop's wedding present trolololol.
So did Finn, and though his wedding present would be a little less conventional, it would be very, very necessary.
Étain: So, you really do live across the street. *nervous giggle*
Ryan: Yeah... I do. Which you obviously already knew since the reason I came out here was to ask you why you were staring in through my window in the middle of the night while it's pouring rain.
Étain: Weeeelll....
Ryan: (Oh no. This is going to get awkward, isn't it?)
Étain: I was wondering... since we seemed to have fun the other night... well...
Ryan: Let me just stop you right there, Étain. See, the thing is... I'm gay. And I don't want you to get the wrong idea.
Étain: Oh. Shit. Oh. Uh... Wow. That really changes things, huh?
Ryan: Yeah. I'm sorry... I guess I should have said something before.
Ryan: Think we can still be friends? I'd definitely like that, especially now that I know you think I'm cute. *laughs*
Étain: Jerk. *laughs* Yeah, absolutely.
Finn: Hey, bro... since you and Bishop are making mom and dad's lives hell by refusing to get married despite the fact that they glare at you both for several hours a day and made you live in the basement, I figured I'd give you my wedding present early.
Bishop: Oo, I love presents.
Dylan: Yeah, I think I'll pass. Over the past several years, the only presents you've ever given me have been dead, or nearly dead, or made me wish I was dead. I don't want any more dead stuff in my life, Finn. Bishop is more than enough.
Finn: Oh, come on! I promise this isn't anything from the junkyard or the pond or, you know, the toilet... but that was only one time and I was six!
Dylan:
Bishop: I'll take it. I love dead things!
Finn: I'll keep that in mind! But this isn't actually a dead thing. It's a potion, you see, and basically you just mix it into one of your drinks and whichever one of you downs it will be able to get pregnant.
Guess which one of them is getting the potion.
Bishop: Oh, what? How could you not trust a precious, innocent face like mine?
Bishop: How's your plasma juice, beautiful?
Dylan: S'fine.
Bishop: Taste okay?
Dylan: Uh-huh.
Bishop: Not weird or anything?
Dylan: Nope.
Bishop: Great.
Dylan: ...and then when I heard that Kstew was doing that snuff film movie with Alex Pettyfer I was like 'Holla!', but really, why does he need to do any other movie now that Magic Mike is out on DVD? That's all I need...
Bishop Dylan. Dylan. Dylan.
Remind you guys of anyone?
Bishop: You. Me. Downstairs. We need to christen the basement, stat.
The reason behind this picture is twofold: 1) I love how vampires can walk around in the sun if they have umbrellas (and Dylan's has puppies on it jfsdkj), and 2) knowing what Bishop and Dylan just did in the privacy of their own bedroom, every time I see this picture I get this song stuck in my head.
Because the Ashleighs had so much damn money, everyone got cars. Bishop's penis-mobile, naturally. A red Mustang.
Brigid: Maybe if I hide my face in my daughter's head, they won't see me.
Of course we had to drag Brigid and Bobbie along!
And this is their daughter, Jayme.
As you can see, Finn's favorite food isn't hot dogs.
On his way to the corner drug store to get some antacids, Finn spied a rather fetching young woman sitting on a bench outside. It's like he was magnetically drawn to her and didn't know why. It was almost like fate had put them together, but for what purpose, it was yet to be revealed.
Finn: Hi, I'm Finn. I feel like I know you. Is that weird?
???: Not at all, Finn. You don't know me yet... but you definitely will.
The most awesome vampire club ever.
Bishop: Come on, man. I'll make you a deal: You drop that red velvet rope and I'll embrace you into unlife. What do you say?
Ivan: No way. If I let you in, scarier vampires than you would have me for breakfast. Rules are rules, pal.
Bishop: Guess it's a good thing for me that I'm a rule-breaker by nature.
Ivan: Ahhhh..! Fuuuucckk...
???: (What the hell?! An unaccounted for new vampire just turned Ivan? I have to tell the boss...)
???: Boo.
Finn: Oh, wow, hi! I was just looking for my brother... what are you doing here?
???: Looking for you, Finn.
???: I'm having a get-together at my place in a few days. I want you to come.
Finn: I...I'd love to. (Wow, she's forward.) But maybe you could tell me your name first?
???: Maybe later.
☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆~magic~☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆
Dylan: *hypno-gaze*
Étain: o____o
Dyan: Heh heh, sorry for the compulsion, and believe me I'd never do this to family if it wasn't an emergency, but I suddenly got ravenously hungry and I'm worried if I don't get something to eat like right now, I might go on a killing spree. So I'm going to drink some of your blood and you're not going to remember that any of this happened, okay?
Étain: You're my big brother, Dylan. I'd do anything for you.
Étain: Ow. Ooowww. Owie.
Dylan: Uh... What the hell?
Dylan: (Holy shit, am I eating for two now? But how? There's no way...)
As is typical for old men, Ares started tending to Finn's garden when Finn wasn't around to do it. He also wanted to get a dog, so after much, much agonizing, I finally let him.
So say hello to Sheba, the newest addition to the Ashleigh family. She's already a perfect Ashleigh, doing things wrong like a dumbass. ♥
Sheba: (This door is totally uncomfortable.)
Ares: Hey, girl. We're going to be your new family, okay? How do you like that?
Sheba: (Just feed me and pet me and you have a deal, old man.)
Dylan: Bishop. I don't know what happened or how, but I think... well, I know this sounds crazy, but... um...
Bishop: Oh my god, are you pregnant?
Dylan: How the fuck did you know?
Bishop: Damn. Your brother is a genius!
Yeah, probably should get around to doing that one of these days.
Étain: Hi. You must be Ryan's roommate. I was just on my way over to ask if he wanted to hang out. I'm Étain... from across the street?
???: Right. He's mentioned you. I'm Spike. Come on in. He's still at work, but I think he'll be home pretty soon.
Étain: Soooo... you guys are roommates, huh? Like, roommates or "roommates"?
Spike: Oh, no, no, no. Just roommates. I'm straight as an arrow. We've known each other since we were kids, is all. It's not like that.
Étain: Oh, man. I was really hoping to catch some sexy boy on boy action through the windows one of these days. Or maybe be invited for some hot threesome fun.
Spike: Well, I can't promise the threesome action, but I can definitely offer a little one-on-one time. If you're interested.
Étain: Oh, yes please.
Spike: Never would have pictured myself going after the girl next door... but there's just something about you.
All. Night. Long.
Wrong person to catch the walk of shame.
Bo: Guess what I woke up to this morning, young lady? That old windbag Mrs. Miller next door telling me that she saw you and some boy with blue hair from across the street screwing up against a window in his house! What the hell were you thinking?! We just moved here! Your brother is already going to have a hard enough as it is trying to raise a family, considering his predilections.
Étain: I'm sorry, mom! God, get off my back.
Bo: No. Not this time, young lady. Your behavior is getting out of control. You refuse to get a job, you never even graduated high school, and now you're sleeping with strange men you just met? I won't have you disrespecting yourself and this family as long as you're under my roof.
Étain: Fine. Then you know what? I won't be under your roof anymore. I am so tired of you always getting on my case about everything! It's like Dylan and Finn can do no wrong and you're always taking everything out on me. I totally understand where Brigid was coming from, now. I'm out of here!
Bo: Wait, wait, Étain, no... I didn't mean to be so brusque-
Étain: No, mom. It's too late. I'm an adult and I need to be on my own. You're suffocating me!
Bo: Argh, damnit, Étain! Fine, just go, then. And I don't want to see you crawling back when you run out of money, either. And don't you dare use your brothers to get to me.
Étain: I won't. Goodbye, mother.
Étain: Finn, come on. Look at me. I didn't want things to end up like this, but I just can't live with her anymore.
Finn: I know, but... what about me?
Finn: It's always been me and you, you know? Now that Charlotte's gone, and with you leaving... it's going to suck.
Étain: I think I'm going to ask Brigid if I can move in with her and Bobbie. Or if not them, maybe Ryan and Spike. Then I'll just be across the street.
Finn: Good. Because I can't watch Game of Thrones with anyone else.
Étain: You better not.
Finn: Love you, sis. Take care, okay? Let me know if you need anything and I'll sneak it out for you... as long as mom doesn't catch me.
Étain: Thanks, Finn. Love you, too. And be careful tonight... you know how you get on full moons. *laughs*
Bye bye, Étain.
Speaking of full moon madness.
Étain: I know this is pretty crazy and you can tell me to leave and never come back if you want, but I feel more connected with you than I ever have with anyone. I think I might be falling for you, Spike. I know it's sudden, but I mean, when you know you just know, and-
Spike: Hey, shh. I feel the same way. I haven't been able to think about anything else but you all day. There's definitely something here.
Ryan: (Whoa. A guy goes on an overnight for work and this is what he comes home to? Well... maybe she cooks...)
Be good to her, SP. She's a horrid brat but she grew on me. ♥
Speaking of whoa, when Finn showed up to his mystery woman's house, he found it completely empty save for her, swimming alone in a small pool out back.
Finn: I brought you these... thanks for the party invite. Though I find it strange that you'd call just you and me alone a party.
???: Thanks! These are lovely. And hey, maybe I meant a party of two. *laughs*
Finn: Think you might tell me your name, now? Since it's just us...
???: Maybe...
LESS THAN ONE DAY LATER. Okay. Magical virgin vagina ensnares man, news at 11:00.
Sheba: (Hey. We were playing, slightly-paler-and-colder-than-everyone-else bipedal humanoid. What gives?)
Dylan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ow.
Dylan: HOW THE HELL IS THIS GOING TO WORK?!
Take yourself on a trip to the magical hospital, bb. I promise they'll get it out.
While Dylan was at the hospital, someone thought it would be a good idea to let Bishop decorate the baby's room.
Bishop: And it looks fucking badass. Don't you dare change a thing.
Except maybe we can add a rug.
Bishop: WE'LL SEE.
Meet Kash Ashleigh! Named for the song 'Kashmir' by Led Zeppelin. Kash loves purple, soul music, and spaghetti with veggie sauce.
He is also literally the cutest toddler I have ever had in any game ever.
Dylan: Mom. Now what do I do? Mom. Oh my god, it's a kid.
Bo: Get out of the way, Dylan. I'm old and dying and I need grandson time. You can have him when I'm dead and gone.
Dylan: Just let me hold him once before you go crazy.
Dylan: Wow. So I made you, huh? That's just insane. You're like a little miracle.
Bishop: It smells. I think it pooped. Someone take this thing.
Typical. And to be expected.
Well done, Dylan. You can get up and crawl out of your basement and all the way upstairs in the main house to feed Finn's frog, Buffy...
...but leave your ancient mother to go all the way into the basement, gather your child, and bring him up to the main house to feed him.
Bo: Damn kids. I hate them all.
That's it for now! As always, thanks for reading! ♥ Also, I've been posting "outtakes" on my tumblr for awhile now, so if any of you don't follow me there, I always post them up after each post here (if there are any outtakes to post). If you're interested, here's the link!
Guest Sims:
Ares Live by emalso
Bishop Bowyer by nice_days
Ryan Kitt by mission-simpossible
Spike Rinehart by simpression