(no subject)
Dear Buffy -
I'm very sorry. Sixty minutes and my frazzled brain really doesn't produce much of value. I wish I could do something better.
- Inui
Warning: Ha. Hahahaha. Everything I know about DC characters I've learned from what I've read at camp? Same with Excel, although I have seen the anime and read the first two volumes of the manga. I've no excuse for Buffy, as I've seen all the episodes and certainly know her voice, but I'll be damned if I can produce it. This entire drabble makes no sense, the ending sucks. Seriously? You'd be better off clicking out and reading classprotector's journal. She writes 835% better than I.
When Bart asked if Buffy wanted to visit Excel in her reality, she had shrugged and said, "Why not?" So she couldn't speak Japanese. Excel could speak English. Probably. And it would only be for a couple of hours, half a day at most. She was curious on how the die-hard ACROSS member was doing since the mass liberation from camp. So really, why not?
If Buffy had Bart's ability to travel through time, she would have gone back and locked herself in a closet. With Kon. Except they could've broken themselves out easy. Okay, maybe her plan-in-case-of-unexpected-time-travel-powers needed work.
Bart had dropped her off at the ACROSS secret headquarters. How he knew where the secret headquarters were seemed iffy but she had a hunch it had something to do with supplying Il Palazzo with roleplay video games. Buffy had spent the next couple of hours trying to look impressed with the place and in the increased length in shoulderpads that Il Palazzo had apparently ordered. Elgala had been snarky, Hyatt anemic, and Lord Ilpacock inscrutable. Excel, herself, had been a whirling dervish of energy at seeing Buffy again and was dumped four times into the pit due to "gross misconduct." Really, it had reminded her of camp kinda, just more dungeon-ey.
When the time when Bart should've picked her up came and passed, Buffy wasn't too worried. He'd gotten sidetracked probably, he'd pop up any nanosecond to get her. But time passed some more. And some more. And then Excel was suddenly dragging her to the ACROSS girls' apartment and all of her instincts were screaming "APOCALYPSE!" but by then her instincts were far too late.
Three long days happened. She got kinda used to Hyatt's frequent deaths, Elgala's not-so-subtle digs at her appearance (so not her fault that she didn't pack for an extended visit), and Excel's equally not-so-subtle attempts at tricking her to join ACROSS. Chasing down a continually escaping Menchi wasn't so bad, better than Excel's excited plan to liberate more Emergency Food Supplies from the local free animal shelter. Even the shoulderpads on the ACROSS uniform that they had lent her to wear was okay. She kept knocking things over but she was a Slayer. If she could deal with an apocalypse, she could deal with shoulderpads.
However when Elgala, after listening to Excel moan yet again about the girls' lack of money-moolah-dinero, had slyly suggested that they use Buffy's strength as a carnival sideshow attraction, she had put the Slayer foot down. No. Nuh-uh. She was a guest but that went far beyond guesting duties. Guests were supposed to be pampered, not pimped.
So why Buffy found herself dressed in a Supergirl outfit and defeating swaggering men at arm-wrestling for 200 yen a pop while Excel yelled to the crowd in Japanese ( probably "Come defeat She-Man, Amazon of the Biceps!") was really a mystery. Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe she was an alternate version of herself. Maybe she wasn't herself at all. God, she hoped so.
"Uh, Buffy?"
Or maybe not. It just figured. She turned around to the whistles of the mostly-male crowd that had gathered around them, to see a grinning Kon and nervous Bart. "Hey guys."
"Buffy, Buffy, I'm sorry I'm late! I was going to get you when I got distracted by the 34th century and I was only gonna stay and play Blitz Ball for two minutes I swear but then I got pulled into playing the championship game and my team won and you understand don't you Buffy? Please?"
Bart's big eyes were like her kryptonite. It wasn't fair. "S'okay Bart."
"Hey hombres! You two want to challenge our Amazon?" Excel caroled, pinwheeling her arms, Menchi tied jauntily to her head. When Buffy had sarcastically suggested that Menchi would get "lost" less often if the puppy were tied to someone, Excel had taken her suggestion with the air of someone who voluntarily tied animals to their head far too often.
Kon coughed and if he was covering up laughter, she was gonna kill him. "Nah Excel, I think Buffy needs to get back home. Slayer stuff, you know. No rest for the heroes!"
"Yeah, I figured! Hey Bart, next time you fly through his world, bring Ash here to visit. Bet we could get the Food Supplies in the entire shelter with L'il Bro's pokemon to help!"
Visions of fire and cows and pantlessness danced in Buffy's head as she vaguely heard Bart's affirmative. As long as she wasn't here for it, she wasn't gonna say anything. "Well, it's been swell, Excel, but Slayering calls. You've got my clothes back at the apartment, right?"
There was a short silence, in which the ACROSS girls looked at each other shiftily, and then Elgala tittered. "I, Elgala, am soooo sorry. They got oh-so-accidentally burned this morning. In a happy bonfire in an alley by these two hands."
Well. At least Kon could stop her from killing Elgala even if he had seen her in the stupid Supergirl outfit again. Silver-lining and all.
I'm very sorry. Sixty minutes and my frazzled brain really doesn't produce much of value. I wish I could do something better.
- Inui
Warning: Ha. Hahahaha. Everything I know about DC characters I've learned from what I've read at camp? Same with Excel, although I have seen the anime and read the first two volumes of the manga. I've no excuse for Buffy, as I've seen all the episodes and certainly know her voice, but I'll be damned if I can produce it. This entire drabble makes no sense, the ending sucks. Seriously? You'd be better off clicking out and reading classprotector's journal. She writes 835% better than I.
When Bart asked if Buffy wanted to visit Excel in her reality, she had shrugged and said, "Why not?" So she couldn't speak Japanese. Excel could speak English. Probably. And it would only be for a couple of hours, half a day at most. She was curious on how the die-hard ACROSS member was doing since the mass liberation from camp. So really, why not?
If Buffy had Bart's ability to travel through time, she would have gone back and locked herself in a closet. With Kon. Except they could've broken themselves out easy. Okay, maybe her plan-in-case-of-unexpected-time-travel-powers needed work.
Bart had dropped her off at the ACROSS secret headquarters. How he knew where the secret headquarters were seemed iffy but she had a hunch it had something to do with supplying Il Palazzo with roleplay video games. Buffy had spent the next couple of hours trying to look impressed with the place and in the increased length in shoulderpads that Il Palazzo had apparently ordered. Elgala had been snarky, Hyatt anemic, and Lord Ilpacock inscrutable. Excel, herself, had been a whirling dervish of energy at seeing Buffy again and was dumped four times into the pit due to "gross misconduct." Really, it had reminded her of camp kinda, just more dungeon-ey.
When the time when Bart should've picked her up came and passed, Buffy wasn't too worried. He'd gotten sidetracked probably, he'd pop up any nanosecond to get her. But time passed some more. And some more. And then Excel was suddenly dragging her to the ACROSS girls' apartment and all of her instincts were screaming "APOCALYPSE!" but by then her instincts were far too late.
Three long days happened. She got kinda used to Hyatt's frequent deaths, Elgala's not-so-subtle digs at her appearance (so not her fault that she didn't pack for an extended visit), and Excel's equally not-so-subtle attempts at tricking her to join ACROSS. Chasing down a continually escaping Menchi wasn't so bad, better than Excel's excited plan to liberate more Emergency Food Supplies from the local free animal shelter. Even the shoulderpads on the ACROSS uniform that they had lent her to wear was okay. She kept knocking things over but she was a Slayer. If she could deal with an apocalypse, she could deal with shoulderpads.
However when Elgala, after listening to Excel moan yet again about the girls' lack of money-moolah-dinero, had slyly suggested that they use Buffy's strength as a carnival sideshow attraction, she had put the Slayer foot down. No. Nuh-uh. She was a guest but that went far beyond guesting duties. Guests were supposed to be pampered, not pimped.
So why Buffy found herself dressed in a Supergirl outfit and defeating swaggering men at arm-wrestling for 200 yen a pop while Excel yelled to the crowd in Japanese ( probably "Come defeat She-Man, Amazon of the Biceps!") was really a mystery. Maybe it wasn't her. Maybe she was an alternate version of herself. Maybe she wasn't herself at all. God, she hoped so.
"Uh, Buffy?"
Or maybe not. It just figured. She turned around to the whistles of the mostly-male crowd that had gathered around them, to see a grinning Kon and nervous Bart. "Hey guys."
"Buffy, Buffy, I'm sorry I'm late! I was going to get you when I got distracted by the 34th century and I was only gonna stay and play Blitz Ball for two minutes I swear but then I got pulled into playing the championship game and my team won and you understand don't you Buffy? Please?"
Bart's big eyes were like her kryptonite. It wasn't fair. "S'okay Bart."
"Hey hombres! You two want to challenge our Amazon?" Excel caroled, pinwheeling her arms, Menchi tied jauntily to her head. When Buffy had sarcastically suggested that Menchi would get "lost" less often if the puppy were tied to someone, Excel had taken her suggestion with the air of someone who voluntarily tied animals to their head far too often.
Kon coughed and if he was covering up laughter, she was gonna kill him. "Nah Excel, I think Buffy needs to get back home. Slayer stuff, you know. No rest for the heroes!"
"Yeah, I figured! Hey Bart, next time you fly through his world, bring Ash here to visit. Bet we could get the Food Supplies in the entire shelter with L'il Bro's pokemon to help!"
Visions of fire and cows and pantlessness danced in Buffy's head as she vaguely heard Bart's affirmative. As long as she wasn't here for it, she wasn't gonna say anything. "Well, it's been swell, Excel, but Slayering calls. You've got my clothes back at the apartment, right?"
There was a short silence, in which the ACROSS girls looked at each other shiftily, and then Elgala tittered. "I, Elgala, am soooo sorry. They got oh-so-accidentally burned this morning. In a happy bonfire in an alley by these two hands."
Well. At least Kon could stop her from killing Elgala even if he had seen her in the stupid Supergirl outfit again. Silver-lining and all.