Title: The Ass Race
Author: kingbaka22
Rating: PG-13
Universe: canon
Word Count: 745
Warnings: swearing, partial nudity
A/N - wow, this came out fast! But I knew what to write as soon as I saw the prompt. This is a sequel to "How to Tame a Hentai," my entry for Prov 27.
Well, that had certainly been a colossal failure. Sango had removed the beads from Miroku’s wrist after less than a day. The whole point was to deter him from grabbing her ass, not render him permanently unable to sire a child or satisfy a woman. She did want to bear his children one day, and she could admit to herself that she was also very interested in the latter ability as well. Still, she wracked her brain for another solution to her problem.
For Miroku, the removal of the beads was a major strategic victory. He was so ingenious, it was unfair really. He had known Sango would crack first, though it had been a close call both mentally and physically. A handful of strong thumps to the groin had nearly broken his resolve, but now he could indulge in his favorite activity without hindrance. Speaking of which…
“Hentai!”
*Slap*
Sango was at her wit’s end; she could come up with no fair way to challenge him. Anything having to do with spiritual powers he would win easily, and she would kick his ass to the ends of Musashi in any type of hand-to-hand combat. Surprisingly, it was Inuyasha who supplied the answer when he absently suggested they just have a race. After some tough negotiations, the opposing parties agreed on the terms. If Sango won, Miroku would swear not to touch her butt for a month. He was a hentai, but everyone knew that he would honor his word if he was defeated. If the monk won, he would have unimpeded ass-grabbing privileges for a whole month. That was an exceptionally steep price to pay, but it was the only way Sango could get him to agree to participate. She would simply have to make sure it didn’t come to that.
And so preparations began for what Inuyasha colorfully termed “The Ass Race.” It was about two kilometers long, crossing many different types of terrain. It began by the river before rising into some foothills and plunging into a meadow, finally shifting into the forest and finishing at the Goshinboku. The only rule was that neither contestant could stray beyond the marked out trail. Inuyasha would signal the start of the race and follow as referee, and Kagome would wait for them and judge the finish if it was close.
“GO!!!”
And they were off, legs burning as they climbed the sloping hills. Sango found herself with an early lead, but after that Miroku’s longer stride began to tell. By the time they entered the forest, he was a good twenty feet ahead and she was beginning to lose hope. NO! This can’t happen! Desperate, she groped for any idea that might save her, not sparing a second thought when something absolutely crazy popped into her mind.
“Oh, Miroku-kun!” she called in as sultry a voice as she could muster. When the monk glanced back, shock clearly present on his face, she raised both hands and tore open the front of her uniform. Miroku choked, a thin rivulet of drool trailing from his lips and sticking to the back of his robes. Oh, those beautiful breasts, bouncing up and down as she ran, calling to him with a silent siren’s song of pure-
*THUD*
As Miroku stood-if you could call it that-wrapped around the tree, he heard Sango’s footsteps scampering past and fading in the distance. Collapsing backwards, he stared dizzily up at the sky, wondering what the hell just happened. A highly amused hanyou with golden eyes came into his vision, grinning down at him.
“That was…cheating…” he rasped.
“Nope. You lost fair and square. Sango beat you at your own hentai game.” Grimacing, Miroku heaved himself to his feet, knowing that what Inuyasha said was true. Shit…a whole month without Sango’s lovely backside to comfort me. What am I going to do now? Over at Goshinboku, Sango and Kagome were still gabbing excitedly over the recent turn of events.
“Oh Kami, Sango-chan! I can’t believe you just did that!”
“I know! But desperate times call for desperate measures!”
“I can’t believe you were that desp-EEP!!!” Kagome suddenly shrieked, bolting to hide behind the taijiya. Now both women were glaring daggers at Miroku, whose right hand was still twitching in its customary groping position.
“HOUSHI-SAMAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”
“What? You didn’t expect me to go cold turkey, did you?”
“I fucking told you not to touch her!” Inuyasha bellowed. “Oi! Get back here!”