Fic: It's hard to say 'I do', even if you really want to [4/4]
Title: It's hard to say 'I do', even if you really want to [4/4]
Summary: For Patrick it's hard to fall in love while the whole world is watching.
Author: Me
Pairing: Pete/Patrick
Rating: M - I think. Language, sexual actions...
Word count: 1532
Disclaimer: Not true, don't own any of them or the tv show.
Authors notes: Figured it would be a great way to end the year by finish the story. The song in it is Fall for you by Seconhand Serenade, and I know that it doesn't really sound like something Pete would write but let's use our imagination :). I also changed girl to boy in it, felt like that wouldn't fit.. Hope you like it and Happy New Year!
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3
“I’m sorry, I can’t”
Over the next few days Pete kept replaying those words over and over in his head. He had been walking around looking more dead than alive and tried to avoid being in the same room as Patrick. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be close to him it was rather the opposite. Wanting to be too close. They still slept in the same bed but Pete kept to his side, as did Patrick, leaving a distance between them.
Just the other night he had quite a dream about Patrick. Vivid details about everything from touching his lightly blushed cheek, his rising and falling chest, moving further down his sides and feeling Patrick catch his breath, reaching down his pants to wrap his hand around Patrick’s hardening cock and there had been kisses, magic kisses. Only to realize when he woke up that he was lying alone in bed, holding his own hard cock, pleasuring himself in his sleep. He had involuntarily given up on his own idea not to do that on television. He had, of course, finished what he started. No point in turning back.
Luckily for the rest of the house Pete wasn’t the one to mope around for long. After another week or so he had returned to the same person he had been before that night. Or so it seemed to everyone else. Pete had just decided to not let it show around everyone else. He still longed for Patrick, even more than before if that was possible.
Patrick had just been glued to the guitar during this time. He had turned all his emotions into singing heartbreaking love songs for anyone that wanted to listen. And for those who didn’t too. He didn’t really care, he just knew he had to get it all out of him. All the feelings he was repressing, trying not to feel. They felt less real if he sang about them, pretending they we’re just lyrics written by someone else for someone else. That he had no connection whatsoever to them.
Wherever he was or whatever he was doing all he could think about was Pete. The way he talked, the way he smelled, how it used to feel having his warm body next to his, how his laugh always made Patrick smile and how his breath had felt on his skin when they had been standing really close.
-
As the weeks had passed the two had gone back to the kind of friends they where in the beginning. The distance in bed had slowly closed together and now they slept as close as any regular couple does. Just that they weren’t a couple, they were just friends.
That was the story they told everyone in the house and during the live shows. No one really bought that story seeing how Pete and Patrick stole glances at each other all the time and some how could communicate without talking. In the middle of the night they could be found in the living room, sitting on the floor making music. Pete had turned out to be an exquisite writer and together with Patrick’s melodies they created amazing songs.
It wasn’t that the feelings they had felt had disappeared, they both felt them as much as before but neither one of them wanted to risk the great friendships they had built up. For Patrick it felt great having someone in the house that could make him forget about the cameras. Every day he became more comfortable and showed more and more of himself not only to Pete but to all the viewers.
-
Somehow both Pete and Patrick where still in the house when the show starting coming to an end. With only four contestants left Pete started getting antsy and bored with it all. They had already discussed everything there was possible to talk about, read the few books there was and now there was nothing else to do. Pete did have one thing he really wanted to do, but he was positive that Patrick wouldn’t want to participate in that activity.
Patrick was sitting on the couch strumming the guitar and humming incoherently while looking down at a crumpled paper lying on the coffee table. Suddenly he stopped, blushed and frowned.
“Pete!” he called out loudly. “Get in here.
Pete came in walking slowly eating out of a bag of Cheetos.
“What?” While he spoke little orange crumbs flew out of his mouth and landed on the paper and grease stains started forming right away.
“What do you mean with these lyrics? Don’t tell me they are about what I think they are and if they are, I’m not going to use them”. Patrick pushed the paper towards Pete and looked straight at him with eyes filled with both hope and disbelief.
“I think you already know the answer, Trick”
Patrick melted on the inside when he heard Pete use the nickname he had made up.
“I can’t sing them, you know that. They’re great but…”
Pete interrupted “But what? You know what, fuck it. I’m done doing this thing, this dance around what we’re feeling.” Pete’s eyes were blazing with passion, turning a few shades darker than normally.
Patrick looked down, sighed and breathed out the air in little ragged puffs. Turning his hand around the neck of the guitar and waited for Pete to continue. But there was nothing but silence. He finally looked up at Pete.
“What do you want from me, Pete?”
Pete’s features softened and his eyes radiated of hope and sincerity along with the passion from before.
“I want you. I love you”
With those last words Pete walked away and left Patrick looking at the empty spot he had been standing just a second ago. Patrick could feel his eyes tearing up, the way he remembered them doing when he was a small child. The only difference was that he had no one to go to now, because the person he would normally turn to was the one causing them.
He stayed on the couch with his thoughts racing trough his mind at a 100 miles an hour. The one thing that kept coming back to him was how he didn’t want to loose Pete. He couldn’t imagine getting out of this house and never seeing Pete again. There was a wrestling game in his head between his fear of coming out and the ecstatic happiness he knew he would feel being together with Pete. He was torn and really had no idea what he would do. He picked up the guitar once again and started playing.
-
Later that night Patrick was walking over to the bed he and Pete shared. He was carrying the guitar and sat down carefully on the edge. Pete turned towards him and was on his way to start talking when Patrick put a finger against his lips and shushed him. Pete fell silent and watched Patrick with anticipation. Patrick started playing and then sang, looking deeply into Pete’s eyes.
“I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a boy like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed but I have loved you from the start”
Pete sat up straight when he heard the melody to the words he had written. Once Patrick let the chords fade out they sat in silence for what seemed like forever. Pete was the first one to move, sliding his hand over Patrick’s that was resting on the bed. Patrick glanced down and swallowed hard. Pete inched closer and was soon sitting right next to him.
Patrick could hear his blood rushing through his veins, making his heart beat faster and he knew that now there was no turning back. From now on he would not be the same person, all thanks to Pete and everything he made him feel.
Pete smiled and leaned towards Patrick and before he could blink he felt Pete’s lips on his own. The soft kisses sent Patrick’s head spinning and everything around him melted away. Pete nibbled on his bottom lip and Patrick moaned. Patrick ran his fingers through Pete’s hair, pulling him closer. The kisses deepened and when they finally broke away they were both breathing heavily. Pete smiled at him and rested his head on Patrick’s shoulder, snuggled close to his neck.
Patrick was trembling and tried to catch his breath. Pete sat up and Patrick reached out and swept his bangs out of Pete’s eyes leaving his hand touching his cheek. Pete turned his head slightly and kissed the palm of the hand. Patrick inhaled deeply and when he breathed out he brought a few words with him.
“I love you too, Pete”
.