Title: Breathe

[intra_linear]

*smacks self on head* It's slightly yaoi, or could be interpreted that way... SasuNaru, if you want it to bend that way. It's the fight when Sasuke's all like, "Naruto, dumping you for Orochimaru, he's totally teh smexorz," and it's been a while since I read that, so I may be off on a bunch of things

Comments

[crystalweaver]

If my icons can inspire you to write such beautiful Naruto one-shots, I should post my icons more often. ♥

I thought this was breathtaking. The diction, the imagery... This part, especially, made me go "wow":

The first blow was like a kiss--soft and tender as a breath as it whistled past him. The second was hard and desperate as he doubled over, gasping.

Then they came, like a soft summer rain, one after another and as sharp as hail.

That was when the metaphors ended, because he wanted to kill.

Just one thing: you might want to go back and reread it once because I noticed a lot of typos and they kind of disrupt the flow while reading. But still, beautiful. ♥