Question on emotional commitments

[athenaltena]

A conversation I just had with my Mom got me thinking about something that's been in the back of my mind for a while

Comments

sounds reasonable..

[tricstmr]

It's not how I was my senior year.. I actually sort of came out of my shell that year and gained a bunch of confidence socially.. but I don't see your position as strange at all..

In any case.. I'd be extremely cautious in putting any real weight into the opinions expressed by your mom in the few months before you move across the state away from her. My mom literally became a nut case because some part of her couldn't accept this upcoming loss (it got exponentially worse the closer the date came..) and so worries about "no social life" could just quite as easily, have been worries "about the kind of people you are hanging out with" if you did have a social life..

Re: sounds reasonable..

[athenaltena]

There's that too, and the empty nest syndrome is already setting in while I'm still in the house, so it wouldn't surprise me if that reaction was at least part due to that.

I think I actually have gained quite a bit of confidence this year (having courses that are actually challenging certainly helps) but it's at least in part that I never really felt comfortable in the high school environment in the first place.

[dark_ranger]

I personally gained a lot of confidence now that I am in college compared to HS. I currently commute to a community college.

Even though I am more social, I've made mabye one or two actual friends. I think INTJs have a hard time, at least I do, making emotional commitments.

[vix]

For the past several months I've fairly steadfastly avoided most social commitments unless they were with my best friend because I didn't want to cultivate new friendships in an area I'd be moving far away from soon.

As an INTJ, it makes perfect sense to me. I have like nothing going on this weekend except dinner plans tomorrow and I have no problem with my social lameness. And may I say it is really nice to be an older INTJ because this was a much bigger problem for people to contemplate when I was in my mid-20s!

Re: sounds reasonable..

[athenaltena]

Heh, my age probably has something to do with it. I just get bored doing stuff like hanging around and doing nothing, and while it's nice now and then it's not essential to my well being. I think my ENFP mother just has a hard time grasping that since it's fairly obvious that social interaction is vital to her, but we're just wired differently.

Re: sounds reasonable..

[siderea]

I can't speak to usual, but it sounds reasonable to me. If you're not missing it, it's not a problem.

Re: sounds reasonable..

[herwonderfulday]

If you're not missing it, it's not a problem.

Exactly.

[katayla]

I was like that, too. I don't think it's a problem unless it bothers you.