Prose : King Ianto's Coffee Club
Inspired by this document over at Torchwood.org
Ianto’s only taken two steps into the reception when he knows something’s up. It’s an instinct, ingrained and finely honed, formed from months of Owen and Jack’s practical jokes. There’s a sort of presence in the air, one that he can’t describe, but it is real and it is here now. He bends down to pick up the post, drops the letters on the desk, takes off his coat and hangs it in the back room, before returning to the reception and raising an eyebrow at the room before him.
And then he sees it, a printed document with a post-it note stuck neatly on the front, placed neatly on his keyboard.
He laughs to himself, crosses his arms and then uncrosses them and puts his hands on his hips as he stares at the little piece of paper. Grinning at the floor before looking up, Ianto walks to the center of his desk and reads the little post-it note which is written in Jack’s neat handwriting.
For everlasting peace and damn fine coffee join King Ianto’s Coffee Club.
“Jack...” Ianto sticks the note on the wall behind him and turns to the documents underneath. He looks around the office before casually picking the papers up and thumbing through them, his smile growing ever larger with each page turned until at last he comes to a particularly interesting document.
Ianto laughs loudly, hoping against hope that no one should see him else he will have ruined his reputation as a professional for life.
It’s the beginning of something, he thinks, but he’s never quite sure what that something is with Jack.
This time, he’s eager to find out.
------
When Ianto brings down the coffees, Jack, Gwen and Tosh are huddled around Jack’s desk. They break apart as soon as his soft footsteps ring out on the metal staircase, and despite their backs to Owen, their feeble attempts at hiding whatever’s on the desk, Ianto still sees the smooth glide of paper and the shutting of drawer as he comes nearer.
“Is everything okay?”
“Perfectly, Ianto,” Owen says, quickly taking a coffee off the tray and giving Jack a sideward look as he sips it. Gwen and Tosh offer their thanks to Ianto, and as they take their coffees, both look a little sheepish.
“You sure?”
“Two sugars,” says Jack, looking into his drink. He raises his eyes but not his head and smiles wickedly. “Trying to sweeten me up?”
Ianto casts another look at everyone. The whole team look shiftily at each other before finding reasons to go back to there respective desks. Ianto frowns before taking Jack’s empty cup off him. “You taste sweet enough already,” he says under his breath, as innocently as he can whilst eyeing Jack’s crotch. Jack laughs loud enough for the whole team to look up towards his office.
“I’ll find out,” Ianto adds, raising his eyebrow a little. “Whatever you’re up to, Jack, I’ll find out.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
Ianto walks away shaking his head and realising that the missions in Torchwood aren’t all to do with aliens and futuristic tech.
------
He finds the stamp three days later, when he’s almost forgotten about that first document. It’s neatly printed in the corner of a letter requesting his presence at a meeting in the boardroom at 1500 hours, and underneath lies Jack’s signature; even that seems to have a tilting grace to it, as though even his name is smirking.
Ianto hands Jack his coffee that morning, unable to ignore the sly smile on Jack’s lips and the promise of discovery that lingers in the air.
------
------
Slightly creased, falling limply and looking much as though its day has gone, sits a paper hat. Ianto eyes it up like some sort of alien when he walks into work two days later. The small tissue crown sits in the center of his desk and, despite it being such a small thing, seems to take up most of his personal space.
Ianto warily pokes it.
The hat flops over onto its side, having finally found peace in death, and in the middle of the pointed red thing is that unmistakable symbol from before with words written around it.
King Ianto’s Coffee Club
T.O.R.C.H.W.O.O.D
Underneath the hat, a yellow piece of paper juts out. Ianto gingerly picks up the hat and reads the post-it note stuck to his desk.
One has to wonder what one has to do to become a member.
Ianto pulls up his email screen and begins to type.
------
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:20 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: Requirements
The Requirements needed to become a Coffee Club member
1. Must place coffee above all other beverages.
2. Needs knowledge in the area of beans, that is to say COFFEE beans in particular.
3. Coffee must be enjoyed to the full, the art of drinking it in accordance to a time when one can relax and appreciate the brew to the full.
4. Starbucks is not the answer to all. In fact... Starbucks the cause of all problems.
5. A biscuit, whilst in some cases thought to be contamination, can in fact add to the pleasure and is recommended for occasional drinking.
6. Coffee is a solution to all problems. Remember this is your hour of need.
7. To get the coffee is to have the highest job in an office. Remember this also.
8. You must have a good coffee mug in order to join the club. A cheap, shallow job will not be acceptable.
9. Remember the coffee day, and to keep it holy. (Read; coffee day = every day.)
10. A love of coffee, and only coffee, is a must. Tea worshipers shall be prosecuted.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:24 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
You forgot point 11;
The respect and lusting after the tea-boy is a vital requirement needed to ensure the success of a coffee club.
Come, come now, Ianto. And you’re meant to be the king of this club.
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:28 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Come, come now your highness, I believe that should’ve been.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:34 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Attachment: jim.jpg
I bet this guy is your royal highness’s dream man. Look at him. All... holding his coffee.
img attachment: jim.jpg
message attachment: Say, Hi Jim!
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:37 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: RE: Requirements
A wet dream, Sir. A hot, sweet, wet dream.
Don’t play dirty, Jack. You’ve taught me every trick in the book.
P.S You are insane.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:42 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Oh yeah? I’ll show you how to play dirty.
------
Delivered to Ianto Jones’ desk at 1630 hours;
Can you think of other ways to play dirty? J
------
“Oi, Ianto?”
Ianto looks up from his desk as Owen comes through the door the next day. There’s a grin stretching from ear to ear and if Ianto didn’t know better he’d go as far as to say that Owen was actually happy about something.
“Owen, light of my life, what can I get you?”
“Jack wants you in his office, now.” Owen smiles wickedly again. “Checked the post this morning?”
Ianto watches through narrowed eyes as Owen walks away sniggering to himself, before flicking through the post and pausing on one particular item, a post card addressed to himself. He rolls his eyes and heads to the hub, to Jack, and to answers.
-------
-------
The postcard flutters onto the desk as Ianto throws it towards Jack. His captain smiles, all innocence and childish glee, and Ianto has to purse his lips to stop from smiling.
“Your idea I presume?”
“Owens actually but my how ingenious that man is.”
Jack skims a similar looking postcard towards Ianto who doesn’t reach out for it.
“You’re so childish.”
“You love it.”
Ianto smirks softly. “It’s 6 o’clock. I’m guessing that people are going home soon, sir. I think the king needs some convincing as to whether this idea’s a good one or not.”
Laughing, Jack stands and walks toward Ianto, placing an arm around his shoulders and patting him heartily. They walk out of the door together, postcards left on the desk. They’re just into the hub when Jack turns very seriously to Ianto and looks into his eyes. Ianto can’t help stop the grin that appears upon Jack’s words.
“So... have you thought any more about coffee mornings?”
-------
-------
Ianto’s only taken two steps into the reception when he knows something’s up. It’s an instinct, ingrained and finely honed, formed from months of Owen and Jack’s practical jokes. There’s a sort of presence in the air, one that he can’t describe, but it is real and it is here now. He bends down to pick up the post, drops the letters on the desk, takes off his coat and hangs it in the back room, before returning to the reception and raising an eyebrow at the room before him.
And then he sees it, a printed document with a post-it note stuck neatly on the front, placed neatly on his keyboard.
He laughs to himself, crosses his arms and then uncrosses them and puts his hands on his hips as he stares at the little piece of paper. Grinning at the floor before looking up, Ianto walks to the center of his desk and reads the little post-it note which is written in Jack’s neat handwriting.
For everlasting peace and damn fine coffee join King Ianto’s Coffee Club.
“Jack...” Ianto sticks the note on the wall behind him and turns to the documents underneath. He looks around the office before casually picking the papers up and thumbing through them, his smile growing ever larger with each page turned until at last he comes to a particularly interesting document.
Ianto laughs loudly, hoping against hope that no one should see him else he will have ruined his reputation as a professional for life.
It’s the beginning of something, he thinks, but he’s never quite sure what that something is with Jack.
This time, he’s eager to find out.
------
When Ianto brings down the coffees, Jack, Gwen and Tosh are huddled around Jack’s desk. They break apart as soon as his soft footsteps ring out on the metal staircase, and despite their backs to Owen, their feeble attempts at hiding whatever’s on the desk, Ianto still sees the smooth glide of paper and the shutting of drawer as he comes nearer.
“Is everything okay?”
“Perfectly, Ianto,” Owen says, quickly taking a coffee off the tray and giving Jack a sideward look as he sips it. Gwen and Tosh offer their thanks to Ianto, and as they take their coffees, both look a little sheepish.
“You sure?”
“Two sugars,” says Jack, looking into his drink. He raises his eyes but not his head and smiles wickedly. “Trying to sweeten me up?”
Ianto casts another look at everyone. The whole team look shiftily at each other before finding reasons to go back to there respective desks. Ianto frowns before taking Jack’s empty cup off him. “You taste sweet enough already,” he says under his breath, as innocently as he can whilst eyeing Jack’s crotch. Jack laughs loud enough for the whole team to look up towards his office.
“I’ll find out,” Ianto adds, raising his eyebrow a little. “Whatever you’re up to, Jack, I’ll find out.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“Good.”
“Great.”
Ianto walks away shaking his head and realising that the missions in Torchwood aren’t all to do with aliens and futuristic tech.
------
He finds the stamp three days later, when he’s almost forgotten about that first document. It’s neatly printed in the corner of a letter requesting his presence at a meeting in the boardroom at 1500 hours, and underneath lies Jack’s signature; even that seems to have a tilting grace to it, as though even his name is smirking.
Ianto hands Jack his coffee that morning, unable to ignore the sly smile on Jack’s lips and the promise of discovery that lingers in the air.
------
------
Slightly creased, falling limply and looking much as though its day has gone, sits a paper hat. Ianto eyes it up like some sort of alien when he walks into work two days later. The small tissue crown sits in the center of his desk and, despite it being such a small thing, seems to take up most of his personal space.
Ianto warily pokes it.
The hat flops over onto its side, having finally found peace in death, and in the middle of the pointed red thing is that unmistakable symbol from before with words written around it.
King Ianto’s Coffee Club
T.O.R.C.H.W.O.O.D
Underneath the hat, a yellow piece of paper juts out. Ianto gingerly picks up the hat and reads the post-it note stuck to his desk.
One has to wonder what one has to do to become a member.
Ianto pulls up his email screen and begins to type.
------
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:20 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: Requirements
The Requirements needed to become a Coffee Club member
1. Must place coffee above all other beverages.
2. Needs knowledge in the area of beans, that is to say COFFEE beans in particular.
3. Coffee must be enjoyed to the full, the art of drinking it in accordance to a time when one can relax and appreciate the brew to the full.
4. Starbucks is not the answer to all. In fact... Starbucks the cause of all problems.
5. A biscuit, whilst in some cases thought to be contamination, can in fact add to the pleasure and is recommended for occasional drinking.
6. Coffee is a solution to all problems. Remember this is your hour of need.
7. To get the coffee is to have the highest job in an office. Remember this also.
8. You must have a good coffee mug in order to join the club. A cheap, shallow job will not be acceptable.
9. Remember the coffee day, and to keep it holy. (Read; coffee day = every day.)
10. A love of coffee, and only coffee, is a must. Tea worshipers shall be prosecuted.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:24 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
You forgot point 11;
The respect and lusting after the tea-boy is a vital requirement needed to ensure the success of a coffee club.
Come, come now, Ianto. And you’re meant to be the king of this club.
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:28 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Come, come now your highness, I believe that should’ve been.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:34 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Attachment: jim.jpg
I bet this guy is your royal highness’s dream man. Look at him. All... holding his coffee.
img attachment: jim.jpg
message attachment: Say, Hi Jim!
To: "Jack Harkness"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:37 PM
From: "Ianto Jones"
Subject: RE: Requirements
A wet dream, Sir. A hot, sweet, wet dream.
Don’t play dirty, Jack. You’ve taught me every trick in the book.
P.S You are insane.
To: "Ianto Jones"
Sent: Thursday, November 15th, 2007 15:42 PM
From: "Jack Harkness"
Subject: RE: Requirements
Oh yeah? I’ll show you how to play dirty.
------
Delivered to Ianto Jones’ desk at 1630 hours;
Can you think of other ways to play dirty? J
------
“Oi, Ianto?”
Ianto looks up from his desk as Owen comes through the door the next day. There’s a grin stretching from ear to ear and if Ianto didn’t know better he’d go as far as to say that Owen was actually happy about something.
“Owen, light of my life, what can I get you?”
“Jack wants you in his office, now.” Owen smiles wickedly again. “Checked the post this morning?”
Ianto watches through narrowed eyes as Owen walks away sniggering to himself, before flicking through the post and pausing on one particular item, a post card addressed to himself. He rolls his eyes and heads to the hub, to Jack, and to answers.
-------
-------
The postcard flutters onto the desk as Ianto throws it towards Jack. His captain smiles, all innocence and childish glee, and Ianto has to purse his lips to stop from smiling.
“Your idea I presume?”
“Owens actually but my how ingenious that man is.”
Jack skims a similar looking postcard towards Ianto who doesn’t reach out for it.
“You’re so childish.”
“You love it.”
Ianto smirks softly. “It’s 6 o’clock. I’m guessing that people are going home soon, sir. I think the king needs some convincing as to whether this idea’s a good one or not.”
Laughing, Jack stands and walks toward Ianto, placing an arm around his shoulders and patting him heartily. They walk out of the door together, postcards left on the desk. They’re just into the hub when Jack turns very seriously to Ianto and looks into his eyes. Ianto can’t help stop the grin that appears upon Jack’s words.
“So... have you thought any more about coffee mornings?”
-------
-------