Mine For Life [Bam/Ryan]
Disclaimer: Not Mine. (I’ve typed that so much it hurts)
AN: Still going through serious writers block, so this might suck.
Summary: I’ve never been able to stop loving you Bam, but sometimes I don’t like you that much.
Set to the song ‘Mine for Life’ by the awesomeness that is ‘The Sounds’.
Mine For Life
Do you ever realise how much pain you cause? Do you ever just stop and consider who you’re hurting and what you do to people? I honestly doubt that you do. So long as you’re having fun, and the ratings are up and everyone is laughing, you don’t care, do you?
Man I’m in trouble, just so I can see clear. My head is pounding harder and you’re not here, never here.
You fly off around the world, watching gigs and doing demos, you usually take Jenn and either Dico or Raab. I know why you do it. You want me to stay here, hang out with Novak and contemplate how much I miss you. Because you think that’ll make me stay, because if I miss you so much for those few days or weeks that you’re gone, I wouldn’t be able to cope with you being away from me for good.
I’ve had it once, but not anymore, and now I am tired and I am bored, I’m so bored.
You never seem to think that people don’t like you. That someone could ever hold something against you. That’s why we don’t see Knoxville much; he honestly can’t stand how bratty you are. Ehren hates you, and I suppose that’s more your fault than you know, you never once gave the guy a break. And now, now I’m starting to dislike you. I’m starting to hate my best friend.
but sometimes, sometimes you make me forget it all, you make me think that it’s all just a little flaw in your character, that it’s not the worst thing in the world and that we can get by that. Like when you go all sentimental, remembering dates and special occasions, places we did things and places that hold good memories. Sometimes your considerate, sometimes you’re caring. It’s one of the major reasons that I know, I’m hooked. And I don’t think I’ll ever want to break free.
I could never leave you, even though I tried, no I could never leave you, cause you are mine for life
I know that I’m in love with you, I don’t know if you’re in love with me or if this is just a game or an infatuation, or just another way for you to keep people close or away. But just because I love you, and you think you love me, it doesn’t mean everything’s fine. Nothing’s fine right now, and that’s why I’m here, in this hotel room with this unfamiliar person.
Short dark hair spanning over the pillow, soft blue eyes hid under closed eyelids and guarded by long dark lashes. Supply curves and a boyish frame, all pale and tattooed. She’s so like you that it’s scary, even her name, Cam, one letter away from being yours, so simple for me to just forget who it was and get lost. That was the point. I was supposed to be proving to myself that I didn’t really need you.
But here I am, with a female version of you, and it’s nothing like what we have, it doesn’t hold a candle to you, and I’m scared that it’s all I can do from falling completely and hopelessly.
I’ve been lost, I’ve been found, I’ve been fooling around.
I’ve been home, I’ve been told, I’ve been changing my mind.
I’ve been up, I’ve been down, come on in take your time.
I’ve been low, I’ve been high, I’m in love with this lie.
That’s all this is, isn’t it? A lie, a nice, comfortable, secret lie. Because no one knows about us, no one but Jenn.
You asked me if I would mind you staying with her while we started our relationship. I said whatever made you happy. So Jenn stayed for the most part, until you admitted that you didn’t like lying to her, that you didn’t like sneaking from your bed with her to mine and then back to her. That you wanted to stay with me all night, and not worry about hurting Jenn.
So we told her, together, and she accepted it. She stuck around for a while but I knew she was mad at me, that I had taken you from her. She doesn’t realise that I did her a favour. She’s free to find someone who doesn’t break up with her every other month, someone she doesn’t scream at or someone who she’s not worried will cheat on her.
It’s good that she’s moving on with her life, she probably realised by now that you guys just weren’t meant for one another.
Do you feel the same?
It wears me out again.
You know, you’ve never actually said those three words that I just know would keep me her for good. You can’t bring yourself to lie like that, can you?
Did you tell Jenn that at all? Did you lie to her in that way? Or did you really love her at one point? All those years, you probably did.
I know you care…but love? I can’t see you loving me, I honestly can’t. so why on earth am I still waiting for you? Why do I keep coming back?
I turn up home, enter the house and see Dico, smiling and going on about something. So you’re home, back from whatever country the demo was in this time. I get a smile from Bran and a wave from Ape before they turn back to what they were doing.
Bring me up, just to kick me down,
Fix me up, just to kick me down.
Bring me down, yeah.
I enter our room, although I still have my own, I’m rarely there. You’re smiling as you throw some clothes in the closet, humming some tune and I just watch, seeing you at peace, which is a rare occurrence. And then you turn and smile and walk towards me, leaving everything you were doing.
Your arms wrap around my waist, your head in resting on my shoulder and your nose nuzzling my neck. I feel you whisper ‘I missed you’ more than I hear you and I wonder if maybe you do this as much for yourself as you do for me. To show yourself that maybe you need me as much as I need you, that you want me too.
I smile softly and place a kiss to your head, holding you to me tightly. Maybe you do love me, maybe I’m just a fool.
Or maybe you just know how to play me.
-
End.
-
Writers block sucks ass.
Kill me, I’m fading…or you could just give me some feedback.
AN: Still going through serious writers block, so this might suck.
Summary: I’ve never been able to stop loving you Bam, but sometimes I don’t like you that much.
Set to the song ‘Mine for Life’ by the awesomeness that is ‘The Sounds’.
Mine For Life
Do you ever realise how much pain you cause? Do you ever just stop and consider who you’re hurting and what you do to people? I honestly doubt that you do. So long as you’re having fun, and the ratings are up and everyone is laughing, you don’t care, do you?
Man I’m in trouble, just so I can see clear. My head is pounding harder and you’re not here, never here.
You fly off around the world, watching gigs and doing demos, you usually take Jenn and either Dico or Raab. I know why you do it. You want me to stay here, hang out with Novak and contemplate how much I miss you. Because you think that’ll make me stay, because if I miss you so much for those few days or weeks that you’re gone, I wouldn’t be able to cope with you being away from me for good.
I’ve had it once, but not anymore, and now I am tired and I am bored, I’m so bored.
You never seem to think that people don’t like you. That someone could ever hold something against you. That’s why we don’t see Knoxville much; he honestly can’t stand how bratty you are. Ehren hates you, and I suppose that’s more your fault than you know, you never once gave the guy a break. And now, now I’m starting to dislike you. I’m starting to hate my best friend.
but sometimes, sometimes you make me forget it all, you make me think that it’s all just a little flaw in your character, that it’s not the worst thing in the world and that we can get by that. Like when you go all sentimental, remembering dates and special occasions, places we did things and places that hold good memories. Sometimes your considerate, sometimes you’re caring. It’s one of the major reasons that I know, I’m hooked. And I don’t think I’ll ever want to break free.
I could never leave you, even though I tried, no I could never leave you, cause you are mine for life
I know that I’m in love with you, I don’t know if you’re in love with me or if this is just a game or an infatuation, or just another way for you to keep people close or away. But just because I love you, and you think you love me, it doesn’t mean everything’s fine. Nothing’s fine right now, and that’s why I’m here, in this hotel room with this unfamiliar person.
Short dark hair spanning over the pillow, soft blue eyes hid under closed eyelids and guarded by long dark lashes. Supply curves and a boyish frame, all pale and tattooed. She’s so like you that it’s scary, even her name, Cam, one letter away from being yours, so simple for me to just forget who it was and get lost. That was the point. I was supposed to be proving to myself that I didn’t really need you.
But here I am, with a female version of you, and it’s nothing like what we have, it doesn’t hold a candle to you, and I’m scared that it’s all I can do from falling completely and hopelessly.
I’ve been lost, I’ve been found, I’ve been fooling around.
I’ve been home, I’ve been told, I’ve been changing my mind.
I’ve been up, I’ve been down, come on in take your time.
I’ve been low, I’ve been high, I’m in love with this lie.
That’s all this is, isn’t it? A lie, a nice, comfortable, secret lie. Because no one knows about us, no one but Jenn.
You asked me if I would mind you staying with her while we started our relationship. I said whatever made you happy. So Jenn stayed for the most part, until you admitted that you didn’t like lying to her, that you didn’t like sneaking from your bed with her to mine and then back to her. That you wanted to stay with me all night, and not worry about hurting Jenn.
So we told her, together, and she accepted it. She stuck around for a while but I knew she was mad at me, that I had taken you from her. She doesn’t realise that I did her a favour. She’s free to find someone who doesn’t break up with her every other month, someone she doesn’t scream at or someone who she’s not worried will cheat on her.
It’s good that she’s moving on with her life, she probably realised by now that you guys just weren’t meant for one another.
Do you feel the same?
It wears me out again.
You know, you’ve never actually said those three words that I just know would keep me her for good. You can’t bring yourself to lie like that, can you?
Did you tell Jenn that at all? Did you lie to her in that way? Or did you really love her at one point? All those years, you probably did.
I know you care…but love? I can’t see you loving me, I honestly can’t. so why on earth am I still waiting for you? Why do I keep coming back?
I turn up home, enter the house and see Dico, smiling and going on about something. So you’re home, back from whatever country the demo was in this time. I get a smile from Bran and a wave from Ape before they turn back to what they were doing.
Bring me up, just to kick me down,
Fix me up, just to kick me down.
Bring me down, yeah.
I enter our room, although I still have my own, I’m rarely there. You’re smiling as you throw some clothes in the closet, humming some tune and I just watch, seeing you at peace, which is a rare occurrence. And then you turn and smile and walk towards me, leaving everything you were doing.
Your arms wrap around my waist, your head in resting on my shoulder and your nose nuzzling my neck. I feel you whisper ‘I missed you’ more than I hear you and I wonder if maybe you do this as much for yourself as you do for me. To show yourself that maybe you need me as much as I need you, that you want me too.
I smile softly and place a kiss to your head, holding you to me tightly. Maybe you do love me, maybe I’m just a fool.
Or maybe you just know how to play me.
-
End.
-
Writers block sucks ass.
Kill me, I’m fading…or you could just give me some feedback.