.you look gorgeous
A SHERLOCK HOLMES REVIEW IN QUOTES
Celebrating the love that is Mr & Mrs Holmes/Watson
All quotes lovingly taken from the script, which quite obviously isn't mine.
[HOLMES is struggling with an assailant when WATSON appears and holds him from behind. HOLMES and WATSON try to suffocate him]
WATSON: I like the hat.
HOLMES: Oh, I just picked it up.
WATSON: Did you remember your revolver?
HOLMES: Ah! Knew I'd forgot something. Thought I'd left the stove on.
WATSON: You did.
[man goes limp in their grasp]
HOLMES: I think that's quite enough.
[WATSON looks curiously at the corpse in his arms]
HOLMES: You are a doctor after all.
[WATSON allows the dead body to fall to the ground, HOLMES and WATSON shake hands]
HOLMES: Always nice to see you, Watson.
Right from the get go you have this wonderful chemistry between the two. Straight away we get a feeling of them being exceptionally close (sharing quarters), and generally looking out for each another. I've always been a fan of this relationship but (and the staunch fanatical Conan Doyle lovers may lynch me for saying this,) I think the relationship is done exactly how it should be.
WATSON: Permission to enter the armory?
HOLMES: Granted. [revolver fires] Watson. I am in the process of inventing a device that suppresses the sound of a gunshot.
WATSON: [walks to window, draws the curtains]
HOLMES: [shields eyes from sun] It's not working.
WATSON: Oh! Can I see that? [takes the revolver from HOLMES] You know, it's been three months since your last case.
HOLMES: Watson, gently. Gently, Watson, be gentle with me-- !
WATSON: [throws open another set of curtains]
HOLMES: [shouts]
WATSON: Don't you think it's time you found another one?
HOLMES: [crawling across the floor] I can't but agree. My mind rebels at stagnation, give me problems, give me work. The sooner the better.
WATSON: Paper. [hands HOLMES the newspaper] Let's see, then. There's a letter from Mrs. Grahamsie of... Queen's Park. Her husband's disappeared.
HOLMES: He's in Belgium with the scullery maid. Is it November?
WATSON: Yes, Holmes. Alright. Lady Radford reports-- oh, her emerald bracelet has disappeared.
HOLMES: Insurance swindle. Lord Radford likes fast women and slow ponies. Oh, I see you're the attending physician at Blackwood's hanging.
WATSON: Yes. It was our last case together, and I wanted to see it through to the end.
[meaningful silence ensues]
WATSON: [clears throat]
MRS. HUDSON: [enters with tea]
WATSON: A Mister Louis is seeking the--
HOLMES: There's only one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings. They appear most. Sinister.
MRS. HUDSON: Tea, Mr. Holmes.
HOLMES: Is it poisoned? Nanny?
MRS. HUDSON: There's enough of that in you already.
HOLMES: Don't touch! Everything is in its proper place, as per usual. Nanny.
MRS. HUDSON: [on her way out, she spots a comatose GLADSTONE] Oh, he's killed the dog. Again.
WATSON: What have you done to Gladstone now? [kneels by the dog]
HOLMES: I was simply testing a new anaesthetic. He doesn't mind.
WATSON: [gets up slowly, turns to HOLMES] Holmes. As your doctor--
HOLMES: He'll be straight as a trivet in no time.
WATSON: As your friend. You've been in this room for two weeks, I insist you have to get out!
HOLMES: There's nothing of interest, for me, out there, on Earth. At all.
WATSON: So you're free this evening?
HOLMES: Absolutely.
WATSON: Dinner?
HOLMES: Wonderful.
WATSON: The Royale?
HOLMES: My favorite.
WATSON: Mary's coming.
HOLMES: [gives WATSON a disbelieving look] Not available.
WATSON: You're meeting her, Holmes!
HOLMES: Have you proposed yet?
WATSON: No, I haven't found the right ring.
HOLMES: Oh, well then it's not official.
WATSON: It's happening. Whether you like it or not. Eight-thirty at the Royale, wear a jacket.
HOLMES: You wear a jacket.
There's something wonderful about the fact that Watson is the only chap who can control the quiet frankly insane Holmes. Even if you ignore the slash it's still upsetting to see Holmes every time he realises that he's losing his partner. He clings onto that hope that Watson will leave "that dreaded woman" in the same way that the audience is meant to. I love that the story's written so that you want Watson to abandon his plans and fight crime all day long with Holmes. It makes every that happens all the more interesting.
MARY: What can you tell about me?
HOLMES: You?
WATSON: I don't think that's--
HOLMES: [glances at WATSON] I don't know that that's--
WATSON: Not at dinner.
HOLMES: Perhaps some other time.
MARY: I insist.
HOLMES: You insist.
WATSON: [to HOLMES] You remember, we discussed this.
HOLMES: [turning to WATSON] The lady insists.
WATSON: [meaningful stare, followed by a small nod]
HOLMES: [slides chair closer to MARY] You are a governess.
MARY: Well done.
WATSON: Yes, well done, shall we? Waiter!
HOLMES: Your student-- is a boy of eight.
MARY: Charlie's seven, actually.
HOLMES: Then he's tall for his age. He flicked ink at you today.
MARY: [to WATSON] Is there ink on my face?
WATSON: There's nothing wrong with your face.
HOLMES: There are two drops on your ear, in fact. India blue's nearly impossible to wash off. Anyway, a very impetuous act by the boy, but you are-- too experienced to react rashly, which is why the lady for whom you work leant you that necklace. River pearls, diamonds, a flawless ruby, hardly-- the gems of a governess. However, the jewels you are not wearing tell us rather more.
WATSON: [sharply] Holmes.
HOLMES: You were engaged. The ring is gone, but the lighter skin where it once sat suggests that you spent some time abroad, you wore it proudly, that is until you were informed of its true value and what it's worth, at which point you broke off the engagement and returned to England for better prospects. [turns to WATSON] A doctor, perhaps.
MARY: [throws glass of wine in HOLMES's face] Right on all counts, Mr. Holmes, apart from one. I didn't leave him. He died.
[MARY leaves]
HOLMES: [sighs]
WATSON: [disappointed tone] Well done, old boy.
I wanted to love Mary, I really did. I almost got there too. But then, well, I didn't. She's very... typical. The female who's there for plot and plot only. She does make the interaction between Holmes and Watson all the better though. There's so much tension in any scene involving the three.
[HOLMES is apparently strumming his violin to a glass container holding several flies. The door opens.]
HOLMES: [stops strumming] Watson.
WATSON: Right. Let's go.
HOLMES: What started merely as an experiment has brought me to the threshold of a monumental discovery. Now, if I play a chromatic scale-- [strums violin] there's no measurable response.
WATSON: [looking at an empty bottle on HOLMES's desk, disapproving] You do know what you're drinking is meant for eye surgery.
HOLMES: But! Now. And this is remarkable. If I change to atonal clusters-- [strums violin] Voila. They fly in counter-clockwise, synchronized, concentric circles as though a regimented flock. Watson, this is exceptional. I, using musical theory, have created order out of chaos.
WATSON: [staring at the glass] How did you lure them in?
HOLMES: Excellent question. Individually. [secretive voice] I've been at it for six hours.
WATSON: And what happens if I do this? [removes top from the container, taps the glass with his cane; the flies fly out]
HOLMES: Right.
WATSON: Clean yourself up. You are Blackwood's last request.
There's not really a lot to say about this scene. I just think that they both look absolutely beautiful. That, combined with Watson's concern about Holmes' health, makes it a winner for me. :D
HOLMES: [looking at the new construction that is Tower Bridge] What an industrious empire.
WATSON: Hm.
HOLMES: Oh, I have your winnings from last night. You weren't there, so I made your-- customary bet.
WATSON: [reaches for the bills]
HOLMES: [pulls them from him] You're right. I'll keep it with your checkbook, locked safely away in my drawer.
WATSON: [scowls, looks away from HOLMES]
HOLMES: Did you know the opera house is featuring Don Giovanni? I could easily procure a couple of tickets if you had any cultural inclinations this evening.
WATSON: [sighs]
HOLMES: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson.
WATSON: [looks sideways at HOLMES]
HOLMES: It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.
WATSON: [punches HOLMES swiftly]
HOLMES: [holding a handkerchief to his nose] Ah!
WATSON: I knew she'd been engaged. She'd told me.
HOLMES: So that's no to the opera, then.
WATSON: [looks out the window]
HOLMES: [reaches for a waistcoat beside WATSON]
WATSON: That was my waistcoat.
HOLMES: I thought we agreed it's too small for you.
WATSON: I'd like it back.
HOLMES: I thought we agreed.
WATSON: [grabs for it] I want it back.
HOLMES: [lets go after a moment]
WATSON: [throws it out of the carriage window]
HOLMES: [looks defeated]
WATSON: [grins to self]
This. This. CULTURAL INCLINATIONS. WHAT OTHER ONES DOES WATSON HAVE, HOLMES, HMM?
POLICEMAN: This way Mr. Holmes.
[HOLMES and WATSON step out of the carriage]
WATSON: Blackwood's certainly seems to have got the crowd into a something of a fear frenzy.
HOLMES: One that's certain to disperse once his feet have stopped twitching. Care to come along?
WATSON: No, you're on your own here, old cock. I've no business with him whilst he's alive.
HOLMES: Suit yourself, mother hen.
This has to be the most wonderful way the word 'cock' has ever been used innocently. And that's all there is to say about that.
HOLMES: This man intrigues me, Watson. He's got Adler on edge.
WATSON: She's no mean feat.
HOLMES: She's intimidated. She's scared of him.
WATSON: Yet she works for him.
HOLMES: Right.
WATSON: It's nothing to do with me but I advise you leave-- the case-- alone.
HOLMES: Well I may not have a choice, Watson. After all, I may be paying the rent on my own soon. Thanks to you.
[HOLMES points his violin bow in WATSON's direction]
WATSON: Get that thing out of my face.
HOLMES: It's not in your face. It's in my hand.
WATSON: Get what's in your hand out of my face.
[someone knocks on the doors; in enters CONSTABLE CLARK]
CLARK: Holmes?
HOLMES: Clarkie!
CLARK: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
HOLMES: What's he done now, lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. "You" means "us."
WATSON: No, "you" means you.
CLARK: It's Lord Blackwood, sir, he, ah-- Well. It appears he's-- come back from the grave, sir.
HOLMES: Most engaging.
WATSON: [disbelieving] Very clever. I pronounced the man dead myself.
HOLMES: What are the facts?
CLARK: Groundskeeper claims he saw him walking through the graveyard just this morning, sir.
WATSON: [pats HOLMES's thigh] I'll leave this in your capable hands. I have an appointment with Mary!
HOLMES: 'S not my reputation that's at stake here.
WATSON: [points finger] Don't try that.
HOLMES: Have the newspapers got wind of it yet?
CLARK: Well, that's what we're trying to avoid, sir.
HOLMES: Certainly. What's the major concern?
CLARK: Panic. Sheer-- bloody panic, sir.
HOLMES: Indeed.
WATSON: You're not taking this seriously, are you, Holmes?
HOLMES: Yes. As you should.
WATSON: [stares at him sceptically]
HOLMES: It's a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell whether a man's dead or not.
I wasn't expecting a wonderfully slashy relationship in the movie because when the movie was first released there were a lot of reviews saying the film was disappointingly dull regarding the romantic nature of their relationship.
I think I watched a different movie.
They're so tactile. There isn't one scene that doesn't see them hugging or fighting or touching or... well, anything for contact really. I approve of this. Much.
WATSON: Who do you think won the match, Clarkie?
CLARK: Sir?
WATSON: The rugby match.
[WATSON points to the ruined crimescene]
WATSON: Your boys have done a magnificent job obliterating any potential evidence.
HOLMES: Yes. But at least they never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
I... mainly included this for prosperity. Because I'm fond of Brompton for obvious reasons.
WATSON: You have to admit, Holmes, that a supernatural explanation to this case is theoretically possible.
HOLMES: Oh, agreed. But. It's a huge mistake to theorise before one has data. Inevitably one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. That said, I believe hapless midget is the key to this. Hmm.
[they begin to walk]
HOLMES: Right. Scratches 'round the keyhole where the watch was wound. What does that tell you?
WATSON: The man was likely a drunk. Every time he wound the watch his hand would slip, hence the scratches.
HOLMES: Yes, very good Watson. You've developed considerable deductive powers of your own. Hm. Now see now, there are several sets of initials scored--
WATSON: --Pawnbrokers marks.
HOLMES: Excellent. Most recent of which are "MH". MH-- MH is for--
[both look up to see shop in front of them]
HOLMES: Maddison and Haig.
WATSON: [simultaneously] Maddison and Haig.
HOLMES: They should be able to give us an address.
WATSON: What a coincidence. [despairing] There's one thing you've failed to deduce from the watch, Holmes.
HOLMES: I think not.
WATSON: The time. I have to get back, Holmes. I'm taking tea with the in-laws.
HOLMES: [appauled] Augh.
FORTUNE TELLER: Reckon your futures, sirs?
HOLMES: Absolutely not.
WATSON: No thank you, ma'am.
FORTUNE TELLER: You need to hear what I have to tell you.
HOLMES: We have no need of your lucky heather, gypsy woman.
FORTUNE TELLER: Even if it's to do with Mary?
WATSON: [frowns, looks back at woman]
FORTUNE TELLER: Oh, oh, I see two men; brothers, not in blood but in bond.
[HOLMES and WATSON look at each other]
WATSON: What of Mary?
FORTUNE TELLER: M for Mary, for marriage. Oh, you will be married--
WATSON: Go on.
FORTUNE TELLER: I see patterned table-clothes and-- oh, china figures and-- oh, lace doilies--
HOLMES: [disgusted] Hm, doilies!
WATSON: Lace-- doilies? [recognising a set-up] Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?
HOLMES: No.
FORTUNE TELLER: Oh! She turns to fat and-- oh, she has a beard and--
HOLMES: [looking to the sky] What of the warts?
FORTUNE TELLER: [feigning horror] Oh, she's covered in warts!
WATSON: Enough. Enough. Enough.
HOLMES: [still looking up, becoming dramatic] Are they extensive?
WATSON: Please, enough!
[HOLMES and FORTUNE TELLER go silent]
HOLMES: It's the most apt prediction Flora's made in years, and precisely the reason you can't find a suitable ring.
WATSON: Do you have my money?
HOLMES: You are terrified of a life without the thrill of the macabre-- Do you really-- ?
WATSON: Do you have my-- ?
HOLMES: Admit it.
WATSON: Give me my money!
HOLMES: Admit it, admit it!
WATSON: Holmes.
[HOLMES follows WATSON's gaze to a sign offering engagement rings for sale]
HOLMES: Ah, I see.
[HOLMES hands over the money]
I won't lie. I couldn't stop laughing at this scene. It's the part where Holmes goes "Are they extensive?!" that gets me. It's like someone has wrapped humour up in a big ball of handsome and shoved it on earth with the name Robert.
[after leaving WATSON, HOLMES tries to break into house; WATSON appears minutes later and kicks door in]
HOLMES: It does make a considerable difference to me, having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
WATSON: Well, you can rely on me for exactly ten minutes.
Watson's very violent in this movie. I think I like it. I think Holmes likes it too.
[HOLMES and FRENCHMAN are in the boat factory fighting; WATSON spies FRENCHMAN attacking at HOLMES who lies seemingly unconscious on the floor]
WATSON: [sees boat in danger of falling; shoots at FRENCHMAN] Holmes!
[WATSON watches as the boat proceeds to slide from the dock into the sea; almost too late he notices the anchor heading for HOLMES who is beginning to come around; dives for HOLMES and protects him as anchor flies passed the both of them; both watch as the factory falls down around them]
HOLMES: Watson, what have you done?
I would quite like a protector as lovely as Watson. I'd also like to sit back to back with a protector as lovely as Watson. But it wouldn't be for protecting reasons. Hm.
[WATSON and HOLMES are sitting in a gaol]
HOLMES: [awakens after falling asleep on WATSON's shoulder]
WATSON: Why I ever believed that I would get to have tea with Mary's parents is beyond me, having been talked into going with you.
HOLMES: We were set upon, man, it was self defense.
WATSON: I've been reviewing my notes on our exploits over the last-- seven months, would you like to know my conclusion?
HOLMES: Uh, if you--
WATSON: I am psychologically disturbed.
HOLMES: How so?
WATSON: Why else would I continually be led into situations where you deliberately withhold your plans from me? Why else?
HOLMES: You've never complained about my-- methods before.
WATSON: I'm not complaining.
HOLMES: You're not? What do you call this?
WATSON: How-- how am I complaining? I never complain, when do I complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning? Or your mess? Your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?
HOLMES: Ah, we have a barter system--
WATSON: When do I complain about you setting fire to my rooms?
HOLMES: Our rooms.
WATSON: The rooms! When do I complain that you experiment on, on my dog--
HOLMES: Our dog.
WATSON: On the-- on the dog!
HOLMES: [simultaneously] Gladstone is our dog.
WATSON: Where I do take issue is your campaign to sabotage my relationship with Mary.
HOLMES: [pause] I understand.
WATSON: Do you?
HOLMES: I do.
WATSON: I don't think you do.
HOLMES: You're overtired.
WATSON: [deflates a little] Yes.
HOLMES: You're feeling a bit sensitive.
WATSON: I'm not sensitive.
HOLMES: What you need is to rest. My brother Mycroft has a small estate near Chichester. Beautiful grounds. There's a folly. We could throw a lamb on the spit--
WATSON: We? Holmes, if I were to go to the country, it would be with my future wife!
HOLMES: Well, certainly, if we must, we can have her along--
WATSON: No, not you, Mary and I, you are not--
HOLMES: What? Invited? Why would I not be invited to my own brother's country home? Watson, now you're not making any sense!
WATSON: [sharply] You're not human!
One of my favourite scenes to have ever been seen. (Ha! See what I did there? See what I-- never mind.) Time after time, throughout the movie, you get the continuing frustration of Watson always being taken away from Holmes by Mary. This is another one of those scenes where you just want to shake the three of them and see them living in 221b Baker Street in a lovely big menage a trois of 19th century loveliness.
[WATSON is packing his things away, ready to move into his new house with MARY, when HOLMES enters; awkward pause]
WATSON: I didn't know you were here.
HOLMES: Since this room is no longer yours, do you mind if I-- utilise it?
WATSON: [trying to look pleased] Be my guest.
HOLMES: [grins; calls to policemen waiting outside of room] In here, chaps!
POLICEMAN: Where'd you like me to put 'im, sir?
HOLMES: Anywhere's fine.
WATSON: [looks slightly peeved as dead body is placed on his desk; resumes packing] Who is he?
HOLMES: He's the man who tried to kill you at Reordan's lodgings. 'Suppose the neck didn't survive the impact of Dredger landing on him.
WATSON: Yes. [looking sideways at HOLMES] Thanks for that, by the way.
[they share a look]
HOLMES: But there is some consolation in the knowledge that he could still be of service to his fellow man. [begins to examine corpse] Elbows and arms stained with blood, but it's older than his own injuries.
[HOLMES looks up to find WATSON watching him work; WATSON quickly looks away and resumes his packing for the second time; HOLMES looks smug]
HOLMES: None of it human. It's not butcher, let me see--
[quick montage of HOLMES using various scientific experiments to deduce more information from the body; all the while WATSON is determinedly not watching]
HOLMES: [sets fire to a piece of hair; flame burns bright] Hm. Yellow flame. Green bursts. An industrial worker.
[more experiments; HOLMES lifts dirt from under corpse's fingernails]
HOLMES: Coal. Bit of silt. And the slag on his trousers should put his squarely in--
WATSON: Nine Elms.
HOLMES: In-- sorry what?
WATSON: The area you're looking for is Nine Elms.
HOLMES: Right. Do you remember where I put the Lord's register of member's interests.
WATSON: [finally looking at HOLMES] It's on the stepladder.
HOLMES: [smiles as he leaves WATSON]
WATSON: [taking advantage of HOLMES's absence, WATSON inspects the corpse for himself]
HOLMES: [returns moments later, not saying anything about WATSON's own investigation] Oh, Blackwood's had a (?) in just about everything that's corrosive to the spirit. Woolwich Arsenal. Limehouse Chemical Works.
WATSON: [still looking over body] It'll probably be factory by the river.
HOLMES: What's that?
WATSON: [looks up from body; turns away] Never mind. [coughs and throws ball up in the air before catching it again, trying to look uninterested; HOLMES watches him intently] You don't know where my rugby ball went, do you?
HOLMES: [pause] No, not t a clue. Queenside Slaughterhouse, Nine Elms. A factory by the river. Well done, Watson. That should lead us right to Blackwood, dead or alive.
WATSON: Not us.
[HOLMES stops walking towards door; pause]
WATSON: You.
HOLMES: [takes a deep breath] Yes. [looks directly at WATSON] Just a figure of speech, old boy.
[HOLMES leaves the room; WATSON looks forlorn; he throws ball and catches it once again; suddenly he notices HOLMES's revolver on side table; sighs yet is smiling]
WATSON: [to GLADSTONE] He's left it there on purpose.
[GLADSTONE growls in an exhausted sort of way as WATSON reaches for the revolver and heads off after HOLMES]
I love Watson "not caring". He does that a lot during the movie. Let's put it this way; if I didn't care for half of the things he pretends not to care about then I should be a very caring person indeed.
I'm not sure what that meant. But uh. Moving on.
[HOLMES, WATSON and CAPTAIN TANNER are sailing the Thames at night; HOLMES and TANNER are laughing as WATSON shovels coal into furnace]
CAPTAIN TANNER: More coal, doctor!
WATSON: [looks annoyed; goes over to HOLMES who's ringing the ship's bell loudly] Glad you two are working hard, then. And I thought we were trying to be discrete.
CAPTAIN TANNER: [to WATSON] You would not last one day in the navy.
WATSON: [leans heavily on the ship, near to HOLMES] Holmes, are you sure there isn't an alternate means of water transportation than that?
HOLMES: I guarantee you, no one knows London's waterways better.
[they look hard at each other]
HOLMES: Tan's practically a fish himself.
WATSON: [to HOLMES] He certainly drinks like one.
CAPTAIN TANNER: Oh! You've found a sense of humour, doctor. If only just a sense. [CAPTAIN TANNER stands; looks at HOLMES] Better take over. It's a bit tricky down 'ere.
HA Tanner/Holmes. FOR CRACK, quoth she! I'm not making any jokes about this scene. Not one. Not even a little one. Except that I bet there was a jolly roger on that ship ho HO.
[after HOLMES and WATSON save ADLER from BLACKWOOD's trap, WATSON runs off in pursuit of BLACKWOOD, leaving HOLMES and ALDER alone]
ADLER: [embracing HOLMES, she kisses his neck] Thank you.
HOLMES: [pulls away from her] We should help the doctor.
EXT. STREET - DOCK - NIGHT
[WATSON is running along the pier when he trips over a mechanism; realises too late the second trap]
WATSON: [turns to yell at HOLMES who has appeared behind him] HOLMES!
[the dock erupts into a fiery blaze; WATSON is caught in the middle of the blast whilst HOLMES falls backwards; after finding ALDER, HOLMES goes to look for WATSON only to get struck by another explosion]
MY HEART. Oh, my heart! This scene is so painful to watch. On one side you've got Watson's sheer terror, not for his own safety being in jeopardy but Holmes', and on the other side you've got Holmes who's absolutely devastated because he wasn't there to watch Watson's back. I love that Clark runs to Holmes straight after this bit and as soon as telling Holmes to run because he's under arrest he tells him that Watson's okay. It's lovely that even other characters notice that Holmes and Watson won't do anything until they know that the other is taken care of.
[a doctor is watching over a patient who is revealed to be WATSON; MARY walks into the room after studying the doctor at work]
DOCTOR: The surgeon should be along shortly.
MARY: [looks warily at the doctor]
DOCTOR: [putting away WATSON's chart] He should be able to rest now.
[the doctor goes to leave the room; MARY watches him intently]
MARY: Excuse me?
DOCTOR: [pauses in doorway, not looking at MARY]
MARY: [knowingly] Is that the best you can do?
DOCTOR: Yes, for now. [pause] I must attend to my other patients
MARY: [following doctor down corridor] Doctor? Doctor? Please!
[as the doctor walks into the light we can see that it is actually HOLMES in disguise; he still has his back to MARY]
MARY: I know that you care for him as much as I do.
HOLMES: [looks pained]
MARY: This was not your responsibility. It was his choice.
HOLMES: [removes spectacles; tries to not look at MARY]
MARY: He'd say it was worth the wounds.
HOLMES: [struggles to say something before sighing; swiftly leaves MARY]
MARY: [calling after HOLMES] Solve this, whatever it takes.
It's so clever the way Mary quite obviously knows who Holmes is throughout the scene, yet Holmes refuses to acknowledge that she knows. It's almost as if by admitting that he cares for Watson, he thinks she's won. In the restaurant scene he was vulgar and mean because it allowed him to look as though he didn't care for Watson. Actually demonstrating affection proves that he will pine for Watson as soon as Mary takes him away. it's all so ingenious!
[HOLMES awakens from a nightmare-filled sleep to see WATSON sat on a chair, a little worse for wear but still as smart and efficient as ever]
ADLER: Good morning.
HOLMES: [looks up and finds ALDER leant over him]
ADLER: Now, we need to work. [she gets off HOLMES and walks away]
WATSON: [looking at the runes and symbols HOLMES has scribbled over the floor and walls, BLACKWOOD's signs] Familiar art-work.
HOLMES: [gets up and sits on side of bed]
WATSON: You look gorgeous.
HOLMES: [to ADLER] Somehow I knew you wouldn't leave.
ADLER: [holds up a newspaper; headline reads; "SHERLOCK HOLMES WANTED"] You made the front page.
HOLMES: Only a name and no picture.
WATSON: [rolls eyes and sighs]
ADLER: So, it looks like you'll be needing to walk outside the law now and that my area of expertise.
HOLMES: I feel safer already.
WATSON: [gets up off chair]
HOLMES: [to WATSON] You seem to be making a rapid recovery.
WATSON: Yes. [comes to sit on bed beside HOLMES] Took the shrapnel out myself. Mary said I had a lousy doctor.
[WATSON looks intently at HOLMES who gives him an innocent sideways glance in return; they both look ahead in silence]
HOLMES: Well I'm um-- I'm just so very glad that you're uh-- [sniff] well-- with us.
[HOLMES and WATSON clear their throats simultaneously, looking awkward]
AHHH BOYS <3333 JUST. JUST LOOK. ADMIT YOUR LOVE. The way Holmes is so happy to see Watson alive and well, yet doesn't want to say anything and just AHH. <3
[after being held captive, HOLMES jumps out of a window from parliament, over-looking the Thames; only his arm and pipe are held aloft from the water]
WATSON: [throws rope from boat for HOLMES to catch and pulls him in]
CAPTAIN TANNER: [to WATSON who is helping HOLMES climb overboard] I told you he'd be coming out of the top window, Solider Boy. There isn't any way he'd be coming over that terrace.
WATSON: Well, technically that isn't the top window, is it? Sailor Boy.
CAPTAIN TANNER: Well what is then?
WATSON: [pointing at window] Well, it's the middle window!
HOLMES: [shivering in blanket, HOLMES looks at WATSON] Anyway.
Isn't it wonderful how men constantly bicker over Holmes? :D I think there's something about the size of his cane. Or pipe. Only Holmes would be eccentric enough to care for his pipe above all other items upon his person. <3
[ADLER, WATSON and HOLMES are trying to spy on BLACKWOOD's machine]
HOLMES: Behold, Blackwood's magic revealed.
ADLER: What does it do?
HOLMES: It's a chemical weapon.
WATSON: [sounding intrigued] Hm?
HOLMES: [to WATSON] First miscount.
ADLER: You deduced that now?
HOLMES: From my pocket. [produces rat's tail] I snipped this off a rather recumbent rat at the slaughterhouse. Note the blue discolouration, the faintest smell of bitter almonds. Tell-tale traces of cyanide.
WATSON: [puts finger to mouth, silencing HOLMES as a man walks by them]
HOLMES: [leans around WATSON and uses his chest as a make-shift tripod for his telescope; seeing Blackwood's machine] Now we know what the ginger midget was working on. It'll revolutionise warfare.
WATSON: Yes, killing a lot of people. Now, it's seven minutes to noon-- what are we going to do?
[putting his telescope away, HOLMES leans in and whispers against WATSON's ear]
HOLMES: Right, help me with the two--
[a gunshot is heard causing HOLMES and WATSON to both look up in alarm; ADLER is busy shooting the guardians of the machine]
WATSON: [with disdain] She loves an entrance, your muse.
I LOVE THIS BIT. ACTUALLY LOVE. HOLMES AND WATSON ARE BFFS AGAIN. AND THE WORKING AND THE LEANING AND THE GUN!PORN AND THE OH OH OH. <333 I also love how Holmes goes out of his way to stand by Watson as they talk. Aww. Awwww.
[HOLMES and WATSON are saying goodbye; MARY is petting GLADSTONE in the corner whilst they talk; they suddenly realise MORIARTY's true plans for BLACKWOOD's machine]
HOLMES: Imagine being able to control any device simply by sending a command via radio waves. This is the future, Watson.
REMOVAL MAN: [knocks on door; to WATSON] I've loaded the last of your boxes, sir.
[HOLMES and WATSON look at each other despondantly]
WATSON: Well.
HOLMES: Well.
[GLADSTONE wakes up, growling, and heads for the exit]
WATSON: Stop him before he gets to the front door!
[WATSON runs after GLADSTONE, leaving CONSTABLE CLARK and MARY stood by door]
HOLMES: [looking out of window] Clarkie? [puts on hat] Case reopened.
THIS CLIFFHANGER. THIS. The only reason I don't hate it as much as I should is because there is no doubt a sequel will be done and that means lots and lots more RPF between DJ and Law. Which is always a wonderful thing.
---o0o---
MU ZIP of caps
6.53MB
---o0o---
And thus ends my epic post about Sherlock Holmes, aka my new favourite thing. Be grateful I haven't got time to do this for Bradley and Colin, Dean/Cas or Life on Mars. (This is a false hope. I have always got time to do picspams of B&C, D/C and LoM.)
Celebrating the love that is Mr & Mrs Holmes/Watson
All quotes lovingly taken from the script, which quite obviously isn't mine.
[HOLMES is struggling with an assailant when WATSON appears and holds him from behind. HOLMES and WATSON try to suffocate him]
WATSON: I like the hat.
HOLMES: Oh, I just picked it up.
WATSON: Did you remember your revolver?
HOLMES: Ah! Knew I'd forgot something. Thought I'd left the stove on.
WATSON: You did.
[man goes limp in their grasp]
HOLMES: I think that's quite enough.
[WATSON looks curiously at the corpse in his arms]
HOLMES: You are a doctor after all.
[WATSON allows the dead body to fall to the ground, HOLMES and WATSON shake hands]
HOLMES: Always nice to see you, Watson.
Right from the get go you have this wonderful chemistry between the two. Straight away we get a feeling of them being exceptionally close (sharing quarters), and generally looking out for each another. I've always been a fan of this relationship but (and the staunch fanatical Conan Doyle lovers may lynch me for saying this,) I think the relationship is done exactly how it should be.
WATSON: Permission to enter the armory?
HOLMES: Granted. [revolver fires] Watson. I am in the process of inventing a device that suppresses the sound of a gunshot.
WATSON: [walks to window, draws the curtains]
HOLMES: [shields eyes from sun] It's not working.
WATSON: Oh! Can I see that? [takes the revolver from HOLMES] You know, it's been three months since your last case.
HOLMES: Watson, gently. Gently, Watson, be gentle with me-- !
WATSON: [throws open another set of curtains]
HOLMES: [shouts]
WATSON: Don't you think it's time you found another one?
HOLMES: [crawling across the floor] I can't but agree. My mind rebels at stagnation, give me problems, give me work. The sooner the better.
WATSON: Paper. [hands HOLMES the newspaper] Let's see, then. There's a letter from Mrs. Grahamsie of... Queen's Park. Her husband's disappeared.
HOLMES: He's in Belgium with the scullery maid. Is it November?
WATSON: Yes, Holmes. Alright. Lady Radford reports-- oh, her emerald bracelet has disappeared.
HOLMES: Insurance swindle. Lord Radford likes fast women and slow ponies. Oh, I see you're the attending physician at Blackwood's hanging.
WATSON: Yes. It was our last case together, and I wanted to see it through to the end.
[meaningful silence ensues]
WATSON: [clears throat]
MRS. HUDSON: [enters with tea]
WATSON: A Mister Louis is seeking the--
HOLMES: There's only one case that intrigues me at present. The curious case of Mrs. Hudson, the absentee landlady. I've been studying her comings and goings. They appear most. Sinister.
MRS. HUDSON: Tea, Mr. Holmes.
HOLMES: Is it poisoned? Nanny?
MRS. HUDSON: There's enough of that in you already.
HOLMES: Don't touch! Everything is in its proper place, as per usual. Nanny.
MRS. HUDSON: [on her way out, she spots a comatose GLADSTONE] Oh, he's killed the dog. Again.
WATSON: What have you done to Gladstone now? [kneels by the dog]
HOLMES: I was simply testing a new anaesthetic. He doesn't mind.
WATSON: [gets up slowly, turns to HOLMES] Holmes. As your doctor--
HOLMES: He'll be straight as a trivet in no time.
WATSON: As your friend. You've been in this room for two weeks, I insist you have to get out!
HOLMES: There's nothing of interest, for me, out there, on Earth. At all.
WATSON: So you're free this evening?
HOLMES: Absolutely.
WATSON: Dinner?
HOLMES: Wonderful.
WATSON: The Royale?
HOLMES: My favorite.
WATSON: Mary's coming.
HOLMES: [gives WATSON a disbelieving look] Not available.
WATSON: You're meeting her, Holmes!
HOLMES: Have you proposed yet?
WATSON: No, I haven't found the right ring.
HOLMES: Oh, well then it's not official.
WATSON: It's happening. Whether you like it or not. Eight-thirty at the Royale, wear a jacket.
HOLMES: You wear a jacket.
There's something wonderful about the fact that Watson is the only chap who can control the quiet frankly insane Holmes. Even if you ignore the slash it's still upsetting to see Holmes every time he realises that he's losing his partner. He clings onto that hope that Watson will leave "that dreaded woman" in the same way that the audience is meant to. I love that the story's written so that you want Watson to abandon his plans and fight crime all day long with Holmes. It makes every that happens all the more interesting.
MARY: What can you tell about me?
HOLMES: You?
WATSON: I don't think that's--
HOLMES: [glances at WATSON] I don't know that that's--
WATSON: Not at dinner.
HOLMES: Perhaps some other time.
MARY: I insist.
HOLMES: You insist.
WATSON: [to HOLMES] You remember, we discussed this.
HOLMES: [turning to WATSON] The lady insists.
WATSON: [meaningful stare, followed by a small nod]
HOLMES: [slides chair closer to MARY] You are a governess.
MARY: Well done.
WATSON: Yes, well done, shall we? Waiter!
HOLMES: Your student-- is a boy of eight.
MARY: Charlie's seven, actually.
HOLMES: Then he's tall for his age. He flicked ink at you today.
MARY: [to WATSON] Is there ink on my face?
WATSON: There's nothing wrong with your face.
HOLMES: There are two drops on your ear, in fact. India blue's nearly impossible to wash off. Anyway, a very impetuous act by the boy, but you are-- too experienced to react rashly, which is why the lady for whom you work leant you that necklace. River pearls, diamonds, a flawless ruby, hardly-- the gems of a governess. However, the jewels you are not wearing tell us rather more.
WATSON: [sharply] Holmes.
HOLMES: You were engaged. The ring is gone, but the lighter skin where it once sat suggests that you spent some time abroad, you wore it proudly, that is until you were informed of its true value and what it's worth, at which point you broke off the engagement and returned to England for better prospects. [turns to WATSON] A doctor, perhaps.
MARY: [throws glass of wine in HOLMES's face] Right on all counts, Mr. Holmes, apart from one. I didn't leave him. He died.
[MARY leaves]
HOLMES: [sighs]
WATSON: [disappointed tone] Well done, old boy.
I wanted to love Mary, I really did. I almost got there too. But then, well, I didn't. She's very... typical. The female who's there for plot and plot only. She does make the interaction between Holmes and Watson all the better though. There's so much tension in any scene involving the three.
[HOLMES is apparently strumming his violin to a glass container holding several flies. The door opens.]
HOLMES: [stops strumming] Watson.
WATSON: Right. Let's go.
HOLMES: What started merely as an experiment has brought me to the threshold of a monumental discovery. Now, if I play a chromatic scale-- [strums violin] there's no measurable response.
WATSON: [looking at an empty bottle on HOLMES's desk, disapproving] You do know what you're drinking is meant for eye surgery.
HOLMES: But! Now. And this is remarkable. If I change to atonal clusters-- [strums violin] Voila. They fly in counter-clockwise, synchronized, concentric circles as though a regimented flock. Watson, this is exceptional. I, using musical theory, have created order out of chaos.
WATSON: [staring at the glass] How did you lure them in?
HOLMES: Excellent question. Individually. [secretive voice] I've been at it for six hours.
WATSON: And what happens if I do this? [removes top from the container, taps the glass with his cane; the flies fly out]
HOLMES: Right.
WATSON: Clean yourself up. You are Blackwood's last request.
There's not really a lot to say about this scene. I just think that they both look absolutely beautiful. That, combined with Watson's concern about Holmes' health, makes it a winner for me. :D
HOLMES: [looking at the new construction that is Tower Bridge] What an industrious empire.
WATSON: Hm.
HOLMES: Oh, I have your winnings from last night. You weren't there, so I made your-- customary bet.
WATSON: [reaches for the bills]
HOLMES: [pulls them from him] You're right. I'll keep it with your checkbook, locked safely away in my drawer.
WATSON: [scowls, looks away from HOLMES]
HOLMES: Did you know the opera house is featuring Don Giovanni? I could easily procure a couple of tickets if you had any cultural inclinations this evening.
WATSON: [sighs]
HOLMES: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson.
WATSON: [looks sideways at HOLMES]
HOLMES: It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.
WATSON: [punches HOLMES swiftly]
HOLMES: [holding a handkerchief to his nose] Ah!
WATSON: I knew she'd been engaged. She'd told me.
HOLMES: So that's no to the opera, then.
WATSON: [looks out the window]
HOLMES: [reaches for a waistcoat beside WATSON]
WATSON: That was my waistcoat.
HOLMES: I thought we agreed it's too small for you.
WATSON: I'd like it back.
HOLMES: I thought we agreed.
WATSON: [grabs for it] I want it back.
HOLMES: [lets go after a moment]
WATSON: [throws it out of the carriage window]
HOLMES: [looks defeated]
WATSON: [grins to self]
This. This. CULTURAL INCLINATIONS. WHAT OTHER ONES DOES WATSON HAVE, HOLMES, HMM?
POLICEMAN: This way Mr. Holmes.
[HOLMES and WATSON step out of the carriage]
WATSON: Blackwood's certainly seems to have got the crowd into a something of a fear frenzy.
HOLMES: One that's certain to disperse once his feet have stopped twitching. Care to come along?
WATSON: No, you're on your own here, old cock. I've no business with him whilst he's alive.
HOLMES: Suit yourself, mother hen.
This has to be the most wonderful way the word 'cock' has ever been used innocently. And that's all there is to say about that.
HOLMES: This man intrigues me, Watson. He's got Adler on edge.
WATSON: She's no mean feat.
HOLMES: She's intimidated. She's scared of him.
WATSON: Yet she works for him.
HOLMES: Right.
WATSON: It's nothing to do with me but I advise you leave-- the case-- alone.
HOLMES: Well I may not have a choice, Watson. After all, I may be paying the rent on my own soon. Thanks to you.
[HOLMES points his violin bow in WATSON's direction]
WATSON: Get that thing out of my face.
HOLMES: It's not in your face. It's in my hand.
WATSON: Get what's in your hand out of my face.
[someone knocks on the doors; in enters CONSTABLE CLARK]
CLARK: Holmes?
HOLMES: Clarkie!
CLARK: Sir, Inspector Lestrade asks that you come with me at once.
HOLMES: What's he done now, lost his way to Scotland Yard? Watson, grab a compass. "You" means "us."
WATSON: No, "you" means you.
CLARK: It's Lord Blackwood, sir, he, ah-- Well. It appears he's-- come back from the grave, sir.
HOLMES: Most engaging.
WATSON: [disbelieving] Very clever. I pronounced the man dead myself.
HOLMES: What are the facts?
CLARK: Groundskeeper claims he saw him walking through the graveyard just this morning, sir.
WATSON: [pats HOLMES's thigh] I'll leave this in your capable hands. I have an appointment with Mary!
HOLMES: 'S not my reputation that's at stake here.
WATSON: [points finger] Don't try that.
HOLMES: Have the newspapers got wind of it yet?
CLARK: Well, that's what we're trying to avoid, sir.
HOLMES: Certainly. What's the major concern?
CLARK: Panic. Sheer-- bloody panic, sir.
HOLMES: Indeed.
WATSON: You're not taking this seriously, are you, Holmes?
HOLMES: Yes. As you should.
WATSON: [stares at him sceptically]
HOLMES: It's a matter of professional integrity. No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell whether a man's dead or not.
I wasn't expecting a wonderfully slashy relationship in the movie because when the movie was first released there were a lot of reviews saying the film was disappointingly dull regarding the romantic nature of their relationship.
I think I watched a different movie.
They're so tactile. There isn't one scene that doesn't see them hugging or fighting or touching or... well, anything for contact really. I approve of this. Much.
WATSON: Who do you think won the match, Clarkie?
CLARK: Sir?
WATSON: The rugby match.
[WATSON points to the ruined crimescene]
WATSON: Your boys have done a magnificent job obliterating any potential evidence.
HOLMES: Yes. But at least they never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
I... mainly included this for prosperity. Because I'm fond of Brompton for obvious reasons.
WATSON: You have to admit, Holmes, that a supernatural explanation to this case is theoretically possible.
HOLMES: Oh, agreed. But. It's a huge mistake to theorise before one has data. Inevitably one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. That said, I believe hapless midget is the key to this. Hmm.
[they begin to walk]
HOLMES: Right. Scratches 'round the keyhole where the watch was wound. What does that tell you?
WATSON: The man was likely a drunk. Every time he wound the watch his hand would slip, hence the scratches.
HOLMES: Yes, very good Watson. You've developed considerable deductive powers of your own. Hm. Now see now, there are several sets of initials scored--
WATSON: --Pawnbrokers marks.
HOLMES: Excellent. Most recent of which are "MH". MH-- MH is for--
[both look up to see shop in front of them]
HOLMES: Maddison and Haig.
WATSON: [simultaneously] Maddison and Haig.
HOLMES: They should be able to give us an address.
WATSON: What a coincidence. [despairing] There's one thing you've failed to deduce from the watch, Holmes.
HOLMES: I think not.
WATSON: The time. I have to get back, Holmes. I'm taking tea with the in-laws.
HOLMES: [appauled] Augh.
FORTUNE TELLER: Reckon your futures, sirs?
HOLMES: Absolutely not.
WATSON: No thank you, ma'am.
FORTUNE TELLER: You need to hear what I have to tell you.
HOLMES: We have no need of your lucky heather, gypsy woman.
FORTUNE TELLER: Even if it's to do with Mary?
WATSON: [frowns, looks back at woman]
FORTUNE TELLER: Oh, oh, I see two men; brothers, not in blood but in bond.
[HOLMES and WATSON look at each other]
WATSON: What of Mary?
FORTUNE TELLER: M for Mary, for marriage. Oh, you will be married--
WATSON: Go on.
FORTUNE TELLER: I see patterned table-clothes and-- oh, china figures and-- oh, lace doilies--
HOLMES: [disgusted] Hm, doilies!
WATSON: Lace-- doilies? [recognising a set-up] Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?
HOLMES: No.
FORTUNE TELLER: Oh! She turns to fat and-- oh, she has a beard and--
HOLMES: [looking to the sky] What of the warts?
FORTUNE TELLER: [feigning horror] Oh, she's covered in warts!
WATSON: Enough. Enough. Enough.
HOLMES: [still looking up, becoming dramatic] Are they extensive?
WATSON: Please, enough!
[HOLMES and FORTUNE TELLER go silent]
HOLMES: It's the most apt prediction Flora's made in years, and precisely the reason you can't find a suitable ring.
WATSON: Do you have my money?
HOLMES: You are terrified of a life without the thrill of the macabre-- Do you really-- ?
WATSON: Do you have my-- ?
HOLMES: Admit it.
WATSON: Give me my money!
HOLMES: Admit it, admit it!
WATSON: Holmes.
[HOLMES follows WATSON's gaze to a sign offering engagement rings for sale]
HOLMES: Ah, I see.
[HOLMES hands over the money]
I won't lie. I couldn't stop laughing at this scene. It's the part where Holmes goes "Are they extensive?!" that gets me. It's like someone has wrapped humour up in a big ball of handsome and shoved it on earth with the name Robert.
[after leaving WATSON, HOLMES tries to break into house; WATSON appears minutes later and kicks door in]
HOLMES: It does make a considerable difference to me, having someone with me on whom I can thoroughly rely.
WATSON: Well, you can rely on me for exactly ten minutes.
Watson's very violent in this movie. I think I like it. I think Holmes likes it too.
[HOLMES and FRENCHMAN are in the boat factory fighting; WATSON spies FRENCHMAN attacking at HOLMES who lies seemingly unconscious on the floor]
WATSON: [sees boat in danger of falling; shoots at FRENCHMAN] Holmes!
[WATSON watches as the boat proceeds to slide from the dock into the sea; almost too late he notices the anchor heading for HOLMES who is beginning to come around; dives for HOLMES and protects him as anchor flies passed the both of them; both watch as the factory falls down around them]
HOLMES: Watson, what have you done?
I would quite like a protector as lovely as Watson. I'd also like to sit back to back with a protector as lovely as Watson. But it wouldn't be for protecting reasons. Hm.
[WATSON and HOLMES are sitting in a gaol]
HOLMES: [awakens after falling asleep on WATSON's shoulder]
WATSON: Why I ever believed that I would get to have tea with Mary's parents is beyond me, having been talked into going with you.
HOLMES: We were set upon, man, it was self defense.
WATSON: I've been reviewing my notes on our exploits over the last-- seven months, would you like to know my conclusion?
HOLMES: Uh, if you--
WATSON: I am psychologically disturbed.
HOLMES: How so?
WATSON: Why else would I continually be led into situations where you deliberately withhold your plans from me? Why else?
HOLMES: You've never complained about my-- methods before.
WATSON: I'm not complaining.
HOLMES: You're not? What do you call this?
WATSON: How-- how am I complaining? I never complain, when do I complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning? Or your mess? Your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?
HOLMES: Ah, we have a barter system--
WATSON: When do I complain about you setting fire to my rooms?
HOLMES: Our rooms.
WATSON: The rooms! When do I complain that you experiment on, on my dog--
HOLMES: Our dog.
WATSON: On the-- on the dog!
HOLMES: [simultaneously] Gladstone is our dog.
WATSON: Where I do take issue is your campaign to sabotage my relationship with Mary.
HOLMES: [pause] I understand.
WATSON: Do you?
HOLMES: I do.
WATSON: I don't think you do.
HOLMES: You're overtired.
WATSON: [deflates a little] Yes.
HOLMES: You're feeling a bit sensitive.
WATSON: I'm not sensitive.
HOLMES: What you need is to rest. My brother Mycroft has a small estate near Chichester. Beautiful grounds. There's a folly. We could throw a lamb on the spit--
WATSON: We? Holmes, if I were to go to the country, it would be with my future wife!
HOLMES: Well, certainly, if we must, we can have her along--
WATSON: No, not you, Mary and I, you are not--
HOLMES: What? Invited? Why would I not be invited to my own brother's country home? Watson, now you're not making any sense!
WATSON: [sharply] You're not human!
One of my favourite scenes to have ever been seen. (Ha! See what I did there? See what I-- never mind.) Time after time, throughout the movie, you get the continuing frustration of Watson always being taken away from Holmes by Mary. This is another one of those scenes where you just want to shake the three of them and see them living in 221b Baker Street in a lovely big menage a trois of 19th century loveliness.
[WATSON is packing his things away, ready to move into his new house with MARY, when HOLMES enters; awkward pause]
WATSON: I didn't know you were here.
HOLMES: Since this room is no longer yours, do you mind if I-- utilise it?
WATSON: [trying to look pleased] Be my guest.
HOLMES: [grins; calls to policemen waiting outside of room] In here, chaps!
POLICEMAN: Where'd you like me to put 'im, sir?
HOLMES: Anywhere's fine.
WATSON: [looks slightly peeved as dead body is placed on his desk; resumes packing] Who is he?
HOLMES: He's the man who tried to kill you at Reordan's lodgings. 'Suppose the neck didn't survive the impact of Dredger landing on him.
WATSON: Yes. [looking sideways at HOLMES] Thanks for that, by the way.
[they share a look]
HOLMES: But there is some consolation in the knowledge that he could still be of service to his fellow man. [begins to examine corpse] Elbows and arms stained with blood, but it's older than his own injuries.
[HOLMES looks up to find WATSON watching him work; WATSON quickly looks away and resumes his packing for the second time; HOLMES looks smug]
HOLMES: None of it human. It's not butcher, let me see--
[quick montage of HOLMES using various scientific experiments to deduce more information from the body; all the while WATSON is determinedly not watching]
HOLMES: [sets fire to a piece of hair; flame burns bright] Hm. Yellow flame. Green bursts. An industrial worker.
[more experiments; HOLMES lifts dirt from under corpse's fingernails]
HOLMES: Coal. Bit of silt. And the slag on his trousers should put his squarely in--
WATSON: Nine Elms.
HOLMES: In-- sorry what?
WATSON: The area you're looking for is Nine Elms.
HOLMES: Right. Do you remember where I put the Lord's register of member's interests.
WATSON: [finally looking at HOLMES] It's on the stepladder.
HOLMES: [smiles as he leaves WATSON]
WATSON: [taking advantage of HOLMES's absence, WATSON inspects the corpse for himself]
HOLMES: [returns moments later, not saying anything about WATSON's own investigation] Oh, Blackwood's had a (?) in just about everything that's corrosive to the spirit. Woolwich Arsenal. Limehouse Chemical Works.
WATSON: [still looking over body] It'll probably be factory by the river.
HOLMES: What's that?
WATSON: [looks up from body; turns away] Never mind. [coughs and throws ball up in the air before catching it again, trying to look uninterested; HOLMES watches him intently] You don't know where my rugby ball went, do you?
HOLMES: [pause] No, not t a clue. Queenside Slaughterhouse, Nine Elms. A factory by the river. Well done, Watson. That should lead us right to Blackwood, dead or alive.
WATSON: Not us.
[HOLMES stops walking towards door; pause]
WATSON: You.
HOLMES: [takes a deep breath] Yes. [looks directly at WATSON] Just a figure of speech, old boy.
[HOLMES leaves the room; WATSON looks forlorn; he throws ball and catches it once again; suddenly he notices HOLMES's revolver on side table; sighs yet is smiling]
WATSON: [to GLADSTONE] He's left it there on purpose.
[GLADSTONE growls in an exhausted sort of way as WATSON reaches for the revolver and heads off after HOLMES]
I love Watson "not caring". He does that a lot during the movie. Let's put it this way; if I didn't care for half of the things he pretends not to care about then I should be a very caring person indeed.
I'm not sure what that meant. But uh. Moving on.
[HOLMES, WATSON and CAPTAIN TANNER are sailing the Thames at night; HOLMES and TANNER are laughing as WATSON shovels coal into furnace]
CAPTAIN TANNER: More coal, doctor!
WATSON: [looks annoyed; goes over to HOLMES who's ringing the ship's bell loudly] Glad you two are working hard, then. And I thought we were trying to be discrete.
CAPTAIN TANNER: [to WATSON] You would not last one day in the navy.
WATSON: [leans heavily on the ship, near to HOLMES] Holmes, are you sure there isn't an alternate means of water transportation than that?
HOLMES: I guarantee you, no one knows London's waterways better.
[they look hard at each other]
HOLMES: Tan's practically a fish himself.
WATSON: [to HOLMES] He certainly drinks like one.
CAPTAIN TANNER: Oh! You've found a sense of humour, doctor. If only just a sense. [CAPTAIN TANNER stands; looks at HOLMES] Better take over. It's a bit tricky down 'ere.
HA Tanner/Holmes. FOR CRACK, quoth she! I'm not making any jokes about this scene. Not one. Not even a little one. Except that I bet there was a jolly roger on that ship ho HO.
[after HOLMES and WATSON save ADLER from BLACKWOOD's trap, WATSON runs off in pursuit of BLACKWOOD, leaving HOLMES and ALDER alone]
ADLER: [embracing HOLMES, she kisses his neck] Thank you.
HOLMES: [pulls away from her] We should help the doctor.
EXT. STREET - DOCK - NIGHT
[WATSON is running along the pier when he trips over a mechanism; realises too late the second trap]
WATSON: [turns to yell at HOLMES who has appeared behind him] HOLMES!
[the dock erupts into a fiery blaze; WATSON is caught in the middle of the blast whilst HOLMES falls backwards; after finding ALDER, HOLMES goes to look for WATSON only to get struck by another explosion]
MY HEART. Oh, my heart! This scene is so painful to watch. On one side you've got Watson's sheer terror, not for his own safety being in jeopardy but Holmes', and on the other side you've got Holmes who's absolutely devastated because he wasn't there to watch Watson's back. I love that Clark runs to Holmes straight after this bit and as soon as telling Holmes to run because he's under arrest he tells him that Watson's okay. It's lovely that even other characters notice that Holmes and Watson won't do anything until they know that the other is taken care of.
[a doctor is watching over a patient who is revealed to be WATSON; MARY walks into the room after studying the doctor at work]
DOCTOR: The surgeon should be along shortly.
MARY: [looks warily at the doctor]
DOCTOR: [putting away WATSON's chart] He should be able to rest now.
[the doctor goes to leave the room; MARY watches him intently]
MARY: Excuse me?
DOCTOR: [pauses in doorway, not looking at MARY]
MARY: [knowingly] Is that the best you can do?
DOCTOR: Yes, for now. [pause] I must attend to my other patients
MARY: [following doctor down corridor] Doctor? Doctor? Please!
[as the doctor walks into the light we can see that it is actually HOLMES in disguise; he still has his back to MARY]
MARY: I know that you care for him as much as I do.
HOLMES: [looks pained]
MARY: This was not your responsibility. It was his choice.
HOLMES: [removes spectacles; tries to not look at MARY]
MARY: He'd say it was worth the wounds.
HOLMES: [struggles to say something before sighing; swiftly leaves MARY]
MARY: [calling after HOLMES] Solve this, whatever it takes.
It's so clever the way Mary quite obviously knows who Holmes is throughout the scene, yet Holmes refuses to acknowledge that she knows. It's almost as if by admitting that he cares for Watson, he thinks she's won. In the restaurant scene he was vulgar and mean because it allowed him to look as though he didn't care for Watson. Actually demonstrating affection proves that he will pine for Watson as soon as Mary takes him away. it's all so ingenious!
[HOLMES awakens from a nightmare-filled sleep to see WATSON sat on a chair, a little worse for wear but still as smart and efficient as ever]
ADLER: Good morning.
HOLMES: [looks up and finds ALDER leant over him]
ADLER: Now, we need to work. [she gets off HOLMES and walks away]
WATSON: [looking at the runes and symbols HOLMES has scribbled over the floor and walls, BLACKWOOD's signs] Familiar art-work.
HOLMES: [gets up and sits on side of bed]
WATSON: You look gorgeous.
HOLMES: [to ADLER] Somehow I knew you wouldn't leave.
ADLER: [holds up a newspaper; headline reads; "SHERLOCK HOLMES WANTED"] You made the front page.
HOLMES: Only a name and no picture.
WATSON: [rolls eyes and sighs]
ADLER: So, it looks like you'll be needing to walk outside the law now and that my area of expertise.
HOLMES: I feel safer already.
WATSON: [gets up off chair]
HOLMES: [to WATSON] You seem to be making a rapid recovery.
WATSON: Yes. [comes to sit on bed beside HOLMES] Took the shrapnel out myself. Mary said I had a lousy doctor.
[WATSON looks intently at HOLMES who gives him an innocent sideways glance in return; they both look ahead in silence]
HOLMES: Well I'm um-- I'm just so very glad that you're uh-- [sniff] well-- with us.
[HOLMES and WATSON clear their throats simultaneously, looking awkward]
AHHH BOYS <3333 JUST. JUST LOOK. ADMIT YOUR LOVE. The way Holmes is so happy to see Watson alive and well, yet doesn't want to say anything and just AHH. <3
[after being held captive, HOLMES jumps out of a window from parliament, over-looking the Thames; only his arm and pipe are held aloft from the water]
WATSON: [throws rope from boat for HOLMES to catch and pulls him in]
CAPTAIN TANNER: [to WATSON who is helping HOLMES climb overboard] I told you he'd be coming out of the top window, Solider Boy. There isn't any way he'd be coming over that terrace.
WATSON: Well, technically that isn't the top window, is it? Sailor Boy.
CAPTAIN TANNER: Well what is then?
WATSON: [pointing at window] Well, it's the middle window!
HOLMES: [shivering in blanket, HOLMES looks at WATSON] Anyway.
Isn't it wonderful how men constantly bicker over Holmes? :D I think there's something about the size of his cane. Or pipe. Only Holmes would be eccentric enough to care for his pipe above all other items upon his person. <3
[ADLER, WATSON and HOLMES are trying to spy on BLACKWOOD's machine]
HOLMES: Behold, Blackwood's magic revealed.
ADLER: What does it do?
HOLMES: It's a chemical weapon.
WATSON: [sounding intrigued] Hm?
HOLMES: [to WATSON] First miscount.
ADLER: You deduced that now?
HOLMES: From my pocket. [produces rat's tail] I snipped this off a rather recumbent rat at the slaughterhouse. Note the blue discolouration, the faintest smell of bitter almonds. Tell-tale traces of cyanide.
WATSON: [puts finger to mouth, silencing HOLMES as a man walks by them]
HOLMES: [leans around WATSON and uses his chest as a make-shift tripod for his telescope; seeing Blackwood's machine] Now we know what the ginger midget was working on. It'll revolutionise warfare.
WATSON: Yes, killing a lot of people. Now, it's seven minutes to noon-- what are we going to do?
[putting his telescope away, HOLMES leans in and whispers against WATSON's ear]
HOLMES: Right, help me with the two--
[a gunshot is heard causing HOLMES and WATSON to both look up in alarm; ADLER is busy shooting the guardians of the machine]
WATSON: [with disdain] She loves an entrance, your muse.
I LOVE THIS BIT. ACTUALLY LOVE. HOLMES AND WATSON ARE BFFS AGAIN. AND THE WORKING AND THE LEANING AND THE GUN!PORN AND THE OH OH OH. <333 I also love how Holmes goes out of his way to stand by Watson as they talk. Aww. Awwww.
[HOLMES and WATSON are saying goodbye; MARY is petting GLADSTONE in the corner whilst they talk; they suddenly realise MORIARTY's true plans for BLACKWOOD's machine]
HOLMES: Imagine being able to control any device simply by sending a command via radio waves. This is the future, Watson.
REMOVAL MAN: [knocks on door; to WATSON] I've loaded the last of your boxes, sir.
[HOLMES and WATSON look at each other despondantly]
WATSON: Well.
HOLMES: Well.
[GLADSTONE wakes up, growling, and heads for the exit]
WATSON: Stop him before he gets to the front door!
[WATSON runs after GLADSTONE, leaving CONSTABLE CLARK and MARY stood by door]
HOLMES: [looking out of window] Clarkie? [puts on hat] Case reopened.
THIS CLIFFHANGER. THIS. The only reason I don't hate it as much as I should is because there is no doubt a sequel will be done and that means lots and lots more RPF between DJ and Law. Which is always a wonderful thing.
---o0o---
MU ZIP of caps
6.53MB
---o0o---
And thus ends my epic post about Sherlock Holmes, aka my new favourite thing. Be grateful I haven't got time to do this for Bradley and Colin, Dean/Cas or Life on Mars. (This is a false hope. I have always got time to do picspams of B&C, D/C and LoM.)