One Step Closer [Chapter 3]
Title: One Step Closer
Pairings/Characters: Santana/Brittany, Brittany's parents (John and Anna), several original characters, side Rachel/Quinn and their children: Gabriela, Ethaniel, Adrian, Susan, Harmony, and Jonah
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~20,600 words
Summary: Dreams are peculiar things. For Santana, her worst nightmare comes true with the words “there's been an accident”. It takes thousands of steps to rebuild her life and replace the nightmare with her greatest dreams.
-Chapter 3-
Time seemed to fly after Santana went back to work. Another week after the accident and Brittany was flexing her elbows with no problems and her grip made Santana wince a little bit at its strength. Delilah started showing Santana and John how to do Brittany's leg stretches and upper body exercises to practice in between her visits.
Exactly four weeks after the accident, Dr. Harris consented to removing the metal brace and brackets keeping Brittany's shoulders immobilized. All that was left was the neck brace which would stay in place for another few weeks. They began moving Brittany's shoulders and, while sore, she gritted her teeth and worked through it. Santana was proud of her girl, exceeding everyone's expectations with every single movement. However, she saw the disappointment in Brittany's eyes. She still wasn't having any feeling in either of her legs and, despite the progress of her upper body, it was her legs she wanted to work.
It was a Saturday the day that Delilah brought in the most complex looking wheelchair Santana had ever seen. There were buttons and a joystick and a headrest and it was heavily padded. It looked like someone would need an engineering degree to figure it out.
“It’s only temporary,” Delilah said. “Once she gets her arms strengthened up and her neck healed we can move her to a regular one.”
“I won’t need it,” Brittany mumbled. “I’ll dance out of here.”
“Of course you will, babe,” Santana said with a smile. She leaned over and kissed Brittany's forehead, thankful that she no longer had to navigate through a maze of metal bars to do so.
It took Brittany a little bit to get adjusted to the new chair - the joystick was extremely sensitive. She ran into things a lot and almost took Santana out a few times when she’d accidentally veer to the left or right when they were navigating through the hallways. It was worth it, though, Santana thought. At least she had something other than the ceiling to look at. Progress was progress and Santana was just as determined as her girlfriend to get her out of that hospital. However, as they say, what goes up must come down.
Brittany’s disappointment started turning into frustration when, after two months, she still wasn’t feeling her legs or doing pirouettes. Dr. Harris, Delilah, Santana, and Brittany's parents all tried explaining that it was going to take a lot more time. They had just taken her out of the neck brace and had started therapy to re-strengthen her neck muscles and get her used to the new stiffness of having the rods and titanium plates in place. She would eventually learn to work with the limited mobility, Dr. Harris assured her. Brittany, however, didn't care. She wanted to get up and walk around which wasn't going to happen anytime soon from what Santana could tell.
Faced with the news that she wasn't going to be dancing anytime soon, Brittany gave up. Santana came in from work on a Thursday evening to find Delilah in Brittany's room despite her normal time being just after lunch.
“Brittany, if you don't keep exercising you will lose everything we've already accomplished,” Delilah pleaded. “Please, you need to do this.”
“Get out.”
“Hey,” Santana sighed, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of Brittany's bed. “What's going on?”
“I want to go home. I'm done.”
“I don't think you're done, babe.”
“Take me home, San,” Brittany begged. “Please don't make me stay here anymore.” Her bright blue eyes glimmered with tears and despite Santana really, really wanting to...she knew what was best for Brittany right then.
“I can't, B. You need to stay here.”
“I'm not doing anything else,” Brittany stated. She crossed her arms over her chest and, with a wince, turned her head away from both Santana and Delilah.
It shattered Santana's heart to see Brittany like this but she figured the blonde would eventually see her way. Unfortunately, she didn't. Five days went by with Brittany refusing to do therapy and barely acknowledging Santana's presence. She spoke only to her parents on the phone (they had both returned to Lima for the time being, knowing Brittany was in good hands) and mumbled words to hospital staff. After the five days she reluctantly resumed therapy after Santana made a remark that the blonde had been unable to finish feeding herself thanks to not exercising.
Even seeing the progress herself, Brittany became more and more irritable with every day. She wasn't sure whether she meant to or not but Santana started skipping mornings with Brittany, taking shorter lunches, and working later. She was only ever met with scowls from her girlfriend anymore and it wasn't something she wanted to deal with. Trying to have conversation was impossible and so all she could do was sit in the recliner and stare at the TV and get whatever Brittany needed even though all Santana got in return was a frustrated growl. But she was still there and she was determined not to give up. She couldn't.
XXXXXXXXXX
“Hey babe,” Santana said, strolling into Brittany's room around six that evening. She had been trying to get better about spending more time at the hospital but it was almost exhausting being met with anger every time she stepped into the room. But Santana hid her frustrations for Brittany. She smiled her fake optimistic smile and kissed her girlfriend on the head before dropping to the recliner. When Brittany's eyes connected with hers there was a change in them. The bright blue had dulled and a tingle told Santana that tonight wasn't going to be good.
“Had to work late again?” Brittany's growled, anger very apparent as she bared her teeth.
“Yeah, we got a really big account. I told you about it yesterday, remember?”
“Of course,” the blonde snorted. “You get to go to work and I get to stay here.”
Santana sighed. She was exhausted and not in the mood to deal with anything unpleasant but she took a deep breath and sat up in her chair to try and reason with her girlfriend.
“Please Brittany…can we please not do this today? I'm really tired.”
“You don’t want to deal with me then leave. You think I don’t notice, Santana? You think I haven’t noticed how you have to go in early and stay late almost every single day? If you’re going to leave me just do it, okay?”
“I’m not leaving you,” Santana assured her. “I'm not.”
Brittany growled again and tried to shift to turn herself onto her side, Santana instinctively stood and reached out to try and help her, just as she'd been shown.
“Get away from me!” Brittany hissed. “I’ll do it myself! I don’t need you, I don’t want you. Just get away.”
Santana stepped back, slightly shocked at Brittany's reaction. She watched, her arms aching to help as Brittany continued struggling to push herself over but finally lost the battle to exhaustion and gave up. She stared at the ceiling, tears cascading down her cheeks. Santana felt her eyes begin to brim with tears, petrified of what was about to happen next.
“Go home, Santana,” she whispered. “I don’t want you here anymore and you don’t want to be here. Just go.”
“B,” Santana choked, “I do want to be here but...you just make it so hard sometimes!” The tears were running and all of Santana's frustration began bubbling up and she couldn't help but spill her heart out. “You gave up and you’re bitter and angry and it’s not you. That’s not the girl I fell in love with. You don't give up...you just don't!”
“It is me,” Brittany mumbled. “You don’t know me anymore.”
“I know that the Brittany I knew in high school would never have given up like this and she would have fought harder than this. You’re not her. You’re not that girl.”
“You’re right!” Brittany half-yelled, snapping her head to meet Santana's gaze and narrowing her eyes. “I’m not her anymore. I’m not… You don’t know what this is like, San! You don’t know…” Brittany choked back a sob. “You don’t know what it’s like to lose everything,” she finally whispered.
“You didn't lose everything, B. I'm still here...You're choosing to give up is what's happening.”
“I didn’t choose this!”
“You’re choosing to give up, B!”
“I can’t dance! I’m no good if I can’t dance! You’re smart; you went to college, I didn’t! What good am I on stage if I can’t walk, Santana?! If this happened to you, you would still have a job. I won’t. I’m screwed.”
“You're so much more-”
“I’m going home with my mom and dad when the release me,” Brittany cut her off. “Don’t come. You don’t want me anymore so just stay here.”
“B I don’t want to break up with you.”
“Yes you do. You know that if you don’t have to take care of me that your life will be easier.”
“Brittany…”
Brittany turned to look at Santana and she shook her head. “It’s over. Pack up the rest of my stuff and my dad will get it when I go.”
“So this is it? You’re really doing this? After what, like, fifteen years you're just going to let it all go?”
Brittany nodded. “Please go.”
Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. This couldn’t be it. This wasn’t it. She didn’t work that hard to let it all go…but Brittany wanted it and Brittany always got what she wanted. The Latina took a few steps forward and leaned over to press a kiss to the top of Brittany's head.
“Call me,” Santana managed to choke out, whispering against Brittany's hair. “Call me if you need anything.”
Without a look back, Santana quietly left the room and hurried out of the hospital to her car. Once in it she held on until she got home and then once in the safety of her and Brittany’s apartment, she let go. She curled up in their bed and clutched onto Brittany’s pillow and she sobbed into it until she made herself sick into the trashcan by the side of the bed. She finally drifted off into a restless sleep hours later and was awoken by her alarm precisely at six in the morning. She called into work and spent the rest of the day in bed, still holding onto Brittany’s pillow.
XXXXXXXXXX
A week went by and Santana heard nothing from Brittany. She called the hospital every evening when she got home from work and received the same news every night, that Brittany was making progress little by little. She had gone up a few points in her strength tests, they were working on rolling over, and she’d felt tingling in her legs which was an extremely good sign. It made Santana smile a little, yet her heart sank that she wasn't there to share in the milestones. A few times she would walk into the hospital and make it as far as stepping off the elevator on Brittany's floor before the knot in her stomach and the lump in her throat at the thought of another rejection would force her to turn away.
Even throwing herself into her work, the days seemed to drag by. Every time she looked at a clock or calendar, she sighed. She tried staying at the office later to avoid going home to an empty apartment; a co-worker suggested getting a cat to keep her company. It would've been a good idea if Santana actually liked cats. Nearing the end of the second week without Brittany, she made her nightly phone call to the nurse's station but with a different result than she would've liked.
“I'm sorry, Ms. Lopez, but one of the nurses mentioned to Brittany the phone calls...she's asked us to stop giving you information. I'm so sorry...there's nothing I can do.”
Santana didn't even bother saying goodbye. It was official. Brittany had completely shut her out. But the Lopez' didn't give up. She would get her information and she knew she had to try one more option. With trembling fingers, Santana picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact list searching for a number.
“Hello?”
“Anna,” Santana choked. “It’s Santana.”
There was a sigh on the other end of the line before Anna responded. “Hey sweetie, how are you?”
“I’ve been better. How’s B?”
“I’m on my way back up from the cafeteria to see her right now. She told us what happened. I’m so sorry, honey. I’ve tried to talk to her but she won’t listen. I’ve been putting off calling you to have John come pick up her things. She’s doing well, she still has tingling in her legs and the doctor says it’s a good sign.”
“Good,” Santana whispered. “I didn’t pack any of her things…I just…I can’t.”
“You’re going to need to,” Anna said. “They’re transferring her to the hospital in Lima while we finish getting the house renovated. We’re leaving in two weeks.”
Santana felt the tears start to spill over and her chest tighten. There was more than just a void in her heart - it felt like the entire thing was being pulled from her chest.
“C-call me when you're ready to get her things.”
Santana didn’t wait for a response before she hung up the phone and clutched on to Brittany's pillow. Her eyes surveyed the room at all she had to pack. It occurred to her only then that she had barely moved a thing since the accident. Brittany's light gray sweatjacket was hanging over her open closet door, as it had been. There was a headband on the small knob on the pull-door and a pair of yellow socks that never made it to the wash sticking out of a pair of shoes. The blonde's iPod was still in the docking station on her nightstand. Temptation overwhelmed Santana and she picked up the music player, pressed the center button, and promptly burst into a fresh round of tears.
Songbird
Santana
She had recorded it for Brittany when she finally got tired of having to sing it every night in order for the blonde to consent to going to bed. Brittany only listened when she had trouble sleeping and the night before she had complained of being sore from the old harness and excited that she was getting a new one. The combination had made it almost impossible for her to settle down. Santana was the one who had suggested it. By morning, she had forgotten it. Now, though. Now it was all coming back. The final minutes before Santana left for work that morning and how she had looked down and smiled at a sleeping Brittany whose bare back moved up and down rhythmically as she slept soundly. Santana had leaned down and pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple and whispered an, “I love you” bringing a small smile to her girlfriend's lips and a mumbled, “I love you, too, San”. Santana told her to have a great show, as she always did; Brittany told Santana to have a good day with all the money, as she always did. They shared one last kiss goodbye before Santana walked out of the apartment.
Santana wished then that she'd gone back for one more kiss. Watched Brittany perform one more time. Met her back stage with one more bouquet of roses. She wished she could've been there to convince Brittany to come right home instead of testing the new harness.
But it didn't happen. None of it did and none of it ever would, the way things were going. And before she could have any more regrets, Santana's phone rang, forcing her to come back to the real world instead of the fantasies in her head.
“Hello?” she answered, not even bothering to look at the screen.
“Santana...I-It's”
“Q?” Santana sat upright on her bed, the almost-forgotten voice of her best friend coming through her phone. Her life had been about Brittany that she'd literally forgotten the world had existed. She used to talk to Quinn a few times a month at least. Now...she wasn't sure how long it had been. Not since before...
“Why didn't you call me?” Quinn growled. “God, Santana, do you know what it's like to find this out from your fathers-in-law?!”
“So you two are still together?” Santana quipped, a tiny smile on her lips.
“Cut the shit, Santana,” Quinn snapped. “You send each of our kids savings bonds for Christmas and birthdays. And you let them have espresso last time we were in New York. Now why in the hell haven't I gotten a phone call?!”
“I'm sorry,” Santana mumbled. “You...it's just been really hard. How did Berry's dads find out?”
“Leroy's company got contracted to renovate Britt's parents' house. John told him what happened...that Brittany's leaving you. Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Is there anything we can do?”
“I don't know,” Santana whispered. “I'm so fucking lost right now, Q. I've never been without her. And before you ask, I've tried everything. You know she always get what she wants.”
“You know if there's anything we can do all you have to do is ask.”
“Unless you know someone with an apartment with cheap rent in a neighborhood where I won't get mugged every night-”
“Say no more!” Rachel's voice blared through the phone. “You can stay at our place. Quinn and I won't be traveling for a while meaning we need to find a caretaker for the apartment while we find a larger space due to...well, due to the expansion of our family.”
“Are you freaking serious? More kids?! Aren't you on like number ten or something?”
“This will be five and six, thank you very much,” Rachel replied. “The doctor informed us yesterday that I'm carrying twins and due exactly six months from today.”
“Your monsters are going to make me go broke.” With a grin on her face that she would never, ever admit to anyone, Santana dug around in her nightstand to find her iPad. She searched for Rachel and Quinn and found their family page, the four existing kids and their birthdays posted, and added two more entries. “One of them has a birthday coming up, right?”
“Yes, Santana,” Rachel sighed. “I would think that since Gabriela was given your middle name as her first, and that since you're her godmother, that you'd remember her birthday...or at the very least, her name.”
“I was kidding. I'll put a card in the mail soon, okay? Cut me some slack, it's been rough.”
“I apologize for the events of the past few months. But right now we should discuss you moving into the apartment.”
Santana hashed out the details with Rachel over the next hour or so and, although she would never admit it, she was grateful to Rachel not only for the apartment but for getting her mind mind off of the weight still crushing her chest. She talked to all of Rachel and Quinn's kids and tried best to mask the tears when they all told her how much they loved and missed her and made her promise to take care of their stuffed animals.
“Thank you guys,” Santana said once the pair was given back the phone. “I mean it.”
“Despite your constant poking fun at me,” Rachel said, “you know that Quinn and I consider you and Br-...we consider you family.”
“Let us know if you need anything else, alright S?”
“Yeah, I will.”
Pairings/Characters: Santana/Brittany, Brittany's parents (John and Anna), several original characters, side Rachel/Quinn and their children: Gabriela, Ethaniel, Adrian, Susan, Harmony, and Jonah
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~20,600 words
Summary: Dreams are peculiar things. For Santana, her worst nightmare comes true with the words “there's been an accident”. It takes thousands of steps to rebuild her life and replace the nightmare with her greatest dreams.
-Chapter 3-
Time seemed to fly after Santana went back to work. Another week after the accident and Brittany was flexing her elbows with no problems and her grip made Santana wince a little bit at its strength. Delilah started showing Santana and John how to do Brittany's leg stretches and upper body exercises to practice in between her visits.
Exactly four weeks after the accident, Dr. Harris consented to removing the metal brace and brackets keeping Brittany's shoulders immobilized. All that was left was the neck brace which would stay in place for another few weeks. They began moving Brittany's shoulders and, while sore, she gritted her teeth and worked through it. Santana was proud of her girl, exceeding everyone's expectations with every single movement. However, she saw the disappointment in Brittany's eyes. She still wasn't having any feeling in either of her legs and, despite the progress of her upper body, it was her legs she wanted to work.
It was a Saturday the day that Delilah brought in the most complex looking wheelchair Santana had ever seen. There were buttons and a joystick and a headrest and it was heavily padded. It looked like someone would need an engineering degree to figure it out.
“It’s only temporary,” Delilah said. “Once she gets her arms strengthened up and her neck healed we can move her to a regular one.”
“I won’t need it,” Brittany mumbled. “I’ll dance out of here.”
“Of course you will, babe,” Santana said with a smile. She leaned over and kissed Brittany's forehead, thankful that she no longer had to navigate through a maze of metal bars to do so.
It took Brittany a little bit to get adjusted to the new chair - the joystick was extremely sensitive. She ran into things a lot and almost took Santana out a few times when she’d accidentally veer to the left or right when they were navigating through the hallways. It was worth it, though, Santana thought. At least she had something other than the ceiling to look at. Progress was progress and Santana was just as determined as her girlfriend to get her out of that hospital. However, as they say, what goes up must come down.
Brittany’s disappointment started turning into frustration when, after two months, she still wasn’t feeling her legs or doing pirouettes. Dr. Harris, Delilah, Santana, and Brittany's parents all tried explaining that it was going to take a lot more time. They had just taken her out of the neck brace and had started therapy to re-strengthen her neck muscles and get her used to the new stiffness of having the rods and titanium plates in place. She would eventually learn to work with the limited mobility, Dr. Harris assured her. Brittany, however, didn't care. She wanted to get up and walk around which wasn't going to happen anytime soon from what Santana could tell.
Faced with the news that she wasn't going to be dancing anytime soon, Brittany gave up. Santana came in from work on a Thursday evening to find Delilah in Brittany's room despite her normal time being just after lunch.
“Brittany, if you don't keep exercising you will lose everything we've already accomplished,” Delilah pleaded. “Please, you need to do this.”
“Get out.”
“Hey,” Santana sighed, stepping into the room and sitting on the edge of Brittany's bed. “What's going on?”
“I want to go home. I'm done.”
“I don't think you're done, babe.”
“Take me home, San,” Brittany begged. “Please don't make me stay here anymore.” Her bright blue eyes glimmered with tears and despite Santana really, really wanting to...she knew what was best for Brittany right then.
“I can't, B. You need to stay here.”
“I'm not doing anything else,” Brittany stated. She crossed her arms over her chest and, with a wince, turned her head away from both Santana and Delilah.
It shattered Santana's heart to see Brittany like this but she figured the blonde would eventually see her way. Unfortunately, she didn't. Five days went by with Brittany refusing to do therapy and barely acknowledging Santana's presence. She spoke only to her parents on the phone (they had both returned to Lima for the time being, knowing Brittany was in good hands) and mumbled words to hospital staff. After the five days she reluctantly resumed therapy after Santana made a remark that the blonde had been unable to finish feeding herself thanks to not exercising.
Even seeing the progress herself, Brittany became more and more irritable with every day. She wasn't sure whether she meant to or not but Santana started skipping mornings with Brittany, taking shorter lunches, and working later. She was only ever met with scowls from her girlfriend anymore and it wasn't something she wanted to deal with. Trying to have conversation was impossible and so all she could do was sit in the recliner and stare at the TV and get whatever Brittany needed even though all Santana got in return was a frustrated growl. But she was still there and she was determined not to give up. She couldn't.
XXXXXXXXXX
“Hey babe,” Santana said, strolling into Brittany's room around six that evening. She had been trying to get better about spending more time at the hospital but it was almost exhausting being met with anger every time she stepped into the room. But Santana hid her frustrations for Brittany. She smiled her fake optimistic smile and kissed her girlfriend on the head before dropping to the recliner. When Brittany's eyes connected with hers there was a change in them. The bright blue had dulled and a tingle told Santana that tonight wasn't going to be good.
“Had to work late again?” Brittany's growled, anger very apparent as she bared her teeth.
“Yeah, we got a really big account. I told you about it yesterday, remember?”
“Of course,” the blonde snorted. “You get to go to work and I get to stay here.”
Santana sighed. She was exhausted and not in the mood to deal with anything unpleasant but she took a deep breath and sat up in her chair to try and reason with her girlfriend.
“Please Brittany…can we please not do this today? I'm really tired.”
“You don’t want to deal with me then leave. You think I don’t notice, Santana? You think I haven’t noticed how you have to go in early and stay late almost every single day? If you’re going to leave me just do it, okay?”
“I’m not leaving you,” Santana assured her. “I'm not.”
Brittany growled again and tried to shift to turn herself onto her side, Santana instinctively stood and reached out to try and help her, just as she'd been shown.
“Get away from me!” Brittany hissed. “I’ll do it myself! I don’t need you, I don’t want you. Just get away.”
Santana stepped back, slightly shocked at Brittany's reaction. She watched, her arms aching to help as Brittany continued struggling to push herself over but finally lost the battle to exhaustion and gave up. She stared at the ceiling, tears cascading down her cheeks. Santana felt her eyes begin to brim with tears, petrified of what was about to happen next.
“Go home, Santana,” she whispered. “I don’t want you here anymore and you don’t want to be here. Just go.”
“B,” Santana choked, “I do want to be here but...you just make it so hard sometimes!” The tears were running and all of Santana's frustration began bubbling up and she couldn't help but spill her heart out. “You gave up and you’re bitter and angry and it’s not you. That’s not the girl I fell in love with. You don't give up...you just don't!”
“It is me,” Brittany mumbled. “You don’t know me anymore.”
“I know that the Brittany I knew in high school would never have given up like this and she would have fought harder than this. You’re not her. You’re not that girl.”
“You’re right!” Brittany half-yelled, snapping her head to meet Santana's gaze and narrowing her eyes. “I’m not her anymore. I’m not… You don’t know what this is like, San! You don’t know…” Brittany choked back a sob. “You don’t know what it’s like to lose everything,” she finally whispered.
“You didn't lose everything, B. I'm still here...You're choosing to give up is what's happening.”
“I didn’t choose this!”
“You’re choosing to give up, B!”
“I can’t dance! I’m no good if I can’t dance! You’re smart; you went to college, I didn’t! What good am I on stage if I can’t walk, Santana?! If this happened to you, you would still have a job. I won’t. I’m screwed.”
“You're so much more-”
“I’m going home with my mom and dad when the release me,” Brittany cut her off. “Don’t come. You don’t want me anymore so just stay here.”
“B I don’t want to break up with you.”
“Yes you do. You know that if you don’t have to take care of me that your life will be easier.”
“Brittany…”
Brittany turned to look at Santana and she shook her head. “It’s over. Pack up the rest of my stuff and my dad will get it when I go.”
“So this is it? You’re really doing this? After what, like, fifteen years you're just going to let it all go?”
Brittany nodded. “Please go.”
Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt. This couldn’t be it. This wasn’t it. She didn’t work that hard to let it all go…but Brittany wanted it and Brittany always got what she wanted. The Latina took a few steps forward and leaned over to press a kiss to the top of Brittany's head.
“Call me,” Santana managed to choke out, whispering against Brittany's hair. “Call me if you need anything.”
Without a look back, Santana quietly left the room and hurried out of the hospital to her car. Once in it she held on until she got home and then once in the safety of her and Brittany’s apartment, she let go. She curled up in their bed and clutched onto Brittany’s pillow and she sobbed into it until she made herself sick into the trashcan by the side of the bed. She finally drifted off into a restless sleep hours later and was awoken by her alarm precisely at six in the morning. She called into work and spent the rest of the day in bed, still holding onto Brittany’s pillow.
XXXXXXXXXX
A week went by and Santana heard nothing from Brittany. She called the hospital every evening when she got home from work and received the same news every night, that Brittany was making progress little by little. She had gone up a few points in her strength tests, they were working on rolling over, and she’d felt tingling in her legs which was an extremely good sign. It made Santana smile a little, yet her heart sank that she wasn't there to share in the milestones. A few times she would walk into the hospital and make it as far as stepping off the elevator on Brittany's floor before the knot in her stomach and the lump in her throat at the thought of another rejection would force her to turn away.
Even throwing herself into her work, the days seemed to drag by. Every time she looked at a clock or calendar, she sighed. She tried staying at the office later to avoid going home to an empty apartment; a co-worker suggested getting a cat to keep her company. It would've been a good idea if Santana actually liked cats. Nearing the end of the second week without Brittany, she made her nightly phone call to the nurse's station but with a different result than she would've liked.
“I'm sorry, Ms. Lopez, but one of the nurses mentioned to Brittany the phone calls...she's asked us to stop giving you information. I'm so sorry...there's nothing I can do.”
Santana didn't even bother saying goodbye. It was official. Brittany had completely shut her out. But the Lopez' didn't give up. She would get her information and she knew she had to try one more option. With trembling fingers, Santana picked up her phone and scrolled through her contact list searching for a number.
“Hello?”
“Anna,” Santana choked. “It’s Santana.”
There was a sigh on the other end of the line before Anna responded. “Hey sweetie, how are you?”
“I’ve been better. How’s B?”
“I’m on my way back up from the cafeteria to see her right now. She told us what happened. I’m so sorry, honey. I’ve tried to talk to her but she won’t listen. I’ve been putting off calling you to have John come pick up her things. She’s doing well, she still has tingling in her legs and the doctor says it’s a good sign.”
“Good,” Santana whispered. “I didn’t pack any of her things…I just…I can’t.”
“You’re going to need to,” Anna said. “They’re transferring her to the hospital in Lima while we finish getting the house renovated. We’re leaving in two weeks.”
Santana felt the tears start to spill over and her chest tighten. There was more than just a void in her heart - it felt like the entire thing was being pulled from her chest.
“C-call me when you're ready to get her things.”
Santana didn’t wait for a response before she hung up the phone and clutched on to Brittany's pillow. Her eyes surveyed the room at all she had to pack. It occurred to her only then that she had barely moved a thing since the accident. Brittany's light gray sweatjacket was hanging over her open closet door, as it had been. There was a headband on the small knob on the pull-door and a pair of yellow socks that never made it to the wash sticking out of a pair of shoes. The blonde's iPod was still in the docking station on her nightstand. Temptation overwhelmed Santana and she picked up the music player, pressed the center button, and promptly burst into a fresh round of tears.
Songbird
Santana
She had recorded it for Brittany when she finally got tired of having to sing it every night in order for the blonde to consent to going to bed. Brittany only listened when she had trouble sleeping and the night before she had complained of being sore from the old harness and excited that she was getting a new one. The combination had made it almost impossible for her to settle down. Santana was the one who had suggested it. By morning, she had forgotten it. Now, though. Now it was all coming back. The final minutes before Santana left for work that morning and how she had looked down and smiled at a sleeping Brittany whose bare back moved up and down rhythmically as she slept soundly. Santana had leaned down and pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple and whispered an, “I love you” bringing a small smile to her girlfriend's lips and a mumbled, “I love you, too, San”. Santana told her to have a great show, as she always did; Brittany told Santana to have a good day with all the money, as she always did. They shared one last kiss goodbye before Santana walked out of the apartment.
Santana wished then that she'd gone back for one more kiss. Watched Brittany perform one more time. Met her back stage with one more bouquet of roses. She wished she could've been there to convince Brittany to come right home instead of testing the new harness.
But it didn't happen. None of it did and none of it ever would, the way things were going. And before she could have any more regrets, Santana's phone rang, forcing her to come back to the real world instead of the fantasies in her head.
“Hello?” she answered, not even bothering to look at the screen.
“Santana...I-It's”
“Q?” Santana sat upright on her bed, the almost-forgotten voice of her best friend coming through her phone. Her life had been about Brittany that she'd literally forgotten the world had existed. She used to talk to Quinn a few times a month at least. Now...she wasn't sure how long it had been. Not since before...
“Why didn't you call me?” Quinn growled. “God, Santana, do you know what it's like to find this out from your fathers-in-law?!”
“So you two are still together?” Santana quipped, a tiny smile on her lips.
“Cut the shit, Santana,” Quinn snapped. “You send each of our kids savings bonds for Christmas and birthdays. And you let them have espresso last time we were in New York. Now why in the hell haven't I gotten a phone call?!”
“I'm sorry,” Santana mumbled. “You...it's just been really hard. How did Berry's dads find out?”
“Leroy's company got contracted to renovate Britt's parents' house. John told him what happened...that Brittany's leaving you. Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Is there anything we can do?”
“I don't know,” Santana whispered. “I'm so fucking lost right now, Q. I've never been without her. And before you ask, I've tried everything. You know she always get what she wants.”
“You know if there's anything we can do all you have to do is ask.”
“Unless you know someone with an apartment with cheap rent in a neighborhood where I won't get mugged every night-”
“Say no more!” Rachel's voice blared through the phone. “You can stay at our place. Quinn and I won't be traveling for a while meaning we need to find a caretaker for the apartment while we find a larger space due to...well, due to the expansion of our family.”
“Are you freaking serious? More kids?! Aren't you on like number ten or something?”
“This will be five and six, thank you very much,” Rachel replied. “The doctor informed us yesterday that I'm carrying twins and due exactly six months from today.”
“Your monsters are going to make me go broke.” With a grin on her face that she would never, ever admit to anyone, Santana dug around in her nightstand to find her iPad. She searched for Rachel and Quinn and found their family page, the four existing kids and their birthdays posted, and added two more entries. “One of them has a birthday coming up, right?”
“Yes, Santana,” Rachel sighed. “I would think that since Gabriela was given your middle name as her first, and that since you're her godmother, that you'd remember her birthday...or at the very least, her name.”
“I was kidding. I'll put a card in the mail soon, okay? Cut me some slack, it's been rough.”
“I apologize for the events of the past few months. But right now we should discuss you moving into the apartment.”
Santana hashed out the details with Rachel over the next hour or so and, although she would never admit it, she was grateful to Rachel not only for the apartment but for getting her mind mind off of the weight still crushing her chest. She talked to all of Rachel and Quinn's kids and tried best to mask the tears when they all told her how much they loved and missed her and made her promise to take care of their stuffed animals.
“Thank you guys,” Santana said once the pair was given back the phone. “I mean it.”
“Despite your constant poking fun at me,” Rachel said, “you know that Quinn and I consider you and Br-...we consider you family.”
“Let us know if you need anything else, alright S?”
“Yeah, I will.”