The Sound of Your Heart Racing Faster for Me is What Will Save Me (2/3)
Title: The Sound of Your Heart Racing Faster for Me is What Will Save Me
Pairings/Characters: Rachel/Quinn, Rachel's dads. Mentions: Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Puck, Quinn's parents, Brittany, Santana
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~3,700/~10,500 (subject to change)
Summary: AU Rachel has practically been living in a bubble her entire life. Her friends are her dads, she goes to school at her kitchen table, and thanks to her numerous allergies she's rarely allowed outside. When she's eight she makes her first real friend but there's more than just Rachel's back yard fence standing in their way.
Part I
Part II
Winters, springs, summers, and falls went by for Rachel. She kept getting tested a few times a year and she was always disappointed when the doctors told her she wasn’t getting any better. They tried to gradually introduce sunlight but it only ended in painful rashes and blisters that lasted for days. They re-tried a suit made from UV blocking material that they’d tried when Rachel was younger but had an allergic reaction to. The new material was supposedly hypoallergenic. Not to Rachel.
The brunette gave up and just waited for her daily round of allergy shots, although she wasn’t sure what the point was since they didn’t seem to be doing their job. They did stop when Rachel turned thirteen because, as the brunette knew, the point of the shots was to at least lessen the symptoms and it obviously wasn’t working. They put her instead on the highest dose of preventative medicine they could. It made her tired and a little nauseated but it let her go outside and talk to Quinn.
Summer nights were still Rachel’s favorite times. The same sheet seemed to get smaller but it was only because she was getting bigger. As she got older she was allowed to stay out a little later. She would spread out on her back and she and Quinn would talk about anything and everything as they looked up at the sky. When Quinn started learning about astronomy, Rachel made her dads pick up lesson books on it as well. They would point out different constellations and talk about the stories behind them.
It seemed like Rachel blinked and she was fifteen. All the previous year Quinn had talked about high school and cheerleading and the evil coach, Sue Sylvester. She talked about how she, Santana, and Brittany were planning on dominating school in the upcoming years with their status as Cheerios and her title as captain. She talked about Finn Hudson and how even though he was kind of an idiot he was good for her image and kind of sweet.
It happened more and more that Rachel found notes slipped through the fence that Quinn was sorry she couldn’t be there that night but there was a party or a date or something she had to go to. Rachel understood, she couldn’t exactly expect Quinn’s life to revolve around her but it didn’t stop the little sting of jealousy when Quinn talked about all of her friends. None of it stung more than Finn Hudson, though. Rachel had seen enough movies and listened to Quinn enough to know that she had a crush on her best friend. Unfortunately, with Quinn’s interest in boys, Rachel knew she had no chance. So Rachel did what she knew good friends did and listened to Quinn talk about Finn Hudson and shoved her jealousy away.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn?”
“Hm?”
There had been about five minutes of silence between the two after they’d exhausted all of the constellations that could be seen and Quinn had talked about upcoming Cheerios camp.
“You realize that we’ve been doing this for seven years now…and I have no idea what you look like?”
Quinn chuckled. “I don’t know what you look like, either.”
“I have a general idea of your height and obviously you’re athletic due to your position as captain of a cheerleading squad. What else?”
“I’m blonde, just like my parents and my sister.”
“And your eyes?”
“Hazel-ish? A little green…I have this freckle thing on my right iris.”
Rachel smiled. “They sound very fascinating, your eyes.”
“And yours?”
“Dark brown, both hair and eyes. It’s not excruciatingly exciting, I know.”
Rachel heard Quinn shift in the grass and her voice was closer to the fence when she spoke. “Sounds like an amazing combination to me.”
Rachel felt her face get a little warm but she knew it wasn’t an allergic reaction to anything. She was blushing.
“Thank you, Quinn.”
“I could come over…right now. The fence isn’t as big as it used to be. Well…I’m bigger. You know what I mean.”
Rachel giggled. “I…I want you do but I’m not sure how wise that would be considering you’ve been laying on the grass and your clothing could contain fabric I’d have an allergic reaction to.”
“Why would my clothing matter?”
“Because I’m not sure I could resist the urge to hug you.”
Quinn shifted again and Rachel could tell the girl was flat on her back when she responded.
“Someday,” Quinn whispered.
It was silent for the rest of the night until Rachel’s Daddy called her in. She sat up and took her lower lip between her teeth and dared to do something she’d never done before.
“Quinn?”
“Yes, Rachel?”
Rachel slipped her fingers through the small space between the wood slats of the fence. She gasped when Quinn’s fingers tangled with her own for just a moment before Rachel was called for again.
“I’ll be at Cheerios camp next week, it’s in Los Angeles. I’ll write everything down, I promise.”
“See you in a week, Quinn.”
Rachel didn’t bother going out for the next week. It was too hot, anyway, and the nights were sticky and warm. The week went by agonizingly slow but when it ended, Rachel was ecstatic. She grabbed her sheet the second the sun disappeared and ran to the fence to wait. She waited. She sang softly to herself and waited even longer. She had no idea she’d fallen asleep until a hand was on her shoulder.
“Sweetie? I don’t think she’s coming tonight.”
Rachel sighed and looked up at the Fabray house. The windows were all dark but she knew that didn’t mean anything since Quinn’s room had a street facing window.
The next evening Rachel waited again. She waited for hours and was on the verge of giving up when a soft voice carried through the fence.
“R-Rachel?”
“Quinn! Quinn, I was worried last night…is everything alright?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
There came no response but a rustling on the other side of the fence. Rachel peered through to try and figure out what Quinn was doing but there was no sign of her until something hit the fence. Rachel jumped back but before she could inquire what happened, Quinn landed on the ground in front of her with ease.
“Quinn, you can’t just…”
Rachel was cut off by two soft hands cupping her face and Quinn much closer than she should’ve been. She stepped back a few times; Quinn followed and moved her hands to Rachel’s waist. She walked back until the girl still holding onto her was illuminated by a lantern. Rachel’s eyes welled with tears as she looked into the hazel globes belonging to her best friend for the very first time. Rachel reached up and brushed a few stray strands of blonde hair out of the girl’s face and her small hand came to rest on Quinn’s neck.
“Why are you crying, Rachel?”
Rachel swallowed hard. “You’re so beautiful.”
The blonde scoffed. “No I’m not. I’m fat…and really stupid.”
“That’s asinine! You’re gorgeous! And I happen to know for a fact that you’re extremely intelligent. Our conversations are on a very high intellectual level.”
“I mean…I mean I did something really stupid and it’s why I wasn’t here last night.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
One of Quinn’s hands left Rachel’s waist only to reach up and gently brush away the girl’s tears. All of Rachel's previous concerns about Quinn's clothing, soap, or other body products that could potentially cause an allergic reaction flew out of her mind at the feel of Quinn's skin against hers. She nuzzled into the girl’s touch and wished it could never end.
“You’re so pretty,” Quinn whispered, pulling Rachel a little closer. “I should’ve come to you.”
Rachel stared up at her friend in stunned silence until the blonde leaned down and pulled Rachel up for the pair to meet in a soft kiss.
“Quinn, I don’t under-“
“I should’ve come to you,” Quinn mumbled again before again pressing her lips to Rachel’s.
Rachel screwed her eyes shut and savored the kiss for as long as she could, for as long as Quinn would let her, for as long as her body would let her. She whimpered when the tightness in her chest started.
“I have to go,” she gasped. “Epi…”
“What is it? What’d I do wrong?”
“Epi…”
Quinn gripped tight to Rachel’s waist as she helped her as far as the patio. Rachel’s Daddy met them at the door and looked back and forth from Quinn to his distressed daughter before gripping onto Rachel and taking her inside. He shut the sliding door behind them and Rachel stared through the glass at Quinn who remained on the patio with her eyes glued to the girl. Her Daddy dropped her to a kitchen chair, got out her epi pen and she cried out as he jabbed her outer thigh and the pair counted to five together, just like they always did. Quinn had her hand pressed to the glass and her eyes were glassy with tears.
“You’re okay baby girl. You’re okay.” The man looked back toward the door and Quinn pulled her hand away and disappeared. He walked over, pulled the shade closed, and shook his head.
“It’s not her fault, Daddy…”
“She shouldn’t have come over here, Rachel! Look at what happened. You can’t take risks like this…you can’t.”
“I think I love her. Sh-she kissed me.”
“It won’t work.”
“How can you say that? You don’t kno-“
“Remember when you were eight and she moved in? I went over there and introduced myself to the Fabrays and all but begged them to let Quinn come over. I told them we’d provide clothes and anything else they needed to ensure you wouldn’t have any kind of reaction and so you could have a friend. Do you know what they said to me, Rachel? They said they’d heard about us, about your Dad and me. They said our lifestyle was disgusting and they didn’t want their daughter exposed to that. They did compromise and allow her to keep talking to you but that was it because we all thought it would phase out. Now, do you really think the Fabrays are going to be nice and accepting of the fact that their daughter kissed another girl?”
“Daddy she…”
“I don’t want her over here again, Rachel. There are a million different things that could’ve triggered your reaction tonight and I don’t intend on having to find out what it is when we have to take you in to the hospital because of her, do you understand?”
“I understand that, Daddy but Quinn…”
“Please don’t make me lock the doors, Rachel. I don’t want to have to do that. This is for your own safety, for your health…your life.”
Rachel nodded as silence fell over the room. Her Daddy helped her up to bed and Rachel cried herself to sleep.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It was another month and a half before Rachel heard from Quinn. She sat out on her sheet, as per normal, and waited every single night. When she heard the sniffle come from the other side of the fence her heart sank.
“Quinn?”
“Hey…sorry it’s been so long.”
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“Can…can I hold your hand? I rinsed mine with hot water to get rid of anything…I just…I need it right now.”
Rachel reached through the fence and Quinn grasped her fingers.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Quinn.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn’s hand and her heart shattered. Not just because she thought maybe she and Quinn had something special (except for the whole fact of Quinn not being able to touch her without reaction) but because she knew that the road ahead for her best friend was going to be very difficult.
“H-how…Finn?”
“No…”
“Quinn, what happened?"
“Remember when I got back from Cheerios camp? All week it was nothing but Coach Sylvester telling us how fat we were and how horrible we looked. I ran into Finn’s friend Puck at the gas station and one thing led to another and…and we slept together. Finn doesn’t know and I don’t know what to do…I…I don’t know what to do, Rachel. My parents will kill me.”
Rachel pulled her hand until Quinn’s fingers were on her side of the fence. She placed a soft kiss to the digits and Quinn trailed her fingertips over Rachel’s lips.
“I should’ve just come to you,” Quinn sighed. “You always made everything better…even if you didn’t know it. If I’d just come to you it never would’ve happened.”
“My dads know almost everyone in the medical community…they could help you find a doctor to terminate-“
“No!” Quinn hissed. “I can’t do that. I don’t have enough money and…I just can’t.”
“Alright, I’m sorry.” Rachel kissed Quinn’s fingers again. “It was simply a suggestion.”
“I wish I could see you again.”
Rachel glanced back at her house and chewed her lower lip.
“Maybe you can. Come tomorrow night.”
“I will, I promise.”
Rachel didn’t know how she was going to accomplish what she wanted to do but she knew she had to. She packed clothes, soap, shampoo, and towels in a bag and stared at it, wondering how she could quite possibly get it outside without her Daddy seeing. She paced her bedroom floor in thought before an idea hit her. As soon as nightfall came she snuck down the hall to the spare room and pried the window open. She threw the bag as hard as she could out into the back yard and raced downstairs to go outside, grabbing her sheet, and barely saying a word to the man in the living room.
Once outside, Rachel lit the lanterns around the yard and waited. Quinn appeared minutes later and Rachel threw the bag over the fence.
“Go shower,” Rachel said. “Don’t use anything but what I’ve given you.”
“Okay. Back in a little bit.”
Rachel spread out her sheet near one of the lanterns and then stared at the fence until there was the distinct sound of Quinn putting whatever she could up against the fence to climb over. She landed on the ground and followed Rachel back to the light of one of the lanterns. The brunette gasped at the sight before her, Quinn with wet hair and the too-small shirt clinging to her torso and the shorts showing off a vast expanse of skin.
“You’re so gorgeous,” she whispered, reaching out and cupping the blonde girl’s face.
“You won’t say that in about six months,” Quinn mumbled.
“You’ll still be gorgeous.”
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
“Nothing’s stopping you, Quinn.”
Rachel smiled when Quinn tilted her head down to capture her lips. She wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s back and pulled her in, their bodies flush against each other. Quinn darted her tongue out and Rachel opened her mouth to accept it. She prayed with everything she had that her body would let her have this and when nothing happened, no anaphylactic shock or hives, she smiled and held Quinn a little tighter. The only thing she noticed was that her heart was racing but she figured that it was probably not a bad thing. She pulled away only to gasp for air before diving back in and nipping, pulling, savoring Quinn’s lips.
“I think I need to sit down,” she said, finally pulling away.
Quinn’s eyes widened. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Rachel smiled. “I’m wonderful…there’s just an extensive amount of stimulation happening right now that my body isn’t accustomed to.” She dropped to the nearby sheet and pulled Quinn with her.
“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”
Rachel nodded and lay back, Quinn hovered over her with her arms on either side of Rachel’s head and her legs on either side of Rachel’s hips. Lips connected again and Rachel reached around Quinn’s back and gripped onto her. Tongues dueled and Rachel groaned at one of Quinn’s hands moving up her ribcage and stopping just under her breast.
“Rachel…” Quinn pulled away, breathing heavily. “Rachel…I lo-“
“Rachel!”
The brunette sat up quickly at the booming voice that came from the back door. As her Daddy approached she scrambled to stand up, Quinn followed and slipped her hand into Rachel’s.
“Daddy I assure you that everything…”
“Inside.”
“No.” Her voice was a little weak but she wasn’t backing down. “I love her.”
“You’re fifteen and you have no idea the repercussions of…”
“It’s worth it!” Rachel shrieked. “Whatever the repercussions are, they’re worth it!”
Quinn’s grip tightened on her hand. “Mr. Berry, whatever you want me to do to prove…”
“I want you to go home, Quinn.”
“I care about Rachel!”
“If you care about her then you’ll go back over the fence and you’ll leave her alone!”
“Daddy, I can choose for myself what I want!”
“Obviously not. I know you think you know what’s best but you don’t, Rachel. Your dad and I have been dealing with this since you were born and we’re not about to lose you now! Go inside!”
“You don’t want me to grow up!”
“We want you to be responsible! Inside. Now.”
Rachel moved a little closer to Quinn and shook her head.
“You have three minutes to come inside,” he growled before turning and walking back to the house.
Quinn wrapped her arms around the now trembling brunette. Rachel nuzzled her nose into Quinn’s neck and let the tears flow.
“I love you, Quinn. I realize I have a tendency to be dramatic and overstate things but I mean it.”
“I love you, too.”
Rachel stayed in the girl’s embrace until she heard her name being called. She reached up to press one last kiss against Quinn’s lips. She didn’t have to say that she probably wasn’t going to be back anytime soon.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The next morning Rachel woke to the sound of power tools. When she went downstairs her fathers were at the back door installing new locks. There were new locks on all of the windows by the time the day had ended.
“It’s for your own good,” her Dad said.
“I don’t understand why it is I’m not allowed to make my own choices, Dad.”
“She doesn’t understand what it takes to make sure you’re safe. You’re a teenager, Rachel, you’ll get over this.”
Rachel shook her head. “This is beyond overprotective! You’re practically holding me hostage! It’s unfair! Why can’t you let me have this?!”
“What happened to my little girl who wanted to stay safe?”
“She grew up,” Rachel hissed. “She grew up and she wants her own damn life and it seems as though you can’t deal with that! I’m not a little girl anymore!”
“Go upstairs, Rachel. This conversation is finished.”
Rachel stormed upstairs and slammed her door shut, collapsed on her bed, and cried herself to sleep.
Another month and a half went by, Rachel didn’t go out. She would occasionally turn on her TV and watch the back yard but that was the closest she got. She started refusing her schoolwork and music lessons because her heart wasn’t in it. Her heart was with a blonde that was less than 100 yards away from her that she couldn’t have.
One afternoon as she watched the back yard through her TV she spotted something. An envelope had been slipped through the fence and a bag had been tossed over. Rachel quickly bounced down the stairs and to the back door. She pulled the shade aside just a little, just enough to see out and found she wasn’t seeing things.
“Daddy!” she called. “Daddy!”
Her father came rushing into the kitchen and Rachel, with pleading eyes, begged him to go outside and get the envelope. The man sighed and obliged, returning moments later with the envelope that had Rachel’s name written on the front. He opened the envelope and spread out the singular sheet of paper on the kitchen counter for Rachel to read and set to work disinfecting the contents of the bag.
Rachel,
I hope you get to see this…I don’t know how else to get word to you.
My parents found out about the baby and kicked me out. I’m living with Finn now, I still haven’t told him about Puck…I’m just a coward I guess. I’m sure he’ll find out eventually but I don’t know what else to do right now. I don’t know when or if I’ll come back. I kept your shirt…I hope that’s not creepy or anything. It was just the only thing I had. I meant it when I said I loved you, by the way.
I guess this is goodbye for now. I hope not for too long.
-Quinn
Rachel sniffled as the tears slipped out of her eyes.
“I hope you’re happy,” she mumbled to her father. “Quinn got kicked out. I’ll probably never see her again.”
“Rachel…”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Rachel started doing her schoolwork again for the sole purpose of getting her GED so she wouldn’t have to mess with anything anymore. She passed the test around the time she figured Quinn had delivered and she wondered what had become of the blonde and what would become of the child she was carrying. The summer went by and Rachel would occasionally venture into the back yard at night. She would listen for sounds from the other side but all that ever came was silence.
Online college classes sucked, Rachel decided. It’s not that they were difficult it was that Rachel had no idea what she would even do with a college degree. If her dads had any way with it she’d be locked in that house forever. It was August, Quinn had for sure started back at school in her junior year. Rachel wondered every single day what the blonde was up to. In May she’d heard yelling come from the Fabray house and had been able to sneak a peek outside for a few seconds, long enough to see Quinn’s father stumble out of the house followed by thrown clothing. She hardly spoke to her own parents anymore. It was a mumbled “good morning” and “good night” and that was about it.
Part III
Pairings/Characters: Rachel/Quinn, Rachel's dads. Mentions: Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Puck, Quinn's parents, Brittany, Santana
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~3,700/~10,500 (subject to change)
Summary: AU Rachel has practically been living in a bubble her entire life. Her friends are her dads, she goes to school at her kitchen table, and thanks to her numerous allergies she's rarely allowed outside. When she's eight she makes her first real friend but there's more than just Rachel's back yard fence standing in their way.
Part I
Part II
Winters, springs, summers, and falls went by for Rachel. She kept getting tested a few times a year and she was always disappointed when the doctors told her she wasn’t getting any better. They tried to gradually introduce sunlight but it only ended in painful rashes and blisters that lasted for days. They re-tried a suit made from UV blocking material that they’d tried when Rachel was younger but had an allergic reaction to. The new material was supposedly hypoallergenic. Not to Rachel.
The brunette gave up and just waited for her daily round of allergy shots, although she wasn’t sure what the point was since they didn’t seem to be doing their job. They did stop when Rachel turned thirteen because, as the brunette knew, the point of the shots was to at least lessen the symptoms and it obviously wasn’t working. They put her instead on the highest dose of preventative medicine they could. It made her tired and a little nauseated but it let her go outside and talk to Quinn.
Summer nights were still Rachel’s favorite times. The same sheet seemed to get smaller but it was only because she was getting bigger. As she got older she was allowed to stay out a little later. She would spread out on her back and she and Quinn would talk about anything and everything as they looked up at the sky. When Quinn started learning about astronomy, Rachel made her dads pick up lesson books on it as well. They would point out different constellations and talk about the stories behind them.
It seemed like Rachel blinked and she was fifteen. All the previous year Quinn had talked about high school and cheerleading and the evil coach, Sue Sylvester. She talked about how she, Santana, and Brittany were planning on dominating school in the upcoming years with their status as Cheerios and her title as captain. She talked about Finn Hudson and how even though he was kind of an idiot he was good for her image and kind of sweet.
It happened more and more that Rachel found notes slipped through the fence that Quinn was sorry she couldn’t be there that night but there was a party or a date or something she had to go to. Rachel understood, she couldn’t exactly expect Quinn’s life to revolve around her but it didn’t stop the little sting of jealousy when Quinn talked about all of her friends. None of it stung more than Finn Hudson, though. Rachel had seen enough movies and listened to Quinn enough to know that she had a crush on her best friend. Unfortunately, with Quinn’s interest in boys, Rachel knew she had no chance. So Rachel did what she knew good friends did and listened to Quinn talk about Finn Hudson and shoved her jealousy away.
-*-*-*-*-*-
“Quinn?”
“Hm?”
There had been about five minutes of silence between the two after they’d exhausted all of the constellations that could be seen and Quinn had talked about upcoming Cheerios camp.
“You realize that we’ve been doing this for seven years now…and I have no idea what you look like?”
Quinn chuckled. “I don’t know what you look like, either.”
“I have a general idea of your height and obviously you’re athletic due to your position as captain of a cheerleading squad. What else?”
“I’m blonde, just like my parents and my sister.”
“And your eyes?”
“Hazel-ish? A little green…I have this freckle thing on my right iris.”
Rachel smiled. “They sound very fascinating, your eyes.”
“And yours?”
“Dark brown, both hair and eyes. It’s not excruciatingly exciting, I know.”
Rachel heard Quinn shift in the grass and her voice was closer to the fence when she spoke. “Sounds like an amazing combination to me.”
Rachel felt her face get a little warm but she knew it wasn’t an allergic reaction to anything. She was blushing.
“Thank you, Quinn.”
“I could come over…right now. The fence isn’t as big as it used to be. Well…I’m bigger. You know what I mean.”
Rachel giggled. “I…I want you do but I’m not sure how wise that would be considering you’ve been laying on the grass and your clothing could contain fabric I’d have an allergic reaction to.”
“Why would my clothing matter?”
“Because I’m not sure I could resist the urge to hug you.”
Quinn shifted again and Rachel could tell the girl was flat on her back when she responded.
“Someday,” Quinn whispered.
It was silent for the rest of the night until Rachel’s Daddy called her in. She sat up and took her lower lip between her teeth and dared to do something she’d never done before.
“Quinn?”
“Yes, Rachel?”
Rachel slipped her fingers through the small space between the wood slats of the fence. She gasped when Quinn’s fingers tangled with her own for just a moment before Rachel was called for again.
“I’ll be at Cheerios camp next week, it’s in Los Angeles. I’ll write everything down, I promise.”
“See you in a week, Quinn.”
Rachel didn’t bother going out for the next week. It was too hot, anyway, and the nights were sticky and warm. The week went by agonizingly slow but when it ended, Rachel was ecstatic. She grabbed her sheet the second the sun disappeared and ran to the fence to wait. She waited. She sang softly to herself and waited even longer. She had no idea she’d fallen asleep until a hand was on her shoulder.
“Sweetie? I don’t think she’s coming tonight.”
Rachel sighed and looked up at the Fabray house. The windows were all dark but she knew that didn’t mean anything since Quinn’s room had a street facing window.
The next evening Rachel waited again. She waited for hours and was on the verge of giving up when a soft voice carried through the fence.
“R-Rachel?”
“Quinn! Quinn, I was worried last night…is everything alright?”
“I don’t know.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
There came no response but a rustling on the other side of the fence. Rachel peered through to try and figure out what Quinn was doing but there was no sign of her until something hit the fence. Rachel jumped back but before she could inquire what happened, Quinn landed on the ground in front of her with ease.
“Quinn, you can’t just…”
Rachel was cut off by two soft hands cupping her face and Quinn much closer than she should’ve been. She stepped back a few times; Quinn followed and moved her hands to Rachel’s waist. She walked back until the girl still holding onto her was illuminated by a lantern. Rachel’s eyes welled with tears as she looked into the hazel globes belonging to her best friend for the very first time. Rachel reached up and brushed a few stray strands of blonde hair out of the girl’s face and her small hand came to rest on Quinn’s neck.
“Why are you crying, Rachel?”
Rachel swallowed hard. “You’re so beautiful.”
The blonde scoffed. “No I’m not. I’m fat…and really stupid.”
“That’s asinine! You’re gorgeous! And I happen to know for a fact that you’re extremely intelligent. Our conversations are on a very high intellectual level.”
“I mean…I mean I did something really stupid and it’s why I wasn’t here last night.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.”
One of Quinn’s hands left Rachel’s waist only to reach up and gently brush away the girl’s tears. All of Rachel's previous concerns about Quinn's clothing, soap, or other body products that could potentially cause an allergic reaction flew out of her mind at the feel of Quinn's skin against hers. She nuzzled into the girl’s touch and wished it could never end.
“You’re so pretty,” Quinn whispered, pulling Rachel a little closer. “I should’ve come to you.”
Rachel stared up at her friend in stunned silence until the blonde leaned down and pulled Rachel up for the pair to meet in a soft kiss.
“Quinn, I don’t under-“
“I should’ve come to you,” Quinn mumbled again before again pressing her lips to Rachel’s.
Rachel screwed her eyes shut and savored the kiss for as long as she could, for as long as Quinn would let her, for as long as her body would let her. She whimpered when the tightness in her chest started.
“I have to go,” she gasped. “Epi…”
“What is it? What’d I do wrong?”
“Epi…”
Quinn gripped tight to Rachel’s waist as she helped her as far as the patio. Rachel’s Daddy met them at the door and looked back and forth from Quinn to his distressed daughter before gripping onto Rachel and taking her inside. He shut the sliding door behind them and Rachel stared through the glass at Quinn who remained on the patio with her eyes glued to the girl. Her Daddy dropped her to a kitchen chair, got out her epi pen and she cried out as he jabbed her outer thigh and the pair counted to five together, just like they always did. Quinn had her hand pressed to the glass and her eyes were glassy with tears.
“You’re okay baby girl. You’re okay.” The man looked back toward the door and Quinn pulled her hand away and disappeared. He walked over, pulled the shade closed, and shook his head.
“It’s not her fault, Daddy…”
“She shouldn’t have come over here, Rachel! Look at what happened. You can’t take risks like this…you can’t.”
“I think I love her. Sh-she kissed me.”
“It won’t work.”
“How can you say that? You don’t kno-“
“Remember when you were eight and she moved in? I went over there and introduced myself to the Fabrays and all but begged them to let Quinn come over. I told them we’d provide clothes and anything else they needed to ensure you wouldn’t have any kind of reaction and so you could have a friend. Do you know what they said to me, Rachel? They said they’d heard about us, about your Dad and me. They said our lifestyle was disgusting and they didn’t want their daughter exposed to that. They did compromise and allow her to keep talking to you but that was it because we all thought it would phase out. Now, do you really think the Fabrays are going to be nice and accepting of the fact that their daughter kissed another girl?”
“Daddy she…”
“I don’t want her over here again, Rachel. There are a million different things that could’ve triggered your reaction tonight and I don’t intend on having to find out what it is when we have to take you in to the hospital because of her, do you understand?”
“I understand that, Daddy but Quinn…”
“Please don’t make me lock the doors, Rachel. I don’t want to have to do that. This is for your own safety, for your health…your life.”
Rachel nodded as silence fell over the room. Her Daddy helped her up to bed and Rachel cried herself to sleep.
-*-*-*-*-*-
It was another month and a half before Rachel heard from Quinn. She sat out on her sheet, as per normal, and waited every single night. When she heard the sniffle come from the other side of the fence her heart sank.
“Quinn?”
“Hey…sorry it’s been so long.”
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“Can…can I hold your hand? I rinsed mine with hot water to get rid of anything…I just…I need it right now.”
Rachel reached through the fence and Quinn grasped her fingers.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Quinn.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn’s hand and her heart shattered. Not just because she thought maybe she and Quinn had something special (except for the whole fact of Quinn not being able to touch her without reaction) but because she knew that the road ahead for her best friend was going to be very difficult.
“H-how…Finn?”
“No…”
“Quinn, what happened?"
“Remember when I got back from Cheerios camp? All week it was nothing but Coach Sylvester telling us how fat we were and how horrible we looked. I ran into Finn’s friend Puck at the gas station and one thing led to another and…and we slept together. Finn doesn’t know and I don’t know what to do…I…I don’t know what to do, Rachel. My parents will kill me.”
Rachel pulled her hand until Quinn’s fingers were on her side of the fence. She placed a soft kiss to the digits and Quinn trailed her fingertips over Rachel’s lips.
“I should’ve just come to you,” Quinn sighed. “You always made everything better…even if you didn’t know it. If I’d just come to you it never would’ve happened.”
“My dads know almost everyone in the medical community…they could help you find a doctor to terminate-“
“No!” Quinn hissed. “I can’t do that. I don’t have enough money and…I just can’t.”
“Alright, I’m sorry.” Rachel kissed Quinn’s fingers again. “It was simply a suggestion.”
“I wish I could see you again.”
Rachel glanced back at her house and chewed her lower lip.
“Maybe you can. Come tomorrow night.”
“I will, I promise.”
Rachel didn’t know how she was going to accomplish what she wanted to do but she knew she had to. She packed clothes, soap, shampoo, and towels in a bag and stared at it, wondering how she could quite possibly get it outside without her Daddy seeing. She paced her bedroom floor in thought before an idea hit her. As soon as nightfall came she snuck down the hall to the spare room and pried the window open. She threw the bag as hard as she could out into the back yard and raced downstairs to go outside, grabbing her sheet, and barely saying a word to the man in the living room.
Once outside, Rachel lit the lanterns around the yard and waited. Quinn appeared minutes later and Rachel threw the bag over the fence.
“Go shower,” Rachel said. “Don’t use anything but what I’ve given you.”
“Okay. Back in a little bit.”
Rachel spread out her sheet near one of the lanterns and then stared at the fence until there was the distinct sound of Quinn putting whatever she could up against the fence to climb over. She landed on the ground and followed Rachel back to the light of one of the lanterns. The brunette gasped at the sight before her, Quinn with wet hair and the too-small shirt clinging to her torso and the shorts showing off a vast expanse of skin.
“You’re so gorgeous,” she whispered, reaching out and cupping the blonde girl’s face.
“You won’t say that in about six months,” Quinn mumbled.
“You’ll still be gorgeous.”
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
“Nothing’s stopping you, Quinn.”
Rachel smiled when Quinn tilted her head down to capture her lips. She wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s back and pulled her in, their bodies flush against each other. Quinn darted her tongue out and Rachel opened her mouth to accept it. She prayed with everything she had that her body would let her have this and when nothing happened, no anaphylactic shock or hives, she smiled and held Quinn a little tighter. The only thing she noticed was that her heart was racing but she figured that it was probably not a bad thing. She pulled away only to gasp for air before diving back in and nipping, pulling, savoring Quinn’s lips.
“I think I need to sit down,” she said, finally pulling away.
Quinn’s eyes widened. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Rachel smiled. “I’m wonderful…there’s just an extensive amount of stimulation happening right now that my body isn’t accustomed to.” She dropped to the nearby sheet and pulled Quinn with her.
“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”
Rachel nodded and lay back, Quinn hovered over her with her arms on either side of Rachel’s head and her legs on either side of Rachel’s hips. Lips connected again and Rachel reached around Quinn’s back and gripped onto her. Tongues dueled and Rachel groaned at one of Quinn’s hands moving up her ribcage and stopping just under her breast.
“Rachel…” Quinn pulled away, breathing heavily. “Rachel…I lo-“
“Rachel!”
The brunette sat up quickly at the booming voice that came from the back door. As her Daddy approached she scrambled to stand up, Quinn followed and slipped her hand into Rachel’s.
“Daddy I assure you that everything…”
“Inside.”
“No.” Her voice was a little weak but she wasn’t backing down. “I love her.”
“You’re fifteen and you have no idea the repercussions of…”
“It’s worth it!” Rachel shrieked. “Whatever the repercussions are, they’re worth it!”
Quinn’s grip tightened on her hand. “Mr. Berry, whatever you want me to do to prove…”
“I want you to go home, Quinn.”
“I care about Rachel!”
“If you care about her then you’ll go back over the fence and you’ll leave her alone!”
“Daddy, I can choose for myself what I want!”
“Obviously not. I know you think you know what’s best but you don’t, Rachel. Your dad and I have been dealing with this since you were born and we’re not about to lose you now! Go inside!”
“You don’t want me to grow up!”
“We want you to be responsible! Inside. Now.”
Rachel moved a little closer to Quinn and shook her head.
“You have three minutes to come inside,” he growled before turning and walking back to the house.
Quinn wrapped her arms around the now trembling brunette. Rachel nuzzled her nose into Quinn’s neck and let the tears flow.
“I love you, Quinn. I realize I have a tendency to be dramatic and overstate things but I mean it.”
“I love you, too.”
Rachel stayed in the girl’s embrace until she heard her name being called. She reached up to press one last kiss against Quinn’s lips. She didn’t have to say that she probably wasn’t going to be back anytime soon.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The next morning Rachel woke to the sound of power tools. When she went downstairs her fathers were at the back door installing new locks. There were new locks on all of the windows by the time the day had ended.
“It’s for your own good,” her Dad said.
“I don’t understand why it is I’m not allowed to make my own choices, Dad.”
“She doesn’t understand what it takes to make sure you’re safe. You’re a teenager, Rachel, you’ll get over this.”
Rachel shook her head. “This is beyond overprotective! You’re practically holding me hostage! It’s unfair! Why can’t you let me have this?!”
“What happened to my little girl who wanted to stay safe?”
“She grew up,” Rachel hissed. “She grew up and she wants her own damn life and it seems as though you can’t deal with that! I’m not a little girl anymore!”
“Go upstairs, Rachel. This conversation is finished.”
Rachel stormed upstairs and slammed her door shut, collapsed on her bed, and cried herself to sleep.
Another month and a half went by, Rachel didn’t go out. She would occasionally turn on her TV and watch the back yard but that was the closest she got. She started refusing her schoolwork and music lessons because her heart wasn’t in it. Her heart was with a blonde that was less than 100 yards away from her that she couldn’t have.
One afternoon as she watched the back yard through her TV she spotted something. An envelope had been slipped through the fence and a bag had been tossed over. Rachel quickly bounced down the stairs and to the back door. She pulled the shade aside just a little, just enough to see out and found she wasn’t seeing things.
“Daddy!” she called. “Daddy!”
Her father came rushing into the kitchen and Rachel, with pleading eyes, begged him to go outside and get the envelope. The man sighed and obliged, returning moments later with the envelope that had Rachel’s name written on the front. He opened the envelope and spread out the singular sheet of paper on the kitchen counter for Rachel to read and set to work disinfecting the contents of the bag.
Rachel,
I hope you get to see this…I don’t know how else to get word to you.
My parents found out about the baby and kicked me out. I’m living with Finn now, I still haven’t told him about Puck…I’m just a coward I guess. I’m sure he’ll find out eventually but I don’t know what else to do right now. I don’t know when or if I’ll come back. I kept your shirt…I hope that’s not creepy or anything. It was just the only thing I had. I meant it when I said I loved you, by the way.
I guess this is goodbye for now. I hope not for too long.
-Quinn
Rachel sniffled as the tears slipped out of her eyes.
“I hope you’re happy,” she mumbled to her father. “Quinn got kicked out. I’ll probably never see her again.”
“Rachel…”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
Rachel started doing her schoolwork again for the sole purpose of getting her GED so she wouldn’t have to mess with anything anymore. She passed the test around the time she figured Quinn had delivered and she wondered what had become of the blonde and what would become of the child she was carrying. The summer went by and Rachel would occasionally venture into the back yard at night. She would listen for sounds from the other side but all that ever came was silence.
Online college classes sucked, Rachel decided. It’s not that they were difficult it was that Rachel had no idea what she would even do with a college degree. If her dads had any way with it she’d be locked in that house forever. It was August, Quinn had for sure started back at school in her junior year. Rachel wondered every single day what the blonde was up to. In May she’d heard yelling come from the Fabray house and had been able to sneak a peek outside for a few seconds, long enough to see Quinn’s father stumble out of the house followed by thrown clothing. She hardly spoke to her own parents anymore. It was a mumbled “good morning” and “good night” and that was about it.
Part III