Fast Track 5/6
Fast Track 5/6
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words:3,900
Rating: NC17
Author: insane_songbird
Artist: vivys
Warnings: established relationship, m/m sex, language, blood/violence, guns, assassins etc.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Summary: Jared and Jensen's relationship started with a bang. Since their first meeting they've been used to breaking the Speed Limit to the point of putting their lives in constant danger. Now however, after a year of quiet domesticity under witness protection, they are forced to face just how little they have in common. Just as their partnership is coming apart at the seams though, their cover crumbles, and they are back in the game.
>> Sequel to Speed Limit. Knowledge of the fic is not necessary but I'd still recommend it.
~ This story is complete and will be updated twice a week ~
Master Post
Part Five
They didn’t say much the next day, didn’t really know what to say after the big blow out the night before. So they stuck to going over the schedule of their plan once more with somber faces, stealing looks at each other whenever they could. The air of finality had only thickened by the time they left the apartment, and Jared found himself leaning into Jensen just a bit tighter as they got on the bike once more.
He breathed against the man’s shoulder, trying to memorize the smell of him for the years to come. He knew he couldn’t even keep a photo of them, once their new identities were established. There was a knot in his throat that made him swallow repeatedly. He wanted to just tell Jensen that he refused to accept this break up, or that they should not make rash decisions in the face of grave peril, but his tongue stuck to his palate, and he said no such thing.
They arrived at the meeting place at within the given window of time. It was a public place but not too crowded, and Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist as they got off the bike. For a moment, the writer thought that this was it, and Jensen would revoke his decision of the last night. Then he felt something hard and cold slide underneath his jacket, and into his jeans.
“Just in case.” Green eyes flickered up and held his gaze and Jared nodded with a mixture of disappointment and dread as he adjusted the gun that had just been passed to him. He made sure it was out of sight, zipping up his jacket even though it was too warm for that.
Together they made their way into the shop that belonged to the address they'd been given, hoping that neither of them would need their weapons.
The clerk just looked at them and nodded towards an unmarked door at the back before coming out from behind his counter and walking towards the door. He didn’t lock it or turn the open sign, just stepping outside for a smoke that Jared was sure was a cover up for standing guard to see if anybody would follow them inside.
They looked at each other not saying anything, but Jensen stopped only two steps away from the door pulling his gun. “Stand next to the door.”
Jared wanted to protest but didn’t, instead pulling his own gun and standing beside the door, back to the wall. Jensen turned the doorknob and pushed. Then all tension seemed to flow out of his shoulders, and his finger slipped off the trigger as he let the gun hang by his side. He jerked his head inside, and Jared followed, closing the door behind him.
“Hey Katie.” He couldn’t help the relieved grin that stole over his face as he took in the blond woman who was way too pretty to be a federal agent but way too tough to be anything but. With her were half a dozen agents. They all wore bullet proof vests and sidearms, looking as though they were prepared for a small war. It was oddly comforting.
“Hey Jared. Jensen.” She nodded at them before signaling two of her men to secure the door. A third grabbed a walkie talky, barking orders and listening to the crackling sound of the answers.
The two witnesses were each handed a Kevlar vest, and Jensen helped Jared fasten the straps, since his banged up shoulder didn’t allow him to do it himself, mindful of not pulling the thing too tight, to keep the belt-bruise from bothering him too much. Jared gave him a tight smile, once more wondering what he would do now that they were so absolutely over.
Katie didn’t ask them to hand over their weapons, and Jared pocketed his again. For all they knew they weren’t out of danger yet.
“Agent Cassidy? The cars are ready.”
Katie nodded at the agent with the walkie talkie before herding them towards another door that led into a back alley.
The pick up went as smoothly as possible. Jensen found himself worried about it but berated himself about his growing paranoia. The safe house they ended up in was just like so many they had seen when they still had to give statements in court, and had to wait for judgment to be passed. It was strikingly normal from the outside, nothing out of the ordinary except maybe for the lack of anything personal. It wasn’t really homely on the inside but clean and ordered, and the windows could not be opened from the outside, and there were extra security locks on the doors that were reinforced from the inside, while looking very unremarkable from the outside.
The small house seemed nearly cramped, with half a dozen Federal Marshals plus Katie, Jared and Jensen, but there was a huge couch and a TV, a stocked fridge and a radio. No phone, no computer. Jensen found himself sitting on the couch, pretending to watch some baseball game with one of the Marshals but really watching Jared talk to Katie in the open kitchen over a glass of lemonade. Every once in a while, one of them would shoot Jensen a look, and he’d pretend not to be watching. He probably failed spectacularly.
He could’t even tell which inning they were in, when Jared finally nodded at Katie before walking towards the couch, smiling at the Marshal, who got up to move to a recliner standing in the group of living room furniture.
“Anything interesting?” The taller man nodded towards the screen, and it could have been the best game in the last decade, and Jensen would not have been able to tell. So he just shrugged nonchalantly.
“Nah. You?”
“I just asked Katie to get in contact with my publisher when we’re placed. I want them to go through with publication and have my part of the sales given to charity.”
Jensen frowned. He knew Jared had worked very hard on this book. He should know after all, having bitched about the man’s working hours more than enough. To think that he wouldn’t get any acknowledgement for it wasn’t sitting right. “I’m really sorry you won’t get to see it through, Jay.”
The man just shrugged, sighing. “Yeah, well. At least I’ll be alive to look up my sales on the internet every once in a while… I also told Katie that we've decided to split up.”
Jensen’s head snapped up, and he looked intently at Jared, who was staring straight ahead at the TV screen with an unreadable expression. Jensen tried to swallow the bitter taste of loss. He wasn’t sure if he would have had the guts to tell Katie, to go through with it, but obviously Jared didn’t have such misgivings.
“Oh. What- What did she say?” His heart had sped up for no other reason than the thought of losing Jared forever. He wanted it to hurt, physically hurt, but the only pain there was just that dull feeling in his chest, and the pounding of his own heart as he had to look away, so Jared couldn’t see him blink away possible tears.
“She was… surprised. But she’ll take care of it. It might take a few days though, to prep our new identities and all.”
Jensen nodded, sniffing silently like he had a slight cold as he rubbed his suddenly wet palm over his pants. “Yeah. I thought it would.” For a moment he wished to just stay in this unremarkable house forever.
“I’m sorry.”
Jensen turned to Jared again frowning. “You shouldn’t be, I-“
“No… Katie told me they think we were found out through my publisher. Even though they didn’t know my real name, you know I met with the editor a few times, and they think that someone there knew me through the press from the trial and the first book.”
Jared looked smaller than before, and he looked at the other man with those big puppy eyes that begged for forgiveness. All Jensen wanted to do was kiss that look away. Instead, he attempted a sad smile, simply shaking his head.
“Don’t be sorry, Jared. It’s not your fault, even if that is what happened. You couldn’t have known. Just… don’t meet people personally for the next book?”
“Yeah. I promise.” For a moment Jensen felt the sting of the knowledge that he’d never know it when Jared would write a new book.
Katie came through for them within forty eight hours. Jensen wanted to slug her for being so bloody efficient, but he knew the only person deserving his anger was himself. The car to pick him up was waiting outside. Jared’s was waiting around the block to drive up half a hour after Jensen would be gone.
He could feel his breathing become fast and shallow, and a few dark spots danced around the edges of his vision. When he turned to face Jared - to say their goodbyes - he could see him chewing his bottom lip, eyes gleaming wet. It didn’t matter that they were terrible at this whole domesticity thing together. They had shared the probably worst time of their lives and had survived. Maybe they had even created some of the best moments together, at least for Jensen they had.
Green eyes caught hazel and he stepped into Jared’s personal space. “Promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”
Jared nodded sniffing as his jaw muscles worked. “You too, okay?”
“Ill try.” He couldn’t help the little one sided smirk that pulled on his lips.
There wasn’t really anything to say that would make their goodbyes more heartfelt or meaningful, and so Jensen decided to give into the impulse to cup Jared’s face and kiss him one last time. Jared seemed to melt into the touch, putting one arm around Jensen and deepening their kiss for the minute that it lasted. When they broke apart they both had wet spots on their cheeks, and were breathing a little harder.
“Bye Jay.” It was hardly more than a release of air but all he could say. He turned away then, heading towards the door, only to have his wrist caught in Jared’s large hand. His heart sped up for a moment, and he looked at Jared with the slight hope that the man would backpedal on their decision.
“Just… Do one thing for me, Jen, okay? In a month they’ll release my book. If you pass a bookstore, go inside and look at the dedication.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. Jared gave him the ghost of a smile huffing out a relieved sounding sigh. “Bye Jen.”
As Jensen walked out of the house and got into the car that was his shuttle to yet another life, he couldn’t look back. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go if Jared would be standing by that door.
Jared smiled at the teenage girl that had tried to flirt for him for the last five minutes as she finally gave up and left with her books and a wink that was way too suggestive for her age. He chuckled under his breath as he turned back to his computer. The idea of sitting at home alone every day had been scary to say the least, so Jared had Katie set him up with a new job to go with his new life. Maybe the library wasn’t the fanciest job for a guy with two novels under his belt, and a degree in journalism, but it was quiet and occupied his time. He got to interact with people and still had as many books as he wanted at his disposal. It wasn’t a bad job.
“Wade, how long have you been with us?” The colleague on his shift, Janet, was a part timer studying something philisophical at the local college. She had been extremely welcoming to the new guy… she was also kind of nosey.
“About a month”, he answered with a shrug, while his brain supplied ‘Thirty-seven days’. Sometimes he wondered if one day he would startle, when he noticed that he didn’t know how long it had been, since he had last seen Jensen, said goodbye to him. Maybe one day he would not come home to an empty apartment and wonder if Jensen would also find his bed so terribly cold when he slipped inside.
It had hardly been a long time since they parted, and Jared knew that he would probably get used to it, might even find someone else with time. But somehow, the thought of sharing his life with someone who didn’t know him, didn’t even know his real name, was less than desirable.
“So, how long will it take you to join the rest of the staff on our Friday night out?” She grinned at him wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“I haven’t even met the whole staff yet.”
“One more reason to come then!” She clapped him on the shoulder, skipping away as a customer waved at her from the SciFi section.
“I’ll think about it.”
Jensen should have known that it was a stupid idea from the moment he set foot into the book store the day Jared’s book was released. That didn’t mean that he would have ever considered backpedaling on his promise. He had called the store the week before to preorder the thing, because he wasn’t sure they would have it stocked, so he was sure he’d get his hands on the thing that very day.
When the clerk handed him the small bag with the book inside, it took all of his will power not to take it out right there and open the bloody thing. However he had more self restraint than that, and, no matter what he would read there, his heart was already racing, and he knew that he would have some kind of emotional response to just holding the last thing to ever connect him with Jared in his hands. So he clutched the bag in sweaty hands and left the bookstore, walking home on stiff knees but with long, determined strides. When he was home, he got a beer and sat down on the small couch in the living room.
Jared’s pen name for this book was Jonathan Webber. The cover was plain, and his fingers traced the letters of the name he had no emotional connection to for a second, before he opened the book with a shaky breath. The dedication was short, and there was no name there, but he still knew it was for him alone.
I love you.
J
He stared at it for a long time as tears ran down his cheek unstopped. They had never said it, but Jensen knew that he loved Jared. Now he was sure it was mutual, and he felt useless and defeated by the fact that he would never be able to say it back. He grabbed his beer and emptied it in one long pull.
Jared walked home in the low hanging afternoon sun, humming some song that had got stuck in his head after playing on the radio this morning. He had both hands deep in the pockets of his coat as he watched the town buzz around him. The walk was his time to think, and he resolved not to take the car as long as the weather was nice enough. He was contemplating the plot of a new story, the characters and their backgrounds but had to restart every time he would find the lead to be based on Jensen in pretty much every way.
It wasn’t a bad thing to be inspired by things, but if he wanted to get over their time together, this wasn’t the way. Writing a book was a long process that took heart and investment, and he wasn’t sure if he could spend the better part of a year thinking about the man he had loved and lost. He was doing way to much of that as it was.
His fingers skimmed over the tazer in his jacket pocket. He had kept his promise to Jensen. He was careful. There was also a small canister of pepper spray on his keychain once more. He had gone through several stores, until he found the same brand Jensen had given him. It was probably one more thing he shouldn’t have done, but it made him feel safer, and their break-up was still fresh enough that he could admit to not being over it yet.
He climbed the stairs of his apartment complex one by one, until he reached the third floor. The place was clean and well kept, and his apartment was bigger than he really needed. He was thinking about getting a dog, someone to share his time with. Maybe he would let it sleep in his bed, even though his mother would have had a fit at the very idea.
The door clicked open easily as he turned his key. He slipped off his shoes right by the door, hanging the keys on the small hook on the wall. Jared had always found rituals calming, and so he locked the door behind him and grabbed the tazer from his jacket hanging the piece of clothing in the closet before making his way to the cupboard by the TV just across the living room, where he always kept the weapon.
He opened the drawer as he saw motion out of the corner of his eye. He flew around, breath catching in surprise and flinched as the mirror behind him shattered, when a well known pop-swoosh sounded. There was a man walking out of the kitchenette area of the apartment. He wore a ski mask and held a gun in his hand, taking aim once more.
Jared reacted instinctively, swiping his hand along the top of the cupboard, knocking a vase towards the attacker, watching as it spilled a curtain of water and flowers into the line of fire. The man bounced backwards, and Jared didn’t hesitate. If the guy was a decent shot there, was no way he would make it to the door. Instead Jared charged. The gun swung towards him once more, but he smacked the guy's hand away with a swipe of his arm, pressing the tazer to the hitman’s chest and pushing the button the moment after his hand lost contact to the guy’s body.
The man jerked and grunted as the electricity charged through his body, a shot went off with one more pop and buried itself in the living room wall. When the man dropped to the ground, Jared gritted his teeth in anger and resentment and tazered the man once more just to be sure. He grabbed the gun from the hitman’s hand and stood over the unconscious person with panting breaths for a long minute. His mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour, and he skimmed his fingers through his hair, only pulling them back when the metal of the gun scraped over his scalp. That was really not a good move.
His first thought was the fact that someone had tried to kill him again. This wasn’t a break in gone wrong. A burgler wouldn’t be carrying a silenced gun. Somehow they had found out where he was and had sent this man to put an end to him once and for all, and if the guy had waited to make his move for three more seconds, he would have succeeded.
Then his mind jumped to the how. Nobody knew where he was - who he was - but for the Marshals, and those people who knew, also knew where Jensen was. His eyes grew wide, and he only spared the guy on the floor one look before running to the door and grabbing his keys and jacket. He hardly remembered hiding the gun and tazer before running out of the building.
By the time he reached his car, he had called the police and reported that someone had broken into his apartment. He was already dialing the second number when he slipped behind the wheel.
Katie sighed as she looked at the pile of paperwork in front of her. The mess that was the Padalecki/ Ackles might have been resolved at least for now, but the mountain of files to order and reports to write was anything but. She started sifting through the papers one by one, hoping that her bosses would be satisfied with her explanation to the big questions: Why? How? And Who?
She wasn’t optimistic. She herself wasn’t happy with the answers she'd found so far, since they were all just theories.
When her phone rang, she wanted to take the damn thing and hurl it against the next wall, but she didn’t. It flipped open with a click and a sigh, and Katie brought it to her ear with a curt “yes?”
“Katie? Katie, it’s Jared.”
She stopped for a second, blinking and wondering when this case had turned into her nemesis. “Jared? what the hell are you doing? Is that a secure channel?”
“I don’t know. Probably not, but I don’t really care.” He sounded hurried, agitated, and Katie’s spine went straight as a flag pole within a single breath.
“What happened?”
“A gunman in my apartment…”
“WHAT?” She jumped to her feet, grabbing her gun and badge.
“I tazered him… twice. The police are on their way, but that’s not the problem.” Jared’s voice was tight, his words curt. He didn’t sound like Jared, really, except for the voice itself.
“What do you mean ‘That’s not the problem’? Someone just tried to kill you… again!”
“Yes, but they didn’t succeed. But how did they know how to find me?”
“I-“ she broke off rubbing her eyes wearily. This was bad, a calamity really. “I have no fucking idea. Nobody outside of the Federal Marshalls’ Office knows your location.”
“Exactly and when someone found out where I was, then they will also know where Jensen is.” Jared’s voice was too loud, too tense.
“Fuck… FUCK!”
“Katie, I need you to tell me where he is.”
“I don’t know. I’m FBI, Jared…”
“But you can find out.”
“I can’t do that, Jared. I’ll inform the Marshalls and they’ll send a team…”
“NO! You don’t get it, Katie. Someone is selling us out.”
He was right, and she knew it, so she grabbed her car keys and ran out the back door to the parking lot. “Fine.” She bit her lip wondering if she was making a terrible mistake. “Jensen didn’t trust the Marshalls so much anymore, so he contacted me.”
“You know where he is?”
“Yes… I’ll try to call him and warn him. I’ll meet you there.”
Jensen was about three hour’s drive from her and not much less from where Jared was. She told him the address before hanging up, dialing Jensen’s number and praying he’d pick up.
...next part...
A/N.: posting early because I'm leaving on an over-night trip in half an hour... This thekind of fix you guys had in mind? ;)
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words:3,900
Rating: NC17
Author: insane_songbird
Artist: vivys
Warnings: established relationship, m/m sex, language, blood/violence, guns, assassins etc.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Summary: Jared and Jensen's relationship started with a bang. Since their first meeting they've been used to breaking the Speed Limit to the point of putting their lives in constant danger. Now however, after a year of quiet domesticity under witness protection, they are forced to face just how little they have in common. Just as their partnership is coming apart at the seams though, their cover crumbles, and they are back in the game.
>> Sequel to Speed Limit. Knowledge of the fic is not necessary but I'd still recommend it.
~ This story is complete and will be updated twice a week ~
Master Post
Part Five
They didn’t say much the next day, didn’t really know what to say after the big blow out the night before. So they stuck to going over the schedule of their plan once more with somber faces, stealing looks at each other whenever they could. The air of finality had only thickened by the time they left the apartment, and Jared found himself leaning into Jensen just a bit tighter as they got on the bike once more.
He breathed against the man’s shoulder, trying to memorize the smell of him for the years to come. He knew he couldn’t even keep a photo of them, once their new identities were established. There was a knot in his throat that made him swallow repeatedly. He wanted to just tell Jensen that he refused to accept this break up, or that they should not make rash decisions in the face of grave peril, but his tongue stuck to his palate, and he said no such thing.
They arrived at the meeting place at within the given window of time. It was a public place but not too crowded, and Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist as they got off the bike. For a moment, the writer thought that this was it, and Jensen would revoke his decision of the last night. Then he felt something hard and cold slide underneath his jacket, and into his jeans.
“Just in case.” Green eyes flickered up and held his gaze and Jared nodded with a mixture of disappointment and dread as he adjusted the gun that had just been passed to him. He made sure it was out of sight, zipping up his jacket even though it was too warm for that.
Together they made their way into the shop that belonged to the address they'd been given, hoping that neither of them would need their weapons.
The clerk just looked at them and nodded towards an unmarked door at the back before coming out from behind his counter and walking towards the door. He didn’t lock it or turn the open sign, just stepping outside for a smoke that Jared was sure was a cover up for standing guard to see if anybody would follow them inside.
They looked at each other not saying anything, but Jensen stopped only two steps away from the door pulling his gun. “Stand next to the door.”
Jared wanted to protest but didn’t, instead pulling his own gun and standing beside the door, back to the wall. Jensen turned the doorknob and pushed. Then all tension seemed to flow out of his shoulders, and his finger slipped off the trigger as he let the gun hang by his side. He jerked his head inside, and Jared followed, closing the door behind him.
“Hey Katie.” He couldn’t help the relieved grin that stole over his face as he took in the blond woman who was way too pretty to be a federal agent but way too tough to be anything but. With her were half a dozen agents. They all wore bullet proof vests and sidearms, looking as though they were prepared for a small war. It was oddly comforting.
“Hey Jared. Jensen.” She nodded at them before signaling two of her men to secure the door. A third grabbed a walkie talky, barking orders and listening to the crackling sound of the answers.
The two witnesses were each handed a Kevlar vest, and Jensen helped Jared fasten the straps, since his banged up shoulder didn’t allow him to do it himself, mindful of not pulling the thing too tight, to keep the belt-bruise from bothering him too much. Jared gave him a tight smile, once more wondering what he would do now that they were so absolutely over.
Katie didn’t ask them to hand over their weapons, and Jared pocketed his again. For all they knew they weren’t out of danger yet.
“Agent Cassidy? The cars are ready.”
Katie nodded at the agent with the walkie talkie before herding them towards another door that led into a back alley.
The pick up went as smoothly as possible. Jensen found himself worried about it but berated himself about his growing paranoia. The safe house they ended up in was just like so many they had seen when they still had to give statements in court, and had to wait for judgment to be passed. It was strikingly normal from the outside, nothing out of the ordinary except maybe for the lack of anything personal. It wasn’t really homely on the inside but clean and ordered, and the windows could not be opened from the outside, and there were extra security locks on the doors that were reinforced from the inside, while looking very unremarkable from the outside.
The small house seemed nearly cramped, with half a dozen Federal Marshals plus Katie, Jared and Jensen, but there was a huge couch and a TV, a stocked fridge and a radio. No phone, no computer. Jensen found himself sitting on the couch, pretending to watch some baseball game with one of the Marshals but really watching Jared talk to Katie in the open kitchen over a glass of lemonade. Every once in a while, one of them would shoot Jensen a look, and he’d pretend not to be watching. He probably failed spectacularly.
He could’t even tell which inning they were in, when Jared finally nodded at Katie before walking towards the couch, smiling at the Marshal, who got up to move to a recliner standing in the group of living room furniture.
“Anything interesting?” The taller man nodded towards the screen, and it could have been the best game in the last decade, and Jensen would not have been able to tell. So he just shrugged nonchalantly.
“Nah. You?”
“I just asked Katie to get in contact with my publisher when we’re placed. I want them to go through with publication and have my part of the sales given to charity.”
Jensen frowned. He knew Jared had worked very hard on this book. He should know after all, having bitched about the man’s working hours more than enough. To think that he wouldn’t get any acknowledgement for it wasn’t sitting right. “I’m really sorry you won’t get to see it through, Jay.”
The man just shrugged, sighing. “Yeah, well. At least I’ll be alive to look up my sales on the internet every once in a while… I also told Katie that we've decided to split up.”
Jensen’s head snapped up, and he looked intently at Jared, who was staring straight ahead at the TV screen with an unreadable expression. Jensen tried to swallow the bitter taste of loss. He wasn’t sure if he would have had the guts to tell Katie, to go through with it, but obviously Jared didn’t have such misgivings.
“Oh. What- What did she say?” His heart had sped up for no other reason than the thought of losing Jared forever. He wanted it to hurt, physically hurt, but the only pain there was just that dull feeling in his chest, and the pounding of his own heart as he had to look away, so Jared couldn’t see him blink away possible tears.
“She was… surprised. But she’ll take care of it. It might take a few days though, to prep our new identities and all.”
Jensen nodded, sniffing silently like he had a slight cold as he rubbed his suddenly wet palm over his pants. “Yeah. I thought it would.” For a moment he wished to just stay in this unremarkable house forever.
“I’m sorry.”
Jensen turned to Jared again frowning. “You shouldn’t be, I-“
“No… Katie told me they think we were found out through my publisher. Even though they didn’t know my real name, you know I met with the editor a few times, and they think that someone there knew me through the press from the trial and the first book.”
Jared looked smaller than before, and he looked at the other man with those big puppy eyes that begged for forgiveness. All Jensen wanted to do was kiss that look away. Instead, he attempted a sad smile, simply shaking his head.
“Don’t be sorry, Jared. It’s not your fault, even if that is what happened. You couldn’t have known. Just… don’t meet people personally for the next book?”
“Yeah. I promise.” For a moment Jensen felt the sting of the knowledge that he’d never know it when Jared would write a new book.
Katie came through for them within forty eight hours. Jensen wanted to slug her for being so bloody efficient, but he knew the only person deserving his anger was himself. The car to pick him up was waiting outside. Jared’s was waiting around the block to drive up half a hour after Jensen would be gone.
He could feel his breathing become fast and shallow, and a few dark spots danced around the edges of his vision. When he turned to face Jared - to say their goodbyes - he could see him chewing his bottom lip, eyes gleaming wet. It didn’t matter that they were terrible at this whole domesticity thing together. They had shared the probably worst time of their lives and had survived. Maybe they had even created some of the best moments together, at least for Jensen they had.
Green eyes caught hazel and he stepped into Jared’s personal space. “Promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”
Jared nodded sniffing as his jaw muscles worked. “You too, okay?”
“Ill try.” He couldn’t help the little one sided smirk that pulled on his lips.
There wasn’t really anything to say that would make their goodbyes more heartfelt or meaningful, and so Jensen decided to give into the impulse to cup Jared’s face and kiss him one last time. Jared seemed to melt into the touch, putting one arm around Jensen and deepening their kiss for the minute that it lasted. When they broke apart they both had wet spots on their cheeks, and were breathing a little harder.
“Bye Jay.” It was hardly more than a release of air but all he could say. He turned away then, heading towards the door, only to have his wrist caught in Jared’s large hand. His heart sped up for a moment, and he looked at Jared with the slight hope that the man would backpedal on their decision.
“Just… Do one thing for me, Jen, okay? In a month they’ll release my book. If you pass a bookstore, go inside and look at the dedication.”
Jensen didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. Jared gave him the ghost of a smile huffing out a relieved sounding sigh. “Bye Jen.”
As Jensen walked out of the house and got into the car that was his shuttle to yet another life, he couldn’t look back. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go if Jared would be standing by that door.
Jared smiled at the teenage girl that had tried to flirt for him for the last five minutes as she finally gave up and left with her books and a wink that was way too suggestive for her age. He chuckled under his breath as he turned back to his computer. The idea of sitting at home alone every day had been scary to say the least, so Jared had Katie set him up with a new job to go with his new life. Maybe the library wasn’t the fanciest job for a guy with two novels under his belt, and a degree in journalism, but it was quiet and occupied his time. He got to interact with people and still had as many books as he wanted at his disposal. It wasn’t a bad job.
“Wade, how long have you been with us?” The colleague on his shift, Janet, was a part timer studying something philisophical at the local college. She had been extremely welcoming to the new guy… she was also kind of nosey.
“About a month”, he answered with a shrug, while his brain supplied ‘Thirty-seven days’. Sometimes he wondered if one day he would startle, when he noticed that he didn’t know how long it had been, since he had last seen Jensen, said goodbye to him. Maybe one day he would not come home to an empty apartment and wonder if Jensen would also find his bed so terribly cold when he slipped inside.
It had hardly been a long time since they parted, and Jared knew that he would probably get used to it, might even find someone else with time. But somehow, the thought of sharing his life with someone who didn’t know him, didn’t even know his real name, was less than desirable.
“So, how long will it take you to join the rest of the staff on our Friday night out?” She grinned at him wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
“I haven’t even met the whole staff yet.”
“One more reason to come then!” She clapped him on the shoulder, skipping away as a customer waved at her from the SciFi section.
“I’ll think about it.”
Jensen should have known that it was a stupid idea from the moment he set foot into the book store the day Jared’s book was released. That didn’t mean that he would have ever considered backpedaling on his promise. He had called the store the week before to preorder the thing, because he wasn’t sure they would have it stocked, so he was sure he’d get his hands on the thing that very day.
When the clerk handed him the small bag with the book inside, it took all of his will power not to take it out right there and open the bloody thing. However he had more self restraint than that, and, no matter what he would read there, his heart was already racing, and he knew that he would have some kind of emotional response to just holding the last thing to ever connect him with Jared in his hands. So he clutched the bag in sweaty hands and left the bookstore, walking home on stiff knees but with long, determined strides. When he was home, he got a beer and sat down on the small couch in the living room.
Jared’s pen name for this book was Jonathan Webber. The cover was plain, and his fingers traced the letters of the name he had no emotional connection to for a second, before he opened the book with a shaky breath. The dedication was short, and there was no name there, but he still knew it was for him alone.
I love you.
J
He stared at it for a long time as tears ran down his cheek unstopped. They had never said it, but Jensen knew that he loved Jared. Now he was sure it was mutual, and he felt useless and defeated by the fact that he would never be able to say it back. He grabbed his beer and emptied it in one long pull.
Jared walked home in the low hanging afternoon sun, humming some song that had got stuck in his head after playing on the radio this morning. He had both hands deep in the pockets of his coat as he watched the town buzz around him. The walk was his time to think, and he resolved not to take the car as long as the weather was nice enough. He was contemplating the plot of a new story, the characters and their backgrounds but had to restart every time he would find the lead to be based on Jensen in pretty much every way.
It wasn’t a bad thing to be inspired by things, but if he wanted to get over their time together, this wasn’t the way. Writing a book was a long process that took heart and investment, and he wasn’t sure if he could spend the better part of a year thinking about the man he had loved and lost. He was doing way to much of that as it was.
His fingers skimmed over the tazer in his jacket pocket. He had kept his promise to Jensen. He was careful. There was also a small canister of pepper spray on his keychain once more. He had gone through several stores, until he found the same brand Jensen had given him. It was probably one more thing he shouldn’t have done, but it made him feel safer, and their break-up was still fresh enough that he could admit to not being over it yet.
He climbed the stairs of his apartment complex one by one, until he reached the third floor. The place was clean and well kept, and his apartment was bigger than he really needed. He was thinking about getting a dog, someone to share his time with. Maybe he would let it sleep in his bed, even though his mother would have had a fit at the very idea.
The door clicked open easily as he turned his key. He slipped off his shoes right by the door, hanging the keys on the small hook on the wall. Jared had always found rituals calming, and so he locked the door behind him and grabbed the tazer from his jacket hanging the piece of clothing in the closet before making his way to the cupboard by the TV just across the living room, where he always kept the weapon.
He opened the drawer as he saw motion out of the corner of his eye. He flew around, breath catching in surprise and flinched as the mirror behind him shattered, when a well known pop-swoosh sounded. There was a man walking out of the kitchenette area of the apartment. He wore a ski mask and held a gun in his hand, taking aim once more.
Jared reacted instinctively, swiping his hand along the top of the cupboard, knocking a vase towards the attacker, watching as it spilled a curtain of water and flowers into the line of fire. The man bounced backwards, and Jared didn’t hesitate. If the guy was a decent shot there, was no way he would make it to the door. Instead Jared charged. The gun swung towards him once more, but he smacked the guy's hand away with a swipe of his arm, pressing the tazer to the hitman’s chest and pushing the button the moment after his hand lost contact to the guy’s body.
The man jerked and grunted as the electricity charged through his body, a shot went off with one more pop and buried itself in the living room wall. When the man dropped to the ground, Jared gritted his teeth in anger and resentment and tazered the man once more just to be sure. He grabbed the gun from the hitman’s hand and stood over the unconscious person with panting breaths for a long minute. His mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour, and he skimmed his fingers through his hair, only pulling them back when the metal of the gun scraped over his scalp. That was really not a good move.
His first thought was the fact that someone had tried to kill him again. This wasn’t a break in gone wrong. A burgler wouldn’t be carrying a silenced gun. Somehow they had found out where he was and had sent this man to put an end to him once and for all, and if the guy had waited to make his move for three more seconds, he would have succeeded.
Then his mind jumped to the how. Nobody knew where he was - who he was - but for the Marshals, and those people who knew, also knew where Jensen was. His eyes grew wide, and he only spared the guy on the floor one look before running to the door and grabbing his keys and jacket. He hardly remembered hiding the gun and tazer before running out of the building.
By the time he reached his car, he had called the police and reported that someone had broken into his apartment. He was already dialing the second number when he slipped behind the wheel.
Katie sighed as she looked at the pile of paperwork in front of her. The mess that was the Padalecki/ Ackles might have been resolved at least for now, but the mountain of files to order and reports to write was anything but. She started sifting through the papers one by one, hoping that her bosses would be satisfied with her explanation to the big questions: Why? How? And Who?
She wasn’t optimistic. She herself wasn’t happy with the answers she'd found so far, since they were all just theories.
When her phone rang, she wanted to take the damn thing and hurl it against the next wall, but she didn’t. It flipped open with a click and a sigh, and Katie brought it to her ear with a curt “yes?”
“Katie? Katie, it’s Jared.”
She stopped for a second, blinking and wondering when this case had turned into her nemesis. “Jared? what the hell are you doing? Is that a secure channel?”
“I don’t know. Probably not, but I don’t really care.” He sounded hurried, agitated, and Katie’s spine went straight as a flag pole within a single breath.
“What happened?”
“A gunman in my apartment…”
“WHAT?” She jumped to her feet, grabbing her gun and badge.
“I tazered him… twice. The police are on their way, but that’s not the problem.” Jared’s voice was tight, his words curt. He didn’t sound like Jared, really, except for the voice itself.
“What do you mean ‘That’s not the problem’? Someone just tried to kill you… again!”
“Yes, but they didn’t succeed. But how did they know how to find me?”
“I-“ she broke off rubbing her eyes wearily. This was bad, a calamity really. “I have no fucking idea. Nobody outside of the Federal Marshalls’ Office knows your location.”
“Exactly and when someone found out where I was, then they will also know where Jensen is.” Jared’s voice was too loud, too tense.
“Fuck… FUCK!”
“Katie, I need you to tell me where he is.”
“I don’t know. I’m FBI, Jared…”
“But you can find out.”
“I can’t do that, Jared. I’ll inform the Marshalls and they’ll send a team…”
“NO! You don’t get it, Katie. Someone is selling us out.”
He was right, and she knew it, so she grabbed her car keys and ran out the back door to the parking lot. “Fine.” She bit her lip wondering if she was making a terrible mistake. “Jensen didn’t trust the Marshalls so much anymore, so he contacted me.”
“You know where he is?”
“Yes… I’ll try to call him and warn him. I’ll meet you there.”
Jensen was about three hour’s drive from her and not much less from where Jared was. She told him the address before hanging up, dialing Jensen’s number and praying he’d pick up.
...next part...
A/N.: posting early because I'm leaving on an over-night trip in half an hour... This thekind of fix you guys had in mind? ;)