There are skirts I only own because my ex boyfriend said I don't wear them enough.
As many people who know me IRL probably already know, I suffer from a mild case of that affliction which is far more common in men: the 'I'm more macho than you' syndrome. You know the one: it requires its sufferers to constantly win arguments to prove their prowess in maths and science. It requires constant in advised displays of physical strength and imbues in the sufferer an innate inability to ask directions or to undertake more than the absolute minimum of personal grooming, less they be perceived as 'a homo', or, in my case 'a girl'.
At this point it is often pointed out that I am, in fact, both of these things. My response is usually to argue that they cancel each other out, or to sulk. In a manly way.
I blame this syndrome for the facts that I only own three bras (and only really wear one) (laziness and an abhorrence of the lingerie sections of M&S are totally symptoms); that I haven't bought make-up in so long that it's probably all rotten and I may go blind from old eyeliner*; that my entire shoe collection fits on the bottom of my small single wardrobe, and given, I have three working handbags (and haven't brought myself to bin my broken corset bag), but the most recent one was given to me with the comment "we noticed you don't seem to have enough handbags."**
Why am I sharing this? Well, in the hope that you can understand how embarrassed I was that in packing (one suitcase for ten days) this morning, I did a stock-take (heh) of my stockings, found seven serviceable pairs (and one unopened), and still feel I 'need' a new pair as the others are merely 'serviceable'.
At least I'm not as bad as the man who feels the need to keep his 'STR8' eau de cologne in prominent view alone on the bathroom sink?
*OK, there's machismo and there's health and safety. I will buy new make-up.
**'We' in this case refers to the female member of the heterosexual couple in question, I assume. Though her 'handbag' is a functional and useful bumbag, so I have no idea what she was implying here.
(It is a very nice new handbag, at least)
At this point it is often pointed out that I am, in fact, both of these things. My response is usually to argue that they cancel each other out, or to sulk. In a manly way.
I blame this syndrome for the facts that I only own three bras (and only really wear one) (laziness and an abhorrence of the lingerie sections of M&S are totally symptoms); that I haven't bought make-up in so long that it's probably all rotten and I may go blind from old eyeliner*; that my entire shoe collection fits on the bottom of my small single wardrobe, and given, I have three working handbags (and haven't brought myself to bin my broken corset bag), but the most recent one was given to me with the comment "we noticed you don't seem to have enough handbags."**
Why am I sharing this? Well, in the hope that you can understand how embarrassed I was that in packing (one suitcase for ten days) this morning, I did a stock-take (heh) of my stockings, found seven serviceable pairs (and one unopened), and still feel I 'need' a new pair as the others are merely 'serviceable'.
At least I'm not as bad as the man who feels the need to keep his 'STR8' eau de cologne in prominent view alone on the bathroom sink?
*OK, there's machismo and there's health and safety. I will buy new make-up.
**'We' in this case refers to the female member of the heterosexual couple in question, I assume. Though her 'handbag' is a functional and useful bumbag, so I have no idea what she was implying here.
(It is a very nice new handbag, at least)