Comments | inlovewithnight: Fic: "Full of Stars" (6/9)

inlovewithnight

Fic: "Full of Stars" (6/9)

May 05, 2005 11:21

Merrily we roll along. I really should be packing, but instead I'm accompanying my roommate to the mall. I'm terrible.

But OMG IT'S SERENITY DAY.

This is the roughest chapter. It gave me hell on every draft, and it still may not be quite right. (ladyemma, I agreed with your comments 100%, I just don't know how to fix it...::tears hair out:: Perhaps ( Read more... )

full of stars, fic_firefly, fic_2005

Comments 6

magista May 5 2005, 11:25:45 UTC

Yay physics! Yay string theory! Multiple-yay for multi-dimensinoal space. No wonder it was Fred who was drawn forward. Okay, now I'm thinking all the ways to incorporate more hellmouth physics in what I write...

No! No propagating! Jayne propagating = very, very bad! LOL

tori_deathangel May 5 2005, 11:35:12 UTC

what would truly be so bad if jayne did propagate, huh huh huh?

noelia_g May 5 2005, 12:27:34 UTC

Oh. my. goddess.

I've just read the story for the first time and can't find words to tell you how much it rocks.

You voice the characters amazingly, I can *hear* them speaking. And the way of connecting the past to the future? Wow doesn't even begin to describe it. And of course Fred-River. I can totally see it.
And Book as the Guide? That surely explains a lot *nodnod*

Can't wait for more.

jebbypal May 5 2005, 15:45:50 UTC

Hmm...well sadly I don't disagree w/ your statement about this being awkward. The first couple of scenes seemed rushed in comparison to the other chapters, and the end just seemed, off. Probably because we hadn't seen fred interact w/ wash alone before. I don't know...the only other thing that i can think of is that this conversation might work better if it is girl-girl. I mean, a) we haven't seen why wash would be so eager to have her stay other than his niceness, b) kaylee would love to have another sane girl around her age. But I think either kaylee or zoe could have this convo w/ her --- zoe could pilot so that would work if you wanted to minimize the danger.

Just some thoughts in case you were still of a mind to do any revisions.

Still enjoying it a lot though:)

glossing May 5 2005, 17:39:10 UTC

More proof that I am a complete and utter dork: I wanted Fred to use string theory to *darn* the hellmouth. Yes.

Lovely chat with Wash, especially the actually I actively discourage it.... *g*