[SPN] feel the freedom like no tomorrow (6/7)

[tasogareika]

← four: the living and the dead are watching you ←

Five: Something of that fire burns still.

Consciousness comes to him gradually, slowly rousing him up through waves of sensation and feeling. Beneath him Jimmy feels the warmth and comfort of his bed, the mattress easily accepting his weight in a way that could only happen after years and years of usage. He shifts a little, humming in contentment at the simple pleasure he feels from having the sheets slide against the skin of his thighs. It’s almost a pity that he has to get up, when a part of him wants nothing more than to stay in his bed for the day-it almost feels like he hasn’t been here for what seems like a very long time.

-because he hasn’t been here for a very long time.

Jimmy instantly snaps his eyes open when his mind recalls back the memories, everything flooding into his mind’s eye in that split second when realization settles in him. The man bolts right up on his bed, chest heaving and his heart pounding erratically against his ribcage as Jimmy darts his head around him in quick succession while his eyes take in and register the sight of his bedroom. His bedroom.

The realization burns hot in his mind as Jimmy calms himself down enough to make a proper sweep across the room this time, eyes taking in and registering every single detail that he can recall and remember. This is his room, there’s no doubt about it. It looks the same as he’s always remembered it to be, right down to the cracks of the plaster in the corner of the ceiling that he never really got to fixing. He had been planning to fix it the next day-that is, until the argument with Amelia happened, and then the subsequent possession and everything else.

Jimmy drops his gaze back down to his hands that are pressed on his lap, and it only takes a second more after that to see something on his hands that should not be there. The man feels his breath catching at the back of his throat as he raises his left hand and can only stare in shock at the band of gold that’s around his ring finger.

His wedding ring.

Seeing it again is nothing but a giant shock to Jimmy, and the man can do nothing else but stare, feeling the world grinding to a halt around him. It should not be here, not at all-he had taken it out and left it at home before he left the house and spoke to Castiel, to grant the angel that ‘yes’ that changed his entire life. He had never so much as spoken or questioned about it all this time, but yet now, right there where it should he is his ring again. The commitment he had made with Amelia, and a commitment which he had to put away for what he had once believed to be for the greater good. How things had changed since then.

A shift at his side brings Jimmy out from his thoughts, and he turns his head around to finally register the other occupant in the bed with him, eyes widening once more as he quickly recognizes the figure lying beside him. “…Ames?”

Amelia Novak raises her head from the pillow, blinking out the sleep from her eyes and proceeds to smile at Jimmy as if there’s nothing wrong at all (when indeed, everything about this is). “What’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”

Jimmy feels words forming at the back of his throat, but when he opens his mouth to try and speak none of them comes out, every syllable knotting around his tongue and weighing it down. He feels his mouth turning dry, his breaths trapped somewhere in his lungs; he knows he should be wary and suspicious but seeing his wife again after all this time, to see her right beside him again when he had thought it would never happen-all of this is just-

“Jim?” Amelia’s voice takes a much more concerned tone now, and the bed creaks slightly as she pushes herself to sit up in bed as well, reaching out with one hand to rest on Jimmy’s own. Jimmy can barely manage to keep himself calm and composed as he turns his gaze properly on his wife, already feeling the tears starting to form at the comers of his eyes. Amelia notices it immediately and becomes much more concerned, and she raises her other hand to wipe away the tears with her thumb. “What’s wrong, dear?”

The words catch at the back of his throat again, all tangled and knotted up like a stone in his gullet. It’s been so long-far too long-and Jimmy can do nothing more but close his eyes and will himself not to break down as he reaches with his left hand and curls his fingers around Amelia’s one, letting their wedding rings click together. He presses her other palm to the side of his face, cherishing the feel and the warmth that’s now pressing on his cheek, letting the tears break free and roll down his face.

He hears Amelia call out his name, this time much more softly, and Jimmy knows he should answer, but for now he’s just too overwhelmed to say anything at all. He’s free and he’s home and he’s alive, and that’s all that he can ask for. Not glory or honour or being chosen for holy missions from Heaven and God. This is enough. Just like this, it’s more than enough for him.

He doesn’t need anything else.



Seeing Claire is, at least, something that Jimmy’s more prepared for after what had happened with Amelia up in the bedroom. Giving his wife another assuring smile (despite not having said anything, Jimmy did know that his sudden breakdown did worry her, and last thing he wants now is to make her concerned), Jimmy settles himself at his seat at the dining table-a place he hadn’t been again ever since that time when Castiel had been dragged back to Heaven.

Jimmy isn’t sure if he wants to see the irony of it.

Claire looks up from the bowl of cereal that she’s currently munching on, giving Jimmy a smile that sends a throb of heartache in his chest. God, how long had it been since he could see that smile? “Morning, Daddy.”

“Morning, bub,” he returns, just barely managing to not choke from the emotions that suddenly weigh in his words. So long, god, it had been so fucking long. He had missed all of this so much. It’s so hard to not just hold his daughter tight against him and assure himself that he’s back home, somehow. He knows that the Leviathan’s the cause of this and maybe this is just some dream world that the beast’s thrown himself into-but it’s been so long, and in the end he’s only human. There’s never been anything special or exceptional about him in the way the Winchesters are with their self-sacrificing ways. All he wants is the safety of his family and nothing else.

Claire smiles back brightly in response, returning to her cereal just as Amelia comes around to the table with two plates of sandwiches, one of them set before him. Jimmy blinks and looks up to his wife’s understanding expression, a small smile on her lips as she sets her own plate down and moves to settle on her seat at the table. Jimmy can’t remember when the last time that she had looked at him like that was; things had gotten strained between them from that day when Amelia caught him with his arm in the boiling pot at the kitchen. To see her smiling at him like that again… Jimmy feels his heart lurching from the mix of emotions that surges from his gut, regret and pain rolling around in his mind. This peace and tranquillity that he had so longed for-is what he could still have if Castiel had never come?

Jimmy looks back down at his sandwich and picks it up, and he feels his hands trembling, shaking with the effort to not break down again-at least, not in front of his wife and his kid. He had put them through so much already… they didn’t need any more now, not here. Here, Castiel had never come for him. Here, he could spend his time quietly with Amelia and Claire and let himself relax back in the comfort of his family once again.

“Jimmy?” comes Amelia’s voice from beside him, and the man pulls himself out from his thoughts to look over at his wife’s concerned look once again.

She doesn’t need to worry anymore, Jimmy thinks to himself as he blinks back his tears and shakes his head, putting on the best smile he can muster up. “It’s nothing, Ames. I’m just glad to be here.”

Amelia flashes him another concerned look at that answer and Jimmy can feel another uneasy question starting to come out, but Claire decides to speak up at that moment and unconsciously manages to save him from anymore soon-to-be awkward moments. “Dad? Can you drive me to school later?”

Jimmy turns his gaze to his daughter and nods, forcing his smile wider as he replies. “Sure thing, sweetie. I’ll be happy to.”



He sees Roger when he leaves with Claire to send her over to school, and as much as Jimmy tries to prepare himself for that, taking in the sight of his neighbour whole and alive again is about the last thing that Jimmy can take. It’s a miracle that he doesn’t lose it again when he sees the other waving at him from over the hedge, and Jimmy just barely manages to keep himself together as he waves back before getting in the car himself. Claire is, at least, too distracted with her iPhone at that moment to notice Jimmy’s shaking hands when he turns the key in the ignition.

Amelia and Claire unharmed, and Roger alive and well… that’s more than what Jimmy can bring himself to ask for, really. They had all been hurt because of him, and so to see them happy and well and unaffected by his stupid decisions-yeah, Jimmy can’t ask for anything else more than that.

The drive to Claire’s school is filled with conversation about everything and anything, and for the first time in a long while Jimmy contributes gaily into it. He remembers how he never really used to pay much attention to this, but now he can’t help but take in every word and file every expression that crosses his daughter’s face. How could he have used to think that this was something so easily overlooked, when all he wants to do now is to keep every one of her smiles imprinted into his mind? So many things he had once taken for granted, once upon a time. But now he knows better, and he understands better. All he needs is Claire and Amelia and their safety and their smiles, and that will be enough.

This is enough.

“Dad?” Claire’s voice perks up from beside him once he reaches the school and pulls the car to a stop. Jimmy directs his gaze over to look at his daughter who’s currently looking back at him with hopeful eyes. “Are you going to get the double-layered chocolate cake? Pleaaaase say you will.”

Cake? The man wonders confusedly to himself before his eyes flicker to the dashboard and he notes the date blinking back at him in their electronic numbers. It only takes a few moments after for him to connect the dots-today is Claire’s birthday. His daughter’s birthday, and he had no idea at all until now. He’s going to celebrate his daughter’s birthday.

A tug on his sleeve brings him out from his thoughts, and Jimmy darts his eyes back to look at the pleading look on Claire’s face. He couldn’t resist that look, especially not now. Jimmy smiles, and hopes that his daughter won’t notice the tears starting to swell in his eyes yet again. “Alright, I will. But not a big one, okay?”

The bright smile on Claire’s face is more than enough to break Jimmy’s heart. “You’re the best, dad!” she chirps back happily, and the following hug she gives to him only breaks his heart a little more.

Jimmy bites the inside of his cheek tightly so that he can hold back his tears again as he returns the gesture, resting his head over his daughter’s own as he squeezes her back and murmurs affectionately in her hair. “Happy birthday, Claire.”

He feels Claire’s smile against his chest before answering him. “Thanks, dad.”

Jimmy holds her a little tighter in response and closes his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

This is all he needs.



Once Claire is dropped off and Jimmy has the time to himself, he calls up the office and ensures that he has taken his obligatory day of leave (it’s something he’s always done ever since Claire was born). Once he’s made the necessary arrangements work-wise Jimmy spends the rest of the morning driving around town and getting whatever he needs for the celebration later. He remembers the plans he had for Claire; a barbeque out in the yard, followed by cake and quality time in the house afterwards. It’s a simple affair to anybody involved, but right now to Jimmy it means just about the whole world to him.

He greets everybody who he talks to, trying to remember each and every face that he sees and committing them to memory. Never again will he take all these faces and names for granted-never again will he take anything in his life for granted. They’re all important to him, every single one of them, and there’s no way that he’s ever going to disregard them now. He can’t do it, not after all that’s he’s gone through.

Everything on his list is cleared by lunchtime and Jimmy returns back home soon after, opening the door to Amelia’s surprised face when she sees the numerous bags that Jimmy has lugged with him from the garage.

“Jimmy,” she starts, pausing to give the bags another glance before looking back at him again. “Are you sure all this is necessary?”

Jimmy only leans forward to peck Amelia on the cheek. “I just want to make this the best birthday party Claire’s ever had.”

Amelia rolls her eyes slightly at the answer, but Jimmy can see the smile that she fails to hide in her eyes. “You say that every year, dear.”

“And there’s something wrong about that?” he returns playfully, smiling as he brings the bags into the house two by two. Amelia only laughs quietly in response to him and helps with the bags, taking them all to the kitchen once Jimmy has transferred all of them inside.

Jimmy isn’t a fool though-he knows that this tentative silence doesn’t last long, and it’s soon broken by Amelia once all the bags are in the kitchen. He tries not to see the worried look that crosses his wife’s face as she turns to look at him, tries not to dart his eyes down in his ever tell-tale expression of guilt and regret. Jimmy know that he’s always one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but even then he doesn’t want to burden Amelia with the knowledge of what he knows, what he’s experienced. She doesn’t need to know about it.

“Ames, please,” he speaks before she can say anything, sending her the best pleading look he can manage out. “I don’t want to talk about this on our daughter’s birthday.”

Amelia doesn’t look assured in anyway by those words and she bites on her bottom lip in contemplation, giving him a cursory look that speaks both worry and concern. “Then will you tell me afterwards?” she ventures, frowning just a little.

Jimmy sighs quietly. “It’s just… I have a bit of thinking to do first, okay? But it’s nothing you have to worry about, Ames, trust me.”

“Anything that concerns you is my concern too,” she returns quietly, reaching out to lay an assuring hand on his shoulder. Jimmy closes his eyes and accepts the comforting touch as Amelia slides close and places a kiss on his cheek. Her hand moves down to wrap around his, fingers curling up and squeezing slightly as she speaks again. “I can wait until you’re ready, Jimmy, but remember that you’re not alone, alright? I’ll always be here for you.”

He nods in response, but all his mind can think of is but I abandoned you and Claire.

No more of that, though. He’s back, and he will stay here. His family is where his home is, and home is where he will be.



Claire returns home much earlier than what Jimmy expects; then again, it isn’t as if he can actually recall every single detail in his family’s life now. Besides, seeing his daughter sooner rather than later is something that he can’t exactly complain-especially when she tumbles into him headfirst the moment she sees him and hugs the life out of him.

“You took out the grill, dad?” she asks after about a minute of hugging, looking up at him with those hopeful eyes of hers again.

Jimmy laughs softly and carefully pries his daughter away from his chest. “Why are you so surprised?” he asks back quietly, smiling.

Claire’s face turns into an amusing shade of red as she attempts to turn her (embarrassed) gaze elsewhere. “You never said anything about this, dad…”

He laughs again. “It wouldn’t be a surprise then if I told you, would it?” Jimmy squeezes her tightly in his arms one more time before he lets go, stepping back and bending down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Now go wash up and change, Roger should be coming over soon with his folks. You okay with just him and us?”

The girl rolls her eyes in response. “Of course, dad.”

“Alright then,” he returns with a small grin, ruffling his daughter’s hair affectionately before shooing her off to the bathroom. Once Claire is busy upstairs he returns back to the kitchen where Amelia is busy preparing the hotdogs and chicken wings. Jimmy doesn’t hesitate to take over naturally, prying the sticks and butter from his wife’s hands as he presses a kiss to her cheek. “You should wash up as well, Ames.”

“I can do that later,” Amelia returns with a huff as she stubbornly threads the chicken wing in her hand through the skewer, giving it a cursory look before putting in the container full of various other types of skewered food. “Is Roger coming over soon?”

“In about ten, I think,” Jimmy answers easily, smiling as he takes a skewer and several hot dogs for him to work on. “Sabrina and Katherine are coming over as well.”

Amelia hums a soft acknowledgement. “It’s too bad Peter’s away in college,” she remarks wistfully.

“Perhaps,” Jimmy replies, grinning quietly. “The girls will have more time for each other, at least.”

“Like they don’t have enough already,” Amelia retorts back with a shake of her head, but the smile is there on her face. “You’d think being in the same school and class with each other will make them tired of one another.”

Jimmy chuckles. “You know how they are, Ames.”

“Sadly.” Amelia finishes up the last of the skewers, taking a moment to rinse her hands at the sink before giving Jimmy a peck on the cheek. “You can start marinating the meats while I wash up. Open the door for Roger once he gets here, alright?”

“You don’t even need to ask,” Jimmy returns, smiling as he returns the peck with one of his own and quickly shoos her upstairs as well. Amelia throws him another smile over her shoulder before she leaves the kitchen, and yet again Jimmy feels his own emotions surging from the heartache that he feels.

He’ll make it up; he’ll make it all up.



Roger’s arrival is greeted with hugs between the men and excited shouts from the girls as Sabrina and Claire welcome each other and proceed to go upstairs. Jimmy shouts a reminder to them as they flit up, smiling at the shouted answers he gets in return before he goes around to help Roger in starting up the grill properly, both men chatting as they do so.

“You seem really happy today, Jim,” Roger states casually halfway into their conversation, and the suddenness of it does make Jimmy pause for a moment. Roger shrugs his shoulders once before he continues. “I mean, I’ve just never seen you like this before. Did something good happen?”

Jimmy shakes his head. “Not really. I’m just… glad, I guess.” Glad to be home, glad to be with his family again. Glad to be away from all the pain and all the heartache and all the loneliness of being a prisoner of one inside his own body. He’s him again, and that’s what matters.

Roger gives him a brief, disbelieving look, but eventually just shakes his head as well and smiles. “Well, I guess every parent feels happy when their kid’s a year older.” He pauses for a moment after that before snorting softly. “Hard to believe she’s already fifteen. Almost seems like yesterday when our girls were born, huh?”

“Time just flies like that, sometimes,” Jimmy returns with a wry smile as he starts up the fire. “Next thing you know, they’ll be heading off for college.” And wouldn’t that be quite a day then, full of both joy and longing when he would send his daughter off for another important journey in her life. It’s something he certainly would never get to see if he’s stuck with Castiel.

Roger lets out a laugh and reaches over to pat Jimmy on the shoulder. “It’ll still be a bit more, man. No need to think so far ahead.”

Now is good enough, the man thinks to himself there and then as he smiles back and nods in agreement. Yes, right now is good enough for him.



All things considered, the birthday party goes quite well-the barbequed hotdogs and chicken were eaten up with much gusto and the ordered pizza eaten in moments. Both Sabrina and Claire fall in love with the cake that Jimmy got from the bakery (chocolate and double-layered, just like what Claire had asked for this morning) and the leftovers are split between the two families. The night is spent drinking and talking and celebrating, and the two households eventually part ways around nine at night after helping out with the eventual clean-up. In all ways and means the party is but a simple affair, but it’s one of the happiest nights that Jimmy finds himself experiencing. It’s perfect and it’s wonderful and it’s everything he could have dared to ask for.

This is why when Jimmy settles himself on the couch to watch the night time news, the last thing he expects to see on screen are the ruins of what had once been Pennsboro, West Virginia.

Jimmy instantly bolts right back up from his seat, eyes going wide as he sees the giant text flashing across the screen. NATION MOURNS FOR 1,214 LIVES LOST IN ’08 HALLOWEEN TRADGEY.

1,214 lives.

He knows that number.

(“There are a thousand people here.”

“One thousand, two hundred and fourteen.”)

No way, Jimmy thinks to himself in desperation as he leans closer towards the television screen, hand trembling as he flicks up the volume to hear the report better. No fucking way.

“-and although a year has passed since then, the freak incident that claimed the entire town of Pennsboro, West Virginia continues to haunt the minds of the people in this country. Until even today experts have not been able to make out just what exactly happened on Halloween 2008 that caused the deaths of the entire town, much like the following freak incidents that has claimed even more lives in places like Greybull, Wyoming; River Pass, Colorado; Detroit, Michigan and most recently the massacre at Carthage, Missouri. Incidents such as those continue to happen across the country, with no rhyme or reason behind them. Also across the world reports of tsunamis and earthquakes continue to escalate, and some experts say that-”

Jimmy shuts off the television before he can hear any more of that, tossing the remote away with more force than strictly necessary. The remote bounces off the cushions and lands in a clatter on the ground, and Jimmy is at least thankful of the fact that Amelia and Claire are both upstairs and won’t see this at all. Then again, they most likely already know-they just can’t understand it in the same way that he does; it’s a whole world of difference from witnessing and being directly involved, and Jimmy’s pretty sure that nobody here goes in the latter category. They don’t understand the significance of these lives in the way that Jimmy can.

A thousand, two hundred and fourteen lives-except it isn’t just that number any more. Pennsboro, Greybull, River Pass, Detroit, Carthage; all of those towns and cities already gone and dead, and Jimmy knows that this is only just the beginning. He doesn’t even need to guess what’s happening in the world now, the truth already hitting him hard and settling in his mind all too easily. The Apocalypse. The Apocalypse is happening, and the world is ending when it’s supposed to be saved. Except-

Here, Castiel never possessed him. Here, he had never said ‘yes’ to the angel. Here, Castiel is all but stuck in Heaven, unable to aid the Winchesters when they needed him most. In this reality, only God knows what’s happened to the brothers without Castiel at their side.

The realization weighs heavily in Jimmy’s mind as the man closes his eyes and focuses himself on simply breathing, to calm down the thundering heartbeat of in his chest as Jimmy attempts to connect the dots together in his head. In this life, he had never given Castiel the ‘yes’ that the angel needed, and with Claire still around, he figures that somehow he made her off-limits to the angel as well-and without Castiel being able to be with Dean and Sam, its plausible that some other angel had been placed in charge instead.

Uriel, perhaps.

Jimmy grimaces at the thought. Uriel in charge of Dean-now that’s something that wouldn’t work out well. He knows for a fact that barely any other angel is sympathetic in the way that Castiel is, and that none of them could ever connect to Dean in the way that Castiel has done. So the Winchesters had no angel to their cause here, which means…

This? He wonders, glancing to the blank screen in front of him. All of these lives, these deaths, the countless number of people killed and murdered and butchered because of some stupid fight between Heaven and Hell-would they have been prevented if Castiel had been around on Earth and not trapped in Heaven? It almost seems hilarious, the thought of a single angel being the one thing that could turn things around and save the world-but then again, Castiel had never truly been an ordinary angel, not to Jimmy’s eyes. Castiel had turned against Heaven and fought for the Winchesters in the end, and that had resulted in the prevention of the Apocalypse-but the coming of something else altogether.

The man closes his eyes again and thinks, struggling to balance the enormity of his choices in his head. The Apocalypse or the Leviathans? The selfish, human part of him wants nothing more than to stay here, to enjoy every moment that he can have with Claire and Amelia and everybody else he knows in this quiet, peaceful life he has here, no matter how long or short it might be.

But-after that, what happens after? It’s only a matter of time before the world starts growing crazy and ends, and Jimmy doesn’t want his family to live that kind of future. He wants nothing more than to be with them, but at the same time if his being here would mean the end of the world, and for everything that he holds close to his heart… Jimmy lets out a shuddering breath and tightens his hold around the armrest of the couch he’s sitting on, feeling the material stretch under the force of his fingers.

Why does it have to be him? Why is he the one who has to make this decision? Gone were the times when Jimmy had once been proud and glad to be chosen by Heaven and God and the angels-now all he feels is a cynical, deep, bitter regret and so much heartache over the year he spent being stuck with Castiel, and the eventual end he had.

(“I want to make sure you understand. You won't die or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture a hundred, a thousand more like it.”)

And he understands it so much now, god. He understands more than ever what Castiel meant by that now. Amelia and Claire will be safe-they’ll always be safe, he thinks-but he’ll never get to see them again, or hear them, or… he’ll never know them again as time passes by and they grow up without him around. He’ll always be in this world, unchanging and unyielding, and even after Amelia and Claire pass on Jimmy knows that he’ll still never be able to see them too. He’ll always be alone, stuck with Castiel and trapped in his own body, a prisoner of one. Once he says that one word of consent, he’ll lose this life he that he now cherishes and desires so badly. Nothing will ever be the same for him again.

Jimmy feels the tears starting to build up again, and he forces himself to suck in a deep breath and blinks them away. Why him? Why did it have to be his bloodline, his family, him? Why does he need to give up everything? His family, his friends, his work, his life, his very identity-he’ll lose it all once he lets Castiel into him, and he’ll never be able to get it back. He’s given up everything for the world, and nobody knows about it. All they will see is the angel of Thursday, and not him. It will never be him.

“Jimmy?” he hears Amelia’s voice calling out from the hallway, and Jimmy turns around to see his wife slowly approaching him, eyes still looking at him in a concerned expression.

The man instantly forces a smile on his face. “Is something wrong, Ames?”

Amelia gives him a small, sad smile. “I would ask the same for you, Jimmy. You’ve been distracted for the whole day.” She moves over to sit at the spot on the couch next to Jimmy, looking at him pointedly as she holds his left hand with both of hers. The smile is still on her face as she continues to speak. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

I wish I could, Jimmy thinks sadly to himself as he shakes his head. “It’s nothing, Ames. Just some stuff at work. You know how the boss can be at times.”

A wry twist comes to the smile on Amelia’s lips. “All too well, I’m afraid,” she replies with a shake of her own head, leaning in after that to press a chaste kiss on him. The smile turns softer after that when she leans back, sympathetic and understanding and everything that Jimmy loves so much about her. “Don’t stay up too late, alright? You do have work to return tomorrow.”



“I know,” Jimmy replies quietly, smiling slightly back in turn as he watches his wife get up and start to make her way out again. How many more nights will he be able to have this if he continues to remain here? How soon will the world fall apart now with Heaven and Hell fighting each other with Earth as their battleground? How can he ensure the safety of his wife and daughter for as long as he’s here, without Castiel to protect them? He wants to stay here, he wants nothing else in the world than to stay here with his family-but as long as he’s here Castiel can’t be around, and it’s because of Castiel that the Winchesters ever had their chance to fight against the Apocalypse and eventually succeed.

A part of Jimmy wants to sob about the decision that he knows he will make despite everything, but the man manages to keep that sorrow away as he calls out softly. “Ames?”

The woman pauses at the threshold between the living room and the hallway, turning around to send a questioning look over towards her husband. “Yes?”

Jimmy forces the best smile he can muster out onto his face. “I love you,” he says, quiet and simple and hoping that she won’t hear the wordless apology that line behind those words.

Amelia pauses for a moment, clearly confused and caught off-guard by the sudden admission, but she soon smiles back in return and the look on her face is something Jimmy tries to keep in his mind forever. “And I love you too, Jimmy.”

All Jimmy can do in return is to stretch his smile a little wider and turn his head back, squeezing his eyes shut to hold back the tears that are now quickly filling up his eyes. He only allows himself to finally break down once Amelia’s footsteps fade away and he hears the door to their bedroom clicking shut, taking in deep, shuddering breaths as the tears fall down from his eyes and roll down his cheeks, dripping from his chin. He cries for the family he’ll have to leave behind again, cries for the life that he’s going to put himself away from. He cries for the friends that he’ll never get to see again and cries for the lonely, eternal fate that will soon come to him. He doesn’t want to do it, but Jimmy knows that he has to.

He only hopes that Amelia will be able to forgive him this time around.



He waits until he’s certain that both Amelia and Claire are wholly fast asleep before he makes his move.

It’s a strange feeling, going through the motions again like before, but unlike before the headache he had is gone, and somehow now Jimmy feels that his head is especially clear. It’s as if everything has just simply clicked together and lifted up the fog in his head after the long moments he’s spent on the couch earlier making this decision. The irony of this isn’t lost on Jimmy, but he supposes that he can think about it another time. After all, he’s soon going to have all the time in the world.

He wears back the same attire as he did in the first time, and then the second time-his work clothes, topped off with that overcoat that Castiel never seems to take off at all. It’s for old time’s sake more than anything else, although somehow Jimmy can’t really picture Castiel wearing anything else besides this. It’s almost as if the coat’s burned into part of his psyche of Castiel, and somehow that shouldn’t be funny at all, but Jimmy finds himself amused for just a moment. He’ll take whatever he can get now, since he’ll soon no longer have anything at all under his name.

Once he has the coat on Jimmy pauses to look down at the band of gold around his finger-his wedding ring. He remembers the first time he had done this, of how long he had taken to remove it and leave it at the shelf for Amelia, his quiet way of showing his decision to leave them. Back then he hadn’t left on the best of terms and it had already been hard enough, but now… now, with his wife and daughter sleeping contentedly upstairs and not knowing about anything at all, it’s even harder for him to go through with his decision. He could just turn back down and go upstairs and nobody would ever know about this-this decision he’s made for himself, his family and possibly even the world.

It’s hilarious, how the world now weighs on his shoulders now, too, and Jimmy wonders for a moment if this makes him one of the Winchesters. He seems to be getting the self-sacrificing part down right, at least. But unlike them, here he is going to say ‘yes’ to an angel, and let that angel claim everything from him for the third time. Unlike the other two times though, this time Jimmy’s made the decision with a clear mind, and the irony of that-again-doesn’t escape his notice.

Third time’s the charm, huh? The man thinks mirthlessly to himself as he curls his fingers around the ring and only gives himself a moment more before moving to tug the ring out from his finger. The band eases itself all-too-easily from his finger, almost as if it had been waiting for this, and Jimmy smiles wryly at that thought as he places it on the nearby shelf. There’s a moment when he’s tempted to write a letter and explain himself, but Amelia would never believe it. Nothing good would come out of it. All Jimmy can do is to hope for the best.

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob to cast a final, lingering look in the house, trying to remember each and every detail and commit it to memory. He knows even without wondering that this will be the last time he sees this house, his family and his home. The moment he steps out of this place, he can never return here. Once he leaves this house, he will never be Jimmy Novak again. He will be nothing more but the nameless human who houses the angel known as Castiel in his body, and nobody besides Castiel will remember his name. Still, as long as this will keep Amelia and Claire safe and alive and have the world continue to spin, Jimmy knows that this is what he has to do-no matter how much a part of him doesn’t want to.

Jimmy tears his gaze away from the dining table and turns back to the door, reaching for the doorknob open to twist it open along with the door and step out of the house. He quietly closes it behind him and proceeds to step out to the cobbled path that lies from the porch to the front gate, hearing his shoes click quietly against the concrete for a few steps before he stops. The midnight air is cold against his skin, and the breeze sends up goosebumps crawling across his arms. Jimmy suppresses a shiver as he directs his gaze up towards the sky, staring for a moment before he closes his eyes, steels himself with a breath and proceeds to start speaking.

“Castiel,” he begins, hoping to get the angel’s attention-if he’s there. Jimmy sure as hell hopes that he’s there, because otherwise all of this will have been for nothing and Jimmy doesn’t want to think about that. “Look, I-I don’t know what the hell I said to you the last time you spoke to me, but whatever it is… I’m taking it back, alright? I-” He pauses, glancing down at his hands as he bites on his lower lip, trying to find the appropriate words to speak. What can he say, really? He doesn’t even know how to start. But he still has to try.

He raises his head back up again, eyes trying to find some spot in the sky where Castiel might be as Jimmy forces himself to continue. “I love my family, Cas, I love them like nothing else. They’re the most important thing in my life, and I don’t want-” The man stops then and closes his eyes, taking in a shuddering breath to calm himself before he opens his eyes back up and can talk again. “-I don’t want them to live in a world that’s going to go guano. I wish I could stay here, Cas. I really wish I can just stay with Ames and Claire-but if me staying here means that the world is going to end because I’m not letting you in, then I’ll just have to take my chances.”

Jimmy shuts his eyes once more, steeling himself as he spreads his arms open and shouts out so that the heavens can hear him and will listen to what he has to say. “So Castiel, you son of a bitch, get down here right now or I’ll go right up there and kick your feathery ass, one way or another!” He opens his eyes and glares now, ignoring the thundering heartbeat of his chest as he raises his voice to a snarl. “I’m saying ‘yes’, alright? Take my body, my life, my fucking identity and go and save this goddamned world with the Winchesters. Just-” his words stop on a choke, a dry heave as Jimmy feels his breath catching at the back of his throat, the words latching on and refusing to come out. He doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to leave everything behind, doesn’t want to leave himself behind.

But he has to. He must.

The man drops down to his knees, all of his energy seemingly having just up and left him, and Jimmy finds himself on all fours on the steps of his house, his arms trembling as he closes his eyes and forces out the last words out from his throat, and they’re spoken so softly and quietly that they’re only heard because of the quietness of the night. “-just… keep them safe. Don’t be an idiot again, Cas. Just stay with the Winchesters.” His voice drops even lower then, and the final bit leaves him in a whisper. “Just stay with Dean.”

A pause.

“Your Righteous Man.”

Because Dean had never really been Heaven’s, not really-Jimmy knows that as well as he knows the backs of his hands. He is the Righteous Man, that much is certain, but right from the start Dean Winchester had never truly been on the side of the angels. He had only been on the side of one angel, and that angel in turn had been on his side when the time came for him to pick a side. Not Heaven, not Hell. Dean.

The Righteous Man and his angel. In another time and place, maybe Jimmy would laugh at that thought, but now he’s too tired to even do that. He just wants this his family safe in a world that wouldn’t end at the hands of Heaven and Hell, wants his family to forgive him for what he’s done and has chosen, wants to not have this destiny saddled onto him.

He wants this to end, but Jimmy knows now that it will never, ever end.

(“I want to make sure you understand.”)

Jimmy understands now. He understands it perfectly.

This is his destiny, and he chooses it out of his own free will.

Almost as if he’s just flicked a switch with that thought, Jimmy suddenly feels the warmth of Castiel’s Grace shining down on him. He raises his head up and stares up into the light that now floods his senses, unconsciously pushing himself up to his feet. He barely feels the slight stumble of his feet when straightens up and feels the familiar brush of Castiel’s Grace against soul, the whispers automatically translating themselves in his mind.

You will consent?

Jimmy sucks in a breath. “I already said I would.”

Even knowing the consequences clearly now, you will consent?

“Yes,” the man hisses back, scowling just a bit. “Do you need a freaking contract to go with this or something, Cas?”

There’s a surge of something in Castiel’s Grace that feels strangely apologetic. You must understand, Jimmy.

“I do, Cas, I do,” he returns, letting his breath rush out of him in one shuddering exhale. “Just don’t let the world explode again, and don’t go psycho afterwards either.”

Castiel doesn’t respond to that, but he can feel the angel descending upon him and entering his body. He feels the heat pressing down against his body and the cold that crawls out from his soul, waiting to be warmed by the intense heat of Castiel’s Grace. Being possessed by an angel had never been as easy of an experience as one would think it might be-it’s like having fire and ice in your veins at the same time, Grace pouring through your bloodstream like lava and liquid nitrogen. Twice he had already felt this sensation, but the pain is always muted, distant-taken away as Castiel slips into his body and claims it.

Just like this he’s lost everything again, but unlike the last two times this time Jimmy closes his eyes and accepts his fate, letting light and Grace wash through him as the entire world whites out behind his closed eyelids.



Jimmy?

The white fades away, and now the world begins to slowly focus back before his already open eyes, and Jimmy mentally winces as he slowly allows his mind to adjust to the scenery that now lies before him. He sees the clouds in the sky dotting above him and hears the gentle lapping of waves at the nearby shoreline. The trees rustle quietly in the breeze and Jimmy has a feeling that he’s been here before, somewhere… somehow…

Jimmy, can you hear me?

It takes a moment for the man to realize who that voice is.

Castiel.

Cas, he starts instantly, pausing afterwards as he tries to make out what just happened. Why is he talking mentally to Castiel again? Jimmy tries to turn his head around, but his own body refuses to respond to him and he lets out a grunt of frustration. It’s almost as if-

The realization hits him right in the gut, and Jimmy has to pause for a moment to compose himself before speaking to the angel cautiously. Cas, am I…

Castiel makes a quiet sound of confirmation. We are in the same body again.

How- Jimmy starts to ask, but he’s cut short when he hears Dean’s voice beside him (Castiel, them, whatever) and Castiel turns his head around to where the hunter is, standing up and growling right at the Leviathan’s face.

“Bring him back, you son of a bitch!” he hears Dean snarl out.

The Leviathan only rolls its shoulders in a shrug and smiles not too kindly. “And deprive poor Jimmy from his nice, normal life? And why would I do that?”

Doesn’t it sense me here? Jimmy wonders out, both surprised and uncertain on what to make of this.

Castiel answers the question. I have shielded your presence with my Grace. It will not sense you unless you choose to let it do so.

Huh. Jimmy pauses for a moment, his mind putting two and two together. So you’ve still got your Grace?

Just a minimal amount, the angel admits quietly. It will not be enough to do much of anything.

It’s better than nothing, the man returns as he maintains his sight on Dean and the Leviathan facing each other, watching the hunter continue to snap back (courageously, if not stupidly) at the beast’s face.

“Bring him back, goddammit!” Dean snarls out again, fists already curled up and clenching tightly. Jimmy thinks that Dean would have punched the Leviathan a long time ago if he wasn’t certain of how hard the other might hit back.

“But he’s happy there,” the beast counters, smiling in a way that’s almost wistful. “Are you really so intent on not letting the meatsuit live out the nice, quiet life he wants so much? Really, Dean? I had no idea you were the jealous type.”

The words seem to strike a chord in the hunter, judging by how the human instantly tenses up and the way Dean’s jaw clenches as if the man has to hold back whatever that he had intended to say next. The glare that Dean sends over to the Leviathan is nothing but pure venom, and the beast only smiles in something that looks like triumph.

“Fuck you,” the man eventually hisses out fiercely, voice dripping with nothing but hate and disgust.

The corners of the Leviathan’s lips only curl upwards in amusement. “I think you should be saying that to the pretty-boy angel over there.” It jerks its head towards where Castiel is as it says that, and inside Jimmy can feel the angel recoiling just a little at the attention that the beast now signals towards him-towards them.

Jimmy tries not to let Castiel affect him too much, keeping his sights on the Leviathan as he hisses towards the angel. Any bright ideas, Cas?

I- the angel starts and then stops, pausing in hesitation on what he wants to say next and Jimmy has to nudge him a little before Castiel can speak up again. I-do have an idea, but it is risky.

It’s better than nothing, Jimmy quickly returns, impatience biting at him for a moment. What’s the plan?

Castiel hesitates once again, this time even before he starts to speak, and Jimmy is forced to give him yet another nudge. The angel makes a mildly uncomfortable sound before he speaks. Your soul is saturated with a significant amount of my Grace. I can draw it out from you and use it, and with the proper incantation I should be able to draw out the Leviathan from this body. Without a vessel, the Leviathan is useless, and the pull of Purgatory should draw it right back where it belongs. But-

-you’re not sure how well it might work, right? He finishes up for the angel, and Castiel gives a muted nod in response that only causes Jimmy to let out a sigh. Of course there always had to be something-but right now, there really isn’t much of a choice in the matter. Jimmy only gives himself a second before steeling himself, reaching out to Castiel and speaking to the angel. You know the incantation?

There’s a pause from Castiel before the angel responds. Yes.

Jimmy gives himself another moment to suck in a mental breath and stop the hammering of his (non-existent) heart. Okay, Cas. On the count of three.

Jimmy- Castiel’s voice suddenly rises up in alarm and shock, but Jimmy isn’t going to let that deter him. He’s already come this far. He has to do this.

One.

Jimmy, you don’t-

Two.

Jim-

Three!

Jimmy picks himself up from the ground at the last mental shout and starts charging head-on towards the Leviathan, pushing himself forward with all of his might and ignoring the startled shout of Castiel’s name that falls from Dean’s lips. Castiel is acting now, drawing out whatever Grace that’s seeped in the cracks of Jimmy’s soul and gathering it into himself and Jimmy feels his strength leaving him as he does so, the power of Castiel’s Grace sapping away whatever energy he has and draining Jimmy down to whatever he has left in his soul. The man grits his teeth together and forces himself forward, drawing out whatever strength that he can muster out from every part of his mind and body and soul.

The Leviathan whirls around, surprise flaring in its dark eyes as its caught off-guard by the sudden burst of energy that comes from Castiel. The moment quickly passes however, and soon the Leviathan narrows its eyes, thin silts of too-dark blue looking at the angel is disgust as it twists its lips into a twisted grin and moves to raise its hand, fingertips already starting rub in a snap-

A fierce roar suddenly pierces through the air, loud and violent, and there’s barely any time to register the sound before a flash of gleaming red crosses Jimmy’s vision and the next thing he hears is a shout of pain coming from the Leviathan, followed by a loud snarl. “Korialstrasz!”

The Alpha dragon returns the snarl with one of its own, leaning closer to the Leviathan as Korialstrasz hisses out with equal venom and hate. It is time for you to know your place. The dragon flares its wings out, and its then does Jimmy notice the battered, tattered state that Korialstrasz is in-he can see many spots across its body where the dragon’s scales have chipped and broken, the tender flesh scarred by scratches and stab wounds. Blood splatters across the rest of the untouched scales, staining and tarnishing the bright red into a color much darker and sinister. Judging from the awkward way that Korialstrasz stretches its left wing out, it’s also safe to say that the dragon must have fractured it as well.

Dean finally manages to find his voice then, and a look of relief washes across the hunter’s face for a moment before he shouts out. “Scales!”

Korialstrasz only returns Dean’s greeting with a snort, subtly shifting its right talon so that the Leviathan is held down securely under the weight of the Alpha dragon’s arm and entire body by proxy. The dragon gives the beast a passing glance before turning its gaze to Castiel, speaking out loud. Do the incantation, angel. I will help you and your vessel to accomplish it.

Crushed under Korialstrasz’s talon the Leviathan is unable to say anything, but the sudden struggle that Jimmy sees is more than enough to confirm the beast’s surprise. Dean, too, is taken aback, as he turns around to look at Castiel-at him-with wide, surprised eyes. “Jimmy? You’re in there?”

Jimmy is about to answer, but Castiel takes over there and then and replies in his stead. “Yes, Dean.”

There is no more time to waste, Korialstrasz speaks up sharply, letting out another cloud of smoke through its nostrils. Stay back, human. And then to Castiel: Do it now, angel.

“Yes,” Castiel answers, and quickly makes his way over to where the dragon is holding down the Leviathan. Jimmy can smell the thick scent of Korialstrasz’s smoke as the dragon breathes out, but Castiel’s angelic nature prevents his nose from choking and his eyes from watering as the angel kneels down at the Leviathan’s head, his gaze focusing wholly on nothing else but the beast who controls their bodies. The beast glares back venomously at them, unfiltered hate burning from its eyes.

Wait, Korialstrasz speaks up before Castiel can start, and the angel raises his head up just in time to see the dragon spitting something out at him. Castiel easily catches the item in his hand, and Jimmy follows the angel’s gaze to stare at the bloody fang that they hold now, saliva and blood dripping down from the tip. The Alpha dragon gives a brief nod towards the tooth now being held in their hands, explaining quickly. Stab this through its heart once you’re done with the incantation. It will unlock the cage that previously held them, and I will be able to throw it back in and close the cage for good.

Castiel only takes a moment before he nods, accepting the explanation, and tightens the hold he has on Korialstrasz’s fang as he reaches out with his other hand and presses it down across the collar, palm over where the sternum is and starts to let the words flow out from his (their) tongue, chanting in a language both familiar and foreign to him at the same time. It’s a mix of tongues that Jimmy can’t figure out heads or tails of but somehow the words click in his mind, translating over to English in his head due to Castiel’s power.

“By the power of the Father, creator of all, I purge you from this body. By the power of the Father, creator of all, I banish you from this vessel. By the power of the Father, creator of all, I send you back to where you belong.”

Somehow during the struggling the Leviathan manages to get its mouth free from under Korialstrasz’s talon, leaving it free to speak out as it snarls at Castiel’s face. “So you’re just going to play the good guy again, are you? After all that you’ve done, you think that this will make Dean forgive you? You foolish, foolish child.”

Jimmy attempts to help, supporting the angel in the one way he knows how as Castiel grits his teeth and continues with the invocation.

“-with the power of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, pull this impure soul out and return it to where it belongs. Bless this body with your power and burn the impurities that taint it so. With your power adjure the tainted soul that lives inside-”

The Leviathan lets out a scream there and then, and Jimmy sees the veins across its face turning dark with black blood, every one of the vessels highlighted out in black. The darkened veins sprawl out across the beast’s face in a crackling spider web, mapping out all of the veins and arteries of his face. Dark eyes flash again as the beast regains itself, and when it glares at Castiel this time Jimmy can sense how the Leviathan looks through the angel, and he knows that it’s not Castiel who the beast addresses next when he talks.

It’s him.

“And you,” it growls out, nothing but disgust dripping from its voice, and it’s almost a terrifying thing to hear between the burning hate in its eyes and the way its face is nearly black from the dark blood that pumps through its veins. “Even after what I’ve let you experienced, you still choose to be a slave for this foolish angel? You still allow yourself to be controlled by somebody like him? I gave you a chance to get out of this, and yet you still choose this life instead. Why would you allow yourself this, human? Why?”

Castiel’s still chanting out loud and there’s no way that Jimmy can interrupt without ruining the entire thing, but somehow Jimmy’s certain that the Leviathan can hear him as he replies, letting out a burst of courage and determination that he never knew he had within him up until now. “Because Castiel needs me, and Castiel is my friend. I can’t give up on him when everybody else has, because that’s what it means to be his vessel. To be his support, and his guide, and to help him where he fails. Because without me Castiel would not have been able to be around to help the Winchesters in stopping the Apocalypse, and even though I’ve lost everything that makes me Jimmy Novak there is still somebody who remembers me, and he will make sure that I won’t be forgotten.”

Jimmy pauses and takes in a breath, glaring straight back at the Leviathan’s eyes as he finishes his answer. “Because I made this choice out of my own free will, and no matter what you say I am still somebody. I still matter. So you can shut your mouth and go back to your cage.”

The Leviathan gives Jimmy a final glare before it screams once more, and Jimmy can start to see flickers of light starting to appear across the cracks of its face, and its dark eyes start to glow with an unholy light. The world focuses around him again as Castiel speaks the last bits of the incantation, voice rising higher and louder as he all but shouts out the last words.

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, I abdicate you from this body. Amen!”

With the last word spoken Castiel swings down the fang in his hand and smashes it against its chest, over right where the human heart lay. Black blood spurts out messily over Castiel’s hand and Korialstrasz’s talon, staining through the already dark suit that the Leviathan wears as the fang digs in harshly through cloth and skin and muscle. The beast lets out a sharp, loud cry that can possibly rival the angels’ as the light starts to spread, flaring up brighter the more Castiel digs deeper inside with the dragon’s fang. Jimmy can literally feel the scream ringing in his ears, eardrums shaking so hard Jimmy has to wonder why they haven’t burst yet.

It’s just then when he hears Korialstrasz’s voice growling across his head, speaking in a tongue of its own that Castiel somehow translates as well. “In the name of my kin and brethren, I, Korialstrasz, banish you back to the Lake of Souls where you reside. Return, foul beasts. Return to your cage.”

The Leviathan lets out a final scream after the Alpha dragon says those words, crying out louder than its last few shouts as the light flares even brighter, perhaps even brighter than an angel’s Grace as nothing but white cloaks Jimmy’s vision. He feels his strength sapping out from him as Castiel struggles to pull together whatever Grace that his soul still holds onto, pumping it all out to force the Leviathan away from his body-from Castiel’s body-and the scream goes higher and higher until Jimmy is deaf from the beast’s cries. Whatever energy he has left quickly flees from him as his senses white out and Jimmy feels exhaustion like no other settling into him, dragging him down into the soft embrace of unconsciousness as white fades to black and Jimmy knows no more once again.



He’s floating in nothingness, drifting in that strange, perpetual space between here and there. Not that he actually knows where here and there is, but all the same he can’t exactly bring himself to care. He’s tried, drained of everything, and he’s happy enough to remain here floating, resting in this strange place of nothingness. The darkness is calming, and there’s a quiet sort of peace that presses around him and soothes him after all the agony and pain and sorrow that he’s been through.

This is the end.

He doesn’t feel it at first, but eventually he does sense it-something else other than the darkness pressing against his soul, pounding insistently at his psyche as a voice calls out to him, indistinguishable at first but soon taking form, shouting out words that his mind manage to register.

Jimmy!

Jimmy-yes, that’s his name. Jimmy Novak, thirties, born and living in Pontiac, Illinois. He has a wife and a daughter-a family that means everything to him, a family he had to leave for-

-leave for-

(“You served us well, your work is done. It's time to go home now. Your real home. You'll rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Rest now, Jimmy.”)

Rest? Yes, rest is good. Jimmy lets the darkness slip into him once again, gently tugging him away from consciousness. But the voices are loud and insistent, and the further he drifts the louder it pounds, nearly howling in the darkness. Jimmy!

Why are the voices calling him? Jimmy wants to bat them away; he’s tired, so tired…

This is not the end.

Jimmy finds himself slowly focusing on the new voice that suddenly booms, each syllable ringing to the core of his soul as he slowly starts to stir. The voices grow louder as he focuses in the darkness, and he can make out the different voices, all of them calling out his name.

He opens his mouth to start replying, but the loud voice booms again, questioning. Do you want it to end, Jimmy Novak?

The man only blinks once before the answer tumbles out easily from his lips, plain and simple. “No.”

His name is Jimmy Novak, thirty-four years old, born and bred in Pontiac, Illinois. He has a wife named Amelia and a daughter named Claire. They mean the world to him, but he had to leave them thrice now in order to be the vessel for the angel of Thursday. The last thing he remembers is the world turning white on him when Castiel banished the Leviathan back into Purgatory, and now-

Jimmy pauses when he feels a surge of amusement rippling in the darkness. To think that even the vessel is as exceptional as the angel it houses. You and Castiel are truly one of a kind.

He frowns a bit at the words, but decides not to comment on it. “Is the Leviathan gone?”

A pause. Yes, and it is you that the world has to thank for this time.

“You mean Castiel,” Jimmy blurts out before he can help himself.

The amusement surges through him once more, and there’s another brief pause before the voice speaks again. If I can give you one thing, Jimmy, anything at all-what will you ask for?

It’s a question that makes Jimmy pause. Once upon a time, Jimmy knows what he would have asked for-he would have asked to be taken out of this life and this destiny, to not be some vessel for some angel and be one of Heaven’s unwitting pawns. But now, after everything, Jimmy knows that asking that wouldn’t work out for the best. This is his destiny, and this is what he has chosen. But still, if he could…

Jimmy casts his eyes around the darkness and gives his answer. “I’d like to see my family.”

The warmth is evident in the voice this time round. You are a good man, Jimmy Novak.

“I try my best,” he replies with a wry grin, although that soon slips from his face as Jimmy feels exhaustion settling into his yet again. He lets out a loud yawn without thinking twice, eyelids already starting to droop over his eyes. He sinks back into the darkness, letting it comfort him again as he gradually slips back into it.

Just as he drifts off, he hears the voice speak one last time. The end is only but the beginning, Jimmy Novak. This is just the beginning.

→ epilogue: a million ways to say hello →