Comments | inkcanvas: Naruto: Revaluation

graychalk in inkcanvas

Naruto: Revaluation

Feb 21, 2008 05:32

Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: Shikamaru/Temari
Rating/Status: PG / 769 words, complete
Timeline: Probably during or after the time skip.
Summary: Temari realizes some things quite suddenly and unexpectedly.

Author's Note: Digging around my computer sometimes yields the strangest things I've forgotten about... in this case, some really really old fics I tried ( Read more... )

pair: shikamaru/temari, char: temari, char: nara shikamaru, fandom: naruto

Comments 17

yumi_maki February 20 2008, 22:00:02 UTC

Ha! I really liked that. I really enjoyed it - it was very cute. Now I've got a big grin on my face (cuz I realized that if she was early and he was already there, then that meant that he was super early!) I think you captured them both very well but Temari in particular. I thought it was really good.
My concrit is simply that something about the last line doesnt mesh, the line itself doesn't flow. You might want to reword it. That's all!

graychalk February 21 2008, 10:02:08 UTC

Thank you so much for the compliments and the concrit as well. I can't think of how to reword the last sentence for the moment, especially since this was written almost 2 years ago. I remember I wasn't ever all that happy with how I ended it- maybe I'll get around to editing it eventually. :p

I'm glad you think I got Temari well though. It was my first try at writing from her POV, so it's a relief to know I didn't butcher her character completely!

ballades February 20 2008, 22:24:41 UTC

YOU'RE BACK OMG?

graychalk February 21 2008, 10:04:03 UTC

I'd love to say I'm really actually back... but I have serious doubts about it. I might quit my job (which is taking over my life) so you never know!

katterrena February 21 2008, 01:16:26 UTC

That was excellent. They both revealed what they didn't want to reveal. Complete awesomeness.

graychalk February 21 2008, 10:07:53 UTC

Thank you so much! Really glad you liked it the idea of them revealing something unexpectedly as well. :)

katterrena February 21 2008, 21:14:45 UTC

You are completely welcome.

blankbullets February 21 2008, 03:12:57 UTC

very very cute. and in a wonderfully subtle way.

graychalk February 21 2008, 09:56:26 UTC

Thank you! :) Subtle seems to be the only way I had ever known how to write ShikaTema, so I always end up feeling like my fics on the two gets rather boring... so I'm doubly glad you liked it anyway as it is!

moonwitch February 21 2008, 03:45:31 UTC

Haven't read it yet, but glad to see you're still alive! :D

graychalk February 21 2008, 09:57:16 UTC

I'm glad to see that I'm still alive too... though sometimes I wonder about that myself. I've been so busy with work. ;_; How are you?

moonwitch February 21 2008, 12:53:50 UTC

I'm pretty good, kinda busy too. :D Finishing up with summer school (I have a take home exam @_@) and just less than a week after that I'm back at uni properly for my second year. :3

Hope you keep updating & don't stress too much! ♥