4th Recording // Cave Johnson // Accidental Video

[iowntheplace]

[Cave appears on the screen, and my has he looked better. His nose is clearly broken, bandages covering it up. He also clearly has no idea he's recording live to the network, as he thought he may as well resume with his pre-recorded message habit while he's a resident of the city.]So, I've been contemplating the cavalcade of events that have

Comments

[Video]

[bravestofprimes]

[Optimus hears you, Cave, and he is willing to give some absolutely stellar advice.]

Avoiding such disasters would be in your best interests, my friend. How did you come across such injuries?

[Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave does not yet have the ability to receive and use advice properly. However, he is more than happy to complain tell Optimus how he got such injuries.]

Oh this? You want to know how THIS happened?!? [ He waves his hand over his face with an annoyed scowl. ] So I was just offering to teach an illiterate robot how to read, and he gets mad for some reason, comes flying at me keeps yelling his name Lord Staaaarrr.... uuh.. Something.. he said it wasn't erection...whatever. Then he beams down this laser guy and he beats me up for no reason.

[Video]

[bravestofprimes]

[Yes, that sounded quite like Starscream. Although, from prior meeting, he can only guess that Cave slapped Starscream across the face and...well...got what was coming to him.]

I deeply apologize for Starscream. He is rather temperamental and desperate for leadership. However, I will assure you he is quite literate.

[Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave nods, like he's heard this before.]

Right, no, we went over that between assaults. He can read, just not in american.

[ video ]

[jumpsuitmonster]

[ See Chell.

See Chell holding her apartment toilet handle.

See Chell's face for further instructions.

At least when she's upset, she knows how to string words together, right?

She hasn't the slightest idea he's not aware that he's not recording, but broadcasting. ]

Did "science" break my toilet handle?

[ In anger, she's not only got her sentences down, but her sarcasm too! Oh boy, here it goes. ]

[ video ]

[iowntheplace]

Hmm?

[Cave notices the woman holding the handle. He is NOT aware that the apartment was her's, nor is he aware it was her toilet he broke.]

Oh? Uh...you weren't supposed to be seeing this. Who might you be? That is a...handle? Yes. A handle.

[Cave's eyes widen in realization.]

Oh, Oh! Oh. Look, that wasn't my fault. Probably. I just pushed the thing, and pulled the other thing, and the handle snapped off. No idea how the tank burst, or how the ph level of the water became so acidic. I'm certain any radiation involved has a short half-life, I promise.

[Video]

[swordandscales]

No offence guy but it appears your "brilliance" has got you kinda beaten up.

Are you okay?

Re: [Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave shrugs in response.]

Well, yeah. Okay. This time it did. But all the other uses of my intellect turned out fine.

["Fine" in this case meaning death, followed by a two week containment, followed by an awkward conversation about a toilet.]

[Video]

[swordandscales]

I wasn't talking about your intellect I was talking about you.

Those injuries don't exactly make me think you've been rolling in a field of flowers. What happened?

[Video]

[iowntheplace]

[Cave wonders how he can answer this and make himself look good, and figures he'll just tell the truth.]

I was punched in the face by a giant robot.

[robocreep]

[Oh look, it's this guy again.

Soundwave isn't honestly stalking you, he just couldn't help but notice the feed was on and overhear you talking to yourself. It's quite funny. Especially considering how close you are to self realization here. And how hilariously far away.

That overgrown toaster is his commander you know. Primus forbid he hear this feed.

Which doesn't seem to convince Soundwave to shut it off. Actually, the 'Con just directs his full attention to the screen now, listening in.

Let's play a game. It's called "How Aware is Cave Today?" The prize is noticing you're being stared at by a twenty five foot tall faceless mute robot.]

[iowntheplace]

[Soundwave, not being the first to interrupt Cave's soliloquy, doesn't surprise Cave in the slightest. He doesn't seem to recognize you at first, squinting until it hits him...]

Ah! Right, the toaster's friend. Sure. You were...ah..noun..something.

[Cave takes a moment. He is oh so terrible with remembering names of people that bring no profit.]

Pound Cake? Is that you Poundcake? Have you taught your friend how to read yet?

[robocreep]

[Where the hell did you get that one from? He's honestly curious now. How bad does your memory retention have to be to mess up a simple name like Soundwave? He'll give you credit: It KIND OF sounds the same. Kind of. And it has the same amount of syllables. E for effort.

The silent 'Con tilts his head slightly.]

--Soundwave--

[Yeah that's Starscream's oil slick voice slithering out of his audio output. But past that. Data flickered across the screen. Countless amounts of texts, English and Cybertronian, an image of Starscream appearing alongside it. No, Starscream knows how to read, Cave. Thanks for the concern though.]

[iowntheplace]

[Nope, that wasn't the robots name. He was sure he'd heard pound cake. The various inputs and texts on the screen flickering by are far too much for him to read into. Pretty much tl;dr]

Oh, does he mispronounce you're name? Why, the word soundwave isn't even close to Poundcake. That's pretty mean, but I imagine it's some light-hearted ribbing between friends. Don't take it personally, okay? Keep your chin up, Poundcake.