Comments | inhumandecency: dealing with the parents (again)

inhumandecency

dealing with the parents (again)

Dec 29, 2008 19:34

I spent a week with my parents in Houston. It's certainly the best parental visit I've made since I moved out in 1996. I was less confrontational, less easily annoyed, and more responsive to them than I've ever been (at least as a teenager or adult). Who knows why? Probably some combination of time, getting back into cognitive-behavioral therapy ( Read more... )

perspective, personal

Comments 5

don_negro December 30 2008, 05:31:23 UTC

* I get worked up when my parents warn me about silly things ("make sure not to drop that plate," "don't spill hot oil on yourself"). It starts me thinking "they treat me like I'm incompetent! They don't trust me to do anything!" But actually, they trust me to answer complicated scientific questions for them, to give them advice on important medical issues for other family members, and to fix their computers no matter how badly Windows mucks them up. So it would seem they think of me as a wise and accomplished scholar who has trouble tying his shoelaces. When you think about it that way, it's really pretty funny.

Thank you for reminding me of this.

contentlove December 30 2008, 15:34:06 UTC

Spot on for me, too.

qmrf December 30 2008, 17:55:13 UTC

Thirded.

I always find myself having competency self-doubt around my parents - especially, say, when my dad is over helping with home improvement projects - and have to remind myself of all the ways they treat me like an expert in other fields. Sure, I'm not able to properly handle this particular handtool (which is my father's, that he brought over for this specific task, and I've never used before), but remember my mom calling me up to double-check her absentee ballot picks?

contentlove December 30 2008, 15:33:46 UTC

I really enjoyed reading this, because I've struggled over some of these exact behaviors. I like the way you're thinking about them...

ztatiz December 31 2008, 02:14:06 UTC

It always bugs me when smart but ignorant laypeople assume that psychologists have never given ten seconds of thought to methodology.This. omg, that's probably one of my biggest pet peeves ever. Sometimes I wish I could enroll everyone age 18 and up in a research methods class, and an introductory stats course wouldn't hurt while they're at it. But I guess that's just me placing too much emphasis on academics and not enough on "wisdom that comes with age," and "real-world experience," again. But in any case, then I remember that, oh yeah, that's not actually plausible. And it'd be a waste of time. And methods and stats classes would really suck if that were to happen ( ... )