Difficult

Feb 21, 2012 13:28

(At Pantheacon ( Read more... )

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nisaa February 20 2012, 21:45:39 UTC
It was so hard being there last night. I echo a lot of the things you said. I used to respect her for all that she did. When she said yesterday "I am your elder", I thought, "You used to be my elder and then I found out you were a bigot. And you hurt people I care about."

We were so powerful, all of us sitting there in protest last night. It was the hardest thing I did this weekend but it was perhaps the most worthwhile half hour I spent at Pantheacon.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 01:06:22 UTC
Thank you for coming.

There was a woman there who didn't know about the sit in, and who came on her own.

I feel happy when I think about how that must have felt for her, to be ready to do this on her own and then to come and find people she'd never met before there and waiting. That's wonderful to be able to do that.

Thank you for coming.

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nancyblue February 20 2012, 22:27:16 UTC
This is so, so hard. I genuinely feel you here. She did so much, blazed trails, did genuinely important things for women and *in her own mind* she is putting women first with every breath she takes. How can we not honor that impulse? BUT times changed. Our understanding of complicated issues becomes more refined all the time, and she chooses not to engage with that progress and instead to respond with anger and hateful words and sheer aggression. When I encountered her the other week at the Pagan Studies conference I was SO angry with her behavior. So angry. And then I had a private encounter where I needed to put that aside and simply assist the old woman who was confused and needed help. And then I was touched and filled with compassion for her simple humanity. Yes, we need to be resolute, and we need to push and explain and educate and sit.

And also, we need to begin dialogue with event organizers about whether or not exclusive rituals of this type are appropriate at P'Con at this juncture. This wasn't just Z's doing.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 01:07:32 UTC
Thank you. I'm sorry we didn't get to visit more at the con.

You are awesome.

And it's possible that discussion is already happening. The head of AW, Glenn Turner was there. 89 people out of 2000 is almost five percent of the con.

It's changing.

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psi_star_psi February 20 2012, 23:03:21 UTC
When I was reading through the con booklet in the queue Saturday night, that event's restrictions jumped out at both me and aelfie. I am heartened to see that it did not pass unchallenged.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 01:08:32 UTC
Thank you.

I am a strong supporter of spaces for women and for men. They can be very powerful places. I learned and grew a lot in women's spaces.

But I don't want to define women's space to exclude trans women. And that's where the rubber hits the road.

Thank you for commenting.

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johno February 21 2012, 06:11:45 UTC
I heard a little bit about this on Saturday and one person's reaction was...

"If you exclude trans folks from 'male/female only" space, how do they learn to be the person they truly are?"

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 15:11:29 UTC
That is a good point.

Some people will say that they should go to "trans" only spaces, but that doesn't work. See... men are men and women are women.

Thank you for commenting!

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lobolance February 21 2012, 00:07:27 UTC
You are so strong and brave and this post is lovely and indeed worth sharing.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 01:08:57 UTC
I love you too. Public now.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 01:10:53 UTC
Thank you for coming by. There are some times that things are meant to be exclusive. Feri initiate only circles do things that we vow during initiation to not do with people who aren't initiates. Mens circles do things that are for men to work on together - I actually think those are powerful spaces for men to examine their own privilige in a focused environment. And so on and so on.

I can't exclude trans women from women tho. That's where the rubber hits the road for me.

I am feeling very sad. I hate having to call out someone who is an elder and a founder. It is painful.

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inflectionpoint February 21 2012, 15:13:45 UTC
Please see my comment in response to stef.

I do work in spaces that are women only, and initiate only. There are particular kinds of work that I swore to do only with other initiates. And I meant it when I swore.

I do work in women's spaces and love women's spaces because I found them a safe place to be me-sized and not constantly worrying about whether I was small enough and pleasing enough to divert the anger this time.

Where I can't be with this is when women's spaces want to exclude trans women. That's where the rubber hits the road for me.

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