iss 2011: for emolga
To: emolga
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Maps
Pairing/Focus: Woohyun/Dongwoo
Rating: pg-13
Word count: 7716
Summary: Woohyun just wants to be selfish for a little while longer.
wait
they don't love you like i love you
made off
don't stray
my kind's your kind
i'll stay the same
maps ; yeah yeah yeahs
-
We’ll be alright. Don’t be scared.
It’s a child’s voice, indistinct over the rustling and cracking sounds of the dry autumn leaves. There’s the sound of clumsy footsteps squishing into the dirt and mud. There’s the smell of clean, untouched air and the silence of the forest looming overhead.
I’m here, the voice says, trying it’s best to be calm and reassuring.
Then there’s a bright smile - a little kid’s smile - all baby teeth and gums.
You’re not alone.
-
Woohyun wakes up.
He squints in the darkness at the glowing green numbers that flash on the clock on his bedside table.
Way too early, it reads and Woohyun buries his head into his pillow, muffling his groan.
Outside his window, the sky is the colour of ink.
Woohyun doesn’t fall back to sleep.
-
“You look horrible,” Sunggyu says, without a bit of sympathy when Woohyun drags himself out of his bedroom in the morning. Woohyun grunts.
“I feel horrible.” Woohyun agrees.
He lets himself rest the side of his face against the cool marble of the breakfast counter.
Sunggyu pours him his morning cup of coffee and pushes it into his hands.
Woohyun stares into his mug of coffee, frowning at the tired, haggard expression he finds staring back in his reflection.
He drinks it all up, satisfied when he can’t see his exhausted face appear in the cup.
“That dream again?”
Woohyun nods and pushes his cup forward.
“More coffee please.”
-
It’s not so much of a dream as it is a half-remembered memory.
Sunggyu’s the only person Woohyun’s ever told about it, the only person he trusts to keep it a secret.
It’s stupid after all, he thinks.
It’s too sappy, too sentimental and too one-sided - too many of the things Woohyun isn’t - to be the only person remembering things that everyone else has forgotten.
He remembers all the important bits, but over the years the details grow grainy and fuzzy like background noise.
This is what he remembers.
Once upon a time, there had been a little boy named Nam Woohyun and a slightly older - boy named Jang Dongwoo.
He doesn’t remember when he becomes friends with Dongwoo exactly - a shy exchange of hellos at a birthday party? Maybe, Woohyun wasn’t sure - but he remembers running along the river bank with him, chasing dragonflies, catching beetles and doing dumb little kid stuff together.
Their fathers had been best friends and camping had become a tradition between their families.
Woohyun could still recall their fathers laughing their heads off and talking loud enough to wake up the forest, their mothers watching and shaking their heads at them and giggling among themselves.
They’d pitch up their tents the day they arrived, and in the morning after they’d take a hike through the forest trail.
Woohyun’s not too sure how it happened exactly but one summer when Woohyun is about seven or eight, he and Dongwoo get lost in the forest.
He turns around, and then it’s just the two of them.
Two little kids, alone in a sea of trees and everything is suddenly too huge and alien and frightening.
Dongwoo’s barely a year older, not all that much wiser or braver but he sums up all the courage he has in his tiny little body and grabs Woohyun’s hand.
We’ll be alright, Woohyun-ah, don’t be scared.
Woohyun sniffs, wipes his tears away on the back of his arm, tries to put on a brave face.
I’m here for you. Dongwoo squeezes his hand. You’re not alone
They try to find their way for little over an hour before Woohyun tears up again. The little sob he’s been holding back bubbles out of his throat in a hiccup when they reach the same strange formation of rocks.
Woohyun starts sobbing then.
“It’s okay, it’s okay”, Dongwoo soothes, and wraps his skinny arms around Woohyun’s shoulders when his stomach lets out an unhelpful little rumble.
“You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Woohyun asks. Dongwoo shakes his head but his stomach gives him away again and he hangs his head low.
“Mum gave me some biscuits earlier.” Woohyun digs through his jean pockets, fishes out a packet of half-crushed cookies and hands it to Dongwoo. “You can have them.”
“Are you sure?”
Woohyun nods.
“Thank you!” He says, his smile the brightest thing in the forest.
Woohyun’s stomach flutters.
“Don’t worry, Woohyun-ah! We’ll see our mum and dad soon.” He says, wipes away the crumbs scattered around his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I hope so. It’s scary being alone.”
Dongwoo tilts his head, confused.
“I told you already, you’re not alone! I’m here.” He fits his fingers around Woohyun’s as if to prove to him that he was real, holds it up for Woohyun to take a good look. “See?”
“Come on, let’s go find our parents.”
Woohyun thinks Dongwoo’s energy is contagious because he finds the strength to nod he and feels a little better inside.
They walk through the forest for as far and as long as their short legs can go.
They end up walking for hours before they come across another couple hiking together - a man and his wife bewildered to see two children wandering around by themselves.
They guide them both back to the campsite and Woohyun doesn’t expect it at all when Dongwoo - Dongwoo who tried his best to be brave and strong and cheerful enough for the both of them -bursts into tears as soon as he sees his mother again.
Their parents scold them and hug them and Dongwoo’s mother is going I’m never letting you out of my sight again and I don’t know what I’ve have done if something had happened to you.
Later in the car ride home, Dongwoo sits next to Woohyun.
“I promised you, didn't I? Things would turn out okay.” He says.
“Thanks.” Woohyun says.
Dongwoo shakes his head.
“No problem! We’re friends right? We’re supposed to be there for each other.” He says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it is.
“All that walking today made me sleepy though.” He says and his eyes start to close. Before Woohyun knows it, Dongwoo falls asleep on his shoulder.
(Dongwoo’s older sister takes a photo of them in that moment and the photograph hangs in the main hall of Dongwoo’s house in a pretty wooden frame. Despite Dongwoo’s repeated requests to take it down because if I bring girls home they don’t need to see a little kid photo of me drooling on Woohyun’s shoulder, it hangs proudly for all to see.
It’s a secret but whenever Woohyun visits and he sees the photo, he can’t help but smile to himself.)
After that incident, not-too-surprisingly, Dongwoo and Woohyun’s families stop going camping.
-
As the seasons change, so do they.
Years pass and Woohyun starts to fill into his gangly arms and limbs. One day Dongwoo dyes his hair an obnoxious shade of red in an adolescent act of rebellion and like all boys do, they grow up.
Somehow though they find a way to stay friends.
Woohyun dates one girl all the way through high school.
She has long hair that she keeps in a neat little braid, skin as pale as the moon, the prettiest set of legs in their class and the curve of the delicate set of her pink cupid bow lips drive (shouldn’t have an s, i think?) all the boys crazy.
She leaves aside a few treats for him that she’d bake in her home economics class wrapped in a handkerchief, attends all his track meets with the brightest smile on her face cheering him on until she lost her voice and lingers by the school gate after the last bell every day to walk home together.
She’s smart and funny and runs fast enough to send their track team to the regional championships.
She’s everything a high school sweetheart ought to be.
She finds out about her scholarship - all fees and expenses paid to a prestigious school in a city miles away - a week after they graduate.
The first person she tells is Woohyun.
Come with me, she pleads over the phone when she gets the news. There’s something urgent in her voice, almost desperate. Please.
I’ll go, Woohyun thinks, his ear pressed to the receiver, is what she probably wants to hear most.
Woohyun is calm and cool on the other line when he tells her however, plain and simple: we need to talk.
Their relationship - years of midnight calls, Valentines’ Day chocolates and shy kisses in secluded areas of the library (cause you won’t really kiss in public right, lol) - ends a few days later with a slap across Woohyun’s cheek in an empty classroom after school.
She tears up - Woohyun thinks he hears a half-mumbled, half-sobbed I hate you - and runs away.
Woohyun doesn’t apologize.
(He doesn’t go after her either)
He shows up later at Dongwoo’s house, the side of his face still pink and burning.
Dongwoo doesn’t ask any questions and lets him in.
“It’s such a shame,” Dongwoo says as he presses a pack of meat he steals from his freezer to Woohyun’s cheek.
Woohyun sighs at the cool relief.
“What is?”
“You and your girlfriend. You guys have been together for so long. I never expected this.”
Woohyun stays silent. He raises his hand and curls his fingers into the crook of Dongwoo’s arm.
“What would you have done if I had followed her?” He smirks. “What would you have done if I’d left with her?”
Woohyun waits a few heartbeats, smiles when Dongwoo fidgets a little, looks away and rubs the back of his neck.
“I guess I’d understand.” He says, avoiding Woohyun’s eyes. “I mean, if you really love someone it would only make sense to go after them if they leave right?” He grins.
“It doesn’t seem logical to drop everything to go after one person but it’d be worth it, I’m sure.”
Woohyun runs a nervous hand through his hair.
“It’d be weird not having you around though.” He bites his lip. “I guess I’m kind of relieved. That’s selfish of me, isn’t it?” He laughs.
When Woohyun goes back home that night, he dreams of the two of them in the forest.
He dreams for the first time - his subconscious pulling forth the blurry memory, blows the dust off of it - of Dongwoo’s shirt damp with his tears and snot and the familiar warmth of Dongwoo’s hand in his.
He wakes up and realizes if Dongwoo was ever the one to leave, if Dongwoo was the one to ask, the answer would always, could only be just yes.
Woohyun wouldn’t know how to say otherwise.
(“You really are kind of stupidly in love with this Dongwoo guy, aren’t you?” Sunggyu asked, the first time Woohyun told him the story, the day Sunggyu becomes his flatmate and they chat over drinks.
Sunggyu’s expression seemed grave and sorry in the dim bar lights but Woohyun’s vision was too skewed from the alchohol and it was too dark to be certain.
So maybe Woohyun was just a little too drunk to care at the time, so he slurred, “Yes. Yes I am.”)
-
There’s a knock on the door as soon as Sunggyu pours him more coffee.
Woohyun goes to open it. He finds his girlfriend standing on the other side.
“I’m sorry to drop by like this unannounced.” She says. “We need to talk.”
Woohyun can tell what’s coming.
“Not here though.” She says, chances a glance at Sunggyu over Woohyun’s shoulder. Sunggyu gets the hint and leaves the room.
Woohyun grabs the nearest coat from the rack.
“Let’s go.” He says.
-
Woohyun knows all too well how this goes down.
He’s lost count how many times he’s found himself in this same situation.
They’re in a nice enough restaurant. Not too formal, not too casual. A jacket might have been a little too much in this kind of place.
The girl sitting in the chair across from him dabs at the corner of her cherry red lips with her napkin.
She’s pretty and long-haired - they all are - with skin the colour of paper. She places the napkin next to her plate and clasps her hands together, a crease in her forehead when her eyebrows meet.
“I think we should break up.”
Woohyun wears his smirk like he would an old, comfortable pair of worn-out sneakers.
“I agree.” He says. He always does, when it comes down to this.
(It always comes down to this)
He pulls out his wallet, places a few bills on the table.
“I think this should just about cover our lunch.” He says. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”
He moves to stand up from the table because prolonging this non-date and this entire conversation would just become painfully awkward and he’s ready to leave when she grabs his wrist.
Woohyun frowns at the hand pulling him back.
“I’m not done yet.” She says.
Woohyun sits back down.
“You should say what you want to say.” He says.
He offers her a kind smile. She stares at the plate in front of her, words soft when she speaks.
“You don’t see anyone but him, do you? He’ll always be what’s most precious to you.”
Woohyun freezes in his seat.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” She shakes her head. “Never mind. I don’t need an answer to know that it’s true.” She tucks a lock of hair behind the shell of her ear. “Your face says enough.”
“You look at him differently from the way you look at everyone else, you know?” She laughs.“If you’re worried, don’t be. It’s not that obvious. It was to me only because I was always looking at you.”
Woohyun searches for the right words to say, and when nothing really seems to fit, he manages an “I’m sorry”.
“Sorry about what?” She asks, a trace of bitterness in her voice.
“You really loved me, didn’t you?”
She looks down at her lap.
“I really did.” She starts crying then, hastily wiping the tear that rolls down her cheek.
Woohyun gets up from his seat, places a gentle hand on her shoulder and presses his lips to her forehead.
The words I’m sorry I couldn’t love you as much as you deserved, sound too cruel.
“Thank you for everything.” He says instead.
-
Lee Sungyeol has been friends with Woohyun ever since they met in college. He’s tall, lanky and his eyes sparkle whenever he conceives some brilliant prank.
They become sort-of accomplices when both of them decide to pull a prank on their new lecturer - a balding, middle-aged man (‘Pervert,’ Sungyeol would correct) who squawks when he’s angry and ogles at all the pretty young girls in his class.
Woohyun trips him by the door with a casual oops and Sungyeol pours vinegar into his coffee and the mutual look of respect they exchange after marks the start of a wonderful friendship.
“You ever have any problems, just give me a call or leave me a message.” Sungyeol says, shortly after they get to know each other. “We’ll go out and do something crazy.”
After Woohyun walks out of the restaurant, he takes out his phone and looks Sungyeol’s name up in his contacts.
He types his message in a rush and hits send.
To: Sungyeol
From: Woohyun
Sungyeol-ah, let’s go out tonight. I need a drink.
To: Sungyeol
From: Woohyun
A lot of drinks.
-
Woohyun is bent over the curb outside the club trying to puke his guts out when Dongwoo’s scuffed-up sneakers - and the ends of his ratty jeans appear in his line of sight. Woohyun looks up, dazed.
“Sungyeol called me.” Dongwoo explains, when he sees how puzzled Woohyun is.
Well, that’s just unfair, Woohyun thinks but his thoughts get cut off by the awful pounding in his head and the overwhelming urge he has to hurl.
He dry heaves over the sidewalk, and Dongwoo gives him a few pats on the back.
I look and feel like crap and you shouldn’t have to be here taking care of me. He thinks he says it aloud by accident because Dongwoo’s shoulders shake with mirth.
“Don’t be silly. You’re one of my oldest friends.” His hand lands on Woohyun’s shoulder. “I know you’d do the same for me.”
In a heartbeat, Woohyun thinks.
The strong wave of nausea returns a moment after.
Dongwoo spares him a look of concern, reaches out towards him, his fingertips warm against his hairline. Woohyun leans into his touch.
“It’s been a while since Sungyeol’s called me to pick you up from here. I haven’t seen you this wasted in ages. What would your girlfriend think?” Dongwoo asks, as he helps Woohyun up into the passenger seat of his car.
Woohyun snorts.
“She really doesn’t have to think anything, seeing as how we just broke up.” Dongwoo stops in the middle of fastening his seatbelt.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” He says. Woohyun wants to tell him, don’t be. “That’s too bad. I really liked her. She was nice.”
Woohyun stares out the window, at the empty suburban night streets.
“You’re nicer.”
The corners of Dongwoo’s mouth twitches.
“Yeah, well I’m not your girlfriend, am I?” He grins at Woohyun. “So what happened?”
“It’s nothing you should worry about.” Woohyun says.
He puts on a smile, I’m alright, look, I’m fine, he hope it says. It’s a weak attempt at brushing off Dongwoo’s worries.
“Besides, all I really need is you.”
Dongwoo gives him a long look but before Woohyun can figure out what he’s thinking, the light turns green and he turns back towards the road, shoulders tense.
Woohyun stares at him.
“Is something wrong?”
Dongwoo turns in at the next junction, eyes locked on the road.
“Nothing’s wrong. You don’t have to look so serious.” Dongwoo shrugs his question off. His voice isn’t angry - it never is - but it’s not much of nothing either.
“We’re almost at your apartment.” The rest of the drive down the road is quiet and wordless. Dongwoo pulls over in front of Woohyun’s building, twists the key out of the ignition and undoes his seat belt.
“Come on. I’ll walk you up.”
-
The flat’s quiet when they walk in and Dongwoo gropes around in the dark for the light switch.
“I guess Sunggyu-hyung’s not at home, huh.” Dongwoo bites his lip. “I don’t think I should leave you alone just yet.”
“Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself.” Woohyun says just as he almost trips on the rug laid out in the hall. “After all, I am the amazing Nam Woohyun.
Dongwoo shakes his head and helps him up and into his bedroom. Woohyun falls onto his bed, and buries his head into his soft mattress.
Dongwoo snickers, sits on the edge of the bed and ruffles Woohyun’s hair.
He mutters something but it’s too indistinct - like someone trying to yell from a great distance - for Woohyun to make it out.
The warm hand in his hair disappears shortly after - Woohyun hears the front door opening, Oh, Sunggyu-hyung’s home - he makes out a short muffled conversation coming from the other room and then the apartment falls into silence and he loses himself to sleep.
-
Woohyun has the dream again but it’s different somehow from all the others.
It’s painted in colours more vivid and sharp, like an old cartoon remastered in technicolour television.
You’re not alone, the little boy in his dream says, conviction in his gap-toothed grin and the set of his shoulders then the image blurs, warps and distorts into something else.
The vision of boy Dongwoo in his oversized white cotton shirt changes to the present Dongwoo.
Black hair turns the colour of caramel, the childish roundness of his face carved away to reveal sharp lines and angles.
He takes a few steps back, lifts the corners of his lips and shows off all his teeth.
I’m sorry. But I have to go now.
Almost like an illusion - a play of smoke and mirrors - Dongwoo disappears.
The dream fades to black.
-
Woohyun wakes up to the ringing of his phone and he glares at the sunlight invading through the small gap in his curtains. He rolls over on his side, grabs the phone and stares at the caller ID. He runs his fingers through his tousled hair.
“Hello?” Woohyun’s voice sounds grainy and strange to his own ears.
“Did I wake you up?”
It’s Dongwoo.
Woohyun squeezes his eyes shut, tries to will the migraine away.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Come downstairs. We’ll grab coffee nearby.”
There’s a pause.
“I need to tell you something.”
-
They eat breakfast at the small cafe around the corner from Woohyun’s apartment.
It serves weak coffee - Sungyeol may or may not have called it swill or shameful in the past - and stale bagels but he eats and drinks it all up without a single complaint.
“You’re really hungry, huh?” Dongwoo chuckles.
He breaks his own bagel into half and offers it to Woohyun. Woohyun thanks him promptly and pops it into his mouth.
“So, you wanted to talk.” He says, mouth half full. “Go ahead.”
Dongwoo looks like he doesn’t quite know where to start. He clears his throat.
“Well, I got accepted.” He says. Woohyun frowns.
“What do you mean?”
Dongwoo takes a careful sip of his coffee and continues.
“This university in Canada. They accepted me.” He looks down at his lap. “I’ll be leaving in a month.”
Woohyun’s not sure what to do then. His mind goes blank.
I’m happy for you, Woohyun knows he should say but the words refuse to come.
What he really wants to say is I’ll follow you even if he knows how silly it sounds. I’ll go with you.
It scares him how much he means it.
Just ask me. Ask me and I’ll go, but Dongwoo doesn’t say anything. Why should he? Woohyun thinks.
“I was thinking though, before I leave, that it’d be nice if we could both go camping again.” Dongwoo says, changing the subject.
“You know, just like how we used to way back when we were little kids with our families.” He takes a small bite out of his bagel.
“But just the two of us, of course.”
Woohyun laughs - a funny strangled noise as bitter as the coffee he’s drinking.
“Sure. I’m sure we could do that.”
Dongwoo’s face brightens.
“Next weekend sound good?”
Woohyun grants him a weak nod.
“Next weekend sounds great.”
-
Sunggyu is the best flatmate in the world because when Woohyun comes back from breakfast with Dongwoo, he notices immediately that something’s wrong.
Woohyun sprawls himself across their couch mumbling something akin to my life is over, and Sunggyu grabs him a cold beer from the fridge even if it’s way too early in the day to start drinking.
Sunggyu - true to self - still rolls his eyes and tells him only assholes feel sorry for themselves and you’re being way too overdramatic after Woohyun explains what happened.
“You’re acting as though he just told you he never wants to talk to you or see you again. Dongwoo’s not just going to lose contact with us once he goes to Canada. Friends stop being friends because somewhere along the way someone stops trying. It’s Dongwoo. He’s not going to stop trying.”
Woohyun sighs.
“I know you’re probably right.” Woohyun says. “It’s just. I’m selfish and well. I don’t want to let him leave.”
“Look. Trust me, it’s not like I want to see him go either. A lot of us like you better when you’re with Dongwoo.” Sunggyu says, with a shrug.
“You smile more and you whine a lot less.”
Woohyun shoots him a half-hearted glare.
“I’ll miss him when he’s not here.” Sunggyu says. “All of us will.”
Sunggyu gets up from the couch, pats Woohyun on the shoulder.
“Look, I’m heading out now. Don’t wallow in your sorrows for too long alright? It’s not healthy.”
Sunggyu closes the door behind him with a dull thud.
Woohyun crumples his empty beer can with one hand and tosses it into the bin.
He stares up at the ceiling.
So, now what?
-
Dongwoo shows up outside Woohyun’s apartment the following weekend wearing a ridiculous scarf, an even more ridiculous winter cap - it looks like a baby leopard climbed atop Dongwoo’s head and died there - and a smile too brilliant for five in the morning.
“Good morning!” Dongwoo chirps, almost as loud as his outfit and Woohyun just nods, too tired to do anything else.
Sunggyu drives them to the train-station and they hop on the first ride out of Seoul into the outskirts. Once they reach their stop, they get off and take a bus before they finally reach.
Dongwoo’s entire face lights up by the time they arrive in the evening at the old campsite.
It takes them little over twenty minutes to set up their tent and by the time they’re done, the sky turns dark and they huddle inside.
“It’s been ages since we’ve been here.” Dongwoo shrugs his backpack off his shoulders and stretches his arms, falling back on their laid out sleeping bags.
“How old were we the last time we were here? Eight, nine?”
“More or less.” Woohyun agrees.
“Nothing’s changed at all.”
Some things have, Woohyun muses.
“It feels like my sister is gonna come yelling for us to hurry for dinner anytime now.” Dongwoo beams.
“Or like that one time my dad yelled at us to go to sleep and to stop giggling like a pair of sissy girls.” Woohyun recalls, shaking his head.
Dongwoo almost keels over laughing, clutching at his sides.
“I’ll miss this.” Dongwoo says after he catches his breath and Woohyun ignores that pitiful, pathetic little voice in the back of his head that whispers, Then don’t go.
“I’ll miss you.” Woohyun says, puts on a ridiculous leer and tips Dongwoo’s head up with his hand.
Dongwoo cracks up, like it’s all a huge joke - it is a huge joke, right? - because Dongwoo doesn’t need to know how much Woohyun really means it.
“Seriously, do girls actually buy that?” He sticks his tongue out and makes a show of shivering.
“Chills, man, chills. You’re such a creep,” Dongwoo says, but the smile on his face is warm and affectionate. “I should fear for my virtue.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, and narrows his eyes and attempts to look serious but ends up looking more constipated than anything else.
“You asked for it.” Woohyun mutters. He tackles him to the ground, tickling his waist until Dongwoo cries for mercy on top of their sleeping bags, reduced to a squirming ball of giggles and gasps.
Woohyun stops and pulls back, captivated by the steady rise and fall of Dongwoo’s chest as he tries to catch his breath.
He swallows the lump in his throat.
“I should go and get the fire going.”
Woohyun stumbles out of the tent without another word and takes a few deep breaths trying his best not to think of Dongwoo in situations involving him spread across their sleeping bags.
It doesn’t work out too well.
-
They wake up early in the morning and it takes Woohyun all of ten minutes to get Dongwoo out of bed.
“Go back to sleep.” Dongwoo whines, but Woohyun doesn’t relent.
“Hurry up. The weather’s perfect for a walk right now.” Dongwoo starts to stir, eyes half-closed and hair a mess. He yawns and stretches his arms wide over his head. Woohyun pats him on the butt.
“Come on. Up and at ‘em.” Dongwoo groans.
“This morning walk was your idea.”
“Okay, okay. I’m up, I’m up.”
Thirty minutes later, Dongwoo finds all his usual bounce and energy again when they walk deeper into the woods.
“It’s so beautiful this time of the year.” He says. “Thanks for agreeing to come with me, Woohyun. I don’t think this trip would have been as much fun without you.”
They walk a while longer, wind up small slopes and inclines until they reach a clearing.
“This is the place!” He picks up his pace. “Come on, come on.”
The clearing is quiet, seemingly untouched by men and when they approach its center, a view of the lake and the valley below greets them. A layer of ice covers the lake and snow lines the mountain, lies scattered among the trees.
“A friend of mine told me the view up here would be spectacular.” Dongwoo says. “Spectacular seems like an understatement right now.”
Woohyun stands back in quiet agreement, awed by the scenery.
“I guess we should try and make our way back now.”
“So how do we find our way back?” Woohyun asks.
Dongwoo looks both ways.
“This way.” He says, pointing to the right.
“I think.”
They head in that direction and end up walkng in circles enough times for Woohyun to pick out the same odd boulder they keep coming across and he groans when he sees it appear again.
“It looks like we’re lost.”
“When I said earlier that nothing’s changed, I didn’t think this would happen to us.” Dongwoo looks almost apologetic.
Woohyun crosses his arms, deep in thought before an idea hits him.
“Dongwoo, do you have your phone on you?” He asks.
Dongwoo bites the inside of his cheek. “I do.” He holds it up.
"But there’s no service. Not even a bar." Dongwoo says, staring at his phone.
"I don't think we'll get any reception here strong enough to make a phone call. Not this deep in the woods."
Woohyun sighs.
“No outside help then. We’ll have to figure this out by ourselves.”
"Give me your hand," Woohyun says and he doesn't wait for Dongwoo's permission to grab his wrist, to slip his fingers in between the spaces of Dongwoo's.
“I don’t want us to get separated.”
Dongwoo's cheeks become pink from the cold wind nipping at his face (and maybe something else) and he laughs, all nervous and shy and this is all of what Woohyun will miss, all of what Woohyun's been afraid to lose.
This is all that he's not willing to let go of.
"This is kind of embarrassing. We haven't held hands like this since we were little kids." Dongwoo says, the tips of his red ears peeking out from above his huge scarf.
Woohyun almost melts at the sight.
“Do you remember when we got lost when we were younger? You were crying like a little baby and I had to hold your hand the entire way just so you wouldn't feel scared.”
Woohyun cringes and promptly wants to crawl into a hole.
“You actually remember?”
“Of course I do!”
“You cried too once you saw your family, you know. You wailed.” Woohyun teases back.
“Not as much as you did though.” Dongwoo snickers. "You're not going to cry again, are you?" He pinches his cheek and Woohyun swats his hand away.
“You must think you’re hilarious.” Woohyun deadpans.
Dongwoo nods, his chest swelling with pride.
“Yes, I kind of do.”
“Look, let’s just try and find our way back to the campsite alright?”
-
They’re making their way down a steep slope and it all happens too fast for Woohyun to react in time but Dongwoo slips on a puddle and falls with a loud crash.
There’s a silent moment before Dongwoo starts howling in pain.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Woohyun thinks as he rushes over.
“I-I’m fine.” Dongwoo insists, but the wince in his face betrays him and Woohyun feels like whacking him over his head.
“You’re not fine. Let me take a look.” This situation is horrible and awful and terrifying because Dongwoo is hurt and Woohyun’s got no clue what to do.
He gently presses his fingers to the skin of Dongwoo’s ankle and Dongwoo shuts his eyes, face crumpled in pain. Woohyun sighs.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Dongwoo doesn’t dare look anywhere else but the ground and he speaks so softly Woohyun has to strain himself to hear it.
“Don’t. Look, don’t apologize. It could’ve happened to anyone.” Woohyun forces a smile on his face, forces himself not to panic. “I’m here for you so don’t look so down, okay?” He sobers up. “I don’t think you’re going to be able to walk on that leg though.”
He crouches down on one knee, his back turned to Dongwoo.
“You’re gonna have to hold on tight, alright? I don’t want you slipping.”
Dongwoo’s eyes grow large.
“Look, I can’t just leave you here by yourself like this can I?”
Woohyun’s too stubborn and Dongwoo doesn’t know what to say so it all ends up with Woohyun piggybacking Dongwoo while they try to find their way back.
“This is even more embarrassing.” Dongwoo whines, leaning his forehead on Woohyun’s shoulder.
Woohyun ignores the unsettling butterfly situation going on in his stomach.
“Get over it, I’m not going to put you down.” He says, sounding a little more smug than he should be.
-
They stop to rest when it gets too dark to continue - seeking shelter at the base of a huge, old tree. It’s too cold and wet and Woohyun starts to panic when Dongwoo keeps quiet for too long.
“Dongwoo, are you alright?” Woohyun covers Dongwoo’s forehead with his palm and jumps.
“You’re burning up.” He says and Dongwoo just looks up, eyes bleary and dazed.
“I’ll be fine.” He brushes off and Woohyun’s lips flatten into a thin line of worry. “I’m thirsty, though.”
Woohyun grabs the tumbler from his backpack and hands it to Dongwoo.
“It’s not a lot but you can have all of it okay.” Dongwoo lifts it to his mouth and finishes the rest of it off. He stares - dejected - into the empty bottle.
“Don’t worry. We’ll find our way in no time, promise.” Woohyun assures him.
“You’re hungry, right? I think I have some food here too.”
Dongwoo smiles, watches Woohyun look through his bag for anything edible.
“This time round, you’re the one taking good care of me.” He hands his water bottle back to him.
“Thank you, Woohyun.” Dongwoo rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Something in Woohyun snaps. He drops the bottle on the floor and his face falls.
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” Woohyun’s pretty sure the smile on his face looks like a sad joke. “It’s going to be hard for me.” Woohyun starts, the words refusing to be silenced any longer.
“You know, everyone always leaves. Everyone.” He says, avoiding Dongwoo’s eyes.
And to me, you’re never been just anyone else so I don’t want you to go. Please don’t go. Please stay.
Woohyun wants to say it so badly, it feels like he’s close to throwing up.
“When you leave, I don’t know what I’m going to do."
Dongwoo grabs Woohyun’s wrist.
“It’s not going to be easy for me either, Woohyun.”
Woohyun looks up when he hears the crack in Dongwoo’s voice, hears him choke on his words.
Dongwoo tries to put on a happy face, but his toothy grin and crinkled eyes look out of place - odd and somehow disjointed - when Woohyun notices the tears in Dongwoo’s eyes threatening to fall.
“It’s not going to be easy for me at all.”
Woohyun feels all the resolve within him crumble.
Fuck it, Woohyun thinks and he leans in, pulls Dongwoo close by the collar of his coat and kisses him hard.
Dongwoo gasps into his mouth - this soft, small noise that makes Woohyun’s pulse race and his toes curl - and then his hands, his beautiful, perfect hands, tangle their way into Woohyun’s hair.
His lips are warm and soft and his feverish skin feels like it’s on fire under Woohyun’s hands.
Woohyun breaks away from the kiss, his hands on either side of Dongwoo’s face and he feels his chest heave, feels so out-of-breath almost as though all the air is leaving his lungs.
“I love you. I love you so much that if you ask me right now to just drop everything and follow you to Canada, I would. I want to ask you to stay so badly, but I can’t because you’ve worked so hard for this even though it means I have to say goodbye to you. I love you so much that even if you think it’s too late.”
Woohyun curls his fingers against Dongwoo’s cheek, the smile he’s put on for so long beginning to crack. “Even if you think it’s too late, I wanted to tell you anyway.”
Dongwoo stares at him, incredulous for a few seconds.
“Idiot.” He groans, and he tugs Woohyun down by the end of his scarf and brushes his lips up against his.
Maybe he’s delirious, Woohyun thinks, maybe the fever’s taken over his brain, because Dongwoo is kissing him and it’s real and Woohyun may or may not want to jump up and click his heels and do a stupid dance.
Dongwoo falls back and laughs.
“You know this is the part where you’re supposed to be kissing me back.” Dongwoo says. Woohyun blinks. “Oh, oh. Right.”
Woohyun bends down and obliges.
-
“You know, I’m really happy and all about this but as it stands, we’re still lost in the woods.” Dongwoo points out later.
“At least your fever’s gone down now.” Woohyun says, with genuine relief.
“You’re gonna get pretty exhausted soon if you keep insisting on carrying me around like this though. Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Woohyun flashes a brilliant grin.
“Don’t worry. Right now, I feel invincible. Besides I think luck’s going to be on our side today.” Dongwoo stifles his laugh in Woohyun’s shoulder.
“You know, a week ago when you brought me home and tucked me in, I heard you say something. I didn’t quite catch it though.”
Dongwoo blinks.
“You probably don’t remember though. Maybe it wasn’t anything important.”
“Oh. That.” Dongwoo’s whole face turns red. “It’s nothing.” Woohyun raises an eyebrow.
“Come on, tell me.”
“Do I have to?”
Woohyun pouts.
“Okay, okay. Fine. Stop making that face.” Dongwoo sighs. He mumbles something out.
“What did you say?”
The words come out soft and indistinct.
“Could you say that a little louder please?” He asks and Woohyun’s cheeks are starting to hurt from grinning so hard.
“I said, ‘I don’t want to leave you’, alright?”
Woohyun smirks.
“I don’t think I heard it properly. Could you repeat that?”
Dongwoo ignores him.
“So, that conversation you had with Sunggyu-hyung. Was it about me too?” Woohyun feels Dongwoo stiffen behind him.
“You know, for someone not being able to see straight when you’re drunk you somehow manage to develop superhearing.”
“So what did you say?”
Dongwoo keeps his mouth shut.
“I just.” Dongwoo wavers a little. “I asked Sunggyu-hyung to take care of you for me while I’m away.”
Woohyun doesn’t say anything for a long while.
“So you’re still gonna go, huh?”
Dongwoo’s arms wrap themselves a little tighter around Woohyun’s shoulders.
“Don’t worry. We’ll make it work.” He says. “I promise.”
Woohyun stops walking.
“Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
Woohyun pricks his ears up.
“I think I hear people talking.” He smiles at Dongwoo. “We’re going to be alright.”
-
The people nearby turn out to be a group of students out on a trip together and after the initial confusion and some explanation, they make it back to the campsite with their help.
One of them manages to find a doctor in the nearby town and he takes a quick look at Dongwoo’s leg - “A minor sprain,” Dongwoo says. “Doctor says it’ll heal in no time.” .
Sunggyu’s waiting for them at the train station when they make their way home and Woohyun has never been more relieved to be on the receiving end of Sunggyu’s nagging.
“You guys are idiots. I’m never letting you both run off together for the weekend again. What if nobody found you? What if you guys had starved in the forest? What would I have done then, huh?”
“Sunggyu-hyung,” Dongwoo chokes out, trapped in Sunggyu’s arms. “I can’t breathe.”
“Oh. Sorry about that.” He lets go. “But I’m really just glad you’re fine.”
Woohyun nods. “We’re great. Right now though, I think. We just really want to go home.”
(“Are you guys okay back there?” Sunggyu asks later in the car on the way back from the train station.
He turns around and catches Woohyun smiling at Dongwoo’s sleeping figure - curled up into his side - both of their arms linked with Dongwoo’s head on his shoulder.
Woohyun doesn’t hear the question.
Sunggyu decides to take that as a yes.)
-
A month later, Woohyun is holding Dongwoo’s hand at the airport.
“So, I guess I have to let go of you now.” He says when it’s almost time for Dongwoo to leave.
“I have to leave sooner or later you know.”
“I can’t convince you to stay, can I?” Woohyun’s fingers trace the arch of Dongwoo’s wristbone.
Dongwoo’s cheeks turn a bright shade of red. “You’ve already tried convincing me for the past month, but no. I’m still going.”
Dongwoo glances around once before he plants a quick kiss on Woohyun’s cheek.
“I’ll call you once I arrive, okay?”
Dongwoo walks off then, throws a smile over his shoulder and waves before he disappears into the crowd of people.
Woohyun stares red-faced at the floor.
I miss you already.
-
This song goes out to all the lovers out there on this beautiful Christmas eve-
“Your radio is noisy.” Woohyun snorts. “Also I think that song they just dedicated to us is older than my grandmother.”
“Hey, my grandmother loves this song. Besides, it’s Christmas.” Dongwoo hums along to the old-school crooning coming from the radio.
“Merry Christmas, Woohyun.” He singsongs into the phone.
Woohyun laughs.
“It’d be even merrier if you were here, you know.” Woohyun says.
“It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen you.” He points out.
Dongwoo tucks his knees towards his chest, curls up on his couch.
“I know.” His voice grows quiet. “Trust me, I do.”
Dongwoo doesn’t see it but Woohyun’s expression softens.
“Hey, did you know that the time difference between Canada and Korea is 15 hours?”
A small crease appears in between Dongwoo’s eyebrows.
“Of course I do.”
“Then technically, it isn’t Christmas over there yet, is it?”
“Well no, it isn’t.”
Woohyun chuckles, low in the back of his throat.
“My flight from Seoul to Vancouver will take me just about thirteen hours. I’m eight thousand kilometers away from showing up on your doorstep.”
Eight thousand kilometers away from being with you again, Woohyun thinks.
“I’ll wish you Merry Christmas when I see you in person.”
There’s a pause on the other line. A mumbled you idiot.
“You could’ve told me something earlier.”
“Surprise?” Woohyun tries.
Woohyun hears Dongwoo sigh over the receiver, a fond, exasperated noise.
“Have a safe flight.”
Woohyun looks outside the window, watches the lights of the planes taking off and hitting the tarmac.
His lips curl into a smirk.
“I’ll see you soon.”
-
(“You really are kind of stupidly in love with Dongwoo, aren’t you?” Sunggyu had asked earlier, as he watched Woohyun roll his suitcase out of his bedroom the day of his flight.
Sunggyu’s expression seemed to be an amusing mix of oh god, you’re so besotted it’s disgusting and but you two are my best friends, so I’m happy.
Woohyun had one foot out the door and the brightest smile on his face as he answered without the slightest hint of hesitation.
“Yes, yes i am.”)
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Maps
Pairing/Focus: Woohyun/Dongwoo
Rating: pg-13
Word count: 7716
Summary: Woohyun just wants to be selfish for a little while longer.
wait
they don't love you like i love you
made off
don't stray
my kind's your kind
i'll stay the same
maps ; yeah yeah yeahs
-
We’ll be alright. Don’t be scared.
It’s a child’s voice, indistinct over the rustling and cracking sounds of the dry autumn leaves. There’s the sound of clumsy footsteps squishing into the dirt and mud. There’s the smell of clean, untouched air and the silence of the forest looming overhead.
I’m here, the voice says, trying it’s best to be calm and reassuring.
Then there’s a bright smile - a little kid’s smile - all baby teeth and gums.
You’re not alone.
-
Woohyun wakes up.
He squints in the darkness at the glowing green numbers that flash on the clock on his bedside table.
Way too early, it reads and Woohyun buries his head into his pillow, muffling his groan.
Outside his window, the sky is the colour of ink.
Woohyun doesn’t fall back to sleep.
-
“You look horrible,” Sunggyu says, without a bit of sympathy when Woohyun drags himself out of his bedroom in the morning. Woohyun grunts.
“I feel horrible.” Woohyun agrees.
He lets himself rest the side of his face against the cool marble of the breakfast counter.
Sunggyu pours him his morning cup of coffee and pushes it into his hands.
Woohyun stares into his mug of coffee, frowning at the tired, haggard expression he finds staring back in his reflection.
He drinks it all up, satisfied when he can’t see his exhausted face appear in the cup.
“That dream again?”
Woohyun nods and pushes his cup forward.
“More coffee please.”
-
It’s not so much of a dream as it is a half-remembered memory.
Sunggyu’s the only person Woohyun’s ever told about it, the only person he trusts to keep it a secret.
It’s stupid after all, he thinks.
It’s too sappy, too sentimental and too one-sided - too many of the things Woohyun isn’t - to be the only person remembering things that everyone else has forgotten.
He remembers all the important bits, but over the years the details grow grainy and fuzzy like background noise.
This is what he remembers.
Once upon a time, there had been a little boy named Nam Woohyun and a slightly older - boy named Jang Dongwoo.
He doesn’t remember when he becomes friends with Dongwoo exactly - a shy exchange of hellos at a birthday party? Maybe, Woohyun wasn’t sure - but he remembers running along the river bank with him, chasing dragonflies, catching beetles and doing dumb little kid stuff together.
Their fathers had been best friends and camping had become a tradition between their families.
Woohyun could still recall their fathers laughing their heads off and talking loud enough to wake up the forest, their mothers watching and shaking their heads at them and giggling among themselves.
They’d pitch up their tents the day they arrived, and in the morning after they’d take a hike through the forest trail.
Woohyun’s not too sure how it happened exactly but one summer when Woohyun is about seven or eight, he and Dongwoo get lost in the forest.
He turns around, and then it’s just the two of them.
Two little kids, alone in a sea of trees and everything is suddenly too huge and alien and frightening.
Dongwoo’s barely a year older, not all that much wiser or braver but he sums up all the courage he has in his tiny little body and grabs Woohyun’s hand.
We’ll be alright, Woohyun-ah, don’t be scared.
Woohyun sniffs, wipes his tears away on the back of his arm, tries to put on a brave face.
I’m here for you. Dongwoo squeezes his hand. You’re not alone
They try to find their way for little over an hour before Woohyun tears up again. The little sob he’s been holding back bubbles out of his throat in a hiccup when they reach the same strange formation of rocks.
Woohyun starts sobbing then.
“It’s okay, it’s okay”, Dongwoo soothes, and wraps his skinny arms around Woohyun’s shoulders when his stomach lets out an unhelpful little rumble.
“You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Woohyun asks. Dongwoo shakes his head but his stomach gives him away again and he hangs his head low.
“Mum gave me some biscuits earlier.” Woohyun digs through his jean pockets, fishes out a packet of half-crushed cookies and hands it to Dongwoo. “You can have them.”
“Are you sure?”
Woohyun nods.
“Thank you!” He says, his smile the brightest thing in the forest.
Woohyun’s stomach flutters.
“Don’t worry, Woohyun-ah! We’ll see our mum and dad soon.” He says, wipes away the crumbs scattered around his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I hope so. It’s scary being alone.”
Dongwoo tilts his head, confused.
“I told you already, you’re not alone! I’m here.” He fits his fingers around Woohyun’s as if to prove to him that he was real, holds it up for Woohyun to take a good look. “See?”
“Come on, let’s go find our parents.”
Woohyun thinks Dongwoo’s energy is contagious because he finds the strength to nod he and feels a little better inside.
They walk through the forest for as far and as long as their short legs can go.
They end up walking for hours before they come across another couple hiking together - a man and his wife bewildered to see two children wandering around by themselves.
They guide them both back to the campsite and Woohyun doesn’t expect it at all when Dongwoo - Dongwoo who tried his best to be brave and strong and cheerful enough for the both of them -bursts into tears as soon as he sees his mother again.
Their parents scold them and hug them and Dongwoo’s mother is going I’m never letting you out of my sight again and I don’t know what I’ve have done if something had happened to you.
Later in the car ride home, Dongwoo sits next to Woohyun.
“I promised you, didn't I? Things would turn out okay.” He says.
“Thanks.” Woohyun says.
Dongwoo shakes his head.
“No problem! We’re friends right? We’re supposed to be there for each other.” He says, like it’s the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it is.
“All that walking today made me sleepy though.” He says and his eyes start to close. Before Woohyun knows it, Dongwoo falls asleep on his shoulder.
(Dongwoo’s older sister takes a photo of them in that moment and the photograph hangs in the main hall of Dongwoo’s house in a pretty wooden frame. Despite Dongwoo’s repeated requests to take it down because if I bring girls home they don’t need to see a little kid photo of me drooling on Woohyun’s shoulder, it hangs proudly for all to see.
It’s a secret but whenever Woohyun visits and he sees the photo, he can’t help but smile to himself.)
After that incident, not-too-surprisingly, Dongwoo and Woohyun’s families stop going camping.
-
As the seasons change, so do they.
Years pass and Woohyun starts to fill into his gangly arms and limbs. One day Dongwoo dyes his hair an obnoxious shade of red in an adolescent act of rebellion and like all boys do, they grow up.
Somehow though they find a way to stay friends.
Woohyun dates one girl all the way through high school.
She has long hair that she keeps in a neat little braid, skin as pale as the moon, the prettiest set of legs in their class and the curve of the delicate set of her pink cupid bow lips drive (shouldn’t have an s, i think?) all the boys crazy.
She leaves aside a few treats for him that she’d bake in her home economics class wrapped in a handkerchief, attends all his track meets with the brightest smile on her face cheering him on until she lost her voice and lingers by the school gate after the last bell every day to walk home together.
She’s smart and funny and runs fast enough to send their track team to the regional championships.
She’s everything a high school sweetheart ought to be.
She finds out about her scholarship - all fees and expenses paid to a prestigious school in a city miles away - a week after they graduate.
The first person she tells is Woohyun.
Come with me, she pleads over the phone when she gets the news. There’s something urgent in her voice, almost desperate. Please.
I’ll go, Woohyun thinks, his ear pressed to the receiver, is what she probably wants to hear most.
Woohyun is calm and cool on the other line when he tells her however, plain and simple: we need to talk.
Their relationship - years of midnight calls, Valentines’ Day chocolates and shy kisses in secluded areas of the library (cause you won’t really kiss in public right, lol) - ends a few days later with a slap across Woohyun’s cheek in an empty classroom after school.
She tears up - Woohyun thinks he hears a half-mumbled, half-sobbed I hate you - and runs away.
Woohyun doesn’t apologize.
(He doesn’t go after her either)
He shows up later at Dongwoo’s house, the side of his face still pink and burning.
Dongwoo doesn’t ask any questions and lets him in.
“It’s such a shame,” Dongwoo says as he presses a pack of meat he steals from his freezer to Woohyun’s cheek.
Woohyun sighs at the cool relief.
“What is?”
“You and your girlfriend. You guys have been together for so long. I never expected this.”
Woohyun stays silent. He raises his hand and curls his fingers into the crook of Dongwoo’s arm.
“What would you have done if I had followed her?” He smirks. “What would you have done if I’d left with her?”
Woohyun waits a few heartbeats, smiles when Dongwoo fidgets a little, looks away and rubs the back of his neck.
“I guess I’d understand.” He says, avoiding Woohyun’s eyes. “I mean, if you really love someone it would only make sense to go after them if they leave right?” He grins.
“It doesn’t seem logical to drop everything to go after one person but it’d be worth it, I’m sure.”
Woohyun runs a nervous hand through his hair.
“It’d be weird not having you around though.” He bites his lip. “I guess I’m kind of relieved. That’s selfish of me, isn’t it?” He laughs.
When Woohyun goes back home that night, he dreams of the two of them in the forest.
He dreams for the first time - his subconscious pulling forth the blurry memory, blows the dust off of it - of Dongwoo’s shirt damp with his tears and snot and the familiar warmth of Dongwoo’s hand in his.
He wakes up and realizes if Dongwoo was ever the one to leave, if Dongwoo was the one to ask, the answer would always, could only be just yes.
Woohyun wouldn’t know how to say otherwise.
(“You really are kind of stupidly in love with this Dongwoo guy, aren’t you?” Sunggyu asked, the first time Woohyun told him the story, the day Sunggyu becomes his flatmate and they chat over drinks.
Sunggyu’s expression seemed grave and sorry in the dim bar lights but Woohyun’s vision was too skewed from the alchohol and it was too dark to be certain.
So maybe Woohyun was just a little too drunk to care at the time, so he slurred, “Yes. Yes I am.”)
-
There’s a knock on the door as soon as Sunggyu pours him more coffee.
Woohyun goes to open it. He finds his girlfriend standing on the other side.
“I’m sorry to drop by like this unannounced.” She says. “We need to talk.”
Woohyun can tell what’s coming.
“Not here though.” She says, chances a glance at Sunggyu over Woohyun’s shoulder. Sunggyu gets the hint and leaves the room.
Woohyun grabs the nearest coat from the rack.
“Let’s go.” He says.
-
Woohyun knows all too well how this goes down.
He’s lost count how many times he’s found himself in this same situation.
They’re in a nice enough restaurant. Not too formal, not too casual. A jacket might have been a little too much in this kind of place.
The girl sitting in the chair across from him dabs at the corner of her cherry red lips with her napkin.
She’s pretty and long-haired - they all are - with skin the colour of paper. She places the napkin next to her plate and clasps her hands together, a crease in her forehead when her eyebrows meet.
“I think we should break up.”
Woohyun wears his smirk like he would an old, comfortable pair of worn-out sneakers.
“I agree.” He says. He always does, when it comes down to this.
(It always comes down to this)
He pulls out his wallet, places a few bills on the table.
“I think this should just about cover our lunch.” He says. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around.”
He moves to stand up from the table because prolonging this non-date and this entire conversation would just become painfully awkward and he’s ready to leave when she grabs his wrist.
Woohyun frowns at the hand pulling him back.
“I’m not done yet.” She says.
Woohyun sits back down.
“You should say what you want to say.” He says.
He offers her a kind smile. She stares at the plate in front of her, words soft when she speaks.
“You don’t see anyone but him, do you? He’ll always be what’s most precious to you.”
Woohyun freezes in his seat.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” She shakes her head. “Never mind. I don’t need an answer to know that it’s true.” She tucks a lock of hair behind the shell of her ear. “Your face says enough.”
“You look at him differently from the way you look at everyone else, you know?” She laughs.“If you’re worried, don’t be. It’s not that obvious. It was to me only because I was always looking at you.”
Woohyun searches for the right words to say, and when nothing really seems to fit, he manages an “I’m sorry”.
“Sorry about what?” She asks, a trace of bitterness in her voice.
“You really loved me, didn’t you?”
She looks down at her lap.
“I really did.” She starts crying then, hastily wiping the tear that rolls down her cheek.
Woohyun gets up from his seat, places a gentle hand on her shoulder and presses his lips to her forehead.
The words I’m sorry I couldn’t love you as much as you deserved, sound too cruel.
“Thank you for everything.” He says instead.
-
Lee Sungyeol has been friends with Woohyun ever since they met in college. He’s tall, lanky and his eyes sparkle whenever he conceives some brilliant prank.
They become sort-of accomplices when both of them decide to pull a prank on their new lecturer - a balding, middle-aged man (‘Pervert,’ Sungyeol would correct) who squawks when he’s angry and ogles at all the pretty young girls in his class.
Woohyun trips him by the door with a casual oops and Sungyeol pours vinegar into his coffee and the mutual look of respect they exchange after marks the start of a wonderful friendship.
“You ever have any problems, just give me a call or leave me a message.” Sungyeol says, shortly after they get to know each other. “We’ll go out and do something crazy.”
After Woohyun walks out of the restaurant, he takes out his phone and looks Sungyeol’s name up in his contacts.
He types his message in a rush and hits send.
To: Sungyeol
From: Woohyun
Sungyeol-ah, let’s go out tonight. I need a drink.
To: Sungyeol
From: Woohyun
A lot of drinks.
-
Woohyun is bent over the curb outside the club trying to puke his guts out when Dongwoo’s scuffed-up sneakers - and the ends of his ratty jeans appear in his line of sight. Woohyun looks up, dazed.
“Sungyeol called me.” Dongwoo explains, when he sees how puzzled Woohyun is.
Well, that’s just unfair, Woohyun thinks but his thoughts get cut off by the awful pounding in his head and the overwhelming urge he has to hurl.
He dry heaves over the sidewalk, and Dongwoo gives him a few pats on the back.
I look and feel like crap and you shouldn’t have to be here taking care of me. He thinks he says it aloud by accident because Dongwoo’s shoulders shake with mirth.
“Don’t be silly. You’re one of my oldest friends.” His hand lands on Woohyun’s shoulder. “I know you’d do the same for me.”
In a heartbeat, Woohyun thinks.
The strong wave of nausea returns a moment after.
Dongwoo spares him a look of concern, reaches out towards him, his fingertips warm against his hairline. Woohyun leans into his touch.
“It’s been a while since Sungyeol’s called me to pick you up from here. I haven’t seen you this wasted in ages. What would your girlfriend think?” Dongwoo asks, as he helps Woohyun up into the passenger seat of his car.
Woohyun snorts.
“She really doesn’t have to think anything, seeing as how we just broke up.” Dongwoo stops in the middle of fastening his seatbelt.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” He says. Woohyun wants to tell him, don’t be. “That’s too bad. I really liked her. She was nice.”
Woohyun stares out the window, at the empty suburban night streets.
“You’re nicer.”
The corners of Dongwoo’s mouth twitches.
“Yeah, well I’m not your girlfriend, am I?” He grins at Woohyun. “So what happened?”
“It’s nothing you should worry about.” Woohyun says.
He puts on a smile, I’m alright, look, I’m fine, he hope it says. It’s a weak attempt at brushing off Dongwoo’s worries.
“Besides, all I really need is you.”
Dongwoo gives him a long look but before Woohyun can figure out what he’s thinking, the light turns green and he turns back towards the road, shoulders tense.
Woohyun stares at him.
“Is something wrong?”
Dongwoo turns in at the next junction, eyes locked on the road.
“Nothing’s wrong. You don’t have to look so serious.” Dongwoo shrugs his question off. His voice isn’t angry - it never is - but it’s not much of nothing either.
“We’re almost at your apartment.” The rest of the drive down the road is quiet and wordless. Dongwoo pulls over in front of Woohyun’s building, twists the key out of the ignition and undoes his seat belt.
“Come on. I’ll walk you up.”
-
The flat’s quiet when they walk in and Dongwoo gropes around in the dark for the light switch.
“I guess Sunggyu-hyung’s not at home, huh.” Dongwoo bites his lip. “I don’t think I should leave you alone just yet.”
“Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself.” Woohyun says just as he almost trips on the rug laid out in the hall. “After all, I am the amazing Nam Woohyun.
Dongwoo shakes his head and helps him up and into his bedroom. Woohyun falls onto his bed, and buries his head into his soft mattress.
Dongwoo snickers, sits on the edge of the bed and ruffles Woohyun’s hair.
He mutters something but it’s too indistinct - like someone trying to yell from a great distance - for Woohyun to make it out.
The warm hand in his hair disappears shortly after - Woohyun hears the front door opening, Oh, Sunggyu-hyung’s home - he makes out a short muffled conversation coming from the other room and then the apartment falls into silence and he loses himself to sleep.
-
Woohyun has the dream again but it’s different somehow from all the others.
It’s painted in colours more vivid and sharp, like an old cartoon remastered in technicolour television.
You’re not alone, the little boy in his dream says, conviction in his gap-toothed grin and the set of his shoulders then the image blurs, warps and distorts into something else.
The vision of boy Dongwoo in his oversized white cotton shirt changes to the present Dongwoo.
Black hair turns the colour of caramel, the childish roundness of his face carved away to reveal sharp lines and angles.
He takes a few steps back, lifts the corners of his lips and shows off all his teeth.
I’m sorry. But I have to go now.
Almost like an illusion - a play of smoke and mirrors - Dongwoo disappears.
The dream fades to black.
-
Woohyun wakes up to the ringing of his phone and he glares at the sunlight invading through the small gap in his curtains. He rolls over on his side, grabs the phone and stares at the caller ID. He runs his fingers through his tousled hair.
“Hello?” Woohyun’s voice sounds grainy and strange to his own ears.
“Did I wake you up?”
It’s Dongwoo.
Woohyun squeezes his eyes shut, tries to will the migraine away.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Come downstairs. We’ll grab coffee nearby.”
There’s a pause.
“I need to tell you something.”
-
They eat breakfast at the small cafe around the corner from Woohyun’s apartment.
It serves weak coffee - Sungyeol may or may not have called it swill or shameful in the past - and stale bagels but he eats and drinks it all up without a single complaint.
“You’re really hungry, huh?” Dongwoo chuckles.
He breaks his own bagel into half and offers it to Woohyun. Woohyun thanks him promptly and pops it into his mouth.
“So, you wanted to talk.” He says, mouth half full. “Go ahead.”
Dongwoo looks like he doesn’t quite know where to start. He clears his throat.
“Well, I got accepted.” He says. Woohyun frowns.
“What do you mean?”
Dongwoo takes a careful sip of his coffee and continues.
“This university in Canada. They accepted me.” He looks down at his lap. “I’ll be leaving in a month.”
Woohyun’s not sure what to do then. His mind goes blank.
I’m happy for you, Woohyun knows he should say but the words refuse to come.
What he really wants to say is I’ll follow you even if he knows how silly it sounds. I’ll go with you.
It scares him how much he means it.
Just ask me. Ask me and I’ll go, but Dongwoo doesn’t say anything. Why should he? Woohyun thinks.
“I was thinking though, before I leave, that it’d be nice if we could both go camping again.” Dongwoo says, changing the subject.
“You know, just like how we used to way back when we were little kids with our families.” He takes a small bite out of his bagel.
“But just the two of us, of course.”
Woohyun laughs - a funny strangled noise as bitter as the coffee he’s drinking.
“Sure. I’m sure we could do that.”
Dongwoo’s face brightens.
“Next weekend sound good?”
Woohyun grants him a weak nod.
“Next weekend sounds great.”
-
Sunggyu is the best flatmate in the world because when Woohyun comes back from breakfast with Dongwoo, he notices immediately that something’s wrong.
Woohyun sprawls himself across their couch mumbling something akin to my life is over, and Sunggyu grabs him a cold beer from the fridge even if it’s way too early in the day to start drinking.
Sunggyu - true to self - still rolls his eyes and tells him only assholes feel sorry for themselves and you’re being way too overdramatic after Woohyun explains what happened.
“You’re acting as though he just told you he never wants to talk to you or see you again. Dongwoo’s not just going to lose contact with us once he goes to Canada. Friends stop being friends because somewhere along the way someone stops trying. It’s Dongwoo. He’s not going to stop trying.”
Woohyun sighs.
“I know you’re probably right.” Woohyun says. “It’s just. I’m selfish and well. I don’t want to let him leave.”
“Look. Trust me, it’s not like I want to see him go either. A lot of us like you better when you’re with Dongwoo.” Sunggyu says, with a shrug.
“You smile more and you whine a lot less.”
Woohyun shoots him a half-hearted glare.
“I’ll miss him when he’s not here.” Sunggyu says. “All of us will.”
Sunggyu gets up from the couch, pats Woohyun on the shoulder.
“Look, I’m heading out now. Don’t wallow in your sorrows for too long alright? It’s not healthy.”
Sunggyu closes the door behind him with a dull thud.
Woohyun crumples his empty beer can with one hand and tosses it into the bin.
He stares up at the ceiling.
So, now what?
-
Dongwoo shows up outside Woohyun’s apartment the following weekend wearing a ridiculous scarf, an even more ridiculous winter cap - it looks like a baby leopard climbed atop Dongwoo’s head and died there - and a smile too brilliant for five in the morning.
“Good morning!” Dongwoo chirps, almost as loud as his outfit and Woohyun just nods, too tired to do anything else.
Sunggyu drives them to the train-station and they hop on the first ride out of Seoul into the outskirts. Once they reach their stop, they get off and take a bus before they finally reach.
Dongwoo’s entire face lights up by the time they arrive in the evening at the old campsite.
It takes them little over twenty minutes to set up their tent and by the time they’re done, the sky turns dark and they huddle inside.
“It’s been ages since we’ve been here.” Dongwoo shrugs his backpack off his shoulders and stretches his arms, falling back on their laid out sleeping bags.
“How old were we the last time we were here? Eight, nine?”
“More or less.” Woohyun agrees.
“Nothing’s changed at all.”
Some things have, Woohyun muses.
“It feels like my sister is gonna come yelling for us to hurry for dinner anytime now.” Dongwoo beams.
“Or like that one time my dad yelled at us to go to sleep and to stop giggling like a pair of sissy girls.” Woohyun recalls, shaking his head.
Dongwoo almost keels over laughing, clutching at his sides.
“I’ll miss this.” Dongwoo says after he catches his breath and Woohyun ignores that pitiful, pathetic little voice in the back of his head that whispers, Then don’t go.
“I’ll miss you.” Woohyun says, puts on a ridiculous leer and tips Dongwoo’s head up with his hand.
Dongwoo cracks up, like it’s all a huge joke - it is a huge joke, right? - because Dongwoo doesn’t need to know how much Woohyun really means it.
“Seriously, do girls actually buy that?” He sticks his tongue out and makes a show of shivering.
“Chills, man, chills. You’re such a creep,” Dongwoo says, but the smile on his face is warm and affectionate. “I should fear for my virtue.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, and narrows his eyes and attempts to look serious but ends up looking more constipated than anything else.
“You asked for it.” Woohyun mutters. He tackles him to the ground, tickling his waist until Dongwoo cries for mercy on top of their sleeping bags, reduced to a squirming ball of giggles and gasps.
Woohyun stops and pulls back, captivated by the steady rise and fall of Dongwoo’s chest as he tries to catch his breath.
He swallows the lump in his throat.
“I should go and get the fire going.”
Woohyun stumbles out of the tent without another word and takes a few deep breaths trying his best not to think of Dongwoo in situations involving him spread across their sleeping bags.
It doesn’t work out too well.
-
They wake up early in the morning and it takes Woohyun all of ten minutes to get Dongwoo out of bed.
“Go back to sleep.” Dongwoo whines, but Woohyun doesn’t relent.
“Hurry up. The weather’s perfect for a walk right now.” Dongwoo starts to stir, eyes half-closed and hair a mess. He yawns and stretches his arms wide over his head. Woohyun pats him on the butt.
“Come on. Up and at ‘em.” Dongwoo groans.
“This morning walk was your idea.”
“Okay, okay. I’m up, I’m up.”
Thirty minutes later, Dongwoo finds all his usual bounce and energy again when they walk deeper into the woods.
“It’s so beautiful this time of the year.” He says. “Thanks for agreeing to come with me, Woohyun. I don’t think this trip would have been as much fun without you.”
They walk a while longer, wind up small slopes and inclines until they reach a clearing.
“This is the place!” He picks up his pace. “Come on, come on.”
The clearing is quiet, seemingly untouched by men and when they approach its center, a view of the lake and the valley below greets them. A layer of ice covers the lake and snow lines the mountain, lies scattered among the trees.
“A friend of mine told me the view up here would be spectacular.” Dongwoo says. “Spectacular seems like an understatement right now.”
Woohyun stands back in quiet agreement, awed by the scenery.
“I guess we should try and make our way back now.”
“So how do we find our way back?” Woohyun asks.
Dongwoo looks both ways.
“This way.” He says, pointing to the right.
“I think.”
They head in that direction and end up walkng in circles enough times for Woohyun to pick out the same odd boulder they keep coming across and he groans when he sees it appear again.
“It looks like we’re lost.”
“When I said earlier that nothing’s changed, I didn’t think this would happen to us.” Dongwoo looks almost apologetic.
Woohyun crosses his arms, deep in thought before an idea hits him.
“Dongwoo, do you have your phone on you?” He asks.
Dongwoo bites the inside of his cheek. “I do.” He holds it up.
"But there’s no service. Not even a bar." Dongwoo says, staring at his phone.
"I don't think we'll get any reception here strong enough to make a phone call. Not this deep in the woods."
Woohyun sighs.
“No outside help then. We’ll have to figure this out by ourselves.”
"Give me your hand," Woohyun says and he doesn't wait for Dongwoo's permission to grab his wrist, to slip his fingers in between the spaces of Dongwoo's.
“I don’t want us to get separated.”
Dongwoo's cheeks become pink from the cold wind nipping at his face (and maybe something else) and he laughs, all nervous and shy and this is all of what Woohyun will miss, all of what Woohyun's been afraid to lose.
This is all that he's not willing to let go of.
"This is kind of embarrassing. We haven't held hands like this since we were little kids." Dongwoo says, the tips of his red ears peeking out from above his huge scarf.
Woohyun almost melts at the sight.
“Do you remember when we got lost when we were younger? You were crying like a little baby and I had to hold your hand the entire way just so you wouldn't feel scared.”
Woohyun cringes and promptly wants to crawl into a hole.
“You actually remember?”
“Of course I do!”
“You cried too once you saw your family, you know. You wailed.” Woohyun teases back.
“Not as much as you did though.” Dongwoo snickers. "You're not going to cry again, are you?" He pinches his cheek and Woohyun swats his hand away.
“You must think you’re hilarious.” Woohyun deadpans.
Dongwoo nods, his chest swelling with pride.
“Yes, I kind of do.”
“Look, let’s just try and find our way back to the campsite alright?”
-
They’re making their way down a steep slope and it all happens too fast for Woohyun to react in time but Dongwoo slips on a puddle and falls with a loud crash.
There’s a silent moment before Dongwoo starts howling in pain.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Woohyun thinks as he rushes over.
“I-I’m fine.” Dongwoo insists, but the wince in his face betrays him and Woohyun feels like whacking him over his head.
“You’re not fine. Let me take a look.” This situation is horrible and awful and terrifying because Dongwoo is hurt and Woohyun’s got no clue what to do.
He gently presses his fingers to the skin of Dongwoo’s ankle and Dongwoo shuts his eyes, face crumpled in pain. Woohyun sighs.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” Dongwoo doesn’t dare look anywhere else but the ground and he speaks so softly Woohyun has to strain himself to hear it.
“Don’t. Look, don’t apologize. It could’ve happened to anyone.” Woohyun forces a smile on his face, forces himself not to panic. “I’m here for you so don’t look so down, okay?” He sobers up. “I don’t think you’re going to be able to walk on that leg though.”
He crouches down on one knee, his back turned to Dongwoo.
“You’re gonna have to hold on tight, alright? I don’t want you slipping.”
Dongwoo’s eyes grow large.
“Look, I can’t just leave you here by yourself like this can I?”
Woohyun’s too stubborn and Dongwoo doesn’t know what to say so it all ends up with Woohyun piggybacking Dongwoo while they try to find their way back.
“This is even more embarrassing.” Dongwoo whines, leaning his forehead on Woohyun’s shoulder.
Woohyun ignores the unsettling butterfly situation going on in his stomach.
“Get over it, I’m not going to put you down.” He says, sounding a little more smug than he should be.
-
They stop to rest when it gets too dark to continue - seeking shelter at the base of a huge, old tree. It’s too cold and wet and Woohyun starts to panic when Dongwoo keeps quiet for too long.
“Dongwoo, are you alright?” Woohyun covers Dongwoo’s forehead with his palm and jumps.
“You’re burning up.” He says and Dongwoo just looks up, eyes bleary and dazed.
“I’ll be fine.” He brushes off and Woohyun’s lips flatten into a thin line of worry. “I’m thirsty, though.”
Woohyun grabs the tumbler from his backpack and hands it to Dongwoo.
“It’s not a lot but you can have all of it okay.” Dongwoo lifts it to his mouth and finishes the rest of it off. He stares - dejected - into the empty bottle.
“Don’t worry. We’ll find our way in no time, promise.” Woohyun assures him.
“You’re hungry, right? I think I have some food here too.”
Dongwoo smiles, watches Woohyun look through his bag for anything edible.
“This time round, you’re the one taking good care of me.” He hands his water bottle back to him.
“Thank you, Woohyun.” Dongwoo rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Something in Woohyun snaps. He drops the bottle on the floor and his face falls.
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” Woohyun’s pretty sure the smile on his face looks like a sad joke. “It’s going to be hard for me.” Woohyun starts, the words refusing to be silenced any longer.
“You know, everyone always leaves. Everyone.” He says, avoiding Dongwoo’s eyes.
And to me, you’re never been just anyone else so I don’t want you to go. Please don’t go. Please stay.
Woohyun wants to say it so badly, it feels like he’s close to throwing up.
“When you leave, I don’t know what I’m going to do."
Dongwoo grabs Woohyun’s wrist.
“It’s not going to be easy for me either, Woohyun.”
Woohyun looks up when he hears the crack in Dongwoo’s voice, hears him choke on his words.
Dongwoo tries to put on a happy face, but his toothy grin and crinkled eyes look out of place - odd and somehow disjointed - when Woohyun notices the tears in Dongwoo’s eyes threatening to fall.
“It’s not going to be easy for me at all.”
Woohyun feels all the resolve within him crumble.
Fuck it, Woohyun thinks and he leans in, pulls Dongwoo close by the collar of his coat and kisses him hard.
Dongwoo gasps into his mouth - this soft, small noise that makes Woohyun’s pulse race and his toes curl - and then his hands, his beautiful, perfect hands, tangle their way into Woohyun’s hair.
His lips are warm and soft and his feverish skin feels like it’s on fire under Woohyun’s hands.
Woohyun breaks away from the kiss, his hands on either side of Dongwoo’s face and he feels his chest heave, feels so out-of-breath almost as though all the air is leaving his lungs.
“I love you. I love you so much that if you ask me right now to just drop everything and follow you to Canada, I would. I want to ask you to stay so badly, but I can’t because you’ve worked so hard for this even though it means I have to say goodbye to you. I love you so much that even if you think it’s too late.”
Woohyun curls his fingers against Dongwoo’s cheek, the smile he’s put on for so long beginning to crack. “Even if you think it’s too late, I wanted to tell you anyway.”
Dongwoo stares at him, incredulous for a few seconds.
“Idiot.” He groans, and he tugs Woohyun down by the end of his scarf and brushes his lips up against his.
Maybe he’s delirious, Woohyun thinks, maybe the fever’s taken over his brain, because Dongwoo is kissing him and it’s real and Woohyun may or may not want to jump up and click his heels and do a stupid dance.
Dongwoo falls back and laughs.
“You know this is the part where you’re supposed to be kissing me back.” Dongwoo says. Woohyun blinks. “Oh, oh. Right.”
Woohyun bends down and obliges.
-
“You know, I’m really happy and all about this but as it stands, we’re still lost in the woods.” Dongwoo points out later.
“At least your fever’s gone down now.” Woohyun says, with genuine relief.
“You’re gonna get pretty exhausted soon if you keep insisting on carrying me around like this though. Are you sure you’ll be alright?”
Woohyun flashes a brilliant grin.
“Don’t worry. Right now, I feel invincible. Besides I think luck’s going to be on our side today.” Dongwoo stifles his laugh in Woohyun’s shoulder.
“You know, a week ago when you brought me home and tucked me in, I heard you say something. I didn’t quite catch it though.”
Dongwoo blinks.
“You probably don’t remember though. Maybe it wasn’t anything important.”
“Oh. That.” Dongwoo’s whole face turns red. “It’s nothing.” Woohyun raises an eyebrow.
“Come on, tell me.”
“Do I have to?”
Woohyun pouts.
“Okay, okay. Fine. Stop making that face.” Dongwoo sighs. He mumbles something out.
“What did you say?”
The words come out soft and indistinct.
“Could you say that a little louder please?” He asks and Woohyun’s cheeks are starting to hurt from grinning so hard.
“I said, ‘I don’t want to leave you’, alright?”
Woohyun smirks.
“I don’t think I heard it properly. Could you repeat that?”
Dongwoo ignores him.
“So, that conversation you had with Sunggyu-hyung. Was it about me too?” Woohyun feels Dongwoo stiffen behind him.
“You know, for someone not being able to see straight when you’re drunk you somehow manage to develop superhearing.”
“So what did you say?”
Dongwoo keeps his mouth shut.
“I just.” Dongwoo wavers a little. “I asked Sunggyu-hyung to take care of you for me while I’m away.”
Woohyun doesn’t say anything for a long while.
“So you’re still gonna go, huh?”
Dongwoo’s arms wrap themselves a little tighter around Woohyun’s shoulders.
“Don’t worry. We’ll make it work.” He says. “I promise.”
Woohyun stops walking.
“Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
Woohyun pricks his ears up.
“I think I hear people talking.” He smiles at Dongwoo. “We’re going to be alright.”
-
The people nearby turn out to be a group of students out on a trip together and after the initial confusion and some explanation, they make it back to the campsite with their help.
One of them manages to find a doctor in the nearby town and he takes a quick look at Dongwoo’s leg - “A minor sprain,” Dongwoo says. “Doctor says it’ll heal in no time.” .
Sunggyu’s waiting for them at the train station when they make their way home and Woohyun has never been more relieved to be on the receiving end of Sunggyu’s nagging.
“You guys are idiots. I’m never letting you both run off together for the weekend again. What if nobody found you? What if you guys had starved in the forest? What would I have done then, huh?”
“Sunggyu-hyung,” Dongwoo chokes out, trapped in Sunggyu’s arms. “I can’t breathe.”
“Oh. Sorry about that.” He lets go. “But I’m really just glad you’re fine.”
Woohyun nods. “We’re great. Right now though, I think. We just really want to go home.”
(“Are you guys okay back there?” Sunggyu asks later in the car on the way back from the train station.
He turns around and catches Woohyun smiling at Dongwoo’s sleeping figure - curled up into his side - both of their arms linked with Dongwoo’s head on his shoulder.
Woohyun doesn’t hear the question.
Sunggyu decides to take that as a yes.)
-
A month later, Woohyun is holding Dongwoo’s hand at the airport.
“So, I guess I have to let go of you now.” He says when it’s almost time for Dongwoo to leave.
“I have to leave sooner or later you know.”
“I can’t convince you to stay, can I?” Woohyun’s fingers trace the arch of Dongwoo’s wristbone.
Dongwoo’s cheeks turn a bright shade of red. “You’ve already tried convincing me for the past month, but no. I’m still going.”
Dongwoo glances around once before he plants a quick kiss on Woohyun’s cheek.
“I’ll call you once I arrive, okay?”
Dongwoo walks off then, throws a smile over his shoulder and waves before he disappears into the crowd of people.
Woohyun stares red-faced at the floor.
I miss you already.
-
This song goes out to all the lovers out there on this beautiful Christmas eve-
“Your radio is noisy.” Woohyun snorts. “Also I think that song they just dedicated to us is older than my grandmother.”
“Hey, my grandmother loves this song. Besides, it’s Christmas.” Dongwoo hums along to the old-school crooning coming from the radio.
“Merry Christmas, Woohyun.” He singsongs into the phone.
Woohyun laughs.
“It’d be even merrier if you were here, you know.” Woohyun says.
“It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen you.” He points out.
Dongwoo tucks his knees towards his chest, curls up on his couch.
“I know.” His voice grows quiet. “Trust me, I do.”
Dongwoo doesn’t see it but Woohyun’s expression softens.
“Hey, did you know that the time difference between Canada and Korea is 15 hours?”
A small crease appears in between Dongwoo’s eyebrows.
“Of course I do.”
“Then technically, it isn’t Christmas over there yet, is it?”
“Well no, it isn’t.”
Woohyun chuckles, low in the back of his throat.
“My flight from Seoul to Vancouver will take me just about thirteen hours. I’m eight thousand kilometers away from showing up on your doorstep.”
Eight thousand kilometers away from being with you again, Woohyun thinks.
“I’ll wish you Merry Christmas when I see you in person.”
There’s a pause on the other line. A mumbled you idiot.
“You could’ve told me something earlier.”
“Surprise?” Woohyun tries.
Woohyun hears Dongwoo sigh over the receiver, a fond, exasperated noise.
“Have a safe flight.”
Woohyun looks outside the window, watches the lights of the planes taking off and hitting the tarmac.
His lips curl into a smirk.
“I’ll see you soon.”
-
(“You really are kind of stupidly in love with Dongwoo, aren’t you?” Sunggyu had asked earlier, as he watched Woohyun roll his suitcase out of his bedroom the day of his flight.
Sunggyu’s expression seemed to be an amusing mix of oh god, you’re so besotted it’s disgusting and but you two are my best friends, so I’m happy.
Woohyun had one foot out the door and the brightest smile on his face as he answered without the slightest hint of hesitation.
“Yes, yes i am.”)