Supernatural: Half a World Away [Part 1/2; Cradlesong!Verse Timestamp]
Title: Half a World Away
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean/Jess
Genre: Angst/Smut/Drama
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content and Language
Word Count: 11,637
Author’s Note: This is an extension of my Cradlesong verse, which was written for polybigbang. This is for scorpiod1 for her birthday (which was MONTHS ago, so I guess we should just call it a holiday present). Baby Cactus, during one of my spams you said you wanted to see what happened during Season 1 when Sam was having his nightmares and Jess and Dean were worried about him, and I wanted to tell the story of how they got together finally, because I had it in my head and it wasn’t as easy as it seems like it will be from the Pilot, but I didn’t have time to write it into the actual story. Title is taken from a line from the Rob Thomas song Cradlesong for which the entire verse is named (it’s the one you said you liked for a title for the whole fic, but I thought it fit better for this and since you said you liked it anyway…^_^). I was supposed to keep this to 10K so it would fit in one post. I clearly really fucking suck at that game. Beta’d in ONE DAY by waterofthemoon who is SERIOUSLY FUCKING AMAZING and possibly magical (JUPITER OR BUST!!).
Summary: AU Cradlesong!Verse: Dean is still reluctant to join in Sam and Jess’s relationship, until Sam begins having dangerous nightmares that draw the three of them together once and for all. (Season 1, takes place between the Pilot and Part One)
Back to Masterpost ∴ Back to Pilot
The night they decide to leave Stanford behind, Dean fucks Jess for the first time.
It’s Sam’s idea. He tugs them towards the bed, begging them to. He says he wants to see everything he got back that night-both the people he was supposed to have lost, together and whole. Jess certainly doesn’t have any complaints about it, and Dean…Dean seems to be on autopilot by that point.
She thinks this means the beginning of something, that Dean is over being ashamed of how he feels about his brother-after all, they’ve kissed a few times already, and Sam’s watched Dean doing things brothers are definitely not supposed to want to see. Dean’s let him. She thinks whatever boundaries they ever had are finally gone. But she doesn’t know Dean, and she’s wrong.
_______________________________________________________________
They don’t leave Palo Alto immediately. Sam is convinced there will be clues, Dean is convinced Sam or Jess or both of them will change their mind about wanting to leave. Jess admits that she doesn’t know enough about hunting to have an input about whether the thing that attacked her will leave a trace or not, but she knows she’s not changing her mind.
Mostly, they hide out. Sam and Jess have too good of a chance of being recognized, so they don’t show their faces outside at all. Sam spends the time on his laptop while Dean pokes around the crime scene that was once their home, trying to make use of the few details Dean gives him that might be useful.
Jess passes the days running through all of the information she’s being taught about hunting. Sam insists she needs to know all the basics-front to back-on paper before she even thinks of touching a gun or facing a monster. Dean says nothing, just leans against the wall watching Sam teach her, a tiny smile on his face that Jess thinks means that Sam is telling her exactly what Dean once told him.
Her main tool is their father’s journal. The little she knows about John Winchester has not endeared her to the man, but there’s no denying that it’s probably the most helpful thing they have to show her-better organized, better researched, and more informative than all of the websites Sam scours, hoping to find something useful.
Jess likes to think she’s learning fast. They stay in Palo Alto for a week before Sam gives up on finding a clue, and when Dean asks them one last time if they’re sure they want to leave, Sam gives him a look that effectively ends the conversation. The next morning, Jess stretches out on the backseat at some godawful hour and goes back to sleep as Dean starts the car.
_______________________________________________________________
How Sam and Dean know where to go is a mystery as far as Jess is concerned, just like with the first hunt. John sends them to the middle of nowhere, and neither Sam nor Jess is particularly surprised when it becomes clear he’s not there anymore, if he ever was. It doesn’t seem to matter to Dean. As long as there’s a hunt, he’s going to get it done, and if their father is sending him on a wild goose chase, Dean will be damned before he’s going to admit it.
Sam does the investigative work on his own-talks to the family of the victim, makes guesses at what they’re after. Jess and Dean find an empty field near one of the local schools. He spends every hour of the day for about a week drilling her, teaching her to fight and shoot and, most importantly, how to get out if a situation gets too messy.
Dean makes her promise time and time again that, for the first few hunts at least, she will stick to those moves. He doesn’t not believe in her. In fact, he praises her with a kind of surprised pride after most of their run-throughs. Jess gets that he’s just trying to protect her, and, having only recently been yanked from a premature, fiery death, Jess isn’t over-eager to get cocky and get killed, either.
_______________________________________________________________
“We have to go out tomorrow,” Sam says as he walks through the door.
Jess looks up from the gun she’s trying to put back together, and, when Dean turns his attention towards his brother, she wonders if maybe she can use his distraction. This shit is not as easy as it looks.
“Don’t even think about it,” Dean says over his shoulder.
Jess pauses guiltily in the middle of trying to pull out the diagram she’d been using to study the parts of the weapon, and Sam cracks a wide smile at them.
“Why tomorrow?” she asks. She’s not really trying to change the subject; she just thinks the hunt is more important than the fact that she may have been trying to cheat and got busted.
“The family, the guy’s sister and brother I told you about? They’ve gotten it into their heads that they’ll be able to find him if they go out searching. We’ve got to make sure we convince them to turn their asses around, and we gotta get out there and waste whatever this thing is before they think of trying again.”
Dean nods slowly. “Any new theories on what it is?”
“Not really,” Sam admits.
“I’m thinking…black dog, maybe? Something like that?”
“Sounds about as likely as anything I’ve got.”
“Black dogs aren’t so scary,” Dean says. “Remember, Sammy? Wasn’t your first hunt one?”
“Third. First was the killer nanny ghost, and the second was the cursed family parrot.”
Dean laughs. “Yeah, wow. I remember now.”
Jess’s heart feels a little lighter seeing the way Dean lights up at that, the way his eyes fold up in the corner. She doesn’t remember ever seeing him that close to happy.
“Why do you ask?” Sam asks.
Dean shrugs. “Well, Jess sucks less than you did back then-”
“Thanks, man,” says Sam. “Always appreciated.”
Dean winks at Jess and then turns back to Sam. “I was thinking maybe she’s ready for her first hunt.”
Jess sits up a little straighter. “What, really?”
“What do you think, Sam?”
Sam smiles brightly. “She’s gonna have to have one sometime, right?”
“Right,” Jess says helpfully.
Sam keeps his eyes on his brother. “If you say she’s ready, I trust you.”
And just like that, Jess is on her way to becoming a certified hunter.
_______________________________________________________________
Dean, who lacks both sensitivity and subtlety, spends most of the day flirting with the sister. Sam glares jealousy throughout, rolling his eyes at every pick-up line and becoming so irritable it beats even his bitchiest of finals weeks. Not that Jess blames him. She gets what Dean’s doing, trying to send Sam a message Sam and Jess both know he doesn’t really want to send, and she’s pretty fucking annoyed herself.
Still, they do their work, ignoring the useless instructions of the hired guide and, one by one, scratching possibilities off the list of things they might be hunting. It’s not until night is about ready to fall that Sam drags Dean aside, telling Jess to stay with the others. He says he wants her to keep them safe, but Jess can see something else in his expression, and there’s no chance in hell she’s going to sit around babysitting if this is important. She follows them a few feet off, hiding behind a tree when they pause.
“We’re dropping this hunt.”
“What? We’re already out this far. Dad wouldn’t have sent us here if he didn’t think we could-”
“I don’t give a shit what Dad thought. He didn’t know about Jess. Maybe, maybe we could have gotten this done if we didn’t have the others to look after, too. But we’re not going to stop this thing, definitely not before it kills some, if not all, of us.”
“Jesus, Sam, calm down. Where’s this coming from?”
“I figured out what we’re after. It’s a wendigo.”
Dean pauses. Jess can see the horrified revelation as it plays across his face. “So our guns are no good, and we didn’t bring torches. That’s not a good start.”
“Not a good start at all, Dean.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck is one way to put it. Fucked is another.”
“Alright, calm down. No one’s fucked, I’m gonna-we’re gonna take care of this.”
“No. No, no, and no. Dean, she…she almost died. You didn’t save her just so she could get torn up on some random hunt just because Dad said so. I can’t risk it.”
Dean steps forward when Sam’s voice breaks, and, for a moment, he looks like he’s going to reach out to comfort his brother. He stops before he gets too close, and Sam is looking down at his hands, so he never sees Dean struggle to get his expression under control. Instead of whatever he’d been on the edge of doing, Dean just gives Sam a hearty pat on the shoulder.
“Look, Sam, I’m not risking anyone, okay? Least of all Jess. We can stay safe, we know how to keep it out. We’ll make a protective circle for all of them, and you and me are gonna kill this thing before it even thinks of hurting her, you got me?”
Sam nods sourly and looks up at Dean. Jess rushes back to camp in time to beat them.
_______________________________________________________________
Civilians don’t know how to follow instructions. It’s a lesson, Dean tells her, that she’s unfortunately going to have to get used to. Despite their instructions, warnings about the wendigo being able to imitate voices, and Sam’s assertions that shooting at it is basically the stupidest thing they can do, Roy runs out after the creature, guns blazing.
Personally, Jess is kind of for letting him get eaten, and Dean snorts with an approving smirk, even as he shakes his head at her. They wait the night out, but by morning, everyone is itching for blood, and heading back without wasting the wendigo gets ruled out.
Their escape is narrow. It catches Dean, which sends Sam into hysterics and leaves Jess to keep his head screwed on. They follow it back to its cave or lair or whatever and find the lost brother, and Jess cuts Dean down while Sam pats at him, waking him up and checking for wounds.
As soon as Dean’s eyes are open, he’s back on the job. Jess stands back for most of the rest of it, huddles the family behind her and takes a flare gun, protecting but not engaging. It’s hard, especially when Sam or Dean is being hurt, but they look after each other, work together in a way that really is much more effective once the rest of them are out of the picture. Watching them move in sync, the confident, easy smiles that pass between them, makes Jess’s thoughts wander to places they really shouldn’t go.
The day ends back where it started-at the park’s visitors’ center, making up a story about grizzlies. Sam sits against the Impala, eyes trained on his brother as he gives Haley a too-warm goodbye. Sam and Jess fuck that night, hot, fast, and hard, and Jess finds that Sam’s as turned on by the hunts, or maybe just from watching his brother on hunts, as she is. They don’t bother being quiet for Dean, who lies in the other bed pretending to sleep and waits until Sam and Jess have both finished before getting out of bed and leaving the motel room. Jess assumes he’s looking for a bar and is right if the way he smells the next day is anything to go by.
It’s an uncomfortable morning, and it becomes pretty much the status quo between them for the first few weeks they spend hunting.
_______________________________________________________________
After the wendigo disaster, Dean calls off hunts until Jess is more polished. They train non-stop for two weeks, and, if Jess thought Dean’s boot camp was taxing before, she learns it can get exponentially worse. Still, she’s glad for it. She never wants to hear that she’s almost certain to get killed, ten hours and about as many miles into a hunt, again.
Sam and Dean take another case in the interim, a job for someone their dad once helped, because he calls them and begs. They both come home shaken, Dean because they ended up having to get on an airplane to get the hunt taken care of. Sam makes sure to tell Jess several times over exactly how scared Dean apparently is of flying.
Sam’s just as aloof as Dean is at the end of it, though, and, when Jess asks, Sam just says it was a demon, something he’s never faced before, and that it said things about her, though he doesn’t tell her what. That night he kisses her softly too many times before wrapping a protective arm around her and settling into a fitful sleep.
_______________________________________________________________
They finally bring her in for another job in the middle of October and only because it’s personal. Becky’s brother is in trouble. Becky was Jess’s first roommate at school, and, while they certainly had their fair share of fights, she’s like a sister to Jess, which makes Zach like a brother. Even Dean’s over-protectiveness subsides when she says that. If anyone understands why Jess won’t sit at home and fret while her brother is in trouble, it’s Dean.
She does much better on this hunt than the last, even if the shifter does capture her at one point. It captures Dean, too, so she doesn’t let herself feel too much like an amateur.
The thing takes Sam’s form when he decides to play with her, tells her about how Sam only wants Dean now, how he’s not glad she’s alive. He doesn’t get the rise he’s hoping for out of her, because Jess is pretty secure on those things, and he gives up in his frustration. Shifts into her and winks lewdly as he heads over to where Dean is. That does get a rise, but she’s tied up and gagged, so she can’t do anything, can’t even tell Dean not to listen to it.
Jess hears her own voice whispering to Dean about Sam, about all the things he does to her, things Dean won’t ever be a part of. She tells him how sick he is, how disgusting she finds his feelings for Sam, and how much Sam doesn’t care about him anymore, hasn’t since before he left for school. It’s a load of shit, but Jess knows that a part of Dean will hear it, and it’ll only confirm what he’s already spent too many years believing.
Sam finds them, cuts them both free, but by the time they’re topside again, the shifter’s been running around wearing Dean’s face and causing a whole lot of problems. The police are everywhere, crawling for him. They decide to split up, and Sam tells Dean to stay out of the sewers, but there’s pretty much nowhere else to go where the police won’t catch him, and Jess knows he’s not gonna listen. Dean’s still too pissed about what the shifter said to be rational. Jess doesn’t let that worry her much; she’s pretty sure he’s too good to let the emotion cloud his judgment.
They go to Becky’s, mostly because they don’t know where else to go, and they know Dean will find them there-better or worse. Becky ends up being the shifter, though, and it’s not long before both Sam and Jess are taken off guard, knocked out, helpless.
When they wake up, it’s Dean again, and Jess is really over the fucking theatrics. Sam gets himself free, gets Jess free, too, but she’s too pissed and not as experienced as Dean, not ready to hold back on the job. She ends up fighting it for about half a minute before it has her cornered, Dean’s strong hands wrapping around her neck.
Sam comes to the rescue then, and, as soon as Jess has recovered her breath, she’s treated to the most stressful five minutes of her life. The shifter taunts, but Sam ignores him, so he gets physical. Jess has never seen Sam fight the way he does to protect her, has never seen how dangerous or well-trained he really is until then. It should frighten her, but it doesn’t.
Dean ends up getting the kill, which Jess is glad of. He crouches down, a terrifying look on his face as he snatches the amulet it stole back, but he can’t look Jess or Sam in the eye at the end of the day.
_______________________________________________________________
Dean’s brilliant plan for dealing with the already strained relationship between them and how much worse the shifter’s words make it is to start going out to bars every night instead of just on the ones when things are too heated between them.
Some nights, Sam and Jess join him. Sam looks through newspapers for jobs, sometimes amused and sometimes annoyed as Dean teaches Jess about hustling cards and pool. Occasionally, he even joins, though he and Dean seem to have a well-memorized script: Sam argues about earning money the honest way, Dean makes smartass comments, and both of them hide their smiles behind their hands.
Jess is a natural at hustling, which just means she has boobs and doesn’t mind letting creeps ogle them to scam a few quick bucks. Sam likes the way she plays with them, and Jess loves the way he follows her with dark eyes, a smirk on his face that says he knows how much they want her, loves that no one gets her but him.
Surprisingly, it’s Dean who gets annoyed when men are too handsy or flirt too much. On her fourth night hustling, he nearly strangles a guy for trying to touch her-and though the guy had been a little too friendly, Jess could have taken care of it herself. Dean doesn’t care, won’t listen as she tries to talk him down.
He looks the guy in the eye and tells him she’s not for him to touch, then punches him when the guy asks if he’s her boyfriend or something. It takes Sam pulling him away and telling him to relax to get him off the guy, and he doesn’t really relax, just leaves early, agreeing to walk and handing over his keys when Sam asks if he’s okay to drive.
Jess is pretty sure Dean is more pissed at himself for looking at Jess, for all the times he’s given in and touched her, than he is at the guy in the bar, anyway. She’s just relieved when they get home and find him passed out, still in his clothes and boots, but in one piece.
_______________________________________________________________
On the nights he’s feeling particularly bitter, Dean’s favorite thing to do is grab a girl while Sam and Jess are right there in the same bar as him, and take her to the bathroom or an alley behind the bar or the Impala or pretty much anywhere he can get a quick fuck.
He works his way through several girls a week and never comes home looking any less miserable. Never stops looking at Sam or at Jess. Never quite manages to look away when they’re in bed together, and Sam hardly pretends to be concerned with his brother’s comfort when he’s with Jess. He wants to break Dean, and, while Jess understands where he’s coming from, a part of her worries he’ll break too much when he finally snaps, won’t be able to come back from it.
Jess’s solution is to try to give Dean at least some of what he needs. He won’t let himself touch Sam, maybe, but he’s already done it to Jess, and she wants to get close to him, maybe show him that what they could have wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Sam wants her to, too. Whispers all the filthy things he wants her to let Dean do to her, so she can bring them back and share it with him.
Jess finds herself opposite Dean on a bar stool one night, all dolled up in a way she hasn’t been since before the fire. She’s wearing a tight red dress and her hair down, and she’s sitting for less than a second before the guy on her right offers to buy her a drink.
Dean looks over, interested, and does a double-take when he realizes who’s sitting next to him. Jess smiles lopsided at him and ignores the guy on the right’s offer.
Dean licks his lips. “Jesus.”
“Hey, Dean,” she says. “Looking for a good time?”
“No,” he replies too quickly. “I mean, yes, but not…”
“Come on, Dean. I know why you came here. You’re not gonna get a better offer.”
His eyes hang on her, unblinking, and he barks out an ugly laugh. “You two’re gonna be the death of me.”
He downs a shot and turns away from Jess, eyes scanning the bar desperately for anything else.
Jess leans over, whispering right against his ear, her chest pressing against his arm and one hand circling on his back. “Dean, please.”
Dean stands, clearly upset, and, for a moment, Jess thinks he’s gonna storm out. He grabs her by the bicep and pulls her along, pushing open the door to the women’s restroom and locking the door behind him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” he asks. “You don’t understand what ‘no’ means? Is it really that hard to fucking grasp?”
“I just want to…”
“Just want to what? Just want to help? You wanna help me fuck my little brother, Jess? If I wanted to do that, I would do it on my own.”
“No, Dean, I…”
“You know why I came here,” he says. “I came here to get away from you. I came here so I could have five minutes to breathe without this constant reminder of how badly I fucked all of us up. And you follow me here? I can’t…fuck, I’m only human.”
He kicks at the door, and Jess puts a soothing hand on his shoulder. He turns around, catches it, and backs her into the sink, picking her up and sitting her on top of it. His lips press against her ear. “You want to know what I came here for, Jess?”
She nods, knowing it’s a bad idea, and Dean wastes no time pushing his hands up her skirt. She feels cold porcelain against her skin and shifts so that the extra fabric will stay between her and the sink. Dean huffs a laugh against her neck and pulls her panties down, letting them drop to the floor carelessly.
He takes out a condom and is inside of her in record time. The fuck isn’t anything like the other times he’s been with her. He doesn’t treat her like she’s special at all. He doesn’t worry about whether or not it’s good for her, though Dean’s got more than enough experience that he doesn’t really need to. He uses her like he uses all the other girls he fucks like this, and he thrusts hard into her long after she comes. When he’s done, he pulls out, zips up, and heads for the exit without saying anything.
Jess stands, a little sore, and waits for him to leave. He hesitates before unlocking the door and half turns towards her.
“That’s what I’ve been living off since Sam was hardly more than a kid, okay? Whatever you may think, you don’t want to be a part of it.”
The door slams behind him.
_______________________________________________________________
He doesn’t come home that night, but the next morning he’s back before Jess is up. She wakes to the smell of breakfast. Sam’s still asleep, one arm slung over her, and she pushes it aside.
“Hey,” she says, sitting at the chipped table.
Dean winces when he hears her voice and turns slowly. “Jessica.”
“Good morning,” she says, keeping her tone casual.
He looks surprised and a little torn. Jess is willing to bet he’s trying to decide whether to play along with her, forget last night ever happened, or just confront it. Jess knows what the usual Dean Winchester style is, so she’s surprised when he sits across from her, holding her gaze.
“You’re allowed to hate me, you know,” he says. “For…last night. For a lot more than last night, I guess. You don’t deserve to be treated like a…like I treated you.”
“That’s what I wanted, Dean. You were right. That’s what I went there for, and it was wrong of me, and I’m not sorry.”
He bites his lip. “I don’t get either of you.”
“I think you do. A lot better than you let on.” Jess stands, walks towards the stove, but pauses midway, right next to Dean.
He looks up at her from where he’s sitting. Jess cups the bottom of his chin with one hand and bends down, kissing him softly. Dean doesn’t seem to know what to do.
“Thanks for making breakfast, Dean,” she says lazily as she pulls away and begins stacking three plates with eggs. “Wake Sam up so we can eat, yeah?”
Dean stares in shock for a few moments longer, then shrugs and does as she asks.
_______________________________________________________________
They start sharing her after that. Some nights she spends with Dean, some with Sam, though she rarely sleeps in Dean’s bed. Sam usually waits up, knowing she’ll crawl back to doze off against his chest like she has for years. Half the time, he touches her or tastes her or even goes ahead and fucks her if she’s up for it, after his brother’s done with her.
She likes that she can bring him at least a part of what Dean’s not willing to share with him, and Sam accepts her charity like a starving man. The atmosphere begins to shift yet again, this time at least a little for the better. They’re working through the tensions, but Jess knows none of them are really happy, and Sam doesn’t even pretend he isn’t jealous of what Dean does to her.
It comes to a head pretty quickly. Something about the fact that she’s around throws the brothers off. However they managed to ignore their real feelings towards each other for so many years before she came along, it can’t hold up when she’s moving between them, whispering to them about each other, keeping them both worked up and on edge and only as satisfied as she wants them.
Jess has had more ethical moments in her life, but she doesn’t care. She knows he’s going to give in eventually, and she’s willing to torture until he does. Dean refusing Sam is bullshit. It’s hurting Sam, and it’s hurting Dean, and Jess doesn’t like Dean causing them pain anymore than she likes ghosts doing it.
Sam gets home with two arms full of supplies, at least an hour earlier than either of them had expected. Dean has Jess sitting on the kitchen table, her legs wrapped around his middle as he kisses her, massages her through her shirt, but that’s it. They haven’t gotten to the good part yet, and Jess wants to throw a fit knowing Dean will stop because Sam’s home, as if Sam doesn’t know what they’re doing. As if Sam doesn’t like it, doesn’t want to see.
He enters and watches them, and Dean freezes as predicted. Sam’s eyes go dark immediately, but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t apologize for interrupting, doesn’t offer to leave. He acts as if nothing’s happening, approaching the table, eyes fixed on Dean’s, and sets the groceries down on the seat closest to him.
Jess is still wrapped around Dean, her panties wet, pushed up against the crotch of his pants. She feels Dean go from half-mast to rock hard as soon as his brother’s watching him. She grinds against him, wanting more, just like Dean does.
Sam bends over and gives her a ‘hello’ kiss, as if she’s sitting at the table reading the paper, not sitting on it, moments away from fucking his brother. His hands move lower for a moment, push her shirt aside so he can bend down and suck at her breast, but then he backs off, stands and watches what Dean will do.
Dean grabs where Sam’s mouth was pressed, fingers flicking her nipples, playing with Sam’s spit, and he leans down, claiming her mouth with a searching kiss. She hears Sam’s breathing pick up.
Dean turns her over when he’s done kissing her, pulls both of her breasts free from her shirt and presses her chest into the table, spreading her legs and pulling her back so she’s standing, bent over for him. Her eyes are fixed on Sam, but Sam’s are on Dean, and she knows Dean is watching his little brother as he pushes her skirt up, fingers shoving aside the thin lace of her underwear and fucking into her quickly.
“Just get on with it,” Sam says, frustrated.
Dean stops, pulls his fingers out, and reaches for her panties with trembling hands. As soon as Jess feels them pooling around her feet, she hears unzipping, feels Dean jostling to get his pants open and his cock free. Jess moans, frustrated by the wait as Dean digs a condom out of his pocket and pauses to put it on.
Once he’s inside of her, Dean rocks in gently, shaking the table in a steady rhythm. Moving in a way that makes both of them gasp, he pushes further, leaning down so his back is against hers, his lips on her neck.
He keeps his hands on the edge of the table, and Jess knows why Dean’s not holding her breasts or soothing his hand on her thigh. She watches Sam watching them, turned on and sad, and wishes this didn’t feel so good. Sam should be feeling it, not her; Jess’s skin begins to itch with guilt.
Dean comes, the cry from his lips muffled, but what he was about to say before he bites down on his lip is unmistakable. Sammy.
Sam storms into the bathroom then, leaves Dean to finish Jess off in private, and it’s only another thrust or two before she’s done, before the orgasm hits and begins to recede, leaving only a strong current of shame. She stole this. It wasn’t for her, and they all know it.
Dean pulls out, helping her stand, but when he tries to kiss her, she turns her face away.
“Jess?” he asks.
“All your pretending you don’t want to touch him, and you think that’s serving him any better?” She shakes her head. “Well, congratulations on your restraint, Dean. I hope that made you real proud of yourself.”
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and it’s for the better. Jess doesn’t really wanna hear it at this point. She shoves past him, heading for the bathroom, and knocks. Sam opens the door, face flushed, and draws her into the room, closing the door behind him. He kisses her for a long time, soft and loving, and they both wash the dirty feeling off each other, showering and heading to bed without more than kisses and some innocent touches between them.
She stops letting Dean fuck her after that.
_______________________________________________________________
Sam and Dean are fighting when Jess wakes up the next day, though their voices are only angry whispers.
“That was fucked up, Dean.”
“Okay,” he snaps. “I get it. You’ve both told me.”
“You don’t use her. She’s not your blow-up doll.”
Jess smiles, knowing that some of Sam’s anger is more about jealousy than about how Dean’s treating her, but that, for the most part, Sam really is looking out for her.
“I wasn’t trying to-”
“I know exactly what you were doing, man. I don’t have any problem sharing her if you both want it. But if you want me…” Sam steps forward, grabs Dean by the collar and pulls him in. “If you want me, Dean, I’m right here.”
Dean lets out a shaky breath. “No, Sam. I do want her. She…she’s the only person who…” Dean shrugs. “She gets me, Sam. I want her.”
“Well, then don’t treat her like she’s one of your denial-ridden bar fucks.” He pauses. “And don’t treat me like I was born yesterday, Dean. I know what you want.”
“Fuck off, Sam.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” Sam replies in a snarky tone. “Until then, respect my fucking girlfriend.”
ON TO PART TWO
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean/Jess
Genre: Angst/Smut/Drama
Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content and Language
Word Count: 11,637
Author’s Note: This is an extension of my Cradlesong verse, which was written for polybigbang. This is for scorpiod1 for her birthday (which was MONTHS ago, so I guess we should just call it a holiday present). Baby Cactus, during one of my spams you said you wanted to see what happened during Season 1 when Sam was having his nightmares and Jess and Dean were worried about him, and I wanted to tell the story of how they got together finally, because I had it in my head and it wasn’t as easy as it seems like it will be from the Pilot, but I didn’t have time to write it into the actual story. Title is taken from a line from the Rob Thomas song Cradlesong for which the entire verse is named (it’s the one you said you liked for a title for the whole fic, but I thought it fit better for this and since you said you liked it anyway…^_^). I was supposed to keep this to 10K so it would fit in one post. I clearly really fucking suck at that game. Beta’d in ONE DAY by waterofthemoon who is SERIOUSLY FUCKING AMAZING and possibly magical (JUPITER OR BUST!!).
Summary: AU Cradlesong!Verse: Dean is still reluctant to join in Sam and Jess’s relationship, until Sam begins having dangerous nightmares that draw the three of them together once and for all. (Season 1, takes place between the Pilot and Part One)
Back to Masterpost ∴ Back to Pilot
The night they decide to leave Stanford behind, Dean fucks Jess for the first time.
It’s Sam’s idea. He tugs them towards the bed, begging them to. He says he wants to see everything he got back that night-both the people he was supposed to have lost, together and whole. Jess certainly doesn’t have any complaints about it, and Dean…Dean seems to be on autopilot by that point.
She thinks this means the beginning of something, that Dean is over being ashamed of how he feels about his brother-after all, they’ve kissed a few times already, and Sam’s watched Dean doing things brothers are definitely not supposed to want to see. Dean’s let him. She thinks whatever boundaries they ever had are finally gone. But she doesn’t know Dean, and she’s wrong.
_______________________________________________________________
They don’t leave Palo Alto immediately. Sam is convinced there will be clues, Dean is convinced Sam or Jess or both of them will change their mind about wanting to leave. Jess admits that she doesn’t know enough about hunting to have an input about whether the thing that attacked her will leave a trace or not, but she knows she’s not changing her mind.
Mostly, they hide out. Sam and Jess have too good of a chance of being recognized, so they don’t show their faces outside at all. Sam spends the time on his laptop while Dean pokes around the crime scene that was once their home, trying to make use of the few details Dean gives him that might be useful.
Jess passes the days running through all of the information she’s being taught about hunting. Sam insists she needs to know all the basics-front to back-on paper before she even thinks of touching a gun or facing a monster. Dean says nothing, just leans against the wall watching Sam teach her, a tiny smile on his face that Jess thinks means that Sam is telling her exactly what Dean once told him.
Her main tool is their father’s journal. The little she knows about John Winchester has not endeared her to the man, but there’s no denying that it’s probably the most helpful thing they have to show her-better organized, better researched, and more informative than all of the websites Sam scours, hoping to find something useful.
Jess likes to think she’s learning fast. They stay in Palo Alto for a week before Sam gives up on finding a clue, and when Dean asks them one last time if they’re sure they want to leave, Sam gives him a look that effectively ends the conversation. The next morning, Jess stretches out on the backseat at some godawful hour and goes back to sleep as Dean starts the car.
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How Sam and Dean know where to go is a mystery as far as Jess is concerned, just like with the first hunt. John sends them to the middle of nowhere, and neither Sam nor Jess is particularly surprised when it becomes clear he’s not there anymore, if he ever was. It doesn’t seem to matter to Dean. As long as there’s a hunt, he’s going to get it done, and if their father is sending him on a wild goose chase, Dean will be damned before he’s going to admit it.
Sam does the investigative work on his own-talks to the family of the victim, makes guesses at what they’re after. Jess and Dean find an empty field near one of the local schools. He spends every hour of the day for about a week drilling her, teaching her to fight and shoot and, most importantly, how to get out if a situation gets too messy.
Dean makes her promise time and time again that, for the first few hunts at least, she will stick to those moves. He doesn’t not believe in her. In fact, he praises her with a kind of surprised pride after most of their run-throughs. Jess gets that he’s just trying to protect her, and, having only recently been yanked from a premature, fiery death, Jess isn’t over-eager to get cocky and get killed, either.
_______________________________________________________________
“We have to go out tomorrow,” Sam says as he walks through the door.
Jess looks up from the gun she’s trying to put back together, and, when Dean turns his attention towards his brother, she wonders if maybe she can use his distraction. This shit is not as easy as it looks.
“Don’t even think about it,” Dean says over his shoulder.
Jess pauses guiltily in the middle of trying to pull out the diagram she’d been using to study the parts of the weapon, and Sam cracks a wide smile at them.
“Why tomorrow?” she asks. She’s not really trying to change the subject; she just thinks the hunt is more important than the fact that she may have been trying to cheat and got busted.
“The family, the guy’s sister and brother I told you about? They’ve gotten it into their heads that they’ll be able to find him if they go out searching. We’ve got to make sure we convince them to turn their asses around, and we gotta get out there and waste whatever this thing is before they think of trying again.”
Dean nods slowly. “Any new theories on what it is?”
“Not really,” Sam admits.
“I’m thinking…black dog, maybe? Something like that?”
“Sounds about as likely as anything I’ve got.”
“Black dogs aren’t so scary,” Dean says. “Remember, Sammy? Wasn’t your first hunt one?”
“Third. First was the killer nanny ghost, and the second was the cursed family parrot.”
Dean laughs. “Yeah, wow. I remember now.”
Jess’s heart feels a little lighter seeing the way Dean lights up at that, the way his eyes fold up in the corner. She doesn’t remember ever seeing him that close to happy.
“Why do you ask?” Sam asks.
Dean shrugs. “Well, Jess sucks less than you did back then-”
“Thanks, man,” says Sam. “Always appreciated.”
Dean winks at Jess and then turns back to Sam. “I was thinking maybe she’s ready for her first hunt.”
Jess sits up a little straighter. “What, really?”
“What do you think, Sam?”
Sam smiles brightly. “She’s gonna have to have one sometime, right?”
“Right,” Jess says helpfully.
Sam keeps his eyes on his brother. “If you say she’s ready, I trust you.”
And just like that, Jess is on her way to becoming a certified hunter.
_______________________________________________________________
Dean, who lacks both sensitivity and subtlety, spends most of the day flirting with the sister. Sam glares jealousy throughout, rolling his eyes at every pick-up line and becoming so irritable it beats even his bitchiest of finals weeks. Not that Jess blames him. She gets what Dean’s doing, trying to send Sam a message Sam and Jess both know he doesn’t really want to send, and she’s pretty fucking annoyed herself.
Still, they do their work, ignoring the useless instructions of the hired guide and, one by one, scratching possibilities off the list of things they might be hunting. It’s not until night is about ready to fall that Sam drags Dean aside, telling Jess to stay with the others. He says he wants her to keep them safe, but Jess can see something else in his expression, and there’s no chance in hell she’s going to sit around babysitting if this is important. She follows them a few feet off, hiding behind a tree when they pause.
“We’re dropping this hunt.”
“What? We’re already out this far. Dad wouldn’t have sent us here if he didn’t think we could-”
“I don’t give a shit what Dad thought. He didn’t know about Jess. Maybe, maybe we could have gotten this done if we didn’t have the others to look after, too. But we’re not going to stop this thing, definitely not before it kills some, if not all, of us.”
“Jesus, Sam, calm down. Where’s this coming from?”
“I figured out what we’re after. It’s a wendigo.”
Dean pauses. Jess can see the horrified revelation as it plays across his face. “So our guns are no good, and we didn’t bring torches. That’s not a good start.”
“Not a good start at all, Dean.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck is one way to put it. Fucked is another.”
“Alright, calm down. No one’s fucked, I’m gonna-we’re gonna take care of this.”
“No. No, no, and no. Dean, she…she almost died. You didn’t save her just so she could get torn up on some random hunt just because Dad said so. I can’t risk it.”
Dean steps forward when Sam’s voice breaks, and, for a moment, he looks like he’s going to reach out to comfort his brother. He stops before he gets too close, and Sam is looking down at his hands, so he never sees Dean struggle to get his expression under control. Instead of whatever he’d been on the edge of doing, Dean just gives Sam a hearty pat on the shoulder.
“Look, Sam, I’m not risking anyone, okay? Least of all Jess. We can stay safe, we know how to keep it out. We’ll make a protective circle for all of them, and you and me are gonna kill this thing before it even thinks of hurting her, you got me?”
Sam nods sourly and looks up at Dean. Jess rushes back to camp in time to beat them.
_______________________________________________________________
Civilians don’t know how to follow instructions. It’s a lesson, Dean tells her, that she’s unfortunately going to have to get used to. Despite their instructions, warnings about the wendigo being able to imitate voices, and Sam’s assertions that shooting at it is basically the stupidest thing they can do, Roy runs out after the creature, guns blazing.
Personally, Jess is kind of for letting him get eaten, and Dean snorts with an approving smirk, even as he shakes his head at her. They wait the night out, but by morning, everyone is itching for blood, and heading back without wasting the wendigo gets ruled out.
Their escape is narrow. It catches Dean, which sends Sam into hysterics and leaves Jess to keep his head screwed on. They follow it back to its cave or lair or whatever and find the lost brother, and Jess cuts Dean down while Sam pats at him, waking him up and checking for wounds.
As soon as Dean’s eyes are open, he’s back on the job. Jess stands back for most of the rest of it, huddles the family behind her and takes a flare gun, protecting but not engaging. It’s hard, especially when Sam or Dean is being hurt, but they look after each other, work together in a way that really is much more effective once the rest of them are out of the picture. Watching them move in sync, the confident, easy smiles that pass between them, makes Jess’s thoughts wander to places they really shouldn’t go.
The day ends back where it started-at the park’s visitors’ center, making up a story about grizzlies. Sam sits against the Impala, eyes trained on his brother as he gives Haley a too-warm goodbye. Sam and Jess fuck that night, hot, fast, and hard, and Jess finds that Sam’s as turned on by the hunts, or maybe just from watching his brother on hunts, as she is. They don’t bother being quiet for Dean, who lies in the other bed pretending to sleep and waits until Sam and Jess have both finished before getting out of bed and leaving the motel room. Jess assumes he’s looking for a bar and is right if the way he smells the next day is anything to go by.
It’s an uncomfortable morning, and it becomes pretty much the status quo between them for the first few weeks they spend hunting.
_______________________________________________________________
After the wendigo disaster, Dean calls off hunts until Jess is more polished. They train non-stop for two weeks, and, if Jess thought Dean’s boot camp was taxing before, she learns it can get exponentially worse. Still, she’s glad for it. She never wants to hear that she’s almost certain to get killed, ten hours and about as many miles into a hunt, again.
Sam and Dean take another case in the interim, a job for someone their dad once helped, because he calls them and begs. They both come home shaken, Dean because they ended up having to get on an airplane to get the hunt taken care of. Sam makes sure to tell Jess several times over exactly how scared Dean apparently is of flying.
Sam’s just as aloof as Dean is at the end of it, though, and, when Jess asks, Sam just says it was a demon, something he’s never faced before, and that it said things about her, though he doesn’t tell her what. That night he kisses her softly too many times before wrapping a protective arm around her and settling into a fitful sleep.
_______________________________________________________________
They finally bring her in for another job in the middle of October and only because it’s personal. Becky’s brother is in trouble. Becky was Jess’s first roommate at school, and, while they certainly had their fair share of fights, she’s like a sister to Jess, which makes Zach like a brother. Even Dean’s over-protectiveness subsides when she says that. If anyone understands why Jess won’t sit at home and fret while her brother is in trouble, it’s Dean.
She does much better on this hunt than the last, even if the shifter does capture her at one point. It captures Dean, too, so she doesn’t let herself feel too much like an amateur.
The thing takes Sam’s form when he decides to play with her, tells her about how Sam only wants Dean now, how he’s not glad she’s alive. He doesn’t get the rise he’s hoping for out of her, because Jess is pretty secure on those things, and he gives up in his frustration. Shifts into her and winks lewdly as he heads over to where Dean is. That does get a rise, but she’s tied up and gagged, so she can’t do anything, can’t even tell Dean not to listen to it.
Jess hears her own voice whispering to Dean about Sam, about all the things he does to her, things Dean won’t ever be a part of. She tells him how sick he is, how disgusting she finds his feelings for Sam, and how much Sam doesn’t care about him anymore, hasn’t since before he left for school. It’s a load of shit, but Jess knows that a part of Dean will hear it, and it’ll only confirm what he’s already spent too many years believing.
Sam finds them, cuts them both free, but by the time they’re topside again, the shifter’s been running around wearing Dean’s face and causing a whole lot of problems. The police are everywhere, crawling for him. They decide to split up, and Sam tells Dean to stay out of the sewers, but there’s pretty much nowhere else to go where the police won’t catch him, and Jess knows he’s not gonna listen. Dean’s still too pissed about what the shifter said to be rational. Jess doesn’t let that worry her much; she’s pretty sure he’s too good to let the emotion cloud his judgment.
They go to Becky’s, mostly because they don’t know where else to go, and they know Dean will find them there-better or worse. Becky ends up being the shifter, though, and it’s not long before both Sam and Jess are taken off guard, knocked out, helpless.
When they wake up, it’s Dean again, and Jess is really over the fucking theatrics. Sam gets himself free, gets Jess free, too, but she’s too pissed and not as experienced as Dean, not ready to hold back on the job. She ends up fighting it for about half a minute before it has her cornered, Dean’s strong hands wrapping around her neck.
Sam comes to the rescue then, and, as soon as Jess has recovered her breath, she’s treated to the most stressful five minutes of her life. The shifter taunts, but Sam ignores him, so he gets physical. Jess has never seen Sam fight the way he does to protect her, has never seen how dangerous or well-trained he really is until then. It should frighten her, but it doesn’t.
Dean ends up getting the kill, which Jess is glad of. He crouches down, a terrifying look on his face as he snatches the amulet it stole back, but he can’t look Jess or Sam in the eye at the end of the day.
_______________________________________________________________
Dean’s brilliant plan for dealing with the already strained relationship between them and how much worse the shifter’s words make it is to start going out to bars every night instead of just on the ones when things are too heated between them.
Some nights, Sam and Jess join him. Sam looks through newspapers for jobs, sometimes amused and sometimes annoyed as Dean teaches Jess about hustling cards and pool. Occasionally, he even joins, though he and Dean seem to have a well-memorized script: Sam argues about earning money the honest way, Dean makes smartass comments, and both of them hide their smiles behind their hands.
Jess is a natural at hustling, which just means she has boobs and doesn’t mind letting creeps ogle them to scam a few quick bucks. Sam likes the way she plays with them, and Jess loves the way he follows her with dark eyes, a smirk on his face that says he knows how much they want her, loves that no one gets her but him.
Surprisingly, it’s Dean who gets annoyed when men are too handsy or flirt too much. On her fourth night hustling, he nearly strangles a guy for trying to touch her-and though the guy had been a little too friendly, Jess could have taken care of it herself. Dean doesn’t care, won’t listen as she tries to talk him down.
He looks the guy in the eye and tells him she’s not for him to touch, then punches him when the guy asks if he’s her boyfriend or something. It takes Sam pulling him away and telling him to relax to get him off the guy, and he doesn’t really relax, just leaves early, agreeing to walk and handing over his keys when Sam asks if he’s okay to drive.
Jess is pretty sure Dean is more pissed at himself for looking at Jess, for all the times he’s given in and touched her, than he is at the guy in the bar, anyway. She’s just relieved when they get home and find him passed out, still in his clothes and boots, but in one piece.
_______________________________________________________________
On the nights he’s feeling particularly bitter, Dean’s favorite thing to do is grab a girl while Sam and Jess are right there in the same bar as him, and take her to the bathroom or an alley behind the bar or the Impala or pretty much anywhere he can get a quick fuck.
He works his way through several girls a week and never comes home looking any less miserable. Never stops looking at Sam or at Jess. Never quite manages to look away when they’re in bed together, and Sam hardly pretends to be concerned with his brother’s comfort when he’s with Jess. He wants to break Dean, and, while Jess understands where he’s coming from, a part of her worries he’ll break too much when he finally snaps, won’t be able to come back from it.
Jess’s solution is to try to give Dean at least some of what he needs. He won’t let himself touch Sam, maybe, but he’s already done it to Jess, and she wants to get close to him, maybe show him that what they could have wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Sam wants her to, too. Whispers all the filthy things he wants her to let Dean do to her, so she can bring them back and share it with him.
Jess finds herself opposite Dean on a bar stool one night, all dolled up in a way she hasn’t been since before the fire. She’s wearing a tight red dress and her hair down, and she’s sitting for less than a second before the guy on her right offers to buy her a drink.
Dean looks over, interested, and does a double-take when he realizes who’s sitting next to him. Jess smiles lopsided at him and ignores the guy on the right’s offer.
Dean licks his lips. “Jesus.”
“Hey, Dean,” she says. “Looking for a good time?”
“No,” he replies too quickly. “I mean, yes, but not…”
“Come on, Dean. I know why you came here. You’re not gonna get a better offer.”
His eyes hang on her, unblinking, and he barks out an ugly laugh. “You two’re gonna be the death of me.”
He downs a shot and turns away from Jess, eyes scanning the bar desperately for anything else.
Jess leans over, whispering right against his ear, her chest pressing against his arm and one hand circling on his back. “Dean, please.”
Dean stands, clearly upset, and, for a moment, Jess thinks he’s gonna storm out. He grabs her by the bicep and pulls her along, pushing open the door to the women’s restroom and locking the door behind him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” he asks. “You don’t understand what ‘no’ means? Is it really that hard to fucking grasp?”
“I just want to…”
“Just want to what? Just want to help? You wanna help me fuck my little brother, Jess? If I wanted to do that, I would do it on my own.”
“No, Dean, I…”
“You know why I came here,” he says. “I came here to get away from you. I came here so I could have five minutes to breathe without this constant reminder of how badly I fucked all of us up. And you follow me here? I can’t…fuck, I’m only human.”
He kicks at the door, and Jess puts a soothing hand on his shoulder. He turns around, catches it, and backs her into the sink, picking her up and sitting her on top of it. His lips press against her ear. “You want to know what I came here for, Jess?”
She nods, knowing it’s a bad idea, and Dean wastes no time pushing his hands up her skirt. She feels cold porcelain against her skin and shifts so that the extra fabric will stay between her and the sink. Dean huffs a laugh against her neck and pulls her panties down, letting them drop to the floor carelessly.
He takes out a condom and is inside of her in record time. The fuck isn’t anything like the other times he’s been with her. He doesn’t treat her like she’s special at all. He doesn’t worry about whether or not it’s good for her, though Dean’s got more than enough experience that he doesn’t really need to. He uses her like he uses all the other girls he fucks like this, and he thrusts hard into her long after she comes. When he’s done, he pulls out, zips up, and heads for the exit without saying anything.
Jess stands, a little sore, and waits for him to leave. He hesitates before unlocking the door and half turns towards her.
“That’s what I’ve been living off since Sam was hardly more than a kid, okay? Whatever you may think, you don’t want to be a part of it.”
The door slams behind him.
_______________________________________________________________
He doesn’t come home that night, but the next morning he’s back before Jess is up. She wakes to the smell of breakfast. Sam’s still asleep, one arm slung over her, and she pushes it aside.
“Hey,” she says, sitting at the chipped table.
Dean winces when he hears her voice and turns slowly. “Jessica.”
“Good morning,” she says, keeping her tone casual.
He looks surprised and a little torn. Jess is willing to bet he’s trying to decide whether to play along with her, forget last night ever happened, or just confront it. Jess knows what the usual Dean Winchester style is, so she’s surprised when he sits across from her, holding her gaze.
“You’re allowed to hate me, you know,” he says. “For…last night. For a lot more than last night, I guess. You don’t deserve to be treated like a…like I treated you.”
“That’s what I wanted, Dean. You were right. That’s what I went there for, and it was wrong of me, and I’m not sorry.”
He bites his lip. “I don’t get either of you.”
“I think you do. A lot better than you let on.” Jess stands, walks towards the stove, but pauses midway, right next to Dean.
He looks up at her from where he’s sitting. Jess cups the bottom of his chin with one hand and bends down, kissing him softly. Dean doesn’t seem to know what to do.
“Thanks for making breakfast, Dean,” she says lazily as she pulls away and begins stacking three plates with eggs. “Wake Sam up so we can eat, yeah?”
Dean stares in shock for a few moments longer, then shrugs and does as she asks.
_______________________________________________________________
They start sharing her after that. Some nights she spends with Dean, some with Sam, though she rarely sleeps in Dean’s bed. Sam usually waits up, knowing she’ll crawl back to doze off against his chest like she has for years. Half the time, he touches her or tastes her or even goes ahead and fucks her if she’s up for it, after his brother’s done with her.
She likes that she can bring him at least a part of what Dean’s not willing to share with him, and Sam accepts her charity like a starving man. The atmosphere begins to shift yet again, this time at least a little for the better. They’re working through the tensions, but Jess knows none of them are really happy, and Sam doesn’t even pretend he isn’t jealous of what Dean does to her.
It comes to a head pretty quickly. Something about the fact that she’s around throws the brothers off. However they managed to ignore their real feelings towards each other for so many years before she came along, it can’t hold up when she’s moving between them, whispering to them about each other, keeping them both worked up and on edge and only as satisfied as she wants them.
Jess has had more ethical moments in her life, but she doesn’t care. She knows he’s going to give in eventually, and she’s willing to torture until he does. Dean refusing Sam is bullshit. It’s hurting Sam, and it’s hurting Dean, and Jess doesn’t like Dean causing them pain anymore than she likes ghosts doing it.
Sam gets home with two arms full of supplies, at least an hour earlier than either of them had expected. Dean has Jess sitting on the kitchen table, her legs wrapped around his middle as he kisses her, massages her through her shirt, but that’s it. They haven’t gotten to the good part yet, and Jess wants to throw a fit knowing Dean will stop because Sam’s home, as if Sam doesn’t know what they’re doing. As if Sam doesn’t like it, doesn’t want to see.
He enters and watches them, and Dean freezes as predicted. Sam’s eyes go dark immediately, but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t apologize for interrupting, doesn’t offer to leave. He acts as if nothing’s happening, approaching the table, eyes fixed on Dean’s, and sets the groceries down on the seat closest to him.
Jess is still wrapped around Dean, her panties wet, pushed up against the crotch of his pants. She feels Dean go from half-mast to rock hard as soon as his brother’s watching him. She grinds against him, wanting more, just like Dean does.
Sam bends over and gives her a ‘hello’ kiss, as if she’s sitting at the table reading the paper, not sitting on it, moments away from fucking his brother. His hands move lower for a moment, push her shirt aside so he can bend down and suck at her breast, but then he backs off, stands and watches what Dean will do.
Dean grabs where Sam’s mouth was pressed, fingers flicking her nipples, playing with Sam’s spit, and he leans down, claiming her mouth with a searching kiss. She hears Sam’s breathing pick up.
Dean turns her over when he’s done kissing her, pulls both of her breasts free from her shirt and presses her chest into the table, spreading her legs and pulling her back so she’s standing, bent over for him. Her eyes are fixed on Sam, but Sam’s are on Dean, and she knows Dean is watching his little brother as he pushes her skirt up, fingers shoving aside the thin lace of her underwear and fucking into her quickly.
“Just get on with it,” Sam says, frustrated.
Dean stops, pulls his fingers out, and reaches for her panties with trembling hands. As soon as Jess feels them pooling around her feet, she hears unzipping, feels Dean jostling to get his pants open and his cock free. Jess moans, frustrated by the wait as Dean digs a condom out of his pocket and pauses to put it on.
Once he’s inside of her, Dean rocks in gently, shaking the table in a steady rhythm. Moving in a way that makes both of them gasp, he pushes further, leaning down so his back is against hers, his lips on her neck.
He keeps his hands on the edge of the table, and Jess knows why Dean’s not holding her breasts or soothing his hand on her thigh. She watches Sam watching them, turned on and sad, and wishes this didn’t feel so good. Sam should be feeling it, not her; Jess’s skin begins to itch with guilt.
Dean comes, the cry from his lips muffled, but what he was about to say before he bites down on his lip is unmistakable. Sammy.
Sam storms into the bathroom then, leaves Dean to finish Jess off in private, and it’s only another thrust or two before she’s done, before the orgasm hits and begins to recede, leaving only a strong current of shame. She stole this. It wasn’t for her, and they all know it.
Dean pulls out, helping her stand, but when he tries to kiss her, she turns her face away.
“Jess?” he asks.
“All your pretending you don’t want to touch him, and you think that’s serving him any better?” She shakes her head. “Well, congratulations on your restraint, Dean. I hope that made you real proud of yourself.”
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and it’s for the better. Jess doesn’t really wanna hear it at this point. She shoves past him, heading for the bathroom, and knocks. Sam opens the door, face flushed, and draws her into the room, closing the door behind him. He kisses her for a long time, soft and loving, and they both wash the dirty feeling off each other, showering and heading to bed without more than kisses and some innocent touches between them.
She stops letting Dean fuck her after that.
_______________________________________________________________
Sam and Dean are fighting when Jess wakes up the next day, though their voices are only angry whispers.
“That was fucked up, Dean.”
“Okay,” he snaps. “I get it. You’ve both told me.”
“You don’t use her. She’s not your blow-up doll.”
Jess smiles, knowing that some of Sam’s anger is more about jealousy than about how Dean’s treating her, but that, for the most part, Sam really is looking out for her.
“I wasn’t trying to-”
“I know exactly what you were doing, man. I don’t have any problem sharing her if you both want it. But if you want me…” Sam steps forward, grabs Dean by the collar and pulls him in. “If you want me, Dean, I’m right here.”
Dean lets out a shaky breath. “No, Sam. I do want her. She…she’s the only person who…” Dean shrugs. “She gets me, Sam. I want her.”
“Well, then don’t treat her like she’s one of your denial-ridden bar fucks.” He pauses. “And don’t treat me like I was born yesterday, Dean. I know what you want.”
“Fuck off, Sam.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” Sam replies in a snarky tone. “Until then, respect my fucking girlfriend.”
ON TO PART TWO