Original Fiction: Galatea

[cherie_morte]

Title: Galatea
Fandom: Original Fiction
Characters/Pairings: Ian (OC)/Sophia (OC)
Genre: Crappy
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3,699
Author’s Note: Look, guys, I want it on the record that I *know* this is bad. I wrote it for my Creative Writing class because I had absolutely no other ideas and no time to think of any. I've never written Original Fiction

Comments

[scorpiod1]

Y'know, after hearing from you about how much this sucks, it wasn't that bad.

I really liked the concept (the title was kinda of a hint). I thought she was a ghost at first and he had fallen in love with a dead woman. The beginning is a little boring with all the exposition but it picks up after he starts fallen hard for her.

I love the ending and the descriptions of his insanity. Actually, Ian is more interesting now that he's insane ;) I also really like the reveal that this is being told in first person, not third.

I don't think it's that bad.

[cherie_morte]

Eeee, I still hate it. But it just got workshopped, and I got a lot of really helpful ideas for the rewrite, so hopefully I can get it all the way to mediocre before I turn in my portfolio, lol. Thank you so much for reading (I hope your eyes didn't bleed *too* much :P) and for letting me know what didn't work as well as what did--like I said I'm doing rewrites soon and having your input will help me a lot! <3

[scorpiod1]

Ooh, way better! The beginning is improved slightly and I especially like the more detail you added to the end, with more of the nurse's thoughts and feelings.

GOOD JOB, LOVELY! KEEP WRITING!

[cherie_morte]

I couldn't bring myself to change the beginning much because it was the only part I liked, though I know that was something my professor really hated. *shrug*

I'm glad you thought the changes worked, Love, and I apreciate that you risked bloody eyeballs on this story twice.

I WILL KEEP WRITING. BUT NOT OF. :D