Real Person Fic - CW: The French Correction [Supernatural 6x15 Verse]

Feb 28, 2011 21:30

Title: The French Correction
Fandom: Supernatural & Real Person Fic: CW (or something, I DON’T EVEN KNOW)
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen, background Jared/Genevieve, Jared/OMC, and past Jared/Sandy
Rating: R for Infidelity (not between Jared/Jensen), Mild Sexuality, Language, and Alcohol Consumption
Word Count: 7,643
Author’s Note: Obviously this needed to happen. Can’t just give us a tragic break up without back story or fixing and leave us like that. It’s like getting head and not reciprocating. Just bad manners, Show. My deepest apologies to my sweet wife Genevieve. I NEVER WANTED TO MAKE MY GENEVIEVE A BITCH, but that’s what she was in this verse, and I had to keep it in character. AT LEAST SHE IS STILL THE HOTTEST BITCH. *_* The idea originally came from a tweet made by obstinatrix, so a big thank you to her for the plot bunny, and to clex_monkie89 who helped me cut back on my guilt for writing this before all my other charity fics by telling me to go sign up for help_nz and she would make this a charity fic, too. Finally a thank you to my fabulous beta and wife wutendeskind. ETA 5/7/2013: Thanks to eos_rose, you can now read this in epub format here.
Summary: 6x15 - The French Mistake!Verse AU: Not so long ago, Jared and Jensen were in love. This is how they fell apart. This is how they came back together.

There’s a dull ache in his limbs, like a stunt gone just a little bit wrong. “Weird fucking dream,” Jared mutters as he comes to.

Beneath him, something moves. “I have this dream all the time.” It’s Jensen’s voice, Jensen smiling up at him warmly-reaching to brush the hair out of Jared’s face-when he opens his eyes. Jared has no idea why he’s waking up on top of Jensen or why Jensen is adjusting to his weight like he welcomes it instead of shoving and demanding to know how Jared even dared to touch him.

He’s about to correct him, tell Jensen he wasn’t talking about this, he was talking about the fact that he spent the night thinking they were Sam and Dean, but quickly realizes he’s still asleep. There’s Jensen and Jensen’s happy to see him, speaking softly, everything he hasn’t been in over a year.

It can’t be real, but it’s been a long time since Jared’s subconscious has thrown a dream this good at him, and he’s happy not to fight it. Jensen doesn’t question, either. He tilts up his chin and opens his mouth, closes his eyes in anticipation of a kiss.

Jared doesn’t see who grabs him, but he sees the guard that snags Jensen up as soon as he’s been dragged away, and he feels the tight grip of whoever yanked him out of the moment. Everything is solid and terrifying, and Jared must be awake after all.

Across from where he’s standing, Jensen looks just as confused-a few seconds behind Jared on waking up. Jared looks down at the shattered glass on the floor, then behind him at the broken set, around the sound stage where every crew member on the show is crowded in a circle staring at them.

Jared wants to tell them all to fuck off, give him back that perfect moment, but there’s no point. He meets Jensen’s eyes again and there’s a scowl, a look that seems to insist this is all somehow Jared’s fault.

And Jared doesn’t even know what’s going on.

“Do we…escort them off set?” says the security guy behind Jared.

“Call the cops?” offers Jensen’s guard.

Jared is hoping Bob will show up, explain what’s going on, but no one seems to know who the hell’s in charge.

“They’re not a priority right now,” says someone in the crowd. Jim Michaels shoves his way out and stares into the wrecked set behind them. “Did you catch the psycho?”

Jared feels his face contorting in confusion. It’s the weirdest fucking joke in history, he has no idea what’s going on, and he feels like he’s been out cold for two days, which makes no sense because he would not have fallen asleep on set.

“Yeah, looks like Jared and Jensen knocked him out again,” another security man says. “I guess they knew he was up to something yesterday?”

“Is that what happened?” Jim is asking them.

Jensen shakes the arm holding him away and glares. Jared can smell the hissy fit coming. “Why am I being treated like a criminal?” he asks.

Jared doesn’t bother pointing out that they both are, just rolls his eyes.

“How did you know he was here to hurt people, and why didn’t you say something to one of us instead of trying to take care of it yourselves?” This time, Jim addresses the question to Jared, ignoring Jensen completely.

“Uh, sorry, what?” Jared replies.

Jim sighs. “They’re still useless,” he says. “Take them to my office, I need to talk to them when I’m done with the police. Everyone else, uh, you can head home early tonight, try to recover from everything. We’ll send out alerts when you should return to work.”

There’s a buzz of people gossiping as they leave, and Jared feels himself being shoved in the direction of the executive offices. He goes with it, doesn’t say anything, can hear Jensen bitching loudly enough for the both of them.

“You guys are gonna have to stay here for a bit. We’ll be outside, so don’t try leaving, okay?”

“Seriously, what the hell is going on?” Jensen asks.

The door closes halfway through the question.

Jared makes an effort to seem at ease as he relaxes back into one of the chairs. Jensen scoffs, stays standing.

“Feels like we’ve been sent to the principal’s office,” Jared says after ten minutes of aggravated silence.

“You seem awfully at home,” he says snidely.

Jared shakes his head. He was a straight-A student in high school, and Jensen damn well knows that, but he’s not about to indulge Jensen’s attitude with a response. He twiddles his thumbs and rocks in his chair and after a few more minutes, Jensen finally gives up on his pride and takes the empty seat next to Jared.

“So…” Jared hazards a glance over at Jensen, who is staring at the opposite wall to avoid having to see him. “I had this dream about you and me being Sam and Dean,” he says.

No response.

“And we, like, beat up an angel together and tried to do magic and stuff...it felt kind of like being possessed is supposed to feel on the show-I could see what we were doing but I couldn’t control it. I vaguely remember bits and pieces of what people keep alluding to, but not much of it, like when you wake up in the morning, you know?”

“Congratulations, Jared,” Jensen grumbles. “That’s really fascinating.”

He sighs, because Jensen’s clearly not even giving him a chance, and he’s confused as all fuck at this point, desperate enough to indulge the one crazy explanation he can find right now.

“Did you by any chance dream the same thing? Is that what you meant when you said you had ‘this dream’ all the time? Because it felt really-”

Jensen turns, his eyes quick and angry. “Can you not talk to me? This sucks enough as is.”

“So you did have that dream?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jensen says. He bites his lip and looks away again. “Look, who fucking cares? It’s not like we magically weren’t us or something.”

“I care. I just woke up on set, I don’t remember when I fell asleep, and apparently we tried to hurt someone yesterday, so, I don’t know. I’m trying to pick up the pieces and find out what the hell’s going on. You seemed lost, too. I thought maybe we could work together. I forgot what a child you are, my mistake.”

“It’ll never stop being funny that you seem to think you’re on some moral high ground, Jared.”

“Oh, forget I said anything.”

“Done and done,” Jensen replies, crossing his arms over his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared Padalecki has two lives.

At work, everything is about Sam Winchester. It’s his job to make Sam real, to make Sam’s problems believable, and Jared’s not so bad at his job. Sam’s entire world is Dean.

It’s therefore fitting, in a ridiculous way, that as soon as the camera stops rolling, Jared’s universe narrows down to Jensen, Jensen, and more Jensen. It’s stupid and pathetic maybe, Jared will grant. But after spending three seasons attached to the guy’s hip, he doesn’t know another way or even really want one.

“You wanna see something swell?” Jensen asks. It’s not the funniest or the most original pick-up line Jared’s ever heard, but Jensen punctuates it with a wiggle of his eyebrows too perfect not to chuckle at.

“I’m dying of thirst,” Jared counters. “And you smell like Gatorade.”

Jensen wrinkles his nose. “That’s too unsanitary to be funny.”

“Oh yeah? What’ve you got?”

Jensen ponders for a few seconds, then smiles. “Hey, I’m an astronaut. I’m heading for Uranus.”

Jared nearly spits out his beer laughing. “Dear lord, you win this round.”

“No, come on.” He kicks his foot out, knocking it lightly against Jared’s. “It’s no fun if you don’t even try.”

“If you were my brother, incest would be cool.”

“In light of the fact that we play brothers who are way too close on TV, that’s especially creepy, Jay.”

Jared throws his one empty hand up in frustration. “Everyone’s a critic.”

“How about this one? You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me.”

“Nerd,” Jared says, pretending to cough.

“Your turn.”

“Jensen, I wanna fuck you,” Jared says.

Jensen weighs it for a few seconds. “Eh, actually, I think that one would work on me.”

“If it came from the right place?” Jared asks.

“If it came from the right place,” Jensen agrees, not looking up from the bottle pressed against his thigh. “But that’s not how the game works. You’re supposed to be funny, not successful.”

“I’m not playing anymore,” Jared says. “Jensen, I wanna fuck you.”

Jensen swallows, his eyes going round. “You’re…serious right now?”

Jared nods.

“What about Sandy? You guys only just broke up.”

“Because I fell in love with someone else,” Jared confesses.

Jensen doesn’t say anything else, turns his attention back to the yard, smiling quietly to himself. Jared doesn’t know how to take it until they finish their drinks and head inside, and Jensen kisses him in the doorway as if they’ve done this a million times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They sit in uncomfortable silence for what feels like an eternity before they hear the door open.

“Thank you, Jesus,” Jensen mutters.

“Jim will do,” Jim answers, waving security outside and moving in behind his desk.

“I thought I talked to you people about being in a room with him,” Jensen accuses. “We had an agreement.”

Jared frowns to himself. He didn’t even know about that one yet-it’s not like he’s been trying to get alone time with Jensen lately, but it bothers him that he felt compelled to ask. Not that it’s really surprising.

“Oh, okay. You’re not talking again. This is good!”

Jared raises an eyebrow at him.

“Well, not good but…” He closes his mouth, reflects for a few seconds, and nods. “At least I know what I’m dealing with here, boys. You’ve been giving us quite the headache for the last few days.”

Jensen clears his throat to interrupt. “Where’s Bob? Shouldn’t we be talking to him? I mean, since when do you even care what’s going on around here?”

Jim’s face falls. “I’m in charge until Sera arrives, guys. Everyone else is dead. You haven’t heard?”

“Dead?” Jared asks, sitting up straighter. “What do you mean dead? Who’s dead?”

“You really didn’t hear?”

“No one told us anything before they shoved us into this sardine can.” Jensen smiles with venom.

“Well, that extra you guys tried to knock out yesterday came back on set today and went on a damn shooting spree. He got Bob, Kripke, Kevin. We’re pretty sure he’s the one who stabbed Misha last night, too.”

“Misha got stabbed?” Jensen jolts at the same time Jared does. “Is he okay?”

“What? No! Come on now, you guys know about that one. Whatever this amnesia act is isn’t going to help anyone. I need you to explain yourselves so I can decide whether to press charges for everything you’ve done this week or not. No more being cute.”

The door swings open and Genevieve waltzes into the office dramatically. Jared feels his stomach turn at the idea of her and Jensen in the same room together, and he hears Jensen sigh.

“I came as soon as I heard,” she says, rushing to Jared’s side.

“Well, thank God. Ruby’s here. The day almost wasn’t bad enough.” He stands. “I’m going outside. I’ll talk to you when the love birds are done.”

“Sit down, Jensen,” Jim says. Jensen hesitates before obeying. “Genevieve, I’m glad you could make it. I’m sure you heard about the tragedies on set today, we wanted to make sure Jared had someone to support him.”

“Do I get a classy hooker for grief counseling, too?” Jensen smirks at Genevieve’s narrowed eyes.

Jared kind of wants to laugh, but instead he plays his part. “Don’t insult my wife, Jensen.”

“I find that offensive on the lady’s behalf,” Jensen replies. “She chose her profession, I’m sure it’s perfectly respectable.”

“Everyone shut up, for crying out loud.” Jim is cradling his head already. Jared sympathizes-he had to spend an entire season with the two of them. “Jared. Jensen. Get to explaining yourselves immediately.”

“Mr. Michaels, I just want to say that whatever my husband may have done was clearly a result of bad influences. You’ll grant he’s been perfectly respectable up until he suddenly decided to reconnect with Jensen the other day. Without a doubt, Jensen planned all of this and Jared was just an innocent, naïve victim trying to regain a friend.”

“Reconnect with Jensen? What makes you think Jensen wanted to reconnect with him?”

“Oh, so you haven’t spent the last two nights bumming around my house?” Genevieve asks.

“I’d rather shoot myself than spend five minutes in your house, doll face.”

“Gen, babe, why don’t you wait outside until we’re done in here? We’re not going to get anything done with you and Jensen bickering, and frankly I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible.”

“Of course, baby,” she agrees, throwing Jensen one last nasty look before leaving.

Jim lets out a long breath. “Alright, now that she’s out of hearing range. Jensen, Clif told us about you and Jared rekindling your, uh, whatever last night. It’s pretty obvious you guys weren’t working on your acting, so let’s all just drop the modesty, all right? I don’t care if you two are talking, not talking, holding hands in a park, but you can’t run around evading airport security laws and beating people up, no matter how happy you two are to be on better terms.”

Jared looks over at Jensen, meets a mirror of his own confusion. “We didn’t do any of that,” Jared says. “I went home with Genevieve last night, and Jensen went to, I don’t know. Play with his helicopter and cry, whatever he does on his off time.”

“No, Jared, that’s not the case, and we all know it.” Jim shakes his head. “Do you boys have an explanation or not?”

“I got nothing,” Jensen says. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Jensen’s right for once.”

“Well, boys, you’ve been with the show a long time. You’ve got fans and, let’s be honest, we’re toast without you. I’m willing to not press charges if you two wanna take back what you told Bob about quitting yesterday. And if you’ll sign agreements to act more responsibly in the future.”

“What about quitting?” Jared asks. “Who quit what?”

“You both quit the show.”

“No, no, no,” Jensen cuts in. “That’s not possible.”

“Alright. I see the drugs are starting to wear off. How about you two go home and get some rest, think this over, and come back tomorrow when you’ve gotten everything straight? We’ll probably have to hold off until next week finding replacements for all our dead crew and,” he sighs, “I guess we should probably have a few days mourning period…”

He keeps talking and never starts making sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared looks at the other side of his bed. Jensen is still sleeping; Jared can’t help running the side of his hand over Jensen’s bicep. Jensen lets out a happy, sleepy moan and turns over to look at him. “Morning,” Jensen says.

Jared means to return the greeting with something casual, another “good morning” perhaps, but what comes out is, “Move in with me.”

Jensen smiles and shoves playfully at Jared’s side. “What’re you talking about, Padalecki?”

“Move in. Here. I’m serious.”

Jensen sits up a little. “This is the first time we’ve ever even-”

“I know,” Jared says. “But it’s not like we just met. I’ve been in love with you for months now. I don’t see the point in pretending otherwise.” He grins and leans down to kiss Jensen. Jensen returns it, but he’s frowning when Jared pulls away. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jensen says. “I just remembered I have to…”

He doesn’t bother finishing the thought, steps into his jeans and begins to look around for his shirt. Jared feels pretty exposed all of a sudden, but he sits up and reaches out regardless, catching Jensen’s wrist.

“Forget it, Jensen. There’s no pressure. It was just an offer. You’re not going to regret-?”

Jensen cuts him off with a press of his lips to Jared’s and then heads for the door. Jared takes that as a ‘no, I don’t regret sleeping with you.’ Jared gets a lot of things wrong about Jensen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You quit your job?” Genevieve shrieks for the 800th time.

“Would you muzzle your parrot?” Jensen mutters as he passes. Jared hides his smile behind his hand and doesn’t bother defending her.

“Only temporarily,” he replies, trying to soothe. “I’m gonna get it back tomorrow.”

“That’s not the point!”

“What’s the point again?” Jared asks. He usually doesn’t bother giving Genevieve attitude, has found that the best way to deal with her entire existence is to just nod along with whatever she says or does or asks him to throw money at, but he’s been dicked around all day, and he’s finally reaching his max.

“Jared, do you have a problem?” Genevieve puts a hand over his face, feeling for a fever or sign of heavy drug use. “Did he do something to you?”

Jared shoves her hand away. “Genevieve, Jensen’s not the root of all of my problems, okay?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Jensen looking up. Jared should call him out on eavesdropping, but he figures there’s no use in embarrassing him in front of Genevieve and Clif.

“Then what, Jared? First you’re back with this one,” she points to Jensen across the room, “God only knows what you’ve been doing with him. You get home late and leave early, Clif says you’re buying body parts, you don’t seem to care at all when I tell you our friend has been stabbed to death. These things don’t just happen!”

Jared shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what happened. That’s all I can give you.”

Genevieve stares at him in shock for a long time, then laughs bitterly. “Is this a joke?”

“No, it’s not, it really isn’t.”

“What am I supposed to think?”

“Beats me, Genevieve. You could be supportive?”

“How am I supposed to support you when you’re acting like this?” she asks, melodrama creeping into her tone.

“Frankly, I don’t really care at this point,” Jared says before he gets a chance to think about it.

“I want a divorce,” she replies.

Jared can see her waiting for him to fall apart at this news, immediately take everything back, and crumble under her the way he’s been doing for the last two years. Instead he can’t help smiling. “Finally, some good news today.”

Her mouth hits the floor and she turns on her heels and heads for the car. “Don’t bother coming home,” she calls over her shoulder before slamming the door.

Jared turns to find Clif and Jensen both staring at him unblinking. Jensen’s face is trying to be entirely placid, but the left corner of his mouth is turned just the slightest bit up. He thinks it’s funny. Jared probably deserves that.

“Sorry you had to see that,” he says to both of them.

“Yeah,” says Clif awkwardly. “Should I, uh, drive you…somewhere?”

Jared bites his lip. “I have to get my dogs, and then I guess you can drop Jensen off, and I’ll find somewhere to stay until she cools off or…”

Clif claps him on the shoulder supportively. “She just needs a few days to unwind.”

What Genevieve needs is for Jared to come crawling back and beg, and he’s beginning to realize he’s got way more reasons not to. He feels a little lighter as he follows Jensen into the van.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He waits a long time for Jensen to get used to it. Jensen drags him along.

Kisses every night: long, sweet, hungry. He touches like he means it. He murmurs words that Jared knows aren’t a joke against sweat-slicked skin. He gives Jared everything, and it’s everything Jared needs or wants.

He disappears in the morning. New excuses fall from him in a continuous stream; he doesn’t show any signs of guilt as he drops them on Jared. They weigh Jared down, make him feel 100 years older, but Jensen doesn’t seem to notice.

He’s Jared’s Jensen, laughing and inside jokes and perfection, but he’s deaf when Jared tries to say ‘serious’ or ‘boyfriend’ or ‘love.’ Insatiable when they’re alone, but it’s tall, skinny blondes in short, short dresses that go out with Jensen when he knows he’ll be seen. Jared disappears.

He knows Jensen loves him. He knows Jensen wants to be with him. Jared wants to announce it to every goddamn person he meets, wants to brag to anyone who will listen that someone like Jensen cares about him-but he doesn’t need that. He understands why Jensen is reserved, is willing to keep things under wraps for Jensen’s sake, for both of their careers. All he wants is for Jensen to admit it to him, and Jensen can’t or won’t accept what’s going on between them.

Every night they spend together, it means more to Jared. Every morning they wake up together, Jensen leaves faster.

After a few months, Jared is all worn down on Jensen, and he comes to a decision. Jensen will stand up for him, will claim him, or Jared will move on to someone else. Jared only sets these stakes because he’s sure, convinced without a doubt that Jensen just needs to see there’s a chance he can lose Jared to appreciate what they have.

He waits until it’s late, their beers are almost empty and soon they’ll go back inside and make love and maybe Jared will even be allowed to call it that.

“I’m going to ask Genevieve out,” he says. “That doesn’t bother you, right?”

Jensen snorts. “Why Genevieve? She’s kind of a raging bitch.”

“No, yeah, I know,” Jared admits. “But she’s safe. You think I should go for it?”

There’s no hesitation.“Yeah,” Jensen answers, smooth and easy as a blade across Jared’s throat.

Every last bit of stupid, naïve optimism he’s been cherishing is crushed under Jensen’s heel. He gets an ugly feeling in his gut, wants to tear at Jensen. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep himself together, and Jensen stands up, stretching, smiling like nothing’s wrong. “Let’s go inside,” he whispers hotly into Jared’s ear.

And Jared still can’t help following.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared’s first lucky break of the day is the absence of Genevieve’s car in the driveway when he gets home. Clif parks and Jared looks over at Jensen. Jensen’s head is resting against his window, an almost sad look on his face until Jared calls his attention and he’s back to his default glare.

“What?”

“Look, I hate to ask for help, believe me, but…in the interest of getting out of here before trouble arrives, will you come in and help me grab some things?”

Jensen’s eyebrow lifts above his hairline. Jared assumes the ‘no,’ but he hears Jensen’s seatbelt unbuckling as he’s stepping out of the car.

“For the record, I’m doing this to save Harley and Sadie, not for you.”

“Noted,” Jared says. “I appreciate it, anyway.”

“Just don’t talk, okay?”

Jared steps ahead and distracts his annoyance by fishing around for his house keys.

“Can’t believe you sold the old place for this,” Jensen says as they’re walking in. “It’s not you.”

“Miss that house,” Jared admits. It wasn’t Genevieve’s style, and Jared didn’t want to share what he’d secretly thought of as his and Jensen’s home with someone else.

“But where would you have put your giant paintings of yourself?” Jensen asks, horrified as he stands in the open doorway and looks around. He shakes his head and laughs. “Man, remember when you used to be cool?”

Jared ignores it. “I’m gonna go upstairs and grab a few essentials, okay? Harley and Sadie should be by the pool. I’m sure they’ll still remember you.”

Jensen heads for the backdoor, opens it, and shuts it immediately. “Dude, do you have a llama?”

“It’s an alpaca,” Jared says.

“It’s terrifying.”

“No argument here.” Jared points towards the yard. “That is one thing I am not going to miss.”

“Am I allowed to ask why you have a pet llama?”

He winces, already seeing the well-deserved snark coming. “Genevieve wanted it.”

“Nice to see you hanging on to your dignity, man. Will you still have a personality after this divorce or is she taking that with her?”

Jared pretends he didn’t hear it, pretends it didn’t hurt, and heads for his bedroom.

When he gets downstairs, Jensen is laid back on the couch, Sadie on top of him, licking and wagging away. He’s laughing. Smiling. It’s a little piece of glass lodged in Jared’s heart, because Jared had forgotten just how beautiful Jensen was.

“Hey,” he says, rounding the couch to take up Harley’s leash.

Jensen freezes when he hears Jared. His expression glosses over and he shoves Sadie away. “Fucking dog is still a slobber factory.” He wipes at his face, picks up Sadie’s leash.

“Sorry,” says Jared. “She just missed you.”

Jensen makes a skeptical noise and stands up. “We about done here?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Don’t wanna see Genevieve Padalecki another fucking moment today.”

“She probably doesn’t want to see you, either,” Jared says, tone playful.

Jensen starts to laugh, then catches himself. “Yeah, well, you’re in my boat now, buddy.”

Jared points to the front door. “Shall we?”

Jensen stands and is about to start walking when something catches his eye. He moves back to the couch and picks it up. “Do you seriously have this in your house?”

“It’s Genevieve’s,” Jared says, feeling his face burn.

Jensen holds the leopard-print Snuggie at arm’s length, like the thing is going to bite at him, then smiles slowly. “Hey, Jared.”

“Yeah, what?” he asks, already annoyed, waiting for Jensen to make fun of him.

“You should make like a Snuggie, and take me from the front,” he says, same playful tone he used before they were ever together. The reminder of their stupid game has Jared trembling, fighting not to step forward and kiss Jensen and admit how long he’s been waiting to hear Jensen make bad pick-up lines at him.

Clif honks, probably a warning that Genevieve is driving up, and the Snuggie falls into a pile on the couch. The smile slips off Jensen’s face. The moment is dead and buried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen doesn’t understand the concept, apparently.

He presses in, lips hovering right in front of Jared’s, and it falls to Jared to somehow find a way to resist. “Man, stop it,” he says, pushing away.

Jensen laughs. “Not in the mood? Is it that time of the month again, babe?”

“I have a girlfriend now,” Jared reminds him.

Jensen’s brow creases. “I’ve had plenty of girlfriends,” he says. “Never stopped us-”

“This is different,” Jared says, turning his face. “I don’t want a decoy, Jensen. I want someone I can be with.”

Jensen sits back. “You…want someone you can what? We fuck every night, you’re not being starved.”

“I wasn’t saying that.”

“Then what?”

“I want a relationship that means something,” Jared says.

“Unlike…” Jensen nods, makes a face like he’s swallowing bile. “Right. Well, that’s great.”

“You said…you said you didn’t mind.”

“I don’t,” Jensen replies, stepping towards the door. “I’m going home.”

“We just got here.” Jared tugs him by the shoulder. “We were gonna order dinner.”

“Not hungry,” Jensen replies.

Jared watches his fingers turn around the doorknob and calls out after him. “Jen.”

Jensen stops. “Yeah?”

“We’ll still be friends, right? You didn’t just want to come for-”

“Always, Jared,” Jensen promises, his voice failing a little. “Best friend first, you’re always gonna be my best friend.”

Jared nods, stupidly believes him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jensen, you’re home,” Clif announces.

Jensen pats Sadie in the trunk and makes eye contact with Jared for a split-second.

“Thanks for helping me earlier,” says Jared.

Jensen grabs his bag and gets out of the car, and Jared is about to prepare for a long night of driving around when his side of the van is open and Jensen is tugging him out.

“What’re you doing?” Jared asks, pushing his hand away.

Jensen frowns, throws a look to the trunk. “Look, you’re going to have a really shitty night driving around trying to find a place that will take them in at this time. I have a guest room. We won’t be in each other’s way.”

“You’re asking me to stay with you?”

“Apparently you put me up for the last two nights. I might as well return the favor.”

Jared bites his lip and thinks it over, then disregards everything his brain tells him. “Yeah, okay. Clif, you can go home. I’m gonna stay at Jensen’s tonight.”

Clif’s eyes look amused in the rear-view mirror. “Yeah, no problem. I’ll be by for you guys in time for the meeting tomorrow.”

Jared pats him on the shoulder over the seat in thanks and follows Jensen.

As soon as they’re inside and the dogs are loose, Jensen turns on Jared and slams him hard against the wall. Jared is actually pretty terrified, because Jensen is clearly pissed, and he’s not going to fight back if whatever urge they’d had to punch people yesterday is suddenly returning.

“I really hate you, Jared,” Jensen says, and then kisses him hard.

‘Hate’ feels a lot like ‘love’ and Jared runs his tongue over it, clinging, adoring. When Jensen pulls away, Jared nearly whimpers at the sensation of loss.

“Jensen,” he murmurs, tugging Jensen in, trying to catch his lips.

Jensen doesn’t let him, though. He withdraws. Wipes his hand over his mouth like he has to clean out an infection.

“You shouldn’t,” is the best reply Jared can manage.

Jensen makes an acidic sound of amusement. “Why not?”

“Because I’m Jared, and you’re Jensen, and people have been telling us that for the last two years, you can’t tell me you don’t understand what they mean.”

“Understand? I wrote the fucking book on it.”

“But you’ve been so nasty,” Jared says. “Every time I tried to talk to you, until I had to give up.”

“Who started it, Jared?”

“How old are we?”

“Fuck you,” Jensen spits.

“This why you invited me to stay?”

“No.” Jensen deflates, the fight going out of him. “No, it isn’t.”

Jared reaches out to sooth him. “Jensen, I never meant to-”

“You kissed me. The night before your wedding, you kissed me. You knew what you were doing, Jared, that didn’t happen by accident.”

“I was drunk.”

“I was not.”

“You shouldn’t have kissed me back, then.”

“I thought…” Jensen’s laugh is hollow. “I thought if I kissed you, you’d call it all off. Come back to me.”

“God, if you’d just fucking said that.”

“You knew how I felt about you, and you made me stand at the fucking altar and watch. Do you know how hard I had to try to be a decent groomsman?”

“I knew how you felt about me? Jensen, am I a mind reader? You never told me anything. I spent so many months trying to puzzle you out that I really think I would have gone crazy if I hadn’t settled for someone else.”

“I didn’t think we had to talk about it. I thought it was enough on its own.”

“No, Jensen. You were hiding. You were hiding from me. I couldn’t take that.”

“I thought we were good for each other.” Jensen shakes his head. “I actually believed that.”

He goes to bed and shuts the door on Jared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen sucks at keeping promises. Jared’s not really surprised when he starts to drift away, just disappointed. The longer Jared dates Genevieve, the less they see of each other. She hates Jensen, tells Jared not to spend as much time with him, but Jared doesn’t ever listen. Jensen hears; Jensen listens for him.

It doesn’t matter how much Jared tries to bring him back in. It doesn’t matter what he does because Jensen is convinced of some unwavering truth about Jared and Genevieve’s relationship, and, whatever it is, it rules him out.

He still comes through when Jared needs him the most, which almost makes it worse. If he were a shit friend, Jared could convince himself he’s upset, which would feel better than just being sad.

He plans Jared’s bachelor party, and they find each other in the private room Jared is supposed to be getting a lap dance from some stripper in. Instead, Jensen ends up pressed against his side, kissing long and needy and Jared doesn’t remember who starts it or why or if Jensen seems to regret it. He just wants more when it’s done, doesn’t even feel guilty when Genevieve is walking down the aisle dressed in white.

After the wedding, things change. Great-friend-turned-not-a-shit friend becomes a ghost Jared sees all day and can hardly remember when he gets home. Jensen doesn’t talk to him much, doesn’t accept invitations to hang out. He’s in, he says his lines, he’s out.

Jared and Jensen have been friends for a long time by then, close friends, and close friends fight, and sometimes they fight dirty. Jensen knows just how to hurt Jared. But of all the stunts he’s pulled in heated moments, when he’s tried his best to wound Jared and Jared’s given as much as he’s taken, nothing ever hurt like this. Jensen isn’t even mad at him. No yelling, no insults. Jensen just doesn’t seem to care.

It comes to a head at the Season Five wrap party, but by then, Jared’s too far gone to care. He’s lost his best friend, and it doesn’t matter if his wife hangs creepy paintings of them on the wall, because everything is a fuzzy gray mess around him. And then he looks at Jensen and there’s focus and bright green, and Jared hates that it’s the only thing he can see so much that he starts to actually hate it.

And he’s drunk. Not falling-down drunk, but about as drunk as he can be on his feet. Which makes it a lot easier to deal with the fact that he isn’t going to see Jensen all summer, because Jensen isn’t going to want to see him, and he doesn’t know if that’s awful, or if he’ll be able to forget how much he loves the sound of Jensen snoring quietly on the pillow next to him and finally move on.

There’s a waiter. The waiter is a sure thing. Jared’s been doing this long enough to tell, and all it takes is catching the guy’s eye across the room for fifteen seconds, a wink. Jared goes outside, finds a quiet, hidden nook on the balcony, and waits. The boy is out in about two minutes, smiling up at Jared.

He’s too short and his hair is too light and he’s not nearly gorgeous enough. He’ll do.

Jared gets him shoved against a pillar and makes quick work of fucking him, thinks about the times he was pressed against this same pillar, cold marble against bared skin, Jensen on his knees, looking up at him like they were getting away with something. He closes his eyes and thinks of that and manages not to say Jensen’s name when he finishes.

The boy leaves first, straightens up before going back out, but Jared doesn’t bother. He’s still tucking in when he gets out far enough for someone to see him, and Jensen is standing there, staring like he’s not believing what just happened. Jared grins at him. “Heya, Jenny.”

Jensen pulls him aside. “Your wife is at this party, Jared,” he whispers harshly.

Jared’s still horny, a condition being around Jensen never helped, so he rubs up close. “She’s mingling, that’s what she’s good at,” he says. “She won’t know. Unless you tell her.”

He’s careful to make it sound like he doesn’t mind either way, but a part of him secretly hopes Jensen will do exactly that-march up to Genevieve and show that, for better or worse, he still gives a fuck about Jared’s life.

“No point,” Jensen says sadly. “You two deserve each other. Don’t hate her any less than I hate you.”

Jared smiles and leans closer. “Lucky her, then. Maybe she gets a turn at a few months of meaningless sex. You’re a giving guy, Jensen.”

“If you really think I did any of that because I hated you-”

Jared puts a finger over his mouth. “I’d let you fuck me right now,” he slurs.

Jensen pushes him hard. “You’re turning into a really disgusting person,” he says.

Jared throws his head back and laughs so hard his sides hurt. When he’s done, he looks Jensen in the eye and gives him a condescending pat on the shoulder. “I liked you better when you weren’t talking to me.”

Jensen’s lip is trembling when Jared pushes him away again. And after all the beautiful things Jared said and meant, this is what Jensen decides to take to heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Entirely by accident, Jared finds Jensen’s alcohol stash. It helps that he’s got a fully stocked bar in his living room. It has four bottles of Jared’s favorite whiskey-the strong shit, the kind Jensen hated but always kept a few bottles of in case they had a hard day on set and Jared needed it-and happily invites himself to the first of them.

Jensen’s house looks different but the same. The familiar pictures of Jensen’s sister’s graduation still smile at him, but the furniture is all new: more expensive, less personal to Jensen. It doesn’t look lived in or welcoming. It’s not as drastic as the gaudy crap Genevieve has filled Jared’s house with, but it hurts that he wasn’t here to see the changes. It’s amazing how much he’s missed in just a few months, how evident the sense of aloneness in this house that used to be so full of life has become.

Jensen was never supposed to be alone, and Jared feels cold just thinking about it. Tonight, Jared will sleep two rooms away from the love of his life. They’ll wake tomorrow hating each other and sign contracts to work on a show where they can’t get a moment of space, because they’re both that sick and because Jared might die if he doesn’t see Jensen, even if he only sees Jensen’s cold shoulder.

He gets a few glasses into the whiskey before he’s knocking at Jensen’s door.

Jensen opens up, dressed for bed. He looks tired, but not like he’s been woken up. “What do you want?” he asks.

Jared crashes his lips into Jensen’s.

“Jared, you’re drunk.” He pushes Jared away. “Amongst other things.”

“I’m not that drunk. Just drunk enough to tell you.” He cups Jensen’s chin in one hand. “Jensen, you’re right. I’m a bad person. I’ve done-I do awful things. I was terrible to you.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “I really don’t want to deal with this rig-”

“The last time I didn’t hate myself, you liked me. It was that long ago.”

“I still like you, Jared,” he says, a little unsure. “I never stopped liking you.”

“You hate me.” He drops his face and rests it on Jensen’s shoulder. “You hate me, and I deserve it. I wish you knew how sorry I am.”

Jensen is quiet for what feels like forever, and Jared doesn’t think he’s going to respond at all. But he’s not making Jared step back or get off of him, so Jared is staying right where he is. “I had to, Jared,” he finally says, almost whispering.

Jared pulls away enough to see his face. “Had to what?”

“I had to convince myself I hated you, or I wouldn’t have been able to be upset with you at all. I would have let it go, and I would have never gotten over you. I would have just kept right on being your friend and following you, even when you didn’t want me or deserve it.” Jensen bites his lip. “I thought maybe if I hated you, I could get over you.”

“Did it work?”

Jensen shrugs. “I hate everybody now,” he says.

“I’m so miserable.” Jared drops back to his shoulder. “I’ve spent the last year wishing crossroads were real, Jen.”

Jensen takes a deep breath. He puts an arm around Jared’s shoulder, but doesn’t say anything.

“I would’ve made a deal in a heartbeat. So many times, I’ve thought that. You don’t know, Jensen.”

“I do.”

Jared freezes and Jensen takes a step back, making sure Jared is looking at him, and probably checking to make sure he really isn’t too drunk to know what he’s saying. “You were right, okay? I was scared of this and I didn’t want to get caught and I should have told you the first time I kissed you how much I care about you. I just didn’t know how. If I’d realized how much that meant to you, I would have learned how. God, I’ve been trying to think of some way to do it.”

“I love you usually works,” Jared says.

Jensen pulls back and looks Jared dead in the eye. “I love you, Jared. I’ve never stopped loving you, as much as it sucked.”

Jared kisses him again, and this time Jensen flings an arm around his neck, pulls him into the bedroom, letting the door slam behind them. They fall into bed, and Jared starts on top, kissing Jensen, somehow their positions get reversed.

Jared’s head presses into a pillow that smells just like Jensen, and it sends a hot spike through him. Jensen pulls his shirt over his head, his hands all over Jared’s bare chest as he kisses. Jared strokes up and down his spine, pulls him in until he feels the hard line of Jensen’s cock pressed against his thigh.

“Jensen, are we gonna…?”

Jensen nods, no time to think twice before he moves back down, lips on Jared’s skin.

“Jensen,” he says.

Jensen groans. “God, what? You don’t talk for months and now you won’t shut up?”

“Promise.”

“Whatever it is, I promise.” He smiles and claims another kiss.

Jared lets him have it, but doesn’t forget to pick the conversation up when they break for air. “Promise me you’re serious this time, Jensen. I don’t know what I’ll do if you wake up tomorrow regretting this.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Shh, Jared. I am serious, okay?”

“Forever?” he asks childishly.

Jensen’s smile finally reaches his eyes. “Forever,” he whispers into the crook of Jared’s neck. He presses a kiss there. “And ever,” he adds, moving down, pressing the kiss into Jared’s shoulder. “And ever,” he continues-chest, stomach, down and down, until Jensen’s got his mouth around Jared’s dick, and Jared has a way happier night than he expected or deserves.

_______________________________________________________________

Jared knows the tug that wakes him too well to pretend it’s something else, dismiss it, and go back to sleep. He tightens his arms and turns over in bed, pinning Jensen to the mattress with more force than he should probably be using.

“No,” he practically barks. “I swear to God, Jensen.”

“What?”

“You’re trying to leave. I wasn’t even awake yet and you’re already trying-what that fuck, man?”

Jensen looks at him confused for a few seconds, then breaks out laughing. Laughs at Jared, as if everything Jared begged him for last night, all those promises, are some really naïve joke he didn’t actually expect Jared to buy into.

He rolls away from Jensen, not quite able to look at him. His stomach is turning and there’s a cold, angry hatred beginning to bloom in his chest. In two years of fighting, one year not talking, Jared was never able to convince himself he actually hated Jensen. This is the first time, and it’s really his own damn fault-he should have known better than to listen.

“Leave, then,” Jared says, trying not to sound as upset as he is.

Jensen’s back pushes up behind him, and Jensen’s lips find Jared’s ear. “We’re in my bed, Jared, where am I gonna go?”

It’s a pretty valid question, but Jared’s still too shaken to let it go. “But you were leaving,” he insists.

“Dude, I need to take a piss,” he says.

There’s something fundamentally wrong in Jared’s life, because those are the most beautiful words he’s ever heard. It explains the laughing, and the leaving, and it means Jensen will be back for him in moments.

“Really?” Jared asks.

“Yeah. That okay with you, boss?”

Jared smiles. “Get out of my sight, you make me sick,” he says.

Jensen kisses him quickly on the back as he rises.

He wraps an arm around Jared a few minutes later when he returns to the bed, and Jared turns over, pillowing his head on Jensen’s chest.

Jensen smiles down at him warmly, moves a hair out of Jared’s face and smiles that same sweet smile Jared thought he’d hallucinated when they woke on the set the day before. “This is what I meant, you know,” he says.

“Huh?”

“Yesterday, the dream I have all the time. Waking up with you.”

Jared smiles and burrows into Jensen’s chest.

real person fic: cw, supernatural

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