Fic: Observation Period (Kirk/McCoy)
Title: Observation Period
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Bones helps Jim get back to his quarters and the observation period begins
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 3180
A/N: #3 in the Two Men & a Starship series. Follows #2: Bedside Manner Thank you to everyone who reads/comments! ♥
The walk to the captain’s quarters takes a while compared to normal. Jim thinks that it must be really late or early morning because they don’t pass many people on the way, which is good. He’s starting to feel worse and isn’t sure that he’d feel up to chatting with anyone yet. Besides that, he looks terrible and the robe he’s wearing doesn’t really do a lot to hide the bandages on his legs. It’s best if the crew doesn’t see their captain looking so weak, since that’s not good for morale. He also doesn’t really want any of them to see him at a rather vulnerable moment, but the morale thing sounds more professional and less self-focused, which is what he’s trying to be now that he’s a captain.
“You’ve lost weight,” Bones mutters. Jim is doing his best to walk, but his legs just aren’t cooperating very well, so Bones is bearing the brunt of it. For once, he isn’t even complaining about Jim leaning on him for support. But it looks like he’s found something else to bitch about instead. Jim doesn’t mind the grumbling, though, because it’s Bones’ way of showing that he cares.
“Have not,” he denies, even though he has no idea if he’s lost any or not. He’s eating normally, mostly, except for the times when he’s been throwing himself into work and forgetting about meal times, but those don’t happen too often.
“Yes, you have. I checked your chart. Not enough to be concerned, but you need to eat more,” he tells him in the ‘I’m a doctor, damn it’ tone. Only Bones could make bossy sound so good, not that it means it’s any easier to get scolded for something relatively silly like losing a little weight.
Jim frowns as they slowly make their way down the corridor of deck five. “I eat well enough. You can ask Scotty or Gaila or Chekov or Sulu, since I usually take my meals with one of them these days,” he says, unable to keep the ‘because you’re never around’ insinuation from his tone.
“It’s not just eating. I can feel the difference,” Bones points out. “Not in your weight, but in your body. You’re exercising too much without eating properly to balance it.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been, what, almost two months since you’ve touched me?” Alright, he completely failed at sounding unaffected that time. Again. Damn it.
“Not here and not now,” Bones says tightly. Jim glances at him and sees the nerve in his cheek twitching. It’s in the frustrated and angry way, not the aroused and wanting sex way.
“Fine. Whatever.” Jim grits his teeth because he knows that he just sounded like a teenager with his whole attitude thing. He isn’t a smartass kid anymore, yet he seems to fall into that familiar behavior whenever Bones pisses him off in certain ways.
When they reach his quarters, he types in his code and listens to the whoosh of the doors opening. There’s a trickle of sweat down his back just from the exertion of walking from the damn medical bay to his room, and his legs feel worse than after several miles of sprinting. Whatever those creatures were, he’s moved them high on his list of things to hate vehemently for fucking up his life. To make it worse, his skin is starting to itch beneath the bandages. He wants to scratch now that he’s acknowledged the itching.
“My legs itch,” he mutters crossly as he enters his room. He looks at the piled up blanket in the corner and sees that Athos is sleeping, curled up beneath the shelf where Jim now keeps Mac, safe and away from real drooling dogs with crushes on toys. “Did anyone remember to feed him?”
“He’s been fed. Spock has been checking on him since Scotty mentioned it,” Bones tells him. “I don’t know why you don’t let him keep the dog down in Engineering, since it has to be his fault he turned up in our transporter room.”
“Because Archer’s the reason you’re here, and I’m going to make sure that his dog is taken care of until he can get him back,” Jim says simply. “Besides, Mac likes the company, even if Athos drools too much and seems to be infatuated with him.” He smiles slightly. “So, Spock’s been coming by and cleaning up the puddles and stuff?”
“He might very well knock you unconscious if you say a word about it,” Bones warns. “Now, what’s this about itching?”
Jim is still amused at the vision of Spock kneeling to wipe up puddles of pee with Athos yapping around him, since Athos is very particular about his affection. He adores Jim, of course, but isn’t nearly as friendly to most others. Even puppies love him. It’s just a gift. That obviously doesn’t extend to alien creatures who eat flesh, however. Yet, when he thinks about it, he’s the only one they were trying to bite. Maybe that means something.
Or maybe not.
Bones makes an impatient noise, and Jim realizes that he hasn’t answered the question yet. He glances at Bones and shrugs. “It’s itching. Underneath the bandages. I really want to scratch it.”
“You can’t do that,” Bones tells him. “No touching until you have permission.”
“Where have I heard that before?” he mutters, moving his gaze over Bones before he forces himself to look away.
“You should lie down. I need to check your injuries and replace the bandages.” Bones ignores his remark, which isn’t that surprising. It wasn’t one of his better efforts, but he blames the medication.
“Got it, Doc.” Jim walks to his bed and removes the robe before he pulls his shirt over his head. If he felt better, he’d attempt to do something sexy and tempting to try to get a reaction out of Bones. He doesn’t really feel up to it at the moment, though, so he just lies down and sighs when his head hits the pillows.
Bones sits on the edge of the bed and opens the bag that he carried with him from medical. Jim watches him, staring openly again because he hasn’t been able to do so in weeks. Not since the avoidance shit started and Bones began hiding away in work instead of trying to deal with things happening between them. It’s so frustrating, which is a good thing to focus on while trying to distract himself from the itching and soreness.
“I can’t believe you got injured like this on your first landing mission,” Bones says quietly as he removes the bandages.
“I can’t believe it took me nearly two months before I ended up in medical. You should be proud of me for that.” Jim continues looking at Bones but lowers his gaze when the bandages are removed. He grimaces slightly when he sees his legs, which are pink and look somewhat scaly in a disturbing way. “I thought you said they were okay.”
“The only reason you haven’t is because you haven’t had an opportunity to do something stupid and reckless,” Bones mutters. “First planet you land on, you go off and get attacked by local poisonous creatures.” He shakes his head as he opens a tube. “Your legs are okay. They don’t look great at the moment, but that’s because you’re still healing. No scarring is definitely a good thing, so stop whining because they’re not perfect right now.”
Bones begins to rub lotion into his legs, his long fingers easing some of the soreness and the lotion causing the itching sensation to die down. It feels good, probably too good considering the fact that his cock is starting to perk up and wants to say hello to Bones. He looks at the ceiling because watching Bones isn’t helping with the arousal thing. “But you were able to fix me, so no real harm done. Other than being out of commission for a few days.”
“If the fabric of your pants hadn’t shown signs of damage from the toxin, we wouldn’t have known to look for that along with healing the bites. There would have been a lot more than harm done if you’d died on my damn operating table, Jim.” Bones presses his fingers more firmly into Jim’s leg.
“Damn it, Bones. It’s not like I went out of my way to entice the little bastards to have my legs as dessert,” he points out. His voice is low and hoarse, and he can’t believe that he’s actually getting hard from this. It’s just been so long since Bones has touched him, since he’s had hands on him intimately that aren’t his own. Bones smells good, too. The sheets haven’t smelled like him in forever, and Jim’s missed it. Missed him.
“No, but you put yourself between them and your crew. And, yeah, I get it. I get that you’re one of those captains who’ll do whatever it takes to keep your crew safe, even at the expense of yourself, and maybe that’s something I have to deal with because I’d put your safety above anything but you don’t seem to value your own life sometimes,” Bones says as he keeps moving his hands down Jim’s legs.
“I value my life,” Jim says firmly. “I might not always have in the past, I admit it, but I’m not like that anymore. Hell, I’m only twenty-five. Even in that other world, I lived to be much, much older than that, and I’m determined to double it, just to see if I can. But, you know, I’m not going to waste my life worrying about death. I was able to protect my crew this time. Next time, maybe I won’t be able to. It’s worth a few days of fucked up legs if it means they’re alive, Bones, because there’re going to be times when I can’t do anything to keep them safe.”
“Damn it, Jim. Do you have any idea--“ Bones trails off and looks at him, all intense gaze and pursed lips. God, he’s gorgeous. Jim can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t see it, not that he cares because it means Bones is all his. “You were unconscious, you asshole. For hours past the usual time. I kept thinking that maybe you wouldn’t wake up this time, that I’d never get to bitch at you again, that I couldn’t--And I know that you’d do it again without hesitation because it’s who you are.”
“It’s going to take a lot more than a few poisonous bites for me to ever leave you,” Jim says quietly. He licks his lips but doesn’t look away from Bones. “What’s wrong, Bones? The last few weeks, you’ve been avoiding me, hiding in work and always busy. I’ve noticed it, you know? How could I not? The thing is, I can tell that you still feel something for me, so I just don’t understand it.”
“It’s funny. I remember a time not that long ago when you didn’t want to talk about this kind of shit because neither of us is very good at it,” Bones murmurs as he looks down at Jim’s legs. “Now, you’re always wanting to talk about emotions and stuff, so damn curious to know what I’m thinking and feeling whenever you get focused on something. And, yeah, we’re getting better at it, I’m actually trying when I honestly never put much effort into it before, but we’re still not that great at it.”
“I’d say that it’s a guy thing, but there are some men out there who are damn good at the whole being sensitive thing.” Jim isn’t really one of them, but he knows that he’s not near as bad as some people. He reaches out and touches Bones’ shoulder. “Is that your way of saying you’re not going to talk about this?”
“Yeah,” Bones whispers, glancing up at him. “I’m just not ready to try to figure it out yet, Jim.”
“Oh.” Jim stares at the ceiling because he can’t look at Bones right now. He feels like he’s going to vomit, but it’d probably be even more humiliating to do when he can’t make it to the toilet without help. This hurts so fucking much more than his legs do.
“Jim, damn it. I didn’t mean--“ Bones curses under his breath, his accent thicker than Jim’s ever heard it before. “I’m not lettin’ you go, you asshole. I just don’t wanna talk about it now. Talkin’ isn’t gonna help anything, not when this is my problem to deal with.”
“You’re already letting me go, Bones. You’re hardly around me anymore unless there are other people there, too. You barely speak to me, don’t come around the bridge, don’t spend time with me. What am I supposed to think?” He rubs the heel of his hand against his temple.
“Yeah, well, there are always other people there,” Bones says bitterly. “Scotty to play cards, Sulu to give you fencing lessons, Chekov to give you food, Gaila to make you laugh, even Spock with the chess set and all those damn private meetings. I’m surprised you even notice when I’m not there.”
“I always notice you.” Jim frowns as he stares at Bones. “And, sure, there are people around sometimes, but they’re not you. I miss you. Miss my best friend. Miss my, well, fuck. Lover, even if that sounds ridiculous. You say that it’s your problem, but that’s a lie. If this whatever it is between us means something, then it’s our problem, isn’t it?”
“You need to calm down,” Bones tells him, sighing as he puts his fingers on the inside of Jim’s wrist. “Your heart is racing, and you’re agitating yourself. I have to be your doctor first, Jim, before I can be anything else.”
“You’re still avoiding it, though. Okay. You don’t want to talk about it. Fine. You say that you’re not letting me go, yet your actions would indicate that you are,” Jim says, not caring about heartbeats and pulses. “We agreed before the crew got here to keep doing what we’ve been doing, to just trust in it and see what happens, but you aren’t doing that, Bones. You’re running away from it, damn it, and I’m tired of trying to be mature and understanding and tolerant when all I want to do is tie you to my bed until you get past whatever it is making you run.”
“I’m not like you are, Jim. I can’t just wait and see what happens and frolic around like there aren’t any problems or concerns. I’m trying this jumping without looking thing, but it’s not easy. I’m not a simple man, and neither are you. We’re both complicated, and that just makes it even more difficult, doesn’t it?” Bones moves his thumb over Jim’s pulse point as he stares at him.
“I know you’re not like me. I know it isn’t all perfect. And, you know, I’m not frolicking around like it is. I’m really trying, Bones. More than I’ve ever tried anything before, because this matters to me. But the more I try, the faster you run,” he says, wishing he could understand. He normally knows Bones so well, can anticipate his reactions despite the fact that he can be damn unpredictable at times, but he’s totally clueless when it comes to Bones and relationships, obviously.
“It matters to me, too, Jim. There’s just so much…” Bones trails off and looks at the ceiling before he lets go of Jim’s wrist and scowls. “You’ve just woken up after being unconscious for nearly two days. You need to rest and calm down, not get stressed out and upset.”
“Don’t give me a hypospray,” he says quietly, backing off some because he doesn’t want to push so hard that Bones just leaves and decides that it doesn’t matter anymore. “I don’t want to get knocked out again, Bones. If I stop pushing you, will you promise to keep them away from me?”
“Jim.” Bones sighs his name and shakes his head slightly. “I’m not going to threaten you with medication because you’re forcing an issue that I’m not ready to talk about. I’m a little more professional than that, I hope.”
“I just…I don’t want to be unconscious again. It makes me groggy and messes my brain up,” he murmurs. “I want to be alert, while you’re here. You smell so good, and you’re touching me, and it’s been so long since you’ve been here with me.”
Bones stares at him, reaching out to touch Jim’s cheek. “You need your rest, Jim. If you’re going to get released to go back to work, you need to take it easy the next couple of days.”
“Alright.” Jim turns his head slightly and kisses Bones’ fingertips, managing not to cringe at the taste of the ointment. He hears the sharp inhalation of breath and would feel more smug about Bones’ reaction if he wasn’t anxious about everything they’d said, or hadn’t said, since getting to his room. Bones is just confusing him, which might actually be partially due to the medication because Jim certainly isn’t that mentally attentive right now. He watches Bones finish putting the ointment on his legs before wrapping them in new bandages. He scratches his belly and says, “They feel better. Don’t itch like before.”
“Good. Don’t scratch if they start to itch again. Just let me know, and I’ll take care of you,” Bones instructs as he puts the medical supplies away then walks away from the bed.
Jim closes his eyes and listens to the sounds coming from the bathroom: the flush of the toilet and the spray of water in the lavatory and footsteps as Bones steps back out. When the mattress shifts, he catches his breath, waiting and not daring to open even one eye in case it makes Bones go away.
“Open your mouth,” Bones murmurs. Jim obeys and feels a tablet on his tongue before a glass of water is pressed against his lips. He swallows the old-fashioned medication and listens to Bones put the glass on the table by his bed. “It should help with your head, though not as well as a hypospray would.”
“Thanks,” he says softly, keeping his eyes closed because he can feel the warmth of Bones next to him and can smell his familiar scent around him.
“I’d tell you not to scare me like that again, but we’re barely into the five years, so I’m not going to waste my breath.” Bones lies down next to him, and Jim can’t help but smile when he feels Bones’ arm rest across his waist. He’s taken of his shirt, which means there’s bare skin touching bare skin, and it feels so damn good.
“I was careful,” Jim points out. “And you fixed me.”
“Course I did. Not about to lose you,” Bones growls as he tightens his grip around Jim’s waist. He presses his lips lightly against Jim’s shoulder and sighs. “I’ve missed you, too.”
End
Note: At the end of the novelization, Archer’s beagle appears in the transporter room of the Enterprise. I have named him Athos because Archer’s beagle years before was named Porthos (on Enterprise) so it seemed appropriate.
#2: Bedside Manner | #4: Marked Man
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Summary: Bones helps Jim get back to his quarters and the observation period begins
Rating: Teen/PG13
Word Count: 3180
A/N: #3 in the Two Men & a Starship series. Follows #2: Bedside Manner Thank you to everyone who reads/comments! ♥
The walk to the captain’s quarters takes a while compared to normal. Jim thinks that it must be really late or early morning because they don’t pass many people on the way, which is good. He’s starting to feel worse and isn’t sure that he’d feel up to chatting with anyone yet. Besides that, he looks terrible and the robe he’s wearing doesn’t really do a lot to hide the bandages on his legs. It’s best if the crew doesn’t see their captain looking so weak, since that’s not good for morale. He also doesn’t really want any of them to see him at a rather vulnerable moment, but the morale thing sounds more professional and less self-focused, which is what he’s trying to be now that he’s a captain.
“You’ve lost weight,” Bones mutters. Jim is doing his best to walk, but his legs just aren’t cooperating very well, so Bones is bearing the brunt of it. For once, he isn’t even complaining about Jim leaning on him for support. But it looks like he’s found something else to bitch about instead. Jim doesn’t mind the grumbling, though, because it’s Bones’ way of showing that he cares.
“Have not,” he denies, even though he has no idea if he’s lost any or not. He’s eating normally, mostly, except for the times when he’s been throwing himself into work and forgetting about meal times, but those don’t happen too often.
“Yes, you have. I checked your chart. Not enough to be concerned, but you need to eat more,” he tells him in the ‘I’m a doctor, damn it’ tone. Only Bones could make bossy sound so good, not that it means it’s any easier to get scolded for something relatively silly like losing a little weight.
Jim frowns as they slowly make their way down the corridor of deck five. “I eat well enough. You can ask Scotty or Gaila or Chekov or Sulu, since I usually take my meals with one of them these days,” he says, unable to keep the ‘because you’re never around’ insinuation from his tone.
“It’s not just eating. I can feel the difference,” Bones points out. “Not in your weight, but in your body. You’re exercising too much without eating properly to balance it.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been, what, almost two months since you’ve touched me?” Alright, he completely failed at sounding unaffected that time. Again. Damn it.
“Not here and not now,” Bones says tightly. Jim glances at him and sees the nerve in his cheek twitching. It’s in the frustrated and angry way, not the aroused and wanting sex way.
“Fine. Whatever.” Jim grits his teeth because he knows that he just sounded like a teenager with his whole attitude thing. He isn’t a smartass kid anymore, yet he seems to fall into that familiar behavior whenever Bones pisses him off in certain ways.
When they reach his quarters, he types in his code and listens to the whoosh of the doors opening. There’s a trickle of sweat down his back just from the exertion of walking from the damn medical bay to his room, and his legs feel worse than after several miles of sprinting. Whatever those creatures were, he’s moved them high on his list of things to hate vehemently for fucking up his life. To make it worse, his skin is starting to itch beneath the bandages. He wants to scratch now that he’s acknowledged the itching.
“My legs itch,” he mutters crossly as he enters his room. He looks at the piled up blanket in the corner and sees that Athos is sleeping, curled up beneath the shelf where Jim now keeps Mac, safe and away from real drooling dogs with crushes on toys. “Did anyone remember to feed him?”
“He’s been fed. Spock has been checking on him since Scotty mentioned it,” Bones tells him. “I don’t know why you don’t let him keep the dog down in Engineering, since it has to be his fault he turned up in our transporter room.”
“Because Archer’s the reason you’re here, and I’m going to make sure that his dog is taken care of until he can get him back,” Jim says simply. “Besides, Mac likes the company, even if Athos drools too much and seems to be infatuated with him.” He smiles slightly. “So, Spock’s been coming by and cleaning up the puddles and stuff?”
“He might very well knock you unconscious if you say a word about it,” Bones warns. “Now, what’s this about itching?”
Jim is still amused at the vision of Spock kneeling to wipe up puddles of pee with Athos yapping around him, since Athos is very particular about his affection. He adores Jim, of course, but isn’t nearly as friendly to most others. Even puppies love him. It’s just a gift. That obviously doesn’t extend to alien creatures who eat flesh, however. Yet, when he thinks about it, he’s the only one they were trying to bite. Maybe that means something.
Or maybe not.
Bones makes an impatient noise, and Jim realizes that he hasn’t answered the question yet. He glances at Bones and shrugs. “It’s itching. Underneath the bandages. I really want to scratch it.”
“You can’t do that,” Bones tells him. “No touching until you have permission.”
“Where have I heard that before?” he mutters, moving his gaze over Bones before he forces himself to look away.
“You should lie down. I need to check your injuries and replace the bandages.” Bones ignores his remark, which isn’t that surprising. It wasn’t one of his better efforts, but he blames the medication.
“Got it, Doc.” Jim walks to his bed and removes the robe before he pulls his shirt over his head. If he felt better, he’d attempt to do something sexy and tempting to try to get a reaction out of Bones. He doesn’t really feel up to it at the moment, though, so he just lies down and sighs when his head hits the pillows.
Bones sits on the edge of the bed and opens the bag that he carried with him from medical. Jim watches him, staring openly again because he hasn’t been able to do so in weeks. Not since the avoidance shit started and Bones began hiding away in work instead of trying to deal with things happening between them. It’s so frustrating, which is a good thing to focus on while trying to distract himself from the itching and soreness.
“I can’t believe you got injured like this on your first landing mission,” Bones says quietly as he removes the bandages.
“I can’t believe it took me nearly two months before I ended up in medical. You should be proud of me for that.” Jim continues looking at Bones but lowers his gaze when the bandages are removed. He grimaces slightly when he sees his legs, which are pink and look somewhat scaly in a disturbing way. “I thought you said they were okay.”
“The only reason you haven’t is because you haven’t had an opportunity to do something stupid and reckless,” Bones mutters. “First planet you land on, you go off and get attacked by local poisonous creatures.” He shakes his head as he opens a tube. “Your legs are okay. They don’t look great at the moment, but that’s because you’re still healing. No scarring is definitely a good thing, so stop whining because they’re not perfect right now.”
Bones begins to rub lotion into his legs, his long fingers easing some of the soreness and the lotion causing the itching sensation to die down. It feels good, probably too good considering the fact that his cock is starting to perk up and wants to say hello to Bones. He looks at the ceiling because watching Bones isn’t helping with the arousal thing. “But you were able to fix me, so no real harm done. Other than being out of commission for a few days.”
“If the fabric of your pants hadn’t shown signs of damage from the toxin, we wouldn’t have known to look for that along with healing the bites. There would have been a lot more than harm done if you’d died on my damn operating table, Jim.” Bones presses his fingers more firmly into Jim’s leg.
“Damn it, Bones. It’s not like I went out of my way to entice the little bastards to have my legs as dessert,” he points out. His voice is low and hoarse, and he can’t believe that he’s actually getting hard from this. It’s just been so long since Bones has touched him, since he’s had hands on him intimately that aren’t his own. Bones smells good, too. The sheets haven’t smelled like him in forever, and Jim’s missed it. Missed him.
“No, but you put yourself between them and your crew. And, yeah, I get it. I get that you’re one of those captains who’ll do whatever it takes to keep your crew safe, even at the expense of yourself, and maybe that’s something I have to deal with because I’d put your safety above anything but you don’t seem to value your own life sometimes,” Bones says as he keeps moving his hands down Jim’s legs.
“I value my life,” Jim says firmly. “I might not always have in the past, I admit it, but I’m not like that anymore. Hell, I’m only twenty-five. Even in that other world, I lived to be much, much older than that, and I’m determined to double it, just to see if I can. But, you know, I’m not going to waste my life worrying about death. I was able to protect my crew this time. Next time, maybe I won’t be able to. It’s worth a few days of fucked up legs if it means they’re alive, Bones, because there’re going to be times when I can’t do anything to keep them safe.”
“Damn it, Jim. Do you have any idea--“ Bones trails off and looks at him, all intense gaze and pursed lips. God, he’s gorgeous. Jim can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t see it, not that he cares because it means Bones is all his. “You were unconscious, you asshole. For hours past the usual time. I kept thinking that maybe you wouldn’t wake up this time, that I’d never get to bitch at you again, that I couldn’t--And I know that you’d do it again without hesitation because it’s who you are.”
“It’s going to take a lot more than a few poisonous bites for me to ever leave you,” Jim says quietly. He licks his lips but doesn’t look away from Bones. “What’s wrong, Bones? The last few weeks, you’ve been avoiding me, hiding in work and always busy. I’ve noticed it, you know? How could I not? The thing is, I can tell that you still feel something for me, so I just don’t understand it.”
“It’s funny. I remember a time not that long ago when you didn’t want to talk about this kind of shit because neither of us is very good at it,” Bones murmurs as he looks down at Jim’s legs. “Now, you’re always wanting to talk about emotions and stuff, so damn curious to know what I’m thinking and feeling whenever you get focused on something. And, yeah, we’re getting better at it, I’m actually trying when I honestly never put much effort into it before, but we’re still not that great at it.”
“I’d say that it’s a guy thing, but there are some men out there who are damn good at the whole being sensitive thing.” Jim isn’t really one of them, but he knows that he’s not near as bad as some people. He reaches out and touches Bones’ shoulder. “Is that your way of saying you’re not going to talk about this?”
“Yeah,” Bones whispers, glancing up at him. “I’m just not ready to try to figure it out yet, Jim.”
“Oh.” Jim stares at the ceiling because he can’t look at Bones right now. He feels like he’s going to vomit, but it’d probably be even more humiliating to do when he can’t make it to the toilet without help. This hurts so fucking much more than his legs do.
“Jim, damn it. I didn’t mean--“ Bones curses under his breath, his accent thicker than Jim’s ever heard it before. “I’m not lettin’ you go, you asshole. I just don’t wanna talk about it now. Talkin’ isn’t gonna help anything, not when this is my problem to deal with.”
“You’re already letting me go, Bones. You’re hardly around me anymore unless there are other people there, too. You barely speak to me, don’t come around the bridge, don’t spend time with me. What am I supposed to think?” He rubs the heel of his hand against his temple.
“Yeah, well, there are always other people there,” Bones says bitterly. “Scotty to play cards, Sulu to give you fencing lessons, Chekov to give you food, Gaila to make you laugh, even Spock with the chess set and all those damn private meetings. I’m surprised you even notice when I’m not there.”
“I always notice you.” Jim frowns as he stares at Bones. “And, sure, there are people around sometimes, but they’re not you. I miss you. Miss my best friend. Miss my, well, fuck. Lover, even if that sounds ridiculous. You say that it’s your problem, but that’s a lie. If this whatever it is between us means something, then it’s our problem, isn’t it?”
“You need to calm down,” Bones tells him, sighing as he puts his fingers on the inside of Jim’s wrist. “Your heart is racing, and you’re agitating yourself. I have to be your doctor first, Jim, before I can be anything else.”
“You’re still avoiding it, though. Okay. You don’t want to talk about it. Fine. You say that you’re not letting me go, yet your actions would indicate that you are,” Jim says, not caring about heartbeats and pulses. “We agreed before the crew got here to keep doing what we’ve been doing, to just trust in it and see what happens, but you aren’t doing that, Bones. You’re running away from it, damn it, and I’m tired of trying to be mature and understanding and tolerant when all I want to do is tie you to my bed until you get past whatever it is making you run.”
“I’m not like you are, Jim. I can’t just wait and see what happens and frolic around like there aren’t any problems or concerns. I’m trying this jumping without looking thing, but it’s not easy. I’m not a simple man, and neither are you. We’re both complicated, and that just makes it even more difficult, doesn’t it?” Bones moves his thumb over Jim’s pulse point as he stares at him.
“I know you’re not like me. I know it isn’t all perfect. And, you know, I’m not frolicking around like it is. I’m really trying, Bones. More than I’ve ever tried anything before, because this matters to me. But the more I try, the faster you run,” he says, wishing he could understand. He normally knows Bones so well, can anticipate his reactions despite the fact that he can be damn unpredictable at times, but he’s totally clueless when it comes to Bones and relationships, obviously.
“It matters to me, too, Jim. There’s just so much…” Bones trails off and looks at the ceiling before he lets go of Jim’s wrist and scowls. “You’ve just woken up after being unconscious for nearly two days. You need to rest and calm down, not get stressed out and upset.”
“Don’t give me a hypospray,” he says quietly, backing off some because he doesn’t want to push so hard that Bones just leaves and decides that it doesn’t matter anymore. “I don’t want to get knocked out again, Bones. If I stop pushing you, will you promise to keep them away from me?”
“Jim.” Bones sighs his name and shakes his head slightly. “I’m not going to threaten you with medication because you’re forcing an issue that I’m not ready to talk about. I’m a little more professional than that, I hope.”
“I just…I don’t want to be unconscious again. It makes me groggy and messes my brain up,” he murmurs. “I want to be alert, while you’re here. You smell so good, and you’re touching me, and it’s been so long since you’ve been here with me.”
Bones stares at him, reaching out to touch Jim’s cheek. “You need your rest, Jim. If you’re going to get released to go back to work, you need to take it easy the next couple of days.”
“Alright.” Jim turns his head slightly and kisses Bones’ fingertips, managing not to cringe at the taste of the ointment. He hears the sharp inhalation of breath and would feel more smug about Bones’ reaction if he wasn’t anxious about everything they’d said, or hadn’t said, since getting to his room. Bones is just confusing him, which might actually be partially due to the medication because Jim certainly isn’t that mentally attentive right now. He watches Bones finish putting the ointment on his legs before wrapping them in new bandages. He scratches his belly and says, “They feel better. Don’t itch like before.”
“Good. Don’t scratch if they start to itch again. Just let me know, and I’ll take care of you,” Bones instructs as he puts the medical supplies away then walks away from the bed.
Jim closes his eyes and listens to the sounds coming from the bathroom: the flush of the toilet and the spray of water in the lavatory and footsteps as Bones steps back out. When the mattress shifts, he catches his breath, waiting and not daring to open even one eye in case it makes Bones go away.
“Open your mouth,” Bones murmurs. Jim obeys and feels a tablet on his tongue before a glass of water is pressed against his lips. He swallows the old-fashioned medication and listens to Bones put the glass on the table by his bed. “It should help with your head, though not as well as a hypospray would.”
“Thanks,” he says softly, keeping his eyes closed because he can feel the warmth of Bones next to him and can smell his familiar scent around him.
“I’d tell you not to scare me like that again, but we’re barely into the five years, so I’m not going to waste my breath.” Bones lies down next to him, and Jim can’t help but smile when he feels Bones’ arm rest across his waist. He’s taken of his shirt, which means there’s bare skin touching bare skin, and it feels so damn good.
“I was careful,” Jim points out. “And you fixed me.”
“Course I did. Not about to lose you,” Bones growls as he tightens his grip around Jim’s waist. He presses his lips lightly against Jim’s shoulder and sighs. “I’ve missed you, too.”
End
Note: At the end of the novelization, Archer’s beagle appears in the transporter room of the Enterprise. I have named him Athos because Archer’s beagle years before was named Porthos (on Enterprise) so it seemed appropriate.
#2: Bedside Manner | #4: Marked Man