Fic: Edge (Kirk/McCoy)
Title: Edge
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: It’s been a hell of a day
Rating: Adult/NC17
Word Count: 4175
A/N: #16 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Savor
It’s been a hell of a day. Fortunately, it’s Friday, so there’s a weekend coming up; one that won’t include brawls or trips to the hospital, which is even better. Jim has had one of those days where he didn’t plan to do much of anything, yet he’s been busy most of it with things that have just come up, so it’s actually nice to not have anything to do tonight except hang out with Bones.
Bones is still doing his experiment and working too hard, so Jim’s had to entertain himself during the days. Generally, that consists of driving Jess, exercising in some way or another, attending whatever events Pike tells him he should attend, and trying to stay busy because he gets tired of sitting around doing nothing. Today’s been a little different, though. Jim stares at the ceiling and taps his fingers on the blanket beneath him as he tries to figure out how his day shaped up the way it did.
Well, it seems that it started when he was crossing the quad and noticed Chekov getting a hard time from a couple of older students. Seeing a member of his crew looking uncomfortable isn’t something he can ignore, so he’d gone over and somehow, by the end of it, had found himself giving the kid hand-to-hand combat lessons. After that, he’d charmed his way into an alien defense sim that took up the rest of his morning. It had been a successful attempt, so he’d been in a good mood when he left.
When he ran into Old Spock by the admin building, he hadn’t been able to get out of having lunch with the guy. It was weird, mostly because Old Spock stared at him a lot and asked extremely nosy questions about everyone from Uhura to Other Spock to Bones. Jim didn’t have much to tell him about most of the people, since he barely knows them, and he didn’t want to tell him about Bones. He also didn’t really want to hear about Old Spock’s whole history with people that Jim hasn’t yet befriended in the same way or, hell, even met at this point in time. Maybe he looks like that Jim Kirk and shares some qualities with him, but they’re not the same, and Old Spock seems confused over that even as he spouts off wisdom and shit.
The whole thing has just left Jim feeling peculiar in a way he can’t really pinpoint. That guy is his best friend in another world or time or whatever the fuck it is. In this life, he can barely tolerate the asshole. Sure, he trusts him after everything that happened a few weeks ago, but he doesn’t really feel like he’d want to hang out with him anytime soon. That other world is fucked up, so he doesn’t want to know about how things might have happened if the Kelvin hadn’t been destroyed or any of that.
Bones isn’t his best friend there, though Old Spock says the three of them are good friends, but they didn’t even meet until Jim was older than he is now. That’s another reason this world is better, regardless of everything else. He can’t imagine being James Kirk without calling Bones his best friend. It has to be that way in every world, because it’s one of the few things in Jim’s life that’s ever just fit and made sense to him. He doesn’t want to hear that maybe it isn’t that way for other James Kirks.
He sighs and rolls onto his side, watching Bones read. This is boring, and his head’s starting to hurt. Even worse, Bones prefers to read tedious data about some ancient experiment instead of paying attention to him. Jim keeps trying to get him to put down his notes, but nothing’s worked yet. He sighs again, a little louder, but Bones ignores him. Fine. He’ll have to try something else.
His lips curve into a mischievous smile as he focuses on one of the not-serious-at-all thoughts that he’s had since his lunch. “If you met old-you, would you fuck yourself?” he asks curiously as he rolls over onto his back again and looks at the ceiling. “Would you fuck old-me?”
“What?” Bones sounds annoyed at being disturbed, but it’s not a tone that really worries Jim, so he doesn’t care.
“I ran into Old Spock today and had lunch with him,” he explains. “I was just wondering what it’d be like to run into another version of myself, which led to me wondering if I’d fuck myself. I’m pretty hot, you know?”
“I’m trying to review this data, Jim,” Bones says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Jim frowns and rolls his head slightly so Bones can see that he’s glaring.
“Sorry,” he says snidely. “Didn’t mean to interrupt such important work. Oh, wait. It’s really not that important since you’re doing it for fun. We really need to work on expanding your ideas of fun, by the way. Preferably ways that involve nudity and sweat.”
“It’s a little more important than your dilemma of whether you’d have sex with an older version of yourself,” Bones points out. “You already masturbate constantly, so I don’t see why you even have to consider it. Of course you’d do it, then you’d make me listen to every detail about how amazing you are. And my ideas of fun are acceptable, so shut up.”
“Nah, I’d just make you watch. Or maybe we’d just both share you.” He grins. “Double the pleasure and all that? If you ever come across Old Bones, promise me that you’ll find me so I can have you both at the same time. That’d be brilliant.”
“Old Bones probably has enough sense to stay away from you. I’m the crazy one.” Bones shakes his head, but Jim can tell that he’s distracted now.
“Do you think Uhura’s thought about having both the Spocks?” He isn’t sure if that’s kinda hot or just creepy as hell. He grimaces. “Forget I asked.”
“Forgotten.” Bones makes a face and turns his attention back to his notes.
“Old Spock asked about you. Seems you two were friendly and shit in his world. Time? I really don’t know what to call it. Anyway, you should call up Young Spock and ask him out for a beer or something.” He smiles up at the ceiling as he starts to count. He doesn’t even make it to two before Bones is cursing.
“Damn it, Jim. I don’t want to have a beer with that green-blooded asshole, old or young.” Bones glares at him.
He expects a reaction and gets one. Hearing Bones’ most common insult for Spock doesn’t amuse him as much as usual, though. He’s thinking about politics and the games that the ranked officers he’s met seem to like to play. “You shouldn’t call him that,” Jim says seriously, looking at Bones. “It makes you sound like a racist or some shit like that. I know you’re not, but other people might not realize it, and you could get into trouble.”
Bones blinks and lowers his PADD. He looks angry, and not in the sexy snarling way that Jim’s used to seeing when Bones is pissed at him. “I’m not a damn racist, Jim. I’ll call him whatever I want because I can’t stand him. He’s an asshole who tried to get you expelled and then stranded you on a planet where you nearly got yourself killed. Forgive me for not wanting to get a beer with the guy.”
“He also helped save the planet,” Jim points out, trying to be diplomatic because he needs for Bones to realize that there’s a risk, whether he means it or not. “I’m not going to run out and become his blood brother or any shit like that, but I’m trying to keep an open mind. My other self considers him a best friend, after all.”
“You’ve already got a best friend, so fuck your other self and his stupid friendships,” Bones tells him, snarling just a little. “What is this, Jim? I thought it was just you craving attention because it’s been fifteen minutes without any, but you’re lying there calling me a damn racist.”
“I never said you were. I said that other people might think that! The Federation is political, Bones, so you just need to be careful so you can get promoted and achieve rank eventually.” Jim’s trying to explain, but he doesn’t think he’s doing a good job of it. He studies Bones’ expression and frowns. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to get into this. I’ve just been spending so much time with the people who make those decisions, so I was trying to be helpful.” He’s also scared at the idea of Bones saying something wrong and getting separated from him, but it’s an irrational fear, so he doesn’t mention it.
“If I need your help in ass kissing, I’ll let you know. However, it’s unlikely that I will because I don’t give a shit what people think. This conversation is over.” Bones turns his chair around so that his back is to Jim, which speaks louder than words.
Jim sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. This isn’t what he’d intended to do. Bones is being stubborn and stupid, and Jim knows that he needs to get out of here before he either says something to make it worse or he throws a punch. “Yeah, you do that.” He gets his shoes and pulls them on, not bothering to get anything else. He knows he’ll be back after he’s let out this restless energy. “I’m going for a run. And maybe a swim. Fuck if I know. Later.”
After he leaves Bones’ dorm, he starts to run. He forces himself to think about the sound of his footsteps and a count and nothing else. It helps some, especially when he increases his speed until it almost hurts. By the time he reaches the athletic center, he’s sweaty and panting hard. The center is closed, but he’s not about to let that stop him from having a swim. This is one of the first places on campus that he learned how to break into, and he’s still never been caught.
Once he’s inside, he makes his way to the pool. It’s pretty dark, but he doesn’t ever turn on the lights. They might be noticed from outside, so he’s learned his way around. Besides, there are lights spread along the side of the pool that never go off. It’s been a while since he’s snuck in here for a swim. The last time was around Christmas when he dared Bones to join him for a midnight swim. Thinking about Bones isn’t going to help him relax. He’s still trying to figure out what he said or did to piss him off so much.
“I was just trying to help,” he mutters as he pulls his shirt over his head. When he heard Bones give his usual description of Spock, he had visions of Bones being sent off to some isolated planet as punishment. The warning was out of concern, not him accusing Bones of anything. Hell, his stepfather was a racist bastard who hated anyone who wasn’t completely human, so it’s not like he’s going to be best friends with someone like that, much less have this whatever it is with them. He doesn’t like to think about his stepfather or remember that part of his life, and it just makes him feel more fidgety than before.
A swim will help. He likes doing laps or challenging himself to hold his breath for as long as possible. He throws his shirt on the ground and kicks off his shoes before he unfastens his pants. Since he doesn’t have his swimsuit, he’s just going to swim naked. It’s how he usually swims when he sneaks in here alone anyway. When he’s undressed, he walks to the side of the pool and dives in. The water’s warm and feels good lapping at his bare skin as he starts to swim. He swims two laps quickly, not even trying to relax and enjoy it. On the third lap, he finally feels some of the tension leaving him.
When he reaches the wall and turns to start his fourth lap, an arm reaches out and grabs his shoulder. He shoves the arm away and goes under, swallowing water and coughing when he breaks the surface. “What the hell!”
“You can’t run away every time we have a damn argument, Jim.” Bones swims towards him out of the shadows. “One day, I won’t follow you. I almost didn’t tonight, in fact.”
“I didn’t ask you to follow me,” Jim points out, treading water as he looks at Bones and tries not to stare. “And I wasn’t running away. I needed to go before I fucked everything up.”
Bones reaches out to hold onto the side of the pool. “You told me where you were going before you ran off in a sulk. You knew that I’d follow you because that’s become our routine, hasn’t it? You have a fit and storm off, then I come find you after giving you time to calm down.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m some kid having a tantrum. I’m not.” Jim swims closer to the wall and leans against it. “I was angry and upset, so I wanted to do something before I fell into the normal pattern of hitting when I’m frustrated. Also, you seem to forget the times when you become a moody workaholic bastard and I make sure you eat and don’t work too hard.”
“You were angry? Damn it, Jim. I was the one having to sit there and listen to you talk about being best friends with that asshole then have you scold me for daring to insult him.” Bones reaches over and grips the back of Jim’s neck. “You’re lucky that I took the time to compose myself.”
“That was composing yourself?” Jim snorts. “You talk about me sulking, but you’re the one who turned his chair around and ignored me. Real mature there, Bones.”
Bones growls softly and shoves Jim against the side of the pool. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You need attention like everyone else needs oxygen. You couldn’t even give me an hour to work before you were trying to interrupt me.”
“I was trying to help. Yeah, okay, so I originally started talking because I was bored and you were focused on something else, but I really was just concerned.” He can feel the smooth tile of the pool behind his back as Bones presses him into it.
“You’re a brat, Jim. A twenty-five year old spoiled brat.” Bones shifts against him, and Jim can’t help but moan at the feeling of slick skin brushing his.
“Maybe I am, but it’s not like this is news to you,” Jim points out. He wraps his leg around Bones’ thigh and pushes into him. “If you can’t handle me, tell me.”
“Don’t push me tonight,” Bones warns as he reaches around to hold on to the floor by the pool and then presses against Jim.
“I like pushing you.” Jim reaches beside them to grip the edge. “Come on, Bones. You know what you want. I know, too. You like it this way, don’t you? You get off on it, even if you don’t want to admit it. You like fucking when you’re angry and barely in control, blaming me for every perverse desire in that brilliant mind of yours.”
“Bastard,” Bones growls as he lowers his head. He bites Jim’s lip, sucking and licking and nibbling, before kissing him. They lose their balance and sink underwater, both coughing as they break the surface.
Jim reaches up to wipe water from his eyes, feeling the ladder behind him as Bones pushes him into it. The force of it hurts, a rung hitting the spot on his lower back that’s still sore from last week’s fight. When he looks at Bones, he realizes that maybe he pushed too much this time. Bones still looks angry, the real kind of anger and not the ‘I’m going to kill you, Jim’ bemused kind.
Bones’ mouth is on his before he can say anything, not that he planned to. He likes it this way, sometimes. Not that he’s ever really been able to satisfy that urge before, since the one night stands that he picks up aren’t usually willing to bite or bruise him. Bones, though, is more than willing, and he’ll make it hurt without taking it too far. It’ll be like fighting, only better, and Jim needs that tonight. He needs to forget about other worlds and fears of losing Bones and memories that need to stay buried.
“Fucking brat,” Bones snarls against his mouth before kissing him again. Jim whines and tries to hold onto the ladder as best he can with Bones rubbing against him like this. He moves his legs around Bones and pushes forward, needing more friction than he’s getting right now. Bones moves his hands all over Jim, squeezing and pinching and bruising, not trying to be gentle at all.
He gasps when Bones suddenly bites his shoulder, tightening his grip on the metal rails of the ladder as Bones shifts their position. Their cocks are sliding against each other, and Jim’s skin feels so sensitive that every touch is sending sparks throughout his body. Bones is holding onto one of the rails for support, so Jim’s pressed into the ladder so much that he expects there’ll be marks on his back after. He doesn’t care. In a twisted way, he likes the marks that are left on his skin after being with Bones. He wonders if Bones feels that way about the marks that Jim makes on his body.
When he feels Bones’ hand on his ass, Jim rocks his hips forward so Bones can grip him easier. Instead of squeezing his asscheek, Bones moves his fingers along the cleft of his ass. Jim winces when Bones pushes a finger inside him without warning or preparation. It burns, just a little, and he clenches his ass unconsciously. He’s had a couple of women in the past who were into anal play, but their fingers hadn’t been as big as Bones’. He’s never had anything that size in him before, and it doesn’t feel like he thought it would.
“Fuck. So tight,” Bones mutters as he grinds into Jim. He starts to pull his finger out, and Jim tries to relax because he knows it’ll feel better that way. Bones shoves two fingers back in hard, curling them slightly as he scrapes his teeth against Jim’s neck and shoulder. As Bones starts to move his finger, Jim focuses on the pleasure of their cocks rubbing together and gradually begins to enjoy it more. He shudders when Bones rubs against his prostate, which causes Bones to rub it again.
Jim whimpers when he comes and loses his grip on the ladder. Bones keeps him from going under, holding him against the ladder as his orgasm hits. After he’s done, Bones removes his finger and urges him up the ladder. Jim is still breathing heavily as he pulls himself out of the water.
“On your back,” Bones demands as he follows. Jim lies down on the cool tile and looks up at Bones. He licks his lips, lowering his lashes slightly as he watches Bones stroke his cock. Bones straddles his chest and keeps jerking off, staring down at him as he moves his fist faster. Jim manages to close his eyes before Bones comes on his face. He can feel come on his cheeks and mouth, dripping from his chin, and he can’t believe that Bones just did that at the same time he finds it unbelievably hot that Bones just did that.
They don’t say anything as Bones moves off him, and Jim carefully opens his eyes. He reaches up to wipe his face, sucking come from his fingers as Bones stares. Jim can feel him watching, even though he hasn’t looked at him yet. The restless energy is sated, for now, though he’s already feeling the soreness, both from the run and from Bones. At the moment, he can’t even remember why they were fighting in the first place. His brain just isn’t working yet.
He rolls his head slightly and meets Bones’ concerned gaze. “Alright?” Jim asks quietly.
“Are you?” Bones asks, not answering the question.
“A little sore, but that’s nothing new.” Jim sits up and reaches across the floor for his shirt, which he uses to wipe his face. Before he can sit back, Bones is there, lightly touching his ass.
“Damn it, Jim. I think I made you bleed.” Bones barely gets the words out, his voice a hoarse whisper that sounds so heavy with guilt that Jim can practically see it.
“It’s fine. You didn’t really hurt me,” Jim tells him, slapping his hand away so he can sit up. “We got a bit rough, and I’m not used to having anything shoved up me.” He shrugs. “It happens.”
“Stop that.” Bones grips his chin and stares at him. “Don’t just shrug it off, James. I hurt you, even if it wasn’t intentional. Fuck, maybe it was. You pissed me off, and I was already annoyed that my experiment failed. I was sick of hearing about that other world where you and Spock flounce around as best friends and I’m just there then you were scolding me, and it just got to be too much.”
Jim shakes his head. “It wasn’t intentional, Bones. I’ve been hurt intentionally, and this wasn’t like that. You got carried away after I pushed you, and it’s not like you don’t have scratches and bites, either.” He makes a face. “And don’t call me James.”
Bones looks like he’s going to say something, but he just reaches over and trails his thumb along Jim’s jaw. “I like James,” Bones says, looking at him in a way that makes Jim think maybe he’s not just talking about the name. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well then, I’m sorry, too,” he tells him. “But, really, this is just us, isn’t it? We fight sometimes, and we get rough, and then you feel all guilty and I never really understand it because we both got off. Maybe we’re a little fucked up, but we make it work. Besides, it’s not like we’re always like this. If we were, then maybe you’d have a reason to worry.”
Bones leans forward and kisses him. It’s soft and almost too tender, but Jim’s learning to appreciate that kind of kiss, too. When Bones pulls back, he says, “To answer your question from earlier, I wouldn’t want the other version of you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t share you with the other me. You’re all I want.”
Jim smiles. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Bones ducks his head and runs his fingers through his wet hair. “We should probably get out of here before someone notices we’ve broken in. They’ll know tomorrow that someone’s had sex in the pool, which means they could just use our DNA, but I’d rather leave just in case they don’t bother tracing us.”
“Probably so,” Jim agrees. They’ve never been caught yet, but he doesn’t want to push his luck, especially if Bones is right about them being tracked down. He stands up and pulls on his underwear and pants, but his shirt’s wet and got come on it, so he just wads it up to take home to wash. He looks at Bones. “I’d already decided that I’d rather be this me than any other because I can’t really imagine a me without you right there.”
Bones looks up from the buttons that he’s fastening and stares at Jim. He clears his throat. “Even without your dad?”
“You can’t miss what you’ve never known,” Jim says simply, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Fortunately, Bones doesn't question him. Jim scratches his belly and smiles when he sees Bones’ crooked smile. “You can bitch to me about your experiment on the walk home, if you want. That’s not something you just have to keep to yourself anymore. I’m trying to get better about all that, you know?”
“Honestly? I’d rather not even think about it. I’ll tell you later.” Bones falls into step beside him as they head to the exit.
“Okay.” Jim nods, knowing that it’s not a case of Bones refusing to talk to him. He waits until they’re outside and clear of the building, making it without getting caught, before he says, “Then I’ll just tell you about my morning, and you can tell me that I talk too much.” He nudges Bones’ arm with his elbow before he begins to talk about Chekov’s lesson as they walk.
End
#15: Savor | #17: Heat
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: It’s been a hell of a day
Rating: Adult/NC17
Word Count: 4175
A/N: #16 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Savor
It’s been a hell of a day. Fortunately, it’s Friday, so there’s a weekend coming up; one that won’t include brawls or trips to the hospital, which is even better. Jim has had one of those days where he didn’t plan to do much of anything, yet he’s been busy most of it with things that have just come up, so it’s actually nice to not have anything to do tonight except hang out with Bones.
Bones is still doing his experiment and working too hard, so Jim’s had to entertain himself during the days. Generally, that consists of driving Jess, exercising in some way or another, attending whatever events Pike tells him he should attend, and trying to stay busy because he gets tired of sitting around doing nothing. Today’s been a little different, though. Jim stares at the ceiling and taps his fingers on the blanket beneath him as he tries to figure out how his day shaped up the way it did.
Well, it seems that it started when he was crossing the quad and noticed Chekov getting a hard time from a couple of older students. Seeing a member of his crew looking uncomfortable isn’t something he can ignore, so he’d gone over and somehow, by the end of it, had found himself giving the kid hand-to-hand combat lessons. After that, he’d charmed his way into an alien defense sim that took up the rest of his morning. It had been a successful attempt, so he’d been in a good mood when he left.
When he ran into Old Spock by the admin building, he hadn’t been able to get out of having lunch with the guy. It was weird, mostly because Old Spock stared at him a lot and asked extremely nosy questions about everyone from Uhura to Other Spock to Bones. Jim didn’t have much to tell him about most of the people, since he barely knows them, and he didn’t want to tell him about Bones. He also didn’t really want to hear about Old Spock’s whole history with people that Jim hasn’t yet befriended in the same way or, hell, even met at this point in time. Maybe he looks like that Jim Kirk and shares some qualities with him, but they’re not the same, and Old Spock seems confused over that even as he spouts off wisdom and shit.
The whole thing has just left Jim feeling peculiar in a way he can’t really pinpoint. That guy is his best friend in another world or time or whatever the fuck it is. In this life, he can barely tolerate the asshole. Sure, he trusts him after everything that happened a few weeks ago, but he doesn’t really feel like he’d want to hang out with him anytime soon. That other world is fucked up, so he doesn’t want to know about how things might have happened if the Kelvin hadn’t been destroyed or any of that.
Bones isn’t his best friend there, though Old Spock says the three of them are good friends, but they didn’t even meet until Jim was older than he is now. That’s another reason this world is better, regardless of everything else. He can’t imagine being James Kirk without calling Bones his best friend. It has to be that way in every world, because it’s one of the few things in Jim’s life that’s ever just fit and made sense to him. He doesn’t want to hear that maybe it isn’t that way for other James Kirks.
He sighs and rolls onto his side, watching Bones read. This is boring, and his head’s starting to hurt. Even worse, Bones prefers to read tedious data about some ancient experiment instead of paying attention to him. Jim keeps trying to get him to put down his notes, but nothing’s worked yet. He sighs again, a little louder, but Bones ignores him. Fine. He’ll have to try something else.
His lips curve into a mischievous smile as he focuses on one of the not-serious-at-all thoughts that he’s had since his lunch. “If you met old-you, would you fuck yourself?” he asks curiously as he rolls over onto his back again and looks at the ceiling. “Would you fuck old-me?”
“What?” Bones sounds annoyed at being disturbed, but it’s not a tone that really worries Jim, so he doesn’t care.
“I ran into Old Spock today and had lunch with him,” he explains. “I was just wondering what it’d be like to run into another version of myself, which led to me wondering if I’d fuck myself. I’m pretty hot, you know?”
“I’m trying to review this data, Jim,” Bones says slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. Jim frowns and rolls his head slightly so Bones can see that he’s glaring.
“Sorry,” he says snidely. “Didn’t mean to interrupt such important work. Oh, wait. It’s really not that important since you’re doing it for fun. We really need to work on expanding your ideas of fun, by the way. Preferably ways that involve nudity and sweat.”
“It’s a little more important than your dilemma of whether you’d have sex with an older version of yourself,” Bones points out. “You already masturbate constantly, so I don’t see why you even have to consider it. Of course you’d do it, then you’d make me listen to every detail about how amazing you are. And my ideas of fun are acceptable, so shut up.”
“Nah, I’d just make you watch. Or maybe we’d just both share you.” He grins. “Double the pleasure and all that? If you ever come across Old Bones, promise me that you’ll find me so I can have you both at the same time. That’d be brilliant.”
“Old Bones probably has enough sense to stay away from you. I’m the crazy one.” Bones shakes his head, but Jim can tell that he’s distracted now.
“Do you think Uhura’s thought about having both the Spocks?” He isn’t sure if that’s kinda hot or just creepy as hell. He grimaces. “Forget I asked.”
“Forgotten.” Bones makes a face and turns his attention back to his notes.
“Old Spock asked about you. Seems you two were friendly and shit in his world. Time? I really don’t know what to call it. Anyway, you should call up Young Spock and ask him out for a beer or something.” He smiles up at the ceiling as he starts to count. He doesn’t even make it to two before Bones is cursing.
“Damn it, Jim. I don’t want to have a beer with that green-blooded asshole, old or young.” Bones glares at him.
He expects a reaction and gets one. Hearing Bones’ most common insult for Spock doesn’t amuse him as much as usual, though. He’s thinking about politics and the games that the ranked officers he’s met seem to like to play. “You shouldn’t call him that,” Jim says seriously, looking at Bones. “It makes you sound like a racist or some shit like that. I know you’re not, but other people might not realize it, and you could get into trouble.”
Bones blinks and lowers his PADD. He looks angry, and not in the sexy snarling way that Jim’s used to seeing when Bones is pissed at him. “I’m not a damn racist, Jim. I’ll call him whatever I want because I can’t stand him. He’s an asshole who tried to get you expelled and then stranded you on a planet where you nearly got yourself killed. Forgive me for not wanting to get a beer with the guy.”
“He also helped save the planet,” Jim points out, trying to be diplomatic because he needs for Bones to realize that there’s a risk, whether he means it or not. “I’m not going to run out and become his blood brother or any shit like that, but I’m trying to keep an open mind. My other self considers him a best friend, after all.”
“You’ve already got a best friend, so fuck your other self and his stupid friendships,” Bones tells him, snarling just a little. “What is this, Jim? I thought it was just you craving attention because it’s been fifteen minutes without any, but you’re lying there calling me a damn racist.”
“I never said you were. I said that other people might think that! The Federation is political, Bones, so you just need to be careful so you can get promoted and achieve rank eventually.” Jim’s trying to explain, but he doesn’t think he’s doing a good job of it. He studies Bones’ expression and frowns. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to get into this. I’ve just been spending so much time with the people who make those decisions, so I was trying to be helpful.” He’s also scared at the idea of Bones saying something wrong and getting separated from him, but it’s an irrational fear, so he doesn’t mention it.
“If I need your help in ass kissing, I’ll let you know. However, it’s unlikely that I will because I don’t give a shit what people think. This conversation is over.” Bones turns his chair around so that his back is to Jim, which speaks louder than words.
Jim sits up and runs his fingers through his hair. This isn’t what he’d intended to do. Bones is being stubborn and stupid, and Jim knows that he needs to get out of here before he either says something to make it worse or he throws a punch. “Yeah, you do that.” He gets his shoes and pulls them on, not bothering to get anything else. He knows he’ll be back after he’s let out this restless energy. “I’m going for a run. And maybe a swim. Fuck if I know. Later.”
After he leaves Bones’ dorm, he starts to run. He forces himself to think about the sound of his footsteps and a count and nothing else. It helps some, especially when he increases his speed until it almost hurts. By the time he reaches the athletic center, he’s sweaty and panting hard. The center is closed, but he’s not about to let that stop him from having a swim. This is one of the first places on campus that he learned how to break into, and he’s still never been caught.
Once he’s inside, he makes his way to the pool. It’s pretty dark, but he doesn’t ever turn on the lights. They might be noticed from outside, so he’s learned his way around. Besides, there are lights spread along the side of the pool that never go off. It’s been a while since he’s snuck in here for a swim. The last time was around Christmas when he dared Bones to join him for a midnight swim. Thinking about Bones isn’t going to help him relax. He’s still trying to figure out what he said or did to piss him off so much.
“I was just trying to help,” he mutters as he pulls his shirt over his head. When he heard Bones give his usual description of Spock, he had visions of Bones being sent off to some isolated planet as punishment. The warning was out of concern, not him accusing Bones of anything. Hell, his stepfather was a racist bastard who hated anyone who wasn’t completely human, so it’s not like he’s going to be best friends with someone like that, much less have this whatever it is with them. He doesn’t like to think about his stepfather or remember that part of his life, and it just makes him feel more fidgety than before.
A swim will help. He likes doing laps or challenging himself to hold his breath for as long as possible. He throws his shirt on the ground and kicks off his shoes before he unfastens his pants. Since he doesn’t have his swimsuit, he’s just going to swim naked. It’s how he usually swims when he sneaks in here alone anyway. When he’s undressed, he walks to the side of the pool and dives in. The water’s warm and feels good lapping at his bare skin as he starts to swim. He swims two laps quickly, not even trying to relax and enjoy it. On the third lap, he finally feels some of the tension leaving him.
When he reaches the wall and turns to start his fourth lap, an arm reaches out and grabs his shoulder. He shoves the arm away and goes under, swallowing water and coughing when he breaks the surface. “What the hell!”
“You can’t run away every time we have a damn argument, Jim.” Bones swims towards him out of the shadows. “One day, I won’t follow you. I almost didn’t tonight, in fact.”
“I didn’t ask you to follow me,” Jim points out, treading water as he looks at Bones and tries not to stare. “And I wasn’t running away. I needed to go before I fucked everything up.”
Bones reaches out to hold onto the side of the pool. “You told me where you were going before you ran off in a sulk. You knew that I’d follow you because that’s become our routine, hasn’t it? You have a fit and storm off, then I come find you after giving you time to calm down.”
“Stop talking about me like I’m some kid having a tantrum. I’m not.” Jim swims closer to the wall and leans against it. “I was angry and upset, so I wanted to do something before I fell into the normal pattern of hitting when I’m frustrated. Also, you seem to forget the times when you become a moody workaholic bastard and I make sure you eat and don’t work too hard.”
“You were angry? Damn it, Jim. I was the one having to sit there and listen to you talk about being best friends with that asshole then have you scold me for daring to insult him.” Bones reaches over and grips the back of Jim’s neck. “You’re lucky that I took the time to compose myself.”
“That was composing yourself?” Jim snorts. “You talk about me sulking, but you’re the one who turned his chair around and ignored me. Real mature there, Bones.”
Bones growls softly and shoves Jim against the side of the pool. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? You need attention like everyone else needs oxygen. You couldn’t even give me an hour to work before you were trying to interrupt me.”
“I was trying to help. Yeah, okay, so I originally started talking because I was bored and you were focused on something else, but I really was just concerned.” He can feel the smooth tile of the pool behind his back as Bones presses him into it.
“You’re a brat, Jim. A twenty-five year old spoiled brat.” Bones shifts against him, and Jim can’t help but moan at the feeling of slick skin brushing his.
“Maybe I am, but it’s not like this is news to you,” Jim points out. He wraps his leg around Bones’ thigh and pushes into him. “If you can’t handle me, tell me.”
“Don’t push me tonight,” Bones warns as he reaches around to hold on to the floor by the pool and then presses against Jim.
“I like pushing you.” Jim reaches beside them to grip the edge. “Come on, Bones. You know what you want. I know, too. You like it this way, don’t you? You get off on it, even if you don’t want to admit it. You like fucking when you’re angry and barely in control, blaming me for every perverse desire in that brilliant mind of yours.”
“Bastard,” Bones growls as he lowers his head. He bites Jim’s lip, sucking and licking and nibbling, before kissing him. They lose their balance and sink underwater, both coughing as they break the surface.
Jim reaches up to wipe water from his eyes, feeling the ladder behind him as Bones pushes him into it. The force of it hurts, a rung hitting the spot on his lower back that’s still sore from last week’s fight. When he looks at Bones, he realizes that maybe he pushed too much this time. Bones still looks angry, the real kind of anger and not the ‘I’m going to kill you, Jim’ bemused kind.
Bones’ mouth is on his before he can say anything, not that he planned to. He likes it this way, sometimes. Not that he’s ever really been able to satisfy that urge before, since the one night stands that he picks up aren’t usually willing to bite or bruise him. Bones, though, is more than willing, and he’ll make it hurt without taking it too far. It’ll be like fighting, only better, and Jim needs that tonight. He needs to forget about other worlds and fears of losing Bones and memories that need to stay buried.
“Fucking brat,” Bones snarls against his mouth before kissing him again. Jim whines and tries to hold onto the ladder as best he can with Bones rubbing against him like this. He moves his legs around Bones and pushes forward, needing more friction than he’s getting right now. Bones moves his hands all over Jim, squeezing and pinching and bruising, not trying to be gentle at all.
He gasps when Bones suddenly bites his shoulder, tightening his grip on the metal rails of the ladder as Bones shifts their position. Their cocks are sliding against each other, and Jim’s skin feels so sensitive that every touch is sending sparks throughout his body. Bones is holding onto one of the rails for support, so Jim’s pressed into the ladder so much that he expects there’ll be marks on his back after. He doesn’t care. In a twisted way, he likes the marks that are left on his skin after being with Bones. He wonders if Bones feels that way about the marks that Jim makes on his body.
When he feels Bones’ hand on his ass, Jim rocks his hips forward so Bones can grip him easier. Instead of squeezing his asscheek, Bones moves his fingers along the cleft of his ass. Jim winces when Bones pushes a finger inside him without warning or preparation. It burns, just a little, and he clenches his ass unconsciously. He’s had a couple of women in the past who were into anal play, but their fingers hadn’t been as big as Bones’. He’s never had anything that size in him before, and it doesn’t feel like he thought it would.
“Fuck. So tight,” Bones mutters as he grinds into Jim. He starts to pull his finger out, and Jim tries to relax because he knows it’ll feel better that way. Bones shoves two fingers back in hard, curling them slightly as he scrapes his teeth against Jim’s neck and shoulder. As Bones starts to move his finger, Jim focuses on the pleasure of their cocks rubbing together and gradually begins to enjoy it more. He shudders when Bones rubs against his prostate, which causes Bones to rub it again.
Jim whimpers when he comes and loses his grip on the ladder. Bones keeps him from going under, holding him against the ladder as his orgasm hits. After he’s done, Bones removes his finger and urges him up the ladder. Jim is still breathing heavily as he pulls himself out of the water.
“On your back,” Bones demands as he follows. Jim lies down on the cool tile and looks up at Bones. He licks his lips, lowering his lashes slightly as he watches Bones stroke his cock. Bones straddles his chest and keeps jerking off, staring down at him as he moves his fist faster. Jim manages to close his eyes before Bones comes on his face. He can feel come on his cheeks and mouth, dripping from his chin, and he can’t believe that Bones just did that at the same time he finds it unbelievably hot that Bones just did that.
They don’t say anything as Bones moves off him, and Jim carefully opens his eyes. He reaches up to wipe his face, sucking come from his fingers as Bones stares. Jim can feel him watching, even though he hasn’t looked at him yet. The restless energy is sated, for now, though he’s already feeling the soreness, both from the run and from Bones. At the moment, he can’t even remember why they were fighting in the first place. His brain just isn’t working yet.
He rolls his head slightly and meets Bones’ concerned gaze. “Alright?” Jim asks quietly.
“Are you?” Bones asks, not answering the question.
“A little sore, but that’s nothing new.” Jim sits up and reaches across the floor for his shirt, which he uses to wipe his face. Before he can sit back, Bones is there, lightly touching his ass.
“Damn it, Jim. I think I made you bleed.” Bones barely gets the words out, his voice a hoarse whisper that sounds so heavy with guilt that Jim can practically see it.
“It’s fine. You didn’t really hurt me,” Jim tells him, slapping his hand away so he can sit up. “We got a bit rough, and I’m not used to having anything shoved up me.” He shrugs. “It happens.”
“Stop that.” Bones grips his chin and stares at him. “Don’t just shrug it off, James. I hurt you, even if it wasn’t intentional. Fuck, maybe it was. You pissed me off, and I was already annoyed that my experiment failed. I was sick of hearing about that other world where you and Spock flounce around as best friends and I’m just there then you were scolding me, and it just got to be too much.”
Jim shakes his head. “It wasn’t intentional, Bones. I’ve been hurt intentionally, and this wasn’t like that. You got carried away after I pushed you, and it’s not like you don’t have scratches and bites, either.” He makes a face. “And don’t call me James.”
Bones looks like he’s going to say something, but he just reaches over and trails his thumb along Jim’s jaw. “I like James,” Bones says, looking at him in a way that makes Jim think maybe he’s not just talking about the name. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well then, I’m sorry, too,” he tells him. “But, really, this is just us, isn’t it? We fight sometimes, and we get rough, and then you feel all guilty and I never really understand it because we both got off. Maybe we’re a little fucked up, but we make it work. Besides, it’s not like we’re always like this. If we were, then maybe you’d have a reason to worry.”
Bones leans forward and kisses him. It’s soft and almost too tender, but Jim’s learning to appreciate that kind of kiss, too. When Bones pulls back, he says, “To answer your question from earlier, I wouldn’t want the other version of you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t share you with the other me. You’re all I want.”
Jim smiles. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Bones ducks his head and runs his fingers through his wet hair. “We should probably get out of here before someone notices we’ve broken in. They’ll know tomorrow that someone’s had sex in the pool, which means they could just use our DNA, but I’d rather leave just in case they don’t bother tracing us.”
“Probably so,” Jim agrees. They’ve never been caught yet, but he doesn’t want to push his luck, especially if Bones is right about them being tracked down. He stands up and pulls on his underwear and pants, but his shirt’s wet and got come on it, so he just wads it up to take home to wash. He looks at Bones. “I’d already decided that I’d rather be this me than any other because I can’t really imagine a me without you right there.”
Bones looks up from the buttons that he’s fastening and stares at Jim. He clears his throat. “Even without your dad?”
“You can’t miss what you’ve never known,” Jim says simply, not wanting to talk about it anymore. Fortunately, Bones doesn't question him. Jim scratches his belly and smiles when he sees Bones’ crooked smile. “You can bitch to me about your experiment on the walk home, if you want. That’s not something you just have to keep to yourself anymore. I’m trying to get better about all that, you know?”
“Honestly? I’d rather not even think about it. I’ll tell you later.” Bones falls into step beside him as they head to the exit.
“Okay.” Jim nods, knowing that it’s not a case of Bones refusing to talk to him. He waits until they’re outside and clear of the building, making it without getting caught, before he says, “Then I’ll just tell you about my morning, and you can tell me that I talk too much.” He nudges Bones’ arm with his elbow before he begins to talk about Chekov’s lesson as they walk.
End
#15: Savor | #17: Heat