Fic: Break (Kirk/McCoy)
Title: Break
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: Jim & Bones take a drive along the coast
Rating: Teen [Language]
Word Count: 3080
A/N: #7 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Thrust. Also, I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who is commenting on this series. I'm so glad y'all are enjoying it!
There needs to be a class in the Officer Training curriculum that involves learning how to be charming and persuasive. Jim excels in that area, so he isn’t worried about himself once he becomes Captain for more than a couple of days, but his fellow future officers of the Federation are dreadful at that aspect of life. It’s an area that really benefits an officer, too, so he doesn’t understand why there isn’t something to help those poor, unfortunate souls who lack his natural abilities. Starfleet can only teach so much, he guesses, but it’s pathetic how utterly charmless most of the others in the training program have turned out to be.
It isn’t anything that he’s particularly noticed before, or maybe he just hasn’t given a shit because he’s been focused on himself, but he’s seen it in action today. Should that be inaction? He considers that question as he ducks behind a large group to avoid Mrs. Cavanaugh. She’s the wife of the professor throwing this little gathering, since he can’t call it a party unless there are drunk people and women barely wearing their clothes, and she’s got the most wandering hands of anyone over sixty that he’s ever met.
That’s one instance when his natural charm earned him a pinch on the ass that he thinks probably crossed some lines somewhere, not that he really cares all that much. If anything, he now knows of someone else who works for the Federation that he can influence with a smile and wink. Still, this is a gathering of his fellow future officer candidates and some Very Important and Influential People, so he’d rather remain professional and not get caught having his ass pinched.
He can’t believe how few people are actually mingling. It’s like half of his classmates just want to stand around huddled together. Is that how they’re going to be as captains? What sort of success rate will they possibly have if they can’t talk to strangers? Half of a captain’s job is dealing with strangers, both friend and enemy alike. Hell, their crews aren’t likely to respect them if they’re this damn quiet and awkward on a ship. He was only captain for a short time, but his crew loved him. And, if they didn’t, they at least respected him, which is more important than anything else.
By the time the gathering ends, he’s made more than a dozen contacts and has identified a handful of people who could be useful to him in the future. The best part is that he’s managed to get most of those before they even find out that he’s that James Kirk, from the Enterprise. He’s completely willing to play that card when necessary, since all of it’s true and he likes the attention, but it’s good to know that he’s going to go far with his natural gifts, too. Once he’s made captain, he doesn’t look beyond that for future promotion because he knows that’s what he wants. Besides, there’s a difference in being charming and persuasive versus having to kiss so much ass to be political like the higher ranks have to do.
As he leaves the room, he decides that he won’t make any suggestions to Starfleet about that class. Really, these people are his competition when it comes to future appointments, so he should be glad that they’re a bunch of boring failures when it comes to social skills. Besides, a good portion of his program was lost in the attack by the Romulans, so he can’t really complain that those left aren’t good at chatting up influential people. At least they’re alive.
When he gets closer to the parking lot, he notices someone straddling Jessica. In the few seconds before he recognizes the person, he’s preparing himself for a fight. Fortunately, he sees that it’s Bones before he yells out a warning. It’s an unexpected treat, since Jim didn’t think they’d be getting together until later. It’s Friday night, so he figured they’d go to the bar, maybe play some pool. Tomorrow night, they’re meeting some of the boys for a night of drinking, which should be fun, even if Jim’s wondering how he’s going to maintain some sort of separation between ‘hanging with the boys with my best friend’ and ‘hanging with the boys with my best friend that I’m fucking’.
“Hey, Bones,” he greets as he gets closer. “Surprised to see you here.”
Bones looks up, and Jim’s smile fades. His friend looks shaken, and not in a good way. “Can we go for a ride?”
“Yeah. Of course. Jess is always willing.” He steps closer and puts his hand on Bones’ shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Not now.” Bones shakes his head. “I just want to get out of here. Don’t suppose I can drive her?”
Jim tightens his grip on his keys and shakes his head slightly. “Sorry, Bones. No one drives my girl but me.”
“Possessive bastard,” Bones mutters, but there’s not much emotion behind the words. That, in itself, worries Jim because Bones never sounds so detached when insulting him.
“That I am,” he agrees. Bones slides back on the seat, and Jim straddles it in front of him. It isn’t the easiest way to get seated, but Bones is acting weird, so he doesn’t want to point that out. He starts up Jessica and feels Bones moves closer to him. “Anywhere in particular?”
“Just drive.” Bones wraps his arms around Jim’s middle and puts his chin on his shoulder. “Fast. You can go as fast as you want.”
Damn. Something has to be wrong if Bones is encouraging him to speed. Normally, he’d get some warnings about limits and killing them with his reckless driving. He can’t believe how fast his good humor from having a successful round at that gathering has dissipated when faced with an upset Bones. It’s a little scary, really, which is why he decides not to think about it and question why his happiness seems to now be somewhat dependent on Bones.
“Well, Jess. You heard the man,” he murmurs before he revs her engine then takes off. He drives them off campus and heads towards the coastal highway. It isn’t as deserted as his favorite routes, generally, but Bones always seems to enjoy drives along the ocean.
Bones tightens his grip around Jim’s waist as they pick up speed. He doesn’t say anything as they drive, but he moves closer, pressing himself completely against Jim’s back. Jim listens to the steady breathing near his ear and goes faster as the road opens up more. He keeps an eye on the horizon and one on the gas tank, not wanting to get so focused that they end up stranded somewhere because he isn’t paying attention to practical things.
They drive for over an hour before he sees an empty spot of beach and decides to stop for a rest. “Stopping up here,” he says.
“Keep driving, Jim. Can’t you go any faster?” Bones bites his neck, hard. The challenge is impossible to resist.
Jim accelerates, and they pass the empty beach in a blur. They keep driving until he sees that they’re getting low on fuel. When he stops to get gas, Bones goes to the bathroom, so Jim buys them some chips, water, and packaged sandwiches while he waits. He gets those things put away before Bones returns.
“They need to clean their toilet. It doesn’t look like it’s seen cleaning fluid in a decade, at least,” Bones mutters as he reaches Jessica. “Completely unsanitary.”
“I’ll be sure not to touch anything but my cock then,” Jim tells him, trying for a smile but only receiving a slight twist of lips in reply. He goes to use the toilet and agrees with Bones’ assessment. It’s dirty and smells like urine and old socks, which isn’t a good combination at all. When he returns, he scuffs his boots against the pavement. “I don’t even want to know what was making the floor sticky.”
Bones snorts. “I was tempted to take a sample back to the lab but figured it was better not knowing.” He runs his fingers through his hair, leaving it mussed in a way that Jim finds distracting. “Tank is full, so we can go.”
“Alright.” Jim sits down and waits for Bones to get into place behind him before he takes off. They keep driving away from San Francisco, and he has to admit that the sky looks amazing as the sun is starting to set. They’ve been driving for at least another hour since leaving the station, so he goes ahead and slows down before driving them off onto another section of beach.
“Why are we stopping?” Bones asks when Jim turns Jessica’s engine off.
“Because we’ve been driving for a couple of hours, and I’m hungry. Besides, the view is gorgeous,” Jim says simply. Bones stands up and looks annoyed, but Jim tries not to care because, really, he wants a short break, even if Bones doesn’t talk to him at all.
“Whatever would all your conquests say if they heard you going on about sunsets and views?” Bones scowls and walks a few steps away from Jessica.
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Jim shrugs then opens the storage to retrieve the bag of stuff he bought.
“They’d probably coo over what a sensitive guy you are or some shit that makes you even more appealing to them.” Bones glances at him. “What’d you buy?”
“I’m always appealing, Bones. It’s just who I am.”Jim smiles as he walks away from the parking area and onto the stretch of sand. Well, some sand and mostly rock. “Food. Water. Would have got beer, but I figured it wouldn’t taste so good hot.”
“Conceited asshole.” Bones follows him and sits down, staring out at the water as Jim opens the bag.
“It’s not conceit to be self-aware,” Jim points out as he holds out a warm bottle of water. Bones takes it without looking at him. He frowns and reaches for one of the sandwiches.
“Damn it, Jim. You didn’t get another of those, did you? That’s probably what made you sick the other day,” Bones says in an annoyed tone.
“I thought it was the cold pizza, Doc.” Jim tosses a sandwich next to Bones along with a bag of chips. “It’s what they had, and I’m hungry. That so called party only had fancy hors d'oeuvres that were bite size and not very good.”
“So called party?” Bones picks up the bag of chips and opens it. “Why, pray tell, didn’t it earn the James T. Kirk party seal of approval?”
“No one got drunk. The women were all fully clothed. No one passed out in the corner or got caught having sex.” He ticked off various reasons on his fingers. “Cavanaugh isn’t the type to host a real party, by my definition. His wife might, though. She’s got grabby hand syndrome.”
“You can have a party without drunken sex, you know?” Bones shakes his head before munching on a handful of chips.
“Yeah, maybe, but it wouldn’t be my type of party.” Jim grins before taking a bite of his sandwich. It isn’t too bad, though he’d classify it as mystery meat and not ham. He looks at Bones and stares at his profile for a few minutes before he speaks. “So, you gonna tell me why you wanted to leave so badly?”
“If I say no, would you shut the fuck up and stop asking?” Bones glances at him and frowns. “Nevermind. I know the answer to that question.”
“I can show restraint sometimes, you know?” he mutters but doesn’t dispute the fact that he’s not likely to just let Bones not answer.
“I just needed to get away. I needed to go,” Bones says finally. It’s not exactly an answer, but Jim can understand it.
It’s how he feels most nights when he starts pacing and itching to do something. He’s been restless like that since he was a kid, but it’s been worse since he finally made it into space and captained the Enterprise. He belongs up there, with his ship, not stuck down here waiting for bureaucracy to tell him what he’s doing next. Even though it’s something he deals with a lot, Bones doesn’t really seem to be that way, so something had to have happened. It’s obvious that he’s not getting a better answer, though.
Bones crunches up his empty bag and mutters something under his breath, too low for Jim to hear. “Sorry, missed that bit,” he says, not caring that the polite thing to do is probably shut up and let it drop.
“I needed you,” Bones practically growls, staring straight at the sky instead of looking at Jim. It’s probably good that he’s not looking because Jim knows he must look ridiculous with his mouth gaping open. Bones needed him.
He clears his throat and looks at the sky, trying to figure out what he’s supposed to say to that. Bones doesn’t need anyone, as he makes clear at any opportunity. He’s like Jim that way, really, which is one reason they probably understand each other so well. It’s just really bizarre to hear Bones admit to something like that, since he’s worse than even Jim is when it comes to talking about personal shit like that.
“You’ve got me,” he says quietly, glancing at Bones quickly before looking back at the sunset. It’s true, but he feels nauseous after saying it like that. He’d do anything for Bones, and it scares him more than he wants to acknowledge.
Bones reaches over, and Jim feels the rough pads of his fingers against his cheek. He turns his head towards him, tilting it back slightly as Bones leans in to kiss him. It’s a slow kiss, almost teasing, and Jim closes his eyes as Bones strokes his face. Being touched by a man is different than when women touch him. It’s not even that Bones is usually more rough and firm with the touching. It’s just not delicate and soft, even when it’s almost gentle like it is right now. Jim likes the difference, more than he ever thought he would.
“We should get back.” Bones’ words make Jim open his eyes, and he blinks when he finds Bones staring down at him. He licks his lips and nods once, even though he really wants to stay there and kiss more. Bones drags his thumb along Jim’s jaw. “Your eyes are really beautiful.” Bones blinks and drops his hand, looking slightly uncomfortable all of a sudden.
“Thanks.” He ducks his head and grins at the compliment, deciding not to try to figure out how Bones’ mind works right now because that’s too difficult a job. “And, yeah, we should probably go. It’s gonna be pretty dark, I figure,” he says as he stands up.
The ride back to San Francisco is quiet. Bones holds him tight but his hands never stray lower than Jim’s waist. When they enter the campus, Jim takes the turn that will drive them to Bones’ dorm. “Your place,” Bones tells him. Jim doesn’t argue. He just takes a different turn and drives back to his dorm.
When they arrive, he parks and covers Jessica up for the night before they go inside. Bones doesn’t say anything as they walk up five flights of stairs. After Jim types in his code, they enter his room. He’s surprised, and slightly disappointed, when Bones just walks past him. “Well, here we are. Home sweet home for the next however long it takes them to get their heads out of their asses to make official assignments.”
“Damn it, Jim. You’re such a slob,” Bones mutters as he reaches down to pick up an empty pizza box that’s covered with dirty clothes. “And you eat too much junk food.”
“I keep my work space organized and know where everything is,” Jim informs him. “And there’s no such thing as too much junk food, Bones.”
“As your doctor, I can safely say that’s bullshit. If you don’t get yourself killed being a reckless asshole, then you’ll die from clogged arteries or high cholesterol,” Bones tells him. He leans down and picks up a discarded t-shirt. “I lost a patient today.”
“Everyone dies, Doctor. Least I’ll have fun before I do.” When Bones mentions losing a patient, Jim grimaces. Fuck. Here he is talking about dying, and Bones is dealing with that. He bites his lip and takes a step towards Bones. “I’m sorry.”
“She was just a kid, Jim. Not too many years older than Jo. I had to tell her parents.” Bones trails off as his voice becomes lower. Jim hesitantly touches his shoulder. “Her father. I had to tell her father that she’s not waking up. Never waking up. I fucking hate this.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, feeling at a total loss. Bones has never been this broken about his job before, so he doesn’t know what to do or say. The fact that it was a kid is probably the reason, he knows, but knowing that doesn’t help. He squeezes Bones’ shoulder.
Bones turns suddenly and kisses him, a desperate sort of kiss that Jim can understand. He returns the kiss and moves his arms around Bones. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it being Joanna lying there,” Bones whispers before he kisses him again.
Jim pulls back and takes Bones’ hand. He doesn’t say anything as he leads him to the bed. There isn’t anything he can say to make it better, but he can try to do something to help. They take off their shoes, and Bones lies down. When Jim starts to pull his shirt over his head, Bones reaches out and touches his hands, stopping him from getting undressed. Bones doesn’t say anything; he just shakes his head slightly.
Jim swallows when he realizes that Bones doesn’t want sex, feeling nervous and slightly insecure as the one definite thing he could do to make Bones feel better is taken away. Bones tugs on his hands, pulling him down, and he slowly kneels on the mattress before he shifts so that he’s lying beside Bones. When Bones rolls onto his side, Jim does the same. They stare at each other in silence before Bones leans forward. Jim presses closer and touches his face, stroking his unshaven jaw as they lie there kissing.
End
#6: Thrust | #8: Crash
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Fandom: Star Trek XI (spoilers)
Summary: Jim & Bones take a drive along the coast
Rating: Teen [Language]
Word Count: 3080
A/N: #7 in the Two Men & a Motorbike series. Follows Thrust. Also, I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who is commenting on this series. I'm so glad y'all are enjoying it!
There needs to be a class in the Officer Training curriculum that involves learning how to be charming and persuasive. Jim excels in that area, so he isn’t worried about himself once he becomes Captain for more than a couple of days, but his fellow future officers of the Federation are dreadful at that aspect of life. It’s an area that really benefits an officer, too, so he doesn’t understand why there isn’t something to help those poor, unfortunate souls who lack his natural abilities. Starfleet can only teach so much, he guesses, but it’s pathetic how utterly charmless most of the others in the training program have turned out to be.
It isn’t anything that he’s particularly noticed before, or maybe he just hasn’t given a shit because he’s been focused on himself, but he’s seen it in action today. Should that be inaction? He considers that question as he ducks behind a large group to avoid Mrs. Cavanaugh. She’s the wife of the professor throwing this little gathering, since he can’t call it a party unless there are drunk people and women barely wearing their clothes, and she’s got the most wandering hands of anyone over sixty that he’s ever met.
That’s one instance when his natural charm earned him a pinch on the ass that he thinks probably crossed some lines somewhere, not that he really cares all that much. If anything, he now knows of someone else who works for the Federation that he can influence with a smile and wink. Still, this is a gathering of his fellow future officer candidates and some Very Important and Influential People, so he’d rather remain professional and not get caught having his ass pinched.
He can’t believe how few people are actually mingling. It’s like half of his classmates just want to stand around huddled together. Is that how they’re going to be as captains? What sort of success rate will they possibly have if they can’t talk to strangers? Half of a captain’s job is dealing with strangers, both friend and enemy alike. Hell, their crews aren’t likely to respect them if they’re this damn quiet and awkward on a ship. He was only captain for a short time, but his crew loved him. And, if they didn’t, they at least respected him, which is more important than anything else.
By the time the gathering ends, he’s made more than a dozen contacts and has identified a handful of people who could be useful to him in the future. The best part is that he’s managed to get most of those before they even find out that he’s that James Kirk, from the Enterprise. He’s completely willing to play that card when necessary, since all of it’s true and he likes the attention, but it’s good to know that he’s going to go far with his natural gifts, too. Once he’s made captain, he doesn’t look beyond that for future promotion because he knows that’s what he wants. Besides, there’s a difference in being charming and persuasive versus having to kiss so much ass to be political like the higher ranks have to do.
As he leaves the room, he decides that he won’t make any suggestions to Starfleet about that class. Really, these people are his competition when it comes to future appointments, so he should be glad that they’re a bunch of boring failures when it comes to social skills. Besides, a good portion of his program was lost in the attack by the Romulans, so he can’t really complain that those left aren’t good at chatting up influential people. At least they’re alive.
When he gets closer to the parking lot, he notices someone straddling Jessica. In the few seconds before he recognizes the person, he’s preparing himself for a fight. Fortunately, he sees that it’s Bones before he yells out a warning. It’s an unexpected treat, since Jim didn’t think they’d be getting together until later. It’s Friday night, so he figured they’d go to the bar, maybe play some pool. Tomorrow night, they’re meeting some of the boys for a night of drinking, which should be fun, even if Jim’s wondering how he’s going to maintain some sort of separation between ‘hanging with the boys with my best friend’ and ‘hanging with the boys with my best friend that I’m fucking’.
“Hey, Bones,” he greets as he gets closer. “Surprised to see you here.”
Bones looks up, and Jim’s smile fades. His friend looks shaken, and not in a good way. “Can we go for a ride?”
“Yeah. Of course. Jess is always willing.” He steps closer and puts his hand on Bones’ shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Not now.” Bones shakes his head. “I just want to get out of here. Don’t suppose I can drive her?”
Jim tightens his grip on his keys and shakes his head slightly. “Sorry, Bones. No one drives my girl but me.”
“Possessive bastard,” Bones mutters, but there’s not much emotion behind the words. That, in itself, worries Jim because Bones never sounds so detached when insulting him.
“That I am,” he agrees. Bones slides back on the seat, and Jim straddles it in front of him. It isn’t the easiest way to get seated, but Bones is acting weird, so he doesn’t want to point that out. He starts up Jessica and feels Bones moves closer to him. “Anywhere in particular?”
“Just drive.” Bones wraps his arms around Jim’s middle and puts his chin on his shoulder. “Fast. You can go as fast as you want.”
Damn. Something has to be wrong if Bones is encouraging him to speed. Normally, he’d get some warnings about limits and killing them with his reckless driving. He can’t believe how fast his good humor from having a successful round at that gathering has dissipated when faced with an upset Bones. It’s a little scary, really, which is why he decides not to think about it and question why his happiness seems to now be somewhat dependent on Bones.
“Well, Jess. You heard the man,” he murmurs before he revs her engine then takes off. He drives them off campus and heads towards the coastal highway. It isn’t as deserted as his favorite routes, generally, but Bones always seems to enjoy drives along the ocean.
Bones tightens his grip around Jim’s waist as they pick up speed. He doesn’t say anything as they drive, but he moves closer, pressing himself completely against Jim’s back. Jim listens to the steady breathing near his ear and goes faster as the road opens up more. He keeps an eye on the horizon and one on the gas tank, not wanting to get so focused that they end up stranded somewhere because he isn’t paying attention to practical things.
They drive for over an hour before he sees an empty spot of beach and decides to stop for a rest. “Stopping up here,” he says.
“Keep driving, Jim. Can’t you go any faster?” Bones bites his neck, hard. The challenge is impossible to resist.
Jim accelerates, and they pass the empty beach in a blur. They keep driving until he sees that they’re getting low on fuel. When he stops to get gas, Bones goes to the bathroom, so Jim buys them some chips, water, and packaged sandwiches while he waits. He gets those things put away before Bones returns.
“They need to clean their toilet. It doesn’t look like it’s seen cleaning fluid in a decade, at least,” Bones mutters as he reaches Jessica. “Completely unsanitary.”
“I’ll be sure not to touch anything but my cock then,” Jim tells him, trying for a smile but only receiving a slight twist of lips in reply. He goes to use the toilet and agrees with Bones’ assessment. It’s dirty and smells like urine and old socks, which isn’t a good combination at all. When he returns, he scuffs his boots against the pavement. “I don’t even want to know what was making the floor sticky.”
Bones snorts. “I was tempted to take a sample back to the lab but figured it was better not knowing.” He runs his fingers through his hair, leaving it mussed in a way that Jim finds distracting. “Tank is full, so we can go.”
“Alright.” Jim sits down and waits for Bones to get into place behind him before he takes off. They keep driving away from San Francisco, and he has to admit that the sky looks amazing as the sun is starting to set. They’ve been driving for at least another hour since leaving the station, so he goes ahead and slows down before driving them off onto another section of beach.
“Why are we stopping?” Bones asks when Jim turns Jessica’s engine off.
“Because we’ve been driving for a couple of hours, and I’m hungry. Besides, the view is gorgeous,” Jim says simply. Bones stands up and looks annoyed, but Jim tries not to care because, really, he wants a short break, even if Bones doesn’t talk to him at all.
“Whatever would all your conquests say if they heard you going on about sunsets and views?” Bones scowls and walks a few steps away from Jessica.
“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Jim shrugs then opens the storage to retrieve the bag of stuff he bought.
“They’d probably coo over what a sensitive guy you are or some shit that makes you even more appealing to them.” Bones glances at him. “What’d you buy?”
“I’m always appealing, Bones. It’s just who I am.”Jim smiles as he walks away from the parking area and onto the stretch of sand. Well, some sand and mostly rock. “Food. Water. Would have got beer, but I figured it wouldn’t taste so good hot.”
“Conceited asshole.” Bones follows him and sits down, staring out at the water as Jim opens the bag.
“It’s not conceit to be self-aware,” Jim points out as he holds out a warm bottle of water. Bones takes it without looking at him. He frowns and reaches for one of the sandwiches.
“Damn it, Jim. You didn’t get another of those, did you? That’s probably what made you sick the other day,” Bones says in an annoyed tone.
“I thought it was the cold pizza, Doc.” Jim tosses a sandwich next to Bones along with a bag of chips. “It’s what they had, and I’m hungry. That so called party only had fancy hors d'oeuvres that were bite size and not very good.”
“So called party?” Bones picks up the bag of chips and opens it. “Why, pray tell, didn’t it earn the James T. Kirk party seal of approval?”
“No one got drunk. The women were all fully clothed. No one passed out in the corner or got caught having sex.” He ticked off various reasons on his fingers. “Cavanaugh isn’t the type to host a real party, by my definition. His wife might, though. She’s got grabby hand syndrome.”
“You can have a party without drunken sex, you know?” Bones shakes his head before munching on a handful of chips.
“Yeah, maybe, but it wouldn’t be my type of party.” Jim grins before taking a bite of his sandwich. It isn’t too bad, though he’d classify it as mystery meat and not ham. He looks at Bones and stares at his profile for a few minutes before he speaks. “So, you gonna tell me why you wanted to leave so badly?”
“If I say no, would you shut the fuck up and stop asking?” Bones glances at him and frowns. “Nevermind. I know the answer to that question.”
“I can show restraint sometimes, you know?” he mutters but doesn’t dispute the fact that he’s not likely to just let Bones not answer.
“I just needed to get away. I needed to go,” Bones says finally. It’s not exactly an answer, but Jim can understand it.
It’s how he feels most nights when he starts pacing and itching to do something. He’s been restless like that since he was a kid, but it’s been worse since he finally made it into space and captained the Enterprise. He belongs up there, with his ship, not stuck down here waiting for bureaucracy to tell him what he’s doing next. Even though it’s something he deals with a lot, Bones doesn’t really seem to be that way, so something had to have happened. It’s obvious that he’s not getting a better answer, though.
Bones crunches up his empty bag and mutters something under his breath, too low for Jim to hear. “Sorry, missed that bit,” he says, not caring that the polite thing to do is probably shut up and let it drop.
“I needed you,” Bones practically growls, staring straight at the sky instead of looking at Jim. It’s probably good that he’s not looking because Jim knows he must look ridiculous with his mouth gaping open. Bones needed him.
He clears his throat and looks at the sky, trying to figure out what he’s supposed to say to that. Bones doesn’t need anyone, as he makes clear at any opportunity. He’s like Jim that way, really, which is one reason they probably understand each other so well. It’s just really bizarre to hear Bones admit to something like that, since he’s worse than even Jim is when it comes to talking about personal shit like that.
“You’ve got me,” he says quietly, glancing at Bones quickly before looking back at the sunset. It’s true, but he feels nauseous after saying it like that. He’d do anything for Bones, and it scares him more than he wants to acknowledge.
Bones reaches over, and Jim feels the rough pads of his fingers against his cheek. He turns his head towards him, tilting it back slightly as Bones leans in to kiss him. It’s a slow kiss, almost teasing, and Jim closes his eyes as Bones strokes his face. Being touched by a man is different than when women touch him. It’s not even that Bones is usually more rough and firm with the touching. It’s just not delicate and soft, even when it’s almost gentle like it is right now. Jim likes the difference, more than he ever thought he would.
“We should get back.” Bones’ words make Jim open his eyes, and he blinks when he finds Bones staring down at him. He licks his lips and nods once, even though he really wants to stay there and kiss more. Bones drags his thumb along Jim’s jaw. “Your eyes are really beautiful.” Bones blinks and drops his hand, looking slightly uncomfortable all of a sudden.
“Thanks.” He ducks his head and grins at the compliment, deciding not to try to figure out how Bones’ mind works right now because that’s too difficult a job. “And, yeah, we should probably go. It’s gonna be pretty dark, I figure,” he says as he stands up.
The ride back to San Francisco is quiet. Bones holds him tight but his hands never stray lower than Jim’s waist. When they enter the campus, Jim takes the turn that will drive them to Bones’ dorm. “Your place,” Bones tells him. Jim doesn’t argue. He just takes a different turn and drives back to his dorm.
When they arrive, he parks and covers Jessica up for the night before they go inside. Bones doesn’t say anything as they walk up five flights of stairs. After Jim types in his code, they enter his room. He’s surprised, and slightly disappointed, when Bones just walks past him. “Well, here we are. Home sweet home for the next however long it takes them to get their heads out of their asses to make official assignments.”
“Damn it, Jim. You’re such a slob,” Bones mutters as he reaches down to pick up an empty pizza box that’s covered with dirty clothes. “And you eat too much junk food.”
“I keep my work space organized and know where everything is,” Jim informs him. “And there’s no such thing as too much junk food, Bones.”
“As your doctor, I can safely say that’s bullshit. If you don’t get yourself killed being a reckless asshole, then you’ll die from clogged arteries or high cholesterol,” Bones tells him. He leans down and picks up a discarded t-shirt. “I lost a patient today.”
“Everyone dies, Doctor. Least I’ll have fun before I do.” When Bones mentions losing a patient, Jim grimaces. Fuck. Here he is talking about dying, and Bones is dealing with that. He bites his lip and takes a step towards Bones. “I’m sorry.”
“She was just a kid, Jim. Not too many years older than Jo. I had to tell her parents.” Bones trails off as his voice becomes lower. Jim hesitantly touches his shoulder. “Her father. I had to tell her father that she’s not waking up. Never waking up. I fucking hate this.”
“I’m sorry,” he repeats, feeling at a total loss. Bones has never been this broken about his job before, so he doesn’t know what to do or say. The fact that it was a kid is probably the reason, he knows, but knowing that doesn’t help. He squeezes Bones’ shoulder.
Bones turns suddenly and kisses him, a desperate sort of kiss that Jim can understand. He returns the kiss and moves his arms around Bones. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it being Joanna lying there,” Bones whispers before he kisses him again.
Jim pulls back and takes Bones’ hand. He doesn’t say anything as he leads him to the bed. There isn’t anything he can say to make it better, but he can try to do something to help. They take off their shoes, and Bones lies down. When Jim starts to pull his shirt over his head, Bones reaches out and touches his hands, stopping him from getting undressed. Bones doesn’t say anything; he just shakes his head slightly.
Jim swallows when he realizes that Bones doesn’t want sex, feeling nervous and slightly insecure as the one definite thing he could do to make Bones feel better is taken away. Bones tugs on his hands, pulling him down, and he slowly kneels on the mattress before he shifts so that he’s lying beside Bones. When Bones rolls onto his side, Jim does the same. They stare at each other in silence before Bones leans forward. Jim presses closer and touches his face, stroking his unshaven jaw as they lie there kissing.
End
#6: Thrust | #8: Crash