It's funny, I started dating a polyamorous man last year after my husband left me. We dated a year, while I tried to understand and be a bit poly myself. Then he wrote an obliquely insulting comment aimed at me in another's journal on here that he knew I'd see, and while he comments on my journal posts occasionally, just never called again. How ethical and loving! He turned out to be just as much of a jerk about ending things as any other guy. Someday when I've calmed down, I will email him and explain step by step why he isn't any better than any other guy and that he should disabuse himself of that notion. Otherwise, it seems a good idea, if all parties get all the information up front and everyone keeps their respective words. Even then sitting down and talking a lot is important. This guy never said anything unless I explicitly asked him. Not a good poly person, to my mind.
my hubby and i consider ourselves to be polyamorous, though i must admit that on occasion i lean towards non-monogamy (i just really, really like sex... but I do LOVE love). thus far, things are working well. babita781 is right, communication is the key. if you can't be honest with your partner about how you're feeling, what's the point, really?
it's definitely not easy, but it sure is fulfilling!
Polyamory is a really wonderful thing, as it doesn't hurt others; part of it is polyfidelity, so everyone's aware of what's going on and everyone consents to it. Some people (like myself) just don't want to be so tied down, especially to a single gender.
Nonmonogamy I'm iffy on. As long as it doesn't hurt others, it's fine, anything goes, but it has a strong tendency to cause problems and unhappiness in lives--even the initiator's.
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it's definitely not easy, but it sure is fulfilling!
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Nonmonogamy I'm iffy on. As long as it doesn't hurt others, it's fine, anything goes, but it has a strong tendency to cause problems and unhappiness in lives--even the initiator's.
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