Safe - Chapter 15

[indyhat]

Characters: Peter/Claude-centric ensemble
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Word count: 1,000ish.
Spoilers: AU; at most, 1.17 ("Company Man")
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the words.
Summary: Holocaust-era Heroes
A/N: ( Previous chapters)

Clara wakes in a dark lane, cheek numb against the cold cobbles, and surrounded by glittering triangles. Glass. She moves,

Comments

[c_quinn]

And every good story needs a villian. Yours has arrived. ;)

Excellent bit of tension with Thomassen.

salutes him, a springy, staccato gesture

Loved that.

[indyhat]

And every good story needs a villian.

Billain!

Yours has arrived. ;)

What, I only get the one??

Excellent bit of tension with Thomassen.

Thank you :)

[c_quinn]

What, I only get the one??

If I said "yes", would you limit it to him? ;)

[indyhat]

If I said "yes", would you limit it to him? ;)

You are EVIL.

No, what I'd do is, email you my entire story outline so that you'd know what happened without actually having read the narrative. Because I am EVIL.

[gingerberrysnap]

Ah, Thompson. Creepy as ever.

I still can't wait to find out how they know Peter is an empath.

I loved this image from Hiro's dream: But time washes him away, and only empty bubbles leave his mouth, swirling in the grey waters until they are lost.

Though I still worry about whether or not there is a future!Claude. I know you're leaving it purposely vague, but something tells me future!Peter has no Claude. :(

Great as always!

[indyhat]

Ah, Thompson. Creepy as ever.

I may be taking huge liberties with him here and making him - *gasp!* - even creepier ;)

I still can't wait to find out how they know Peter is an empath.

Hmm. I'm not sure I've even planned to address that head-on, but I will try to remember to add the hints.

I loved this image

I still worry about whether or not there is a future!Claude. I know you're leaving it purposely vague, but something tells me future!Peter has no Claude. :(

I am, and I think it will probably stay that way. I'm pleased that people are reading into it what I tried not to write into it, if you see what I mean.

Thanks for reading! :D

[trippypeas]

Billain! and when peter asks about claude and hiro can't answer i had a horrible feeling...

i LOVE the desription of phasing it was awesome i've never read about how it would feel..

[indyhat]

when peter asks about claude and hiro can't answer i had a horrible feeling...

See above reply to englishmuffin2 ...

i LOVE the desription of phasing

Thank you! I had fun with that :)

[trippypeas]

oh! "Death of Fruit Bowl" may be up by tonight!! being sick means i get alot of free time and no one really cares what i'm doing as long as i'm not nauseuos.. :)

[indyhat]

Excellent! ... although I'm about to go to bed. But I'll see it when I get up in the morning ... good luck posting!

[indyhat]

Hey - welcome aboard! Nice to have you :)

you have such grasp on the canon characters but you've also made them distinctly AU versions of themselves at the same time, which a lot of AUs never really manage.

Thank you - I'm hugely flattered!

do what the show never quite managed: making me care about the DL/Niki/Micah storyline.

*g* I never really cared all that much for it either! I'm glad if I'm doing OK by them here, since I wasn't that convinced.

love your explanation of what DL/Danil's powers feel like.

Thank you :) It was just a random idea, but it seems to have grabbed people.

Thanks for reading and commenting! :)

[lamentables]

There's one line that I can't help noticing because I don't think it fits - and I feel awkward when I've said I can't do the detailed feedback: Everything else in the first section is effectively Clara's point of view but with a wisdom that exceeds her years has to be an external pov. I'd say that means it's something to be shown rather than stated.

To balance things, let me compliment you on But time washes him away, and only empty bubbles leave his mouth, swirling in the grey waters until they are lost.

[indyhat]

You're spot on - I wanted to say it but didn't read through again after adding it. I'm about to go fix. Thank you! Well clocked. :)

[indyhat]

... also, thank you! And please, never feel that you have to balance constructive criticism with compliments. I'm here to learn, as much as anything else! :)