My new OT3! And more crack...

[industrialgirl1]

After having another inspiring conversation with istne_pieklo this sick, little brainchild was born. There's not enough Kyuu-chan love in this world and I'm trying to work against that sad fact. This is kind of a sequel for my last crack so you might want to read that first. It's also dialog only and not funny at all.

title: Of Threesomes and Love

Comments

[anonymous]

"Sasuke..."

"What is it, dobe?"

"Don't call me dobe you bastard!"

"I only call things by their name."

"Tch, sometimes I wonder why I'm still with you."

"Hn."

I stopped reading right here. This dialogue is cliche it hurts. You have to damn witty make discussions without any accompanying description work, and this... doesn't.

[industrialgirl1]

Maybe the next time you leave a flame somewhere you can actually log in before you do so you don't appear as some spineless coward who just wants to hurt someone. I don't expect everyone to like it but before you judge a story maybe you should read the whole damn thing. And then offer some constructive criticism instead of just saying it's cliche. You might have noticed that this labeled as CRACK which basically means that the dialog is supposed to be cliche.

I've written more serious stories before and they certainly didn't have dialog like this.

If you want to say this sucks then link me to your own stories and show me how it's done. But they better be awesome or you're in for a lovely and witty flame yourself. Until then? Go and hide yourself in a hole somewhere. Cheers.