[SCC] Explanations - Sarah, Derek - Gen
TITLE: Explanations
AUTHOR: indiefic
CHARACTERS: Sarah, Derek
RATING: Gen
WORD COUNT: 620
WARNINGS: Spoilers for the entire Terminator universe.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Don't know who does.
TIMELINE: Coda for “The Good Wound”
SUMMARY: Derek understood lots of things without being told
NOTES: not beta'd apologies.
***
Sarah Connor chewed people up and spit them out. That didn’t surprise Derek. He expected it. It was exactly the way John Connor did things after the war. Everyone was expendable.
In theory, Derek didn’t have a problem with that strategy. Humanity was on the brink. He understood that the needs of the many far outweighed the needs of the few. He respected the fact that both Sarah and John could make the tough calls.
Derek understood the Connors, even if he didn’t like them.
Derek understood lots of things without being told. It was a survival skill he learned young. Growing up in the Reese house, being slow on the uptake got you backhanded out of your chair at the dinner table. After the war, it got you dead.
So Derek learned to read people and situations quickly. He learned not to second guess his instincts. He rode out his intuition for better or for worse, rarely reassessing a situation or a person after the initial engagement.
Derek understood he was a good soldier. He understood that John Connor respected his abilities even if they didn’t necessarily like each other. And when he arrived in 2007, Derek understood that John Connor, the boy, was Kyle’s son.
After acknowledging that John was his nephew, Derek didn’t give the logistics a lot of thought. Sarah used Kyle just like she used everyone else, to serve a purpose. Derek saw the way Sarah treated Dixon and even Ellison. Her manner was so coldly matter of fact when she spoke of Kyle and of John’s absent father, like they were two separate people. Derek understood that Kyle was a means to an end for Sarah, just like everyone else.
But Derek didn’t understand. Not for a long time. Not until he saw Sarah sprawled out in the morgue, half out of her mind with anesthesia, pain and memories. He hadn’t really understood until that very moment that Kyle was far more to Sarah than simply John’s father. Sarah Connor loved Kyle. Really loved him. To a degree she probably only ever loved John.
Kyle wasn’t a means to an end for her. He wasn’t yet another pawn lost to John’s destiny. And the look in her eyes for that one twilight moment when she was coming to and she thought that Derek was Kyle - and then the crushing realization that he wasn’t … Sarah Connor loved Kyle.
And that, Derek finally understood, was why John had sent him back. Not because Derek was a good soldier - though he was. Not because he was loyal - though he was. And not because it was a real chance to try and save Kyle - though it might be.
In that moment Derek understood that he wasn’t the first person to be sent back intending to change it all. Everyone thought they could change it. Nobody would ever be sent back if that wasn’t the case.
Derek finally understood that he was sent back because of who he was, not what he was. It was because he was Kyle Reese’s brother and for that reason - and that reason alone - Sarah Connor would trust him more than she could ever trust anyone else. And because she might, for one second, allow someone else to help her shoulder the burden of what needed to be done. And for some reason, understanding that made it okay.
[ end ]
AUTHOR: indiefic
CHARACTERS: Sarah, Derek
RATING: Gen
WORD COUNT: 620
WARNINGS: Spoilers for the entire Terminator universe.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Don't know who does.
TIMELINE: Coda for “The Good Wound”
SUMMARY: Derek understood lots of things without being told
NOTES: not beta'd apologies.
***
Sarah Connor chewed people up and spit them out. That didn’t surprise Derek. He expected it. It was exactly the way John Connor did things after the war. Everyone was expendable.
In theory, Derek didn’t have a problem with that strategy. Humanity was on the brink. He understood that the needs of the many far outweighed the needs of the few. He respected the fact that both Sarah and John could make the tough calls.
Derek understood the Connors, even if he didn’t like them.
Derek understood lots of things without being told. It was a survival skill he learned young. Growing up in the Reese house, being slow on the uptake got you backhanded out of your chair at the dinner table. After the war, it got you dead.
So Derek learned to read people and situations quickly. He learned not to second guess his instincts. He rode out his intuition for better or for worse, rarely reassessing a situation or a person after the initial engagement.
Derek understood he was a good soldier. He understood that John Connor respected his abilities even if they didn’t necessarily like each other. And when he arrived in 2007, Derek understood that John Connor, the boy, was Kyle’s son.
After acknowledging that John was his nephew, Derek didn’t give the logistics a lot of thought. Sarah used Kyle just like she used everyone else, to serve a purpose. Derek saw the way Sarah treated Dixon and even Ellison. Her manner was so coldly matter of fact when she spoke of Kyle and of John’s absent father, like they were two separate people. Derek understood that Kyle was a means to an end for Sarah, just like everyone else.
But Derek didn’t understand. Not for a long time. Not until he saw Sarah sprawled out in the morgue, half out of her mind with anesthesia, pain and memories. He hadn’t really understood until that very moment that Kyle was far more to Sarah than simply John’s father. Sarah Connor loved Kyle. Really loved him. To a degree she probably only ever loved John.
Kyle wasn’t a means to an end for her. He wasn’t yet another pawn lost to John’s destiny. And the look in her eyes for that one twilight moment when she was coming to and she thought that Derek was Kyle - and then the crushing realization that he wasn’t … Sarah Connor loved Kyle.
And that, Derek finally understood, was why John had sent him back. Not because Derek was a good soldier - though he was. Not because he was loyal - though he was. And not because it was a real chance to try and save Kyle - though it might be.
In that moment Derek understood that he wasn’t the first person to be sent back intending to change it all. Everyone thought they could change it. Nobody would ever be sent back if that wasn’t the case.
Derek finally understood that he was sent back because of who he was, not what he was. It was because he was Kyle Reese’s brother and for that reason - and that reason alone - Sarah Connor would trust him more than she could ever trust anyone else. And because she might, for one second, allow someone else to help her shoulder the burden of what needed to be done. And for some reason, understanding that made it okay.
[ end ]