#19 - Loathing, for kryptic_pear
Title - Loathing
Recipient - kryptic_pear
Author - sid_vicious_03
Rating - PG-13
Pairing - Eames/Arthur
Word count - 1835
Warnings - Mentions of suicide attempt, swearwords, angst
Disclaimers - I don’t own Inception or any of the characters, sadly, but i do own the story.
Summary - Arthur/Eames, post-Mal's death where they're trying to decide how to deal with Cobb, whether to help him.
~*~
Eames closed the door to the apartment carefully behind himself as if he would wake up the entire building if he didn’t. Once the door was closed behind himself, he turned around to twist the key in the lock to make sure the door got locked. Then rested his temple against the wood.
His body felt heavy, as if somebody had opened him up, taken out everything that made him human and replaced it all with rocks before stitching him back together. Eames was sure that if he would get into a pool, he would sink to the bottom and never come up again, they would need the use of a freaking crane to get him up after words, if that even worked.
Eames leaned back so his weight wasn’t crushing on the door anymore. He felt dead tired and sore, yet the only thing he had done during the day was get up from the bed and go to the bank to fix some bills, then returned back here. He was seriously considering internet banking now, it would be so much easier when situations like these happened.
The silence of the apartment fell over him which made him open his eyes as he realized that he didn’t hear Arthur move around in the apartment. No, it was as silent as the grave. Eames heartbeat speed up, last time that had happened he had found Arthur in the bath tub under water. All Eames had done was pull him out of the water and started to scold him. But Arthur just kept denying the fact that he was drowning himself. Eames hadn’t relaxed since then, of course Arthur had been trying to drown himself, why else would you be fully dressed in the bathtub for?
’’Arthur?’’ Eames said carefully, walking into the living room where the doors to the balcony still where closed, the kitchen wasn’t missing any knives and there was no water in the tub, just as all the medications they owned where untouched.
He walked over to the bedroom, opening the door slowly so he could peek inside. And there he saw Arthur, the shaking figure on the bed, very obviously trying to hold back his sobs. Eames almost wanted to sigh out loudly, but bit on his tongue and walked inside, dropping his jacket on the floor and kicked his shoes of as he reached the bed.
Eames crawled behind Arthur, moving slowly so the other wouldn’t get to started from it. He pulled Arthur’s back to his chest and hugged him tightly, just holding him before he spoke up. ’’Don’t cry.’’ Eames whispered and stroked some of Arthur’s hair. That caused Arthur to laugh for two seconds before he fell back into crying, curling more together.
That reaction was enough to tell Eames that Arthur had been talking to Cobb, he had always reacted the same whenever he had talked to Cobb ever since Mal. It took Eames half an hour of soothing words, light stroking and holding him tightly before Arthur managed to calm down, although it felt like an eternity and probably longer for Arthur.
But now the important thing was that the crying had eased and Arthur had turned around to hide in Eames chest and closed his eyes. Like always, but this time he refused to let anyone of them move.
’’She’s dead.’’ Arthur then said after some minutes of silence, still hiding in Eames chest as he once more was confirming the news to them both. As if he refused to believe it and Eames could understand why. ’’Mal is dead.’’
’’I know.’’ Eames whispered and kissed Arthur on top of his head, then when he looked down to him he could see that Arthur had pressed his eyes closed again t prevent the tears, looking totally miserable. Eames couldn’t recall any moment where he had seen the point man so broken down.
And god how Eames envied Arthur, he also wanted to be miserable about Mal’s death. But he couldn’t allow himself to because Arthur needed someone that played strong around him. Just like Arthur played strong for Cobb. It wasn’t quite fair. Eames knew Cobb took it the hardest, but hell, Eames needed support through this as well, Mal was his friend as well.
’’Cobb called.’’ Arthur then said again, now toying with the fabric of Eames shirt that Arthur hated with whole of his heart. But now that seemed of unimportance to him. He just needed to keep his fingers busy. Eames didn’t say anything, he just waited for Arthur to continue while he lightly stroked his back. Arthur closed his eyes and swallowed. ’’He wants me to come over to Mexico to help him with a job that might bring him back to the US.’’
’’What did you tell him?’’ Eames asked, managing to shift back a bit so he could look at Arthur, yet he had a feeling he already knew what the other would tell him as an answer. It was written all over his face and Eames didn’t like it.
’’I said I’d be there within a week.’’ Arthur said, almost whispering and looked up to Eames from his chest. With eyes that could rip Eames apart inside.
’’Darling.’’ Eames started and kissed Arthur on his temple, then very lightly on his lips. ’’I won’t let you go, Cobb or not, I won’t let you go to Mexico for a job, you are not in the state for it, imagine how your dreams will look like, imagine how his dreams will look like when you are going down under. You’ll fall into Limbo in just a matter of seconds.’’ Eames whispered to him.
The reaction that Arthur gave him wasn’t as half as calm as Eames had sounded, he had received a hard push in his chest that knocked the air out of his lungs for a few seconds and watched Arthur get out of the bed.
’’Dom is my friend Eames! I have to go help him!’’ Arthur argued with and pointed to his chest as he spoke loudly. Eames just sat up and looked at him, last thing he wanted was Arthur freaking out right now.
’’I can’t let you go Arthur! Just last week you tried drowning yourself in the tub, do you really think I would let you go to Mexico with that thought in my mind? I’m not that much of a moron!’’ Eames called back, a lot louder than he had intended, watching Arthur slide his hands in his hair.
’’I did not try to drown myself!’’ he yelled out then and pressed his eyes closed, knuckles turning white in his black hair. ’’I just needed to clear my head!’’ he hissed to him.
’’Oh with your clothes on?’’ Eames countered him. ’’Really Arthur? Did you really expect me to believe that?’’
’’Just shut up Eames!’’ Arthur yelled out at the top of his lungs, Eames fell silent, the only thing that was heard in the room was Arthur’s ragged breathing. ’’I’m going to Mexico, no matter what you say about the matter.’’ Arthur said on a much lower tone and looked to Eames. ’’He lost his freaking wife Eames, he needs all the support he can get.’’
’’You need support to Arthur, and right now he is the last person who can give that to you, you will be one another’s downfall.’’ Eames said, trying to sound as careful as possible so Arthur wouldn’t freak out on him. But it didn’t work, he just shook his head, but then Arthur walked up to him and kissed him, gripping at his shirt.
’’Come with me, please? Dom could use a forger.’’ Arthur then begged, looking at Eames with his tired eyes that showed that he hadn’t slept for days now. Eames just shook his head and removed Arthur’s hands from his shirt, but kept holding them.
’’Darling, there is nothing we can do to help him. Nothing will ever bring him back to the US no matter how hard you try, even you can’t pull that one of.’’ Eames said, shaking Arthur very lightly, hoping that with every light push that he would understand it all a little bit more and eventually would realize that he couldn’t help Cobb, that he shouldn’t argue with Eames now and that he should rest.
’’You’ve been doing so much for him lately, it’s enough now.’’ Eames said then and stroked Arthur’s cheek with light fingers. Arthur closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to steady himself before he looked back to Eames with the saddest gaze Eames had ever seen on him, kissing him lightly, and once the kiss ended he spoke up.
’’I have to go to Mexico Eames.’’ Arthur said on a tone that could be mistaken for a whisper. Eames shook his head and let go of Arthur, walking past him and headed towards the living room. ’’Come with me!’’
~*~
The sound of the wheels from the portable suitcase bothered him, and as he closed his eyes to block it out, he only heard all the other suitcases around him. He held Arthur’s hand tightly, Arthur who had screamed in his sleep last night, but now looked calm, collected and just a little bit tired.
He felt that Arthur stopped walking and did the same, biting hard at the inside of his cheek to keep himself collected, this wasn’t going to be easy, he felt it, it became even harder when he saw the departure sign.
’’So this is it.’’ Arthur said and also looked up to the departure sign, holding Eames hand tightly as if he didn’t want to let go even if his life depended on it. Eames nodded, just wanting to agree with him, but totally different words came past his lips.
’’Please don’t go.’’ He whispered then and looked to Arthur who smiled weakly. Voice thick and hoarse from when he had cried last night and the upcoming will to cry again.
’’Eames.’’ Arthur said, hand gripping Eames’ hand tighter and he could hear on the tone of his voice that he wanted to cry as well, but he wouldn’t allow himself to. Not until he was on the plane and alone.
Arthur turned to him, giving him a kiss on his temple. There Eames took his chance and kissed his lips as soon as he got the chance to do so. Holding him tightly and didn’t plan on letting go.
’’When you walk through that gate, It’s all over.’’ Eames whispered, still holding Arthur and let their hug become a lot tighter than it already was. Hoping that Arthur would come back home with him. But instead he just moved out of their hug and smiled some to him, taking his suitcase again.
’’I know.’’ He whispered then, stroking Eames arm. ’’We will meet again Mr. Eames.’’ Arthur said, and with that he had turned around and walked through the departure gate, leaving Eames on his own.
Recipient - kryptic_pear
Author - sid_vicious_03
Rating - PG-13
Pairing - Eames/Arthur
Word count - 1835
Warnings - Mentions of suicide attempt, swearwords, angst
Disclaimers - I don’t own Inception or any of the characters, sadly, but i do own the story.
Summary - Arthur/Eames, post-Mal's death where they're trying to decide how to deal with Cobb, whether to help him.
~*~
Eames closed the door to the apartment carefully behind himself as if he would wake up the entire building if he didn’t. Once the door was closed behind himself, he turned around to twist the key in the lock to make sure the door got locked. Then rested his temple against the wood.
His body felt heavy, as if somebody had opened him up, taken out everything that made him human and replaced it all with rocks before stitching him back together. Eames was sure that if he would get into a pool, he would sink to the bottom and never come up again, they would need the use of a freaking crane to get him up after words, if that even worked.
Eames leaned back so his weight wasn’t crushing on the door anymore. He felt dead tired and sore, yet the only thing he had done during the day was get up from the bed and go to the bank to fix some bills, then returned back here. He was seriously considering internet banking now, it would be so much easier when situations like these happened.
The silence of the apartment fell over him which made him open his eyes as he realized that he didn’t hear Arthur move around in the apartment. No, it was as silent as the grave. Eames heartbeat speed up, last time that had happened he had found Arthur in the bath tub under water. All Eames had done was pull him out of the water and started to scold him. But Arthur just kept denying the fact that he was drowning himself. Eames hadn’t relaxed since then, of course Arthur had been trying to drown himself, why else would you be fully dressed in the bathtub for?
’’Arthur?’’ Eames said carefully, walking into the living room where the doors to the balcony still where closed, the kitchen wasn’t missing any knives and there was no water in the tub, just as all the medications they owned where untouched.
He walked over to the bedroom, opening the door slowly so he could peek inside. And there he saw Arthur, the shaking figure on the bed, very obviously trying to hold back his sobs. Eames almost wanted to sigh out loudly, but bit on his tongue and walked inside, dropping his jacket on the floor and kicked his shoes of as he reached the bed.
Eames crawled behind Arthur, moving slowly so the other wouldn’t get to started from it. He pulled Arthur’s back to his chest and hugged him tightly, just holding him before he spoke up. ’’Don’t cry.’’ Eames whispered and stroked some of Arthur’s hair. That caused Arthur to laugh for two seconds before he fell back into crying, curling more together.
That reaction was enough to tell Eames that Arthur had been talking to Cobb, he had always reacted the same whenever he had talked to Cobb ever since Mal. It took Eames half an hour of soothing words, light stroking and holding him tightly before Arthur managed to calm down, although it felt like an eternity and probably longer for Arthur.
But now the important thing was that the crying had eased and Arthur had turned around to hide in Eames chest and closed his eyes. Like always, but this time he refused to let anyone of them move.
’’She’s dead.’’ Arthur then said after some minutes of silence, still hiding in Eames chest as he once more was confirming the news to them both. As if he refused to believe it and Eames could understand why. ’’Mal is dead.’’
’’I know.’’ Eames whispered and kissed Arthur on top of his head, then when he looked down to him he could see that Arthur had pressed his eyes closed again t prevent the tears, looking totally miserable. Eames couldn’t recall any moment where he had seen the point man so broken down.
And god how Eames envied Arthur, he also wanted to be miserable about Mal’s death. But he couldn’t allow himself to because Arthur needed someone that played strong around him. Just like Arthur played strong for Cobb. It wasn’t quite fair. Eames knew Cobb took it the hardest, but hell, Eames needed support through this as well, Mal was his friend as well.
’’Cobb called.’’ Arthur then said again, now toying with the fabric of Eames shirt that Arthur hated with whole of his heart. But now that seemed of unimportance to him. He just needed to keep his fingers busy. Eames didn’t say anything, he just waited for Arthur to continue while he lightly stroked his back. Arthur closed his eyes and swallowed. ’’He wants me to come over to Mexico to help him with a job that might bring him back to the US.’’
’’What did you tell him?’’ Eames asked, managing to shift back a bit so he could look at Arthur, yet he had a feeling he already knew what the other would tell him as an answer. It was written all over his face and Eames didn’t like it.
’’I said I’d be there within a week.’’ Arthur said, almost whispering and looked up to Eames from his chest. With eyes that could rip Eames apart inside.
’’Darling.’’ Eames started and kissed Arthur on his temple, then very lightly on his lips. ’’I won’t let you go, Cobb or not, I won’t let you go to Mexico for a job, you are not in the state for it, imagine how your dreams will look like, imagine how his dreams will look like when you are going down under. You’ll fall into Limbo in just a matter of seconds.’’ Eames whispered to him.
The reaction that Arthur gave him wasn’t as half as calm as Eames had sounded, he had received a hard push in his chest that knocked the air out of his lungs for a few seconds and watched Arthur get out of the bed.
’’Dom is my friend Eames! I have to go help him!’’ Arthur argued with and pointed to his chest as he spoke loudly. Eames just sat up and looked at him, last thing he wanted was Arthur freaking out right now.
’’I can’t let you go Arthur! Just last week you tried drowning yourself in the tub, do you really think I would let you go to Mexico with that thought in my mind? I’m not that much of a moron!’’ Eames called back, a lot louder than he had intended, watching Arthur slide his hands in his hair.
’’I did not try to drown myself!’’ he yelled out then and pressed his eyes closed, knuckles turning white in his black hair. ’’I just needed to clear my head!’’ he hissed to him.
’’Oh with your clothes on?’’ Eames countered him. ’’Really Arthur? Did you really expect me to believe that?’’
’’Just shut up Eames!’’ Arthur yelled out at the top of his lungs, Eames fell silent, the only thing that was heard in the room was Arthur’s ragged breathing. ’’I’m going to Mexico, no matter what you say about the matter.’’ Arthur said on a much lower tone and looked to Eames. ’’He lost his freaking wife Eames, he needs all the support he can get.’’
’’You need support to Arthur, and right now he is the last person who can give that to you, you will be one another’s downfall.’’ Eames said, trying to sound as careful as possible so Arthur wouldn’t freak out on him. But it didn’t work, he just shook his head, but then Arthur walked up to him and kissed him, gripping at his shirt.
’’Come with me, please? Dom could use a forger.’’ Arthur then begged, looking at Eames with his tired eyes that showed that he hadn’t slept for days now. Eames just shook his head and removed Arthur’s hands from his shirt, but kept holding them.
’’Darling, there is nothing we can do to help him. Nothing will ever bring him back to the US no matter how hard you try, even you can’t pull that one of.’’ Eames said, shaking Arthur very lightly, hoping that with every light push that he would understand it all a little bit more and eventually would realize that he couldn’t help Cobb, that he shouldn’t argue with Eames now and that he should rest.
’’You’ve been doing so much for him lately, it’s enough now.’’ Eames said then and stroked Arthur’s cheek with light fingers. Arthur closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to steady himself before he looked back to Eames with the saddest gaze Eames had ever seen on him, kissing him lightly, and once the kiss ended he spoke up.
’’I have to go to Mexico Eames.’’ Arthur said on a tone that could be mistaken for a whisper. Eames shook his head and let go of Arthur, walking past him and headed towards the living room. ’’Come with me!’’
~*~
The sound of the wheels from the portable suitcase bothered him, and as he closed his eyes to block it out, he only heard all the other suitcases around him. He held Arthur’s hand tightly, Arthur who had screamed in his sleep last night, but now looked calm, collected and just a little bit tired.
He felt that Arthur stopped walking and did the same, biting hard at the inside of his cheek to keep himself collected, this wasn’t going to be easy, he felt it, it became even harder when he saw the departure sign.
’’So this is it.’’ Arthur said and also looked up to the departure sign, holding Eames hand tightly as if he didn’t want to let go even if his life depended on it. Eames nodded, just wanting to agree with him, but totally different words came past his lips.
’’Please don’t go.’’ He whispered then and looked to Arthur who smiled weakly. Voice thick and hoarse from when he had cried last night and the upcoming will to cry again.
’’Eames.’’ Arthur said, hand gripping Eames’ hand tighter and he could hear on the tone of his voice that he wanted to cry as well, but he wouldn’t allow himself to. Not until he was on the plane and alone.
Arthur turned to him, giving him a kiss on his temple. There Eames took his chance and kissed his lips as soon as he got the chance to do so. Holding him tightly and didn’t plan on letting go.
’’When you walk through that gate, It’s all over.’’ Eames whispered, still holding Arthur and let their hug become a lot tighter than it already was. Hoping that Arthur would come back home with him. But instead he just moved out of their hug and smiled some to him, taking his suitcase again.
’’I know.’’ He whispered then, stroking Eames arm. ’’We will meet again Mr. Eames.’’ Arthur said, and with that he had turned around and walked through the departure gate, leaving Eames on his own.