entry 001: failed lock

[inabrokentown]

Maybe making that secret was a bad idea.. My curiosity got the best of me.. Especially after that night we had at home. I shouldn't try and pry anything out of him... If he ever feels ready to tell me, then that will be the right time. Maybe... What we have is just professional and nothing else will come from it? I don't know.. I don't know what to

Comments

[hellyeahchris]

We need to talk. I should be more open to you, of all people. I am here, and I always will be.

[inabrokentown]

I know you're here for me Chris and I'm here for you as well. Making the secret was the wrong way to go about things. It's just I don't want it to be sometime down the road and regretting what we didn't do.

[hellyeahchris]

Well, I would have preferred you got my attention another way, Jill, yeah, but I will not hold that against you.

[ Locked // MANLY TEARS, GTFO PEOPLE ]

I would be lying if I said I did not harbour feelings for you. To put your mind at rest, if the mansion incident was a simple, run-of-the-mill operation... things would be different. Our relationship would be something more, most likely. You would have my undivided attention and I would be able to relax.

But.

It happened.

I became the man I am now, and I know I have changed, I just don't want to let my guard down.

Locked

[inabrokentown]

And what if something happens to you or me, Chris? We're not guaranteed that we will come back from whatever mission we go on.. I'm not asking you to commit to anything and I know its hard for you to let your guard down. Honestly, I don't let my guard down to anyone but you because I know that I am safe with you.

I'm sorry, Chris. It would be easier for the both of us if I wasn't so gun ho about this. I also can't take back what I've done or what I've said because I can't keep lying to myself. Like I said before, I'm not asking to change anything because I don't want to make things hard on you. It's a lot easier for me to push my feelings aside then to get in the way of what you've got planned.

All I want is one night. To know what it would feel like if things didn't happen the way they did.. So that I don't have to constantly wonder what if, because I'll know and you'll know that when all this is over, I'm here waiting for you.. Even if it never ends, I'm always here for you and only you.