you must know life to see decay
title: you must know life to see decay
rating/word count: pg/575
one line summary: Omission is always easier then the truth.
notes: just some original stuff, please let me know what you think. (:
.....
This is not the truth:
“I love you,”
She puts very little piece of herself into those words but really she doesn't mean them.
“I love you, too.”
This is the end.
…
Her life is not easy, but no one ever said it was.
Actually no one ever told her anything.
…
She's two months old when her father leaves.
He packs up when her mother's away at work.
Takes with him every cent in their bank account, his clothing, pieces of her mother's jewelry.
He leaves even less.
A note. Three words- I love you.
Those words have always been a lie.
….
This is the truth:
“I hate you.”
She lays in their bed, in his shirt, and she feels his skin, his smell, his essence seeping into hers, taking her over. .
He laughs, kisses her fingers, “And I hate you, too.”
How do you know when your trapped in a skin other then your own?
…
lie, lie, lie. truth, truth, truth.
Her life is the the thin line between the two.
Omission- it defines her.
…
Her mother leaves her too.
She's eight, there's a stoop to an orphanage, a photograph in her pocket, and tears in her mother's eyes.
“Mommy will be back soon, I love you.”
Years later, she'll blow out her candles and not make the same wish she's made every year prior.
She finally reasons (accepts) that mommy got lost.
“I need to find her.”
( I need to find me)
“I'm sorry but you can't.”
(I know, it's impossible.)
…
Seasons change, he sings the same song.
“I love you.”
She can't love him no matter how hard she tries.
She reasons, smiles, sings the same words back.
(the designer labels on her clothes, the smell of him all over her skin, this apartment, exchanging pleasantries with all these people she wouldn't care to know.)
She drowns, doesn't need the water of the Hudson River.
She drowns in his world. Has always really been six feet under.
…
The city buzzes around her and her hands start to shake.
(I love you. I love you. I love you.) The city pulses around her.
(LIAR. LIAR. LIAR.) Her heart screams back.
And so she starts a war with a city she loves knows better than herself.
….
“Baby, let's go to Paris.”
Her feet hum underneath her.
She's always wanted to run away.
…..
New York consumes people.
Eats them up, spits them out.
This is the place of rapidness. Where everything moves and never stops.
People rest their whole souls in places like this. Places where the devil is so much closer than any angel.
Here's the truth:
Never leave your dreams here. They'll burn, blow up in smoke.
The city will immerse itself in the ash.
…
(I love you so much it consumes me)-
First he says it, then the buildings, the sidewalk, the trees.
The wind picks it up somewhere along the way and the next things she knows, there's is no escaping it.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Please, Please, Enough.
…
When he asks her to marry him the I love you, all ready out of his mouth she cries.
“Yes, I'll marry you.” She says the words turning to ash.
Yes I'll.....
…
Omission is always easier then the truth.
FIN.