[TMS] Charlize Theron quote
[Set in takea_stepback. Castiel = blinding_visage, Jo = huntersdaughter and both are used with permission.]
“There is so much you can do, but if somebody doesn't give you a chance there is nothing you can do.”
He wanted to be sure.
He couldn't do that to any of them, but especially Dean or Jo. They didn’t deserve to have him say he was done and have it be like the previous time with Ruby. That was cruel and unusual punishment of the worst kind, and he needed to be sure that he was done. And considering he didn’t reach this point the last time around, he wasn’t really sure that he was.
His first sign was that he actually managed to fall asleep of his own accord. No passing out from exhaustion, no pain, just-sleep. Sleep, with dreams to boot. His dreams had never been anything worth noting, but just the fact that they were there was more than enough. It was two days of an actually decent night’s sleep, combined with the ability to actually eat whatever was brought him was a very good sign in and of itself. The second was that his thoughts were actually in his own head again. No younger version of himself telling him what he already knew. No hallucinations at all, really, and that was more than he had had in a long time. Once he had reached those conclusions, he knew the only real test he had left was to see if he could actually make it out the door.
Pushing himself to his feet, he made his way toward the door. At first he was a bit hesitant to have someone let him out-he didn’t trust himself, let alone know if there was someone else who would be able to tell if he was ready. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to know unless he tried. That part was the hard part. The part where he actually had to try.
“Hey!” He sighed as he leaned against the door. “Anybody out there?”
There was a long pause of silence, and Sam was starting to wonder if they’d actually left him down here alone. A brief bubble of panic wormed its way through him, before a second thought hit him-the idea that it was probably the middle of the night, and anyone who was actually sane was asleep. Amy and Ruby were probably gone, which just left the insomniacs and the angel.
“Look, I-I think it’s over. I think I’m okay.”
There was a long pause on the other side of the door, followed by the creak! of metal as the door started to move from under him. He pushed himself off the door as it swung open, and he met the eyes of Castiel on the other side. He didn’t move at first, just watched Castiel as he watched him. The angel almost seemed to be looking for something, some kind of sign that Sam wasn’t lying about this. There was a long pause, before he turned to the side, leaving room for Sam to pass to the stairs behind him.
A small, grateful smile crossed Sam’s face, and he started to take a few slow steps back into Bobby’s house. He made it to the foot of the stairs before turning back and looking at him again, rubbing the opposite arm with one hand lightly. “What time is it?”
“It's close to five in the morning,” Castiel replied, eyes traveling up to the floor above them. “Most of the rest of the house is asleep.”
Sam nodded slowly. “Thanks, Cas.”
The angel just nodded before disappearing from view again, just as easily as Sam assumed he had appeared. With that, Sam resumed his trip up the stairs, moving as quietly as possible and making a beeline for his and Jo’s room.
Easing the doorway open quietly, his eyes moved to the bed where she was still asleep, curled up on her side away from him. He didn’t want to disturb her-he figured he’d wake her up when he was less in need of a shower and a breath mint. Closing the door quietly behind him, he eased his way around the room to the bathroom, freezing only for a brief moment when she stirred and he thought she had woken up. She only shifted over onto her stomach before drifting back off to sleep again, and he let out a slow exhale, before continuing the rest of the way to the bathroom.
Once the door was closed behind him, he turned the shower up as high as it would go, before stripping down and stepping under the spray, not caring if his skin blistered from the heat of the water. A hot shower had never, ever, felt as good as it did right then.
And considering some of the jobs he’s done-that’s really saying something.
781 words
“There is so much you can do, but if somebody doesn't give you a chance there is nothing you can do.”
He wanted to be sure.
He couldn't do that to any of them, but especially Dean or Jo. They didn’t deserve to have him say he was done and have it be like the previous time with Ruby. That was cruel and unusual punishment of the worst kind, and he needed to be sure that he was done. And considering he didn’t reach this point the last time around, he wasn’t really sure that he was.
His first sign was that he actually managed to fall asleep of his own accord. No passing out from exhaustion, no pain, just-sleep. Sleep, with dreams to boot. His dreams had never been anything worth noting, but just the fact that they were there was more than enough. It was two days of an actually decent night’s sleep, combined with the ability to actually eat whatever was brought him was a very good sign in and of itself. The second was that his thoughts were actually in his own head again. No younger version of himself telling him what he already knew. No hallucinations at all, really, and that was more than he had had in a long time. Once he had reached those conclusions, he knew the only real test he had left was to see if he could actually make it out the door.
Pushing himself to his feet, he made his way toward the door. At first he was a bit hesitant to have someone let him out-he didn’t trust himself, let alone know if there was someone else who would be able to tell if he was ready. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to know unless he tried. That part was the hard part. The part where he actually had to try.
“Hey!” He sighed as he leaned against the door. “Anybody out there?”
There was a long pause of silence, and Sam was starting to wonder if they’d actually left him down here alone. A brief bubble of panic wormed its way through him, before a second thought hit him-the idea that it was probably the middle of the night, and anyone who was actually sane was asleep. Amy and Ruby were probably gone, which just left the insomniacs and the angel.
“Look, I-I think it’s over. I think I’m okay.”
There was a long pause on the other side of the door, followed by the creak! of metal as the door started to move from under him. He pushed himself off the door as it swung open, and he met the eyes of Castiel on the other side. He didn’t move at first, just watched Castiel as he watched him. The angel almost seemed to be looking for something, some kind of sign that Sam wasn’t lying about this. There was a long pause, before he turned to the side, leaving room for Sam to pass to the stairs behind him.
A small, grateful smile crossed Sam’s face, and he started to take a few slow steps back into Bobby’s house. He made it to the foot of the stairs before turning back and looking at him again, rubbing the opposite arm with one hand lightly. “What time is it?”
“It's close to five in the morning,” Castiel replied, eyes traveling up to the floor above them. “Most of the rest of the house is asleep.”
Sam nodded slowly. “Thanks, Cas.”
The angel just nodded before disappearing from view again, just as easily as Sam assumed he had appeared. With that, Sam resumed his trip up the stairs, moving as quietly as possible and making a beeline for his and Jo’s room.
Easing the doorway open quietly, his eyes moved to the bed where she was still asleep, curled up on her side away from him. He didn’t want to disturb her-he figured he’d wake her up when he was less in need of a shower and a breath mint. Closing the door quietly behind him, he eased his way around the room to the bathroom, freezing only for a brief moment when she stirred and he thought she had woken up. She only shifted over onto her stomach before drifting back off to sleep again, and he let out a slow exhale, before continuing the rest of the way to the bathroom.
Once the door was closed behind him, he turned the shower up as high as it would go, before stripping down and stepping under the spray, not caring if his skin blistered from the heat of the water. A hot shower had never, ever, felt as good as it did right then.
And considering some of the jobs he’s done-that’s really saying something.
781 words