For muse_shuffle | April Disc Two
18. If you wrote me off I'd understand it
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed
[‘Landed’ - Ben Folds]
[Co-written with missparamedic | Follows THIS]
Evie was still reeling from the news of Robert Chase having cancer. She stood at the nurse's station in Oncology just staring into nothing. Even while she'd been talking to him, she hadn't genuinely thought that he'd have it. Okay, yes, there was a family history, and yes, there'd been a lump. But this was Dr Chase... he was invincible, even in a coma. Evie was trying to come to terms with the fact that she would be seeing a lot more of him on this floor, and it left her heart feeling heavy. She could only imagine how his wife would be feeling. She wanted desperately to pick up the phone and tell Riley, but it wasn't her news to tell. Maybe she'd just call him up and tell him she loved him instead.
He might have had HIV, but with the right medication he would live for a long time yet. As pessimistic as it was, the moment cancer decided to get you--that was it. You were dead. Chase might pull through this, and he might not. There were too many variables. She cleared her throat as she started to drag herself back to the present, and tried to think of what she had to do next. It wasn't going to help if she just stood around staring into space for the rest of her shift.
Emma was obviously still in her paramedic uniform as she made her way nervously up to the Oncology ward of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. She worried her lip with her thumb and forefinger as she rode the elevator up and when she stepped out into the corridor, she spotted the large Oncology sign above some double doors in the distance. Her shift had ended, but rather than going home from the station, she had gotten in her car and driven straight back to the hospital. She couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to at least try her luck here. She walked slowly into the ward, looking around hesitantly. It didn't take long to find the nurses' station and she approached with a small clear of her throat. "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me?" she requested quietly.
"I can try," Evie replied as she turned at the voice, and tried to put on a polite smile. It didn't really reach her eyes though. "Long way from the ER, aren't you?"
Emma was taken aback at the abrupt comment but she didn't outwardly react to it. She bit back a retort about being too stupid to read signs because she wasn't a real doctor, as tempting as it was. All she damn well asked for was some help. "I'm looking for someone called Evie Miller," she began. "I was directed to this ward."
Evie held up a hand in apology, having realised how she must have sounded. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day." Then she blinked, and couldn't stop the colour draining from her face. "I'm Evie Miller. Is everything okay? Is Riley okay? He's not--nothing's happened, has it?"
Emma was unable to stop herself just staring at the woman. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. God knows how she was coming across. It only just occurred to her that 'Riley Browne' in the ER was linked to Evie. It hadn't really dawned on her at the time because she was reeling just hearing the name. But of course, it made sense. He had mentioned her name and her location, so of course he was linked to her. It was too much to try and process what the link was, though. "I-I, um..." she stammered and then shook her head a little, stealing back her composure. "Yeah, I... I mean, I don't know Riley. That's not why I'm here. Is your full name Evelyn? Evelyn Miller?"
Some colour started to return to Evie's cheeks and she gave a slow nod, staring back at the brunette. Now she was just even more confused. What would a paramedic want with her if it wasn't because someone was in trouble? "Yes, but no one's called me that since birth. And Mrs Henderson, but the woman was a bitch. Made fifth grade hell. I'm sorry, I'm still not sure what it is that I can help you with."
Emma put her hand up to her mouth. Over a year searching... no way. It couldn't be here. "I'm sorry, but is your father Keith Miller, a psych professor in New York?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse and her heart was thumping in her chest. Her eyes were wide as she watched Evie in awe. She was gorgeous.
She could feel an eyebrow creeping up as she looked at the paramedic questioningly. Evie felt at such a disadvantage given she seemed to know everything about Evie and Evie knew nothing about her. She still wasn't answering her question. "Yes." Please don't let this be some new conquest that wanted revenge. "Father might be a bit of a loose term given his penchant for choosing only to act as one when he feels like it."
"Or not at all," Emma mumbled as a frown furrowed her brow. She rubbed the back of her neck, giving just about anything for a massage to relieve the tension there. "I... I really need to talk to you," she finally said, looking helplessly at Evie.
"Shit, has he got you pregnant?" Evie had no idea why her mind went there, but it did. She also had no idea how she was supposed to fix her father's mess. Evie glanced at her watch and sighed. "Well, I'm pretty much due for a break. Do you want to grab some coffee?"
Emma nodded. "I think that's a good idea," she agreed, unable to really take her eyes off Evie. But dragged them away. She didn't want her to think she was a total freak. A small shiver ran up her spine at the whole pregnant question. It was wrong for so many reasons, but of course, Evie had no clue of anything and Emma was suddenly terrified she might not want anything to do with her. So many months of anticipation could be zapped in two small words of 'Get fucked'.
Evie guided the brunette back towards the elevators and pushed the button to go down. She had no idea what kind of small talk was appropriate right now, so an awkward silence descended over them. She pulled her ponytail out, and tried to redo it as the elevator doors opened, getting the tie back in place in time to hit the button for the ground floor. "Can I at least get your name?" she finally asked as they started to move downwards. "That way I won't get the urge just to say 'hey you' all the time."
"Emma," she replied, watching the numbers light up as they descended. "Emma Hamilton." She dropped her eyes to glance at Evie again momentarily. "You're a nurse." Stupid, probably. It sounded stupid when it came out of her mouth, but she was astounded. Emma had a Nursing degree too. They were both technically nurses and that was just... well, Emma felt like her head was about to explode.
"In Oncology, yes," Evie said, trying to be friendly. It was a bit stupid, but for whatever reason, Emma was nervous and seemed like she was about to fall over from shock at any second. Evie had never met anyone that had had that reaction to her. Just made her more curious about why Emma was trying to find her. "It's all I've ever wanted to do." The doors dinged open finally and Evie got off to lead the woman out into the fresh air where she knew there'd be a coffee cart. The weather wasn't too bad considering, and Evie needed to know the sky and grass still existed outside of the hospital walls. Sometimes it was easy to forget about nature.
Emma just followed quietly at first. How was she supposed to know what to do in this situation? "My Mom's a lawyer. Well, she's a Professor of Law now, at Harvard. I never wanted to do that. I don't know why." Oh hell, the stupid was spawning. If she kept talking, she was going to start speaking Pig Latin or something. Why would Evie give a shit about her mother? Or her? She didn't know who the fuck she was! She scratched at her arm as they neared the coffee cart. At least that would give her something to do with her hands. She took her wallet from her bag. "Please, let me get this. It's the least I can do after I interrupted your shift."
"Actually, you had good timing. I think I needed an interruption." However bizarre. Evie didn't argue about the coffee, realising a little too late that her money was back up in her locker. "I think my Dad being a psych professor is precisely why I've avoided the field. After my Mom got diagnosed with cancer, being a nurse is all I ever thought about. Doctors kind of wind up doing all the curing, but someone's got to care about the patients."
Emma blinked. "Your Mom has cancer?" she asked and distractedly handed over a fifty dollar note to the barista. No, things like that weren't supposed to come to light. It had all been happy and bouncy in Emma's head. There was no blights. Nothing like cancer.
"Had," Evie corrected with a sad expression. "She died when I was younger. It's been me and Dad for a long time, but it's been me on my own for what feels like longer." She shrugged her shoulders and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "It doesn't matter, it's just history. Hopefully it'll be me and Riley for a lot longer."
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't meant to drag that up for you..." Emma accepted her change, shoving it hastily into her wallet, which disappeared back into her bag. She handed Evie her coffee and picked up her own, cupping her hands around it. "I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose my Mom. It's just me and her. Always has been... Riley is... I think I might have seen him in the ER this shift. Tall doctor, glasses, curly hair?"
Evie accepted the coffee with a nod and cleared her throat as she started to laugh softly. "Stop apologising. It's not your fault, and you haven't dragged anything up. Mom's never far from my thoughts, I've just learned to live with the fact she's not here anymore. You probably know how it feels anyway, since it's just you and your mother." Evie's smile increased as her blue eyes lit up. "That would be him. Sexy as all fuck as far as I'm concerned. He's my fiancé."
Emma had mind to blush just slightly. She had been blatantly perving on her sister's fiancé! But more to the point, her sister could bag gorgeous hotties like that and Emma's love life was with a tub of B&Js and a romantic comedy DVD. It was kind of depressing. "I have to admit I accidentally overheard him talking to another doctor. Something about not being there for months or something. Not that it's any of my business. Today was my first day on the job in Princeton. I... I transferred here from New York."
"Yeah, I come from Manhattan originally, so I know what it's like. Princeton's great once you get settled and find friends. Makes it easy having my best friend here. So you overheard him and... you knew where to find me? That's the 'direction' you got?" Evie frowned as she took off the lid of her coffee and blew over it. "Riley suffered a needlestick injury at the hands of an ER patient. He's been working in ICU for a while." She wasn't about to tell some stranger about his HIV. Emma would probably here about the needlestick regardless since PPTH loved to talk.
"My god," Emma said with a frown as she slipped into the seat at the picnic bench. "Every health professional's worst nightmare. That would explain why his friend asked him if it was too soon. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. It was just kind of an accident. I... yeah, he mentioned your name. That's how I knew." She played nervously with the edge of the cup lid. "I grew up n Boston, but moved to New York for my job. See, I came looking for you because I have a connection to your father."
"I promise I won't ask if you're pregnant this time," Evie said with a slight smile. She sat down near Emma and looked at the other woman. "Yeah, it's not been too great for Riley, but he's stronger than he realises and he has plenty of friends to look after him. He's lucky he's got a good support network."
Emma nodded. "I only saw him for two minutes, at the most, but he seemed like a nice guy. Kind of the shy sort." She scrunched her nose up a little. "It would be an immaculate conception. My sex life is non-existent and has been for months. I used to commiserate with my boss slash closest friend but he went and found himself a little hottie, who he is now living with on the Upper East Side." She paused and let out a small sigh. "I have to tell you something and I really don't know how you're going to take it."
Evie's eyebrows shot up. "Well, I can't exactly tell you how I'm going to take it until you tell me what it is."
Emma's shoulders slumped a little. "Your father slept with my mother," she revealed quietly.
"Okay..." Evie kept watching her. "My father's been sleeping with a lot of women lately. It's no big secret, but I'm sorry if he hurt your mother."
Emma shook her head and tucked some stray dark hair behind her ear. It was so different to Evie's, but looking closely at the other woman now, she realised they had the same eyes. "No, not recently. Nearly twenty five years ago," she said, watching Evie closely. "Keith Miller is my father."
Evie felt like she'd suddenly been shoved under water. There was a rushing in her ears that had nothing to do with a breeze. She struggled to find anything to say, let alone breathe. "What?" she suddenly blurted, and only managed not to drop her coffee by taking it in both hands. "I--what?"
Emma fumbled in her bag and pulled out a crumpled and creased photocopy of her birth certificate. She had been carrying it around ever since she started looking for her sister and it seemed surreal that she was about to actually produce it now. She unfolded it and tried to hastily smooth out the creases and pushed it across the table to Evie. "He came to Harvard for a conference and my Mom was just an Assistant Professor there then. They had a one night stand and then she found out she was pregnant. He didn't... well, he didn't want to know about it because he was married so he just paid Mom off and that was the end of it. She never saw him again. But it's true. I-I didn't know about you until recently. Just over a year ago. That's when I started looking for you..."
Evie set her coffee down with shaky hands, and tried to send out a telepathic call to Riley to come find her and catch her in case she fell over. She knew she didn't really have telepathic powers, but it was worth a try. If there was ever a time she needed him... Her fingers touched the end of the birth certificate, and her stomach dropped like she'd just been in a lift that went down too fast. "You're my... I have a sister?" Her face twisted as she tried to work out if she was going to cry, or scream. "My Dad is your Dad? He... fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit."
"Yeah, I... I'm sorry. I know this has to be hard for you..." Now that she was faced with it, Emma realised just how this could all be going wrong. No matter how many times she envisaged this meeting, it wasn't working out like any of them. She was now left feeling like she did something wrong. Maybe she should've just left well enough alone. She didn't have a Riley to send telepathic messages to. She was alone in a strange town with an apartment full of boxes. She was sure she had never felt this isolated in her life. She hugged her hands around her arms and bit down on her lip.
"I have a sister," Evie repeated as she felt her bottom lip tremble. Oh god, she was going to cry. Truth was it actually took a lot for Evie to cry. Since her Mom died, she'd become hardened to a lot of things, and didn't think anything could ever hurt as much as that. Almost losing Riley after those twenty days had come close, and now this... How could her Dad have not said anything? "No, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine what it must have taken for you to find me. I just--you caught me off guard. I wasn't exactly ever expecting a sister to rock up out of the blue. My fucking father... And he thinks he understands the human condition."
Emma tentatively reached out and rested her hand on Evie's arm. It felt strange, but she kept it there. "I-I like to think he was just trying to do the right thing by you and your Mom. Of course, I never knew you existed. Not back then. Mom did. At least, she knew your Mom was pregnant, after the fact. She was hurt. When he walked away she didn't have the energy to try and fight it. She just decided to raise me on her own and my grandparents helped. I mean, I guess there isn't much of an age gap between me and I know this must suck for you. I just... I just had to meet you."
Evie braced her elbow against the table so she could rest her forehead in her hand as she cried. She couldn't even think of anything to say. Emma's hand did feel strange over hers, but Evie flipped her hand over and took Emma's in hers. This was her sister. All these years she had a sister, and had just been oblivious to her existence. She thought of Riley and Tab, and wondered if there would have ever been a change for her and Emma to be that close. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed and eventually she sniffed loudly and lifted her head up as she wiped her eyes. "I can't... I mean, these past few years I've gotten used to him being a ladies man, but I didn't even consider he'd been like that before. He was perfect with Mom, and he'd loved her so much. I don't really... I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."
Emma shook her head and gripped Evie's hand. "It's okay," she said quietly, some tears slipping down her cheeks too. "I don't really know what to say either. I imagined this epic movie-esque meeting where we would throw our arms around each other and live happily ever after, but it was deluded, I know. We're strangers. We just have the same blood. I just want you to know I'm not pressuring you into anything. This is... it's huge and if you want nothing to do with me, I'll understand. I can't imagine this is how you expected your day to pan out and to hear that your father had a secret like this... but I... I'm glad you haven't told me to fuck off, because believe me, I imagined that scenario too."
Evie managed to smile. "Hard to tell you to fuck off when you had that whole crazy mystique thing going on. Besides, I'm not my father. I'm confused, and angry, and shocked, but I'm not him. I won't tell you to fuck off straight away. Sorry I couldn't do the whole movie-esque thing. I just need some time." Evie wiped at her eyes again, and looked at Emma. "Fuck. A sister. You got a number? Maybe after I pick myself up off the floor I can give you a call?"
"911?" Emma joked weakly and then waved her hand. She started looking around in her bag for a piece of paper and a pen. "I know, lame joke. I'm sorry. I'm nervous. It did look like I interrupted a bad day for you, maybe. I apologise for that again. But when I heard your fiancé say your name in the ER, I just couldn't let it go. Actually, he kind of looked like he was having a bit of a bad day too. You two should get a bottle of wine and a takeout tonight. Put your feet up." She was rambling now but she came up trumps with a pen and paper, scrawling her number and her address down.
"Someone we know got diagnosed with cancer. I guess I was in shock, only not like right now." Evie laughed softly at the lame joke and shrugged. "It's okay, I can understand the nerves. I'm glad you took the chance, even if it doesn't really seem like it." Evie took the bit of paper and slid the birth certificate back to Emma. "I don't know why he would be having a bad day other than if ER's been hard on him. I'll definitely consider the wine and takeout. Thanks, Emma."
"That was maybe the wrong wording. He just looked stressed. If it's his first day back, it's probably straining." Emma shoved the pen back into her back and picked up her untouched coffee to stand up. "I should probably let you get back to work. I'm sorry again I had to show up when things are so hard for you. I think your fiancé thinks I'm a weird fuck, too. He caught me listening but I was really just stunned he said your name. Not that he knows who I am, but if there are mentions of a crazy, nosey paramedic bitch, that's me."
She hesitated for a moment and then stopped to give Evie a brief one-armed hug. "Thank you for at least hearing me out."
Evie patted Emma's back awkwardly as she smiled. "Anytime. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm running off, but I have to get back to work. It was... it was interesting to meet you, Emma Hamilton."
Emma smiled and let her hand linger on Evie's shoulder momentarily. Their gaze met and Emma decided they really did have the same eyes. It was enough proof for her. "If you need anything, anytime, call me," she said and then started to walk away, waving a little before turning to head back to her car. Her stomach was doing somersaults, but for the first time in ages, things felt like they were going right for her.
Words: 3887
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed
[‘Landed’ - Ben Folds]
[Co-written with missparamedic | Follows THIS]
Evie was still reeling from the news of Robert Chase having cancer. She stood at the nurse's station in Oncology just staring into nothing. Even while she'd been talking to him, she hadn't genuinely thought that he'd have it. Okay, yes, there was a family history, and yes, there'd been a lump. But this was Dr Chase... he was invincible, even in a coma. Evie was trying to come to terms with the fact that she would be seeing a lot more of him on this floor, and it left her heart feeling heavy. She could only imagine how his wife would be feeling. She wanted desperately to pick up the phone and tell Riley, but it wasn't her news to tell. Maybe she'd just call him up and tell him she loved him instead.
He might have had HIV, but with the right medication he would live for a long time yet. As pessimistic as it was, the moment cancer decided to get you--that was it. You were dead. Chase might pull through this, and he might not. There were too many variables. She cleared her throat as she started to drag herself back to the present, and tried to think of what she had to do next. It wasn't going to help if she just stood around staring into space for the rest of her shift.
Emma was obviously still in her paramedic uniform as she made her way nervously up to the Oncology ward of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. She worried her lip with her thumb and forefinger as she rode the elevator up and when she stepped out into the corridor, she spotted the large Oncology sign above some double doors in the distance. Her shift had ended, but rather than going home from the station, she had gotten in her car and driven straight back to the hospital. She couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to at least try her luck here. She walked slowly into the ward, looking around hesitantly. It didn't take long to find the nurses' station and she approached with a small clear of her throat. "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me?" she requested quietly.
"I can try," Evie replied as she turned at the voice, and tried to put on a polite smile. It didn't really reach her eyes though. "Long way from the ER, aren't you?"
Emma was taken aback at the abrupt comment but she didn't outwardly react to it. She bit back a retort about being too stupid to read signs because she wasn't a real doctor, as tempting as it was. All she damn well asked for was some help. "I'm looking for someone called Evie Miller," she began. "I was directed to this ward."
Evie held up a hand in apology, having realised how she must have sounded. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day." Then she blinked, and couldn't stop the colour draining from her face. "I'm Evie Miller. Is everything okay? Is Riley okay? He's not--nothing's happened, has it?"
Emma was unable to stop herself just staring at the woman. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. God knows how she was coming across. It only just occurred to her that 'Riley Browne' in the ER was linked to Evie. It hadn't really dawned on her at the time because she was reeling just hearing the name. But of course, it made sense. He had mentioned her name and her location, so of course he was linked to her. It was too much to try and process what the link was, though. "I-I, um..." she stammered and then shook her head a little, stealing back her composure. "Yeah, I... I mean, I don't know Riley. That's not why I'm here. Is your full name Evelyn? Evelyn Miller?"
Some colour started to return to Evie's cheeks and she gave a slow nod, staring back at the brunette. Now she was just even more confused. What would a paramedic want with her if it wasn't because someone was in trouble? "Yes, but no one's called me that since birth. And Mrs Henderson, but the woman was a bitch. Made fifth grade hell. I'm sorry, I'm still not sure what it is that I can help you with."
Emma put her hand up to her mouth. Over a year searching... no way. It couldn't be here. "I'm sorry, but is your father Keith Miller, a psych professor in New York?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse and her heart was thumping in her chest. Her eyes were wide as she watched Evie in awe. She was gorgeous.
She could feel an eyebrow creeping up as she looked at the paramedic questioningly. Evie felt at such a disadvantage given she seemed to know everything about Evie and Evie knew nothing about her. She still wasn't answering her question. "Yes." Please don't let this be some new conquest that wanted revenge. "Father might be a bit of a loose term given his penchant for choosing only to act as one when he feels like it."
"Or not at all," Emma mumbled as a frown furrowed her brow. She rubbed the back of her neck, giving just about anything for a massage to relieve the tension there. "I... I really need to talk to you," she finally said, looking helplessly at Evie.
"Shit, has he got you pregnant?" Evie had no idea why her mind went there, but it did. She also had no idea how she was supposed to fix her father's mess. Evie glanced at her watch and sighed. "Well, I'm pretty much due for a break. Do you want to grab some coffee?"
Emma nodded. "I think that's a good idea," she agreed, unable to really take her eyes off Evie. But dragged them away. She didn't want her to think she was a total freak. A small shiver ran up her spine at the whole pregnant question. It was wrong for so many reasons, but of course, Evie had no clue of anything and Emma was suddenly terrified she might not want anything to do with her. So many months of anticipation could be zapped in two small words of 'Get fucked'.
Evie guided the brunette back towards the elevators and pushed the button to go down. She had no idea what kind of small talk was appropriate right now, so an awkward silence descended over them. She pulled her ponytail out, and tried to redo it as the elevator doors opened, getting the tie back in place in time to hit the button for the ground floor. "Can I at least get your name?" she finally asked as they started to move downwards. "That way I won't get the urge just to say 'hey you' all the time."
"Emma," she replied, watching the numbers light up as they descended. "Emma Hamilton." She dropped her eyes to glance at Evie again momentarily. "You're a nurse." Stupid, probably. It sounded stupid when it came out of her mouth, but she was astounded. Emma had a Nursing degree too. They were both technically nurses and that was just... well, Emma felt like her head was about to explode.
"In Oncology, yes," Evie said, trying to be friendly. It was a bit stupid, but for whatever reason, Emma was nervous and seemed like she was about to fall over from shock at any second. Evie had never met anyone that had had that reaction to her. Just made her more curious about why Emma was trying to find her. "It's all I've ever wanted to do." The doors dinged open finally and Evie got off to lead the woman out into the fresh air where she knew there'd be a coffee cart. The weather wasn't too bad considering, and Evie needed to know the sky and grass still existed outside of the hospital walls. Sometimes it was easy to forget about nature.
Emma just followed quietly at first. How was she supposed to know what to do in this situation? "My Mom's a lawyer. Well, she's a Professor of Law now, at Harvard. I never wanted to do that. I don't know why." Oh hell, the stupid was spawning. If she kept talking, she was going to start speaking Pig Latin or something. Why would Evie give a shit about her mother? Or her? She didn't know who the fuck she was! She scratched at her arm as they neared the coffee cart. At least that would give her something to do with her hands. She took her wallet from her bag. "Please, let me get this. It's the least I can do after I interrupted your shift."
"Actually, you had good timing. I think I needed an interruption." However bizarre. Evie didn't argue about the coffee, realising a little too late that her money was back up in her locker. "I think my Dad being a psych professor is precisely why I've avoided the field. After my Mom got diagnosed with cancer, being a nurse is all I ever thought about. Doctors kind of wind up doing all the curing, but someone's got to care about the patients."
Emma blinked. "Your Mom has cancer?" she asked and distractedly handed over a fifty dollar note to the barista. No, things like that weren't supposed to come to light. It had all been happy and bouncy in Emma's head. There was no blights. Nothing like cancer.
"Had," Evie corrected with a sad expression. "She died when I was younger. It's been me and Dad for a long time, but it's been me on my own for what feels like longer." She shrugged her shoulders and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "It doesn't matter, it's just history. Hopefully it'll be me and Riley for a lot longer."
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't meant to drag that up for you..." Emma accepted her change, shoving it hastily into her wallet, which disappeared back into her bag. She handed Evie her coffee and picked up her own, cupping her hands around it. "I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose my Mom. It's just me and her. Always has been... Riley is... I think I might have seen him in the ER this shift. Tall doctor, glasses, curly hair?"
Evie accepted the coffee with a nod and cleared her throat as she started to laugh softly. "Stop apologising. It's not your fault, and you haven't dragged anything up. Mom's never far from my thoughts, I've just learned to live with the fact she's not here anymore. You probably know how it feels anyway, since it's just you and your mother." Evie's smile increased as her blue eyes lit up. "That would be him. Sexy as all fuck as far as I'm concerned. He's my fiancé."
Emma had mind to blush just slightly. She had been blatantly perving on her sister's fiancé! But more to the point, her sister could bag gorgeous hotties like that and Emma's love life was with a tub of B&Js and a romantic comedy DVD. It was kind of depressing. "I have to admit I accidentally overheard him talking to another doctor. Something about not being there for months or something. Not that it's any of my business. Today was my first day on the job in Princeton. I... I transferred here from New York."
"Yeah, I come from Manhattan originally, so I know what it's like. Princeton's great once you get settled and find friends. Makes it easy having my best friend here. So you overheard him and... you knew where to find me? That's the 'direction' you got?" Evie frowned as she took off the lid of her coffee and blew over it. "Riley suffered a needlestick injury at the hands of an ER patient. He's been working in ICU for a while." She wasn't about to tell some stranger about his HIV. Emma would probably here about the needlestick regardless since PPTH loved to talk.
"My god," Emma said with a frown as she slipped into the seat at the picnic bench. "Every health professional's worst nightmare. That would explain why his friend asked him if it was too soon. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. It was just kind of an accident. I... yeah, he mentioned your name. That's how I knew." She played nervously with the edge of the cup lid. "I grew up n Boston, but moved to New York for my job. See, I came looking for you because I have a connection to your father."
"I promise I won't ask if you're pregnant this time," Evie said with a slight smile. She sat down near Emma and looked at the other woman. "Yeah, it's not been too great for Riley, but he's stronger than he realises and he has plenty of friends to look after him. He's lucky he's got a good support network."
Emma nodded. "I only saw him for two minutes, at the most, but he seemed like a nice guy. Kind of the shy sort." She scrunched her nose up a little. "It would be an immaculate conception. My sex life is non-existent and has been for months. I used to commiserate with my boss slash closest friend but he went and found himself a little hottie, who he is now living with on the Upper East Side." She paused and let out a small sigh. "I have to tell you something and I really don't know how you're going to take it."
Evie's eyebrows shot up. "Well, I can't exactly tell you how I'm going to take it until you tell me what it is."
Emma's shoulders slumped a little. "Your father slept with my mother," she revealed quietly.
"Okay..." Evie kept watching her. "My father's been sleeping with a lot of women lately. It's no big secret, but I'm sorry if he hurt your mother."
Emma shook her head and tucked some stray dark hair behind her ear. It was so different to Evie's, but looking closely at the other woman now, she realised they had the same eyes. "No, not recently. Nearly twenty five years ago," she said, watching Evie closely. "Keith Miller is my father."
Evie felt like she'd suddenly been shoved under water. There was a rushing in her ears that had nothing to do with a breeze. She struggled to find anything to say, let alone breathe. "What?" she suddenly blurted, and only managed not to drop her coffee by taking it in both hands. "I--what?"
Emma fumbled in her bag and pulled out a crumpled and creased photocopy of her birth certificate. She had been carrying it around ever since she started looking for her sister and it seemed surreal that she was about to actually produce it now. She unfolded it and tried to hastily smooth out the creases and pushed it across the table to Evie. "He came to Harvard for a conference and my Mom was just an Assistant Professor there then. They had a one night stand and then she found out she was pregnant. He didn't... well, he didn't want to know about it because he was married so he just paid Mom off and that was the end of it. She never saw him again. But it's true. I-I didn't know about you until recently. Just over a year ago. That's when I started looking for you..."
Evie set her coffee down with shaky hands, and tried to send out a telepathic call to Riley to come find her and catch her in case she fell over. She knew she didn't really have telepathic powers, but it was worth a try. If there was ever a time she needed him... Her fingers touched the end of the birth certificate, and her stomach dropped like she'd just been in a lift that went down too fast. "You're my... I have a sister?" Her face twisted as she tried to work out if she was going to cry, or scream. "My Dad is your Dad? He... fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit."
"Yeah, I... I'm sorry. I know this has to be hard for you..." Now that she was faced with it, Emma realised just how this could all be going wrong. No matter how many times she envisaged this meeting, it wasn't working out like any of them. She was now left feeling like she did something wrong. Maybe she should've just left well enough alone. She didn't have a Riley to send telepathic messages to. She was alone in a strange town with an apartment full of boxes. She was sure she had never felt this isolated in her life. She hugged her hands around her arms and bit down on her lip.
"I have a sister," Evie repeated as she felt her bottom lip tremble. Oh god, she was going to cry. Truth was it actually took a lot for Evie to cry. Since her Mom died, she'd become hardened to a lot of things, and didn't think anything could ever hurt as much as that. Almost losing Riley after those twenty days had come close, and now this... How could her Dad have not said anything? "No, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine what it must have taken for you to find me. I just--you caught me off guard. I wasn't exactly ever expecting a sister to rock up out of the blue. My fucking father... And he thinks he understands the human condition."
Emma tentatively reached out and rested her hand on Evie's arm. It felt strange, but she kept it there. "I-I like to think he was just trying to do the right thing by you and your Mom. Of course, I never knew you existed. Not back then. Mom did. At least, she knew your Mom was pregnant, after the fact. She was hurt. When he walked away she didn't have the energy to try and fight it. She just decided to raise me on her own and my grandparents helped. I mean, I guess there isn't much of an age gap between me and I know this must suck for you. I just... I just had to meet you."
Evie braced her elbow against the table so she could rest her forehead in her hand as she cried. She couldn't even think of anything to say. Emma's hand did feel strange over hers, but Evie flipped her hand over and took Emma's in hers. This was her sister. All these years she had a sister, and had just been oblivious to her existence. She thought of Riley and Tab, and wondered if there would have ever been a change for her and Emma to be that close. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed and eventually she sniffed loudly and lifted her head up as she wiped her eyes. "I can't... I mean, these past few years I've gotten used to him being a ladies man, but I didn't even consider he'd been like that before. He was perfect with Mom, and he'd loved her so much. I don't really... I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."
Emma shook her head and gripped Evie's hand. "It's okay," she said quietly, some tears slipping down her cheeks too. "I don't really know what to say either. I imagined this epic movie-esque meeting where we would throw our arms around each other and live happily ever after, but it was deluded, I know. We're strangers. We just have the same blood. I just want you to know I'm not pressuring you into anything. This is... it's huge and if you want nothing to do with me, I'll understand. I can't imagine this is how you expected your day to pan out and to hear that your father had a secret like this... but I... I'm glad you haven't told me to fuck off, because believe me, I imagined that scenario too."
Evie managed to smile. "Hard to tell you to fuck off when you had that whole crazy mystique thing going on. Besides, I'm not my father. I'm confused, and angry, and shocked, but I'm not him. I won't tell you to fuck off straight away. Sorry I couldn't do the whole movie-esque thing. I just need some time." Evie wiped at her eyes again, and looked at Emma. "Fuck. A sister. You got a number? Maybe after I pick myself up off the floor I can give you a call?"
"911?" Emma joked weakly and then waved her hand. She started looking around in her bag for a piece of paper and a pen. "I know, lame joke. I'm sorry. I'm nervous. It did look like I interrupted a bad day for you, maybe. I apologise for that again. But when I heard your fiancé say your name in the ER, I just couldn't let it go. Actually, he kind of looked like he was having a bit of a bad day too. You two should get a bottle of wine and a takeout tonight. Put your feet up." She was rambling now but she came up trumps with a pen and paper, scrawling her number and her address down.
"Someone we know got diagnosed with cancer. I guess I was in shock, only not like right now." Evie laughed softly at the lame joke and shrugged. "It's okay, I can understand the nerves. I'm glad you took the chance, even if it doesn't really seem like it." Evie took the bit of paper and slid the birth certificate back to Emma. "I don't know why he would be having a bad day other than if ER's been hard on him. I'll definitely consider the wine and takeout. Thanks, Emma."
"That was maybe the wrong wording. He just looked stressed. If it's his first day back, it's probably straining." Emma shoved the pen back into her back and picked up her untouched coffee to stand up. "I should probably let you get back to work. I'm sorry again I had to show up when things are so hard for you. I think your fiancé thinks I'm a weird fuck, too. He caught me listening but I was really just stunned he said your name. Not that he knows who I am, but if there are mentions of a crazy, nosey paramedic bitch, that's me."
She hesitated for a moment and then stopped to give Evie a brief one-armed hug. "Thank you for at least hearing me out."
Evie patted Emma's back awkwardly as she smiled. "Anytime. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm running off, but I have to get back to work. It was... it was interesting to meet you, Emma Hamilton."
Emma smiled and let her hand linger on Evie's shoulder momentarily. Their gaze met and Emma decided they really did have the same eyes. It was enough proof for her. "If you need anything, anytime, call me," she said and then started to walk away, waving a little before turning to head back to her car. Her stomach was doing somersaults, but for the first time in ages, things felt like they were going right for her.
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