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[immortaltwat]

In Loving Memory
Nathan Young
1989 - 3000

Who turned out to not be so immortal after all.
Gored up the anus with a red hot poker by midgets
who could not take his promiscuity anymore.

Sadly missed by all but one of his many
tri-breasted wives and mutant children.

You know, I have a proper one of these my mum wrote for me. It was a lot more

Comments

[binarysky]

...your life sounds really interesting.

[immortaltwat]

It comes with the territory. You get a superpower, weird shit just comes flooding to you.

[binarysky]

You have a superpower? What do you do?

[immortaltwat]

What, can't you read, or something? I'm immortal. It says right on the grave stone thing.

[loonyandproud]

[Campbell is dying of laughter, omg, seriously, Nathan.]

That cannae really be your Kryptonite!

[immortaltwat]

How do you know it isn't?

It could be any way I haven't died yet!

[loonyandproud]

Aye, but that's awful.

Anyway, it's never too late t' start making a connection wi' your estranged triple-breasted wife or mutated wean. Now that y' know the future, a' course.

[immortaltwat]

Nah. She's probably really old and bitter I won't shag her anymore. I'm not making up with her.

As for the kids, I might be rich, but I'm not that rich. They can spend as much non-shagging time with daddy as they want, but if they're after pocket money, they can fuck right off.

[eiremagic]

Nineteen eighty-nine?

[immortaltwat]

Yes. What about it?

[eiremagic]

Fuck, yeh're young.

[immortaltwat]

Well, you're hardly an old lady yourself, now, are you?