FIC: Falling and Healing (House MD, FRAO)
Title: Falling and Healing
Author: JE / immortalje
Pairing: House/Chase
Summary: House tries to kill himself and Chase saves him. Now they have to save their relationship.
Rating: FRAO
Beta: Thousand thanks to Lex... all remaining mistakes are mine.
Spoiler: first season, especially "Babies and Bathwaters"
AN: This is the FRAO version of the story which includes the part "Making Up". Only read if your old enough. FRT version is here.
Edit: picked for my 100moods. Prompt 12 "Broken"
Table
Falling and Healing
FALLING
House was sitting in the supply room, staring at the knife in his hand. Cuddy was watching Vogler firing him now. At least he had made sure his patients would be taken care of.
He was just setting the knife on his wrist, ready to cut, when the door was thrown open.
Paying no attention, other than inwardly cursing about losing his concentration momentarily, House prepared himself for another attempt at a steady cut, holding the hand over the cup beneath it.
House was forced to stay his cutting hand and look up when someone sat down in his lap, pinning him to the floor.
“Don’t do it because I was stupid enough to fall into Vogler’s trap,” pleaded Chase. “Especially not now that he’s gone and everything’s back to normal.”
House looked down at the bleeding line on his wrist. It was only a minor cut, nothing dangerous yet. The pain was nothing, compared to being close to Chase again.
“I’m sorry. I overreacted and I… I’m sorry. I still love you. I should have heard you out when you wanted to talk to me about my father. For all I know, you could have had an apology ready,” continued Chase.
With that Chase collapsed and hugged House tightly.
Astonished, House let the knife drop to the floor and hugged the younger man back. Neither of them cared about the tears falling from their eyes.
PRETENDING
Once they had calmed down they went to House’s office, where they celebrated the departure of Edward Vogler. Both knew that their happiness was an act, but they still pretended that everything was alright, that nothing was wrong. Then again, who could be happy after all that had happened? Both could see the underlying tension in the other.
Foreman didn’t need to know and House didn’t want Wilson to know how low he had sunk - at least, not so soon after it had happened. This wasn’t something he was willing to share with anyone. All that mattered now was that things were back to normal.
In the end the pretending wasn’t all too difficult. Wilson was just glad that he had his job back and Foreman was relaxing now that the tension was gone.
When Cuddy came in and mourned the loss of so much money, House wished that he was able to turn back time and have Cuddy vote against him and that he’d picked a better place to do the deed. Nonetheless, he pretended that everything was right, that Chase didn’t watch his every move, that there weren’t so many problems in their relationship, and, most of all, that they weren’t both always conscious that House had attempted suicide.
It didn’t take long for things to break up after Cuddy left shortly thereafter. Wilson said something about having to put everything back in place in his office and Foreman mentioned a date, the mood just being too sombre after Cuddy left to mourn the lost money on her own. They all knew that the money could have saved patients and it was a big loss for the hospital.
He wasn’t scared about his talk with Chase. He wasn’t. It was just that he was afraid to confront their problems. To stop pretending that nothing was wrong.
TALKING
Without saying anything, both ended up at House’s place. Silently they entered the living room, avoiding each other’s gaze.
After some time Chase started, “I’m sorry I went to Vogler. I shouldn’t have let my hurt feelings get involved.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard,” admitted House.
Once again silence settled between them, neither knowing what to say. House took the time to sit down, followed by Chase.
After some time, House said, “It’s easy to pretend that nothing is wrong.”
“It won’t make things better, though. It just lets them fester until they blow up. How about we tell each other what we don’t like about the other or this relationship, followed by what we like,” suggested Chase.
House thought for a moment, “There isn’t much that’s negative about you. I think it’s cute the way you eat your pens or how you just come to me to snuggle. I like that you stand up to me when it matters and know when to back down. You’re perfect.”
Chase was blushing, House noticed. Just one more thing he liked about the blonde. There simply were too many things to list.
“I don’t like that you can’t accept a ‘No’. That there are times when you pull back without telling me what’s going on but when I want to do the same, you won’t let me. I love the way you take care of me when I’m feeling down after a case. How you show you care about me. I love your humour. I love watching you,” said Chase.
House looked at him in silence. He had never realised how much he had smothered the younger man while demanding his own freedom. Had never stopped to think. That was the problem. He had never thought about the younger man.
Before House could respond, Chase added, “I know you’re uncomfortable showing your feelings in front of others and I don’t expect you to do it. I just want you to know when to stop before someone gets hurt in the process, when to draw the line.”
House nodded, understanding what the younger man was saying. It would take some time getting used to. He’d have to relearn that. He’d have to learn how not to hang on to his anger about the events surrounding his infarction, have to learn how to let joy into his life once again.
Before he could say anything, Chase was moving over, curling up in his lap, mindful of his bad leg.
MAKING UP (FRAO)
Their cuddling was interrupted when Chase leaned up to kiss House. The soft kiss that the younger man initiated soon heated up and they started undressing each other. When they had gotten rid of their shirts, House stopped.
“Maybe we should use the bedroom,” suggested the older man.
Chase nodded in agreement and got up. After helping House up as well, both hurried to the bedroom, impatient for what was to follow.
Chase quickly got rid of his jeans, before helping House out of his. The first skin on skin contact made both men groan in remembrance of their previous encounters, as long ago as they were.
Chase pushed House back onto the bed, helping him in, and then crawling in next to him. Chase licked the older man’s neck before trailing a wet path of kisses down to House’s crotch. Taking a deep breath of the familiar scent, Chase leaned down and took the half hard cock into his mouth and began to work diligently on it while his hands wandered over House’s body, one tweaking House’s nipples while the other massaged his balls.
When the older man groaned, Chase pulled back. Moving upwards again, he leaned to the side, opening the drawer and grabbing the lube and condoms within.
House took them out of his hands, scattering the condoms on the bed while he opened the bottle.
Preparing Chase quickly and thoroughly, House kept the other man busy by kissing him until both ran out of breath.
Breathlessly, Chase pulled back, before leaning down for a quick kiss while grabbing a condom and ripping it open. Chase pulled it over House’s straining cock, before rising to position himself.
Impaling himself on House, Chase moaned out loud at the sensation, while House’s hands guided him. Their gazes locked, while Chase moved up and down, never breaking the rhythm as it increased.
When their speed was close to frantic, House removed one hand from Chase’s hips and started stroking the younger man’s cock.
It didn’t take long until Chase came, loudly screaming “Greg” House soon followed.
Chase got rid of the condom and picked up his boxers to wipe House and himself down. Clean again, Chase crawled back in bed with House and snuggled close to the older man.
CONFESSING
Chase was surprised at how long it had taken Wilson to ask what was wrong with House. He’d expected it earlier. Nonetheless, it was up to him to tell Wilson what had happened.
He was only glad that he had already cleared what he should say with his lover.
“We’re back together and solving the problems we ignored the last time,” explained Chase.
Wilson wasn’t satisfied with the answer and objected, “There’s more than that. He’s… he’s thinking more. Presents himself differently, more seriously…”
“This isn’t the place to discuss this,” said Chase. He was allowed to tell Wilson if the other man asked, but Chase hadn’t been sure that the question would ever come up, and hadn’t thought ahead about such an in-depth discussion. He’d expected that Wilson would have talked directly to House.
While Chase contemplated this, they arrived in Wilson’s office and went in. Wilson waited in front of his desk, while Chase closed the door.
“What’s really wrong with House?” asked Wilson, worried.
Chase sighed and answered, “He tried to kill himself. The day Vogler was voted out instead of House. He was so sure that he’d be fired, had wanted it even. I found him before he could do anything, though. It was the turning point for us. The moment neither of us could go on pretending anymore.”
“You talked?” asked Wilson, torn between calm and worry.
Chase nodded, “We did. We talked about what we liked and disliked about each other. Or more accurately, I told him what I disliked, as House didn’t find anything to dislike. We’re talking more now. He’s trying to be less angry at the world and the fact that he can’t use his leg as he wants to. It’s not really about the pain he’s feeling, but what he can’t do anymore.”
“I thought he’d gotten over that. I never…,” began Wilson.
Chase interrupted him, “He lied to himself about it. Pretended that he was over it. To say it in his words, ‘it’s easy to pretend nothing is wrong, that everything is alright’.”
“I guess it is,” agreed Wilson sadly. “Will he be alright again?”
“I think so. We’re learning to rely on each other, not to keep everything inside. You don’t know how good it can feel to scream at him and let everything out! And House gets some relief from all his tension when he rages about how unfair everything is. Maybe a bit too much even,” responded Chase seriously.
Wilson nodded relieved, “That’s good to hear. We always tried to give him his space, but maybe that was the wrong thing to do.”
“Anyway, whatever it is you're doing, keep it up, because it's working,” commented Wilson after a while.
Chase smiled at Wilson in relief, glad that the other man approved of his new relationship with House and Wilson returned it equally glad that House had found someone who was so obviously good for him.
The End
Author: JE / immortalje
Pairing: House/Chase
Summary: House tries to kill himself and Chase saves him. Now they have to save their relationship.
Rating: FRAO
Beta: Thousand thanks to Lex... all remaining mistakes are mine.
Spoiler: first season, especially "Babies and Bathwaters"
AN: This is the FRAO version of the story which includes the part "Making Up". Only read if your old enough. FRT version is here.
Edit: picked for my 100moods. Prompt 12 "Broken"
Table
Falling and Healing
FALLING
House was sitting in the supply room, staring at the knife in his hand. Cuddy was watching Vogler firing him now. At least he had made sure his patients would be taken care of.
He was just setting the knife on his wrist, ready to cut, when the door was thrown open.
Paying no attention, other than inwardly cursing about losing his concentration momentarily, House prepared himself for another attempt at a steady cut, holding the hand over the cup beneath it.
House was forced to stay his cutting hand and look up when someone sat down in his lap, pinning him to the floor.
“Don’t do it because I was stupid enough to fall into Vogler’s trap,” pleaded Chase. “Especially not now that he’s gone and everything’s back to normal.”
House looked down at the bleeding line on his wrist. It was only a minor cut, nothing dangerous yet. The pain was nothing, compared to being close to Chase again.
“I’m sorry. I overreacted and I… I’m sorry. I still love you. I should have heard you out when you wanted to talk to me about my father. For all I know, you could have had an apology ready,” continued Chase.
With that Chase collapsed and hugged House tightly.
Astonished, House let the knife drop to the floor and hugged the younger man back. Neither of them cared about the tears falling from their eyes.
PRETENDING
Once they had calmed down they went to House’s office, where they celebrated the departure of Edward Vogler. Both knew that their happiness was an act, but they still pretended that everything was alright, that nothing was wrong. Then again, who could be happy after all that had happened? Both could see the underlying tension in the other.
Foreman didn’t need to know and House didn’t want Wilson to know how low he had sunk - at least, not so soon after it had happened. This wasn’t something he was willing to share with anyone. All that mattered now was that things were back to normal.
In the end the pretending wasn’t all too difficult. Wilson was just glad that he had his job back and Foreman was relaxing now that the tension was gone.
When Cuddy came in and mourned the loss of so much money, House wished that he was able to turn back time and have Cuddy vote against him and that he’d picked a better place to do the deed. Nonetheless, he pretended that everything was right, that Chase didn’t watch his every move, that there weren’t so many problems in their relationship, and, most of all, that they weren’t both always conscious that House had attempted suicide.
It didn’t take long for things to break up after Cuddy left shortly thereafter. Wilson said something about having to put everything back in place in his office and Foreman mentioned a date, the mood just being too sombre after Cuddy left to mourn the lost money on her own. They all knew that the money could have saved patients and it was a big loss for the hospital.
He wasn’t scared about his talk with Chase. He wasn’t. It was just that he was afraid to confront their problems. To stop pretending that nothing was wrong.
TALKING
Without saying anything, both ended up at House’s place. Silently they entered the living room, avoiding each other’s gaze.
After some time Chase started, “I’m sorry I went to Vogler. I shouldn’t have let my hurt feelings get involved.”
“I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard,” admitted House.
Once again silence settled between them, neither knowing what to say. House took the time to sit down, followed by Chase.
After some time, House said, “It’s easy to pretend that nothing is wrong.”
“It won’t make things better, though. It just lets them fester until they blow up. How about we tell each other what we don’t like about the other or this relationship, followed by what we like,” suggested Chase.
House thought for a moment, “There isn’t much that’s negative about you. I think it’s cute the way you eat your pens or how you just come to me to snuggle. I like that you stand up to me when it matters and know when to back down. You’re perfect.”
Chase was blushing, House noticed. Just one more thing he liked about the blonde. There simply were too many things to list.
“I don’t like that you can’t accept a ‘No’. That there are times when you pull back without telling me what’s going on but when I want to do the same, you won’t let me. I love the way you take care of me when I’m feeling down after a case. How you show you care about me. I love your humour. I love watching you,” said Chase.
House looked at him in silence. He had never realised how much he had smothered the younger man while demanding his own freedom. Had never stopped to think. That was the problem. He had never thought about the younger man.
Before House could respond, Chase added, “I know you’re uncomfortable showing your feelings in front of others and I don’t expect you to do it. I just want you to know when to stop before someone gets hurt in the process, when to draw the line.”
House nodded, understanding what the younger man was saying. It would take some time getting used to. He’d have to relearn that. He’d have to learn how not to hang on to his anger about the events surrounding his infarction, have to learn how to let joy into his life once again.
Before he could say anything, Chase was moving over, curling up in his lap, mindful of his bad leg.
MAKING UP (FRAO)
Their cuddling was interrupted when Chase leaned up to kiss House. The soft kiss that the younger man initiated soon heated up and they started undressing each other. When they had gotten rid of their shirts, House stopped.
“Maybe we should use the bedroom,” suggested the older man.
Chase nodded in agreement and got up. After helping House up as well, both hurried to the bedroom, impatient for what was to follow.
Chase quickly got rid of his jeans, before helping House out of his. The first skin on skin contact made both men groan in remembrance of their previous encounters, as long ago as they were.
Chase pushed House back onto the bed, helping him in, and then crawling in next to him. Chase licked the older man’s neck before trailing a wet path of kisses down to House’s crotch. Taking a deep breath of the familiar scent, Chase leaned down and took the half hard cock into his mouth and began to work diligently on it while his hands wandered over House’s body, one tweaking House’s nipples while the other massaged his balls.
When the older man groaned, Chase pulled back. Moving upwards again, he leaned to the side, opening the drawer and grabbing the lube and condoms within.
House took them out of his hands, scattering the condoms on the bed while he opened the bottle.
Preparing Chase quickly and thoroughly, House kept the other man busy by kissing him until both ran out of breath.
Breathlessly, Chase pulled back, before leaning down for a quick kiss while grabbing a condom and ripping it open. Chase pulled it over House’s straining cock, before rising to position himself.
Impaling himself on House, Chase moaned out loud at the sensation, while House’s hands guided him. Their gazes locked, while Chase moved up and down, never breaking the rhythm as it increased.
When their speed was close to frantic, House removed one hand from Chase’s hips and started stroking the younger man’s cock.
It didn’t take long until Chase came, loudly screaming “Greg” House soon followed.
Chase got rid of the condom and picked up his boxers to wipe House and himself down. Clean again, Chase crawled back in bed with House and snuggled close to the older man.
CONFESSING
Chase was surprised at how long it had taken Wilson to ask what was wrong with House. He’d expected it earlier. Nonetheless, it was up to him to tell Wilson what had happened.
He was only glad that he had already cleared what he should say with his lover.
“We’re back together and solving the problems we ignored the last time,” explained Chase.
Wilson wasn’t satisfied with the answer and objected, “There’s more than that. He’s… he’s thinking more. Presents himself differently, more seriously…”
“This isn’t the place to discuss this,” said Chase. He was allowed to tell Wilson if the other man asked, but Chase hadn’t been sure that the question would ever come up, and hadn’t thought ahead about such an in-depth discussion. He’d expected that Wilson would have talked directly to House.
While Chase contemplated this, they arrived in Wilson’s office and went in. Wilson waited in front of his desk, while Chase closed the door.
“What’s really wrong with House?” asked Wilson, worried.
Chase sighed and answered, “He tried to kill himself. The day Vogler was voted out instead of House. He was so sure that he’d be fired, had wanted it even. I found him before he could do anything, though. It was the turning point for us. The moment neither of us could go on pretending anymore.”
“You talked?” asked Wilson, torn between calm and worry.
Chase nodded, “We did. We talked about what we liked and disliked about each other. Or more accurately, I told him what I disliked, as House didn’t find anything to dislike. We’re talking more now. He’s trying to be less angry at the world and the fact that he can’t use his leg as he wants to. It’s not really about the pain he’s feeling, but what he can’t do anymore.”
“I thought he’d gotten over that. I never…,” began Wilson.
Chase interrupted him, “He lied to himself about it. Pretended that he was over it. To say it in his words, ‘it’s easy to pretend nothing is wrong, that everything is alright’.”
“I guess it is,” agreed Wilson sadly. “Will he be alright again?”
“I think so. We’re learning to rely on each other, not to keep everything inside. You don’t know how good it can feel to scream at him and let everything out! And House gets some relief from all his tension when he rages about how unfair everything is. Maybe a bit too much even,” responded Chase seriously.
Wilson nodded relieved, “That’s good to hear. We always tried to give him his space, but maybe that was the wrong thing to do.”
“Anyway, whatever it is you're doing, keep it up, because it's working,” commented Wilson after a while.
Chase smiled at Wilson in relief, glad that the other man approved of his new relationship with House and Wilson returned it equally glad that House had found someone who was so obviously good for him.
The End