DCU Fic: Chafed (Bart/Kon/Tim)
Title: Chafed
Fandom: DCU (Teen Titans)
Pairing: Bart/Bart's Hand, Bart/Kon/(Tim)
Rating and Warnings: Rated R for sexytimes
Word Count: 1212
Summary: In which Impulse discovers sex and there is much rejoicing. Based on THIS
Bart Allen is fifteen years old. Give or take.
Give or take a lot. Give or take about twelve years.
But, effectively, Bart Allen is fifteen years old. And this is a problem.
For you see, dear reader, Bart Allen became fifteen years old very, very quickly (unlike all the other boys out there who had to take the long way around) and for all that his experience is suited to his teenager body, he still did not receive the full fifteen years of socialization and learning that a normal boy his (apparent) age should have.
Bart has never (until recently) spent time with anyone his own age, has never had those oh-so-important conversations about growing up that occur between pre-adolescent friends. He has never had that awkward but essential conversation with a parent or respected adult during which he could have maybe figured out what, exactly, his penis is for.
In fact, the only real information that Bart has relieved on the subject of his body (especially in relation to other peoples' bodies) came from his sort-of uncle Wally and went something like this:
"Bart."
"Hello Wally! What is it? You look awfully frowny today, did you know that that causes wrinkles? How old do you have to be to get wrinkles? I have a cookie."
"That's nice. Listen, you know that you need to use a condom during sex to prevent pregnancy and STDs right?"
"Sure!"
"Okay good. I'm going out, I'll see you next month."
And that was it.
While well intentioned, this conversation left Bart a little bit confused. First of all, he hadn't actually been listening and had been forced to replay the conversation in his head a few times before he actually knew what it was about.
Secondly, Bart had actually not known that you had to use a condom to prevent pregnancy and STDs. He didn't know what STDs were. Nor did he know what a condom was.
Nor did he, in fact, know that Wally had been talking about heterosexual sex. And so Bart, who was mostly interested in members of his own gender, labored under the impression that he could get a man pregnant for nearly a month.
That impression has only changed recently due to the fact that Bart has discovered the internet, and wikipedia, and (of course) sex was the first thing he looked up.
Which is why Bart is now in his current predicament.
Bart Allen is fifteen years old, give or take, and he has just discovered masturbation.
A little late to the party, yes, but Bart has always been a fast learner and he has been dedicated to this particular lesson for a good long while. Having diligently applied himself to the task of getting himself off (and learning all the various ways to do so) for the past day, Bart has noticed some serious problems in the execution of his new hobby.
Basically, Bart is too fast for his own dick.
At first he was doing fine, mostly because he came almost immediately upon deciding he was aroused, but after a few orgasms he calmed down enough to really take things in hand (as it were). Bart found that, when aroused, he couldn't slow himself down well enough and his hand (even with generous amounts of lube which Bart found in Wally's bathroom and ew) would start moving all on it's own, thus resulting in serious chafing.
Bart is no stranger to chafing. He's had to manage with futuristic fabrics and dry talcum powders for nearly as long as he's been alive. But he can't exactly deal with this chafing and he can't stop.
Bart needs help. And he isn't sure who to talk to about this problem. Another speedster might be a good idea, but the very thought of asking Wally or Jay about anything involving his penis makes him feel vaguely nauseous. Not to mention the fact that Bart seriously doubts that either Wally or Jay are much smarter than the internet, although he doesn't say that out loud because that would be rude and Bart has had 'rude' explained to him at length.
The internet, on a side note, contains almost no information of the relief of superspeed-induced chafing. Bart has checked. A lot.
And so, Bart turns to the most knowledgeable and understanding person he knows. But Tim's on assignment.
So he calls Kon.
Which is how Bart finds himself, on a Friday morning and long before the other Titans are due to arrive at the tower, in a room with Kon and about have his first sexual experience with another person.
It's a little awkward.
"Is that?"
"Yeah..."
"You... Can I?"
"What? Oh. That's nice. Except, um, ow."
"What?"
"Ow. Ow! Owowowow. Stop!"
Kon looks down at his hand, wrapped around Bart's cock, and then into his friend's eyes.
"Ow?"
Bart shuffles in embarrassment (as much as one can shuffle when their dick is being held captive).
"I uh... You know... I was, um... I chafed."
"You." Kon snorts a little giggle that Bart feels should be insulting but isn't, "You injured your dick?!"
"It'll get better in a minute." Bart reminds him.
"So not the point." Kon's actually laughing now and Bart is feeling a bit put out.
"So what?" He growls, "It'll get better. Not to mention the fact that I figured out how to vibrate my hand doing that. Do you know that many women can only reach orgasm through the sort of direct and intense stimulation of the clitoris that comes with vibration?"
"No, I didn't know that." Kon says before collapsing into laughter once more.
Bart considers running away and leaving Kon to his hilarity but Kon still has his hand wrapped around Bart's dick and Bart was planning on getting laid today. And it would be rude.
So instead he says "Fine!" And reaches his hand into Kon's pants to show him exactly what he's been talking about all this time.
"AHAHA-huh? Um..." Kon blinks, "Oh. Oh."
"Who's laughing now?"
"Still me. Fuck. How do you even--"
Bart grins. It's a feral grin. A Mean grin. Sexy.
"It's gets better," He says as he speeds up, letting a finger vibrates across the head of Kon's cock.
"Oh. My. God."
"Yeah! Now you see why I was chafed?"
"I see." Kon moans.
"Yeah!"
Two hours later, Tim returns to the tower to find his two best friends sitting on the floor in their underwear with ice-packs in their laps.
"What happened here?" He asks. He doesn't want to know.
"Chafing." Kon groans.
"It's okay." Bart tells him "I'll be better in a minute."
"I Won't!"
He doesn't want to know.
"I'll get you some more ice." Tim says blandly. "If you promise not to tell me."
"Sure thing dude!"
"No deal." Bart says, "We still haven't figured out my problem."
Tim and Bart lock eyes, neither one of the them blinking for long moments. It's a testament to Bart's desperation that he manages to win the staring contest.
"Tell me all about it." Tim says because he really has no other choice.
They do. And Tim solves it like the admirable detective he is. And Bart lives to wank another day.
Which he does. A lot.
Tim helps.
Ps: The superhero name "Impulse" always makes me think of a high-powered vibrator, NGL.
Fandom: DCU (Teen Titans)
Pairing: Bart/Bart's Hand, Bart/Kon/(Tim)
Rating and Warnings: Rated R for sexytimes
Word Count: 1212
Summary: In which Impulse discovers sex and there is much rejoicing. Based on THIS
Bart Allen is fifteen years old. Give or take.
Give or take a lot. Give or take about twelve years.
But, effectively, Bart Allen is fifteen years old. And this is a problem.
For you see, dear reader, Bart Allen became fifteen years old very, very quickly (unlike all the other boys out there who had to take the long way around) and for all that his experience is suited to his teenager body, he still did not receive the full fifteen years of socialization and learning that a normal boy his (apparent) age should have.
Bart has never (until recently) spent time with anyone his own age, has never had those oh-so-important conversations about growing up that occur between pre-adolescent friends. He has never had that awkward but essential conversation with a parent or respected adult during which he could have maybe figured out what, exactly, his penis is for.
In fact, the only real information that Bart has relieved on the subject of his body (especially in relation to other peoples' bodies) came from his sort-of uncle Wally and went something like this:
"Bart."
"Hello Wally! What is it? You look awfully frowny today, did you know that that causes wrinkles? How old do you have to be to get wrinkles? I have a cookie."
"That's nice. Listen, you know that you need to use a condom during sex to prevent pregnancy and STDs right?"
"Sure!"
"Okay good. I'm going out, I'll see you next month."
And that was it.
While well intentioned, this conversation left Bart a little bit confused. First of all, he hadn't actually been listening and had been forced to replay the conversation in his head a few times before he actually knew what it was about.
Secondly, Bart had actually not known that you had to use a condom to prevent pregnancy and STDs. He didn't know what STDs were. Nor did he know what a condom was.
Nor did he, in fact, know that Wally had been talking about heterosexual sex. And so Bart, who was mostly interested in members of his own gender, labored under the impression that he could get a man pregnant for nearly a month.
That impression has only changed recently due to the fact that Bart has discovered the internet, and wikipedia, and (of course) sex was the first thing he looked up.
Which is why Bart is now in his current predicament.
Bart Allen is fifteen years old, give or take, and he has just discovered masturbation.
A little late to the party, yes, but Bart has always been a fast learner and he has been dedicated to this particular lesson for a good long while. Having diligently applied himself to the task of getting himself off (and learning all the various ways to do so) for the past day, Bart has noticed some serious problems in the execution of his new hobby.
Basically, Bart is too fast for his own dick.
At first he was doing fine, mostly because he came almost immediately upon deciding he was aroused, but after a few orgasms he calmed down enough to really take things in hand (as it were). Bart found that, when aroused, he couldn't slow himself down well enough and his hand (even with generous amounts of lube which Bart found in Wally's bathroom and ew) would start moving all on it's own, thus resulting in serious chafing.
Bart is no stranger to chafing. He's had to manage with futuristic fabrics and dry talcum powders for nearly as long as he's been alive. But he can't exactly deal with this chafing and he can't stop.
Bart needs help. And he isn't sure who to talk to about this problem. Another speedster might be a good idea, but the very thought of asking Wally or Jay about anything involving his penis makes him feel vaguely nauseous. Not to mention the fact that Bart seriously doubts that either Wally or Jay are much smarter than the internet, although he doesn't say that out loud because that would be rude and Bart has had 'rude' explained to him at length.
The internet, on a side note, contains almost no information of the relief of superspeed-induced chafing. Bart has checked. A lot.
And so, Bart turns to the most knowledgeable and understanding person he knows. But Tim's on assignment.
So he calls Kon.
Which is how Bart finds himself, on a Friday morning and long before the other Titans are due to arrive at the tower, in a room with Kon and about have his first sexual experience with another person.
It's a little awkward.
"Is that?"
"Yeah..."
"You... Can I?"
"What? Oh. That's nice. Except, um, ow."
"What?"
"Ow. Ow! Owowowow. Stop!"
Kon looks down at his hand, wrapped around Bart's cock, and then into his friend's eyes.
"Ow?"
Bart shuffles in embarrassment (as much as one can shuffle when their dick is being held captive).
"I uh... You know... I was, um... I chafed."
"You." Kon snorts a little giggle that Bart feels should be insulting but isn't, "You injured your dick?!"
"It'll get better in a minute." Bart reminds him.
"So not the point." Kon's actually laughing now and Bart is feeling a bit put out.
"So what?" He growls, "It'll get better. Not to mention the fact that I figured out how to vibrate my hand doing that. Do you know that many women can only reach orgasm through the sort of direct and intense stimulation of the clitoris that comes with vibration?"
"No, I didn't know that." Kon says before collapsing into laughter once more.
Bart considers running away and leaving Kon to his hilarity but Kon still has his hand wrapped around Bart's dick and Bart was planning on getting laid today. And it would be rude.
So instead he says "Fine!" And reaches his hand into Kon's pants to show him exactly what he's been talking about all this time.
"AHAHA-huh? Um..." Kon blinks, "Oh. Oh."
"Who's laughing now?"
"Still me. Fuck. How do you even--"
Bart grins. It's a feral grin. A Mean grin. Sexy.
"It's gets better," He says as he speeds up, letting a finger vibrates across the head of Kon's cock.
"Oh. My. God."
"Yeah! Now you see why I was chafed?"
"I see." Kon moans.
"Yeah!"
Two hours later, Tim returns to the tower to find his two best friends sitting on the floor in their underwear with ice-packs in their laps.
"What happened here?" He asks. He doesn't want to know.
"Chafing." Kon groans.
"It's okay." Bart tells him "I'll be better in a minute."
"I Won't!"
He doesn't want to know.
"I'll get you some more ice." Tim says blandly. "If you promise not to tell me."
"Sure thing dude!"
"No deal." Bart says, "We still haven't figured out my problem."
Tim and Bart lock eyes, neither one of the them blinking for long moments. It's a testament to Bart's desperation that he manages to win the staring contest.
"Tell me all about it." Tim says because he really has no other choice.
They do. And Tim solves it like the admirable detective he is. And Bart lives to wank another day.
Which he does. A lot.
Tim helps.
Ps: The superhero name "Impulse" always makes me think of a high-powered vibrator, NGL.