Penner Legacy 3:1
LAST TIME: Milo was declared heir, and immediately put the moves on Darlene Bunch Scarlett Johansson. THEIR LOVE WAS SO GLITCHY, but it worked out in the end, with Scarlett going into cross-eyed labor to birth generation three.
Scarlett: Honey? Aren't you coming home with us?
Milo: Pshaw. I would not deign to ride in a lowly taxi. Milo Penner rides in style, bitch.
So it's a girl, and her name is Courtney. She rolled the insane and easily impressed traits. My first thought was: I am going to like her.
Right around this time, I got Ambitions and Generations, and decided to move the legacy to Twinbrook. This is their new house. I so totally did not use any money cheats why do you ask?
And this is our new and very appropriately named maid. She be pimpin'.
Boy, I sure wish my clothes came out of the dryer neatly folded and ready to put away.
Scarlett: To the supermarket!
KITT: Right away, ma'am!
She wasn't going shopping; she works at the supermarket. I like how Sims can now have blue collar jobs, because let's face it: not everyone in the real world is going to end up a brain surgeon or astronaut or rock god.
Alex's job, however, is anything but blue collar. Apparently, part of being a super spy requires running down train tracks in an evening gown at dusk. And you know what? I totally buy it.
Courtney: Look, look! I'm growing up!
Scarlett: Eh. Not worth the effort it'll take to turn around.
She has the derp.
She is the happiest freaking child ever, I swear. A nice change after putting up with Marin's histrionics.
Turns out Voldemort's originally from Twinbrook. Who knew?
Milo and Scarlett only get it on in the shower nowadays, since it's so quick and easy - no ridiculous requirement to flirt and hold hands for three hours first. (Really, EAxis? REALLY?)
I don't even want to know why he rolled this wish mid-coitus.
I found Hank at the park one afternoon, battling a seven-year-old in a heated game of chess. He lost.
Four adults in the house and Courtney's still starving to death half the time.
Neither Courtney nor Alex have yet to master the art of playing with another child, instead of beside another child.
She tried to escape one night while everyone else was asleep.
But she was foiled by the stairs. It made me wonder, though: how far can toddlers go by themselves in the open neighborhood? It would've been really funny to find her across town at the laundromat the next morning.
Milo: You don't look well this morning. Was it something you ate?
Scarlett: No. It's your face.
Oh, she kids. Throwing up obviously equals wombspawn.
Also, why the hell am I paying that maid $125 a day when she leaves the toilet in that state! It's not from the vomiting - it was like that for at least two days by the time Scarlett got to it.
This pile of wet laundry was also sitting outside for two or three days before I remembered to have Milo bring it in. Why did the maid even bring it out there in the first place? THE DRYER IS RIGHT BESIDE THE WASHING MACHINE!
Hank... has issues.
Milo's life is rather boring, to tell you the truth. He spends most of his days locked away in his tiny cubicle of an office, writing. He's only getting about $33 in royalties a week right now. We've got a long, hard road to $4000 a week.
Courtney's birthday!
Her eyes will stare into your soul.
YOUR SOUL.
She went right to bed in her new room... wearing her formal wear.
In the morning, though, she was in her swimsuit. Crafty little thing.
First thing she did that morning? Booby-trap the kitchen sink.
She also likes to strangle herself from time to time. I don't know.
So, this is her everyday outfit. I figured an insane Sim needed insane attire. I just wish I had mittens or bunny ears... they'd really make the whole ensemble.
Please tell me somebody gets this.
Anne T. Septik: Goddamn, this place is a dump. WELL IT LOOKS LIKE I'M DONE FOR THE DAY, WHERE'S MY MONEY!
Courtney: YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!
They're called breasts. Take a picture, it'll last longer.
Scarlett: MY WATER JUST BROKE!
Courtney: Yeah, all over my tea party. Thanks.
Courtney: WAIT OMG THIS MEANS MY NEW BROTHER OR SISTER IS COMING ISN'T IT? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGGGGG
Courtney: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Bear: Fucking crazy, this one is.
Another girl, Paige. I forget what traits she rolled and didn't get a screenshot of them. Oops!
When I got back home, I found Courtney sitting on the toilet. Just sitting. Not actually going to the bathroom or anything. Nope. Just sitting.
And then she booby-trapped the sink again.
BUT THIS TIME SHE GOT CAUGHT HAH!
Milo: What do you think you're doing, young lady! I won't tolerate this behaviour in my house!
Courtney: But... but... the voices told me to do it.
Courtney: Yeah, so then he grounded me. Can you believe it? I was just having a bit of fun! Is that so wrong?
Courtney: I'm so glad you're my friend, Mr. Ladder. You're such a good conversationalist.
It's no surprise that Alex and Courtney get along famously.
Alex doesn't much get along with anyone else, however.
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE CROSS-EYES! EAxis, why must you always be so full of fail?
Paige is pretty cute when she's smiling. Otherwise, she's rather boring.
Not Courtney, who is the national Couch Joy Riding Champion of 2011.
Um. I'm not an expert or anything, but I don't think that's the best place to park a bus.
Just wanted to point out that Courtney's going to school without any shoes on.
Scarlett: Can Paige say stars?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say flowers?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say computer?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say smile?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say nuclear holocaust?
Paige: NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST YAY!
This is the new maid. He creeps me out something fierce.
Courtney: Omg, Grandma, I have to tell you a secret. YOU'RE OLD!
Alex: HAHAHAHAHAHA I TOTALLY AM!
Paige: Hey, guys? Guys? Can you let me out? Please? Courtney? Grandma? Mom? Dad? ANYONE?
Oh look, a clusterfuck of Sims all trying to use the staircase at once and not knowing what to do. I'm so glad this amazing feature from S2 was included in S3.
Courtney rarely wears her everyday outfit, except to bed.
Scarlett: Mommy's going to have another baby! Isn't that wonderful?
Paige: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT? LET ME OUT OF HERE FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'VE BEEN IN THIS DAMNED THING SINCE YESTERDAY!
Hank: Hey... why am I all glowy?
Trackpants Townie: Who is this guy? Anyone know him?
Camo Townie: Nope, never seen him before in my life. BUT LET'S WATCH HIM DIE!
Death: YOU. COME WITH ME.
Hank: No... I don't think I will, thanks.
Death: YOU... WAIT, WHAT? OKAY, WHAT IF I SAID PRETTY PLEASE?
Poor Alex. Back at home, she was taking Hank's death pretty hard.
But, she didn't have very long to mourn.
Death: ALEX PENNER, I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR SOUL TO THE UNDERWORLD!
Alex: What? I can't hear you, there's a wall in the way.
Death: DAMMIT. LOOK, IT'S MY FIRST DAY. CUT ME SOME SLACK.
Worst time for a child to come home from school: this is it.
Courtney: Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy! Where's Grandma and Grandpa?
Scarlett: Um... sorry, have to pee.
Milo: And I, uh... I have to check on Paige. Yeah.
Death: *FACEPALM*
Death: OH NO, SHE'S CRYING. SHOULD I DO SOMETHING? HUG HER? PAT HER ON THE BACK? OH GOD, I AM SO NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.
Courtney: Hi there! Do you know where my Grandma and Grandpa are?
Death: WHAT? OH, I, UH... I... YOU SHOULD, UM... ASK YOUR... SORRY GOTTA GO!
Courtney: He was nice. Kind of skinny, though.
NEXT TIME:
I don't know, I haven't played that far yet.
Scarlett: Honey? Aren't you coming home with us?
Milo: Pshaw. I would not deign to ride in a lowly taxi. Milo Penner rides in style, bitch.
So it's a girl, and her name is Courtney. She rolled the insane and easily impressed traits. My first thought was: I am going to like her.
Right around this time, I got Ambitions and Generations, and decided to move the legacy to Twinbrook. This is their new house. I so totally did not use any money cheats why do you ask?
And this is our new and very appropriately named maid. She be pimpin'.
Boy, I sure wish my clothes came out of the dryer neatly folded and ready to put away.
Scarlett: To the supermarket!
KITT: Right away, ma'am!
She wasn't going shopping; she works at the supermarket. I like how Sims can now have blue collar jobs, because let's face it: not everyone in the real world is going to end up a brain surgeon or astronaut or rock god.
Alex's job, however, is anything but blue collar. Apparently, part of being a super spy requires running down train tracks in an evening gown at dusk. And you know what? I totally buy it.
Courtney: Look, look! I'm growing up!
Scarlett: Eh. Not worth the effort it'll take to turn around.
She has the derp.
She is the happiest freaking child ever, I swear. A nice change after putting up with Marin's histrionics.
Turns out Voldemort's originally from Twinbrook. Who knew?
Milo and Scarlett only get it on in the shower nowadays, since it's so quick and easy - no ridiculous requirement to flirt and hold hands for three hours first. (Really, EAxis? REALLY?)
I don't even want to know why he rolled this wish mid-coitus.
I found Hank at the park one afternoon, battling a seven-year-old in a heated game of chess. He lost.
Four adults in the house and Courtney's still starving to death half the time.
Neither Courtney nor Alex have yet to master the art of playing with another child, instead of beside another child.
She tried to escape one night while everyone else was asleep.
But she was foiled by the stairs. It made me wonder, though: how far can toddlers go by themselves in the open neighborhood? It would've been really funny to find her across town at the laundromat the next morning.
Milo: You don't look well this morning. Was it something you ate?
Scarlett: No. It's your face.
Oh, she kids. Throwing up obviously equals wombspawn.
Also, why the hell am I paying that maid $125 a day when she leaves the toilet in that state! It's not from the vomiting - it was like that for at least two days by the time Scarlett got to it.
This pile of wet laundry was also sitting outside for two or three days before I remembered to have Milo bring it in. Why did the maid even bring it out there in the first place? THE DRYER IS RIGHT BESIDE THE WASHING MACHINE!
Hank... has issues.
Milo's life is rather boring, to tell you the truth. He spends most of his days locked away in his tiny cubicle of an office, writing. He's only getting about $33 in royalties a week right now. We've got a long, hard road to $4000 a week.
Courtney's birthday!
Her eyes will stare into your soul.
YOUR SOUL.
She went right to bed in her new room... wearing her formal wear.
In the morning, though, she was in her swimsuit. Crafty little thing.
First thing she did that morning? Booby-trap the kitchen sink.
She also likes to strangle herself from time to time. I don't know.
So, this is her everyday outfit. I figured an insane Sim needed insane attire. I just wish I had mittens or bunny ears... they'd really make the whole ensemble.
Please tell me somebody gets this.
Anne T. Septik: Goddamn, this place is a dump. WELL IT LOOKS LIKE I'M DONE FOR THE DAY, WHERE'S MY MONEY!
Courtney: YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS!
They're called breasts. Take a picture, it'll last longer.
Scarlett: MY WATER JUST BROKE!
Courtney: Yeah, all over my tea party. Thanks.
Courtney: WAIT OMG THIS MEANS MY NEW BROTHER OR SISTER IS COMING ISN'T IT? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGGGGGGGGG
Courtney: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Bear: Fucking crazy, this one is.
Another girl, Paige. I forget what traits she rolled and didn't get a screenshot of them. Oops!
When I got back home, I found Courtney sitting on the toilet. Just sitting. Not actually going to the bathroom or anything. Nope. Just sitting.
And then she booby-trapped the sink again.
BUT THIS TIME SHE GOT CAUGHT HAH!
Milo: What do you think you're doing, young lady! I won't tolerate this behaviour in my house!
Courtney: But... but... the voices told me to do it.
Courtney: Yeah, so then he grounded me. Can you believe it? I was just having a bit of fun! Is that so wrong?
Courtney: I'm so glad you're my friend, Mr. Ladder. You're such a good conversationalist.
It's no surprise that Alex and Courtney get along famously.
Alex doesn't much get along with anyone else, however.
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE CROSS-EYES! EAxis, why must you always be so full of fail?
Paige is pretty cute when she's smiling. Otherwise, she's rather boring.
Not Courtney, who is the national Couch Joy Riding Champion of 2011.
Um. I'm not an expert or anything, but I don't think that's the best place to park a bus.
Just wanted to point out that Courtney's going to school without any shoes on.
Scarlett: Can Paige say stars?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say flowers?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say computer?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say smile?
Paige: No.
Scarlett: Can Paige say nuclear holocaust?
Paige: NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST YAY!
This is the new maid. He creeps me out something fierce.
Courtney: Omg, Grandma, I have to tell you a secret. YOU'RE OLD!
Alex: HAHAHAHAHAHA I TOTALLY AM!
Paige: Hey, guys? Guys? Can you let me out? Please? Courtney? Grandma? Mom? Dad? ANYONE?
Oh look, a clusterfuck of Sims all trying to use the staircase at once and not knowing what to do. I'm so glad this amazing feature from S2 was included in S3.
Courtney rarely wears her everyday outfit, except to bed.
Scarlett: Mommy's going to have another baby! Isn't that wonderful?
Paige: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SHIT? LET ME OUT OF HERE FOR GOD'S SAKE! I'VE BEEN IN THIS DAMNED THING SINCE YESTERDAY!
Hank: Hey... why am I all glowy?
Trackpants Townie: Who is this guy? Anyone know him?
Camo Townie: Nope, never seen him before in my life. BUT LET'S WATCH HIM DIE!
Death: YOU. COME WITH ME.
Hank: No... I don't think I will, thanks.
Death: YOU... WAIT, WHAT? OKAY, WHAT IF I SAID PRETTY PLEASE?
Poor Alex. Back at home, she was taking Hank's death pretty hard.
But, she didn't have very long to mourn.
Death: ALEX PENNER, I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR SOUL TO THE UNDERWORLD!
Alex: What? I can't hear you, there's a wall in the way.
Death: DAMMIT. LOOK, IT'S MY FIRST DAY. CUT ME SOME SLACK.
Worst time for a child to come home from school: this is it.
Courtney: Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy! Where's Grandma and Grandpa?
Scarlett: Um... sorry, have to pee.
Milo: And I, uh... I have to check on Paige. Yeah.
Death: *FACEPALM*
Death: OH NO, SHE'S CRYING. SHOULD I DO SOMETHING? HUG HER? PAT HER ON THE BACK? OH GOD, I AM SO NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.
Courtney: Hi there! Do you know where my Grandma and Grandpa are?
Death: WHAT? OH, I, UH... I... YOU SHOULD, UM... ASK YOUR... SORRY GOTTA GO!
Courtney: He was nice. Kind of skinny, though.
NEXT TIME:
I don't know, I haven't played that far yet.