Why it Must be Me? - Chapter 16
Title: The Maknae's Dilemma Series: Story 1 - Cho Kyuhyun of Super Junior (Why it Must be Me?)
Author: imaginarybulb
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/?, Eunhyuk/Kibum/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Kangin/Leeteuk, Hankyung/Heechul, parings may come and go
Summary: It had always been the three of them. Everyone knew that, so does Kyuhyun. Especially Kyuhyun. But still, Kyuhyun succumbed into their world.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes slowly, it was painful to do so since he had been crying almost all night and he’s sure his eyes were puffy like hell right now. However, as soon as his vision cleared, Kyuhyun was startled when his eyes met with a toned chest hidden underneath a white shirt. When his mind began to clear up, he finally noticed the strong arms around his body and the calm and soft snores coming from the unknown male in front of him.
Kyuhyun blinked as he looked up to see the male’s face.
It’s Siwon.
Kyuhyun blinked again, Siwon hyung? How did he-
Oh.
Oh, Kyuhyun silently thought. He bit his lips and cursed himself mentally for being such a pain in the ass for his hyung. And to think that he cried in front of his hyung…
Oh my God, that was so embarrassing!
Kyuhyun instinctively covered his face in shame and groaned silently, not realizing his little movement had stirred Siwon from his sleep.
“…Kyuhyun?” Kyuhyun removed his hands from his face and looked up when Siwon called his name. The blush on his face reddened even more when Siwon smiled charmingly at him. No, he didn’t love Siwon like the certain trio, but he had always admire Siwon’s handsome features that made the actor looked like some sort of a prince.
“You’re up?” Siwon asked and pushed himself up, followed by Kyuhyun. The maknae nodded and smiled before he noticed Siwon’s hair stuck up haphazardly and there’s a dry drool at the corner of his lips.
Pabo prince? Kyuhyun mused as he chuckled softly. Siwon had always shown a charming personality in front of other people and to see the older male looked so…normal (which is rare because Siwon always fixes his hair and washes his face before exiting his room to have breakfast with the members).
“What’s wrong?” Siwon asked, his Shibrows arched and his head tilted to the side in confusion.
“Nothing,” Kyuhyun shook his head slightly before pointing, “You drool when you sleep and your hair…is weird.”
Hearing that, Siwon quickly wiped his face and fixed his hair, making Kyuhyun laughed even more.
“It’s okay, hyung. You still look handsome like that,” the maknae said and Siwon stopped as he cleared his throat awkwardly.
It was silence between them, a bit awkward but still acceptable and Siwon was battling to ask Kyuhyun if the maknae was okay or not. Also, he wanted to know what had happened between Kyuhyun and Sungmin.
“Kyu--”
“I’m fine, hyung,” Kyuhyun answered smoothly, calmly, as he cuts Siwon off. The older male was baffled for a moment before he nodded, “Umm… Then….”
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Kyuhyun sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Oh, Siwon’s face fell but the older male didn’t want to give up just yet, “But, I have to know.”
Kyuhyun frowned a bit, “Why?”
Siwon took a deep breath, “Because I’m your hyung. And it’s my responsibility to take care of my dongsaengs and especially you, who is my maknae, our maknae.”
“I understand if you’re having a small fight with Sungmin,” Siwon continued when Kyuhyun wanted to said something, “But I can’t let that small fight break your friendship because I know how much you love Sungmin and how much Sungmin loves you.”
Kyuhyun bit his lips upon hearing that sentence, his eyes lowered, “And I know you two didn’t want to fight, right?”
The maknae nodded softly and Siwon smiled, “Then, if you tell me what’s wrong, I promise, I’ll help you.”
“It’s complicated…” Kyuhyun said softly after a long silence.
“Besides, I can’t tell you everything, hyung. This matter involves Sungmin hyung and I…”
“I understand,” Siwon coaxed as he rubbed the sniffing maknae’s back.
“But the point is, I did something that had hurt Sungmin hyung… And… And I wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’, but I’m afraid….” Kyuhyun sobbed and Siwon pulled him to his chest.
“I just want everything to be normal… But it’s too late to turn back.”
--
Kibum hummed to a song as he wiggled his feet, his body swayed left to right, mismatched with the beat of the song he was listening and humming to. The actor was waiting for someone, but that someone hasn’t showed up yet.
Kibum’s head snapped towards the door when he heard the door was clicked open and he smiled when he saw the person he was waiting for entered the room.
“Kyuhyun-ah!!” Kibum shouted as he removed his headphone and ran towards the maknae whose eyes widen at the call his name.
“Kib--” Kyuhyun was cut off when Kibum hugged him tightly, nearly suffocating him.
“Oh, I missed you, maknae-ah! I missed you so much! I haven’t seen you even once yesterday because Siwon hyung said you’re sick! Are you okay?” Kibum said as he cupped Kyuhyun’s face.
Kyuhyun coughed as he found it’s a bit hard to breath and he nodded while coughing. What’s happening? He turned his head to the male behind him, Siwon, who’s shrugging in innocence.
“You were in your room the whole day yesterday, Kyuhyun-ah. Heechul hyung said it’s because of his ‘powerful kiss’,” Kyuhyun noticed the falter in Kibum’s cheery voice at the last sentence but it was gone in a blink of an eyes so Kyuhyun shrugged it off. He forced out a smile towards the older one, feeling happy that Kibum do care about him but still hurt to think that Kibum was one of the reason why his life was so messed up.
If only I didn’t fall in love with you… Kyuhyun thought bitterly as he listened to Kibum saying how Leeteuk had freaked out hearing that he was sick, and the leader had told poor Ryeowook who just came back from a tiring schedule to go out and find medicine for him and how the eternal maknae had dragged Shindong and Yesung along and how they came back with a full plastic bag full of medicine, panting because a group of fangirls noticed them and how Leeteuk still freaking out when Siwon didn’t let him come in to check on his dear Kyuhyunnie.
He laughed when he needed to and nodded when he needed to and saying ‘Really?’ when he needed to. Kibum was holding his hand and Kyuhyun tried so hard to fight off the blush that was creeping to his cheeks and turning down the volume of his fast beating heart.
--
Zhoumi laughed when Kyuhyun jumped on his back, forcing him to back-pigging the maknae of Super Junior. They were in the practice room, all 15 of them, to teach Zhoumi and Henry some dancing skills. They were surprised to see Zhoumi’s dancing skills despite his outer appearance and even joked that he was better than Kyuhyun. Hearing that, Kyuhyun quickly jumped on the Chinese male back as his sign of protest but the older male was strong, so he managed to lift Kyuhyun up. They back-pigging for a while before Zhoumi decided to tease the younger one.
“Oh, I’m about to fall!” he pretended to swayed to the side, as if he was about to fall.
“Wh- Let me down, gege!!” Kyuhyun shrieked and he clawed on Zhoumi’s shoulder, both of them screaming (Zhoumi’s is fake, of course) and in a second, both of them was on the floor.
Zhoumi laughed as he fell on the floor while Kyuhyun on top of him, hitting his chest, “Yah! You’re such a jerk!”
“I’m sorry, Kuixian,” Zhoumi said after a laugh, “But that’s so funny! You should hear how you shriek like a girl earlier!”
Kyuhyun blushed in embarrassment, “I did not shriek like a girl!”
“Yeah you did, maknae-ah,” Heechul added, “You even made weird face when you’re about to fall,” the diva continued, making weird faces as if to imitate Kyuhyun.
“Haha, funny, hyung,” Kyuhyun said sarcastically before he shot back, “That face suits you more, Heechul hyung.” And he smiled in victory as Heechul glared at him. Pushing himself up so that he was sitting on top of Zhoumi, he glared at the Chinese male, “And you, if you pull that stunt again, I’ll kill you.”
Zhoumi laughed in reply as Kyuhyun stood up and stomped with a huff because the maknae looked so cute even he’s angry.
And also because he wanted to calm his heart for beating so fast upon seeing Kyuhyun looked so beautiful up close.
--
Donghae pouted as he watched the Qmi little ‘act’ in the practice room. Zhoumi was still laughing when Kyuhyun walked towards Leeteuk. The older male was biting his lips to prevent himself from laughing as he handed Kyuhyun a bottle of mineral water upon seeing the maknae baby-glared him.
Donghae turned to his side and he inwardly snickered to see Eunhyuk was pouting too.
“What?” oh, looks like he had snickered outwardly when Eunhyuk looked at him in confusion.
“You’re pouting,” the younger dancer said, chuckling when Eunhyuk’s face reddened, “I did not!” He loudly whispered and hit Donghae’s arm lightly.
“Yeah, you did. Like this,” Donghae pouted as he imitated Eunhyuk and the rapper was baffled, “I did not!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Hyukkie,” Donghae smirked as he turned his attention towards Kibum who’s now with Kyuhyun saying something animatedly with the maknae smiling softly at him.
“Hey,” the fishy nudged the monkey who’s pouting and crossing his arms.
“What?” he hissed through gritted teeth.
“What if Kibum likes Kyuhyun too?” Donghae whispered to him and Eunhyuk’s eyes darted on the two maknaes. Kibum was laughing along with Kyuhyun at something Kibum had said and Leeteuk, who had been listening the whole time laughed softly along with the two younger males.
Eunhyuk sighed as he leaned back, whispering, “Like is not enough to share, Donghae. You need love, like real love, to be able to share the person you love with someone else.”
Donghae pouted as he kept his eyes on the two, those two really looked good together though. He then scanned around the room and his eyes landed on Sungmin, who’s eyes fixated on Kyuhyun and Kibum.
Usually, he would saw something soft and filled with love in Sungmin’s eyes whenever he’s watching Kyuhyun, but now, Donghae was taken aback when he saw hurt, pain and anger in Sungmin’s dark, dark eyes.
--
Sungmin was pissed yet again, seeing Kyuhyun and Zhoumi so close together.
His mind was in a messed up state whenever he thinks about how nice it would be if he could be back to normal with Kyuhyun again, but he knew it won’t be that easy.
They weren’t having some normal fight. This is not the fight that he can just say, ‘I’m sorry, Kyuhyun-ah. It’s my fault, let’s get back together, okay?’ and expect everything to be normal again.
Because it won’t.
No matter how much he lied to himself, but he can’t run away from the fact that it was his fault they ended up like this. He even couldn’t find himself to say ‘I’m sorry’ properly to Kyuhyun. The day he got to be in the same room with Kyuhyun, the opportunity to make everything better, he messed it up because of his jealousy.
Jealousy, jealousy.
What an ugly feeling.
He shut his eyes as he felt the same jealousy crept into him upon seeing Kibum and Kyuhyun laughing together. But, Kyuhyun’s laugh was velvety as it floated into Sungmin’s ears, his brain absorbing every single bit of the maknae’s laughter and kept it in his memory. Sungmin was forced to open his eyes and they were darted on Eunhyuk and Donghae who were watching Kyuhyun and Kibum. Their faces were soft and serene as they whispered something to each other, eyes never leaving the two.
Sungmin shifted his gaze to Kyuhyun again.
And he didn’t push away the feeling of jealousy this time.
--
Kyuhyun hissed in pain as he was thrown to the wall, his back was aching from the dancing and being thrown to the wall harshly like this only made it worst.
It was happening too fast for Kyuhyun to process anything. The members were already home after a long day of practicing dancing and stuff, and Kyuhyun, who had forgotten that he had left his favorite beanie in the practice room, went back after telling his hyung to wait for a moment, not noticing a certain male had followed him into the practice room.
After he found his beanie, Kyuhyun was about to turn when someone grabbed his collar and thrown him against the mirrored wall of the practice room, making him hissed in pain.
Kyuhyun cracked his eyes opened and his doe-eyes widen at the sight of Sungmin.
“Sungmin hyung? What--”
He was cut off when Sungmin suddenly grabbed his collar and kissed him harshly on the lips. Mind scrambled to process what the heck just happened; Kyuhyun pressed his lips in tight line on reflex. Sungmin, not liking the lack of response, growled possessively and slipped his hand into Kyuhyun’s pants and kneaded the maknae’s plump ass, making the younger male shivered and gasp in surprise. Sungmin took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into Kyuhyun’s wet cavern, humming in delight at being able to taste Kyuhyun again.
Mmm… Delicious.
Kyuhyun gripped the front of Sungmin’s shirt as he tried to resist him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to stop himself from thinking how good Sungmin’s tongue felt in his mouth, licking every single part of his mouth like he haven’t taste it for a long time.
But Kyuhyun didn’t want this, it felt so, so wrong. So he bit Sungmin’s tongue and the older male winced in pain as he pulled away abruptly and Kyuhyun panted as he tried to get as much of oxygen as he could.
Sungmin glared at Kyuhyun, but his glare softened upon seeing the tears in Kyuhyun’s eyes.
What the fuck have I done?
“Kyu--”
SLAP!
Sungmin froze. His eyes were side and his heart was hurting, despite the fact that it was his cheek that stung from the slap Kyuhyun gave him. He turned his head slowly towards Kyuhyun and the maknae was crying. Hair tousled in a messy way, lips swollen, breaths came out heavy.
“You…. How dare you--” Kyuhyun said between gritted teeth. His body was trembling from the tears and anger.
“WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!? JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Kyuhyun shouted, his voice boomed and bounced off the practice room, ringing painfully into Sungmin’s ears.
“Kyuhyun…” Sungmin started, voice soft as he pleaded, eyes watering.
“No!” Kyuhyun jerked away from his touch and Sungmin cried along. “I… I…”
No, please no. Please don’t say that word.
“I fucking hate you, hyung!”
The words hit him, hard. And Sungmin didn’t know how a simple word, hate, could stab his heart like millions of sharp knives. He was too dumbfounded that his mind went numb. He fell onto his knees as he felt his legs were too weak to hold him up. Kyuhyun was still crying and the maknae also looked surprised at what he had just said.
Why?
“….Oh God…H-Hyung…. I….” Kyuhyun stammered, covering his mouth, guilt danced around in his eyes. Sungmin could see the word ‘sorry’ was at the tip of his tongue.
Except that Kyuhyun never says it.
“I… I…” Kyuhyun continued to stammer and bit his trembling lips. The maknae stared at Sungmin with teary eyes for a second before he closed his eyes and exited the room, leaving Sungmin and his broken heart alone.
Oh, the irony.
--
It was raining outside and his hyungs had already left, but Kyuhyun didn’t care. He kept running under the rain, crying harder in every second and steps he took.
I’m sorry.
He closed his eyes tight as his body started to tremble, but his feet were still moving, not missing a beat.
I’m sorry.
He felt some sort of déjà vu right now. He remembered running away from the SME building while crying like this.
Except this time it’s raining heavily.
Except this time Sungmin’s not there to grab him and hug him and told him ‘it’s okay’.
“Shh… Kyuhyun, it’s okay. I’m here…”
Kyuhyun cried harder, I’m sorry, why couldn’t he say that? He didn’t mean to say that ‘h’ word, it just slipped out off his tongue.
He would never, never hate his Sungminnie hyung. Sungmin had done so much for him before. He had been there for him, he had helped him.
He had loved Kyuhyun.
“I’m here for you.”
I’m sorry, hyung, Kyuhyun sniffed, I’m sorry, I love you, but this has to stop.
If he had to make Sungmin hate him to finally let go of him, he would do that.
--
Kyuhyun stood in front of the door. The room inside was dark, probably the person in the room was already asleep.
Maybe I shouldn’t…No… I have to…
He wiped the tears that were still rolling down his cheeks. He bit his lips as he raised his trembling hand and knocked on the door softly. The members were all asleep by now and he didn’t want to wake them up.
It didn’t take that long for Siwon to open the door and when he did, the first sentence that escaped the actor’s lips was, “Kyuhyun?”
Kyuhyun stared at his wet feet, he was still soaked from the rain and he didn’t bother to change. As soon as he entered the dorm, he went straight to Siwon’s room.
He needed someone to hold him.
He couldn’t go to Leeteuk or his other hyungs because they didn’t know about his problem. He couldn’t go to Ryeowook because the eternal maknae was too soft to handle a broken Kyuhyun.
And he definitely couldn’t go to Sungmin anymore.
So he went to Siwon, because, well, Siwon is Siwon. Siwon is there for him, with opened arms.
“Kyu? Are you okay? Sungmin said he’ll be back with you, where is he? Why are you drenched? Oh God, you must be cold right now! Come, you have to cha--”
Siwon was abruptly cut off when he felt a pair of thin, soft lips met his own.
Author: imaginarybulb
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/?, Eunhyuk/Kibum/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Kangin/Leeteuk, Hankyung/Heechul, parings may come and go
Summary: It had always been the three of them. Everyone knew that, so does Kyuhyun. Especially Kyuhyun. But still, Kyuhyun succumbed into their world.
Kyuhyun opened his eyes slowly, it was painful to do so since he had been crying almost all night and he’s sure his eyes were puffy like hell right now. However, as soon as his vision cleared, Kyuhyun was startled when his eyes met with a toned chest hidden underneath a white shirt. When his mind began to clear up, he finally noticed the strong arms around his body and the calm and soft snores coming from the unknown male in front of him.
Kyuhyun blinked as he looked up to see the male’s face.
It’s Siwon.
Kyuhyun blinked again, Siwon hyung? How did he-
Oh.
Oh, Kyuhyun silently thought. He bit his lips and cursed himself mentally for being such a pain in the ass for his hyung. And to think that he cried in front of his hyung…
Oh my God, that was so embarrassing!
Kyuhyun instinctively covered his face in shame and groaned silently, not realizing his little movement had stirred Siwon from his sleep.
“…Kyuhyun?” Kyuhyun removed his hands from his face and looked up when Siwon called his name. The blush on his face reddened even more when Siwon smiled charmingly at him. No, he didn’t love Siwon like the certain trio, but he had always admire Siwon’s handsome features that made the actor looked like some sort of a prince.
“You’re up?” Siwon asked and pushed himself up, followed by Kyuhyun. The maknae nodded and smiled before he noticed Siwon’s hair stuck up haphazardly and there’s a dry drool at the corner of his lips.
Pabo prince? Kyuhyun mused as he chuckled softly. Siwon had always shown a charming personality in front of other people and to see the older male looked so…normal (which is rare because Siwon always fixes his hair and washes his face before exiting his room to have breakfast with the members).
“What’s wrong?” Siwon asked, his Shibrows arched and his head tilted to the side in confusion.
“Nothing,” Kyuhyun shook his head slightly before pointing, “You drool when you sleep and your hair…is weird.”
Hearing that, Siwon quickly wiped his face and fixed his hair, making Kyuhyun laughed even more.
“It’s okay, hyung. You still look handsome like that,” the maknae said and Siwon stopped as he cleared his throat awkwardly.
It was silence between them, a bit awkward but still acceptable and Siwon was battling to ask Kyuhyun if the maknae was okay or not. Also, he wanted to know what had happened between Kyuhyun and Sungmin.
“Kyu--”
“I’m fine, hyung,” Kyuhyun answered smoothly, calmly, as he cuts Siwon off. The older male was baffled for a moment before he nodded, “Umm… Then….”
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Kyuhyun sighed, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Oh, Siwon’s face fell but the older male didn’t want to give up just yet, “But, I have to know.”
Kyuhyun frowned a bit, “Why?”
Siwon took a deep breath, “Because I’m your hyung. And it’s my responsibility to take care of my dongsaengs and especially you, who is my maknae, our maknae.”
“I understand if you’re having a small fight with Sungmin,” Siwon continued when Kyuhyun wanted to said something, “But I can’t let that small fight break your friendship because I know how much you love Sungmin and how much Sungmin loves you.”
Kyuhyun bit his lips upon hearing that sentence, his eyes lowered, “And I know you two didn’t want to fight, right?”
The maknae nodded softly and Siwon smiled, “Then, if you tell me what’s wrong, I promise, I’ll help you.”
“It’s complicated…” Kyuhyun said softly after a long silence.
“Besides, I can’t tell you everything, hyung. This matter involves Sungmin hyung and I…”
“I understand,” Siwon coaxed as he rubbed the sniffing maknae’s back.
“But the point is, I did something that had hurt Sungmin hyung… And… And I wanted to say ‘I’m sorry’, but I’m afraid….” Kyuhyun sobbed and Siwon pulled him to his chest.
“I just want everything to be normal… But it’s too late to turn back.”
--
Kibum hummed to a song as he wiggled his feet, his body swayed left to right, mismatched with the beat of the song he was listening and humming to. The actor was waiting for someone, but that someone hasn’t showed up yet.
Kibum’s head snapped towards the door when he heard the door was clicked open and he smiled when he saw the person he was waiting for entered the room.
“Kyuhyun-ah!!” Kibum shouted as he removed his headphone and ran towards the maknae whose eyes widen at the call his name.
“Kib--” Kyuhyun was cut off when Kibum hugged him tightly, nearly suffocating him.
“Oh, I missed you, maknae-ah! I missed you so much! I haven’t seen you even once yesterday because Siwon hyung said you’re sick! Are you okay?” Kibum said as he cupped Kyuhyun’s face.
Kyuhyun coughed as he found it’s a bit hard to breath and he nodded while coughing. What’s happening? He turned his head to the male behind him, Siwon, who’s shrugging in innocence.
“You were in your room the whole day yesterday, Kyuhyun-ah. Heechul hyung said it’s because of his ‘powerful kiss’,” Kyuhyun noticed the falter in Kibum’s cheery voice at the last sentence but it was gone in a blink of an eyes so Kyuhyun shrugged it off. He forced out a smile towards the older one, feeling happy that Kibum do care about him but still hurt to think that Kibum was one of the reason why his life was so messed up.
If only I didn’t fall in love with you… Kyuhyun thought bitterly as he listened to Kibum saying how Leeteuk had freaked out hearing that he was sick, and the leader had told poor Ryeowook who just came back from a tiring schedule to go out and find medicine for him and how the eternal maknae had dragged Shindong and Yesung along and how they came back with a full plastic bag full of medicine, panting because a group of fangirls noticed them and how Leeteuk still freaking out when Siwon didn’t let him come in to check on his dear Kyuhyunnie.
He laughed when he needed to and nodded when he needed to and saying ‘Really?’ when he needed to. Kibum was holding his hand and Kyuhyun tried so hard to fight off the blush that was creeping to his cheeks and turning down the volume of his fast beating heart.
--
Zhoumi laughed when Kyuhyun jumped on his back, forcing him to back-pigging the maknae of Super Junior. They were in the practice room, all 15 of them, to teach Zhoumi and Henry some dancing skills. They were surprised to see Zhoumi’s dancing skills despite his outer appearance and even joked that he was better than Kyuhyun. Hearing that, Kyuhyun quickly jumped on the Chinese male back as his sign of protest but the older male was strong, so he managed to lift Kyuhyun up. They back-pigging for a while before Zhoumi decided to tease the younger one.
“Oh, I’m about to fall!” he pretended to swayed to the side, as if he was about to fall.
“Wh- Let me down, gege!!” Kyuhyun shrieked and he clawed on Zhoumi’s shoulder, both of them screaming (Zhoumi’s is fake, of course) and in a second, both of them was on the floor.
Zhoumi laughed as he fell on the floor while Kyuhyun on top of him, hitting his chest, “Yah! You’re such a jerk!”
“I’m sorry, Kuixian,” Zhoumi said after a laugh, “But that’s so funny! You should hear how you shriek like a girl earlier!”
Kyuhyun blushed in embarrassment, “I did not shriek like a girl!”
“Yeah you did, maknae-ah,” Heechul added, “You even made weird face when you’re about to fall,” the diva continued, making weird faces as if to imitate Kyuhyun.
“Haha, funny, hyung,” Kyuhyun said sarcastically before he shot back, “That face suits you more, Heechul hyung.” And he smiled in victory as Heechul glared at him. Pushing himself up so that he was sitting on top of Zhoumi, he glared at the Chinese male, “And you, if you pull that stunt again, I’ll kill you.”
Zhoumi laughed in reply as Kyuhyun stood up and stomped with a huff because the maknae looked so cute even he’s angry.
And also because he wanted to calm his heart for beating so fast upon seeing Kyuhyun looked so beautiful up close.
--
Donghae pouted as he watched the Qmi little ‘act’ in the practice room. Zhoumi was still laughing when Kyuhyun walked towards Leeteuk. The older male was biting his lips to prevent himself from laughing as he handed Kyuhyun a bottle of mineral water upon seeing the maknae baby-glared him.
Donghae turned to his side and he inwardly snickered to see Eunhyuk was pouting too.
“What?” oh, looks like he had snickered outwardly when Eunhyuk looked at him in confusion.
“You’re pouting,” the younger dancer said, chuckling when Eunhyuk’s face reddened, “I did not!” He loudly whispered and hit Donghae’s arm lightly.
“Yeah, you did. Like this,” Donghae pouted as he imitated Eunhyuk and the rapper was baffled, “I did not!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Hyukkie,” Donghae smirked as he turned his attention towards Kibum who’s now with Kyuhyun saying something animatedly with the maknae smiling softly at him.
“Hey,” the fishy nudged the monkey who’s pouting and crossing his arms.
“What?” he hissed through gritted teeth.
“What if Kibum likes Kyuhyun too?” Donghae whispered to him and Eunhyuk’s eyes darted on the two maknaes. Kibum was laughing along with Kyuhyun at something Kibum had said and Leeteuk, who had been listening the whole time laughed softly along with the two younger males.
Eunhyuk sighed as he leaned back, whispering, “Like is not enough to share, Donghae. You need love, like real love, to be able to share the person you love with someone else.”
Donghae pouted as he kept his eyes on the two, those two really looked good together though. He then scanned around the room and his eyes landed on Sungmin, who’s eyes fixated on Kyuhyun and Kibum.
Usually, he would saw something soft and filled with love in Sungmin’s eyes whenever he’s watching Kyuhyun, but now, Donghae was taken aback when he saw hurt, pain and anger in Sungmin’s dark, dark eyes.
--
Sungmin was pissed yet again, seeing Kyuhyun and Zhoumi so close together.
His mind was in a messed up state whenever he thinks about how nice it would be if he could be back to normal with Kyuhyun again, but he knew it won’t be that easy.
They weren’t having some normal fight. This is not the fight that he can just say, ‘I’m sorry, Kyuhyun-ah. It’s my fault, let’s get back together, okay?’ and expect everything to be normal again.
Because it won’t.
No matter how much he lied to himself, but he can’t run away from the fact that it was his fault they ended up like this. He even couldn’t find himself to say ‘I’m sorry’ properly to Kyuhyun. The day he got to be in the same room with Kyuhyun, the opportunity to make everything better, he messed it up because of his jealousy.
Jealousy, jealousy.
What an ugly feeling.
He shut his eyes as he felt the same jealousy crept into him upon seeing Kibum and Kyuhyun laughing together. But, Kyuhyun’s laugh was velvety as it floated into Sungmin’s ears, his brain absorbing every single bit of the maknae’s laughter and kept it in his memory. Sungmin was forced to open his eyes and they were darted on Eunhyuk and Donghae who were watching Kyuhyun and Kibum. Their faces were soft and serene as they whispered something to each other, eyes never leaving the two.
Sungmin shifted his gaze to Kyuhyun again.
And he didn’t push away the feeling of jealousy this time.
--
Kyuhyun hissed in pain as he was thrown to the wall, his back was aching from the dancing and being thrown to the wall harshly like this only made it worst.
It was happening too fast for Kyuhyun to process anything. The members were already home after a long day of practicing dancing and stuff, and Kyuhyun, who had forgotten that he had left his favorite beanie in the practice room, went back after telling his hyung to wait for a moment, not noticing a certain male had followed him into the practice room.
After he found his beanie, Kyuhyun was about to turn when someone grabbed his collar and thrown him against the mirrored wall of the practice room, making him hissed in pain.
Kyuhyun cracked his eyes opened and his doe-eyes widen at the sight of Sungmin.
“Sungmin hyung? What--”
He was cut off when Sungmin suddenly grabbed his collar and kissed him harshly on the lips. Mind scrambled to process what the heck just happened; Kyuhyun pressed his lips in tight line on reflex. Sungmin, not liking the lack of response, growled possessively and slipped his hand into Kyuhyun’s pants and kneaded the maknae’s plump ass, making the younger male shivered and gasp in surprise. Sungmin took the opportunity to thrust his tongue into Kyuhyun’s wet cavern, humming in delight at being able to taste Kyuhyun again.
Mmm… Delicious.
Kyuhyun gripped the front of Sungmin’s shirt as he tried to resist him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to stop himself from thinking how good Sungmin’s tongue felt in his mouth, licking every single part of his mouth like he haven’t taste it for a long time.
But Kyuhyun didn’t want this, it felt so, so wrong. So he bit Sungmin’s tongue and the older male winced in pain as he pulled away abruptly and Kyuhyun panted as he tried to get as much of oxygen as he could.
Sungmin glared at Kyuhyun, but his glare softened upon seeing the tears in Kyuhyun’s eyes.
What the fuck have I done?
“Kyu--”
SLAP!
Sungmin froze. His eyes were side and his heart was hurting, despite the fact that it was his cheek that stung from the slap Kyuhyun gave him. He turned his head slowly towards Kyuhyun and the maknae was crying. Hair tousled in a messy way, lips swollen, breaths came out heavy.
“You…. How dare you--” Kyuhyun said between gritted teeth. His body was trembling from the tears and anger.
“WHY DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!? JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!!” Kyuhyun shouted, his voice boomed and bounced off the practice room, ringing painfully into Sungmin’s ears.
“Kyuhyun…” Sungmin started, voice soft as he pleaded, eyes watering.
“No!” Kyuhyun jerked away from his touch and Sungmin cried along. “I… I…”
No, please no. Please don’t say that word.
“I fucking hate you, hyung!”
The words hit him, hard. And Sungmin didn’t know how a simple word, hate, could stab his heart like millions of sharp knives. He was too dumbfounded that his mind went numb. He fell onto his knees as he felt his legs were too weak to hold him up. Kyuhyun was still crying and the maknae also looked surprised at what he had just said.
Why?
“….Oh God…H-Hyung…. I….” Kyuhyun stammered, covering his mouth, guilt danced around in his eyes. Sungmin could see the word ‘sorry’ was at the tip of his tongue.
Except that Kyuhyun never says it.
“I… I…” Kyuhyun continued to stammer and bit his trembling lips. The maknae stared at Sungmin with teary eyes for a second before he closed his eyes and exited the room, leaving Sungmin and his broken heart alone.
Oh, the irony.
--
It was raining outside and his hyungs had already left, but Kyuhyun didn’t care. He kept running under the rain, crying harder in every second and steps he took.
I’m sorry.
He closed his eyes tight as his body started to tremble, but his feet were still moving, not missing a beat.
I’m sorry.
He felt some sort of déjà vu right now. He remembered running away from the SME building while crying like this.
Except this time it’s raining heavily.
Except this time Sungmin’s not there to grab him and hug him and told him ‘it’s okay’.
“Shh… Kyuhyun, it’s okay. I’m here…”
Kyuhyun cried harder, I’m sorry, why couldn’t he say that? He didn’t mean to say that ‘h’ word, it just slipped out off his tongue.
He would never, never hate his Sungminnie hyung. Sungmin had done so much for him before. He had been there for him, he had helped him.
He had loved Kyuhyun.
“I’m here for you.”
I’m sorry, hyung, Kyuhyun sniffed, I’m sorry, I love you, but this has to stop.
If he had to make Sungmin hate him to finally let go of him, he would do that.
--
Kyuhyun stood in front of the door. The room inside was dark, probably the person in the room was already asleep.
Maybe I shouldn’t…No… I have to…
He wiped the tears that were still rolling down his cheeks. He bit his lips as he raised his trembling hand and knocked on the door softly. The members were all asleep by now and he didn’t want to wake them up.
It didn’t take that long for Siwon to open the door and when he did, the first sentence that escaped the actor’s lips was, “Kyuhyun?”
Kyuhyun stared at his wet feet, he was still soaked from the rain and he didn’t bother to change. As soon as he entered the dorm, he went straight to Siwon’s room.
He needed someone to hold him.
He couldn’t go to Leeteuk or his other hyungs because they didn’t know about his problem. He couldn’t go to Ryeowook because the eternal maknae was too soft to handle a broken Kyuhyun.
And he definitely couldn’t go to Sungmin anymore.
So he went to Siwon, because, well, Siwon is Siwon. Siwon is there for him, with opened arms.
“Kyu? Are you okay? Sungmin said he’ll be back with you, where is he? Why are you drenched? Oh God, you must be cold right now! Come, you have to cha--”
Siwon was abruptly cut off when he felt a pair of thin, soft lips met his own.