Why it Must be Me? - Chapter 23
Title: The Maknae's Dilemma Series: Story 1 - Cho Kyuhyun of Super Junior (Why it Must be Me?)
Author: imaginarybulb
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/?, Eunhyuk/Kibum/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Kangin/Leeteuk, Hankyung/Heechul, parings may come and go
Summary: It had always been the three of them. Everyone knew that, so does Kyuhyun. Especially Kyuhyun. But still, Kyuhyun succumbed into their world.
It’s been 7 months since Kibum had left.
Kyuhyun lets out a sigh; a puff of white cloud escaped his chapped lips. He looked up to stare at the dark sky, “I wish it’ll snow…”
“Hey, maknae-ah, what are you doing?”
Kyuhyun looked at Siwon and smiled, “Nothing hyung. Where are the others?”
Siwon looked behind him, where all the members are talking to each other right now, “There. We think of going to dinner. It had been a while since we had dinner together, right?”
The maknae’s eyes lit up, “Is Kibum hyung going to be there too?”
Siwon was caught off guard from the question. All the members are aware that Kyuhyun is missing Kibum so much. Even though the maknae didn’t show it, but the members knew from the way his face fell for a few second when Kibum is not the one who rang the bell (turns out to be Shindong and Heechul), when Kibum was not the one who called (turns out to be Henry) and when Kibum is not hugging him every morning during breakfast like he used to.
“Uh… No… He’s not. He’s busy right now.”
There’s that face again; the crestfallen face and sad eyes. But Kyuhyun is fast in covering it up with a bright smile, “Is that so? Oh well, can’t be helped then.” Siwon watched as Kyuhyun walked passed him towards the members, not missing the way he clenched his hands that they trembled slightly.
--
DING!
Hankyung, Heechul, Leeteuk, Sungmin, Ryeowook and Shindong’s eyes darted on Kyuhyun when the sound of their doorbell rang into the dorm. They knew Kyuhyun will be the one to open the door because the maknae thought it’ll be Kibum.
“Hey, Kyu.”
And like always, it’s not the actor. They felt sorry for the maknae but they knew if they talk to Kyuhyun about this, he would probably brush them off with his snarky remarks.
“Hey Hyuk hyung, Hae hyung,” the maknae smiled and Donghae and Eunhyuk noticed the younger male’s eyes wandered past them, like he was looking for something.
Or someone.
Donghae sighed softly, “Kyuhyun-ah.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes darted at Donghae, “Yeah?”
“Let’s go out for a while.”
--
“Why are we here?”
Kyuhyun asked as he looked around him. He was in a small restaurant near the dorm with Eunhyuk and Donghae. Truth is, he’s a bit nervous about being with the two on his own, even though they had gotten closer recently.
After Kibum’s departure, Eunhyuk, Donghae and Kyuhyun had grown even closer. They even did things like sleeping together, watching late movies together and cuddling with each other; but it always with the other members around. The members had joked that the duo probably doted on Kyuhyun because they can’t dote Kibum for a while, but Kyuhyun wished that it wasn’t it.
“No reason. We just wanted to have a drink with you,” Donghae answered as he poured him a glass of soju.
Kyuhyun scowled at the alcohol, “You probably planned to make me drunk and do embarrassing things right?”
The fishy dancer grinned, “Bingo! How did you know that?”
“You’re such a jerk.”
The older male laughed whole-heartedly before drinking his soju, “Well… All jokes aside… We need to talk.”
Kyuhyun stared at Donghae before averting his gaze to Eunhyuk who’s sipping his own glass of soju, “What is it?”
“You missed Kibum, right?”
Kyuhyun thought it was a dream. He was sleeping peacefully, dreaming about running on a large field, laughing alone but it felt good, when suddenly he felt drops of water fell onto his face. He looked up and frowned upon seeing the bright sky; no sign of rain at all.
“I’m sorry…”
He heard someone said and his face felt wet, not by his tears but by someone else’s.
“I’m so sorry, Kyuhyun-ah….”
Hyung?
“I’m sorry for leaving…”
And when Kyuhyun wake up on Kibum’s bed, there was no sign of the older male.
And when Kyuhyun touched his face, it was sticky with someone else’s tears.
--
Kyuhyun thought it’ll be okay.
He will be okay.
He smiled as he waved at his screaming fans, pretended as if he didn’t notice how spacious the stage was with only him and 11 members of Super Junior.
He had been pretending a lot lately; like how he pretended that he wasn’t dejected when he found Leeteuk at the door instead of Kibum, when he hear Sungmin’s voice on the other line instead of Kibum’s, when the familiar warmness that used to enveloped him every morning was not there.
Sungmin was there, asking him if he’s okay, Leeteuk and the other members too, but he shrugged and said, “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Of course there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s fine, he’s okay. Kibum still called (twice a week to thrice a month to twice a month to once a month) even though Kyuhyun always avoid the actor when Leeteuk or the other members told him that Kibum wanted to talk to him.
Because he’s fine.
But now, he realized that the members were asking him the wrong question, because he is okay.
It’s just that he missed Kibum.
Kyuhyun kept his eyes on Donghae; the older male did the same. Donghae supposed to be the most childish member in the group (alongside with Eunhyuk) but now he wondered how his hyung could change into someone mature in a short time.
“What do you mean?”
Of course Kyuhyun knew what Donghae meant. It doesn’t take a genius to understand Donghae’s simple question, but he prefer to pretend like he didn’t know. He prefer to not saying his real feelings out loud because it hurts even more when you actually admit it.
“You missed Kibum, right?” the older male repeated and Kyuhyun felt like he was trapped.
He didn’t know what he should say to answer Donghae’s simple question. He could always brush the question off with a laugh or snarky comments like always, and yet, is that the right thing to do?
“I missed Kibum,” Donghae suddenly said, making the maknae looked at him in question.
“I thought I’ll be fine because I have the members with me. Besides, Kibum still called and everything was good. But then… He stopped calling frequently because of his schedule and I’d never felt so lonely even with the members around.”
Kyuhyun watched in silence as Donghae chuckled softly before taking another sip of his soju. Eunhyuk was also silent, but Kyuhyun noticed how he nods softly as if agreeing with what Donghae was saying.
“There were times where I wake up and almost said, ‘Morning, Kibummie~’ when I noticed that he was not there,” Donghae’s hand trembles lightly, but the dancer continued, “There were times when I messed up the steps and found that he’s not there to comfort me. There were times when I came home late and found that he’s not there to wait for me.”
Donghae sighed as he stared at the clear liquid of soju, “And during those times, I wished I stopped him when he said he was leaving.”
There was a moment of silence between the three. Only the sound of the other customers talking was heard. Donghae was lost in his own thoughts, so does Eunhyuk. And Kyuhyun was debating on what he should say after hearing Donghae’s words.
He’s not sure what to feel now. He had promise to himself (and Sungmin) that he’ll keep his feeling towards the trio deep in him and just let destiny play it game. He had done well; he’s able to talk, laugh, play, joke and do things he had never know he could with the Eunhyuk, Donghae and Kibum.
But now, he’s afraid if somehow the feelings he kept hidden inside will betray him and reveal itself without him realizing it.
“….I’m sorry….” Kyuhyun finally said. He’s not even sure why he apologized, but he just felt like it. He did feel sorry for his two hyungs; having to cope with their loved one absence. He’s not the type of people who loves to take advantage on the misery of others; he hated using Kibum’s absence to get close to Eunhyuk and Donghae because no matter how much he loved them, it was still a wrong thing to do. Besides, that’ll hurt Kibum and the last thing he wanted was for the actor to get hurt because Kyuhyun loves Kibum as much.
Donghae was caught off guard, but he smiled, “Not really what I expected from you, but thanks.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “Well, I’m sorry if I’m a heartless jerk, okay?”
Laughter erupted from the three of them before Eunhyuk added, “So, what about you, Kyuhyun?”
“What about me?”
“Do you miss Kibum?”
Kyuhyun locked his eyes with Eunhyuk’s before lowering them to his full soju glass, “Sometimes… I wished I have someone to be my partner-in-crime in getting revenge to Heechul hyung…”
“Yah! Kim Kibum, Cho Kyuhyun! You brats!!”
“Nice one, Kibum hyung!”
“Right on, maknae-ah!”
A soft smile spread on Kyuhyun’s lips when the memories he shared with Kibum entered his mind, “Sometimes, I wished I have someone to play StarCraft with when Heechul hyung and Eunhyuk hyung weren’t there…”
“Hyung, you’re the best StarCraft playmate!”
“Hehehehe, of course I am!”
“Eh, wait. No, you’re not the best. Chullie hyung was the best, followed by Hyukkie hyung and then you.”
“Awww~ What? I thought I’m the best!”
“I wish… I wish I have someone to teach me how to play guitar…”
“Hyung, can you teach me how to play guitar?”
“Sure! You can come and learn with me, the Greatest Guitar Master, Kim Kibum!”
“I wish…” Kyuhyun’s words were cut off when he felt tears rolled down his cheeks without him realizing it. His shoulder started to shook and not wanting to hold it in any longer, he let the tears out. He cried and sobbed and hiccupped and buried his face into his folded arms while choking out the next sentence,
“I-I wis-wished… K-Kibum hyung i-is here…”
--
“We’re home~~”
Eunhyuk slurred as he stumbled into the dorm with a drunken Donghae helping him. Kyuhyun sighed as he closed the door behind him. He was the only one who’s not drunk because he had been crying all the time at the restaurant. He was embarrassed that Donghae and Eunhyuk had to see him crying (though it was not the first time) but he still feel grateful for the two males.
He watched in amusement when Eunhyuk stumbled and fell onto the floor, Donghae falling on top of him. Shaking his head softly, he walked towards the drunken duo and pulled Donghae up before helping the giggling Eunhyuk.
“Gosh, I feel sorry for you.”
Kyuhyun’s attention was caught when Sungmin’s voice chimed in. The pink-lover male was frowning at the duo and Kyuhyun smiled, “You’re still up, hyung?”
“Of course, I was worried of you. I mean, what if you’re kidnapped by some rabid fangirl? Those two are just too hopeless.”
“Yah! You’re so mean! We’re not hopeless-hic!” Eunhyuk slurred before he started giggling again and Sungmin gave them a disgusted look, “Ugh, you two reeks of soju. If Leeteuk found out about this, he’ll barbecue you two, you know that, right?”
Donghae’s eyes widened and he stumbled towards Eunhyuk, “Oh no! What should we do? Hic-Hyukkie-ah, let’s apologize to Teukie-hic-hyung now!” the fishy dancer exclaimed as he shook the sleepy Eunhyuk back and forth.
“Hyung, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Teukie hyung will be angrier if you disturb his sleep. Just go to sleep, okay?”
“Kyuhyun-ah,” Donghae hiccupped, “You won’t tell Teukie-hic-hyung, right?’
The maknae chuckled, “No, I won’t. I promise.”
The older male pursed his lips as his eyes glistened with tears, “You’re so kind, maknae-ah….”
Kyuhyun smiled and before he could say anything, Eunhyuk suddenly grabbed his shoulder and looked at him sleepily, “Kyuhyun-ah!”
“Y-Yeah?” he stuttered, surprised by Eunhyuk’s sudden action.
“You’re a good maknae, Kyu… Super Junior is lucky to have a good maknae like you…” the dancer nodded to his words sleepily, “And don’t be afraid to say that you missed Bummie…. Because everyone understands…” The older male sighed tiredly and tilted his head to the side as a sleepy and soft smile graced his lips, “Okay?”
Kyuhyun blinked and stared at Eunhyuk for a few seconds before laughing softly, “Okay, hyung.”
Eunhyuk stared at him before smiling, a childish proud look on his face because he made the maknae laugh. Then, he let Donghae pulled him to their shared bedroom, “Night, night, Kyuhyun-ah~”
“Good night, hyung.”
Kyuhyun lets out a soft sigh before smiling and walked towards his room, “Let’s sleep, hyung.”
Sungmin let his eyes lingered at the closed door of Donghae and Eunhyuk’s shared bedroom before following Kyuhyun, “Sure.”
--
“Say it, hyung.”
Sungmin raised his brows, “Say what?”
Kyuhyun sighed softly as he walked towards his bed and get under the covers. He knew Sungmin wanted to say something to him and he could feel the older male’s eyes on him from the time he enter the bedroom. He gets comfortable on his bed and faced Sungmin who’s sitting on his own bed, back against the headboard and legs draped with his pink blanket.
“So, say it.”
Sungmin stared at him before lets out a soft sigh, “You know what I wanted to say, Kyuhyun-ah.”
“Is it about Hae hyung and Hyuk hyung?”
Sungmin just look at him, but Kyuhyun knows that look; the look that says, ‘You’re right.’
“If you’re worried about my feelings, then don’t. I told you before, I still remember about the promise I made and I’m not thinking about breaking the promise again.”
“Even so, you still love them, right?”
Kyuhyun pondered about the question. Yes, he still loves the trio. Hell, he doesn’t think the feelings were fading at all. Sometimes, his heart beats a bit too fast when he’s around them and no matter how much he tries to hide it, he still couldn’t help the happiness he felt when he’s with the trio.
“Yeah, I still love them, hyung.”
“That’s why I’m worried. No matter how hard you’re trying to hide it, the feeling will keep growing, you know. And I’m sure one day, it’ll become too unbearable that you’ll have to let it out,” Sungmin said, worries clearly etched all over his face. He had been watching Kyuhyun’s interactions with Donghae, Eunhyuk and Kibum for a while and no matter how happy he was to be able to see Kyuhyun looks happy and comfortable around them, he still feels uneasy.
Yes, part of it because of his feelings towards Kyuhyun, but that doesn’t matter now. What’s important is Kyuhyun’s feelings and heart.
Even Ryeowook voiced out his uneasiness to him. The eternal maknae was also worried if one day Kyuhyun will be eaten up from the inside by his own feelings. They didn’t want to see their precious maknae to get hurt again.
Kyuhyun pondered on Sungmin’s words before he lets out a soft smile, “Don’t worry hyung, I’ll be fine.”
Sungmin bit his lips before stretching out a small smile, “You know that I’ll be there for you when you fall again, right?”
The maknae’s smile widened as his eyes fluttered close, “I know, hyung. I know.”
Thank you.
--
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hyuk.”
Donghae said as he patted Eunhyuk’s head. The older male was crying; his right arm draped across his eyes as he bit his lips to stop the sobs from coming out, but his body still shook.
“B-But….” the rapper chocked out, “But Kibum’s not here….”
“I know…”
“And I love Kibum so much…”
“I know…”
“But I almost kissed Kyuhyun just now…”
Donghae stared at the crying male, feeling sorry for the rapper. He knew what Eunhyuk was feeling right now because he shared the same feelings.
“….I know…”
Author: imaginarybulb
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Pairing(s): Kyuhyun/?, Eunhyuk/Kibum/Donghae, Kyuhyun/Sungmin, Kangin/Leeteuk, Hankyung/Heechul, parings may come and go
Summary: It had always been the three of them. Everyone knew that, so does Kyuhyun. Especially Kyuhyun. But still, Kyuhyun succumbed into their world.
It’s been 7 months since Kibum had left.
Kyuhyun lets out a sigh; a puff of white cloud escaped his chapped lips. He looked up to stare at the dark sky, “I wish it’ll snow…”
“Hey, maknae-ah, what are you doing?”
Kyuhyun looked at Siwon and smiled, “Nothing hyung. Where are the others?”
Siwon looked behind him, where all the members are talking to each other right now, “There. We think of going to dinner. It had been a while since we had dinner together, right?”
The maknae’s eyes lit up, “Is Kibum hyung going to be there too?”
Siwon was caught off guard from the question. All the members are aware that Kyuhyun is missing Kibum so much. Even though the maknae didn’t show it, but the members knew from the way his face fell for a few second when Kibum is not the one who rang the bell (turns out to be Shindong and Heechul), when Kibum was not the one who called (turns out to be Henry) and when Kibum is not hugging him every morning during breakfast like he used to.
“Uh… No… He’s not. He’s busy right now.”
There’s that face again; the crestfallen face and sad eyes. But Kyuhyun is fast in covering it up with a bright smile, “Is that so? Oh well, can’t be helped then.” Siwon watched as Kyuhyun walked passed him towards the members, not missing the way he clenched his hands that they trembled slightly.
--
DING!
Hankyung, Heechul, Leeteuk, Sungmin, Ryeowook and Shindong’s eyes darted on Kyuhyun when the sound of their doorbell rang into the dorm. They knew Kyuhyun will be the one to open the door because the maknae thought it’ll be Kibum.
“Hey, Kyu.”
And like always, it’s not the actor. They felt sorry for the maknae but they knew if they talk to Kyuhyun about this, he would probably brush them off with his snarky remarks.
“Hey Hyuk hyung, Hae hyung,” the maknae smiled and Donghae and Eunhyuk noticed the younger male’s eyes wandered past them, like he was looking for something.
Or someone.
Donghae sighed softly, “Kyuhyun-ah.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes darted at Donghae, “Yeah?”
“Let’s go out for a while.”
--
“Why are we here?”
Kyuhyun asked as he looked around him. He was in a small restaurant near the dorm with Eunhyuk and Donghae. Truth is, he’s a bit nervous about being with the two on his own, even though they had gotten closer recently.
After Kibum’s departure, Eunhyuk, Donghae and Kyuhyun had grown even closer. They even did things like sleeping together, watching late movies together and cuddling with each other; but it always with the other members around. The members had joked that the duo probably doted on Kyuhyun because they can’t dote Kibum for a while, but Kyuhyun wished that it wasn’t it.
“No reason. We just wanted to have a drink with you,” Donghae answered as he poured him a glass of soju.
Kyuhyun scowled at the alcohol, “You probably planned to make me drunk and do embarrassing things right?”
The fishy dancer grinned, “Bingo! How did you know that?”
“You’re such a jerk.”
The older male laughed whole-heartedly before drinking his soju, “Well… All jokes aside… We need to talk.”
Kyuhyun stared at Donghae before averting his gaze to Eunhyuk who’s sipping his own glass of soju, “What is it?”
“You missed Kibum, right?”
Kyuhyun thought it was a dream. He was sleeping peacefully, dreaming about running on a large field, laughing alone but it felt good, when suddenly he felt drops of water fell onto his face. He looked up and frowned upon seeing the bright sky; no sign of rain at all.
“I’m sorry…”
He heard someone said and his face felt wet, not by his tears but by someone else’s.
“I’m so sorry, Kyuhyun-ah….”
Hyung?
“I’m sorry for leaving…”
And when Kyuhyun wake up on Kibum’s bed, there was no sign of the older male.
And when Kyuhyun touched his face, it was sticky with someone else’s tears.
--
Kyuhyun thought it’ll be okay.
He will be okay.
He smiled as he waved at his screaming fans, pretended as if he didn’t notice how spacious the stage was with only him and 11 members of Super Junior.
He had been pretending a lot lately; like how he pretended that he wasn’t dejected when he found Leeteuk at the door instead of Kibum, when he hear Sungmin’s voice on the other line instead of Kibum’s, when the familiar warmness that used to enveloped him every morning was not there.
Sungmin was there, asking him if he’s okay, Leeteuk and the other members too, but he shrugged and said, “There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Of course there’s nothing wrong with him. He’s fine, he’s okay. Kibum still called (twice a week to thrice a month to twice a month to once a month) even though Kyuhyun always avoid the actor when Leeteuk or the other members told him that Kibum wanted to talk to him.
Because he’s fine.
But now, he realized that the members were asking him the wrong question, because he is okay.
It’s just that he missed Kibum.
Kyuhyun kept his eyes on Donghae; the older male did the same. Donghae supposed to be the most childish member in the group (alongside with Eunhyuk) but now he wondered how his hyung could change into someone mature in a short time.
“What do you mean?”
Of course Kyuhyun knew what Donghae meant. It doesn’t take a genius to understand Donghae’s simple question, but he prefer to pretend like he didn’t know. He prefer to not saying his real feelings out loud because it hurts even more when you actually admit it.
“You missed Kibum, right?” the older male repeated and Kyuhyun felt like he was trapped.
He didn’t know what he should say to answer Donghae’s simple question. He could always brush the question off with a laugh or snarky comments like always, and yet, is that the right thing to do?
“I missed Kibum,” Donghae suddenly said, making the maknae looked at him in question.
“I thought I’ll be fine because I have the members with me. Besides, Kibum still called and everything was good. But then… He stopped calling frequently because of his schedule and I’d never felt so lonely even with the members around.”
Kyuhyun watched in silence as Donghae chuckled softly before taking another sip of his soju. Eunhyuk was also silent, but Kyuhyun noticed how he nods softly as if agreeing with what Donghae was saying.
“There were times where I wake up and almost said, ‘Morning, Kibummie~’ when I noticed that he was not there,” Donghae’s hand trembles lightly, but the dancer continued, “There were times when I messed up the steps and found that he’s not there to comfort me. There were times when I came home late and found that he’s not there to wait for me.”
Donghae sighed as he stared at the clear liquid of soju, “And during those times, I wished I stopped him when he said he was leaving.”
There was a moment of silence between the three. Only the sound of the other customers talking was heard. Donghae was lost in his own thoughts, so does Eunhyuk. And Kyuhyun was debating on what he should say after hearing Donghae’s words.
He’s not sure what to feel now. He had promise to himself (and Sungmin) that he’ll keep his feeling towards the trio deep in him and just let destiny play it game. He had done well; he’s able to talk, laugh, play, joke and do things he had never know he could with the Eunhyuk, Donghae and Kibum.
But now, he’s afraid if somehow the feelings he kept hidden inside will betray him and reveal itself without him realizing it.
“….I’m sorry….” Kyuhyun finally said. He’s not even sure why he apologized, but he just felt like it. He did feel sorry for his two hyungs; having to cope with their loved one absence. He’s not the type of people who loves to take advantage on the misery of others; he hated using Kibum’s absence to get close to Eunhyuk and Donghae because no matter how much he loved them, it was still a wrong thing to do. Besides, that’ll hurt Kibum and the last thing he wanted was for the actor to get hurt because Kyuhyun loves Kibum as much.
Donghae was caught off guard, but he smiled, “Not really what I expected from you, but thanks.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, “Well, I’m sorry if I’m a heartless jerk, okay?”
Laughter erupted from the three of them before Eunhyuk added, “So, what about you, Kyuhyun?”
“What about me?”
“Do you miss Kibum?”
Kyuhyun locked his eyes with Eunhyuk’s before lowering them to his full soju glass, “Sometimes… I wished I have someone to be my partner-in-crime in getting revenge to Heechul hyung…”
“Yah! Kim Kibum, Cho Kyuhyun! You brats!!”
“Nice one, Kibum hyung!”
“Right on, maknae-ah!”
A soft smile spread on Kyuhyun’s lips when the memories he shared with Kibum entered his mind, “Sometimes, I wished I have someone to play StarCraft with when Heechul hyung and Eunhyuk hyung weren’t there…”
“Hyung, you’re the best StarCraft playmate!”
“Hehehehe, of course I am!”
“Eh, wait. No, you’re not the best. Chullie hyung was the best, followed by Hyukkie hyung and then you.”
“Awww~ What? I thought I’m the best!”
“I wish… I wish I have someone to teach me how to play guitar…”
“Hyung, can you teach me how to play guitar?”
“Sure! You can come and learn with me, the Greatest Guitar Master, Kim Kibum!”
“I wish…” Kyuhyun’s words were cut off when he felt tears rolled down his cheeks without him realizing it. His shoulder started to shook and not wanting to hold it in any longer, he let the tears out. He cried and sobbed and hiccupped and buried his face into his folded arms while choking out the next sentence,
“I-I wis-wished… K-Kibum hyung i-is here…”
--
“We’re home~~”
Eunhyuk slurred as he stumbled into the dorm with a drunken Donghae helping him. Kyuhyun sighed as he closed the door behind him. He was the only one who’s not drunk because he had been crying all the time at the restaurant. He was embarrassed that Donghae and Eunhyuk had to see him crying (though it was not the first time) but he still feel grateful for the two males.
He watched in amusement when Eunhyuk stumbled and fell onto the floor, Donghae falling on top of him. Shaking his head softly, he walked towards the drunken duo and pulled Donghae up before helping the giggling Eunhyuk.
“Gosh, I feel sorry for you.”
Kyuhyun’s attention was caught when Sungmin’s voice chimed in. The pink-lover male was frowning at the duo and Kyuhyun smiled, “You’re still up, hyung?”
“Of course, I was worried of you. I mean, what if you’re kidnapped by some rabid fangirl? Those two are just too hopeless.”
“Yah! You’re so mean! We’re not hopeless-hic!” Eunhyuk slurred before he started giggling again and Sungmin gave them a disgusted look, “Ugh, you two reeks of soju. If Leeteuk found out about this, he’ll barbecue you two, you know that, right?”
Donghae’s eyes widened and he stumbled towards Eunhyuk, “Oh no! What should we do? Hic-Hyukkie-ah, let’s apologize to Teukie-hic-hyung now!” the fishy dancer exclaimed as he shook the sleepy Eunhyuk back and forth.
“Hyung, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Teukie hyung will be angrier if you disturb his sleep. Just go to sleep, okay?”
“Kyuhyun-ah,” Donghae hiccupped, “You won’t tell Teukie-hic-hyung, right?’
The maknae chuckled, “No, I won’t. I promise.”
The older male pursed his lips as his eyes glistened with tears, “You’re so kind, maknae-ah….”
Kyuhyun smiled and before he could say anything, Eunhyuk suddenly grabbed his shoulder and looked at him sleepily, “Kyuhyun-ah!”
“Y-Yeah?” he stuttered, surprised by Eunhyuk’s sudden action.
“You’re a good maknae, Kyu… Super Junior is lucky to have a good maknae like you…” the dancer nodded to his words sleepily, “And don’t be afraid to say that you missed Bummie…. Because everyone understands…” The older male sighed tiredly and tilted his head to the side as a sleepy and soft smile graced his lips, “Okay?”
Kyuhyun blinked and stared at Eunhyuk for a few seconds before laughing softly, “Okay, hyung.”
Eunhyuk stared at him before smiling, a childish proud look on his face because he made the maknae laugh. Then, he let Donghae pulled him to their shared bedroom, “Night, night, Kyuhyun-ah~”
“Good night, hyung.”
Kyuhyun lets out a soft sigh before smiling and walked towards his room, “Let’s sleep, hyung.”
Sungmin let his eyes lingered at the closed door of Donghae and Eunhyuk’s shared bedroom before following Kyuhyun, “Sure.”
--
“Say it, hyung.”
Sungmin raised his brows, “Say what?”
Kyuhyun sighed softly as he walked towards his bed and get under the covers. He knew Sungmin wanted to say something to him and he could feel the older male’s eyes on him from the time he enter the bedroom. He gets comfortable on his bed and faced Sungmin who’s sitting on his own bed, back against the headboard and legs draped with his pink blanket.
“So, say it.”
Sungmin stared at him before lets out a soft sigh, “You know what I wanted to say, Kyuhyun-ah.”
“Is it about Hae hyung and Hyuk hyung?”
Sungmin just look at him, but Kyuhyun knows that look; the look that says, ‘You’re right.’
“If you’re worried about my feelings, then don’t. I told you before, I still remember about the promise I made and I’m not thinking about breaking the promise again.”
“Even so, you still love them, right?”
Kyuhyun pondered about the question. Yes, he still loves the trio. Hell, he doesn’t think the feelings were fading at all. Sometimes, his heart beats a bit too fast when he’s around them and no matter how much he tries to hide it, he still couldn’t help the happiness he felt when he’s with the trio.
“Yeah, I still love them, hyung.”
“That’s why I’m worried. No matter how hard you’re trying to hide it, the feeling will keep growing, you know. And I’m sure one day, it’ll become too unbearable that you’ll have to let it out,” Sungmin said, worries clearly etched all over his face. He had been watching Kyuhyun’s interactions with Donghae, Eunhyuk and Kibum for a while and no matter how happy he was to be able to see Kyuhyun looks happy and comfortable around them, he still feels uneasy.
Yes, part of it because of his feelings towards Kyuhyun, but that doesn’t matter now. What’s important is Kyuhyun’s feelings and heart.
Even Ryeowook voiced out his uneasiness to him. The eternal maknae was also worried if one day Kyuhyun will be eaten up from the inside by his own feelings. They didn’t want to see their precious maknae to get hurt again.
Kyuhyun pondered on Sungmin’s words before he lets out a soft smile, “Don’t worry hyung, I’ll be fine.”
Sungmin bit his lips before stretching out a small smile, “You know that I’ll be there for you when you fall again, right?”
The maknae’s smile widened as his eyes fluttered close, “I know, hyung. I know.”
Thank you.
--
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hyuk.”
Donghae said as he patted Eunhyuk’s head. The older male was crying; his right arm draped across his eyes as he bit his lips to stop the sobs from coming out, but his body still shook.
“B-But….” the rapper chocked out, “But Kibum’s not here….”
“I know…”
“And I love Kibum so much…”
“I know…”
“But I almost kissed Kyuhyun just now…”
Donghae stared at the crying male, feeling sorry for the rapper. He knew what Eunhyuk was feeling right now because he shared the same feelings.
“….I know…”