Fic: Chocobo Madness (Inception, G)
title: Chocobo Madness
author: ilovetakahana
pairing: Arthur/Eames
warnings: CHOCOBOS and other various and sundry cute things and plushies, including other Final Fantasy beasties and a Pokémon [guess which one]. unexpected UFO Catchers [some call them claw cranes]. sugar overload like whoa. random fannish behavior. Unbeta'd.
co-plotted with chn_breathmint, and the direct outshoot of my second contribution to bookshop's Fluff Meme Round Two. Read my first chocobo+Inception mini-story here.
disclaimer: I don't own the original story or the characters, and the only chocobos I can own are the plushies in my house. Not making any profit, just playing in the sandbox.
summary: Arthur has a THING for chocobos.
It gets BETTER, gentles: here be Final Fantasy-inspired Inception art. FINAL INKED AND COLORED VERSION - and fucking awesome!
Also archived at http://ninemoons42.dreamwidth.org/.
Arthur crossed his arms, tapped his foot, even tried to do his version of Cobb's squint.
Behind him, he could hear Ariadne and Eames whispering excitedly together, and he looked irritably over his shoulder and said, "Quiet, please; I'm trying to think here."
Ariadne stuck her tongue out at him.
"Oh, very mature."
"Come on, Arthur, they're just plushies; I don't know why you have to stop here and get something. I feel very out of place," Eames complained.
"Only because you're dressed so hideously you're offending the entire country."
"Wow, Arthur, are you PMSing today or something," Ariadne said, and walked over to press her nose against the glass of the machine. "It's just a UFO Catcher."
"It is not just a claw crane machine," Arthur hissed, "it is a claw crane machine that has something I want."
"And that is?"
Eyes still fixed on the machine, Arthur pulled out his BlackBerry, navigated to the photo folders, and scrolled to one specific image, and handed the whole thing over to her.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Eames leaning hard over her shoulder to look at the photo.
When the comment he was expecting came, it was in a tone of utter disbelief. Par for the course.
"You have a thing for chocobos," Ariadne said, and slapped the phone back into his open hand.
All dignity, Arthur placed the phone back in his pocket and turned to her. "And?"
"You are the last person on earth I expected to like furry ducky birdy things that do not exist in real life."
"Whether they are real or not is irrelevant. That they exist as plushies: that is relevant. I intend to collect them, and I am missing that particular one that is hidden in the machine."
"Oh, god, call me when you're done," Ariadne said. "And dibs on the Moogles."
She walked off into the crowds, then, never looking back to respond to Arthur's eyebrows, which were slowly creeping up his forehead.
That left him and Eames, and he said, "Either go off and amuse yourself or be helpful."
Eames chuckled. "Staying, because I like seeing you like this," and he still managed to make that come out wrong.
"Suit yourself."
Arthur flexed his hands, cracked his knuckles, rolled his shoulders, and grasped the controls of the claw crane machine. Approximate X, Y coordinates, amount of force needed to move the claws, timing, need to dig the chocobo out....
On the first try, he managed to pull out a Tonberry, and that gave him enough space to clear out the three Moogles and the Cactuar wedged in the corner of the machine.
One by one, he fished out the three Moogles - luckily they were all three different kinds, he supposed Ariadne would find some proper use for them, she was one to talk. Pot, kettle, black.
That left him with the Cactuar - and then when he groped for coins in his pocket he came up empty.
"Goddamnit," Arthur swore viciously.
And then Eames was offering him an entire fistful of pocket change.
"I can't use all of this," Arthur said.
"Pick out the ones you can use, leave the rest," Eames said.
Pulling out the Cactuar revealed the final obstacle: a pink puffball of a Jigglypuff.
Arthur did not pause to think about the idea of a Pokémon in a machine ostensibly stocked with Final Fantasy items and simply concentrated on taking it out.
Once he'd fished the pink thing out he thrust it at Eames. "Keep that, if you like."
"Why, thank you, darling."
Arthur's hands twitched delicately on the joysticks, moving the claw arm very gently along its railings - and when he was sure, he hit the button one last time.
Down came the claw, closing around the round yellow head in its red Santa cap, and up rose the chocobo from the pile.
Arthur held his breath until the plushie was safely deposited in the prize slot, and allowed himself a wide smile as he bent to collect his prize.
It was all he could do to not hum the victory fanfare under his breath.
***
Eames watched as Arthur looked down at his - chocobo? - and pulled out his own phone to text Saito.
Kindly tell me where I can find a large number of chocobo plush toys. I know someone who's mad for the things. I don't understand it, but I'm determined to overwhelm him.
Ah, love, was the instant reply. I see you have found the way to Arthur's heart.
Eames grinned, and bagged the Moogles for Ariadne before tucking the Jigglypuff into a pocket of his coat. You have no idea.
It will help very much if you learn to imitate the chocobo's call. Luckily, it is very easy: all you need to do is say KWEH.
"Kweh?" Eames said, sounding it out under his breath.
"Kweh," came the firm reply.
Eames looked up, surprised.
Arthur was grinning at him as he said the sound again, with a different intonation this time. "Kweh!"
Eames smiled with delight, patted the little Santa chocobo on his head as he leaned in to kiss Arthur for the first time. "Oh, kweh."
author: ilovetakahana
pairing: Arthur/Eames
warnings: CHOCOBOS and other various and sundry cute things and plushies, including other Final Fantasy beasties and a Pokémon [guess which one]. unexpected UFO Catchers [some call them claw cranes]. sugar overload like whoa. random fannish behavior. Unbeta'd.
co-plotted with chn_breathmint, and the direct outshoot of my second contribution to bookshop's Fluff Meme Round Two. Read my first chocobo+Inception mini-story here.
disclaimer: I don't own the original story or the characters, and the only chocobos I can own are the plushies in my house. Not making any profit, just playing in the sandbox.
summary: Arthur has a THING for chocobos.
It gets BETTER, gentles: here be Final Fantasy-inspired Inception art. FINAL INKED AND COLORED VERSION - and fucking awesome!
Also archived at http://ninemoons42.dreamwidth.org/.
Arthur crossed his arms, tapped his foot, even tried to do his version of Cobb's squint.
Behind him, he could hear Ariadne and Eames whispering excitedly together, and he looked irritably over his shoulder and said, "Quiet, please; I'm trying to think here."
Ariadne stuck her tongue out at him.
"Oh, very mature."
"Come on, Arthur, they're just plushies; I don't know why you have to stop here and get something. I feel very out of place," Eames complained.
"Only because you're dressed so hideously you're offending the entire country."
"Wow, Arthur, are you PMSing today or something," Ariadne said, and walked over to press her nose against the glass of the machine. "It's just a UFO Catcher."
"It is not just a claw crane machine," Arthur hissed, "it is a claw crane machine that has something I want."
"And that is?"
Eyes still fixed on the machine, Arthur pulled out his BlackBerry, navigated to the photo folders, and scrolled to one specific image, and handed the whole thing over to her.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see Eames leaning hard over her shoulder to look at the photo.
When the comment he was expecting came, it was in a tone of utter disbelief. Par for the course.
"You have a thing for chocobos," Ariadne said, and slapped the phone back into his open hand.
All dignity, Arthur placed the phone back in his pocket and turned to her. "And?"
"You are the last person on earth I expected to like furry ducky birdy things that do not exist in real life."
"Whether they are real or not is irrelevant. That they exist as plushies: that is relevant. I intend to collect them, and I am missing that particular one that is hidden in the machine."
"Oh, god, call me when you're done," Ariadne said. "And dibs on the Moogles."
She walked off into the crowds, then, never looking back to respond to Arthur's eyebrows, which were slowly creeping up his forehead.
That left him and Eames, and he said, "Either go off and amuse yourself or be helpful."
Eames chuckled. "Staying, because I like seeing you like this," and he still managed to make that come out wrong.
"Suit yourself."
Arthur flexed his hands, cracked his knuckles, rolled his shoulders, and grasped the controls of the claw crane machine. Approximate X, Y coordinates, amount of force needed to move the claws, timing, need to dig the chocobo out....
On the first try, he managed to pull out a Tonberry, and that gave him enough space to clear out the three Moogles and the Cactuar wedged in the corner of the machine.
One by one, he fished out the three Moogles - luckily they were all three different kinds, he supposed Ariadne would find some proper use for them, she was one to talk. Pot, kettle, black.
That left him with the Cactuar - and then when he groped for coins in his pocket he came up empty.
"Goddamnit," Arthur swore viciously.
And then Eames was offering him an entire fistful of pocket change.
"I can't use all of this," Arthur said.
"Pick out the ones you can use, leave the rest," Eames said.
Pulling out the Cactuar revealed the final obstacle: a pink puffball of a Jigglypuff.
Arthur did not pause to think about the idea of a Pokémon in a machine ostensibly stocked with Final Fantasy items and simply concentrated on taking it out.
Once he'd fished the pink thing out he thrust it at Eames. "Keep that, if you like."
"Why, thank you, darling."
Arthur's hands twitched delicately on the joysticks, moving the claw arm very gently along its railings - and when he was sure, he hit the button one last time.
Down came the claw, closing around the round yellow head in its red Santa cap, and up rose the chocobo from the pile.
Arthur held his breath until the plushie was safely deposited in the prize slot, and allowed himself a wide smile as he bent to collect his prize.
It was all he could do to not hum the victory fanfare under his breath.
***
Eames watched as Arthur looked down at his - chocobo? - and pulled out his own phone to text Saito.
Kindly tell me where I can find a large number of chocobo plush toys. I know someone who's mad for the things. I don't understand it, but I'm determined to overwhelm him.
Ah, love, was the instant reply. I see you have found the way to Arthur's heart.
Eames grinned, and bagged the Moogles for Ariadne before tucking the Jigglypuff into a pocket of his coat. You have no idea.
It will help very much if you learn to imitate the chocobo's call. Luckily, it is very easy: all you need to do is say KWEH.
"Kweh?" Eames said, sounding it out under his breath.
"Kweh," came the firm reply.
Eames looked up, surprised.
Arthur was grinning at him as he said the sound again, with a different intonation this time. "Kweh!"
Eames smiled with delight, patted the little Santa chocobo on his head as he leaned in to kiss Arthur for the first time. "Oh, kweh."