AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[illusiongrl]

Wrote back & forth with the prof some more. He basically says "there's no dispute because I'm right", so I'm adding it to my list of innapropriate behavior to take to the department chair (found out I have to take it there before I appeal to the dean). Although I desperately wanted to, I refrained from telling him how utterly ridiculous that is -

Comments

[ladyravenfyr]

There are three intertwined schools of though here….

First…
“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds.” Orison Marden

And then…
“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” A. Einstein

But really…
“Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.” O. Wilde

In other words, consider that opposition with this guy is building strength in you and teaching you how to play the rules of the game better but in the end, it’s all about your push beyond your own sense of moderation.

*Raising my glass in Wilde fashion* Here's to the excess of your success!

[illusiongrl]

Thanks for the support. I have to admit that on a barely conscious level I'm feeling kind of ashamed about the whole thing, like my desire for justice in this situation (or at least the anger behind it) is a sign of spiritual weakness.

But then, my shame hackles have been up since I failed to complete the exam on time, so it's hard to tell sometimes what is me and what is that shamey part telling me to conform or die.

So your quotes are especially fortifying.

[ladyravenfyr]

I understand about the shame aspect which is common in our type of personality.

What helps me is to remember that what I need as my bottom line (a passing grade) opposed to what my aspiration (an A++)is usually where my stress lies and thus my shame because I am designed to fall short.

Being angry at "an opposition" can do one of two things; distract you from reaching your goals or fuel you with the energy to do so. The choice is, of course, yours and either way there is no shame. With the former choice, you learn a valuable lesson which you don't repeat or in the latter, you find a useful tool which can be of use.

Just remember, anger is about fear. If you find your fear you can then work to eliminate the fear (remove the source or yourself from the source if it's real or let it go if it is only perceived). Once the fear is eliminated and the anger disippated, then you can choose to take corrective action on this asshat of a professor.

Just some thoughts for you because I'm avoiding work... oh, and I care! :)

[illusiongrl]

Well, my big hot button is unfairness/injustice. My big fear is that I'm being unfairly treated and there's nothing I can do about it but shut up and take the abuse (probably reasonable for someone who was so horribly abused as a kid). I think I really do have to stick to my guns on this one, even if it does result in being judged for it (outside of myself of course). And nobody I look to for feedback is telling me to let it go and move on (if anyone thinks I should, please do speak up!), everyone's kind of confirming that he's a jerk who should be reported. If I don't, then it doesn't get corrected and others suffer. Blah blah blah, justify, validate, etc... ;)

[illusiongrl]

"Balance in all things dammit!"

yes! Except for in the pursuit of balance. Er, wait... ;)

Yeah, it's really the making it better for others thing that props me back up when I start thinking I should let it go. No one should have to endure this much obstruction in trying to get an education.

[ladyravenfyr]

And I know you know this, but don't do anything until you have your final grade in his class. There is a difference between courage and suicidal.

Yeah and that Libra thing... I have Libra rising! I get you girl!

[illusiongrl]

Unfortunately I have to. The school rules state that if you're going to pursue a dispute at higher levels, you have to begin it within 10 days of the incident. If he gives me a shitty grade because I'm ratting him out, then I'll just have to pursue that, too. But I'm hoping he won't because they'll be watching him. Still, it's a risk I unfortunately have to take.