It might be a bit convoluted to anyone but me, yet if you view my journal you will notice that I have been going through a similar process, with respect to the personalities on either end of the sliding scale...
Feelings in general (or at least for me?) are highly contradictory and at times even annoyingly indescribable. Im glad that you could decipher and identify with my attempt to put words on feelings. At times I tend to confuse myself to the point of not entirely understand my own words, and then having to deal with a moment of staring at the mirror trying to figure if I´ve got any sanity left at all. And I do suffer with you in your emotional mess.. You will need to fall out of love eventually. But I suppose that you first need to accept and embrace the pain for what it is, not until then you can really let it go. Bitterness will gradually consume you if you don´t. Just face the mirror..
sounds about right. thank you for sympathizing. misery loves company, and all that! some of my best friends have 'been there' and they commiserate, but it all seems to come from the other side of the fence. They mean well, but what I have been suffering is still current, still ongoing and part of a process which I don't fully understand or see the light or the positive side. I do need to face the mirror and stop staring blankly into that abyss of memory and fantasy wherein dwells these emotions, some bittersweet, some like chewing razors. Yes, my own heart, mind and spirit... let me seal off my side of things, and accept the half. I lived before and I will again... So I focus on the gratitude I still have and the blessing I would otherwise have given, and let go of the anger and pain... how's that sound? :) I just make up my mind to be happy... as best I can be.
Accepting. Letting go of anger. Good, good. Seems to me that you are already one step ahead from your last negative thought there..
Well, another person might just be able to share and understand fragments of our experiences. And sometimes the people closest to us are the ones that will not share or understand at all what we are going through. And that my friend, is the understatement of the century. Because that dark pond of misery that we are drowning in, that we helplessly hope to be hauled up from by some force stronger and more determined then ourselves, will simultaneously push all external attempts away. No matter how close we feel to friends and family, how much they would like to jump in there to help, they will ultimately have to withdraw - due to their own self-preservation. Because we will draw them in there with us and drown them too.
Just keep on climbing, that pond is deep and quite slippery. *throws down rope*
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It might be a bit convoluted to anyone but me, yet if you view my journal you will notice that I have been going through a similar process, with respect to the personalities on either end of the sliding scale...
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And I do suffer with you in your emotional mess.. You will need to fall out of love eventually. But I suppose that you first need to accept and embrace the pain for what it is, not until then you can really let it go. Bitterness will gradually consume you if you don´t.
Just face the mirror..
Reply
some of my best friends have 'been there' and they commiserate, but it all seems to come from the other side of the fence. They mean well, but what I have been suffering is still current, still ongoing and part of a process which I don't fully understand or see the light or the positive side. I do need to face the mirror and stop staring blankly into that abyss of memory and fantasy wherein dwells these emotions, some bittersweet, some like chewing razors. Yes, my own heart, mind and spirit... let me seal off my side of things, and accept the half. I lived before and I will again... So I focus on the gratitude I still have and the blessing I would otherwise have given, and let go of the anger and pain... how's that sound? :) I just make up my mind to be happy... as best I can be.
Reply
Seems to me that you are already one step ahead from your last negative thought there..
Well, another person might just be able to share and understand fragments of our experiences. And sometimes the people closest to us are the ones that will not share or understand at all what we are going through. And that my friend, is the understatement of the century. Because that dark pond of misery that we are drowning in, that we helplessly hope to be hauled up from by some force stronger and more determined then ourselves, will simultaneously push all external attempts away. No matter how close we feel to friends and family, how much they would like to jump in there to help, they will ultimately have to withdraw - due to their own self-preservation. Because we will draw them in there with us and drown them too.
Just keep on climbing, that pond is deep and quite slippery. *throws down rope*
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