Glee - Please Don't Leave - Finn/Rachel
Title: Please Don't Leave
Author: ilerya82
'Verse: Glee
Claim/Pairing: Finn Hudson & Rachel Berry
Media: fanfic
Word Count: 3,630
Rating: T, there's some insinuations of adult situations, but nothing graphic... Oh, and fluff, and a little angst, and well just read it!
Warnings: If you have not seen 3x22 Goodbye please do not read this fic!!! Ok, now that I'm off my high horse, I just don't want to spoil the finale for anyone who has not seen it because they are living under a rock. This is not one of my normal fandoms to write for although it's quickly becoming one of my most popular inspirations, so I apologize in advance for any OOC moments. This is a Future Fic - we're looking at a while past graduation now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I have any rights to the song Paint Me In Your Sunshine as sung by Marie Digby that is featured within, nor has any money changed hands for the production of this fic. It was purely to satisfy my muse and the little plot bunnies that have taken over my brain and seem to be eating away at all my other fandoms because my mind is full of Finchel and Quick plots... Geez!
Summary: Finn is injured and Rachel must come to grips with many life altering events.
Table/Prompt/Listing... for _____ Community: trust from my bingo card for love_bingo
Please Don't Leave
They were a mass of tangled limbs beneath the cream coloured Egyptian cotton sheets. Legs intertwined, arms curled around one another, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. Both dozing in the security of their lover’s embrace.
Paint me in your sunshine
And wake my sleepy eyes
Wrap me in your comfort
Stay with me for all of time
The sunlight diffused through the blinds and left hazy patterns across the mattress. The light was just bright enough to begin to rouse them from their sleep. Finn let a soft grown escape from his body as he pulled her closer, breathing her in. Rachel, his Rachel.
Their moments together were so fleeting now. Every time he was on leave, he would find himself in New York, the two of them holed up in their bedroom in the cramped apartment the couple shared with Kurt and Santana. The couples all living together had seemed like the best idea. It had started with Rachel and Kurt. Then Santana had joined them. When Blaine and Brittany had graduated the next year, both found themselves in the apartment as well. New York had become a have for the New Directions, with most of them finding themselves in the city or just a short train ride away. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and said a silent prayer of thanks that whenever he couldn’t be here, Rachel wasn’t alone.
Reach your hand, I'll follow
Darken clouds for your rays of hope
It was funny; he’d tried to set her free. He’d tried to surrender and allow the Universe to decide if they were meant to be together, but it seemed the Universe had already made that decision for them. It had taken some time, but they had found their ways back to each other within weeks of his first deployment. Though he felt more confident about who he was and the man he was becoming, Rachel was still that beacon of light that guided him through the darkness. She was still that great golden star that shone brightly in the sky for him.
She continued to let him love her, and that was enough. He would be ok. Everything would be ok, as long as she would let him do that for the rest of his life.
********
So paint me in your sunshine
Walk by me, stay right by my side
Fill my head with stories
Full of love and war and glory
She didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was morning. She just didn’t have to. Rachel could feel the warmth of the sun caressing her skin, even through the blinds. She loved this time of day. She snuggled deeper into Finn’s embrace.
This was where she was meant to be.
Reach your hand, I'll follow
Light the path that will lead me home
He thought she was his guiding light, but she knew better. They guided each other. When one of them was feeling lost or in the dark, the other became that beacon. Home wasn’t a place to Rachel; home was a person.
Oh, oh, home
She wanted this to last forever; this beautiful, crazy love affair they were living. It was unspoken between them, but both knew what the other was. Finn was the love of her life, just as she was his. There was no need to formalize their union - yet. They didn’t need a piece of paper to express their commitment to each other. They lived it.
Although, Rachel had been thinking lately that that ring she wore on the chain around her neck should have more significance than being a reminder of the beautiful words he had once said, or the silly kids they had been. She knew that he wouldn’t ask her again until she’d finished school, she’d accepted that, but regardless of not needing it, she wanted it. Rachel wanted to be Mrs. Finn Hudson more than anything. She was 100% sure, so much more so than she ever had been before.
She felt his arms tuck her closer, his hands curling into her wavy brown hair and playing with the curls and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered and she let out a soft moan. Oh, what he could do to her without any real effort!
“Good morning, baby,” his voice was husky, laden with need. He nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, keeping her firmly wrapped in his embrace.
“Mmmm, good morning,” her lips touched his chest tenderly. Heaven. “When do you have to leave?”
This was their last day together for eight months; Finn was being redeployed again. It was heart breaking, but Rachel knew that this time wouldn’t be for too long and then he would be back here with her. Hopefully, just in time to celebrate her first role in a Broadway show after the end of her final year at NYADA.
“Ten… o’clock… train…” he followed each word by chaste kisses. This time, leaving would be harder than ever before. His service was almost over, she knew that it was hard on him, but that it was ultimately the most rewarding thing that he could have done.
One day the world will grow colder
Everything we've come to cherish will crumble
And only then will we turn back
And remember your glow
She just needed to stay positive through all of this, for him and for her own sanity. She couldn’t think about what could happen, what might happen… That he might not come home… She snuggled in closed to him, resting her head on his chest as an errant tear rolled down her cheek.
She vowed to make these last few hours special until they were together again.
********
Paint me in your sunshine
Rachel had known when the phone had rung that morning that it couldn’t be good news. No one phoned at five in the morning with good news. She picked it up with frantic urgency, trying to steel herself for whatever was waiting on the other end of the line.
“Rachel?”
Carole’s voice greeted her, heavy with emotion. Rachel sat bolt upright in the bed, panic setting in. Finn hadn’t been gone much more than a month. Please God, not Finn! Don’t take him from me now!
“Carole? Is everything ok? Is -“ Rachel felt as though she were choking on the words that were coming out of her mouth, but they had to be said, “Is Finn ok?”
“Rachel, he’s been hurt. Oh God, my baby!”
Both women sobbed together; one for her son, the other for the love of her life. He was alive and they were doing everything they could, but it was touch and go. He might not make it home alive.
********
Leave the part of you behind
Pink… It was pink. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t do this without him…
Please Finn, please be alright…
She sank to the floor feeling lost and helpless as she sank to the floor. Her tears flowed freely. He should be here to share this with her. Correction, he would be here to share this with her. He just needed a little time to get better before they could move him. Her mind kept snapping back to the little stick in her hand and she smiled.
It was pink… It was PINK!
********
Tell me where I'll find you
“Rachel, Rachel!” Her heart skipped a beat as Carole’s voce flooded her ears. Her whole body was tense, panic flowing through her in waves. It wasn’t good for anyone, but it especially wasn’t good for her - not now, not anymore.
“Carole? What’s happened? Oh my God is Finn - is he?”
“He’s coming home, baby girl! He’s coming home! He’s alive and he’s coming home!” Relief. The tears came unbidden as relief washed over her. She stumbled backwards until she found the edge of the couch and sank into it, her body wracked with sobs.
Kurt came through the door at that very moment and took in the sobbing dynamo, assuming the worst, his eyes pooled with tears. He rushed to her side and gathered her in his arms, hoping the contact would help soothe her pain, and maybe take the edge off his. Rachel turned her tear stained face upwards to meet his with a smile.
“He’s OK Kurt! He’s alive - he’s coming home,” she said with a heavy sigh of relief, “He’s coming home.”
And send me off to another day
Till we meet tomorrow
********
Three days passed before, Rachel sat with hands clasped in the waiting room of Martin’s Army Community Hospital waiting for her chance to be with him. Carole had tried to urge her to go first, but Rachel had bowed to his mother.
“You gave him life. You cared for him, loved him from the moment he was born. You should be in there first. You loved him first,” she said softly. Carole smiled at her and encircled her with her arms.
“But you’re his life,” she murmured in Rachel’s ear. “I’ll take this opportunity because I’m not the first woman in his life anymore.”
Rachel could hardly believe that this moment had come - that he was finally home. She also couldn’t believe what it had taken to get him to this moment. A road side bomb had exploded and Finn had been among those who were quite seriously injured. The doctors had said it was a miracle that he was alive.
“We all swore that his Rachel must be something really, really special if she was worth holding on that tightly.”
The doctors, his CO, everyone had thought he would give in. There was no reason he should be alive. Shrapnel had peppered his skin with cuts, scratches and bruises. When the off roader had overturned, the top of the frame had pinned him to the ground. They still didn’t know if he would walk again.
“Only time will tell,” the doctor had said solemnly, “The damage to his spinal column is extensive. We can’t say one way or another if he’ll walk, we just don’t know.”
It didn’t matter if she had to roll him down the aisle, Finn was alive. They could get married and live their dreams together. He could be the father he had always wished he’d had. He would have that chance now, and she wouldn’t have to do it alone. She tugged her purse to her chest and cradled it there, thinking of the little Pink stick inside and the blurry black and white photograph that she now carried in her wallet.
She saw Carole exiting Finn’s room. She had been sitting vigil with him for the last two hours. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet. He was in a medicated coma to reduce the swelling in his brain, but things were looking good. The doctors were planning on waking him up today, and Rachel wanted to be right there by his side when he did. Carole looked over at her through tears. They were happy tears though.
“Carole,” she stood and put her arms around the woman who was the closest thing to a Mother Rachel had ever known. Shelby hadn’t wanted, nor needed, the connection with her, and though she had starved for that connection once she knew she could potentially have it, Rachel accepted what Carole Hudson-Hummel had wanted to give her with open arms. The woman had no daughters, only a boy who was head over heals in love with Rachel and that was all she needed to know. From that moment, Rachel had become her daughter and that gesture had meant the world.
“The doctor was in just a while ago, honey, and she said that he could wake up any time. You better be in there. I don’t think Finn would want anyone else to be the first face that he saw when he woke up,” Carole squeezed her tight and kissed her cheek before walking over to Burt and Kurt who sat by the window. There seemed to be a new spring to her step, as if the weight of the world had been lifted.
Rachel squeezed her purse a little tighter as she walked with a determined step into the dimly lit room. She placed her purse on the bedside table and sank into the chair beside his bed. She reached out to squeeze his hand.
Reach your hand,
Her hand looked so tiny there on top of his. Squeezing gently, Rachel leaned her body forward and kissed his cheek. Though she knew the cuts, scrapes and scratches were there, Rachel could only see her Finn laying there. He looked so small, like a little boy; so peaceful as he lay sleeping.
“Finn,” her voice barely more than a whisper, Rachel felt as though she were choking on them, but she had to let the words out. “Finn, baby? It’s - it’s me, Rachel. The, uh, the doctor said that it was good to - to talk to you, that you could hear me and that it’s been shown to help speed awakenings when people are - are…”
Rachel took a deep breath and rested her other hand on her stomach. The gesture was as much protective as it was to help centre her and gather her strength and resolve. She closed her eyes for a moment before continuing.
“Finn, you need to wake up. You are the love of my life; it has only ever been you. I - I don’t,” she couldn’t stop the tears from falling, choking on her fears, “I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
Her strength rushed from her body and the sobs that she’d fought so hard to control broke free. With the floodgates open, she could taste the salty tears as she struggled for breath. She dropped her head on her arms on the side of the hospital bed, his hand still in hers but his arm now tucked underneath her arms.
“Oh - God - PLEASE!”
C’mon Rachel! Get a hold of yourself!
She sat up straight and wiped the tears from her face with her right hand because the left refused to let go of Finn’s.
“Please baby, come back to me. Just squeeze my hand, give me some kind of sign that you’re here - that you’re not leaving,” Rachel pleaded. She stared at his hand, as though just looking at it would will it to move.
Hours passed. Though others would come in and out, Rachel refused to leave Finn’s side. She read him stories from her copy of Broadway Magazine or the copy of Cosmo that Kurt had brought her. Visiting hours were long over, but the nurses had taken pity on the petite brunette and her tear stained face.
When the doctor next came in to the room, Rachel asked the question she dreaded asking.
“Doctor?” He turned and smiled at her, steeling her strength she pressed on, “If he’s no longer medicated to stay in a coma, I mean… When is he… When will he…”
“When will he wake up?” he frowned slightly as he replied, “That I don’t know. What I do know is that all of his scans show normal and there doesn’t appear to be any reason why he isn’t awake yet. You’ll just have to have faith and trust that we are doing all we can do at this moment in time to help him wake up.”
Trust. Faith. Hope. She’d been doing all of that already. All Rachel could do was trust that Finn would wake up when the time was right… And keep talking to him, in case that would urge him to a speedier revival. She smiled at the doctor and nodded her head as he finished checking his vitals and exited the room
Rachel glanced down at her watch. 3 am. Burt had taken Carole and Kurt back to the hotel after Rachel promised that should he wake, she would call. Visiting hours started at 8 am, at which point they would be back and probably be trying to force her to go sleep at the hotel too. Didn’t they understand that she just couldn’t leave? She wanted to be the first one Finn saw when he woke up - she had to be.
“Finn? Baby?” This confession was going to take all her strength. She said a silent prayer and placed her trust in God that He had a plan for them; Finn wasn’t here now for nothing, even if he was only here until he learned of their impending miracle. Taking a ragged breath, she continued, letting the words flow through her in a rush.
“When Carole called me and told me - told me what had happened to you, I felt so lost. After that, every time the phone rang, it was like I was slowly dying inside. What if she was on the other end to tell me that you - you…” Rachel wiped the tears from cheeks before placing it over Finn’s, holding on to him for dear life, before continuing. “I wasn’t feeling myself. At first, I thought it was because of anxiety, and then when it got… got a worse, I thought I’d caught the flu that’s been going around. Santana and Kurt had both been sick, so it wasn’t a far stretch to think that…Well, to think that I would catch it. I had been taking care of them and going to class, and auditioning like crazy…
“Rach, are you ok? You’re looking a little pale,” Kurt said, coming to her side and placing his arm around her shoulders. She’d been feeling a little weak lately, and frankly very nauseous. What did she expect? She’d run herself down with work, school and auditions, taking care of her friends through their flu and worrying about Finn every free moment.
“Yeah, Kurt, I’m -“she pressed her hand to her lips, the bile rising to her throat.
“Jesus, Kurt! Get her to the bathroom! She’s gonna puke!” Santana yelled from the other side of the kitchen counter.
Rachel could feel it too, skittering across the floor for the bathroom barely able to shut the door behind herself before she lost the contents of her stomach to the cold tile floor. Retching her guts out was just how she wanted to spend her one night off of the week! When she finally felt safe to leave her curled position beside the toilet, Rachel cleaned the mess off the floor and then proceeded to clean the rest of the bathroom.
Who’s turn was it to clean the bathroom this week? Yuck, disgusting!
She’d puked her guts out, yet she didn’t have any other flu like symptoms. She didn’t have a fever, feeling her forehead told her that. Besides, Rachel Barbra Berry did not get sick - ever. But she had felt weird ever since Finn’s mom had called and told her… Ever since that day…
No, it had started before that day, that little ‘off’ feeling. When she’d gone to get coffee with Kurt, it just hadn’t tasted right. And when was that again? About three - no maybe four - weeks ago?
Four weeks?!? But that would mean…
“…so, I went to get a test - four of them, to be exact. Every last one of them was the same. They were all positive. So, we’re going to have a baby - and I don’t think I can do this without you - so please, baby, PLEASE! Come back to me…” Rachel dropped her head back to the bed as the tears began to flow. She’d made her confession and some part of her hoped that that would be enough to bring him out of this state.
I'll follow
She was almost asleep when she felt it; a gentle squeeze beneath her fingers, a hand smoothing her hair. Shaking the confusion off, she sat bolt upright.
“Finn? Finn! Oh my God!”
He was staring at her with a gigantic smile on his face. Rachel felt as though she hadn’t seen those eyes in a million years. Her tears returned but this time she was smiling and laughing through them. She leaned into him and Finn wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up on to the bed with him. He held her for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke.
“Did ya miss me?” They both laughed, falling back into their easy rhythm. It was as though they had never been separated at all.
“Of course! You know the world was a little greyer without you by my side,” she said softly. And I was absolutely terrified and blindsided when I found out about this baby, but… I’m learning to deal.
“Rach, I’ve been lying here, trying to open my eyes for so long. And then I heard you; telling me…” he shook his head and took a ragged breath. His voice was barely more than a whisper before he continued, “But I’m gonna try my damnedest.”
********
Hold me close till the day that I grow old
A week later they let him go home. Three weeks after that, Rachel and Finn went before family and friends in a New York City courthouse and were declared husband and wife. It was that day that they chose to tell everyone about their little bundle of joy.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Mm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
The best wedding present of all came the next day. They’d gone for their 20 week appointment and had been offered the chance to find out the sex of the baby. This little girl would have all the love in the world from parents who loved each other more than anything.
Click to listen to the song used in this fic... It's very beautiful, very sweet.
Author: ilerya82
'Verse: Glee
Claim/Pairing: Finn Hudson & Rachel Berry
Media: fanfic
Word Count: 3,630
Rating: T, there's some insinuations of adult situations, but nothing graphic... Oh, and fluff, and a little angst, and well just read it!
Warnings: If you have not seen 3x22 Goodbye please do not read this fic!!! Ok, now that I'm off my high horse, I just don't want to spoil the finale for anyone who has not seen it because they are living under a rock. This is not one of my normal fandoms to write for although it's quickly becoming one of my most popular inspirations, so I apologize in advance for any OOC moments. This is a Future Fic - we're looking at a while past graduation now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor do I have any rights to the song Paint Me In Your Sunshine as sung by Marie Digby that is featured within, nor has any money changed hands for the production of this fic. It was purely to satisfy my muse and the little plot bunnies that have taken over my brain and seem to be eating away at all my other fandoms because my mind is full of Finchel and Quick plots... Geez!
Summary: Finn is injured and Rachel must come to grips with many life altering events.
Table/Prompt/Listing... for _____ Community: trust from my bingo card for love_bingo
Please Don't Leave
They were a mass of tangled limbs beneath the cream coloured Egyptian cotton sheets. Legs intertwined, arms curled around one another, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. Both dozing in the security of their lover’s embrace.
Paint me in your sunshine
And wake my sleepy eyes
Wrap me in your comfort
Stay with me for all of time
The sunlight diffused through the blinds and left hazy patterns across the mattress. The light was just bright enough to begin to rouse them from their sleep. Finn let a soft grown escape from his body as he pulled her closer, breathing her in. Rachel, his Rachel.
Their moments together were so fleeting now. Every time he was on leave, he would find himself in New York, the two of them holed up in their bedroom in the cramped apartment the couple shared with Kurt and Santana. The couples all living together had seemed like the best idea. It had started with Rachel and Kurt. Then Santana had joined them. When Blaine and Brittany had graduated the next year, both found themselves in the apartment as well. New York had become a have for the New Directions, with most of them finding themselves in the city or just a short train ride away. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and said a silent prayer of thanks that whenever he couldn’t be here, Rachel wasn’t alone.
Reach your hand, I'll follow
Darken clouds for your rays of hope
It was funny; he’d tried to set her free. He’d tried to surrender and allow the Universe to decide if they were meant to be together, but it seemed the Universe had already made that decision for them. It had taken some time, but they had found their ways back to each other within weeks of his first deployment. Though he felt more confident about who he was and the man he was becoming, Rachel was still that beacon of light that guided him through the darkness. She was still that great golden star that shone brightly in the sky for him.
She continued to let him love her, and that was enough. He would be ok. Everything would be ok, as long as she would let him do that for the rest of his life.
********
So paint me in your sunshine
Walk by me, stay right by my side
Fill my head with stories
Full of love and war and glory
She didn’t need to open her eyes to know it was morning. She just didn’t have to. Rachel could feel the warmth of the sun caressing her skin, even through the blinds. She loved this time of day. She snuggled deeper into Finn’s embrace.
This was where she was meant to be.
Reach your hand, I'll follow
Light the path that will lead me home
He thought she was his guiding light, but she knew better. They guided each other. When one of them was feeling lost or in the dark, the other became that beacon. Home wasn’t a place to Rachel; home was a person.
Oh, oh, home
She wanted this to last forever; this beautiful, crazy love affair they were living. It was unspoken between them, but both knew what the other was. Finn was the love of her life, just as she was his. There was no need to formalize their union - yet. They didn’t need a piece of paper to express their commitment to each other. They lived it.
Although, Rachel had been thinking lately that that ring she wore on the chain around her neck should have more significance than being a reminder of the beautiful words he had once said, or the silly kids they had been. She knew that he wouldn’t ask her again until she’d finished school, she’d accepted that, but regardless of not needing it, she wanted it. Rachel wanted to be Mrs. Finn Hudson more than anything. She was 100% sure, so much more so than she ever had been before.
She felt his arms tuck her closer, his hands curling into her wavy brown hair and playing with the curls and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered and she let out a soft moan. Oh, what he could do to her without any real effort!
“Good morning, baby,” his voice was husky, laden with need. He nuzzled his cheek against the top of her head, keeping her firmly wrapped in his embrace.
“Mmmm, good morning,” her lips touched his chest tenderly. Heaven. “When do you have to leave?”
This was their last day together for eight months; Finn was being redeployed again. It was heart breaking, but Rachel knew that this time wouldn’t be for too long and then he would be back here with her. Hopefully, just in time to celebrate her first role in a Broadway show after the end of her final year at NYADA.
“Ten… o’clock… train…” he followed each word by chaste kisses. This time, leaving would be harder than ever before. His service was almost over, she knew that it was hard on him, but that it was ultimately the most rewarding thing that he could have done.
One day the world will grow colder
Everything we've come to cherish will crumble
And only then will we turn back
And remember your glow
She just needed to stay positive through all of this, for him and for her own sanity. She couldn’t think about what could happen, what might happen… That he might not come home… She snuggled in closed to him, resting her head on his chest as an errant tear rolled down her cheek.
She vowed to make these last few hours special until they were together again.
********
Paint me in your sunshine
Rachel had known when the phone had rung that morning that it couldn’t be good news. No one phoned at five in the morning with good news. She picked it up with frantic urgency, trying to steel herself for whatever was waiting on the other end of the line.
“Rachel?”
Carole’s voice greeted her, heavy with emotion. Rachel sat bolt upright in the bed, panic setting in. Finn hadn’t been gone much more than a month. Please God, not Finn! Don’t take him from me now!
“Carole? Is everything ok? Is -“ Rachel felt as though she were choking on the words that were coming out of her mouth, but they had to be said, “Is Finn ok?”
“Rachel, he’s been hurt. Oh God, my baby!”
Both women sobbed together; one for her son, the other for the love of her life. He was alive and they were doing everything they could, but it was touch and go. He might not make it home alive.
********
Leave the part of you behind
Pink… It was pink. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t do this without him…
Please Finn, please be alright…
She sank to the floor feeling lost and helpless as she sank to the floor. Her tears flowed freely. He should be here to share this with her. Correction, he would be here to share this with her. He just needed a little time to get better before they could move him. Her mind kept snapping back to the little stick in her hand and she smiled.
It was pink… It was PINK!
********
Tell me where I'll find you
“Rachel, Rachel!” Her heart skipped a beat as Carole’s voce flooded her ears. Her whole body was tense, panic flowing through her in waves. It wasn’t good for anyone, but it especially wasn’t good for her - not now, not anymore.
“Carole? What’s happened? Oh my God is Finn - is he?”
“He’s coming home, baby girl! He’s coming home! He’s alive and he’s coming home!” Relief. The tears came unbidden as relief washed over her. She stumbled backwards until she found the edge of the couch and sank into it, her body wracked with sobs.
Kurt came through the door at that very moment and took in the sobbing dynamo, assuming the worst, his eyes pooled with tears. He rushed to her side and gathered her in his arms, hoping the contact would help soothe her pain, and maybe take the edge off his. Rachel turned her tear stained face upwards to meet his with a smile.
“He’s OK Kurt! He’s alive - he’s coming home,” she said with a heavy sigh of relief, “He’s coming home.”
And send me off to another day
Till we meet tomorrow
********
Three days passed before, Rachel sat with hands clasped in the waiting room of Martin’s Army Community Hospital waiting for her chance to be with him. Carole had tried to urge her to go first, but Rachel had bowed to his mother.
“You gave him life. You cared for him, loved him from the moment he was born. You should be in there first. You loved him first,” she said softly. Carole smiled at her and encircled her with her arms.
“But you’re his life,” she murmured in Rachel’s ear. “I’ll take this opportunity because I’m not the first woman in his life anymore.”
Rachel could hardly believe that this moment had come - that he was finally home. She also couldn’t believe what it had taken to get him to this moment. A road side bomb had exploded and Finn had been among those who were quite seriously injured. The doctors had said it was a miracle that he was alive.
“We all swore that his Rachel must be something really, really special if she was worth holding on that tightly.”
The doctors, his CO, everyone had thought he would give in. There was no reason he should be alive. Shrapnel had peppered his skin with cuts, scratches and bruises. When the off roader had overturned, the top of the frame had pinned him to the ground. They still didn’t know if he would walk again.
“Only time will tell,” the doctor had said solemnly, “The damage to his spinal column is extensive. We can’t say one way or another if he’ll walk, we just don’t know.”
It didn’t matter if she had to roll him down the aisle, Finn was alive. They could get married and live their dreams together. He could be the father he had always wished he’d had. He would have that chance now, and she wouldn’t have to do it alone. She tugged her purse to her chest and cradled it there, thinking of the little Pink stick inside and the blurry black and white photograph that she now carried in her wallet.
She saw Carole exiting Finn’s room. She had been sitting vigil with him for the last two hours. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet. He was in a medicated coma to reduce the swelling in his brain, but things were looking good. The doctors were planning on waking him up today, and Rachel wanted to be right there by his side when he did. Carole looked over at her through tears. They were happy tears though.
“Carole,” she stood and put her arms around the woman who was the closest thing to a Mother Rachel had ever known. Shelby hadn’t wanted, nor needed, the connection with her, and though she had starved for that connection once she knew she could potentially have it, Rachel accepted what Carole Hudson-Hummel had wanted to give her with open arms. The woman had no daughters, only a boy who was head over heals in love with Rachel and that was all she needed to know. From that moment, Rachel had become her daughter and that gesture had meant the world.
“The doctor was in just a while ago, honey, and she said that he could wake up any time. You better be in there. I don’t think Finn would want anyone else to be the first face that he saw when he woke up,” Carole squeezed her tight and kissed her cheek before walking over to Burt and Kurt who sat by the window. There seemed to be a new spring to her step, as if the weight of the world had been lifted.
Rachel squeezed her purse a little tighter as she walked with a determined step into the dimly lit room. She placed her purse on the bedside table and sank into the chair beside his bed. She reached out to squeeze his hand.
Reach your hand,
Her hand looked so tiny there on top of his. Squeezing gently, Rachel leaned her body forward and kissed his cheek. Though she knew the cuts, scrapes and scratches were there, Rachel could only see her Finn laying there. He looked so small, like a little boy; so peaceful as he lay sleeping.
“Finn,” her voice barely more than a whisper, Rachel felt as though she were choking on them, but she had to let the words out. “Finn, baby? It’s - it’s me, Rachel. The, uh, the doctor said that it was good to - to talk to you, that you could hear me and that it’s been shown to help speed awakenings when people are - are…”
Rachel took a deep breath and rested her other hand on her stomach. The gesture was as much protective as it was to help centre her and gather her strength and resolve. She closed her eyes for a moment before continuing.
“Finn, you need to wake up. You are the love of my life; it has only ever been you. I - I don’t,” she couldn’t stop the tears from falling, choking on her fears, “I don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
Her strength rushed from her body and the sobs that she’d fought so hard to control broke free. With the floodgates open, she could taste the salty tears as she struggled for breath. She dropped her head on her arms on the side of the hospital bed, his hand still in hers but his arm now tucked underneath her arms.
“Oh - God - PLEASE!”
C’mon Rachel! Get a hold of yourself!
She sat up straight and wiped the tears from her face with her right hand because the left refused to let go of Finn’s.
“Please baby, come back to me. Just squeeze my hand, give me some kind of sign that you’re here - that you’re not leaving,” Rachel pleaded. She stared at his hand, as though just looking at it would will it to move.
Hours passed. Though others would come in and out, Rachel refused to leave Finn’s side. She read him stories from her copy of Broadway Magazine or the copy of Cosmo that Kurt had brought her. Visiting hours were long over, but the nurses had taken pity on the petite brunette and her tear stained face.
When the doctor next came in to the room, Rachel asked the question she dreaded asking.
“Doctor?” He turned and smiled at her, steeling her strength she pressed on, “If he’s no longer medicated to stay in a coma, I mean… When is he… When will he…”
“When will he wake up?” he frowned slightly as he replied, “That I don’t know. What I do know is that all of his scans show normal and there doesn’t appear to be any reason why he isn’t awake yet. You’ll just have to have faith and trust that we are doing all we can do at this moment in time to help him wake up.”
Trust. Faith. Hope. She’d been doing all of that already. All Rachel could do was trust that Finn would wake up when the time was right… And keep talking to him, in case that would urge him to a speedier revival. She smiled at the doctor and nodded her head as he finished checking his vitals and exited the room
Rachel glanced down at her watch. 3 am. Burt had taken Carole and Kurt back to the hotel after Rachel promised that should he wake, she would call. Visiting hours started at 8 am, at which point they would be back and probably be trying to force her to go sleep at the hotel too. Didn’t they understand that she just couldn’t leave? She wanted to be the first one Finn saw when he woke up - she had to be.
“Finn? Baby?” This confession was going to take all her strength. She said a silent prayer and placed her trust in God that He had a plan for them; Finn wasn’t here now for nothing, even if he was only here until he learned of their impending miracle. Taking a ragged breath, she continued, letting the words flow through her in a rush.
“When Carole called me and told me - told me what had happened to you, I felt so lost. After that, every time the phone rang, it was like I was slowly dying inside. What if she was on the other end to tell me that you - you…” Rachel wiped the tears from cheeks before placing it over Finn’s, holding on to him for dear life, before continuing. “I wasn’t feeling myself. At first, I thought it was because of anxiety, and then when it got… got a worse, I thought I’d caught the flu that’s been going around. Santana and Kurt had both been sick, so it wasn’t a far stretch to think that…Well, to think that I would catch it. I had been taking care of them and going to class, and auditioning like crazy…
“Rach, are you ok? You’re looking a little pale,” Kurt said, coming to her side and placing his arm around her shoulders. She’d been feeling a little weak lately, and frankly very nauseous. What did she expect? She’d run herself down with work, school and auditions, taking care of her friends through their flu and worrying about Finn every free moment.
“Yeah, Kurt, I’m -“she pressed her hand to her lips, the bile rising to her throat.
“Jesus, Kurt! Get her to the bathroom! She’s gonna puke!” Santana yelled from the other side of the kitchen counter.
Rachel could feel it too, skittering across the floor for the bathroom barely able to shut the door behind herself before she lost the contents of her stomach to the cold tile floor. Retching her guts out was just how she wanted to spend her one night off of the week! When she finally felt safe to leave her curled position beside the toilet, Rachel cleaned the mess off the floor and then proceeded to clean the rest of the bathroom.
Who’s turn was it to clean the bathroom this week? Yuck, disgusting!
She’d puked her guts out, yet she didn’t have any other flu like symptoms. She didn’t have a fever, feeling her forehead told her that. Besides, Rachel Barbra Berry did not get sick - ever. But she had felt weird ever since Finn’s mom had called and told her… Ever since that day…
No, it had started before that day, that little ‘off’ feeling. When she’d gone to get coffee with Kurt, it just hadn’t tasted right. And when was that again? About three - no maybe four - weeks ago?
Four weeks?!? But that would mean…
“…so, I went to get a test - four of them, to be exact. Every last one of them was the same. They were all positive. So, we’re going to have a baby - and I don’t think I can do this without you - so please, baby, PLEASE! Come back to me…” Rachel dropped her head back to the bed as the tears began to flow. She’d made her confession and some part of her hoped that that would be enough to bring him out of this state.
I'll follow
She was almost asleep when she felt it; a gentle squeeze beneath her fingers, a hand smoothing her hair. Shaking the confusion off, she sat bolt upright.
“Finn? Finn! Oh my God!”
He was staring at her with a gigantic smile on his face. Rachel felt as though she hadn’t seen those eyes in a million years. Her tears returned but this time she was smiling and laughing through them. She leaned into him and Finn wrapped his arms around her, pulling her up on to the bed with him. He held her for what seemed like an eternity before he spoke.
“Did ya miss me?” They both laughed, falling back into their easy rhythm. It was as though they had never been separated at all.
“Of course! You know the world was a little greyer without you by my side,” she said softly. And I was absolutely terrified and blindsided when I found out about this baby, but… I’m learning to deal.
“Rach, I’ve been lying here, trying to open my eyes for so long. And then I heard you; telling me…” he shook his head and took a ragged breath. His voice was barely more than a whisper before he continued, “But I’m gonna try my damnedest.”
********
Hold me close till the day that I grow old
A week later they let him go home. Three weeks after that, Rachel and Finn went before family and friends in a New York City courthouse and were declared husband and wife. It was that day that they chose to tell everyone about their little bundle of joy.
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Mm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
The best wedding present of all came the next day. They’d gone for their 20 week appointment and had been offered the chance to find out the sex of the baby. This little girl would have all the love in the world from parents who loved each other more than anything.
Click to viewClick to listen to the song used in this fic... It's very beautiful, very sweet.